Crapspace: Where Fiction Goes to Die!
by Ozzallos
Summary: You asked for it, I deliver: Crap. All fiction contained herein is incomplete, unedited and most of all dead. All fics therein are free to use, but they're here for a reason, folks. Sorry for the alerts folks. Spring cleaning!
1. Order of the Dragon

**Order of the Dragon**  
By Ozzallos

_**P**__ant. _

_Pant. _

_Pant._

The small boy ran through from ally to ally as the dusk shadows lengthened around him and the sun slowly sank into the horizon. It was still following him. He knew it. Could feel it. Mommy had told him there was no such thing as the boogie man. No monsters in the closet, or under the bed for that matter. They were all stories and he was safe. At eight year old, he shouldn't be worrying about such things anyway, she had admonished.

Mommy was wrong.

The little boy took a tumble and scrapped a knee on the way down, opening flesh into a bright red gash. Under normal circumstances, he would have cried. Maybe waited for an adult to help him up. But being chased by black wraith from your nightmares tends to help you grow up fast, and he picked himself up from the ground and continued running. The adults weren't any help in this matter, he reflected through saturated panic. They couldn't see it. It had found him on the playground and nobody else even knew it existed. Not the kids. Or adults. Or even his own parents. But he knew instinctively even as the fear invaded his brain that it was after him and him alone.

He cleared another ally and found the fading light on the street. A quick glance behind him revealed no movement from the shadows and a glimmer of hope pierced the fear leadend fear. Maybe, just maybe the boogieman had lost interest in him.

But it was cold.

So cold.

He was standing in the fading orange light and was still shivering. In that moment, he knew the monster hadn't lost interest. It was still hunting him. Even out in the open with plenty of witnesses, it would still have him. He looked around wildly, searching for his tormentor and found it less than thirty feet away, pearched atop a light pole, starring direcly at him. He took a step back, and realized a fundamental truth. It was waiting for those last rays of light before it would take him. He couldn't out run it. He couldn't hide. It would take him away and he would never see Mommy or Daddy again. The boy sank to his knees and began to cry. The black shadow waited patiently, indulging in the boy's fear.

Soon.

The light faded and the cloaked shadow knew. It was time. Time to feed. The wraith floated down as if blown by an inperceptable gust of wind down upon the boy. A boney finger reached out and it chattered with delight. Such a tasty morsel. The shadow settled around the boy and reached in. Now it was-

_CRaaAACK!_

The wraith's world was bathed in a brilliant blue as the bolt of confidence fueled ki slammed home, blowing the monster away from it's next meal with violent force. The roar of energy gave to a hellish scream and the boy looked up, starled to see the monster chittereing madly across the street. He was alive! The wraith picked itself off the concrete and readily oriented on the new threat. He looked along it's line of sight and found his savior, pulsing with radiant blue energy. The boy had just enough time to smile before the shadow lunged forward.

The battle was joined.

* * *

**I**t had been a tough day for Nerima's premier martial artist, one Ranma Saotome. Who now walked atop a fencetop slightly worse for the wear; that wear being various scrapes, bruises and burn marks. What had contributed to the heir's disheveled condition?

His arch nemesis.

For most people, the arch nemesis is the boss or some office coworker. The messy neighbor who borrows tools that will never be seen again. Maybe even that telemarketer that calls at 3am in the morning to solicit vinal siding. Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts had just such a nemesis.

No, it wasn't Ryoga Hibiki, whose legendary indurancy and inhuman strength could pulverize stone with a finger. Nor was it Mousse, master of the Hidden Weapons Art. Ranma had bested Prince Herb in combat and the Demi-God, Saffron, shortening the list even further. And while his fiancées would just as soon kill him as they were trying to marry them, the gulf of skill between he and they was simply too enormous to describe.

Who was this near invincible advesary that had bested the greatest martial artists of the generation at nearly every turn? Who was the one that no technique could touch, no matter how hard the Saotome trained? The answer was quite simple…

Ranma's appetite.

It was by far the most insidious opponent the young martial artist had ever faced, and it could not be stopped. Many had tried. And failed. To come between Ranma and his appetite was a folly of epic proportions and many a challenge had been lost by those not realizing this fact. For Ranma, the problem was slightly different…. His appetite had just betrayed him.

Again.

The day had started off fairly well, with the notable exception that it was Akane who had decided to pack his lunch instead of Kasumi. All in all, this wasn't serious as the martial artist was adept at either dumping the remains she called food or, if she was to stand in witness to it's consumption, bear it down like a true martial artist. The latter he just had to get in the proper frame of mind to accomplish… Look at it as a martial arts test of endurance… And withstand the inevitable painful retribution the food would inflict upon him for having been so rude as to actually consume another sentient lifeform. Infact, it was probably the only thing labelled as food the martial artist would hesitate to consume outright, and this said a lot given the trials he face in the wilds of the Chinese Amazon rainforest.

And it all went wrong about lunchtime, with the words "Hey Ran-chan, you hungry?"

This was, of course, a calculated question on Ukyo's part. Of course he was hungry. Not only was he Ranma Saotome, but he was in possession Akane's baked goods. The fact that his appetite hadn't imploded upon itself, was quite frankly amazing. It was here that Ranma demonstrated another minor character flaw that was directly connected to his arch Nemisis, Appetite. It was called Restraint, or the total lack of. Few could have blamed him, however. Ukyo was a master of her trade and Ranma already scored a negative five hundred on Save vs. okanomiyaki rolls. In other words, the article of food was out over her hands and into his mouth before she could take her next breath.

Therefore, it was rather unfortunate that around the time he was saying, "MMmf… Thank rowlrowlrwol you mmmfmmrr Ucchcan!" A certain other fiancée had widnessed the entire sordid affair.

She was mad.

She glowed Red.

A bright Red, in fact.

Her name was synonymous with feminine violence and a certain line of cricket bats.

From there, it all went downhill. The mallet came out, as did Ukyo's combat spatula to counter it. The standoff between the fiancées inevitably drew Shampoo and her shadow Mousse like moths to the flame, and the fiancée wars began in earnest. Mousse, of course, had other things on his mind… Such as the impalement of a certain martial arts heir on the mass quantities of edged weapondry he launched downrange at the martial arist. All the commotion only served to attract upper classman Tatewake Kuno to the skirmish, adding yet another front to Ranma's Little Big Horn. All in all, it was merely a warm-up for his appointment with Hell's own tour guide.

"I've seen hell because of you, Ranma!"

And so it went. It wasn't nessisarily the participation in the fight that led to Ranma's now worn condition more than trying to break up the fight. Kuno and Mousse went down easily, the former aided by his sister's own involvement while the latter was simply a bumbling idiot. Ryoga eventually hauled off and got lost, while Happosai and his bombing run was a late add to the mix. All in all it had been a really tough day for the fence-born heir to the Anything Goes school of martial arts, that is to say, a thoroughly average day.

And it was about to get worse.

The cold chill came in sometime between the musings of "Why'd the tomboy have to hit him so hard?" and "stupid fiancées", causing Ranma to stop and take stock of his surroundings. If there was one thing the martial artist had by now- aside from a healthy immunity to food poisoning -was a finely honed sense of danger. After all, you didn't live to eighteen years of age in the company three fiancée-martial artists, two of which were proficient in the use of edge weapondry without knowing when the other proverbial shoe was about to drop. Likewise his numerous rivals, meddling parents, curses, spells, pressure points, assasins and the like. Long story short, Peter Parker and his spider sense had nothing on Ranma, and he paused as the orange sun sank deeper into the horizon.

Whatever it was, it was getting closer.

Ki reflexively flowed through the pig-tailed boys boy as another wave of chilling forboding rippled down his spine. Something was out there. Soemthing that had no business wandering the streets of-

A small child scampered out of the ally across the street and the martial artist paused as the kid whipped around wildly, searching for somebody. Or someone? The boy's eyes locked on to a nearby lightpole top and Ranma followed the boy's horrified gaze. There was nothing there? What could the boy possibly be… The hackles on the back of the martial artist's neck raised and the chill intensified. He could barely make it out and even then he was reaching well into his ki-enhanced senses to do it- A shadow. The boy knew it was there. He knew it was there, but it seemed as if nobody else did. In fact, the scant few people that were around seemed to be making a wide birth of the area, if not turning around entirely to avoid the immense feeling of foreboding doom. The shadow seemed to quiver with anticipation as the boy sank to his knees and began to cry. The last ray of dusk's light evaporated around him and the shadow flowed forth. There was no mistaking the intention and Ranma dropped into DEFCON one.

The martial artists had been exposed to any number of ghosts, demons and immortal beings and this one registered like none he had ever seen before. One thing he knew instinctively was that it was evil and Ranma smiled. After a long, hard day of fiancées and rivals, Ranma needed something to unleash his frustration upon. A evil shadowy whisp that eats little children would do _just fine._

_"Moko Takabisha!"_

The blue ki shot flashed in and hammered the shadow with a bright flash of light, sending it tumbling across the street hard. The boy looked up incredulously, surprised at the fact that he was as yet untouched. He looked from his stunned tormentor his savior and broke into a smile.

Ranma gave him a nod. The smile disappeared as the unspoken communication flashed between them. _I'll take it from here._ The little boy nodded with wide eyes and scampered off as the shadow recovered, focusing it's attention on it's attacker. A wave of terror blasted like artic air through Ranma and for the briefest of moments, Ranma feared. A slight tremble took his body before his displine reasserted itself, clamping down on the errant emotions with the Soul of Ice technique. The shadow hissed and Ranma smiled once more. _Didn't like that, didja?_

Ranma's tactical mindset was up and running at full speed now and it instantly associated the cold, depressive air as an effect generated by the monster, probably used to incapacitate it's victim. Oh yeah, he was a huge fan of the old Ghoul's technique these days, Ranma mused and watched as the shadow learch forward, retaking the offensive. A boney claw flew towards him and Ranma was airborn in a high leap that easily cleared the attack, but the wraith was not dissuaded and abruptly altered course, flowing skyward and following the martial artist through his leap.

Damn! Ranma twisted around and let another glowing blue bolt loose and the beast took a glancing blow instead of the full blast as it cut left at the last possible moment. The pig-tailed boy landed on the sidewalk and the shadow floated down to his level, wary of taking yet another blue bolt of confidence while Ranma himself revised his tactical options. He was as much a master of aerial combat as one could be, but unless he was willing to loose a Hiyru Shoten Ha in the middle Nerima, he was gonna have to concede the high ground to the lethal wisp, or at least be damn careful when before deciding to go airborne. Not that it was emitting any perceptible hot emotional energy anyway to fuel the technique. Whatever it was, It was registering as a ki blackout.

The shadow recovered and was on Ranma once more. The martial artist danced around the beast as he avoided its grasp and trade blows in an improvised ki firefight. Few things pressed Ranma's speed these days beyond the old ghoul and perverted master, but this _thing_ was one of them and Ranma was running out of ideas. Blasting the thing with Moko Takabisha's was becoming a temporary measure at best. While they seemed to stun the monster well enough, it wouldn't put it down. The single salvo of vacume blades Ranma intended to eviscerate the thing with seem to only encourage its aggression as well, while his primary martial arts WMD was out of commission. Ranma dodged another grasp. He could go hand to hand, but somehow going hand to hand with a monster he could hardly didn't seem like the best of ideas. Another dodge and he traded away yet another ki blast. The creature dodged easily this time.

He couldn't keep this up. Even his ki expenditure had a limit and the monster was pushing it. Not only that, but the fading dusk glow was working to its advantage, making the creature much harder to perceive. It was either Hand to hand or withdraw, allowing it wander after another victim. Ranma shook his head. Hand to hand it is then, he decided. He'd limit contact at first to see what happened, then open a can of whoop-ass if that went well. The shadow flow in once more and Ranma sidestepped it easily, directing his formidable Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken into what could loosely be termed its midsection.

What was supposed to be a technique of upwards three hundred punches per second martial arts doom as his first punch touched and a wave of icey doom flowed past the soul of ice, breaching his mental control entirely. Ranma tumbled past his target and into the waiting concrete as every bit positive emotion and self confidence was sucked away by the chittereing shadow, now hovering above him. The pig tailed martial artist fought for concentration, only to have his worst fears visited upon him. His minds eye darkened and terror coarsed through him. There were very few things that Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts was truly afraid of and the shadow rapidly progressed through the top ten, leaving the young man a cowering shell on the sidewalk.

Then it got to number one and all hell broke loose.

The shadow itself could have cared less what occupied the number one spot in Ranma's mental nightmares, as its only concern was feeding off everything positive eminating from the young man. But it should have. The number one slot was occupied by slitted glowing eyes and they weren't happy at having been disturbed. Ranma's conscious withdrew from the eyes in terror and they moved into the vacuum created by the retreat. Neko Ranma assumed control of the boy's body and that meant it was time.

_Play_ time.

The cat boy looked up at it's source of angst and, like Ranma, had to reach into the ki spectrum to even perceive the damn thing, but perceive it did. The cat hissed and phantom blue blades formed along its knuckles. Neko-Ranma knew a threat when it saw one and while it had no idea what it was facing, it intrinsically knew what it represented. _Evil._ The wraith didn't have a clue as the ki claws arced in, cutting into its shadowy folds. The scream was a high pitched scraping of a chalk board and Neko Ranma instinctively jumped away, wincing with the sound. For its part, the shadowy demon had no idea what had just occurred. One moment it had been happily feeding and the next everything positive in its prey evaporated, leaving behind a predator totally and absolutely confident in its superority… One that could actually _hurt_ it. Black vapor oozed from the wound and the monster's hunger was forgotton. Now it was time for the food to _die. _The shadow streaked in and Neko Ranma was already on the move, maintining hand-to hand range without being plucked out of the air by a decaying claw.

To anybody watching it looked as if the martial artist had gone insane, shadow boxing with an invisible foe along the sidewalk, deflecting off nearby walls and the like. Such sillyness was generally overlook in Nerima, and it was assumed that despite all appearances, the martial artist was doing something useful with his time. He was doing something useful and only one frightened little boy peering from around the corner knew exactly what that was.

Saving his life.

Cat and demon were in the air now and over a construction fence, slashing at one another as they weaved through scaffolding and unfinished structures, allowing Neko-Ranma the terrain he needed to engage the floating evil on an equal footing. Even so, the cat knew it was loosing the advantage. Unlike a real cat, Ranma's eyesight was being handicapped by human eyes and the wraith was becoming harder to track in the fading dusk. Even so, Neko-Ranma had aquitted itself well, landing three solid strikes to the wraith's one as they danced deeper into the construction site. The cat-boy gave the red blistering along it's arm a couple of quick licks, favoring the shadow's grazing attack.

Another swipe and Neko Ranma lost track of his opponent. His head darted around, searching. The icy waves were still out there and so was shadow, but it was all but invisible now. Threat flashed at the cat from it's right and Ranma was on the move again, but not fast enough to avoid another blister producing strike to the leg, one the cat proptly returned in kind with a slash to the chest. Another blurring attack and Neko Ranma found itself stunned, pinned against the scaffolding and immobilized. The cat snapped back into the real world only seconds later to find it's arms held in a icy grip. It struggled but the burning grip held firm as the shadow leaned in closer, revealing it's rotting skull for the first time. A purple snake's tongue licked it's lips and Neko-Ranma instinctively knew that if those bony teeth touched his lips, he was dead.

This was, in fact, the wraiths goal now- to suck the very soul from the boy's lips. That single act would heal its wounds and revitalize so it could return to its appointed rounds. The cat hissed and the shadow leaned closer and licked the struggling cat-boy's lips. Just a few more inches. Neko-Ranma's right arm came free just as the lips made contact, and the scaoffling around the pair shredded under the ki claw assault, but it was too late. The structure collapsed around them and his body went ridged with paralysis, the shadow wraith's icey tendrils closing in around the boy's soul. Piping and supports continued to fall, and with them, tools, paint and a single bucket of cold water, splashing through the wraith and processing the martial artist's transformation from a he to a she.

The reaction was nothing short of spectacular as the Juysenkyo curse reacted with the soul sucking magic, enveloping both shadow and red headed girl in a fierce red glow. Crimson lightning cascaded of the remaing structure and the beast howled with pain while Ranma's back arched under God's defibulator. The lightning tore the shadow apart, throwing it into the air before vaporizing it outright. Sparkles floated to the ground around the redhead, who was still sizzling with power. Slowly, the red glow faded and the construction site was quiet once more.

It took the little boy who had come with in an inch of his own life another five minutes to work up the nerve to investigate the site of the climatic finale, and when he did, he didn't find the martial arts hero he was expecting. Instead he found a redheaded girl in oversized and thoroughly charred clothing, looking down at herself disgust. The girl couldn't have been a few more years older than himself, and she stepped out of the devastated zone of debris to find the boy simply gawking at her.

She sighed, staring at her tiny hands. "I hate my life."

* * *

**T**he Matriarche of the Joketsuzoku Amazon sat pearched atop her granrled staff on the Tendo property wall, overlooking one eleven year old martial arts prodigy run through a kata no eleven year old had any right knowing. Well, no eleven year old save this one, she amended with an amused smile. Cologne measured his movement with the experience of a master and nodded to herself. Ranma Saotmome might have had seven years of age sucked from him, but it obviously did nothing to diminish his skill. Maybe lost a bit of power and endurance for his trouble, she throrized, but he was still probably one of the most lethal martial artists on the planet.

And now he's mine, she thought with satisfaction.

The situation was obvious as soon as Shampoo had rushed home with the news. Ranma had somehow managed to de-age himself once again and was more than likely in desperate need of a cure, which she just happened to be in possession of right this very moment. It had taken her three days to find and it would be an offer that the martial artist wouldn't be able to refuse. Aging mushrooms for his hand in marriage to Shampoo. No marriage, no mushrooms and Ranma gets to repeat puberty all over again, this time with a curse.

The thought made Cologne smile evilly.

Of course, he'd resist at first. Maybe even go a few weeks trying to find his own cure, but eventually he'd fold. The boy in the yard below stopped his kata and looked directly at the Elder, who smiled back. He simply waited with a frown and she hopped on down, smiling some more. Ironically, they were near the same height now.

"So son in-law, what trouble did you get yourself into this time?" Cologne smirked and Ranma rolled his eyes.

"Beats the hell outta me." He shrugged as if that sort of thing happened to him every day. The Elder checked that thought. On second thought, it almost _did_. "Suppose you're here to make a deal?"

"Very astute, Son in-law." Cologne nodded, the smirk still inhabiting her face. Victory was all but assured. "The deal is a simple one. Your hand in marriage for the cure."

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "Is that what's in the bag?"

Cologne untied the small pouch at her belt, hefting its weight in her hand as if it were a bag of gold coins. "Indeed it is."

"The cure wouldn't happen to be mushrooms would it?" He probed and her smile widened.

"But of course." It was all the Elder could do to keep her calm deamenor. This was it. Complete and final victory. Once she had the Saotome's word, he would ride his honor to hell before breaking it and that meant her legacy was-

"Think I'll pass." Ranma replied with a thoroughly bored look. Cologne blinked in shock. Did he just say… ?

"But the mushrooms…"

"Don't work worth a damn this time, ya old mummy." Ranma shook his head at the Elder's perplexed look, taking some delight in turning her victory to ruin. "Kas-chan had some left over. Let 'em grow under the kitchen sink. Think I ate five of the nasty things before giving up." Cologne twitched. Ranma almost felt sorry for her. "Aw, don't feel too bad. I'll find a cure soon enough and Shampoo can go back to chasin' me like normal and stuff."

She was about to unleash a stinging rebuke into the child when another small boy ran through the double gates of grounds, paused, and instantly found them. A smile broke out across the kid's face, who appeared to be no more than seven or eight in Cologne's estimation.

"Ranma! Ranma! Ranma!" the boy exclaimed and ran over to them, panting. "You didn't start without me, didja?"

Cologne gave the eleven year old pig-tailed boy a searching look and Ranma shook his head. "Nope, just gettin warmed up."

"Um…" The boy looked at Ranma with wide eyes. "Uh… Ra-kun... Some of my friends…" Ranma looked beyond the boy to the gates that were still slightly ajar. Three faces poked out from behind them, two boys and one girl.

Ranma desperately fought to conceal his reaction. At this rate, Kiro would have the entire damn neighborhood over. Still, he couldn't help but to admire the kid's enthusiasim. "Alright, alright. No more though."

Kiro's eyes lit up and he waved his friends over, who covered the distance as fast as their legs could carry them. Cologne stared at the scene with incredulity as she was instantly surrounded by yet more small children.

"This is the boy I was telling you about!" Kiro proclaimed, introducing Ranma. The new kids inspected him thoroughly.

"He's a real live demon hunter?"  
"I thought you said he was taller!"  
"He doesn't look like a girl."

Ranma found Cologne staring at him now and he produced a weak smile. "Eh, heh… Yeah." The pig-tailed boy turned back to the kids. "No, I ain't no demon-hunter, I was taller and if you want to see the girl, you have to have some cold water."

The girl frowned. "I didn't bring any cold water."

"Tough luck then." Ranma stated without sympathy. "But you're all just in time to watch my kata." The girl's frown lit back up into a smile.

The first boy turned to Cologne. "Who's THAT?"

"Looks like a mummy!" The second boy answered and Cologne nearly burned him down with a menacing glare. The glare turned back on Ranma, who withstood it imperviously.

"I'll deal with you _later_, Son in-law." She delivered the threat in an ominous tone, before hopping back to and over the Tendo wall. The kids watched as she disappeared over the wall with wide eyes.

"WHOA!"

"Cool!"

"Scary!"

"That's ain't nothin'" Kiro smiled, motioning to Ranma. "Watch what Ra-kun can do!"

Ranma smiled. "That's right. You ain't seen nothin' yet."

* * *

**R**anma Saotome plopped down at the breakfast table painfully aware that all eyes were on his person. It didn't help that the heir of the Anything Goes School of Martial arts had been inhabiting the body of an eleven year old or had just fought off yet another super natural thingamajig.

"So Saotome," Nabiki led off with the characteristic twinkle in her eyes. "Did you ask mom before your little friends could come over?"

Ranma was about to sneer a response, but was instantly prempted by his mother sitting across the table from him. "That's right, Ranma. You should always ask before bringing friends over."

The pigtailed boy blinked. "I'm _eighteen_, Mom."

"And I'll not have you talking to strangers either," Nodoka Saotome continued as if her son, one of the world's preeminent martial artists hadn't spoke.

"And don't forget to come home when the lights come on." Nabiki added, to which his mother nodded as well. Ranma was now shooting daggers into the middle Tendo.

"Lay off, Nabiki." Akane frowned beside her sister, surprising both martial artist and ice queen. "Can't you see Ranma is-"

"Dammit, Boy!" Genma growled, leaning across the table. "I can't believe you let a little demon beat you like that! Oh, after all my sacrifice!"

"Yeah?" Ranma stood up, his ire sufficiently fuelled. "What was the last thing you stood up to?" Genma never got a chance to reply as his friend began sobbing about the injustices of the world and how the schools would never be joined. Ranma shook his head in disgust, picking up his plate. "Think I'll eat outside today."

The young martial artist's glare swept across the table, only to be broken by a few words from Kasumi. "You're a growing boy, Ranma. Make sure to finish everything on your plate."

Nabiki looked at her sister's oblivious smile. "Since when has that ever been a problem, Sis?"

Thoroughly defeated, Ranma slid the patio door open and stepped back out into the warm spring air, Akane close behind to his surprise. Ranma looked at her skeptically, but shrugged, inviting her to take a seat on the wooden porch next to him. Even after the third day, the youngest Tendo couldn't help but to stare. Of course she had seen Ranma de-aged by mushrooms before, but somehow it had opened her eyes to just how much chaos visited her off again-on again fiancée on a regular basis. I mean, who gets de-aged_ twice_ in a lifetime, she wondered to herself. She didn't even want to revisit any of the other events that plagued Ranma's life on a regular basis, let alone those of the last two and a half years.

The two ate in silence for a moment before Akane led off. "How can you stand it?"

Ranma thought about it for another moment, cocking his head. "Stuff like this always happens to me. Get cursed, find a cure, lose it, rinse, repeat." The boy shrugged. "Just life, I guess."

Akane could only nod dumbly. It literally has been life for him since day one. And somehow, he wasn't resentful. Oh sure, Ranma had been righteously pissed three nights ago when he stumbled home with a scrapped up Kiro in tow, but it was never something that lasted. If anyone had a right to the smoldering fury over their lot in life, it was Ranma Saotome she realized for perhaps the first time since they met.

"If you keep makin' that face it'll freeze like that." Akane blinked, jolted out of her introspective with Ranma's words. She looked down at him to find his plate empty and blue eyes on her.

"Baka."

"That's the tomboy I know." Ranma smiled with the retorted and rocked upright. Akane scwolled, but just couldn't hold it under such an obvious attempt to break her mood. The pigtailed boy began to walk across the court yard and Akane followed. "It ain't so bad. 'Least I get a break from Shamps and Uuchan. Hell, even the curse is behaving itself."

Akane frowned at the mention of the other girls, but held her piece, instead focusing on the crytic curse reference. "What do you mean, quiet?"

"Don't know how to explain it," Ranma elaborated as they continued their walk around the yard. "The girl-type is noisy. It's harder to concentrate."

Akane processed this new information curiously. "You… never mentioned that before."

"No reason to." Ranma shrugged. "I've gotten pretty good at ignoring it, but some days are worse than others."

"And now it's quiet?"

Ranma nodded. "Didn't realize just how annoying it was until all this happened. Now it's weird. Almost feels like this body in that respect."

"You're not…?" Akane ventured and Ranma flashed her an annoyed look.

"Of course not." He replied quickly. "It's still different feelin', even if these haven't grown out yet." Akane didn't miss Ranma's jab at his own chest and the meaning was crystal clear. Even Akane couldn't help but to notice them the last time Ranma had been thrown into the koi pond two days ago. What had once been a prominent display of womanhood no matter what Ranma wore had regressed to mere lumps on her chest. It was a fact that Akane herself couldn't help but to be secretly pleased with. "At least my balance is about even between the two bodies now."

Akane couldn't help but to snort now. Leave it Ranma to transform an insane situation into a discussion on martial arts. She smiled down at the boy. "At least it can't get much worse, right?" Ranma cast her a dry look. "Ok, right."

"That's just inviting somebody to come along and kidnap you, y'know?" Ranma voaice was filled with mirth, an emotion reflected by the smile on his face. It died away as his head swivled over in the direction of the front gates. It was only a moment later that a balding man poked his head inside.

"Hallooooo?"

"Damn, didn't expect 'em to come for you so soon." Ranma mumbled and Akane nudged him in the ribs to shut him up.

Bartholemew Franks and Jeffery Snimples

**Author's Notes;**

**Ranma vs Dementors** - Dementors are said to feed off positive emotion, leaving a void of despair in the victim as a result. One of the only known defenses versus a Dementor is a Patronous Charm, which summons a manifestation of good will to protect the summonor, normally an ethereal animal of some sort. Ranma's ki MT attack is a manifestation of absolute confidence and power, which is why I have it as stunning Dementors. When Neko-Ranma is exposed as a result of the Dementor's attack, I script it as being something of a pseudo-Patronous. Since it is Ranma's fear manifest, the Dementor can't feed on Ranma. I'm also assuming that the cat is a full of confidence in itself, since it is in effect Ranma's ultimate fighting form. While it can't drive away the dementor outright, it can fight and hurt it. Likewise, Dementor's kiss still works because Ranma has a soul, unlike a true Partonous.

* * *

**Crapspace notes-**

This one never really had a plot, which is one of the main reasons it's here. The other reason is that, like Foxcat in some ways, it's horribly and utterly derivitive. I was thinking about dipping my toe into the HP fandom, but this was the wrong way to do it.


	2. GXP OneHalf

**GXP .5**  
By Ozzallos

_"Nukoya."_

**N**ukoya Azrmith stared. In the last fouty eight hours they had been ambushed, attacked, pursue half way across the eastern spiral arm of the galaxy and nearly destroy; but upon setting eyes on their newest aquisition, it almost all seemed worth while. Petite... luscious red hair... an exotic face... perfectly proportioned legs and a chest to die for... Okay, so they had been forced to set down on one of those pre-tech civilizations and resupply. Having half your cargo hold blown open into space by a GP heavy cruiser did that, but this one...

"Nukoya!" The guard blinked as the com channel crackled, and he rushed over to stab a blue key that instantly projected the four by five visage of a gruff balding man into the air in front of him.

"Sir!"

"'Bout damn time." The man growled, the scar along his eye warping slightly with displeasure. "Captain wants his new toy. He wants her _now._"

The spikey blonde sent a lusting gaze at the native behind the force barrier, then back to the holo. "Yes sir! I'll be happy to handle her... er, handle it!"

"Just get yer ass in gear," The man scowled, then added. "And she had better be unspoiled by the time she gets here or I won't be responsible for what happens to you."

Nukoya grimanced tensing. "Wouldn't dream of it!"

"Ha!" The image chortled for the first time. "Any man who wouldn't doesn't have a pair. Now_ MOVE IT!_"

The sceen blanked out and the pirate guard sighed. _So much for the company._ His eyes turned back to the girl behind the blue tint of the force screen and walked over to the acess panel, keying in a code. "Alright, let's get you up, Red."

The barrier evaporated with the last key press and he pulled the shock baton out from its holster, thumbing the switch with a grin. The blunt of crome instantly hummed, illuminating the inadequately lit space with a menacing orange glow. Still sleeping, Nukoya shook his head at the ridiculously cute vision curled up on the hard cell mat.

"SNOOOORRRRTT..."

The pirate guard blinked at the unlady like sound that buzzed against his eardrums. _Damn can she snore_. "Alright, fem. Rise and shine."

"SZZZZZNNRRRR..." Was her reply, the redhead shifted a bit in an attempt to find a comfortable spot while inadvertently creating a very lascivious new pose for the guard to dwell on. His eyes traced her nearly exposed charms that threatened to fall out of their light orange tee at any moment, before shaking his head free of his reigning labito. Oh sure, he could have her right here and now... Then later, the nearest airlock courtesy of the Captain himself.

The pirate frowned with the thought. "Girl, I said get your ass up!"

"SZZZROOOORTTT..."

Nukoya's eye began to twitch. She was damn hot, but the clock was ticking and that snoring was getting on his nerves. He twirled the shock baton and stepped up to her. _A little shock never hurt anybody_. he pushed the tip at her, only to watch as the rehead rolled to the side. Nukoya cocked his head, reaimed and stabbed at her again, this time with purpose. The girl curled up just enough for him to miss the exposed leg he had targeted entirely.

"SNOORRRRRRNNTT..."

"Grrrr..." This time he batted at her thigh with the flat of the orange scepter, again missing her entirely as she yawned unconsciously, all but curling up around his feet. _She has to be awake! The bitch is playing games! _Nukoya swung with force, once again missing as she evade the blow, but grazing his own foot in the process. "AIYYAAAH!"

The pirate fell to the plassteel deck in pain, then instant numbness as his foot was forcibly removed from his nervous system. it took a minute to get the twitching of his leg uncontrol and once the blinding pain faded away, he found the girl stretched out across her mat in another pose that would only be found in a provactive mens magazine. "You... you can't still be..."

"SZZZZNNNOOORRREE..." This time, it was followed by a yawn and something that appeared to be purposeful movement. Nukoya shakily rose back to his full height, determined to look at least somewhat imposing. Another yawn and the redhead began to scrub her eyes open. "God... who the heck was snoring so damn loud...?"

The cell guard blinked. Then blinked again, staring incredulously at the awakening girl. "THAT WAS YOU!"

"Me?" The girl blinked, noting the voice. Blue eyes focused on the upright guard and his orange baton, then wandered around her accomidations. A frown crossed her face and the crystal blue eyes returned to the room's only other occupant "Where the hell am I?"

"Aboard the pirate ship Megumi no Mikaa," The man puffed with a leering grin. "And _you _are our prisoner!"

"Pirate ship?" The girl arched a skeptical eyebrow, taking another look around her. "No, really. Where am I?"

"I JUST TOLD YOU!" Nuyoka blurted, his patience running thin. He began to wave the shock baton at her menacingly. "The Megumi no Mikaa! The most feared pirated ship in known space! You had best cooperated if you wish to see your next days!"

The girl simply walked by him, as if he hadn't spoken. "You sure we're not in Japan?"

"Listen to me, wench, you-ACK!" The baton blurred in to punish her inattentiveness, and the seemingly unaware girl ducked around it, stepped inside the offending arm and grabbed the wrist. She locked the joint and the guard squealed, dropping the weapon to the ground and allowing her unrestricted access to his arm. The native flowed around his body, jerking the limb back behind him inspite of his size advantage, prompting another yelp. His struggle lasted only as long as it took for her to jerk the arm into hyperextention.

"OWOWOWOWOWO!" He screamed, ceasing all movement in favor of gibbering panic. "Who... _who the hell are you?_"

"Your asskickin'." The girl commented absently, anchoring the arm in an iron grip in hand while reaching down for the glowing baton. She took it in hand, studying what was obviously utility end of the glowing implement. "Where'd you say I was again?"

"The... The Megumi no Mikaa!" Nukoya Azrmith gibbered, eyeing his former baton and his former prisoner warily. She waved the baton in front of his face and he cringed.

"And where is that?"

"Uh, space... Not exactly sure... Eeep!" The pirate gulped nervously as the baton buzzed dangerously close to his nose. "Spacespacespace! No idea where! I'm a guard, not a navigator!"

"Space?" Nukoya nodded rapidly. He couldn't see her face but the tone of her voice and proximity of the baton indicated her skepticism clearly enough. "Hmmm... Can this thing kill anybody?"

The pirate guard blinked, confused at the sudden change in topics. "Um, no. It's just a shock ba-"

**BZZZAAAAAAPPP!**  
_"AAAAaaahhheeeigH!"_

"Hmmf," The redhead snorted, stepping over the twitching inert body.

Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial arts studied the body at her feet, then the baton in her hand. The guy appeared to be just like any other, save the fact that he was clearly foreign in both features and dress. The baton... Ranma's eyes flicked back to the glowing club. It didn't exactly scream space man weapon, but the results spoke for themselves. The redhead shrugged and turned her attention to the room at large. Half of it was the cell she woke up in, sporting a simple padded mat and imbedded into the wall. The other half was just as spartan with chairs, a few blanks screens and that was it. Ranma looked back to her feet and the twitching man, nudging him with a foot.

"Feh. Whatever," She muttered, turning away from her former captor and sighting the room's only a door, a sealed steel hatch. Inset on the frame was a distinctly plain looking keypad and Ranma gave it an experimental poke. The action prompted the pad to beep at her but did little to open the barrier before her. Another couple of random stabs produced the same result and she sighed, contemplating her next move._ Pirates. In space. On board a space ship_, she mused, all but dimissing the guard's testimony outright. Last thing she remembered was training just south of Niigata. Snuck out, spent three days losing the fiancees and rivals before setting up camp. _Then i woke up here_, Ranma frowned, trying to decide if she want another try with the pad. She raised a finger and hadn't even touched the panel when a single yellow light began to blink.

"Nukoya!" A bassy voice growled from the panel. "Mate Azrmith, you had not be screwing the captain's prize!" It took a moment for Ranma to realize just who and what the voice was refereing to and by the time she did, he had already continued. "I swear, if you've even touched her, you're going out the next air lock, do you understand me? Mate Azrmith! I'm not taking lashes for your insubordination! It's ta Captain that get's the first fruits! _Nukoya!_"

"First. Fruits." Ranma ground out the words, projecting was icey death into the panel now that she was quite clear on their intentions toward her. She stepped away from the panel and centered up with the segmented hatch, studying it for a moment before sliding into an advanced wu shu stance. "Hiiii-_YAH!_"

**THUuunK!**

The plasteel security door held against the edge of her fingers for a fraction of a second as she completed the two meter circle before failing entirely, falling into the next passageway where four armed pirates stared incredulously at the diminutive redhead stepping through the breach. There hadn't been an explosion. No slag to indicate a plasma torch. One second the hatch had been whole and intact, the next..._ Her_. Somehow one of the pirate's mental process finally kicked in and his fingers fumbled with the weapon at his holster; some sort of gun by Ranma's estimation. The laser cleared the holster leather, but Ranma had already crossed the hall and was inside his guard like red lightning. The anonymous pirate didn't even have a chance to get the barrel level before it was chopped by an orange blur of the stun baton she wielded and The weapon clattered away; the opening it created was more than enough for her to pulverize his sternum with an open palm and send him into the opposite wall with a crunch.

She didn't bother to admire the handiwork and instead spun low, acquiring the next stunned pirate who had since recovered his wits. Her second victim didn't even get a chance to pull his weapon, instead finding the orange glow of the baton rebounding off his head, his head in turn into the wall behind him. All things considered, he was rendered unconscious before he even knew he had been hit, let alone shocked. Her gaze shifted over to pirate number three. He simply stared as she approached, shuffling back into the wall with her proximity.

"You gonna cause any trouble?" The pirate shook his head with the question and she nodded, moving on to pirate number four. She gathered up the collar of his black jumpsuit and began to drag him along. His struggles were merely an inconvenience and she pushed him into the next closed blast door, favoring him with a leaded blue eyed glare. "I ain't happy right now. Open it."

Behind her, the slightest whisper of a weapon clearing its sheath was hear and Ranma's opposite hand flashed out without looking, produceing a meter wide ball of atmosphere compressed ki that blazed back into pirate number three with a sickening thud. Her steely gaze never left pirate number four, who was whimpering now. At first he had thought she was Galaxy Police with the hand to hand moves, but with the doors and that energy blast... His eyes flicked back to his pirate comrade, who had been thrown dead or unconscious all the way across the corridor. _Not GP. Something worse_, and he nodded emphatically to comply. The redhead released him and he sagged with relief, turning to the hatch panel and keying through the requisite code. It chirped politely and the segmented doors hissed open.

He stepped back and was instantly bathed in laser fire, Ranma's own eyes widening as vectors of thing blue light lanced through the man's body, killing him instantly. She pressed into the meager cover of the blast door's frame and sparks rebounded off it and the plate walls of the corridor around her, giving her precious seconds to review her tactical options. _Now _those_ were space weapons_, she decided began to invert her ki with some effort. After another full minute of saturation, the laser fire slackened and footsteps could be heard.

"Did anybody see where she went?"  
"...Had her pinned down!"  
"I've got four unconscious in here... one flatline!"

Ranma simply waited as armored space pirates ran past her, filling out the corridor around her.

"Bridge, she's not here! What do you have on internals?"  
"Stand by... I've got her on heat."

The soldiers tensed, raiding their energy rifles in preparation.

"She's... SHIT! She's right in the middle of you!"  
"What!"  
"Dead center of your formation! Middle!"

That was her cue and the redhead slid out of the forbidden technique already blurring into her first target. Even though these pirates had come prepared, swathed in armor, the martial artist was through four limbs and three unconscious victims in under two seconds, moving onto the fourth even as they had only begun to comprehend the threat in their midst. A laser rifle swung around and it was slapped away, quickly followed by the crack of a displaced kneecap and a spinning roundhouse to the head. Whatever ballistic protection the pirate's helmet was meant to provide apparently didn't extend to high caliber weapons or super powered martial artists, sending him spinning into another pirate like a top to immobilize him as well. The topsy-turvy spin sent his rifle up like a pop-fly ball where Ranma snatched it out of the air and leaned backward into the angle only Olympic gymnast could have executed, disarming her sixth victim with what was normally a ranged weapon. His weapon clattered to the steel plate deck with hers and the redhead was fully into her cartwheel, hands on the floor and two supple legs wrapping around his neck. She secured them around his airway and snapped him hard to the deck with a suplex, rendering him as unconscious as his fellows.

"Team one! One, respond!" Ranma recovered to height, reviewing the engagement mentally even as one of the displaced pirate helmets pleaded for a response. "O'donka! Do you have eyes on the girl? O'donka? Castle! We're sending teams two and three down!"

The martial artists kicked the helmet away, sending it skittering down the corridor even as she mentally revised the Umi Sen ken to take into account her body heat with the Soul of Ice. She stepped out of the circle of bodies and continued down the hallway, turning down the blind corner and coming face to face with another lone pirate, this lacking any sort of armament whatsoever.

"Hey, aren't you-AHHHARG!."

"Yeah, that's me," Ranma smirked, grabbing his hand and twisting it, sending the pirate to his knees in agony. She held the lock the wrist with no effort whatsoever. "You're gonna answer my questions, aren't ya?"

"Yesyesyesyesyes!" he hollared as she twisted his right palm outward a bit more.

"Good. Cuz if ya don't, I'm gonna break this, then your elbow, and then the shoulder," She advised simply even while acknowledging the fact that she'd probably just knock him out before resorting to that level of cohesion. The look in his eyes told her it wouldn't be necessary, however, so she continued. "This is a ship. Ships have captains. I want to see this ship's captain and you're gonna show me where he is."

The pirate whimpered, still cringing with the pain lancing all the way up his arm from the joint lock. "But... but he'll kill me!"

_A rapist and a murderer. Simply wonderful_, Ranma groused but held the arrogant smirk for the submissive man. "Nah he won't. I have it on good authority he wanted ta see me anyway."

* * *

"**S**ector three, corridor five breached!"  
"Still no response from teams one or three!"  
"Nothing on thermal! She's dropped off internal sensors entirely!"  
"Sealing sector... Team two reports they are being engaged!"

"On screen!" Captain Riktus Corde snarled and the compartment's feed was routed to the main screen where the action was already in progress. The bridge fell silent as they watched what amounted to a redheaded buzzsaw weave in and out of the pirate compliment, dropping any she touched at will. The contrast flared as a weapons beam came dangerously close to the visual circuit itself and by the time the image had compensated, only a handful of his men remained. Laser fire was useless. Any attempts to meet the girl in hand to hand were similarly disastrous. only two men remained now and the pirate captain was grinding his teeth. "Vent that section to space."

"Sir, the men!"

"Damn those fools!" Riktus smashed a meaty fist into his armrest to vent his impotent fury. "They can't even claim themselves to be pirates if they're being slapped around by some native waif! Depressurize that compartment!"

"Ahrm," An imposing bald man coughed politely, stepping down from his station to stand next to his captain. "Sir, if I may?"

Captain Riktus glared at his executive officer for the interruption, but nodded his assent and the man keyed a couple of buttons on his armrest. A holographic image phased into existance denoting the a ship schmatic and several flashing compartments in yellow. "These are the compartments she's cut her way through. _Cut_ her way through. We depressurize B68 and all of those, _including_ the men behind them go with her... Not just that squad."

"Team two completely neutralized! No response!"  
"I've lost her!"

"And I don't give a damn,_ Commander!_" His captain growled, eyes glinting dangerously. "I want her off this ship! I want_ those incompetents _off this ship as well!"

The bridge crew of fellow pirates listened in stunned silence for a moment, but returned to their stations lest they run afoul of their captain's homocidal mood. Still, the fact that he had been willing to vent nearly twenty six of his own to open space was indelibly noted; especially when the girl- whatever the hell she really was -had yet to kill _one_.

"Blast door 381b compromised!" The litany of damages continued, further incenssing the captain. The image on screen switched with the announcment, only to find a perfect two meter circle cut into the plasteel hatch, but no girl.

"VENT HER TO SPACE!"

"We can't vent her to space if we don't know _where_ she is, Captain." The commander explained patiently. Sure, he could have suggested that they seal off everything around her last known location two compatements in depth to ensure her departusre, but there were men and women in those too and he wasn't about to suggest _that_ to the captain in his current state. True to form, he could see the man's fury building and the bald man made an attempt to head it off decisively. "That said, if she's foolish enough to want to come to us, i suggest we let her."

The Captain's rage relented, though he still eyed his XO suspisiously. "Go on, Commander Caleb."

"It's obvious she's making her way toward the bridge," The commander state, pointing along the holographic blue print and the trail of damage. "As such, there is only one way in, one way out. The moment she breaches that door we pour everything into it. Toss a few cracklers down the hatch just to be sure."

"Indeed..." Riktus hissed, a cruel smile forming at the edge of his lips as he imagined the girl stepping through the bridge access, only to get torn apart by blaster fire and explosives. "Do it! Helm, set auto-pilot; We have a witch to fry!"

Commander Caleb nodded, turning back to the bridge crew. "You heard the man, slobs! Spread out around the bridge so we have even coverage and multiple vectors of fire. Nox, grab some cracklers and get ready!"

The bridge crew scrambled with the orders, abandoning their stations to take up cover behind the supports and chairs. Another dusty blond ran over to a sealed compartment in the wall and stabbed the green button of its holographic panel. The small hatch slid open and he reached in, pulling two smallish cylinders before taking his own place within throwing distance of the main access. Even as they all moved into position, another keening alarm sounded. One of the personnel found it's origin.

"Blast door 221a compromised," the woman reported in a stressed voice. "One more before she's on the same-" Another pitchy alarm sounded and she frowned. "She's on the command deck! Only minimum security doors between her and us now!"

"Heheheh...Hahaha.. HAHAHAHAH!" The Captain cackled manically in the open, pulling a wicked looking pistol from it's holster and sighting the long barrel on the sealed hatch. "Let the wench come! LET HER COME!"

Another eight laser weapons lined up onto the door even as the keening alert continued. "Hatch 003 breached! Hatch 002 breached!"

This time a subtle thud was heard with the last announcement and the bridge crews collective trigger fingers tensed. The door they stared at now was the very last one standing between her and-

_SZzzzziKT!_

The faintest outline of a circle appear in the doorway, molecularly sharp by Caleb's estimations, not to mention impossibly quick. Sure the doors were fairly easy to brute force and a plasma cutter could melt clean through the average security door in seconds, but nothing was that clean, that fast and above all, that silent. If they hadn't already known she was behind that hatch, none of them would have even known she was there until it was far too late. _But since we do,_ The commander seated the laser rifle deep into his shoulder and waited. he didn't have long and the circle of plasteel fell in.

"FIRE!"

The high pitch of beam discharge permeated the air and laser fire lanced into the hatch, rebounding off the security door, it's frame and the corridor beyond. The captain continued to feed in high energy plasma pulses with his own weapon and the commander continued to light off his own rifle, but had the presence of mind to enact the second phase of their defense. "Cracklers, now!"

The pirate who had retrieved the explosive cylinders gave one a sharp twist and lobbed it through the sundered hatch where it clattered amid the laser fire before detonating in a wild gout of flame and sparks. He palmed the second and tossed it in behind the first buckling the corridor further with the low pressure charge. Smoke billowed from the free fire zone and the emergency ventilation engaged, sucking away the cloud before it achieved carciogenic levels. After a full two minutes of fire, he called the ceasefire lowering his own weapon and barking his next orders at another crew member.

"Chang, get in there. Check it out." The black haired male frowned, but hopped over the bridge railing to the door, blaster poised. His sole comfort was in the fact that nothing could have survived the now blackened cooridor of death. He stepped carefully through to the halfway point, shaking his head.

"There ain't nuthin' in here, Commander Sir!" he took another look, just to be sure. "No body, no blood... Nuthin!"

"That's impossible, fool!" Captain Riktus hollered, moving up to the door himself. Sure enough, there was the gunners mate standing all by himself in a corridor marred by high temperatures and explosive detonations. Nothing could have survived in there, but something did because that something wasn't there. The man stood trembling for a moment, his gaze seeing nothing before him but red fury. "FIND HER! FIND THAT WITCH AND KILL HER!"

He whirled back around to reenter the bridge and stopped, happening upon a sight that caused his blood to run cold. There she was. On the bridge. Sitting in his very chair..._ Completely unscathed_. Commander Caleb saw his captain freeze suddenly, stared curiously for a moment before turning to find what had cause the reaction. It was, in fact, the red head they had been searching for. She was lounging in the captain's chair, one leg draped over the left armrest, watching the goings on about her as if she were merely curious and hadn't just disabled three armed assault teams and survived an impossible crossfire.

_What the hell did we let aboard our ship?_

"Hey, which one of you is the captain?" She asked easily and Riktus' pistol flew from it's holster, leveling out on the girl. For once, Caleb was simply too stunned to even raise his rifle, as was the rest of the bridge crew if the shock on their faces was any indication. The girl's blue eyes narrowed on the pistol and her face faded into a neutral mask. "That'd be you then."

"Yes, that would be me," The captain hissed as he edged along the perimeter of his own bridge, keeping the pistol trained on her at all times. "I am The Bloody Star, Captain Ricktus Corde of The God Slayer at your service!" His the right edge of his lip turned up into a sneer. "Forgive me for not bowing."

The redhead waived the apology away as little more than an inconvenience. "Don't worry about it. Not much on formalities myself."

"Indeed, indeed..." Riktus chuckled, flexing his trigger finger as if it had an itch. The girl emoted neither care or notice as she favored him with a bored look. "I should shoot you just for being in my chair, young lady... But I am feeling generous today. My bed would be _far_ more comfortable, wouldn't you agree?"

"Nah. Think I'd rather be shot."

The captain's cheek twitched and a scowl began to gradually replace his leer. "Then at least have the decency to remove yourself my chair... I would so _hate_ to put a hole in it."

"Sure, why not?" the girl shrugged, removing her leg from the arm rest before hoping up out of the recliner. It was also the last clear shot he would receive and suddenly the girl was a blur. To his credit the Captain had the reflexes to squeeze off one round and the bolt blazed into her after image, blasting a hole into an unfortunate panel. His attempt to track the girl ended with a crushing vice around his gun hand and her crystal blue eyes in his face. He tried to pull the trigger. Tried desperately. her hand was interlocked into his around the gun and her smirking visage hung in his face for a moment before she slid around, taking the arm with her around his back.

Commander Caleb..._ watched_. It was all he could do. He watched as she charged the gun- an ordinarily suicidal move made all the more suicidal in the fact that the Captain was an expert duelist -and actually dodged the shot. She pulled the hand around in a classic locking maneuver, except this particular joint lock still held the gun in hand and it was now pointed directly into the back of Corde's _skull._ Their leader instantly ceased all movement even though he positively towered over the girl and the Commander's mouth was completely dry. _What the FUCK had just happened? _Finally something close to a coherent thought found it's way to his lips.

"Captain... Your... _orders?_"

"I wish to parlay!" Riktus yelped, imagining just what sort of mess a plasma bolt would create if discharged into the back of his head.

"I _don't_." Ranma returned evenly, not even knowing what a parlay was but correctly divining the meaning through the desperation in his voice. "In fact, I'm thinkin' you _really_ want to take me back where I came from."

"Anything, anything!" The captain whined only to be countermanded by his second.

"We _can't._" The girl's icey gaze fell upon the commander and he shivered, especially knowing what she was fully capable of and seeing it demonstrated first hand. They had scannered her before first chucking her in the cell. No weapons. No nanite enhancement. No battle suit. More importantly, he was certain she could kill every last person on the bridge, yet had as yet declined to do so on her good graces alone. They owed her an answer for that favor alone. "It was a random jump, nav computers fried. We were even lucky to find your planet, let alone make the repairs to get off of it without the entire goddamn GP fleet dropping on us."

The girl let her steely gaze bore into him for another moment or so before pushing the gun back into the captain's scalp to empasis her displeasure. "You realize how unhappy that makes me, right?"

"I... I've been plotting the jumps by hand," A buxom black haired woman with a short crop of hair volunteered nervously, also hoping to avoid her own annihilation at the redhead's hands. "Without the computer to store the more complex jump angles and fold equations, finding your planet will be..."

_Next to impossible_, Ranma finished with a mental scowl, turning her attention back to the captain. "And I suppose he's the one who decided I'd be a great addition to his bedroom?"

The Executive Officer frowned. It was really the topic he had been hoping to avoid, even if the through was largely wishful thinking. Any truthful answer would condemn the man to death and if she found out they were lying, would condemn _everybody else_ to death. Fortunately, the captain preempted any other response with a whimper.

"Please don't kill me," The man whined, all but admitting his guilt to the girl. "There's treasure in the hold! help yourself! Anything!"

"How about I just take your entire damn ship?" The girl tapped the end of the barrel hard into the back of his, simultaneously retching the joint and reminding him just how precarious his situation was.

"Yes! yes! A splendid idea!" The Captain agreed eagerly, casuing the commander and half the bridge crew to stare dumbly at him. "And the crew as well! It's all yours! Simply set me down on a habitable planet and I'll be about my way!"

Ranma glanced back at the executive officer. "Got one of those handy?"

It took Caleb a moment to realize what she was refering to. After all, he was still coming to terms with the fact that his captain had just sacrificed every last one of them to save his own hide. "One what?"

"Y'know, what he said."

"Um, we won't know until we get the nav back online." The black haired girl answered again, staring at the man formerly known as their captain. "Once we do, we can fix our exact position in space... maybe even find your planet on a star chart."

"Then do that." She yanked the pistol out of Rikus' hand and poked two points at the base of his neck. The pirate captain instantly lost complete control of his muscular neverous system and collapsed bonelessly to the deck with an 'oof!'. She waved the pistol nonchalantly around. "Keep him out of trouble. Let me know whan you get the nav thing workin. Goin' back to my room."

"Uh... Yes Captain?" Caleb murmured as she stepped through the perfectly circular breach through which she came.

* * *

**R**anma Saotome retraced his path back through the pirate ships corridors back to her room. Normally she would have been hard pressed to navigate the seemingly featureless hallways, save the fact that she had carved through a path through their doors and in the processes making it quite easy to return to her room. Pirates stared but unlike her journey to the bridge declined to impede her progress in any way, which was fine by her. _One less ass-kicking i'll have to hand out before getting off this boat,_ she mused, continuing unmolested toward her destination. Overall, there wasn't a whole lot to complain about, aside from the inconvenience of being spirited away from home, she decided upon stepping through the final circular cut hatch and back to her cell. Ranma shrugged mentally. The bed therein was a sight more comfortable than the futon back at the Tendos, let alone the camp site she had set up.  
_  
Even runnining water_, she smiled, stepping up to the facet, then frowned upon further study of the wall imbedded unit. _No knobs to turn._ She ran her hadn unter the spout just incase it was motion activated but failed to coax any warter from the station.

"Hard to get hot water if-" Her grousing was cut short as liquid began to flow freely from the facet. The redhead stared for a moment, then shrugged to herself, dipping her hands into its warmth. "I guess that works."

Ranma gave herself a quick splash across the face instantly reverted to the gender of his birth: taller by nearly a foot, black hair and quite noticably male in appearance. He adusted his silk shirt to take into account the sudden lack of cleavage and gave himself a stretch. Pirates, Ranma snorted. So far the "space pirates" had done little to impress apart from the fancy lasers they toted. Some of the pirates even made for decent hand to hand targets, but none of it- including the pop-out wall mounted laser turrets encountered on his way up to the bridge -posed a credible threat and now all he had to occupy his time was the small room, it's bed and

**Ranma vs Blast doors** - _Upon waking up aboard the ship for the first time, Ranma executes a technique that carves a perfect circle through about an inch an a half plasteel security door. At first I had written this scene in with breaking point, but decided it was not only cliche, but entirely unnecessary as Ranma has a number of his own breach techniques. This particular example can be found in book 31 Part 5 - "Both Akane and Alkari" where Ranma literally cuts through half a meter of solid concrete, opening a perfect two meter circle into the next room... And incidentally atop Ryoga's head, knocking him out cold and giving us an approximate density of said material.

* * *

_

Crapspace notes-

Not that this wouldn't have been a fun fic, but it would be time consuming and i have enough of those fics. Let's see... We'd have eventially had ranma's arch nemisis Mihosihi (then later love interest), Ranma the pirate king/queen, a bounty, conspiracy in the GXP, a tree ship oh his own and a cat girl second in command. WILL THE FUN NEVER STOP? Yes. It did. Right here is where.


	3. Naruto SM concept

"_Wake up, brat!"_

**T**he nine tailed demon known as Kyuubi snarled ineffectually from his astral prison as he watched vital organs begin to simply fail. Anybody else would have been dead. As it was, he was barely holding the dying boy together. Tissue was deteriorating almost as fast as he could regenerate it while Naruto himself lay unconscious at the center of the prison's seal network, unable to lend his own will to the healing effort.

_If the brat had gone for a killing blow, we wouldn't be in this mess_! Kyuubi hissed once more as he fed more chakra into the effort, running the razor's edge between keeping up with the damage and creating his own. Instead of the killing blow, Naruto had used his vast and overwhelming power to merely scratch the Uchiha's head protector! The Kitsune howled with righteous indignation and worked to stabilize the heart.

"And now we're nearly dead because of your misbegotten notions of loyalty and friendship!" The fox growled, watching as the lung he had healed in combat begin to collapse once more.

"No, that's not how it works at all."

The Kitune, so intent on keeping his jailor- and himself by extension –alive was taken completely by surprise by a female reply. His vulpine head swung around and watched as a woman stepped out of the cavern's recessed shadows and into the meager light of the sealing network. Kyuubi blinked. And blinked again.

The woman stepping out of the shadows was nearly 170 centimeters tall and sported a wild mane of luscious green hair that flowed behind her like an emerald tide. Her garb was decidedly not that of a ninja, consisting of a form fitting white top that merged into a loose black skirt. A bow hung just off the line of her cleavage, bound by a blood red jewel that matched the choker at her neck.

"Who… the hell are _you?_"

The woman paid him little mind as her black calve high boots carried her into the interlocking circles of the seal network. She tipped a long, silver staff back along her shoulder, studying the unconscious boy at her feet. The mysterious guest cocked her head as she took in the details, crooking an enigmatic smile.

"Friendship… Love… These are the most powerful forces in the universe, Kitsune," her eyes never left the boy at her feet. "They represent hope… Life… Happiness… You would not exist were it not for them."

"They are for the weak," Kyuubi snarled, overcoming his wariness of the female who had invaded his personal prison. "Like the boy here. They beg to be crushed mercilessly."

"Said the imprisoned demon." The woman nodded, incensing Kyuubi further.

"LEAVE BEFORE I DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!"

"Hatred devours itself," She continued, turning away from the unconscious blonde to studying a portion of the seal to her left. "Therein lies balance. Its power is an illusion, consuming all who wield it."

The fox watched as the woman tipped the staff off her shoulders to touch the ring she had been studying, bathing the steel heart on its tip in the seal's power. A red orb imbedded at the heart's base pulsed brightly and the circle rotated ninety degrees, the symbology along its circumference rewritten. Kyuubi's malice stalled as he watched the mysterious interloper manipulate the seals of his prison.

"What are you-?"

"That which you cannot," She finished for him. The woman observed the glyph's reactions for another moment before moving on to another two meters to her right. The process was repeated by her staff, rotating the new target a full 180 degrees before she pulled the tip away. Kyuubi puzzled at her actions before seizing upon sudden realization. _If she can manipulate his prison so easily…_

"Release me, woman," The kitsune demanded suddenly. The woman paused on her way to the next corner of the seal, eyeing the demon with faint amusement.

"Now why would I do that?"

"Do so and I shall spare your life," Kyuubi returned haughtily. The statement earned the newcomers undivided attention. Red eyes turned upon him and she broke from the seal network, walking up to his cage with ineffable calm. The woman stared up at the demon that now towered five stories above her.

"_You_," she stressed, as if to verify what Kyuubi had just offered. "Promise to spare _me?_"

"I am bound by my word," He replied arrogantly, and the woman seemed to consider this for a moment, then favored him with a lidded gaze.

"Look into my eyes, Kitsune," She replied simply and Kyuubi did so, if only to humor the woman. He found the red pools and… and… Her eyes were… he was… she…

Kyuubi recoiled suddenly at what he found, pulling away as if she was something truly deadly. "What… _What the hell are you?"_

"There are forces older and more powerful than even you can possibly imagine, Kitsune; forces that can crush the life out of planets, let alone some insignificant bug such as yourself," The green haired woman favored the fox with enigmatic amusement. "I am one such force; the keeper of the underworld. Your long term welfare rests on not antagonizing me further."

Kyuubi stared upon the diminutive woman warily, unsure what to make of her, her presence here in his prison or the ease of which she manipulated it. Whatever she was, however, was no simple woman. Her eyes were timeless… they held a weight that was all but impossible for a mere man-monkey to possess. She started back to the seal, but paused, turning over her should back to him.

"Now why shouldn't I simply devour _your _soul?" The question effectively terminated Kyuubi's further thoughts on the matter, causing him to still suddenly. "Your presence in my friend's psyche is quite unwelcome, nor have you gone out of your way to endear yourself to my good graces. By all rights, I should cut you from existence like the cancerous tumor you represent."

Kyuubi's mouth went dry. "I… you… you _couldn't…_"

The emerald haired woman turned around to him fully, allowing the full weight of her red gaze to rest upon him. Kyuubi flinched, shuffling back as she extended her hand. Pink energy began to crackle within her grasp, forming a pink ball of power that continued to enlarge menacingly. "For my friend, there is nothing that I wouldn't do."

The pink vortex of energy enlarged to a full meter in diameter, pulsing with deadly potential. Kyuubi could feel the roiling power and quickly came to the conclusion that if the stranger before him decided to release it upon him, it would inflict more than its fair damage upon him, astral prison or no.

"I… I can help!"

"Indeed." A thin green eyebrow arched skeptically, her tone sufficiently skeptical to convey her doubt clearly.

"I've helped the brat!" The giant fox rushed in order to shore up his chances of surviving this increasingly bizarre encounter. "If it hadn't been for me, he'd be dead several times over by now!"

"And you do so only to ensure your own survival," The woman shook her head, but released the pink ball of power. It instantly shrank and collapse upon itself with little fanfare. "Do not think that I have mistaken the focus of your altruism, Kitsune; but as you say, I may have use for you yet."

Kyuubi watched as the woman continued back to the circle, resuming her operations at the seal. Two more interlocking circles were manipulated, the script along their circumference rewritten. Next she began to reroute chakra pathways within the construct itself. The fox watched her progress with mounting incredulity. For whatever else she may have been, the woman was quite obviously a seal master. Manipulations that should have taken hours to place were accomplished within minutes. Sure, he could have done the same thing had he access to the network, but to watch this female man-monkey do so at the same level was disconcerting at best.

After another fifteen minutes of silent progress and the woman finished her work, returning to the boy at the seal's center with a fond smile. She tapped the blond's forehead ever so lightly with the heart edge of her staff prompting Kyuubi's host to glow, his body bathed in a pink aura. Curiosity poured from the fox in nearly tangible waves as the aura pulse like a heartbeat, building in intensity with each repetition until flashing brilliantly. The body arched suddenly in spasm, forcibly ejecting a crystal from the child's chest.

"If you kill him-!"

The woman ignored Kyuubi's protests as the body relaxed and the crystal floated upward gently to eye level. The aura around Naruto's body persisted, but this time it was the crystal that also began to glow, pulsing once, then twice. The woman smiled softly. "Yes, it's time, your highness."

_Is she going insane?_

The crystal pulsed once in response and the green haired woman nodded. "Of course. I'll make sure the others are ready as well." Another pulse. "T-Thank you, your Highness. It's good to see you again as well."

The crystal pulsed a final time and the woman nodded. The heart tip came down upon the boys head once more and the artifact floated down, phasing back into invisibility within his chest. The aura persisted however, then flashed a blinding pink. Streamers of raw power launched throughout the cavern, each trembling with unstable power.

"What the hell have you done, witch!" Kyuubi snapped as his prison swayed. While it may have only been an astral construct and lacked the persistence of actual rock, the fact that the woman's ministrations had affected his prison so was more than alarming. His panic, however, failed to move her silhouetted form, and power continued to lash away from the Naruto's pink cocoon.

Bolts of light and energy splashed against the prison walls, instantly reacting to the various surfaces they encountered and catalyzing it from dull rock to brilliant pink crystal. So much power was bleeding from the boy, in fact, that the entire chamber had crystallized in under five minute. Kyuubi stood in awe. Even the bars of his prison were faceted shafts of pink sapphire, while the floor that held the seal itself was literally tiled in it. Naruto glowed for a moment longer before his body began to… _shift._ Kyuubi watched, literally entranced as mass was added… Subtracted… Displaced… The boy's hair blond began to grow out, his features sharpening in some places, softening in others. The curves…

Sudden realization descended upon the demon as the transformation entered its final phase. He recognized that form… that body… The brat had used it time and again, but… how...? More to the point, why?

The emerald haired stranger looked over the transformation with satisfaction. Where once a short, scruffy haired blonde lay, a longer haired girl had taken his place, a girl many ninja within the Village of the Leaf would recognize as a product Naruto's own technique. The glowing aura finally subsided in its entirety and the woman nodded. Her job here was done.

"What…. how…. _why?"_

_Almost._ She turned back upon the crystal imprisoned Kyuubi and walked to him, the demon wary of every step after what it had just witnessed. The woman considered the captured fox as if it were little more than an insect. "Neither of the three are important to you. What _is_ important, at the moment, is your offer to help… Or die."

Kyuubi, the dreaded nine tailed demon of legend was speechless. At this point, he had little doubt that this… _female_ before him could bring just such an event to pass as easily as she had restructured the entire seal and astral prison itself. Given the display of power and his overwhelming lack of any leverage whatsoever, there really was only one alternative.

"I'm… I'm sure we can work something out…"

* * *

_Power._

**K**akashi nearly missed his leap to the next branch as a wave front of tangible power washed across his senses. It was chakra; dense, malicious chakra that only killing intent could produce. The one eyed ninja secured his footing upon the treetop and resumed his high speed pursuit behind Pakkun, though the ninken was hardly necessary at this point. The horizon beyond lit briefly with the energy expenditure, then faded out, all but marking his student's position.

The patter of droplets caught up to the speeding nins.

"Rain!" Kakashi snapped, fuming internally. _Will anything about this day go right?_ The situation was simply too precious. As long as Naruto and Sasuke remained in one spot, things were salvageable. If it came down to a pursuit, however… The white haired nin glance at Pakku as they took the next branch. "Do you still have their scent?"

"It's alright!" The tracking dog confirmed as the pair cleared the forest tree line. "I still have it! They're here!"

Kakashi skidded to a halt as the terrain abruptly opened up into a modest canyon, its dominant feature being two imposing stone wrought statues overlooking a waterfall and the canyon's length. _Of all the places… _Kakashi grimaced as his single eye tracked along the canyon floor. With as much chakra as he felt expended, the signs of battle would be obvious. The eye locked onto a spot of orange.

_Naruto!_

Dog and human scaled the sheer stone cliffs with ease as the rain pattered down around them, methodically bringing the dried canyon back to life. Splashing footsteps brought them to the orange clad figure in seconds.

_Am I too…late?_

Kakashi's thought process ground to a halt as that single eye took in the figure lying before him. Even Pakkun halted his four legged advance and circled warily around the body, sniffing. At first glance there was little doubt that it was Naruto, but that observation didn't hold up under scrutiny. There was, of course, the bright orange jacket and pant combination that was all but the genin's trademark. Likewise, the blond hair was hard to miss, but that was where the similarity ended. The inert body at his feet clearly belonged to that of a girl. There was no mistaken the curves… Kakashi blinked. _Or the face_.

"Impossible…" He muttered, stooping down to get a closer look. After a moment, he shot an unspoken question over to Pakkun.

"She _smells_ like Naruto…" The pug confirmed, albeit in a somewhat uncertain tone. A quick sniff at the marred head protector lying next to the girl revealed another key piece of information. "Sasuke."

Kakashi puzzled over his options as the rain around them slowly picked up in intensity. There was no doubt about who the girl was, or rather _what_ she was. Naruto, under the guise of his Sexy no Jutsu technique. The white haired nin pulled the metal plate of his forehead protector up, revealing the scarred sharingan eye for the first time. His field of vision wavered slightly as the transplanted eye fed his brain new information.

_Not a jutsu_, the sharingan confirmed, matching what his other senses had already told him. _Which makes absolutely no sense. Why would Naruto use this technique in such a serious situation? Assuming it is Naruto…_His eyes wandered to the forehead protector lying beside the girl._ And Sasuke… Gone._

The dilemma presented few answers for itself and only an increasing number of questions, leaving only one course of action. Naruto was still alive. Somehow. Kakashi picked up the discarded forehead protector and gathered the girl gently in his arms in his arms, the action stirring her to the barest edge of consciousness. A delicate hand strained to lift for something unseen.

"_Sasuke…"_

The hoarse whisper sealed any doubt he had over who the girl in his arms was in that single word. This was Naruto; the how and why of his justu form was irrelevant. Even Pakkun seemed to agree.

"It's ironic, isn't it?"

Kakashi nodded silently. The two stone monuments towering overhead spoke to that irony quite well, and just how similar their paths were. "Naruto and Sasuke… Your lives are remarkably like theirs."

The nin and his dog traced their way back up and out of the canyon, Pakku taking the time to sniff at the rocks on the way up. Any scent left behind by Sasuke had been thoroughly washed away by the shower that was only now beginning to taper off.

"That rain," Both cleared the canyon ledge and the pug announced his findings. "I can no longer follow his scent. Anyway, Naruto is more important than following Sasuke."

"Yes," The one eyed ninja agreed. It was a bitter pill to swallow, even if the logic was simplistic enough. They had Naruto here and now; injured, but alive. Sasuke, regardless of his condition, had turned his back on the village. Kakashi stared at the girl in his arms. There was only really one choice.

"Let's go."

* * *

"…_He's stabilized, but we had to use his hair for a catalyst. It's a patchwork job, but I think He'll pull through."_

"_I trust your patchwork more than most full surgeons, Shizune. Trama three has the __Akimichi child's bleeding stopped. They're going to have to…"_

"…sagi…" The named whispered, encroaching on Naruto's lazy psyche. It was a girl's voice, accompanied by a slight nudge to his ribs. Girl or boy, he wished they would just go away. "Come on, wake up meatball head!"

The name grabbed his attention, causing blue eyes to flutter open and revealing the world turned… sideways. Naruto lifted his head off a desk and wiped away the drool from the edge of his mouth, while his sluggish mental process attempted to bring its own higher brain functions online.

"Jeez, falling asleep like that in class…"

The genin blinked, finding the criticism's source standing beside him in the form of a girl with flowing black hair, sharp facial features and a bemused smile. _A school uniform?_ Naruto blinked again. He had been expecting a nurse after the all out brawl with Sasuke. He was tough, but had taken some good hits. The observation prompted Naruto to take in his surrounding as a whole, finding not a hospital, but a class room instead.

The blond frowned. "Okay, this is officially weird."

"I'll say," The black haired girl replied with mirth, flipping a strand of black hair behind her back. Blue-grey eyes shown with amusement. "I've never seen anybody sleep as much as you."

"Uh," He replied intelligently, and the girl turned back to the desk beside her, gathering up her book bag. Naruto took another glance around to confirm the fact that he was in a classroom and _not_ the hospital, then found the girl once more. "Do I _know_ you?"

"Come on," She motioned as if she hadn't heard the question. "Ami and Makoto are probably wondering where we are."

_At least she's cute,_ Naruto mused as he got up from his own desk, deciding to play along. Still, he couldn't help but to shoot furtive glances at the walls of the classroom. It was like any other, save the fact there was nothing ninja related about it. No jutsu charts, no maps concerning human physiology, no scrolls… The girl stepped out through the classroom door and the blond hurried to follow.

"Where are we?"

He might as well have been speaking to thin air. The girl continued down the hallway she had exited into, acknowledging the question with an, "Mmhmm," and then an unexpected, "That's what I thought, too."

_Okaaay…_ Naruto shook his head. Clearly, the conversation was going to be one sided, so he turned his attention to the passing students. The most obvious observation he could make was not a damn one of them were ninja. They didn't walk right and they sure as hell weren't dressed right. The second was that whatever school he had woken up in was downright huge. He'd already passed eight more classrooms following the girl and the lines of lockers were endless.

There was, however a light at the end of the tunnel… or hallway of lockers, and Naruto followed the girl outside, whereupon her face shown a bright smile. "Over here!"

Her wave attracted the attention of another two girls sitting on a bench not ten meters away. Both stood up and flashed their own smiles. For his part, Naruto continued to watch the approaching girls. The first had a shorter crop of dark blue hair, reminding him briefly of Hinata-chan's for a moment before studying the brunette walking next to her. She was taller than he was, but unlike the students around them, carried herself in away that indicated some formal hand to hand training.

Naruto couldn't help but to frown now. "Who _are_ you people…?"

"Sorry we're late, but Usagi here dosed off," Naruto didn't miss the thumb the black haired girl jabbed his way, prompting the taller brunette to giggle while her partner rolled her eyes.

_Usagi?_ Naruto rolled the name around on his tongue. It felt weird. But…

"I honestly don't see how you get away with it, Usagi-chan," The dark blue haired girl shook her head, but relented with a light smile. "We had best…"

"…_And he was like that when Hatake-san found him?"_

"_From the sound of it. Apparently Naruto uses that jutsu as a prank… Why in the world he would use such a frivolous technique in the heat of combat is baffling."_

"_Not simply frivolous. That's not an illusion. It's completely real. Not even my jutsu is that real, but he… she is... Right down to the bones and tissue..."_

"…at the crown arcade, okay?" Naruto shook his head, trying to concentrate on the tall girl's words.

"I'm not so sure," The other replied. "I have studying to do and—"

"Honestly, you study enough, Ami." His black haired guide balked. "All work and no play; or something like that, right, Bunny?"

She had turned to glance back at him, leaving Naruto with the clear impression that he was 'Bunny'. While the advice was fundamentally sound, it didn't lessen the weirdness of the situation one iota. "Uh, guess so."

The girl known as Ami shook her head, turning a skeptical glance back upon her friend. "Using Usagi doesn't exactly strengthen your case, Rei."

Naruto was left with the distinct impression that he should have been insulted by that remark.

"Okay, okay…" The girl named Rei chortled, but pressed onward. "That doesn't make it any less true."

"Point taken," Ami shrugged, conceded. Naruto's attention wandered as the idle chatter continued, most notably to the streets. Were those… _automobiles?_ Naruto squinted at the passing constructs. Of course, he had seen them before, but usually not in such quantity, nor going so fast. He was hardly an engineer, but these vehicles were a far cry from the piecemeal clockwork types that he had observed during his travels outside the village. In fact they seemed quite—

_Beep-Beep!_

The Blond's attention was pulled from the street just beyond the school property to Ami, who was opening up what looked to be a makeup kit… Which was weird, as the action seemed to put the other two girls on edge as well. Ami herself now wore a look of consternation as she flipped open the compact and scrutinized the contents. "Dark energy spike, three kilometers west… The shopping district."

"Always the shopping district…" The brunette mumbled, affecting a put-out look; then looked around, suddenly aware of her surroundings. "Looks like that corner is clear."

The other two girls nodded in some unspoken agreement, turning to the aforementioned corner. The sudden change in attitude set all sorts of warnings off in Naruto's head, all but compelling him to follow the girls. _What the hell is going on?_ _They were all sappy and cheerful one moment and now it's like they're getting ready for battle…_ Naruto rounded the corner, finding the girls taking one last look around them. The area was clear of bystanders.

"Look, either somebody tell me what's—"

The black haired girl took a stance. "_Mars Power, Make up!_"

Naruto's eyeballs were nearly liquefied in their sockets as the girl suddenly exploded into a ball of pink energy, flash vaporizing her school uniform and replacing it with a tight white top, red frilly skirt and—

"_Jupiter Power, Make Up!"_

"_Mercury Power, Make Up!"_

The blond staggered back as more power washed over him; the two remaining girls exploding into their own pink balls of energy. Naruto attempted to scrub the bright pink spot from his field of vision, noting both the Ami girl and unnamed brunette were now wearing nearly identical uniforms; the only variation in them being in the color of the ribbon along their neck line and the color of their skirts. Naruto simply stood there, gaping.

_What the hell kind of jutsu was this?_

One by one, they turned to him. Staring. The girl named Rei spoke. "Let's go, Moon. Your turn."

"Huh?" Naruto's reply was about as intelligent as one could expect given the situation.

"Right! The sooner we dust these Youma, the sooner we can relax," The tall girl piped.

"I'm reading six individual signals now," Ami consulted the compact, then looked up at Naruto expectantly. They were _all_ looking at him expectantly, in fact.

"What?"

A whispering began to encroach on his consciousness.

_Say it…_

_Say the words..._

_Say them…_

_You know…_

_Feel the power…_

_Your birthright…_

"Say what? I don't know any words!" Naruto looked around frantically for the source of the whispering as the girls stared silently.

_Remember who you are…_

_Say the words…_

_Your sworn duty…_

_The words…_

_Your heritage…_

_Remember…_

"Mrrr.." The sound seemed to force itself unnaturally from his mouth. Naruto could feel the words, waiting to be spoken. He didn't know them, but they were there on the very tip of his tongue. "Moon…"

The girls continued to stare, their intensity now bordering on frightening. A sharp needle of pain began to drive itself through Naruto's skull, and he clutched raggedly at his blond crop of hair in agony. "Moon…. I.. don't…"

The needling pain exploded like stars across his vision, forcing his eyes to clamp shut. "Can't… Don't… I DON'T KNOW ANY DAMN WORDS!"

The world flashed white with pain, then ceased abruptly. Naruto's eyes flew open. He blinked. Then again. The girls were gone. The entire school was gone, in fact, replaced by the hospital room he had been expecting from the very outset.

Tsunade and Shizune stood at the foot of his bed, staring back at him. After a moment of silent observation, he watched a slight smile form on the Fifth.

"Welcome back to the land of the live Naruto-kun…" The smile took on a hint of mischief. "Or should I say '_chan_'?"

* * *

**Crapspace Notes-**  
This one was pretty much written on a whim. Naruto as Usagi, Sailor Moon... Basically all the fun stuff that makes you want to gag. The basic premise is that just because the girls saved the Earth doesn't mean they didn't bite the bullet in the process. And now it's time for them to awaken once again in order to finish the job they started. Besides, how can you say no to a chibi Kyuubi magical advisor?


	4. Ryogaification

**Ryogaification**  
By Ozzallos

**A **double axe carved through air, taking a tiny sliver of black hair with it as it sought to remove the tiger stripped bandanna from the eternally lost martial artist's head. This, of course, would have split it clean in half if not for the boy's lightning reflexes and keen sense of survival. The wielder snarled at this turn of events, trying desperately to angle the head-splitting implement downward, but instead managed to open a gaping hole in its own defense. Ryoga Hibiki considered the hole for a split second before a small fanged grin crossed his face. Had his green scaled, semi-humanoid opponent noticed the grin, it might have made some move to extricate itself from the situation instead of producing a hostile hiss, but it didn't, and Ryoga shifted his hand from a fist to a single index finger, pointing it into the lizard-mans' shining armored torso. Even if his reptilian aggressor had recognized the significance of the finger, it probably would have dismissed the technique outright. After all, the Bakusai Tenketsu usable only against non-living constructs, and _it_ certainly didn't fall into that category.

Unfortunately, the shiny ceremonial armor it wore _did_.

The finger touched its distorted counterpart reflecting in the armor's polished surface and instantly shattered the plated sheet, causing it to rip through its less durable owner with ease. The unbound axe flew off into the surrounding melee, imbedding itself into another encroaching lizard-man while the one perforated by shrapnel fell to Ryoga's feet in a bloody heap.

Two down, fifty more to go.

A redhead blurred to his right, taking down two more of the humanoid lizards in a flurry of martial arts devastation. Ryoga snarled as his next three opponents closed on him. "Dammit, Ranma, I'm tired of seeing hell because of you!"

"As if you had anything better to do!" The redhead didn't even spare him a glance with the retort as her fist blurred, ruthlessly pulverizing the combatant in front of her. A broad sword flashed at her back and she rolled away, leaving the Tensu Amagurikan victim falling to the earth as the new opponent tracked her through the evasion. Ranma recovered from the tumble and caught its scaled arm on the downward stroke and shoved a palm into its elbow, snapping the joint like a twig. Another took the lizard man's place and she cracked its kneecap with a hard snap-kick.

"I _could_ be getting lost! On a beach!" Ryoga hollered above the din of battle, finally retrieving the umbrella he had let loose somewhere near the beginning of the engagement. It had cut through the lizard ranks, breaking their discipline but failing to achieve its return arc as it encountered line after line of armor. He smiled grimly and pulled its folded red length from the ground, swatting at an encroaching reptile. The deceptively light implement slammed into its breast plate and transferred a generous chunk of kinetic energy into the body therein, crumpling steel, breaking bone and causing the scaled combatant to fly back into the melee.

Ranma simply rolled her eyes as she ducked beneath the swing of a pole arm. The overextended arc gave her more than ample opportunity to step in and disarm the attacker while using his body as a shield to intercept the spear eagerly looking to impale itself on her. The shining razor tip found her improvised barrier with a meaty 'thunk', and her lizard's eyes went wide in shock. The armor covering his back had directed most of the thrust away from what she could only assume were vital organs, but the original wielder had put more than enough power behind the blow. Lizard boy would be lucky to walk away with only a collapsed lung, let alone massive internal bleeding. Fortunately, that wasn't any of her concern and she kicked the expendable lizard shield away, pointing an open palm downrange at the spear chucker.

"As if you could ever get us lost anywhere like that! _Moko Takabisha!"_

Blue confidence blazed out of the outstretched palm in the form of a massive sphere, covering twenty feet of battlefield instantly. It was the last thing the spear bearer saw as hardened ki not only plowed into him like a freight train, but the three compatriots behind him.

Ryoga stepped into the vacuum created by the ki attack and began swinging the red umbrella wildly, taking supreme advantage of the shock created by Ranma's technique. Four lizard men soldiers went down nearly instantaneously while two more were sucked into an explosion of earthen stone. A bandanna came off his head and a seventh fell at the redhead's back. She nodded silent thanks and the Lost Boy returned the acknowledgement with a retort. "Just you wait. I'll get lost to a _nice_ beach next time!"

"As long as it isn't those damn Aztec temples again." Ranma closed ranks with the boy and the two fell into precision movement. Ryoga began to deal the heavy blows as Ranma dance around him, peppering anything the boy missed with lightning strikes. The pigtailed girl faded out sight for an instant and reappeared behind one of the larger reptilian soldiers, dumping high powered pinpoint strikes into its armored spine. The plate seemed to hold and her target remained standing, but only for a moment. While the metallic shell was designed to ablate casual strikes, it in no way protected its wearer from ethereal spikes of ki. Pressure points were hit and vital organs damaged in spite of the protection.

The scaled monster fell.

"And I still don't know how you keep finding those things!" She balked, flowing around the collapsing body to pick out her next target.

"I said BACK OFF!" Ryoga roared at a particularly annoying lizard that would try to lance him with a spear, only to run off as the boy turned on him. As soon as his attention was diverted by another of his lizard brethren, the stalker would return to repeat the process all over. This time he took the full force of Ryoga's backhanded umbrella in the face, pirouetting three times in place before collapsing bonelessly to the earth. The Hibiki growled as another filled the gap.

This was getting _old._

They had originally gone into the backwater valley with six of their own, including himself, Ranma, Mousse, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kuno. Everybody involved knew what to expect. After all, they were old pros at rescuing Akane by now. They walked into the ancient Chinese mountain fortress like they owned the place and were predictably greeted by its layered defenses. First, there was the lumbering stone golem featuring six scimitar-bearing arms and a grumpy disposition. Kuno was a shoo-in for that one. Next came the agile pair of Twin Monkey Gods who made the mistake of insulting Shampoo. Last they saw Mousse, edged weaponry was positively raining down around his opponents. Ukyo took the Dancing Jester of Despair after drawing straws with Shampoo, who in turn went on to duel a giant snake-thing.

That was all about twenty minutes ago.

And now there were lizard men. All over the goddamn place.

_So much for flipping the coin over who got to rescue Akane,_ Ryoga scoffed to himself as another combatant crumbled beneath his martial arts devastation. To his surprise, this particular lizard was made of sterner stuff and fought to regain its foot even after hitting the dirt. That effort was promptly ended by his redheaded compatriot, who used his target as a landing pad upon concluding a particularly painful aerial combination on another reptile only a few feet away.

"Say, you getting bored?"

Ryoga Hibiki considered the crouching girl and her lizard mat for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah. Time to wrap this up."

"Dual Technique," Ranma's expression brightened with a roguish grin. "Try and keep up this time." With that, she spun away from the boy and drew to the full measure of her diminutive height. "HEY YA DAMBASS LIZARDS! YO MOMMA'S SNAKE SKIN BOOT!" The Lizard contingent instantly halted and every beady reptilian eye locked onto the red head. Ryoga simply shook his head, massaging his forehead with slight embarrassment. Ranma took another deep breath. "YOUR MOMMA'S SOOO FAT—"

**RAARRRRRAARRRrrrRRR!**

"Whoops." Ranma's eyes widened as the entire host bellowed in rage, surging forth into their position. She took a quick glance over her shoulder at her partner. "Time to go."

The redhead was gone in a flash and it took Ryoga a full moment to react himself before chasing after the girl as she weaved her way through the homicidal mass of scales, talons and edged weaponry. One of the beasts leapt into his path and he declined the engagement, opting to use its head as a springboard as he did his best to keep the bobbing red mane in sight as they both traced a pattern through the mob. It was a pattern he knew well and he kept pace behind her as the army of reptiles trailed in to form…

…A spiral.

A _huge_ one. Ranma skidded into the center, and it was all the Hibiki could do to keep his own ki clamped down as he considered the devastation they were about to unleash on the scaly mass of lizard men. He slid to a halt next to Ranma less than a second later and she favored him with a feral grin as she prepared to push cold ki skyward. He settled in close to her, pressing into the meager space the dragon's eye would afford them. They both shared a mutual look and the girl nodded.

"Now."

"_BAKUSAI TENKETSU!"_

"_HIYRU SHOTEN HA!"

* * *

_

"No, really. Three hundred and fifty brothers and sisters if you can believe it."

**A**kane Tendo leaned forward in her push red velvet seat, taking the new information in stride as a finger curled around a fine china tea cup. It seemed outrageous taken at first glance, but then one had to remember that it was The Lizard King sitting across from her, and her biology classes did bear out the fact that some reptiles did have unusually large clutches. Steam curled about her nose and she took a sip of the green tea residing in the intricately decorated cup.

"Sometimes it's all I can do to manage my two." Akane returned conversationally while mentally forcing herself not to fidget. It wasn't the fact that she had been kidnapped by reptilian royalty and forced to spend three days in his company. Nor was it the fact that she was surrounded by his halberd bearing elite guard clad in full ceremonial plate armor. It wasn't even that she was expected to marry the well spoken green and gold scaled Lizard King. While not at the top of her to-do list, she did have to admit he was rather civilized, well groomed and generally pleasant company in spite of the circumstances.

No, what was causing the fidgeting was the dress she now wore, which had all the consistency of silk toilet paper and a cut that barely left consideration for modesty. The neckline was low and the dress hem was high, which all but assured her that the tailor was a pervert by nature, reptilian or no. All in all, it was par for the course and she settled. When it was all said and done, she'd add yet another fancy, yet highly impractical dress to her collection.

Akane smiled and forced her attention back onto the Lizard man who appeared rather well adjusted to the finery of his own wardrobe "How did you manage with that many siblings?"

"Oh, I ate them." The sipping stopped and Akane set the tea back onto the shiny gold leaf table before she could spit out the remainder. He continued as if the topic were quite innocuous. "Of course, there was no way the throne could support a brood that size, let alone the succession feuds it would instigate. Besides, there was tradition to consider."

"Of… Of course." Akane gulped, managing to keep a straight face through the conversation. Revulsion aside, she was quite proud of herself. Back in the early days she might have actually spit the beverage across the table in shock. Not that it helped her come up with another trival topic of conversation in the interim, a minor detail that was solved for her as a scaled guard rushed to his side, quickly bowing before hissing into the King's ear. Or rather the side of his head, Akane revised, noting the placement of the reptile's audio membrane. The Reptilian King hissed something back and nodded, sending the soldier rushing off.

The Monarch pushed his tea forward and away, standing up. "It would seem that your friends are rather persistent. No matter. They will be made to see that this is union sanctioned by the gods themselves."

_Don't let Kuno hear you say that_, Akane snorted mentally as the King turned on a taloned heel. He motioned to a pair of his elite and they stepped forward, receiving his hissing instructions to form up around the entrance, when-

**BOOM!**

Akane Tendo's eyes widened as a massive bulge imprinted itself into the huge bronze double doors that stood closed from across the reptile throne. The budge glowed orange momentarily but held, fading back to a shade darker than the remaining door. Akane's consort chuckled to himself.

"That door is pure bronze, crafted by the finest royal artisans. They will not gain-"

**BOOM! BOOM!**

Two more immense shocks reverberated throughout the room with the next impacts. Another pair of indentations now marked the double doors, both glowing orange for a few seconds longer than the last before fading.

The Lizard King arched an eyebrow or its scaled equivalent. "Impressive." He noted, turning back to Akane. "Futile, but quite impressive. Once your friends calm down, I will be more than happy to allow them-"

**ShrrriiieeeKWHAAAM!**

Bronze plate suddenly parted like paper as the doors were forcibly ripped from their hinges, blasted into little more than shrapnel as the Lizard King's elite guard took the fragmentation on the chin. Their front line crumpled and died under the metal storm, carving through their ranks like a bronze scythe. They fell back under the sudden and brutal assault, giving themselves room to regroup as their attackers cleared the cloud of debris. It was a slight surprise to find that the strike force who had just disposed of a third of their brethren numbered two. The pair of teens stepped through the cloud and into the large throne room, all but ignoring the force before them.

The diminutive redheaded girl considered her banndannaed partner with a slightly put out look. "Show off."

"Light weight." The fanged boy retorted, stepping over a body.

The put out look existed for another moment before being replaced by a shrug. "Okay, so it's a useful technique. Damned if I want to become boulder target practice learning it, though."

"Could say the same thing about sticking my hands in a fire." Ryoga returned, causing the redhead to chuckle as the pair advanced.

"True." With that, she turned her attention back to the lizard men, their King and the dark blue haired girl beside him. "C'mon, 'Kane. Vacation's over. Let's go home."

The Tendo's face morphed from surprise to scowl. Not even a comment about her dress. "What, you think I'm here because I enjoy it?"

"She is here as decreed by fate!" The Lizard King proclaimed. A smaller lizard ran up to him with a sheathed sword and the monarch grabbed its hilt, pulling the gleaming edge free of its leather confines. With glistening fangs and a snarl, he raised the blade high into the air. "I Acrchimondius the Eighth of the Scaled Throne proclaim it thus!"

Ranma simply rolled her eyes and Ryoga shook his head next to her. "Trust us. You _want_ to let her go."

"Do not force the issue. I should hate to split your bodies before the very eyes of my bride." The Reptilian King shrugged of his purple cloak with stylistic flare and brought his sword to bear on them for dramatic effect.

"Oh, please." Ranma scoffed. "We just went through a stone golem, big snake, two monkies, a clown and fifty lizards. I mean, look. We can fight some more, but aren't you gonna at least offer me a cure for my curse in exchange for Akane's hand in marriage?"

The Lizard King cocked his head, considering the offer. "As a matter of fact, my bride did mention your perverted curse. And I do believe I have just such an artifact in my possession." He scratched his scaled dewflap thoughtfully. "Jusenkyo, correct?"

"The one and only." Ranma smiled dryly, then nudged Ryoga. "Told ya so."

"Ah yes." The King nodded, then hissed to his sword bearer, who instantly scampered off into an adjacent room. "Akane Tendo for a cure to your curse. I believe we can come to some sort of arrangement."

"What!" Akane yelped, glaring at the redhead. "You can't be serious!"

"Sure I am." Ranma shrugged. The line of elites parted to allow them access to the King and his throne. "Your kidnappers always have cures and I'm always forced ta destroy 'em or somthin'. 'Bout time I cashed in on at least one of em."

The sword bearer returned, holding a large golden scepter featuring a jewel encrusted ball at the tip. He handed it to the Lizard King who inspected it as Ranma and Ryoga stepped forward. "The Scepter of Transversal. All one needs to do is hold the artifact and utter the words 'Klaatu Verata Nictu' to activate its curse removal magic."

Ranma cleared the final steps to the throne as Ryoga waited on the main floor. She smiled gratefully at the lizard and took the scepter from his talons even as Akane continued her glare daggers into her. The Saotome twirled the scepter like a baton through her fingers, testing its weight. The redhead nodded. "Oh yeah. This will come in handy."

"Then we have a deal-"

_WHAM!_

Akane barely saw the strike, but the result was obvious as the lizard king flew backwards into his plush throne, nearly destroying the highly decorated oaken wood chair from shock. She watched as the king slumped bonelessly into it, then turned incredulously on Ranma, who was staring at the now deformed Scepter of Transversal. Her fiancé studied the implement and the ninety degree bend it now featured along its length.

"Darn. Destroyed another cure." She deadpanned and shrugged, nonchalantly tossing the useless magical item back over her shoulder. It clattered along across the marble floor. "C'mon, 'Kane. Let's blow this joint."

A stunned Akane followed the redhead to join Ryoga at the base of the stairs where he stood off against the King's elite guard, though it was obvious that they were considerably less confident with their king snoring unconsciously on the throne. They backed up another couple steps as the girl who had bested their king joined the already formidable Lost Boy.

"We're leavin'" Ranma gestured to the remaining guard with a bright smile that belied the devastation wrought in her wake. "Thank the king there for all the practice when he wakes up."

Ryoga nodded with the sentiment and fell in behind Ranma as they made their way back through the shattered bronze doors. Akane could only stare as they traced back though the violent entrance. "I can't believe you would use me as a diversion!"

"Aw c'mon." Ranma sighed as they cleared the ruined doors and stepped out into daylight where Tatewake Kuno, Xiam Pu, Mu Zsu and Ukyo Kuonji stood conversing pleasantly. "Didn't hurt any and we were getting tired of fighting the lizards anyway."

"Ah, the fiery Tigress emerges from the lair of the beast unharmed, as I knew she would!" Tatewake prattled upon noticing the trio depart the palace. Conversation stopped in favor of smiles and curiosity. "So fortunate that you should do so with the pigtailed goddess as well!"

"Hey Ranchan!"

"Airen!"

"_Didn't hurt_?" Akane fumed, stopping short. The group's pleasantries faded into uncertainty as the Tendo's anger continued to build. "Well thank _you_ Mister Consideration! And you didn't have to hit Archi-kun so hard! I almost had him convinced to let me go anyway!"

"Archi-kun?" Ukyo blinked.

"Take violent girl three days to convince?" Shampoo cocked her head, chewing on the idea.

"Who else is gonna waste the time to rescue ya?" Ranma retorted and Ryoga simply shook his head with the ill-thought statement. _Foot meet mouth. Mouth, foot._ "Why should I be rescuing some uncute… uh.."

"Waste of time, hmmm?" Akane's eyes narrowed to slits, causing Ranma to wince as she realized the full import of her original statement. "At least I know _Ryoga_ is a gallant gentleman." With that statement, she pulled the blinking lost boy closer and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "Thank YOU for coming to my rescue. Unlike SOME people. Maybe _you_ should be my fiancée _instead_."

She had meant it as a joke. A barb with which to prod her on again off again fiancée into reacting. At least that's how it _should_ have worked. What should have occurred and what _did_ were two entirely separate things as Akane watched Ranma's eyes widen with the kiss then settle into a venomous glare. Akane pulled away, slightly startled at the intensity and the redhead held it for another moment before turning on a heel and storming off across the palace grounds.

"Aiyah…" Shampoo sighed at the scene, staring at Ranma's back as she walked off.

"Dammit, Akane!" Ukyo scowled at her, then turned to Ryoga, shaking her head. "You had better go calm her down, jackass." Ryoga nodded at the statement that sounded more like a threat than anything else, and was gone after the redhead without further prompting.

"A tragedy to be sure!" Kuno suffused, shaking his head. "The gods must assuredly weep to see such beauty part company under strained emotion!"

Even Akane was left in wonder now. "What… What just happened?"

Shampoo, simply looked at her, then to the irritable Kuoji who looked back silently. Of course, they knew what had happened. The girl had just tried to play on Ranma's rivalry with Ryoga, only to have it backfire spectacularly in her face. It wouldn't have been the first time Akane had played that card unconsciously, but after all they had been through as rivals, it filled both girls with a certain amount of unholy glee to watch fail in such an epic manner.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes-**  
File this one under 'too easy'. Well, that and it's sub-header 'done to death.' Basically, we'd have had Ranma and Ryoga getting lost together over the course of a fic and slowly growing attached to one another in a way that makes the Knights of the True Gender (heretoafter known as the **KotTG**) all squiky inside. I've often said I love a challenge and treading over well WELL worn ground just couldn't save this fic. But don't worry, Knights. I have something truly vile to replace it. Besides, if you read this far, you're a closet -chan fan anyway. Just roll with it and come to the dark side. We have cookies.


	5. Serenity SM Ranma concept

**Serenity Concept**  
By Ozzallos

**W**hat to do?

Tendrils of micro voltage flashed out from the core and began tracing along miles of monofilament circuitry to answer just that question. The insubstantial lines electricity began to probe peripheral systems along crystalline pathways, checking as to whether the sum of its parts were still whole and intact. Milliseconds later, the answer became obvious and the controlling intelligence was satisfied; No damage had been incurred during its digital slumber.

With the bulk of its integrity assured, the core dealt protocols out across its internal network, bringing higher functions to life. This process was by far more intricate than the simply boot self test, occupying a whole five point seven seconds of the its three high density holographic central processors, while terabyte databases were decompressed into primary memory. The torrent of information settled into place, quite literally resurrecting the construct whose duty was to watch over the Earth's last, best hope for survival. Eris smiled from within her digital domain.

_Open for business._

With that thought, she opened her data ports and began routing external telemetry through herself, the most important of which resided on band 8804X-005. _Those_ were the stasis pod data channels. Eris nodded mentally as the links were established. All nine pods were green and their occupants nominal. Not bad for over half a century on ice. Secure in the knowledge that the primary mission objectives were safe, the artificial intelligence turned her attention toward her own base integrity and the external environment. Internally, Eris had faired decidedly well, suffering only an eight point oh-one percent loss toward systems degradation. Externally, however…

Externally, well, things had gone to shit.

There was no other way to put it, really, as the construct polled the reading for the twentieth in under a second. But then, she had been expecting this; expecting this for the last _five hundred_ years. _This_ was the apocalypse, the extinction event that brought doom to civilizations around the world. The data continued to flow in… Fifteen percent sunlight. High atmospheric sulfur-methane content. Sixty below on-site. Zero point zero percent vegetation coverage, likewise anything that could be termed as life. Winds gusting to two-twelve kph.

In other words, a veritable habit for humanity.

Had Eris a head, she would have shook it in disappointment. Either way, it wasn't her concern. The occupants of the inner sanctum were, however, and she considered the operational timetable. They had slept well into the target revival timeframe, so now was as a good time as any. With the slightest mental nudge, the AI activated another set of protocols and sent them into data channel 8804X-005. With the thaw command line fired downrange, Eris turned her attention to the next matter of importance and began to coax more power out of the Elerium reactor that was her primary source of power.

_Phase shift generators coming hot._

_Temporal anchors locked._

_Unfolding dimensional fields one through twelve._

_Maximizing power output at one point twenty one terawatts. _

_Spatial grid adjusting for local topography._

_Discharging field. Standby._

_Turnover in three… two… one…_

Reality distorted across a wind blasted sheet of pure white, causing the darkened sky above to waver in and out. Lightning shrieked, it's glow bending as the laws of physics were made to dance and twist to an unsung tune while mass within the field began to solidify into an ancient structure whose refined lines and linage completely at odds with the frozen wasteland beyond. Reality wavered one last time and the structure finally materialized atop the location that had once been known as the Juuban ward of Tokyo, Japan.

Eris smiled from within and looked out upon the glacial devastation. The Cherry Hill Shrine stood upon the Earth once more.

* * *

"I still say they ain't nothin' but a bunch of weeds."

Malcome Renolds cast a sidelong glance at the goateed brute and frowned, as if the comment had somehow offended his own dubious sensibilities. "Shrubs, Jayne. Legit cargo. Could be little girl's dollies for all I care, but its honest money. Keeps us off the radar."

Jayne scratched at his chin, silently trying to reconcile the merits of transporting such mundane cargo as opposed to something more exciting… And profitable. The mercenary reached out over the cargo bay catwalk, plucking a broad leaf from one of the higher reaching branches. Mal could swear he saw the gears turning behind his face as it scrunched up into an unpleasant expression.

"Still don't see what a planet full of whores would want with a bunch of weeds."

"I hear they're aphrodisiacs." Both men turned to the eager female voice to find the resident engineers smiling round face peering into the cargo bay from the starboard hatch. "And they smell real pretty too!"

"Aphrodesihuh?" A total lack of comprehension floated across Jayne Cobbs face, replacing the unpleasant expression with one of concentration. Mal was hardpressed to say which he preferred more.

It also almost made a smile come to his own face as he considered the can of worms the brunette had just opened. "Aphrodisiacs. Helps them perform better in bed."

It took a moment for enlightenment to cross the hired gun's visage. "You mean it makes whores hornier?"

"That's about the size of it, Jayne." The captain nodded as he stepped past him and up to the hatch Kaylee currently occupied, pulling her all the way into the bay in order to get by.

Wide eyes of disbelief continued to track him through the hatch, prompting the disgusted young woman to comment in a reproving tone. "Well that's a rude way to put it."

Malcome nodded again. "Just so, but you're the one who brought it up and now you're the one who gets to make sure he don't pick our cargo bare before we reach Shanti."

"But Captain!" Her horrified plea was cut off as the hatch swung closed behind him, leaving Kaylee and Jayne to stare at one another in an uncomfortable silence that simply wasn't meant to last.

"So they make whores hornier?"

River Tam continued to study the dinosaur that sat atop her her helm, as if its very existence defied logic. In some ways, it did. Like the ship that carried it, the plastic toy had survived countless elicit cargo runs, boarding operations and as many fire fights.

Even if its previous owner had not.

And there she was, the eyes and ears of one Firefly class medium haul vessel, not to mention the new keeper of the dinosaur. Would she meet the same fate as Nash? No. Hers would be vastly different. Would the dinosaur? River studied the pitted plastic figure with greater scrutiny. Possibly, though its path was unpredictable and twisted through many frayed and darkened ends. Doubt surrounded it, but for now, its course was certain.

"The Dragon…"

"I wouldn't fancy that much of a dragon, young one." River turned around to find the captain of Serenity steeping up though the bridge corridor and into the compartment she now resided. "Now would I let Zoë find you playin' with it either. She's bound to get a might worked up."

The pilot cocked her head curiously, considering Mal's words as if they held some deeper meaning. His statement held her attention a moment longer before she turned back to the instrument bank and the view beyond her canopy, presently framing the deep blue jewel known as Shanti.

"The Moon rises."

Mal arched an eyebrow at the cryptic verse, but dismissed it, having long since become use to the girls non-squeltures. She'd come plain sooner or later if it were something important. "Be that as it may, how long until we hit atmo?"

"Two days." The girl replied directly, snapping out of her seemingly trance-like state. The captain grunted, appearing to accept the liquidity of her mood without a second thought. Internally, however… Best not think on that too hard, he decided, else he realize that putting a marginally sane experimental teenage weapon at the helm of his ship wasn't one of his better ideas.

"Should be a cakewalk, but keep eyes out." Mal advised, if only to reassure himself. "We're legit today, but that not mean some over-eager Alliance gunboat crew been spelled that."

River nodded her confirmation. "We're not the ship they're looking for."

The certainty of her proclamation barely caused him pause this time. "And I not be mindin' long as it stays that way."

Mal gave her a light slap on the shoulder and left River and the bridge to their own devices, whereupon she began to focus on the toy dinosaur once more.

"But we will be…"

* * *

**Crapspace Notes-**  
One of the more exotic xovers I could have possibly engaged in. Ranma ported to the future either via Soul of Ice or the magical compact ala the clone arc. Eventual hook up with the senshi. Maybe some Mal-Setsuna action along the way and a massive Brown Coat uprising to reclaim Old Earth, since healed from its wounds. Problem? mainly that was divorcing Ranma from his own canon, and if you've read my rules of fanfic failure, that doesn't sit well. Or bring them all forward. bleh. So I posted it here instead so i could savor your mage tears.


	6. Skuld

**Skuld**  
By Ozzallos

**I**t was a new day and Skuld was understandably excited. The studying was over, the tests had been past and her on-the-job training was complete. Now the fruits of her labor sat on an elegant, floating table top before her and she twiddled with barely containable excitement. The focal point of her excitement was a pearly white antique phone with beautiful gold trim, and it sat there waiting for its divine purpose to be fulfilled. The long raven haired teen didn't have long to wait. The phone rang and she smiled, picking up the receiver gently.

"Goddess Relief Hotline, I'll be right there to process your request!"

There was a sputtering on the other end, but Skuld paid it no mind and set the receiver back down with a click, terminating the connection. She swiveled her floating chair away from the table and called a transparent Yggradsil interface window into existence and downloaded the file of one Ranma Saotome. The black haired martial artist's picture appeared in the upper right hand corner of the window, accompanied by a second, smaller picture of a red headed girl.

Gender curse, Skuld noted absently as she sifted through the details of Ranma's life. Let's see… Born 1971, Tokyo, Japan… Consummate martial artist… An impressive score on the good alignment curve… The little goddess paused, eyes widening. Defeated Saffron, Phoenix God category two, second class March 15th, 1990? Well, this was going to be one interesting candidate for a wish, Skuld thought with a mixture of amazement and dread. She briefly considered consulting her older sisters Belldandy and Urd before coming to the realization that the last thing she needed was sister Urd heckling her on how to handle her first live wish. Skuld nodded and banished the window from existence.

With the standard background check completed, it was time to get to work.

* * *

**T**he giant spatula cleaved the earth at Ranma and Shampoo's feet with only inches to spare between either. On one hand the action saved the pigtailed martial artist from a humiliating glomp at the hands of one overly affectionate Amazon. On the other, another fiancée had just thrown down, and that was never a good thing. Shampoo's attention snapped from her love toy to the Okanomyaki Master perched high on the Tendo dojo wall.

"Keep your damn hands off my Ran-chan, kitten girl!"

Shampoo glowered and the battle was joined just as another series of edged weapons arced in from a different angle, causing Ranma to vacate the patch real estate he had been standing on. Five short swords imbedded themselves next to Ukyo Kuonji's giant spatula and Ranma turned to face his next opponent. The Amazon's were out in force today.

"Release your claim on my Shampoo, you enemy of women!" the raven haired boy cried, his white robes flapping in the wind. A clicking sound issued from his oversized sleeves and five more blades sprang forth from the left arm while a battle axe popped from the right. Ranma silently thanked god that he would suffer a –8 penalty to his dexterity rolls for using a weapon in his off hand. Ukyo flipped into recover her combat spatula followed close behind by Shampoo who was already wielding a curved semitar. Steel shrieked at his back and Mousse charged.

"Hold thee, fowl sorcerer! Your magicks shall no longer bind the fair Akane and the vibrant pigtailed goddess!"

Kuno, the tactical portion of Ranma's mind reported as five short swords and an axe sliced through the air above his head. The martial artist didn't even bother to retaliate, instead opting to pluck Mousse's glasses from his face before disengaging entirely. The Amazon boy flailed around wildly and Ranma dodged the incoming bokken with ease. He lightly hopped up on to the wooden implement and used it as a springboard to plant an easy foot onto the face of Furikan's Blue Thunder. Even as he went down a cackling laughter erupted from across the Tendo courtyard like some insane spirit called forth through the blood sacrifice of her brother. Enter Kodachi Kuno, and Ranma was wishing he had a surplus gas mask handy.

"Ranma-sama!" She called out with a lilt to her voice that belied the instability of her mental state. "Leave these peasants and dine with me!"

Several things could be said about Ranma Saotome, among which was that he was not much of a planner. Sure, he was a martial arts prodigy, but if you wanted something planned and executed by the numbers well in advance, the last person you would turn to was Ranma. Of course, that would be a horrible waste of the young martial artist's talents since he was an absolute genius at spur of the moment improvisation and he demonstrated that mastery now.

"Mousse!" The raven haired Amazon whirled around to Ranma's voice. "I'm over here across the yard, baka!" Of course, he was in no such place, but Kodachi was and the boy locked onto her blurred visage with myopic tenacity.

"For Shampooooo!" A steady stream of lethal weaponry poured across the yard and the deranged gymnast retaliated with her chemical and biological arsenal. Ten seconds later, both combatants were neutralized. Ranma watched their unconscious forms crumple to the earth and began to run down the mental checklist. Shampoo and Ukyo were occupied, the Kunos unconscious, likewise Mousse… That means Ryoga should be making his entrance anytime—

"NOW WHERE AM I?"

-now.

Ranma stared at the Lost boy as he plowed through the Tendo property wall and shook his head. Nabiki would be leaning on him extra hard this month. Not that any of it was his fault, but the pig tailed martial artist was by far the most convenient and accessable target.

Ryoga Hibiki recovered his senses and stared at the scene surrounding Ranma with a sigh, walking over to his part time rival. "You never get tired of this, do you?"

The Saotome arched an irritated eyebrow. "Not like I ask for it, ya know."

Ryoga nodded, acknowledging the fact he knew all too well. The guy was as prone to random chaos as he was misdirection. He looked around Ranma, noting the individual combatants. "Akane's not here?"

"Nah. Inside."

"Probably for the best." Ryoga remarked, earning him a nod from his rival. Ukyo and Shampoo brushed by the pair as edged weapons clashed off one another. The lost boy frowned. "Now why can't I get girls to fight over me like that?"

"No sweat." Ranma deadpanned.. "Pick the one you want. She's your fiancée."

"Not on your life." Ryoga chuckled, scanning the the fallen bodies of Kodachi, Tatewake and Mousse on the ground. "Looks like your warm-up is out of the way. Wanna spare?"

The suggestion lightened Ranma's mood considerably. Better than stand around watching Ukyo and Shampoo go at it. "Sounds good. Ready when you are."

Ryoga took a few steps back and took a deep breath. "RANMA, I'VE SEEN HELL BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Formalities dispensed with, the main event got under way.

* * *

**T**he Goddess of the Future popped out of the Tendo koi pond without so much as a ripple, landing lightly on the grassy surface around it. Skuld had only a moment to consider her mission before the world around her came into focus. What she saw before her was nothing short of a warzone, and she rechecked her coordinance to make sure she had arrived in Tokyo, not some third world battlefield. Two girls- obviously exausted –were locked in the blur of combat while another girl clad in a black leotard fought off a white robbed boy, who kept yelling about hair care products. Another boy lay unconscious in a small crater, broken wooden sword in hand. The grounds around the compound had definitely seen their better days, with shiruken imbedded here and there, giants holes…

What the hell was happening—? Two more blurs shot by her and she had to adjust her vision two track the two combatants who were hammering at one another with blows no ordinary human had any right to produce. The one in the yellowish tunic she didn't recognize. The pigtaild boy she did. He flipped back, disengaging from the fanged boy and launched an energy blast down at his opponent.

Soul energy? Skuld gaped as the fanged boy tended to his defense, pushing his finger into the ground and blasting rock skyward. The sphere of power found the rocks and it's energy vaporized against them instead of the boy, who instantly retook the offensive with a series of punishing plows that could have brought down a house. Ranma landed and joind the yellow shirt in battle demonstrating his mastery of aerial combat. Air pressure slapped across Skuld as they traded punches, ruffling her long black hair with each concussion.

The goddess was at a total loss now. Should she wait until they're done? Interrupt the battle? Who was at fault here? Did she punish them—? her concentration was broken as a wind-borne whistle caught her attention. And ordinary person probably wouldn't have noticed the pitch, but Skuld's attention snapped around to find the flat of a okanomiyaki shiruken inbound at high speed. Her thought process froze for that split second, allowing the projectile to close to point blank range. Another gust of wind and she blinked. Gone! The spatula was gone! It probably wouldn't have done any damage to begin with, but…

Ranma and the other boy came out of their violent blur as if by mutual consent and stared at the two girls who were still going at it. Their combat form, however, was subpar at best due to fatigue. The pigtailed boy looked at the lost boy, who simply shrugged. Ranma sighed a wandered lazily over to the embattled pair and snatched their weapons away. Both protested indignantly until Ranma handed Ukyo a smaller version of her own combat spatula. The chef blinked in wonder.

"Ya almost hit the girl over there." The martial artist frowned and her eyes widened. Both stared over at the oddly dressed girl, who stared back at them from the edge of the pond. Any protests they had in mind after that were immedietly cut short as Ryoga walked up to the trio, bearing the unconscious bodies of Kodachi and Mousse over each shoulder.

"Play time's over."

The two girls looked from Ranma to Ryoga, then back to Ranma, who gave them a nod that indicated playtime was, infact, over. As if to illustrate the point, his sparring partner shrugged and two bodies hit the ground like sacks of potatoes. Shampoo and Ukyo gave one another a look and a mutual truce was called. As if on cue, Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi filed out of the house, curious as to the break in hostilities.

Ranma walked over to the girl, studying her carefully as he did. There was definitely more to her than meat the eye. For one, she had no ki to speak of. Oh sure, there was plenty of raw power leaking from her- magical power if he were any judge –but no ki. The martial artist didn't like where that particular observation was leading him. It meant as cute as she was, she…

"She's not human." Ryoga stated warily from Ranma's back. Saotome nodded. You can't _not_ have ki and still live. Even the most untrained person on the planet still had ki floating around them. Disorganized and whispy, sure, but it was there. This girl had absolutely none which could mean any number of things… Being human, as Ryoga had just pointed out, wasn't one of them. Well at least she probably wasn't another—

"Another fiancée, Ranma?" Nabiki inquired with a smirk, earning him a fierce scowl from the younger sister in tow. Ranma winced, more from the prospect of another fiancée than Akane's ire, the latter of which he had long since gotten used to. Mallets didn't even faze him any more. Nabiki's comment gained the attention of the remaining two fiancées, whose faces hardened at the prospect of more competition.

Well, human or not, she hadn't attacked anybody yet, Ranma decided. That, and she was nearly hit by one of Uuchan's spatulas, which made him at least partly responsible for not controlling the situation any better than he had. Of course, sparring with Ryoga normally demanded his full attention and he hadn't expected the girl to simply be standing by the pond. One minute, the space had been empty, the next a black haired girl of about sixteen or so. Well, whatever. Might as find out what she wanted.

Ranma opened his mouth, only to have his querie prempted by the slight girl in the strange red and white dress. "Skuld, Goddess of the Future, second class at your service!" She piped cheerfully.

Ranma frowned. "I ain't in trouble, am I?"

This question caused the Godesses thought process to studder. He hadn't asked for proof that she was a goddess or even questioned her identity for that matter. No demonstrations of power. Just—

"Cuz Saffron got what was comin' to him."

"Er, right." Skuld replied slowly, still on unfamiliar ground. "No, I think we're quite pleased about that particular incident…. I think."

"Ah, okay." Ranma scratched his head, equally uncertain. The females in his life had never been the harbringers of good fortune, and somehow he doubted one of the goddess variety would fare him any better.

"So you're not a fiancée?" Ukyo asked, strait and to the point.

"Um, no?"

Shampoo smiled. It wasn't a friendly smile. "Is good. New fiancées get too-too hurt.."

Skuld's eyes flicked from one fiancée to the other, and then to the angry girl to her right. Something told her that an indepth read of Ranma's profile was in order once she got back. Regardless, it was time to put that particular question to rest. "I'm simply here to grant Ranma a wish."

The word "wish?" was practically repeated in unison by the group and Ranma's face turned pale. "Uh, nah. I think I'll pass." The Goddess of the Future blinked. She couldn't stop blinking. Who the heck would refuse a wish? The crowd around him was apparently thinking the same thing.

"Are you kidding? Take the wish!"

"You better wish for money, Saotome."

"You could wish your way out of Shampoo's kiss, Ran-chan."

"Is stupid. Airen wish for Shampoo all by self."

"A wish? Oh my."

Ranma let the argument continue for another five minutes as Skuld's head snapped back and forth from one person to another, trying to decipher just what in the world was going. She turned her attenton back to the martial artist who had disappeared unnoticed from the arguing crowd. Skuld took a glance back at the argument. Finding them thoroughly occupied, she too stepped away unnoticed and extended her senses outward, finding him on a nearby rooftop. She crossed the space easily and floated up to the shingled roof, where he watched the argument below. She looked down on the scene and frowned. "I see."

Ranma looked up at the Goddess, registering absolutely no surprise that she had either found him or just floated up to the rooftop. "Yeah, that's about it. No matter what I wish for, it's bound to screw somebody over."

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad." Sculd rolled her eyes, then caught Ranma's dry look. Suddenly, her brian flashed back to his file, the dead god and the battle she had only minutes before walked into. "Okay, so maybe it is. Wish the curse away?"

"Nah." The answer only somewhat surprised Skuld. It would have given his arguing friends below a heart attack. "It ain't so bad. Besides, it's going to take one hellva wish to solve all my problems… And theirs."

Skuld nodded, mulling the problem over in her brain. That last statement alone indicated why he was the one deserving of the wish. He wasn't looking to just solve his problems alone, but the entire mess that bound him and his friends. While it was a nice thought, it made the wishing expontially harder.

She down with the pigtailed martial artist, amazed that the argument below was still going on. "A wish of that magnitude will have to be precisely worded to have the effect you desire."

"Like what?"

Skuld waggled a admonishing finger at Ranma. "It's your wish. Has to be your hearts desire. I can only help with generalities."

"Then I'm screwed." Ranma rolled his eyes, eliciting a slight giggle from Skuld. "Guess I better pray that this wish goes better than the last ones."

"Last ones?" Skuld mouthed incredulously.

"Letsee…" Ranma began, ticking them off on his fingers. "There was that stupid sword, the mirror, a wishing stone, the lamp, two scrolls…" He failed to notice the goddesses' twitch. The fact that a mortal had been exposed to so many wishing devices and lived either spoke of the young man's forsight in their wording or.. Skuld glanced down at the feuding crowd once more, who were only now beginning to reliaze that the subject of their quarreling was no longer present. Okay, so definitely not forsight if he was still in this mess. More like dumb luck; good or bad she wasn't certain.

* * *

**Crapspace notes:**  
Whee! Romance! And yes, a wish. Sigh. Don't those get old after a while? But hey, this one would have been something that would have promoted the entire NWC to God or demonhood, creating a whole mess of problems. So, some Skuld-Ranma action... but I've never been a huge Skuld fan, so maybe next time.


	7. Blood and Lightning

**Blood and Lightning**  
By Ozzallos

**"B**wee!"

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma Saotome, currently heiress of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts replied in an acerbic tone. "Like I haven't heard that one before."

The black piglet glared from his station atop the Saotome's red crop of hair as she made her way down the dirt trail. "Bwee! Bwee-bwee-bwee!"

"Uh huh." Ranma rolled her eyes and absently adjusted the small pack and red umbrella strapped to her back. "Got it."

"BWEE!"

The little pig bounced on her head and the girl stopped, pulling it from it's position by the tiger striped bandanna around its neck. The piglet squirmed slightly as she held it at eye level before resigning itself to its fate, hanging limp. "You realize I don't understand a word you're sayin', right?"

The black piglet affected a small sigh and nodded.

Ranma considered it a moment longer before shrugging. "Camp and water?" The pig nodded furiously. The martial artist placed the Jusenkyo curse Hibiki back on her head. "Sure, why not."

(unfinished scene)

* * *

Ranma Saotome stared at the rugged old hiking pack that had accompanied throughout most of his life. He smiled slightly as he unbuckled the worn leather flap, remembering just how early the old man had saddled him with the then huge pack.

"_Be a man, boy!"_ The voice floated through his thoughts. _"A true martial artist will endure any load for the art!"_

From that point on, he had endured that load. First, wandering around Japan, learning from the best martial artists they encountered. Then later through the wilds of the Chinese Amazon. In it were his supplies, then his old man's supplies and eventually stones and bricks as his strength increased. He had swam the Sea of Japan with that same load and carried it all the way to Nerima. The slight smile wilted and died.

Now he'd be lucky to lift a fraction of that.

Ranma Saotome sighed, and began picking though his belonging. There'd be no way he could pack everything now. Weight was everything. A few changes in clothing at best. Some dry foods. Most of his eating would be hand to mouth off the land when he was away from civilization. The martial artist's mood soured briefly, but relented back to grudging acceptance. Anything Goes was all about making lemonade from lemons, and life had thrown one huge-ass lemon at him.

He rolled the tent up tightly and pushed it into the pack. Still plenty of space to spare and yet it was nearly all he could carry at this point. _Damn it_. _No sense in crying over it_. Ranma lifted the pack with slight strain and hefted it over his back. _Might as well get this over with. _

Ranma slid the guest bedroom door open and stepped out into the hallway. As soon as his first step hit the light brown wood of the second story floor, the low din of conversation from the first floor ceased. He froze at the threshold for a moment as silence pervaded the Tendo household. So it's gonna be like that, eh? The moment broke and he walked to the stairs, taking them one by one as he had so many other times in the past year. Of course, this time was different.

This time would be the last time for what might be a _long_ time.

Half way down those stairs, a curious sight greeted Ranma Saotome. A gathering. But not the one he was expecting. His father and the Tendos, yes. Cologne, Shampoo and Ukyo? No. He cleared the final stairs in a state of slight wonder.

"Boy." Genma nodded stoically. The gesture held none of the cynicism he had come to know over the years.

"Pops."

Genma reached into the folds of his gi, pulling out two scrolls. He held them out for Ranma to take. "The sum total of my experience, boy. Use it well."

"Uh, Thanks… Pops." Ranma took the rolled parchments, curiosity as to their contents eating him alive. The stunned boy gave his father one last look before moving on down the line of well-wishers. Soun Tendo was as nearly as subdued as his father, while Nabiki stood by, less the customary sparkle of avarice in her eyes. She tossed him a small fist sized roll of paper that Ranma only identified upon catching it.

"Consider that a loan, Saotome." Nabiki smile with more warmth than he had seen in his entire stay. "Interest free for saving my sister." Ranma arched a doubting eyebrow and the middle sister hmmfed. "Even I'm allowed to be nice sometimes."

"I won't tell anybody." Ranma smiled slightly.

"You had better not." She returned with mock sternness as Ranma continued for the door. Kasumi and Akane stood together, the latter clutching a notebook tightly. It was also the goodbye Ranma was least looking forward to. Akane remained tight lipped, leaving it Kasumi to speak first.

"We both figured that this would be a fitting parting gift from both of us." The eldest Tendo sister smiled gently. She motioned to Akane who proffered a small notebook. The girl forced a smile, in spite of the emotion sparkling in her eyes. "We found it in the closet while looking for something… suitable."

"You'll probably get more use out of it than I will."

Ranma took the notebook tentatively, reading the precisely penned kanji written on its cover. It took a moment for his brain to comprehend the title and when he did, he nearly dropped it. "Ah, I can't accept—!"

"You can return it when you comeback." Kasumi countered with an irresistibly warm smile.

Akane's eyes narrowed on the martial artist. "And you'd _better_ be back." She took his hands and the stern look melted into a smile. "Please?"

"Like a little burn from the old gnome is gonna stop me." Ranma produced a crooked smile with the comment, prompting Akane to roll her eyes.

"Baka."

"Kawaii-kun."

Both held their fond gaze a moment longer before Ranma continued down the line, where Ukyo, Cologne and Shampoo stood by.

"You sure you're not going to need any help Ran-chan?" Ukyo started with a pensive expression. "I mean, I could help! Cook and fight and—"

Ranma simply shook his head solemly and the words died on her lips. "Gotta do this alone, Ucchan."

He gave her a falsely cheery smile and moved onto the Amazon contingent, where he was mildly surprised to find Shampoo not jumping out of her skin, ready to propose the same offer. Instead, her eyes held little of the jubilant sparkle he had come to know. he cocked her head and she divined his question before it even left his lips. "Shampoo no go with Ranma."

The tone was almost apologetic, and the pigtailed boy couldn't help but to note the lack of her customary affectionate honorary. Cologne supplied the response in a somewhat cryptic manner. "Under the circumstances, I have been forced to… _dissolve_ the kiss protocols."

"I…I see." Ranma returned with somewhat mixed emotions. He should have been happy to have one fiancée out of his hair, but the method by which it was occurring felt like he was being discarded. _Shoulda expected it_, he through, studying the old crone. _Can't risk havin' weakness bred into those healthy Amazon genes, right? _

"But do be sure to accompany us to the Neko Han ten before you depart." She continued, and Ranma eyed her warily. "I believe we can assist you on your sojourn."

Ranma eyed the old ghoul for another moment before shrugging his acceptance. Not like he had much else to lose at this point, and the elder had helped him master two powerful techniques. The least he could do was swing by the restaurant on his way out of Nerima.

With goodbyes dispensed to Cologne and Shampoo, that left…

…the door.

Ranma's hand grasped the cold brass knob and he turned back to find all eyes on him. He snorted at the mixture of sadness an sympathy being poured out before him. "See ya all in a while… And thanks."

The door opened and closed, admitting him out into brilliant daylight framed by a beautiful, cloud spackled sky and… _Ryoga?_

Ranma blinked. "Pork-butt?"

Ryoga Hibiki glared at him momentarily, but relented into stoic seriousness as he hefted his own pack, securing the umbrella with rope binding. "Where to first?"

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "Who invited you?"

"I invited _myself_." Ryoga returned tartly. "You're going to need help, regardless of the show you put on with _them_."

Ryoga's thumb jabbed toward the closed front door of the house and the Saotome shook his head. "Look, I don't need your pity, so get lost already."

The literally Lost Boy put his hands defiantly to his hips and cracked a fanged grin. "And you're going to stop me?"

The martial artist ground his teeth down. On any other day of any other week he would stop him. He'd stop him so badly that his children would feel it. But today wasn't that day. And neither was yesterday and the day before that. He could through his fullest measure of power into a punch and Ryoga would barely notice it. _Hell, Kasumi would barely notice it,_ he thought cynically.

"Fine." Ranma spat, resigning himself to his fate. What did he care, anyway. "But don't think I'm feedin' ya."

* * *

**Crapspace Notes-**  
Yeah, not a whole lot here. Details? Well, think of this as the predecessor to Leaf, save the fact that it was designed to be a Ranma-Naruto romance from the ground up. Knights of the True Gender, unite! There's probably enough of a plot here to get a general idea of what happens one some blanks are filled in... Moxibustion arc, no cure, divergence. Lost with Ryoga, both end up in naruto-verse. Ranma self loathing, friendship with naruto, etc etc.


	8. Burning Bright

**Burning Bright**

"Doctor! Over here!"

**A**n anonymous figure clad in full artic survival gear stood up from his studies of the snow encrusted ice at his boots, tapping one last note into the hardened PDA. His attempt at note taking was made all the more difficult by the equally thick gloves wrapped around his hands and thus settled for barely legible chicken scratch before pocketing the device and turning to the person beckoning his attention.

It was only a twenty foot walk over to his colleague, but that twenty feet might as well have been a mile in the gusting sub-zero wind and ice. Warm breath curled visibly around his brown hood as he stepped up to his partner. "Tell me you've found something?"

"The mother load." The man's face may not have been visible through swaths of cloth, but the smile in his words clearly was. He turned the laptop he had been cradling toward the new arrival. "Look at the striations in the ice below us. Nothing like it for _miles._"

Doctor Kusanagi nodded, but reigned in his hopes. "We can't move the entire camp fifteen miles south because of anomalies in the ice. Give me something concrete."

"You want something concrete?" The other scientist pulled his scarf down from his face, revealing the smile. He hit a key on the weathered laptop, switching from a black and white cross section of the ice to a full spectrum graphic. "How's _that_ for concrete?"

Kusenagi slowly pulled the tinted goggles from his eyes, revealing their widened diameter. Surprise ruled his face. "That's not…?"

"Damn right it is." The man's smile grew. "An honest to God AT Field."

The expedition's leader relieved his partner of the laptop, scrutinizing every detail on the snow speckled screen. "It's petty weak. How deep?"

"Nearly three-hundred feet." He pointed to the large spike. "This is definitely the 1990 site. I'd bet our next decade of funding on it."

Kusanagi frowned at his study of the laptop. "What's this secondary spike? We were assured there'd only be one."

The assistant shook his head, wondering at the smaller peak next to the mountain of digital color. "Was hoping you could tell me. You're the one with all the 'need to know' after all." The middle aged scientist shook his head. "It's dead center in the ice formation. In fact, I'd have to say the epicenter. Say, two hundred and fifty feet down."

Kusanagi contemplated the dilemma for a moment before handing the laptop back to his partner. "Alright. We move. I want the camp at least three miles downrange. I'm not about to make the same mistake the first expedition did. We go in gently and by the book, got it?"

The assistant nodded. "Which one do we go for first?"

"The smaller one," Doctor Kusanagi stated with certainty. "No radiation or deep drilling until we know what it is in 3D. Use sonar for now. Well take what we learn from it and apply that to excavating the larger artifact. Let's get the camp moving."

The scientist gave the expedition leader a crisp nod and turned on heel, running back to the battered snowcat fifty feet away, which was quite a feat considering the environment he was running in, Kusanagi smiled. Of course, he'd be running too. Below his feet was perhaps the most important discovery ever made by mankind. It was something that would change their world forever. The doctor let another vaporous breath loose into the pale, snow streaked sky.

He only wished he could be there when Gendo got the news back home.

* * *

"Status?"

**I**t was a simple question from a complex man. Gendo Ikari carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders and did so with unflinching resolve. Oft times that resolve forced him to making decisions that only mad men would contemplate and there were numerous occasions where he was considered a mad man, but the position of Commander and Chief of NERV, Earth's last line of defense against the Angelic threat was fraught with peril. He couldn't afford to second-guess himself.

"Designate Theriel has vanished; erratic readings detected in Unit Six's core!" Lieutenant Shigeru Aoba detailed as the readings on his display shifted wildly.

"Units zero-zero and zero-one are clear, zero two will surface in eight point three seconds." Maya Ibuki reported.

Ritsuko stared into the giant holographic tank that depicted the events outside Central Dogma unfolding and came to the most likely conclusion based on the data available. She typed a few more keys into her terminal to confirm her hypothesis. "It's taking control of the Dummy Plug. Our signal is being overridden at the source."

Gendo tapped a gloved finger on the armrest of his command chair and his emotionless voice cut through the tension like liquid helium. "How long?"

"Less than thirty seconds. Rei and Shinji won't be in position in time." Ritsoko confirmed and an unspoken command passed between himself and the NERV operations director.

Misato nodded, coming to her own decision. "Eject the plug. Initiate auto destruct before it gets within the city limits." She keyed her own communications channel. "Rei, Shinji; Positron rifles are coming up, building five. Asuka, you've got the vibro sword as back-up when you hit the surface."

"B-Key override!" The dark haired female lieutenant reported from her station with an edge of panic. "Core has been breached, Angel assuming full control of Unit Seven!"

"Ejection protocols are being refused!" Maya announced with a similar edge of apprehension. "Zero-Six is rejecting Auto-Destruct command line!"

The hardened commander muttered an unheard curse as the Eva unit in the holo tank below shuttered, its flat white chassis becoming marred with black charring, as if a disease were enveloping it. The wings that stretched across its back began to deteriorate, eaten away by the same omnivorous plankton that was compromising every system of his chess piece.

"Zero in position." A female voice as emotionless as Ikari's own crackled over Misato's comm.

"Shinji in position." His sullen, business like tone advised next.

"Asuka… _In position!_" The final voice reported with forced exuberance. "Time to kick some ass!"

Misato keyed her comm once again. "Unit Zero-six has been compromised by the Angel. Eliminate it with extreme prejudice." It was a simple order and she didn't feel the need to outline tactics as their weapons load made that perfectly obvious. Two would try to bring it down with suppressive fire while the third would cut it apart with the seldom used progressive katana as necessary.

All in all it was turning our to be a very bad day for crew manning Central Dogma and a very bad day for them meant a very bad day for Tokyo Three in general. Unit Zero-Seven was being running through a combat exercise when the Eighteenth Angel dropped out of the sky, practically on top of them. Theriel was roughly of humanoid shape, though it resembled something akin to a spider walking on two legs with four arms joining at the point where its head would normally reside. Elongated vertebrae jutted out from its back and the individual shafts glowed each time it fired an AT bolt into the city as it cleared out the fixed defenses.

Nothing detected its entry into their plane of existence and Misato Katsuragi were caught flatfooted in the precious moments it took to recall the pilots and warm up the Evas. She made a tactical decision to pull Unit Zero-Seven off the firing range to engage the Angel in order to buy time. It was rather unfortunate luck on her part that the Angel seemed to like that body as opposed to its own and now Theriel's original form merged with its new home, the result being something that looked like the original Eva production model with _six _arms, while its white chassis was bespeckled by a black plague.

Or perhaps it wasn't luck at all.

"It appears our suspicion were correct, Commander." Ritsuko turned away from her own data display, reporting sedately. "The Karou dummy plug seems to display a distinct vulnerability to angelic takeover."

"SEELE won't be liking that." Misato commented with an edge of sarcasm, watching the initial engagement unfold in the holotank below. "Especially after how much they've invested in it."

Gendo Ikari nodded, knowing that investment involved much more than financial investment. "It changes nothing. Eliminate the Angel."

* * *

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Ranma shifted nervously in his classroom seat, neither able to concentrate on the lesson in front of him or to fall asleep as was tradition. To others less attuned to themselves or the world around them it was a vague feeling of disquiet, a nagging something that- while annoying –could be shoved to the back of their mind to concentrate on the more important things in life.

As it was, there were less than a handful of people in all of Japan that would feel anything beyond that quite feeling of discomfort and Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts was one of them. To him it was an impending sense of doom, a blanket that fell across the entire city.

Akane eyed Ranma warily. She was not part of the select elite that could feel the dramatic shift in the air, but she knew her on-again, off-again fiancé well enough to know something was amiss. Very amiss. The biggest clue leading to that conclusion was that Ranma was fully awake in class. That alone was enough to set her on edge. Then there was the quite figeting and intense concentration, none of which was due to Miss Hinako's teaching style. It was ironic in a small way. Ranma still wasn't paying any attention to the class, but Akane had seen the signs enough times before to at least pay special note to them… Ranma was on high alert.

As if her revelation triggered some sort of switch in the martial artist, he suddenly pushed up from his desk and moved to the open window to the rear. The etire class was fixed on him now.

"Mr. Saotome, your delinquency will not be—"

The Ki draining teacher never got a chance to complete her warning as Ranma simply hopped out the window.

* * *

"AAHHHHaaaRR!"

**T**he cry came from Shinji as another AT bolt slammed through his cover, an eight story building and into his own field, sending EVA 01 sprawling in a cloud of dust across the Tokyo Three landscape. The building he had been hiding behind stood mometarily with a perfect circle carved through it before buckling, collapsing into rubble.

Theriel's spinal vertebrae glowed once more and an energy ball formed in its hands. The mutated Eva production model thrust the ball out in front of and lined up on its stricken purple counter part. Even as it poised for released, plasma bolts slammed into it as Rei took her shot from EVA 00. The orange humanoid robot lit off another round from the shoulder slung plasma mounts and this time the Angel was ready

Shinji fought through the psycho-technology induced pain and righted the mecha even as the plasma fire rebounded off his distracted opponent. A comm. Channel within his field of vision blinked open, framing the a face he knew all too well.

"Change in tactics." The feminine voice ordered on-screen. "Rei will continue suppressive fire while you open up the Angel's AT field in hand to hand."

Shinji blinked. That meant getting up close and personal with the possessed mass production model, a tactic he had long since learned wasn't conducive to one's long term survival… Or sanity. "And _then_ what?"

"Then Asuka gets to impale it with a certain progressive katana." Atsuko Kusanagi returned with a hint of feral glee in her voice. "Copy that, Rei? Asuka?"

"Copy."

"This plan _sucks_."

"Can it." The commander ordered sharply. "Get a move on, Shinji. The thing is only going to pay attention to that suppressive fire for so long."

Shinji nodded, more to himself than anybody else and willed the giant purple and black mech to its feet. With another mental push, he was at a run, watching the scene in front of him as he closed back in on the action. An orange mech, similar to his own was weeving between office buildings, stopping only long enough to bring to bring its own energy rifle to bear and squeeze off a burst before moving on to the next building… Which was fortunate since a giant ball of energy seemed to always find the _previous_ building, annihilating it in an orgy of destructive force.

Shinji skidded to a halt just outside Rei's free fire zone and opened a channel to the Third Child, whose own red and black mech had been hunched behind a nearby warehouse.

The remains of another building crashed beside Unit 00 and Shinji Ikari swallowed the bitter pill, forming the command that would send his Eva forward at a high spring. The LCL suspension liquid absorbed the shock of his first step and he was off, charging the tainted production model. Another AT bolt formed in its hand and another building disappeared as his blue haired sister in arms continued her calculated movement, weaving throughout the sububs of Tokyo three and denying the the mecha a clear shot, all while continuing to pepper it with her own plasma fire.

All of which was good, in Shinji's eyes. As long as Rei could stay ahead of the attacks and as long as it remained distracted and as long as he could close the range, he might- The other arm arm raised and oriented itself on him as the spinal columns began to glow a sickly pink. It wasn't even looking at him! The glowing ball formed in its hand and…

_BOOOoooOOM!_

Combat reflexes honed from two years of paranoia and survival instinct were the only thing that saved Shinji and his giant robot from becoming molten slag as he lunched left at the very last second with a clear enough view of the energy attack as it streaked by his head, while the reactive bindings along his 'skin' clearly relayed the intense heat radiated by the micro-nova. It mattered little however. Eva 01 had enough forward momentum and Shinji enough adrenaline fueled reaction to follow through the sidestep and into pointblank range. His Eva's hands made contact with the production models protective AT field and he gritted in preparation of his next action.

"AT Field, _full power!"_

While vocalizing the command wasn't a necessity, it did help focus the teen's mindset as he mentally tapped the S2 core, routing otherworldly energies through the mechs frame and into his hands, where they dug into the Angel's opposing AT field; sheering at it violently. Space began to warp along the stress point as the barrier began to fracture into pinkish purple hexagons, opening a path through the ethereal energies. Shinji felt his own muscles cramp as the Eva's arms seized momentarily. The production model was attempting to feed more power into its own field! Fire blazed through the pilots psyche as he leaned further into the S2s power curve and fought through the pain, forcing the breach open foot by agonizing foot. Well and good, Shinji snarled mentally as his arms burned. He'd been in pain before, and all he had to do was- The hand, still outstretched toward him began to glow again. It was charging slower than last time, but there was no mistaking the Angels intent as a weak ball of absolute terror coalesced within its grip.

"Got a problem here!"

"Open the field fifteen more meters and you can hand off to Asuka." The command channel returned, Misato clearly recognizing the threat herself.

The glow was getting bright, in spite of the resources he was sure the Angel was diverting in order to stall his efforts. "I don't think I have that much time!"

"I swear you'd be lost without me!" Another voice crackled in, forcing a grim smile out of Eva 01's pilot. Shinji spared a glance over his shoulder, watching his red and black counterpart pull the massive progressive Katana from its restraining bolts and clear of the building as if the structure itself was a sheath. "Can't you save the day yourself just once, Wonder Boy?"

"I…grrrr…I could," the pilot fought as another five feet of AT field parted under his minstations, "But then I'd have to get…arrrrr…all of us killed again… grrr…first!"

"I do not find that an acceptable outcome." Another voice keyed in. Across the clearing, Rei had set up her plasma rifle in a crouch behind a building, setting herself up for a strategic shot.

"We'll I'll be damned if I get my arms ripped off again!" The katana swung around and the redhead commanding Unit 03 send the command through the system, activating the vibro-sword in hand. The swing was just careless enough to lop the corner off a nearby warehouse but she paid it little mind, breaking into a high speed sprint.

"Get the lead out Asuka!" Captain Misato barked over the channel. "Rei, do you have a shot?"

"Negative." The emotionless voice crackled. "The core is obscured by the Angel's remaining AT Field from this angle." She paused, before continuing. "But I can improvise."

An intelligible curse was heard before the commander of secuity's voice returned to normal levels. "Improvise the hell out of it then."

"Understood."

Rei nudged a pseudo organic finger and began to pull down on the trigger…

… As Asuka closed the gap and entered melee range in high leap, bringing the progressive katana in for a powerful overhead strike the all but promised to cleave the plagued eva in two. Shinji put his will into one last sull and the AT field before him parted, giving the airborn red mecha all the opening it need…

…While the charging AT bolt pointed squarly at his chest began to flare menacingly. The hand that held it tensed and Rei fired. Coils siphoned power from the weapons micro fusion battery housed in the stock, amplifying the charge and focusing it through a series of magnetic lenses where upon it was discharged from the barrel at nearly the speed of light. An AT field would have shrugeed the 15 megawatt burst of plasma off. Standard reactive plating, however, was a different matter entirely as the line of energy instantly dumped 3.2 million degrees of highly focused plasma into the production models forearm. A quarter of the limb was gone in a flash, but the AT bolt it had built up remained.

Uncontrolled.

Unbound.

The katana flashed down from behind and parted the Angels skull shredding the molecular bonds of it armor as it continued into the chest cavity and struck the core, breaching it with the full fury of gravity, momentum, mass and ultra high intensity vibration.

More uncontrolled energy.

The very essesance of the Angel's chaotic power found the opening even as the blade passed through its housing, blasting through the mechs systems and vaporizing the dummy plug's barely sentient passenger as it continued out along the superstructure like lightning unleashed. The fact that Asuka's blade had cleared the open air between the production model's mattered little now as the power sought its level. It bridged the gap and dumped into the remains of its own defensive AT shielding, shielding that Shinji Ikari was still in contact with via his own field while the blast detonated into a free ball of expanding power. The teen rapidly coverted his field back to defense and power interacted, finding more of its own and feeding back on the S2 core at the heart of his Eva.

"The production model is going crit- I've got feedback in Unit 01's core!" [scientist] gaped, staring at her the warning flags rapidly illuminating her console while the rest of the command deck stared at the blinding light ingulfing the combat area.

"Power down, Shinji!" The Commander yelled into the open channel as a pillar of flaming energy formed around the combat area.

"Trying! Can't…. Failure! …Loosing…!" The frequency disintegrated into hard static as the pillar blinded the airborn camera. It wasn't a second latter that same static descended upon their displays.

"Massive ground burst!" [officer] "EMP all across the board!"

"I've lost telemetry on all units!" [officer]

"Recon five unable to maintain contact! Switching to satellite!" The main holographic display switched from static to a view of the earth from low orbit. "Acquiring coordinates… Satellite coming down."

The magnification shifted suddenly as the view plunged downward, through the atmosphere, past a handful of insubstantial clouds and into a point of light pulsing along the surface of a town up suburban sprawl. Another second and the area grew in detail, allowing the occupants of Central Dogma to observe the flash vaporization of five square kilometers of Tokyo three landscape in greater detail.

"Unable to read Eva transponders."

"Destroyed?" Gendo unclasped his gloved hands and adjusted the spectales riding his sharp nose. It wasn't an outcome he was looking forward to as it created many, _many_ problems.

"Possibly, but look at the crater." [Scientist] observed, adjusting the satellite angle out slightly. "It looks as if five square kilometers of rock were simply carved away, not blasted out."

"Then what-?"

"I've got a reading!"

The entire bridge turned to the screen and watched from overhead as the pillar of light and power simply shrank into a point, forming a pair of arms, legs and an elongated curved torpedo shape for a head. A tail snaked out from the form of light and Gendo twitched visibly. N2 mines would be insufficient. Their last defense had just been neutralized. Using the other Production Model Evas on the testing range was tantamount to suicide. None of it would be enough to stop what was now standing three miles above them. A voice tainted with the slight edge of terror echoed across Central Dogma's intercom

"Pattern Blue! Repeat, we have a Pattern Blue!"

Shinji Ikari stood on a plane of pure white, outlined by a sky of white. There were no features. No reference points. It was everything and nothing simultaneously. He had been here before.

* * *

"Welcome back."

**S**hinji didn't even bother to look for the disembodied voice that echoed across the white void. Like the white sky, it was everywhere and nowhere at once. Shinji just shook his head and released the pressure clasp on his suit. Air hissed and the skin tight plugsuit slackened to afford him some measure of comfort. "Can't say it's good to be back."

"A poor attitude to arrive on death's doorstep with."

"Being absorbed by a semi-organic monster with the remnants of my mother's soul inside of it doesn't sit well." Shinji snorted and sat down in the white nothingness.

"But I do so enjoy the company."

The teen crossed his arms onto his knees, resting his head along them. "Maybe I would too if I were my only company."

"But you are."

True, perhaps when this entire mess started. He had came to Nerv without any real family or friends. Now he had at least four he would stake his life on, and they him. "Not so much anymore."

Silence pervaded the white ether for the next few moments until Shini raised his head and leaned back, staring up into the un-sky. At least 'sky' by his orientation. "At least its peaceful here. Easy just to let go."

"An interesting thing to say when dancing on the knife edge of death."

"Easy." Shinji intoned. "But just like dad. He took the easy way out with me."

"'Easy' hardly got you here."

Shinji Ikari chuckled. There was truth in that. God knew he had put everything into opening the last Angel's AT field. "But it would be easy to just slip…"

"True." Shinji contemplated the neutral reply and rocked forward along his back and upright, standing. "But then you won't know your destiny."

This stopped the Ikari short. "Destiny?"

"Only the living may indulge in those."

"What destiny?"

"Destiny is only for fools." The voice continued its musings, totally ignoring the teens rapt curiosity. "For the brave. The selfless. The honorable… And sometimes, the living."

"I thought Evas were my destiny? This damn train wreck called my life." Shinji's brain was grinding madly now.

"Even train wrecks can end spectacularly." Shinji's eyebrow shot up with that last comment. If he didn't know any better, this place was taking on a sense of humor. A very _morbid_ one.

"So what do I have to do?" Shinji asked, almost expecting the void to leave him in mysterious silence upon having come to this revelation.

"The usual. Fight. Endure pain. Win… And live."

The last part hit home. He didn't live, so much as exist from one battle to the next. One angel to the next. "Not as easy as it sounds, the last."

"Then find another. Find another to fight with. To share pain. To win with. And to Live."

"But…"

"This destiny can be walked alone." The voice continued heedlessly. "It requires another. Another you must find. But after."

"But who!" Shinji was now turning around, addressing the whiteout as a whole audience. "After what?"

"After you survive. And save you save Rei. After you save Asuka."

Shinji's thought process froze. They had been caught in the blast too! Self loating an curiosity quickly evaporated in Shinji's mind as he focused on one of the few possessions he was able to maintain in this so-called life of his: Friends.

"How do I get out of here!"

"A simple task… For one who lives."

"I asked how, dammit!"

"Concentrate of them. On the other. On the destiny."

* * *

**Crapspace Notes-**  
Oooh, Evangelion! Probably one of the most substandard, most comprehensible series in anime to date with a fandom that actually thinks they can derive meaning from said mish-mash of techno religious conspiracy psychobabble... And I thought I'd try my hand at it too :D That said, evangelion is another one of those series where I'll read other people's fics featuring it, just not write one for myself. Shinji and the gang are blasted back to 1998 Tokyo where they hook up with the NWC, precipitate events for the second impact early and leave Ranma to clean up the mess and put the timeline back in order, get frozen and find his way to Eva's present. Complicated? A bit. A Ranma-Rei romance? Possibly. Maybe even Ranma-shinji too, but I obviously never got far enough to decide.


	9. Warcraft Concept

**Warcraft Concept**  
By Ozzallos

**R**anma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stared at the bed before him in dismay. It wasn't the bed that was creating the dismay, nor was it the fact that it was nabiki's bed, though this fact was disturbing enough. Rather, it was what lay upon the bed. The pigtailed martial artist eyed the bed again before casting turning baleful look back upon Nabiki to his right, who in turn dismissed his glare with cool amusement.

"You gotta be kidding me."

"Time is money, Saotome," The mercenary's smirk faded slightly. "Or do I have to remind you that you're the one who chose the terms of payment?"

The martial artist's resolve faltered slightly and turned back to the bed. As horrible as it seemed, she was right. He had chosen the terms and he'd keep his word. It was either this or pay up the full balance of the loan; money he wasn't going to see anytime soon. He picked up the first component of the two piece lying on the bed; a bodice comprised of nearly black leather and gold metal banding that twisted through intricate designs. A quick glance at the remaining piece revealed a thong comprised of similar material and design while a pair of ordinate leather and metal bracers lay off to the side.

Ranma's cheek twitched.

"Picked this number up at a discount store," nabiki continued, prempting her maybe future brother in laws objections. "Apparently there's a growing segment of your fan base that wants to see the bad girl in you."

"My _fanbase_?" The Saotome blinked at the patronizing smile growing on Nabiki's face before turning back to the costumne with a dour expression. "And where do you get this stuff anyway?"

"Novelty store on the other side of town," She shrugged, pulling a camera from a desk drawer in the corner of her room. "Got it on special because its said to be cursed."

"You're joking."

"Thought you would appreciate that," She smiled. The girl hefted a black camera bag from a nearby dresser and turned for the bedroom door. "Two rolls in the dojo. I'd hurry if you want to be done before the rest of the family comes home."

The thought forced an icy chill through the martial artist. His father's incessant bitching would be bad enough. Akane's righteous indignation would be even worse. Ranma watched the sister leave with a sour look on his face before turning back to his newest nemesis, the steal and leather bodice two piece lying upon the bed.

_Click-click-click!_

Nabiki frowned as her Nikon dutifully snapped a trio of pictures that were worth neither her time nor money. Ranma posed before her through the view finder without enthusiasm, and what was supposed to be a photo shoot of a red headed hottie was rapidly turning into an exercise in futility. _Maybe if I got her from this angle…_

_Click!_

"Dammit, Saotome," Nabiki lowered the camera in cool frustration. "You look like a manikin."

"Guess I'm just not photogenic." The blue eyed, leather clad redhead stared impassively back at her.

"You're not even trying," The ice queen of Furikan considered her blandly. It was true, too. The martial artist born a boy had been blessed with the body of a bombshell and even her diminutive stature didn't detract from the fact that she was perfectly proportioned. Ranma's curse was even a point of considerable jealousy among half of the female student body. _Hell, even the guys that know she's a he can't help but to turn an eye…_

_Click! Click!_

_Now if I can only get her to play the dominatrix she's dressed as_, nabiki frowned as Ranma continued to pose with a complete lack of enthusiasm. Wait a minute… A pernicious grin lit her psyche as she turned a despondent expression upon Ranma. "Look… Nevermind. I'll just make do with what I've got."

"Huh? Wait, dontcha still have film left?" The bustier clad redhead paused, watching as the middle tendo curiously lowered the camera and unclicp the flash.

"Sure, three rolls," The sister commented without enthusiasm. "But what's the point if that's the best you can do?"

"The best I can…?" Ranma Saotome's mind mad a series of rapid and unlikely connections as she processed the wording. Anybody else would have more than likely jumped at the chance to be released from photo purgatory… Everybody but Ranma, who perceived the intended slight with absolute clarity. That last roll of film was most certainly not the best she was capable and Ranma was the best, end of that story.

"Hey! Wait!"

It was all Nabiki could do to keep the chestier cat's grin off her face as she looked back up at Ranma innocently. "Hmmm?"

"Put that thing back together!" The redhead leaned back against the dojo wall in a pose that would have been provocative in normal clothing, let alone what she was wearing now.

_Golden,_ Nabiki cheered, but made a show of hesitancy. "Look, I'm not sure…"

"Come on, Nabs," Ranma rushed. "Gotta finish that film off before the family comes home."

"Well, if you think we can pull it off…" The martial artist nodded furiously, then settled back into her pose, posturing at just the right angle to show off her every curve. Nabiki nodded, as if buying into Ranma's new found confidence. "Okay then. Fierce. I need you to look fierce."

Ranma's expression melted from cute to smoldering in seconds.

"Better," Nabiki dropped the calculated compliment and was instantly rewarded by the slightest show of annoyance from her subject. It was gone so fast that only the super observant would have noticed it, and she triggered the shutter, firing off a three frame burst. 'Better, but not good enough,' was Nabiki's unspoken missive and it was a challenge Ranma rose to answered readily, flowing into her next pose. "Out with the leg more… Good, good…"

_Click!-click-click!_

Half of Nabiki wondered just how her future brother in law, man among men was so damn proficient as a model. Half of her simply didn't care. Ranma took another pose, pushing her ample chest out toward the lens. _Money, money, money!_ The mantra echoed as she focused in the next shot_. Anything goes school of martial arts modeling, probably,_ she snickered and triggered the camera.

"Nice. Keep it up…" The Tendo dropped her compliments like breadcrumbs and Ranma greedily snapped up the praise, redoubling her efforts. "Chest out like this."

Ranma complied with a sultry, snarling look and nabiki went to rapid fire, triggering the shutter as fast as the mechanism would allow. More posing. Unload, reset, reload. The middle Tendo burned through the next roll as if it were on fire. Pose, focus—

_Flash!_

Ranma froze, blinking. Nabiki likewise paused, looking at her camera curiously. "Did you just see…?"

"Yeah, that freaky pink flash," Ranma confirmed, studying the camera. "Camera broke?"

"Hmmf, not likely," She disconnected the bulky black cube housing the flash, flipped a small switch, then replaced it back onto the camera chassis. "I paid good money for—"

_Flash!_

Nabiki was whirled around, this time looking for the source that obviously hadn't come from the unit in her hands. She hadn't even _connected_ it yet. So where the hell had the light come…from? Her eyes locked onto the floor at Ranma's feet, who was also looking around for the source. "What… the… hell?"

Blue eyes flicked from her to the focus of the Tendo's attention, only to stare incredulously at the floor around him. A glowing pink circle nearly a meter was now inscribed around her, pulsing with foreign symbology and other interlocking circles.

"Uh… Nabs…?"

"Saotome… Something is telling me you should get out of that…" Nabiki backed off a couple steps, staring. Then she emphasized, "_Slowly._"

"Ya think?" Ranma retorted dryly, but took the advice, gingerly lifting a foot for an immediate exit. The circle responded by growing brightly. "Oh shit…"

"What?" the middle sister mouthed, then watched as the symbols suddenly levitate from the floor into a swirling storm around her model. An edge of panic crept into her voice. "Ranma, forget the slowly part of that…"

"I ain't feelin' right…" The martial artist wavered, dropping her single foot in order to balance herself. "I think I'm gonna—"

_Flash!_

Nabiki scrubbed her eyes clear of the brightest pink flash to that point, only to repeat Ranma's exact words.

"Oh shit."

Ranma and the pink circles were _gone.  


* * *

_**Crapspace notes**  
Dammit, sorry about the double alerts. Wasn't supposed to purge it. That aside, Ranma as a Succubus. Everybody has to have one of those fics, right? this one was pretty straight forward... Ranma gets teh summons- actually multiple summons -by either a cute gnomelock or deadlock and feature incremental changes in personality each time she manages a dismissal back to nerima. What? Are those angry villagers crossing the internet superhighway with torches and pitchforks? Meh, Screw em. MORE LIGHTNING, Igor!_ Mwahahahah!_


	10. Storming Heaven

**Storming Heaven  
**By Ozzallos

**Prologue**

"**T**urn it off."

Belldandy blinked at the youth's completely unheard of request. Even her sister was nearly aghast that somebody had even broached the subject. Regardless, there was only one answer to give and she gave it. "I... I cannot. There is no way..."

The martial artist turned his blue eyes on the tanned skin goddess behind her who was staring incredulously at him. "What about you?"

"What about me?" It took a moment for the question to be processed, as his request had been so alien that sanity had to take another pass at it to even comprehend what he was asking. Logic took a stab at his words in turn and the result spewed thoughtlessly from the Goddesses lips. "What do you mean, 'what about me?' It's impossible! You made a wish! You can't take it back just because you don't feel like it! It was accepted and processed, or did you miss the giant blue beam of light shooting from my sister's forehead?"

Ranma Saotome, heir to the anything Goes school of martial arts stared at the tanned woman. She was beautiful in her own right; almost as beautiful as her sister in fact. She wore overt sex appeal reminiscent of Shampoo like a cloak; save the fact that Urd was a woman's woman and Shampoo a child in her shadow. Regardless, it didn't change the facts, and he returned her stare in it's fullest measure. "That was before I knew. Now I do and I want _out_."

The Goddess of the past all but growled her disapproval, but Ranma held his ground where even demons dared to tread across her wrath. Both glared at one another until Belldandy's soft voice interrupted the silent cold war. "Am... Am I not good enough? I can try-"

"What?" Ranma's frosty countenance broke instantly, his face suddenly full of emotion as he beheld the long haired blond-brunette. he shook his head emphatically, completely ignoring Urd now. "No way! You're perfect, Bell-chan! I mean, part of this is my fault for makin' the stupid wish."

"But you said-"

"You ain't the reason I want out," Ranma smiled at her. It was a smile few had ever seen and it would have been enough to make the other women in his life very jealous had they been there to see it turned upon another. The smile, however, was only a brief visitor on his face as the Saotome continued, hardened determination setting in its place. "I want out because you don't have a choice and I know damn well what that's like."

"But we can get to know one another," The Goddess of the Present smiled, satisfied to know that she wasn't the sum total of his rejection. Still his obstinance was troubling to say the least. "I'm sure in time-"

"I got experience in that too," Ranma shook his head with a self depreciating chuckle. "And I ain't about to drag another person down that road either."

Urd continued to stare over her sister's shoulder, but it had been transformed... It was no longer one of barely contained indignation for the mortal that was claiming he was too good for her baby sister. It was now a mask of absolute incredulity once more and there was little more to do than watch as the drama unfolded before her.

"But I have accepted this," Belldandy explained with a selfless smile and took his hands in hers, all but entrancing him with her own exquisite beauty. "It was fated that you would wish us together and it's a role I will treasure. There could be no other outcome."

"I... I, um..." Ranma felt the heat creep up his features and it was all he could do to keep a silly smile from spreading across his face. It would have too, if not for one very important consideration. "Look, I... That's... gotta be the nicest thing anybodies ever said to me... but..."

He withdrew his hands from hers and only a faint trace of the previous warmth remain about his person now. "...But no matter how ya sugar coat this, you're being forced ain't that ain't alright by me. Not by a long shot. So I need to ask you or whosoever's got control of the force thing to turn it off. We either do it the easy way, or we do it the hard way."

"You_ can't_ turn the ultimate force off..." Urd shook her head, still stunned by what the boy was proposing. It was _impossible_. Granted, kami-sama theoretically could, but he never had done so in her considerable life time, nor did she know of anybody who was around if he had. The wish was completely self sustaining now, processed by the yggrasil and handed off to the Ultimate Force to execute.

Ranma's eyes scrutinized Urd and her testimony, then turned a softer version back upon Belldandy for confirmation. The goddess simply shook her head. "It is.. impossible, Ranma-kun."

With those words, something in Ranma Saotome changed. It was barely definable and its only external indicator was the expression on his face, which slipped into a solid, no nonsense frown. If that hadn't been enough indication of his new business like demeanor, then his next words absolutely were.

"The hard way it is, then."

* * *

**Chapter 01**

"**K**ami-sama will see you now," The brunette secretary goddess smiled, motioning to the only other exit from the waiting room she had entered. Lind nodded, setting the magazine she had been browsing back onto an ivory pillar and stepped up to the simple door, taking the brass knob in hand and pushing through into a world of light. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the brilliance and she stepped out onto a platform that hunging into open air, surrounded by pure white clouds, blue skies and all of heaven below.

This was far from her first on the balcony, however and she gave the view a only a cursorily glance before taking to the floating steps that would ultimately spiral into a massive billowing cloud bank that loomed overhead. It was a short climb through the corridor of cumulonimbus(bah) and it was only a minutes later that she found herself facing the creator, lounging in well padded executive black leather. Around him hovered a number of holographic displays, but it wasn't those that drew her attention now... It was the sky. It was still a pure, crystal blue, but today an arc of symbology traced across it like a gold chain. beyond those another arc floated lazily at another angle and beyond those, another. Each and every one of the nearly innumerable lines shared a single thing in common and that was the symbology flashing through them, seemingly at random, though occasionally her eyes would pick out static glyphs, refusing the shift like it's brethren.

"An attack," Kami-sama supplied, and Rind's eyes snapped back onto the back of the creator's chair. "What you see in the sky are the keys to a door; This reality. The symbols, their combination lock."

Rind's eyes wandered back up to the golden threads encircling the sky like an electron shell. Somewhere- perhaps in the seventh or eight layer up, one of the millions of holographic runes suddenly flared brightly and ceased its cycling. The glow faded and unlike its cousins, remained static. Realization came to her suddenly and she focused back on kami-sama with alarm. "They're forcing the lock."

"Completely random, but effective nonetheless," He elaborated heavily. Another bright light flared as yet another symbol locked. "Someone is defying my edict to keep to keep the realms separate and they must be stopped."

The Valkyrie nodded with the sentiment, already prepared to carry out her lord's will. "What must be done, Kami-sama?"

"They are after somebody, or rather someone," He explained, waiving his hand and conjuring a new Yggdrasil interface into existence. This one all but dominated the sky and upon it, the face of a black haired, blue eyed japanese boy. The corner held an inset picture of a girl of similar age also sporting blue eyes but preternaturally red hair. "Ranma Saotome, seventeen year old heir to an obscure school of martial arts. Certainly not a bad person. Rather good, as a matter of fact, though a bit of a rogue."

"Is he the cause of this?" Rind asked, committing the face to memory. "And how is the girl involved?"

"The girl is also Satome, afflicted by a minor gender curse," Kami-sama remarked, continuing. Rind hadn't even blinked at the fact as he did so. "While I do not think he is directly responsible for this... _incursion_, power is being invested in this child and the strands of fate tangle in his presence. The connection is impossible to ignore any longer."

Rind simply nodded. "Your will, Lord?"

"He shall be removed from the corporeal realm," The creator decreed. "You shall carry out the task. If he should be found blameless upon resolution of this matter I shall reinstate him personally. If not, he shall be remanned to Hild's tender mercies. Until either outcome, Saotome-kun is to be our guest."

"Of course, High One," The Valkyrie inclined her head subserviently. "Will their be anything else?"

Silence held the question for a moment as Kami-sama deliberated internally before coming ot a descision. "Yes, as a matter of fact. Ranma is a martial artist; formitable in his own right made all the more formitable by the storm brewing around him."

He waited for Rind to indicate her understanding before continuing. "Be mindful of the souls around you, but should he decide to resist, you are authorized to use any means nessisary to bring him into custody."

* * *

"**I**s it yakisoba?" Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts asked curiously, staring at the dish his part time fiancee had slid in front of him. The rest of the family stared as well, thankful that the girl had yet to dole portions of the long, stringy, noodle like substance to themsleves yet. Instead, they watch Ranma watch his portion with a forced smile.

"Of course, not!" Akane shook her head, cheerful by any yardstick the martial artist had to measure. She was undoubtably quite satisfied with her performance in the kitchen and who was he to crush that enthusiasm? "No, really. What do you think?"

"It's... colorful," Ranma nodded sincerely, attempting to keep his answers as truthful as possible without alinating the youngest Tendo. "There's red... and blue... It's... Um, yeah. It's that."

"Try some!" The rounded compliments only served to encourage the Tendo further and Ranma stared at the girl as if she had grown a second head.

"Try some," He repeated and she nodded happily. _As if that's gonna happen_, he decided from within the mental privacy of his own mind. _It'll kill quicker than I can blink. Hell, I don't even know what it is... Like a gummy worm chowmein_. The pig tailed boy's eyes continued to study the dish, trying to disern the best way to assault it. _Eatin' it slowly would probably keep me alive, though it'd stretch out the torture. Maybe some of Picolet's moves will-_ He paused in his metal stratigizing, suddenly noting the looks of horror on the faces of the family members around him, and Ranma didn't even bother looking back at his fiancee.

"I said all that out loud, didn't I?" All four people nodded as one and an angry red glow erupted from beside him. Finally Ranma looked up, beholding the Destroyer of Kitchens in all of her elemental fury. Nabiki, Kasumi, Soun and Genma were already backing away from the table when she wound up with the fist.

"RANMA NO-"

_Knock knock knock._

Akane blinked, her anger stalled for that singular moment while her mind tried to decided which was more important... Pounding one supremely annoying martial artist into the earth or at least trying to maintain the image of normalcy about their household in front of strangers.

"Oh, I'll get it," kasumi replied happily, as if her baby sister hadn't about to create a Ranma shaped hole in the dining room wall. Akane looked from Ranma, over to kasuami, and back to Ranma as if not completely decided on the matter and it wasn't until her sister reached the hallway did she unball her fist. She favored her fiancee with a final malevolant look before pulling the late of prismatic noodles away from him; as if he were some how no longer deserving of them.

Ranma sighed as she returned the dish to the kitchen and watched as nabiki simply smirked at him whime his own father scowled. "You two should be past this petty squabbling by now."

"Yeah, and she should be able to boil water by now without burnin' it," The martial artist rolled his eyes. "Can't get everything we want, can we?"

"My daughter is certianly trying her best, Ranma," Soun added sternly. "The least you can do is-"

"Try as much of it as you did?" Ranma arched an eyebrow. He knew the games too damn well by now and playing the same one was getting old.

"That's not the point, Ranma-kun," Soun continued as if the point were completely inconsequential. "Soon you'll be one another's husband and wife-"

"That could be wife and wife," nabiki quipped with a bemused expression, casuing Ranma to scowl. "Speaking of which, are you going to wear the dress next wedding or is Akane?"

"Would look better on me, i suppose," Ranma reversed the barb with uncharcteristic humor, causing the parents to blanch and forcing a mental studder on Nabiki's part in one fel swoop.

"Hmmf," Akane grumped as she returned from the kitchen and Nabiki's smile returned. "As if I'm-"

"It's for you Ranma!" kasumi called back from the hallway, allowing him the out he needed to make a quick getaway before hostilities resumed. Even as he caught sight of another female figure in the doorway, Kasumi brushed by him. "Another fiancee, Ranma-kun?"

"I knew it!" The accusation rang at his back and the martial artist pressed forward, ignoring the charge and focusing their visitor as he closed on the door.

_Cute,_ _martial artist, kasumi's probably right_, Ranma decided as he studied the woman with light blue hair. _Forehead tatoo probably means a specific branch, but damned if I know which one... carryin' around a lot of power, too._ Having learned everything he could from the girl just standing there, he decided to get the preliminaries out of the way. "Uh, you ain't a fiancee are you?"

The woman cocked her head curiously but shook her head. "No. I'm sorry but i must ask you accompany me."

_As if,_ Ranma smirked mentally and put his hands into his pockets to affect nonchalance. his first guess would have been Amazon, but the her clothing was way off them; The white body suit with streamers of fabric completely off from any he knew. _And yellow eyes too,_ he noted silently. "How about you tell me who you are first?"

"If i must," She ageed, all but surprising him with how easily the answer came forth. "I am Rind, Goddess First Class, Catagory One, Unlimited, Special Duty. Kami-sama has requested I take you into custody."

"Oh, that's a good one," Nabiki stepped up behind the pigtailed boy with a sarcatic edge to her voice. "You just happen to come out of nowehere on a mission from God to take Ranma away with you. Would this mission involve a romantic night over dinner, by any chance?"

"I would not-"

"Of course not," nabiki shook her head with a sardonic expression. "And I'm sure it would not include a pact made by one Genma Saotome, nor would you be expecting Ranma's hand in marrige. As Ranma's manager, I expect-"

"Sleep," The supposed goddess commanded, pushing her finger into the girl's forehead softly. Nabiki's eyeballs crossed in tracking the finger, then promptly rolled into the back of her head upon contact, sending the girl to the floor like a sack of rice. Ranma watch nabiki slump to the floor unconcscious, then stared at woman, then back to nabiki, who was all but curled around his feet now.

"Wait, there's a pressure point there?" Ranma Saotome stared, then turned back to the stranger looking impassively at him. He studied her for another moment before shaking his head. "Look, you know I've wanted to do that for a long time, but ya can't just go around puttin' people to sleep like that..." He looked back down at the middle Tendo sister who had commensed to drooling on herself. "...Even if it is Nabiki."

"I must insist you come with me," Lind pressed, stepping out of the doorway to allow Ranma passage to the outside. Behind him, the rest of the family was just realizing one of their own family had simply stopped working. He ignored their protests and cries of surprise for the moment and affected an indifferent shrug, walking out into the daylight at the woman's prompting.

"So where we going?" The pigtailed boy asked casually as the white clad woman lead the way through the courtyard, purposely allowing the distance between them to lengthen with each step.

"Asgard," She replied without looking back. "You would know it as heaven."

"Great and all, I guess, but what if I don't want to go?" Ranma hazarded, only mildly curious as to just how far the woman would take her charade.

The continued to walk even though Ranma had stopped completely. "Kami-sama has ordered to you to be detained until he current situation has passed. Please don't..." The blue haired woman suddenly stopped, as if realizing something. She turned finding the martial artist casually awaiting her notice five meters behind her. "...I see."

Ranma nodded, almost sympathetically. "Yeah, well. Sounds like a real nice place and all, but I'm going to have to skip it for now, y'know?"

For the first time, Lind cracked the slightest of smiles. "Indeed. Would it persuade you to perhaps know that I am authorized to use force for in order to obtain your cooperation?"

"Aw, now that only makes it more interesting," Ranma smirked and waited for what would undoubtedly be the woman's opening move in mere moments.

Lind nodded, brushing a locke of light blue hair from her eyes. "Then prepare yourself."

That was the only warning he got as the girl suddenly blurred into nearly impossible speeds, barely allowing the martial artist to utilize even a fraction of a second's worth of the adrenaline suddenly spiking through his system to evade the open handed strike that suddenly appeared where his torso had only just been. The inital surprise completely deprived Ranma's brain of a counter, but he had already mentally rebooted by the time he recovered from the wild roll out, instantly recategorizing the fight and his tactics one the fly. The white clothed woman hadn't taken that second idly either, however and was already following him through the sliding recovery. With a series of simple kicks and and chops; the martial artist only staying ahead of them by the narrowest of margins.

So_nofabitch! _his brain screamed as another gust of wind billow by his face, his eyes barely tracking the strike while he retreated across the courtyard. There wasn't much finesse to her technique, but then again, she didn't need it, Ranma decided as he hastily weaved his way out of the yellow eyed woman's ferocious combinations. She had speed, power and a healthy dose of precision behind those strikes, and it was only nearly twelve years of non stop martial arts violence that kept him from taking one on the chin. Ranma had just begun to consider his counter attack when a white leg whipped in from the right side, it's boot slamming full on into the left side of his face.

The world flushed gray as his entire body whipped around with the force of impact, but training since the day one could walk had it's advantages and Ranma dropped his center of gravity on instinct alone, flattened out the spine and taking the follow-on punch to his gut in hand. The Saotome thanked God for the woman's predictability and yanked the woman's thrust through on it's own momentum, sending her spralling for the briedest fraction of a send. Yellow eyes opened in surprise and Ranma used his own continuing momentum to take to the air and land a brutal axe kick on the woman's back as she passed, sending Lind into a roll while the martial artist hit the earth in his own slide. His inertia bled away in a cloud of dust, and he brought himself upright, adjusting a sore jaw with his left hand while noting the woman standing opposite of him, five meters way and waiting patiently for his recovery.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes**  
More AMG. Different slant on this one, though. Slightly darker and more along the lines of a deathgeonous fic... Probably a measure of inspiration from him too since I do have a a secret fondness for well written overpower fics. Since I know he's reading this, he should get a good editor and get back to writing some of them :o Well, him and cloud dreamer. And mrthou. and sinom bre. And hey, while I'm using a chapter as a political soapbox, DCG should get off his ass and write again too. But hey, I can do this becuase my usual contractual obligations toward quality don't extend deductibles for crap.

Nothing but love, people. _ANY_way... Ranma obvious inserts foot in mouth causing an AU scenario with Belldandy bound to him the Keiichi would have, which Ranma doesn't take well too. He's already done the involuntary fiancee thing and sets to break the wish. This cascades into him overthrowing his universes heaven and setting his Belldandy on the path to free Ranma anywhere/when until she finally arrive in our Ranma's home dimension. Each free Ranma collapses into The One. And forces unite to try and bring him down. Doncha love the smell of overpower in the morning? Smells a lot like_ crap._


	11. Half Contact

**Half Contact**  
By Ozzallos

"**C**'mon, Ranma! If you want dinner, you're gonna need to catch it first!"

To point, Genma Saotome, current master of the Anything Goes school of Martial Arts tossed his six year old son a cocky grin, then took a hunk out of the apple he had been using to bait the child. Ranma Saotome's eyes widened as half of his fruit suddenly disappeared into the maw of his father's mouth, then lunged to prevent any further loss.

Genma smiled with the attack, easily side stepping just enough to stay ahead of the boy's strikes while simultaneously appraising the controlled response the boy was employing. The black haired child was a martial arts dervish, far too skilled than any boy his age had any right in being though well within his father's abilities to evade.

"Faster, boy!" Genma demanded, taking another bite of the apple to encourage the youth. Another punch combination blew by the father and Ranma took to the air, attempting to knock the apple out of his father's hand with a roundhouse kick. Genma pulled the fruit bearing hand away at the last possible moment, allowing the boy's foot to catch little more than empty air. "You left yourself open, Ranma!'

"Not this time, pop!" The boy cried, intercepting the simple punch with both hands then pushing off and up to greater height. Ranma continued his offensive, forcing to Genma to take a hasty stem back and defend with the same hand he had punched with or take his son's combination on the chin. The attack lost momentum quickly and the pony tailed martial artist fell back to Earth, only to be caught up in his father's leg sweep as he hit the ground. "ACK!"

"Told you, boy," Genma chortled, finishing off the apple and dropping core in front of Ranma. The boy grumbled as he rose back to his feet, staring first at the eaten prize, then glaring at his father. the balding parent continued, oblivious to his son's angst and produced another apple from seeming thin air. "A true martial artist must be able several moves ahead to overcome his opponent."

The glare persisted for a moment before realization sank in. The child blinked. "Like when we play Go?"

"Exactly," Genma nodded sagely, glad that his son had made the connection so quickly. Granted, the boy had yet to win their Go matches either, but now that he had some physical and mental tools to work with, it was time to bring his attention to the fact. "Every technique you employ as a martial artist is a move, and you use those moves to win against your opponent."

Ranma simply nodded, filing the martial arts related fact away before turning his attention to a more important topic. "Can I have an apple now?"

"Did you catch me?" The boys scowl returned and he made a wild lunch at his father, who declined to engage his offspring this time. Genma hopped just out of range and turned toward the village they had been traveling toward for the last three days. "So it's a game of tag you want? Touch me and the apple's yours!"

"HEY!" Ranma protested as his father ran off at a lazy run. The boy tore off after the man as patronizing laughter echoed behind him. Pedestrians along the sidewalk simply stared as a middle aged man clad in a karate gi ran from a similarly dressed child, taunting him with the apple as they progressed deeper into the suburbs. the pair hopped over cars and fences in their game of tag before Ranma watched Genma duck around a corner. His son lurched around the same corner only second behind his father and slid to a halt with a frustrated look on his face.

Six year old blue eyes consumed every detail of the street he had just stepped on to, then looked back behind him. None of that detail contained his father, who had completely disappeared.

_Again._

"Aw, nuts," Ranma sighed, then resigned himself to continue a significantly more difficult search on an empty stomach.

Genma Saotome, current master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts whistled an innocent tune as he walked the sidewalks of Yamaguchi, Japan sans his offspring. Losing the boy had been a simple task, though it wasn't sum total of his intent. Having the boy find him, however, was. _Good stamina training_, The martial artist chuckled as his eye caught a well dressed pedestrian walking in the opposite direction. _Suit, tie; probably an office manager_, Genma surmised and angled through the sidewalk crowd to ensure he would brush by his mark. _Nice watch, platinum ring_, he continued to catalog the manager's details as they close the last few meters; the man's attention completely focused on the leather bound dayplanner he was consulting. Genma reached up to adjust his glasses and they passed both seemingly completely oblivious to the other's presence.

The martial artist, however, was not, and his hand finished adjusting the glasses riding his nose, dropping back to his side with a wallet, ring and watch in hand; all quickly disappearing within the folds of his gi with a smirk. Eventually the boy would catch up to him and earn his dinner, but not before he secured their room and board for the night. Genma passed street vendor selling chicken teriaki right off the grill and Genma's hand blurred once more as the old man turned to collect another patron's change. Two of the stick born meals promptly evaporated from the grill as the balding martial artist passed, prompting the owner to do a double take, then turn his ire upon the nearest target. Genma chuckled as a shouting match erupted between the owner and his nearest patron, ensuring his own meal would continue uninterrupted as he meandered along.

_I'll give the boy fifteen more minutes,_ The Saotome decided, wandering down the street while composing his thoughts. The dojo he had originally come to the area for had been a bust; in no way, shape or form worthy of his heir in spite of the word of mouth that had drifted to his ears. Ranma had destroyed all the students his age, and while the dojo's master was eager to take him on as a pupil, genma was convinced it would be a one way street. The Guuchi Ryu dojo would benefit from Ranma's skill and prestige while Ranma himself would largely stagnate for his stay.

_Maybe Fukuoka next,_ The balding martial artist shrugged as he mentally check off the next destination on his itinerary. _At least there's a-_

"I must insist you let me pass."

The calm feminine voice floated from the alley he was passing, immediately followed by raucous laughter. "Hear that guys? The lady would like ta pass."

"We gonna let her, Shojo?" Laughter answered the question and Genma paused at the mouth of the alleyway where other passers by were pointedly ignoring the commotion.

"I say she's gonna have to give us somethin'," A snickering reply came and Genma mentally counted off the woman's antagonists when something tugged at his gi. The martial artist blinked, turning to suddenly find Ranma at his side, staring curiously.

Genma nodded silently, proud that the boy had already picked up on the gravity of the situation. Not that the five in the alley presented any sort of challenge, but the fact that Ranma had perceived the situation filled him with a swell of pride.

"Stay here, Boy. Your old man needs to teach some thugs some lessons on how to treat a woman," He advised, gaining a nod from the Ranma.

Genma crooked a slight grin and stepped fully into the mouth of the alley, ready to dispense his brand of martial arts justice. He was quite surprised, therefore, to watch as the woman initiated her own. She was foreign by his estimation, and he watched her hand flash up and snatch the first thugs hand twisting it around and breaking it with a crack that Genma recognized as the wrist joint buckling. She profiled into him and flipped the punk down to the ground in a flowing maneuver that caused Genma paused.

The joint lock had looked to be a Judo opener, but the quick step inside her attacker's guard and subsequent throw was anything but. Three quick two finger jabs into the teen's torso rendered him completely inert before the others had even thought to react. Almond eyes quickly flicked over to his person before moving to her next target who was finally bring the aluminum baseball bat to bear. _Asian? Some Chinese-Japanese mix? And what form of martial arts is she..._ Genma's study of the woman was broken by the ruffian's swing of the bat which was promptly caught... And _held_. The teen's eyes bulged as the woman withstood the blow calmly, staring at him as he attempted to yank the bat back into his possession. It might as well have been rooted in cement and woman simply reached over, grabbed the area between his neck and left shoulder, then squeezed.

Genma blinked as the thug suddenly went limp and fell to the ground, leaving her retaining possession of the bat.

"What... What the hell!" One of the punks took a hasty step back, and two remaining cohorts quickly followed. One pulled a knife and Genma had had enough.

"A knife? Seriously?" The sudden new voice caused the teens to spin around to find the stocky martial artist entering the ally at a lazy walk. Unlike the woman opposite of them, he simply radiated threat. "I think its time you girlie men hit road before..." Genma cracked his knuckles menacingly, and their individual pops echoed menacingly in the alley. "...before the road hits _you_."

One of the remaining teens broke outright, whimpering as he edged around Genma to run out into the open street. The other two remained, uncertainty clearly manifesting in their eyes, but not enough to give way to the mantra of survival screaming through their brains. The knife wielding thug remained, his attention town between the woman with two bodies at her feet and the man double his mass. The second teen's through process was apparently more decisive. He slipped a pair of brass knuckles onto his fingers and lunched at the encroaching martial artist. Genma Saotome brushed the lunge aside easily and simply buried a fist in the punk's gut. the kid's eyes bulged as the air in his lungs was forced out explosively, doubling him over across the martial artist's arm before rolling to the ground in doubled over agony.

The act prompted the teen with the knife to take his own swing at the martial artist. He pulled forward and suddenly his arm jerked to a stop with enough force to almost jerk it out of its socket at the shoulder. A sharp pressure was registered along his left forearm and the thug glance back to find it in the woman's grasp. The teen moved to extricate himself when the pain doubled, forcing him to his knees with a yelp.

"Discard the knife or I may find it necessary to break your arm."

Little emotion leaked from the woman's even demeanor, but the boy held on to the weapon regardless. Genma walked up to the boy, shaking his head before turning a cold stare down at the teen thug. "And after she's done, It's _my_ turn."

The punk gulped and the knife clattered to the ground. The woman released her grip and the teen scrambled up, sprinting past the pair for the mouth of the alley. Genma snorted his amusement, turning back to the olive skinned woman who was already gathering the grocery bags she had been forced to drop in the altercation.

She stared at him for a moment after she had done so and nodded. "While your intervention was unnecessary, the gesture was appreciated nonetheless."

_Unnecessary, huh?_ Genma arched a skeptical eyebrow with her words, but shrugged. True, she didn't look like much, but the way she held her attackers off spoke of some training; some art even he didn't recognize. _And that pressure point thing she was using..._ He pushed the thoughts aside for later examination. "Of course, it's a martial artists duty to..."

Genma's voice trailed off as she simply walked past him, calmly stepping over their mutual victims. The balding martial artist trailed behind her, trying to decide what to make of her complete dismissal of his assistance until she stopped at the mouth of the alley, staring at the gathering crowd. Genma followed her gaze and couldn't help but to smile.

"They tried to get away, Pop."

Ranma simply sat in the middle of the crowd, using the two thugs that had attempted to escape as his unconscious sidewalk cushions while his father simply chuckled. The martial artist turned around to the woman. "This is my son-"

Genma Saotome looked around the crowd, blinking. The woman was gone.

* * *

**T**hose that knew Genma Saotome would universally agree that the man himself was the embodiment of sloth. He was seen to work as little as possible, often wheeling and dealing in order to accomplish that goal or, more often than not, fill his stomach. Instrumental in that self serving goal of laziness and sustenance was his son, and more than a few of those acquaintances had found out just how the martial artist used his offspring in order to obtain his petty aspirations.

As such, the Anything Goes master could count his real friends on a single hand, but those friends knew that while all of the former was true, there was much more to the lazy exterior he projected to the world at large. Few would suspect the man looking to take the easy way out of most circumstances was, if fact silently driven in matters considered of importance. The betterment of the art was one of those matters. His only child was another.

Those concepts were also the reason why he had been patiently stalking a certain woman of slight build and mix asian heritage. It wasn't that she was particularly attractive, though her sharp, olive tinted features definitely erred on the exotic side. She was certainly well endowed, which prompted considerable attention from those she passed, but that wasn't the reason he had tracked her over the past two days either.

In short, she had something he wanted.

The woman had an art that he had never seen. more than that, she had an effective art, something that he hoped could be taught to his boy if she could be persuaded to demonstrate it willingly. If not, there was always the tried and true method of provoking her. The latter method wouldn't be quite as effective, but Ranma was a quick child and could fill in the gaps if necessary.

Genma moved through the crowd easily, keeping a good twenty meters between himself and the woman while she moved amongst the various stalls, collecting fruits and vegetables from the various vendors in the area. She loitered in the area for another fifteen minutes while the martial artist studied her, planning the best approach that would meet his needs only to have his thoughts cut off as she continued on down the sidewalk.

_Find out where she lives, have a talk with her and see if she's willing,_ he decided, watching her round the corner into a side street. Genma followed, pausing at the corner for a few moments before rounding it himself. A frown enveloped his face as he attempted to reacquire his target, who had completely disappeared.

_Son of a bitch,_ The Anything goes master grumbled as the realization that he himself had been duped sank in. he trotted down the side street, eyes darting left and right for any sign of the woman who had evidently known she was being followed. The balding martial artist snorted to himself with the revelation, both disgusted with himself for having lost the woman while congratulating himself on his instincts. Anybody who could dodge him was definitely worth his son's-

"Why are you following me?"

Genma's eyes widened and he spun around, finding the exotic woman staring at him from behind a dumpster he had passed... And ensured the area around it vacant. She wore a simple black and brown dress that fell to her calves. the woman stood in a rather unassuming posture that set Genma on edge, seeing that his entire art was based on misdirection and similarly unassuming postures. Instead of panicking, the martial artist pasted an equally unassuming smile.

"I was just making sure those thugs left you alone," he shrugged, hoping to inspire some mote of gratitude in the woman. She arched a skeptical eyebrow back at him instead and persisted in a silent stare until he broke. "I, um... That is..."

"Please desist in your covert observations or i will be forced to summon the authorities," She advised the martial artist evenly, causing his eyes to widen. She turned back down the street to walk past Genma and he panicked as his a valuable resource to his boy's training began to remove herself from his presence.

And a stealth technique! his brain screamed, prompting him to further action. "But, Miss, wait!"

The woman paused without looking back. Genma took the action as what was more than likely his last opportunity to plead his case. "I am a wandering martial artist, a master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. I'm sure you noticed my son last Wednesday?"

The woman partially turned back to him with a guarded countenance, nodding. The father continued hastily. "As my heir, i have been training him since he has been able to walk in my art. part of that art is the infusion of other martial arts into a single supremely flexible style."

The woman cocked her head, still maintaining her all business demeanor. "And what does this have to do with your interest in me?"

"As I mentioned I am a master of the Art," Genma continued with more confidence now that he had his proverbial foot in the door. "I know techniques exotic and mundane and have yet to stumble across the style you practice. In short, I would like to expose my boy to your art."

The woman arched her eyebrow once more, taking on a slightest edge of uncertainty. "Indeed."

"Indeed!" Genma nodded and swung back into the offensive. "Perhaps even train him, if you're willing. I can compensate you for your time, of course. The boy himself will carry his own weight if you need any tasks needing done."

The woman seemed to think on this for several minutes while the martial artist all but screamed at her mentally to accept. After another full moment, the woman simply nodded warily. "We will meet. I make no guarantees beyond that."

* * *

**Crapspace Note**  
This one was actually kind of cute... For crap. Once again, there is no polishing a turd. Ranma meets a vulcan as a kid during the training mission, who study him and teach him a few things. No, this isn't Ranma!vulcan AU but it would explain part of his genius during fights, etc. And one day, the vulcan he was engaged to comes back to Earth for an early first contact and specifically asks for Ranma. Hijinks ensue.


	12. Stardate Zero

**Stardate Zero**  
By Ozzallos

"Teeeenchiiii!"

Tenchi Misaki cringed as the lilting call found his ears, causing him to grip the shaft of his straw with slight tension. He didn't need to see the voice's owner to realize that Ryoko was on the prowl. In and of itself, her presence wasn't such a bad thing... After all, who wouldn't like and assertive woman who was easy on the eyes looking to seduce them on a regular basis? The Jurian heir sighed. Sure, she carried herself with an exotic beauty, but her presence usually instigated property damage on a massive scale. Even that wasn't so bad, save the fact her antic invariable drew Ayeka like a moth to the flame. Their feuds were the stuff of legends...

...and highly destructive.

"Oh, there you are, Tenchi!" Air displaced behind him and a pair of arms snake around him, pulling him into an affectionate hug that pressed a pair of perk breasts into his back. "I missed you Tenchi-kun!"

"Uh, Hi, Ryoko!"

The woman pushed further into him, leaning forward to the point where her warm breath tickled his left ear. "I _found_ you."

The throaty whisper combined with her proximity did indescribable things to his anatomy, things that would more than likely get him killed sooner or—

"I FOUND YOU!" Tenchi twitched with the screech and Ryoko sighed, turning to the source of the outrage. The enraged girl was found to be stomping up the stone shrine steps, burning an angry gaze into the now floating former space pirate. "I should have known, you… you…!"

"Beautiful temptress?" the cyan haired female posed, floating through the air and batting her eyes demurely. "Sexy woman? Future wife of Tenchi Masaki?"

"Tart! Hussey! Barbaric whore!" The princess blurted. "Azaka, Kamidake!"

"Yes, princess!" two mechanical voices intoned as one and Tenchi began to back a way as two wooden hulls materialized on each side of the purple haired princess. Both cylinders levitate to altitude, acquiring their mutual target. The teen immediately stopped dropped and rolled, thereby avoiding the initial salvo of energy fire aimed at the former space pirate. She cyan haired female dodged, drifting to the right and easily evading the detonation of fire and brimstone that suddenly turned the temple's hill side steps into twin craters of smoldering earth.

"Is that the way you want to play it, hmmm, Princess?" Ryoko asked rhetorically and pointed her palm down range. And angry orange orb manifested itself within her grasp and she flicked it back toward her agressor. Ayeka didn't even flinch and the bolt crackled off the linked forcefield phasing around her. Ryoko scowled and prepared her next attack-

WHoooOOOSH!

The stilleto lines of a Galaxy Police frigate blew across the shrine hill's tree line in that instant, it's belly scraping away some of the taller trunks and engulfing the trio in a in a gale as it passed overhead at high speed. Ryoko right her flying tumble, declining to be sucked into it's wake and tenchi flattened against the steps the best he could while the whirlwind raged around him. Ayek staood fast in the protective bubble of her shielding, eyes tracking the frigate as it continued on for another kilometer than seemingly lost power, dropping out of the sky abruptly into the horizon. Even Ryoko winced at the resulitng gyzer of water exploded violently several hundread feet into the air.

"At least she got the lake this time." Ryoko shook her head, flaoting along side Ayeka while idly wondering just what sort of mental disconnect prvented the woman from making a nice normal landing.

"She does seem to be a bit more reckless than usual." Ayeka cocked her head, staring down the ships path of travel as well. "Usually her approach is a tad more..."

"Angular, Princess?" The protective hull known as Azaka supplied, prompting the princess to nod.

"Indeed... Oh, Tenchi-sama!"

Ryoko's yellow slits were instantly tracking the teen's run down the temple steps and sighed, already knowing her fiancee hopeful's train of thought. "Guess we had better go see if the blonde ditz is all right too..."

Both Princess and Ex-Space Pirate were after their would be fiancee and found the object of their pursuit at the lakes edge five minutes later watching a richly tanned blonde in uniform exiting a hatch of her half submerged Galaxy Police frigate. Blue eyes caught sight of tenchi on the water's edge and she threw him a smile accompanied by a crisp salute. "Galaxy Police Detective First Class Mihoshi Kuramitsu reporting as- waa... WAAAHH!"

SPLASH!

It was Tenchi's turn to wince at the detective as her starship shifted in the water, sending the woman terminally off balance and into the water with her own splash. The girl flailed helplessly in the water for a few moments before realizing her feet could touch the silty bottom then waded out to the shoreline. Once on solid land, she began to fret over her uniform, wringing the baggier parts out while the trio watched incredulously.

"Uh... Mihoshi...?"

"Oh!" The blue eyed woman blinked several times, retracing the turn of events and her reason for being there. "Detective first class Mihoshi-"

"We got that already!" Ryoko snapped, glaring at the blonde impatiently. "Get to the point!"

The clueless blinking began anew before thought reasserted itself, test Ryoko's patience further. "Right! I have a sealed communication from the Crown for Tenchi-kun!"

"Well what does it say?" Ayeka asked, watching as the detective pulled the cylindrical communications scroll from behind her back. The Princess reached for it and Mihoshi pulled it back protectively.

"My orders clearly state that it is for Tenchi-kun's eyes only."

Tenchi stepped forward tepidly taking the scroll for himself. It was the first time he had ever received a seal communication from what amounted to the king and queen of Jurai, effective his great great grandparents. He stared at for a moment before cocking his head curiously. "Uh, how do I turn it on?"

"Voice print acknowledged. DNA acknowledged." A digitized voice issued from the scroll itself, causing the teen to nearly drop it on the spot. "Tenchi Masaki, acknowledged. Do you wish to view scroll contents?"

"Uh, sure." A magnetic lock on the scroll released with his concent, allowing Tenchi to pull open the scroll. once it had been pulled open so far, it shocked him again by locking open and projecting a hologram into open air. Jurian seal now featured prominently flaoting before him.

"Warning," The digital voice continued in a more serious tone and everybody around Tenchi watched curiously. "The contents of this communicque is considered eyes only, viewable only by those chosen within the royal line. Unauthroized viewing constitutes treason as outline in the Royal Accords."

"Hey Tenchi, are we authorized to watch?" Ryoko asked with a sweet edge of sarcasm, prompting a shrug from the Prince.

"I don't see why not?" He decided, returning his attention to the scroll and the figure of his great great grandfather that had replaced the royal crest.

"Tenchi Masaki, Prince of Jurai," The holographic king greeted in his narration. "I greet you in the name of family and the empire and bear exiciting news: With the increased exposure to extra-terran groups- speicifcally, those associated with your activities -we feel it is time to lift on The ban on terran space is to be lifted and Earth is to be brought fully into the jurian fold..."

"What?" Ayeka's head jerked up sharply as her attention focused accutely on the monologue. Even Ryoko was staring intently now as the king continued.

"To assist in this assimilation, a colonization fleet is being is being assembled and provisioned," The Jurian leader smiled broadly. "And _you _will be instrumental in that process..."

Tenchi blinked. "I will?"

"Having grown up on Earth and being a Jurian prince, you have a unique perspective, one we expect you to use once you assume your newest position as Prince of Terra."

"WHAT?" Tenchi's eyes nearly bugged out with the proclamation and even Ayeka and Ryoko were staring at the smug monarch now.

"Assembly of the colonization fleet you will oversee upon their arrival is estimated to take nearly five earth years," Azusa Jurai pressed forward inspite of his incredulous audience. "Your task in the meantime will be to transition the native governments power structure to one in compliance with the Throne of Jurai. If your past performance is any indication, we already know you will make our people proud."

His image faded with the last word, leaving Tenchi all but shell shocked, staring out into the space where the king had been, but not truely seeing anything. Mihoshi leaned in with a pensive expression, waving a hand in front of his face. "Um, Tenchi-kun?"

"Shit, they broke him," Ryoko frowned likewise, removing the scroll gently from his hands. "C'mon, Ayeka. Let's get him back to the house."

* * *

Katsuhito Masaki stroked the white hairs sprouting along his chin as the entire household watched the scroll play for the second time. a quick glance over to Tenchi revealed the teen to be quite tense, though wether that was mostly because of the girls hovering around him or the scoll was uncertain. In either case, his paternal grandfather was... concerned.

"It's not so bad, right?" Nobuyuki quried, uncertain as to why the mood seemed so... reserved. And the Jurai were so hyper advanced... surely that would be a good thing for Earth... But then why was the Ayeka child looking so unsure... and father so pensive?

"The crown tends to be... _assertive_ when it comes to annexing new territories, Nobuyuki-san." The purple haired princess persisted in her nuetral expression, her eyes flicking between him and the holographic king.

"So..?"

"So think of England before the turn of the century," Katsuhito replied softly. "An empire with the will and means to impose their culture on lesser ones by any means they see fit. One with enough power that earth could never hope to stand against it. The Americans and their Indian natives come to mind as well." It took a moment for the words to sink in and the father swallowed with an audible gulp as graying master swordsman continued. "They will be humane about it, of course, but your culture is little more than a novelty to the crown. Should they find it inconvient..."

"...It will be dispensed with," Ayeka finished, earning an agreeing nod from her one time fiancee. Silence pervaided the room as the full implications set in, specifically those for one Tenchi Masaki, who was still held in a state of semi shock. Designated Prince of Earth... to be assimalated into the empire of Jurai.

Katsuhito studied his grandson, who was in turn staring at the projection. It was an unenviable position. "So what will you do, Tenchi?"

"I... don't know. I'll talk to them, I guess." Tenchi broke away from the recording and the trance of sheer disbelief it had created. "Make them reinstate the no contact zone... I..don't think we're ready for this yet."

"Nor do I." The elder confirmed. "I will stand with you when your audience comes before the king. Ayeka too, if she is willing."

"Of... of course!" Ayeka nodded firmly. Behind her, Ryoko scowled.

"And what about me?"

"I fear the word of a reknowned space pirate, former or otherwise would prove a hinderance to the cause," Katsuhito shook his head, quickly adding to the statement as the cyan haired woman bristled. "Even knowing your considerable contribution to our stability here."

"Hmmf." Ryoko sniffed, but held her peace in sensing the man's sincerity. "Then I'll have to settle for being your taxi service... For a kiss."

She smiled sweetly at tenchi, who began to bead sweat. His reprieve came as a spikey red headed female entered the room, shaking her head with a somewhat smug counterance. "No need. As your resident super genius, I have already taken the liberty of setting up a super-luminal communications array direct to Jurai."

"Oh, thank you, little Washu," Tenchi smiled, reflecting on the fact that it was damn handy having a super genius in-

"Though that kiss sounds like an excellent idea." She speculated theatrically, putting a finger to her lips in contemplation. The red head then began to leer. "How about it, Tenchi? Just a little smooch?"

"Mom!"  
"Sh-Shameless!"

Both fiancees balked at once and Tenchi's smile weakened into nervousness. Washu let him stew for another moment before rolling her eyes. "Oh, poo. You're all no fun. My lab, ten minutes. We should be able catch the king before his afternoon tea time."

Tenchi nodded with determination, turning back to his grandfather for confirmation. Katsuhito returned the nod and Ayeka smiled, following the teen as he made a path for Washu's lab. Ten minutes later, the high school teen was almost wishing he hadn't as twenty thousand year old super genius strapped him into a table; binding hands and feet alike to immobility. Tenchi strained his head right and found Ayeka similarly bound struggling impotently against her bound while his grandfather merely lay on his table, waiting for them to finish.

"Uh, Little Washu? Why are we starpped in like- OW!" He winced as she pulled the left arm cuff tight. "Is this absolutely-"

"LET US GO, LITTLE WITCH!" Ayeka fumed, fusterated by her inability tummon her powers of guardians to her aid. She continued to writh on the bed top that had all the makings and hookups of a bad frankenstine movie. "You cannot have us believe that this is absolutely nessisary!"

"Nessisary?" Washu quirked an eyebrow then set a mischevious look. "Of course not, but it is alot more fun this way." She glanced back to the boy next to her smugly. "Isn't that right, tenchi-kun?"

Tenchi Masaki went limp, knowing that reason was a lost cause, as was struggling. The redhead wandered around the table and lowered the head piece ovr his cranium; a device that look like half a pan with wires and circuitry extruding from it. She fasened it into place with a chin strap then moved back over to the struggling Ayeka to lower hers. "But what does all this do?"

"Virtual reality!" Washu paused. "Oh, sure, I could open an interdimentional doorway directly onto Jurai itself, but that's child's play fo the smartest person in the entire universe. Beaming conciousness across a few thousand light years without your physical bodies ever leaving Earth? Now that's a challenge, wouldn't you agree?"

"I... Guess." Tenchi replied, througly deflated.

Katsuhito simply smiled politely and leaned back onto the table as the scientist finished up with the furious Ayeka and made her rounds to him. She dispensed with the straps and instead politely lowered the cranium unit deferentially onto the graying man's head before returning to a long bank of screens, dials and buttons. No sooner than she had stepped away did the princess begin to hyperventilate.

"Tenchi-sama you must do something!" She squealed, wreteching in her retraints. "Her device will do something unwholesome to us! You know it will! Remember what happened to the cat!"

Tenchi _did_ remember what happened to the cat. One moment it had been a cat resting on a table similar to the one they were strapped to now, the next it had another two legs, horns and scales in place of fur... Oh, and a _nasty_ disposition. With that thought fixed within his mined, he attempted to cock his head from the limited angle availible to him, sighting the redhead as she flipped switches and buttons across the panel at seemingly random. "Um, Little-Washu?"

"_Maximum power!_" The super genius crowed and swung a huge breaker open, instantly blasting the daylights out of one human and two Jurians. White light flashed against the insides of Tenchi's eyeballs and the teen suddenly flet as if he were being ripped in half and bodily flung across the room, save the fact the room now had stars, nebulas, planets and-

Trees. Tenchi blinkded as the motion suddenly ceased.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes**  
This would have eventially been another installment of Startrek crap. Yes, mixing Ranma, Tenchi and ST all in the same universe. You can blame this particular kick on dsywnne. I really should write a Ranma-Mihoshi fic one of these days. back to the crap, though, tenchi finds out his empire is annexing earth; literally the full scale colonization of the planet. This doesn't sit well and with the help of some friends- squeeze ranma and co in there somewhere -they rebel. Not one of the better ideas I've had and the constant back and forth on what role the Tenchi goddess' should play was enough to can the fic.


	13. Macross OneHalf

**Forward**: _While this fic mostly uses Macross continuity, I will be using several Robotech conventions to ease followers of the western series into the plot. For those looking for a down and dirty synopsis of the differences between the two canons, it simply comes down to bad guys: There are no Robotech Masters or Invid in Macross. At all. Anything beyond that I'll refer you to google and the assorted wiki pages floating in interweb ether. It also helps if you are familiar with Macross F._

**Macross .5**  
By Ozzallos

**T**he command deck rolled beneath Fleet Commander Misa Hayase' boots as a bright flash flooded the bridge before the viewport screens polarized, deflecting the majority of the yellow-white glare. She didn't need to ask for a status report, her ears telling her everything she needed to know as they picked through the keening of multiple alarms while her eyes picked out the crimson warnings over the shoulders of the officers around her. Their own displays flashed with digital panic and even though she wasn't seated at tactical, point defense, electronic warfare or any of the other stations, she knew what they were sounding off about...

"Main deflectors down!" An officer hollered as the high enrgy impact was ablated by the last of their energy shielding. "Switching to point defense grid!"

The Captain of the SDF-2 Megaroad 01 frowned bitterly, having already been in this exact same situation too many times to count, most- if not all of them -on the Megaroad's predecessor. "Time to fold threshold?"

"Five minutes, thirty-two second, ma'am!" Another voice to her right called out and Misa ran through the calculations, coming to the most obvious conclusion availible: They weren't going to make it.

Five minutes, thirty two seconds. _Not enough time_, she decided. Not even her line of fifty-eight capital ships of mixed Zentradi and Terran origin were going to hold off that... _swarm_ they had jumped into. They had originally gone in system with over _one hundred and eighty four_ ships of the line. The surveys came back clean. Even the initial recon fighter sweep had indicated nothing was amiss with what was looking to be the first promising colonization candidate in six years. Nothing, until the proximity warning tripped and hundreds- nearly _thousands_ of fold signatures opened up around them.

And then they came.

The _bugs_.

Organic Mecha. Fighters. Heavy capital ships. Out of _nowhere_. A quarter of her fleet died simply trying to extricate itself from the all consuming ambush. The other quarter had had fallen in the sprint through the fold fault that seemed to encompass the system and it's eight satellite worlds. Even now she tracked another battle cruiser as it fell out of formation, swarmed by smaller, absurdly powerful insectoid warships. The cruiser fell away, further out beyond the fleet's ability to compensate with anti fighter defense and an angry yellow ball claimed it moments later. She was Zentradi, Commander Hayase recognized somewhere toward the back of her mind as the rest occupied itslef with strategy and damage reports. _The Vantigua... Crew compliment four thousand three hundred and-  
_  
**BooooOOm!**

Only the chair restrain kept her from being knocked to the deck as the bridge pitched violently while relays overloaded in showers of white pyrotechnics. Main lighting flickered away for a moment before returning. She readjusted her posture and turned to her right where her executive officer, a Zentradi male with blue hair was stationed. "Tor?"

"Came in too fast for point defense three," he reported evenly, matching Misa's own matter of fact query. More alarms pitched across the confines of the bridge and were silenced. "One of the smaller bugs, dispatched by laser cluster twelve." Misa nodded and the Commander continued. "All fighter squadrons are reporting low on ordinance and are requesting clearance to land and rearm."

"Skull?"

On any other ship it would have been odd for the captain to single out one particular squadron from the multitude of fighter wings already having taken heavy casualties, but this wasn't any other ship. This was the SDF-2, captained by fleet commander Misa Hayase. If her record didn't speak for itself, that of her husband's did and he was out there right now with little more than a flexsteel fighter dodging particle beams that had already reamed vessels more imposing than his VF.

"Holding it's own, commander," Vor nodded. "Also requesting rearm clearance."

She held her silence for a moment, brushing a locke of brunette hair from her face and took in plate glass tactical plot directly in fron of her. It was a tide of red; red arrows chasing after numerically lesser blue ones with the line representing their salvation hanging less than five minutes out of reach. Five or five hundred, it still wasn't enough time. Another orange line ran along the plot, this one signifigantly closer to their position. The words "Intercept: 3:04" read across it. The time on the blue line read "Fold: 4:37."

In that moment, Commander Misa Hayase made her decision. "Clear all squadrons to rearm in waves, priority to numeric strength. Prepare to bring the fleet around on my mark."

Commander Tor's head snapped up from his own tactical display, muted surprise writ across his face. "Ma'am?"

"We're not getting out of this one." Misa pushed her chair brace aside and stood up, her face showing little emotion now. "But I'll be damned if they have much left after we're done with them. Wherever these bugs came from, we're not going to leave them a breadcrumb trail back to Earth."

Her executive favored her with a similar look for a moment before the slightest smirk crept along the left corner of his lips. "Aye, Ma'am. Comm, signal the fleet. This retreat ends_ now._"

"Sending!" a blond woman to his right returned, then glanced back over her shoulder. "Fleet acknowledging, Commander."

"Fighter wings setting down," Another voice behind them reported. "Deck crews commencing hot rearm!"

Another explosion rocked the superstructure upon which her bridge crew stood, but Commander Hayase stood fast, reaching down only to open her own personal comm to Skull Lead.

"...Hikaru? I.." Her voice faultered with an edge of sorrow. Static crackled for a moment before a voice replaced dead air.

"I know hun. Love you too." The line closed and a single tear traced down the fleet commander's cheek. It was not only for her own love, but the lives of nearly eighty thousand innocents she was about ready to sacrifice along with the SDF-2's own compliment of five thousand. She'd do anything to spare them if she could but time was a luxury they were in sore lack of. Launching their disaster beacon wasn't even an option at this point._ Anything that would lead the swarm back to an unprepared Earth..._

"Fighter wings report sixty percent, fleet standing by to re-engage." The blue haired executive officer cut in softly.

Misa Hayase took a deep breath and returned to the here and now and her finger hovered over the fleet wide command channel as she mentally assembled the last orders she was ever going to give when a warning beep cried out for attention. Misa cast a sidelong glance over to Tor, who interpreted the warnings on his display himself.

"Zenetradi elements falling out of formation," He reported as his commanding officer watched the tactical plot alter. "The Kortas. Shitaka. T'San. Vertii-"

Her finger stabbed the command channel. "Resume formation! Fleet defense won't be able to compensate-"

The tactical plot was suddenly washed away by a balding, gray skinned Zentradi, sporting a cranium mounted monocle over his right eye. His voice filtered through the faster than light comm with the slightest hiss of static, though his smug tone was still clearly evident. "An impressively noble gesture for a human, Fleet Commander, though you should leave the heroic sacrifice to the race better suited to it."

In the time it took for him to complete the sentence twenty eight ships had peeled off from her own group shown on a secondary screen, forming up into a wedge as they turned back into the insectoid maul. "Battle Commander Heraa, return to your station-!"

"Seventy thousand human and Zentradi reside in your hull, Fleet Commander." The Zentradi shook his head. "It is not a sacrifice we will allow you to make." He turned away from the viewer for a moment and switched languages. His voice took on a harsh edge. "Eir mor! si Jholi shor eidalali!"

Misa Hayase didn't even bother with the tactical plot any longer, instead picking out the short fleets bright blue exhaust plumes by naked eye from the bridge port. "All ships advancing to flank, twenty six Zentradi, eight Terran battleships."

The red tide suddenly shifted across the tactical plot with her Exec's report, orienting itself on the rogue fleet that was even now tightening its own formation. They were dead. Every last one of them. Dead to buy those precious few seconds. She would not let those seconds go to waste. "Commander, record the ships and their crew's names in my log. Battle Commander Heraa. It has been an honor to fight alongside you and yours."

"Sai si shoraes ael." The Zentradi officer nodded and cut the channel, replacing the tactical plot. The small group of arrows surged forward even as the horde began to encirle them.

Much as she wanted to lend her own firepower to the cause, she had now been left to tend to her own fleets survival. Commander Hayase stabbed the fleet wide command channel once more. "All ships, advance to emergency war power! All fighter wings, secure to stations!"

She turned to Tor with an expression of ice. "Order engineering to squeeze everything we have out of the reactors. _Burn them out._"

"Aye, ma'am," He nodded, turning back to his own station to issue the orders while she watched beyond the tactical plot and into a pocket of space, flickering with the discharge of high energy warfare, bubbling bright orange with the discharge of nuclear weapons. Two blue arrows blinked out of existance simutaneously, exchanging their demise for a score of red arrows.

"Time to fold threshold."

"Three minutes, fifteen seconds! Enemy continuing to mass on the Second Fleet!" One of her officers reported as battle cruisers took their limit of damage, breaching their reflex reactors and searing the black void with chaotic energy. Even as the timer ran past their previous time to demise, Commander Hayase couldn't help but to notice their enemies'... _unorthidox_ tactics. The bug machines had more than enough hulls to swarm the newly formed second fleet and utterly erase her own from existance. But they weren't. They were massing entirely on the Heraa's command, decimating it outright but failing to pursue the escaping ships.

"The Aries is falling behind... battle damage to foward inertial dampeners." Tor reported and Misa's eyes snapped to a nearby viewer that held the ship streaming atmosphere.

"Tell Captain Roanoke to abandon her." She ordered without hesitancy. "Shuttle her crew to the Asendant and scuttle her. I don't want to leave anything behind they can track back to Earth."

"Sending."

Another glance and she found the armrest chronometer. Four minutes. Three ships of the second fleet remained, stubbornly refusing to fade into the night. Her attention focused on the black man manning the astro navigational station. "Prepare for long distance fold, course one-five-three by zero-eight-eight. I want us on the other side of the galactic core."

The dark skinned man nodded, refining the navigationally vague command into something more refined... And something far, far away from earth.

Four minutes, twenty seconds and the last ship of the second fleet- Battle Commander Heraas own -stubornly clung to life. She was a wallowing wreck, streaming atmosphere and venting plasma but still firing on their attackers. The telemetry feeding in from the ship indicated most of her automatics were out and she was firing in local mode with whatever was left, but she was still fighting while her compliment of battle suits fought to stay the inevitable. Finally, a lance of orange light flashed through her aft quarter, breaching the battlecruisers reactor outright. The resulting explosion reached out and instantly consuming several nearby bug capital ships. Fleet Misa Hayase glanced down to the chronometer.

Four minutes, forty seconds.

"Commander Hayase to the Fleet," She commanded, never taking her eyes off the pinpoint of orange light boiling far out behind them. _"Execute fold jump!"_

* * *

**R**anma Saotome stared out into the horizon of her minds eye. It was a beautiful sight... Sandy beach, warm and inviting. Cool crystal blue water lapping at the at it's edge. It was wet and he was a she, but the tradeoff was a fair one today. The cloudless sky stretching on forever... And fire. An angry, flickering light slowly dropping against the horizon. It wasn't the sun. That was overhead. It was...

"...Salvaged a pulse laser mount from one of the reclaimed Lightings. Had to drill the beam down to a nine nanometer wavelength to even exploit the fault..."

It was coming toward them. The closest equivolent she could draw was a fireball from Saffron's very person, though even that paled in comparison to what was now hanging in the summer sky like a second sun. She looked down at her feet finding her shadow, hugging her person. There was another shadow now, however; anemic but slowly crawling behind her along the sand. Ranma tore her eyes from the second sun and looked back to back to her friends and family, who were pointing into the horizon.

_"Concentrate, Son in-law."_

She concentrated. So was Cologne. And Happosai._ I've seen this before. This is... A memory... Vacation..._ She turned back to the inferno. It had gotten larger since she last set eyes upon it. Now it was more than a boiling light. Now it was fire. A gateway to hell itself. the breeze began to pick up.

"...No possible way they could all have fit inside..."

"...Fold space boundry along the crystal. It's impossible, but..."

_Voices._ They weren't part of the memory. She knew the memory by heart. The wind. The heat. _Akane_. The all consuming flash of light. These voices weren't part of that. She was _hearing_. Ranma Saotome_ knew_... She hadn't heard anything in a long, _long_ time.

"...Life signs are weak, but stable."  
"Let her sleep... We need answers but not that badly. Let me know..."

_Sleep. No. No more sleep._ Ranma pushed through the beach. Pushed through the fog beyond. _Enough memories. Here. Now. Speak. Hello?_

"Herrrllll...?"

Commander Misa Hayase head snapped around, staring at the all but inert body of a short red haired girl; barely older than herself when she first enlisted. blue fluttered open momentarely then squinted shut as the room's light slashed against them. The nurse witnessed the reaction and instanly found the sick bay environmental controls along the wall, lowering the lights as Misa and the taller Doctor Emil Lang stood by, watching the girl scrub her eyes.

"Can you hear me?"

All movement stopped with the Dr. Lang's deep voice, and she slowly pulled her hands away from her eyes, focusing her squint first on the physists, then on the woman beside him. her study, lingered for a moment before drifting to the nurse and then the surroundings of sick bay. Suddenly she blinked, eyes wide open as if realizing something and jerked upright. The girl opened her mouth, but paused, struggling to form thought into word before actually speaking.

"...where..."

"You and your friends are safe aboard our ship." The uniform clad woman in white parsed the truncated sentance, nodding. "You would be Ranma Saotome, correct?"

The red head nodded tepidly, looking from the woman to her own body, raising an arm to view the IVs drips and EKG monitors embedded there in. She stared, looking back up to the pair with a curious expression.

"You were in pretty bad shape," The Commander nodded, answering the as yet unspoken question. "It was touch and go there for a while, I'll be frank. Nurse Hetti didn't think you would be waking up for another few days."

"No more sleep..." The girl squinted, as if to shake her fatigue away. She pulled at the strands of hazy memory but found little in the way of coherency. She turned back to her wards. "What happened...? S'is everybody?"

"We were hoping you would tell us, young lady," Doctor Lang studied the girl curiously. "Your friends have helped fill in some of the blanks, but apparently even they're not sure what you did. As to everybody else, they're still shaking off the affects of their..._stasis_ in a nearby recovery room. You were the last to come out of the coma."

"A coma...?" Ranma latched on to the word, identifying the first reconizable linchpin of their conversation. "How long?"

Both Physicist and Commander held the boy in silence, checking with one another before Misa answered. "From the information we've gathered so far... Nearly _forty years_."

"Forty-!" The word dropped out of Ranma's mouth and she stared into the pair. The number was impossible and immediately banished any lethargy her through process still carried. _A joke?_ was the first thought to run through her brain once it got by the absurdly large numeric value. _Gotta be a joke. Or worse_. The incredulous expression dropped off of Ranma's face as she studied the tubes and wires connect to her person skeptically. "Er, yeah. Thanks for all of... _this_, but I gotta be going."

"Excuse me, Miss? You really shouldn't move around like-" The tan skinned nurse adivised until being cut off by a keening tone. Ranma unceremoniously disconnected the EKG feeds, then the IV tubes, causing the heart monitors to warn of the sudden flatline. "Miss! You can't do that!"

"Nurse Hetti is right, young lady." Misa admonished, watching as the girl removed the monitors and swung her legs off the side of the bed. "You've been in stasis for forty years! You can't-!"

Ranma ignored her her warning as well, then the man's protest as she slid off the side of the hospital bed, cracking her neck with a couple jerks to the left and right. The Saotome frowned at the flimsy, near paper hospital gown but filed it away as something to deal with later. Aside from feeling like having been ground zero of a shi shi hadoken, she was done being in bed and slid barefoot onto the cold floor with a healthy wobble.

"Yeah, look," Ranma intrrupted their protests. "Just show me the way out and I'll manage on my own."

"Miss Tendo warned us you might be... difficult upon waking up," The commander sighed, moving up beside the martial artist. "She also advised us of your penchance for martial arts."

The redhead snorted in a most unladylike manner, pausing with a slight smirk. "Oh yeah? And which Tendo was that?"

"Nabiki, as I recall," The commander nodded, still studying the girl, "She also mentioned that she would consider it a personal favor if you were to- as she put it -maintain your patience."

"For which I'm beginning to see why," Dr Lang quiped with a bemused expression.

Rama arched an eyebrow, weighing the pair's sincerity in that moment while discecting Nabiki's role in her current situation. Forty years was nearly impossible, something had happened. It resided in the shadows of her memory, but Ranma could feel it. Something big, and it continued to elude her mental grasp fustratingly enough. Combined with the fact that something had taken a sledgehammer to her ki, and it suddenly became less impossible; falling well into the believable side of improbable.

Even my bones ache, Ranma frowned mentally, but refused to rub them or induldge in any outward appearance of weakness. And since when did Nabiki ask favors?

"Sure, why not," Ranma shrugged almost non-chalantly. "Ain't goin' back to bed though."

* * *

_-Miscellaneous scene_-

_"__**W**__olf spider! Fifteen degrees right! 500 meters!" Ukyo yelled into the mic from her position, bracketing the target with the destroid's attack sensors. "Reflex tips coming up in barrels one and two!"_

_"Got it! Coming around!" Akane returned, yanking the yoke hard right to align the mech's primary batteries to the monstrous, multi-legged organic mech. "Target, front!"_

_"FIRE!"_

_The youngest Tendo fingered the firing stud and the world explode, squashing all lesser sound in a thunderous roar as the two heavy bore cannons cooked off simutaneously, ejecting two reflex tipped semi-guided shells at eight times the speed of sound._

_The spider took the first shell across the back, shearing away its upper carapace in a sheet of fire as the second shell slammed directly into the forward torso, sending the vehicle into the ground in a gout of flame. the thing continued to move, but coordination was utterly lost and there would be no response to the attack_

_Akane recovered from the harsh recoil, stabilizing her own cross hairs as Ukyo picked out their next target. "Left three degrees, range eight hundred meters! Kinetic rounds queuing in barrels three, four and five! Aim for the center group!"_

_"Platoon of eight Scorpions, Front-"_

_"EM spike! We've been aquired!" Ukyo suddenly cut her off, triggering a torrent of adrenalin through the Tendo's body. "Back! Fall back to position two!"_

_Akane Tendo yanked had back on the cyclic stick and the mech lumbered behind the rise they were using as cover just as a yellow beam ripped through the hillside they had just occupied...

* * *

_**Crapspace Notes**  
This one could have gotten fairly epic, but then I have those fics. This fic Attempts to explain the disappearance of the Megaroad 2 (SDF 2 for all you n00bs) from Macross canon as having encountered the protagonists from Macross F themselves. Ranma and co get caught up in this, surviving the initial impact of the Megaroad 1 via soul of ice or the magical mirror compact... SOMEHOW getting aboard the second SDF2 in an hour of need. Ranma's affinity for ki leads him -her- to exibit Minmay like qualities to affect their combatants. Mix in some species from the Robotech version of this series and you have a steaming pile of crap.


	14. Halo Concept

**Halo Concept**  
By Ozzallos

"**W**hat are we looking at?" Hospital Corpsman Second Class Kuro Orosaki inquired as he followed his civilian guide through the devastated streets, threading through the skeletal remains of gutted structures and vehicles alike. Behind him two more soldiers kept a wary eye out , scanning their route for any Covenant holdouts amidst the rubble.

"We got almost everybody out before they dropped the hammer," The guide reported, ducking around the shattered remains of collapsed storefront that had poured out into the streets to crush two cars along the curb. "Volunteer groups were combing through the ruins and found this... girl. She's trapped."

The group crossed another street, securing overlapping fire positions as they advanced into another block of devastation. Kuro held his position by the man before the Corporal who had taken point waved them through and they continued down the street. "How bad is she injured?"

"I... I don't know," The man shook his head then paused as he caught sight of one of his companions crouching amidst the skeletal remains of a car garage. What had once been a twenty story structure and seen the top fifteen stories simply sheered away while the rest had simply imploded upon itself. "There's Sana now."

"You don't know?"

"No. It's... She's..." The guide struggled for words to explain the situation, but failed. Instead of trying to express them, he shook his head with a sigh as the closed on the demolished pile of concrete and rebar. "Come on, we'll show you. Sana?"

"Iwakawa's with her now; trying to keep her awake." The unshaven Japanese man replied, ushering the guide and corpsman through the makeshift tunnel they had managed to clear while his UNSC escort took up positions amidst the rubble. Kuro ducked into the narrow shaft behind the pair as they both their flashlights, following a series of pale yellow chemical glow-sticks that marked the route down.

_Shock at very least_, the Corpsman decided with the man's reply as he ran down the checklist of what sort of injuries the girl had probably sustained if the entire building had collapsed around her. Internal bleeding, broken bones. _Going to be a bitch to move her_, he decided while keeping careful check on his footing. The tunnel opened up into a partially collapsed space littered with crumpled cars that had obviously taken their limit of damage in what had once been the basement portion of the garage. Chemlights continued to mark the trail around collapsed portions of the otherwise pitch black garage until a dim twilight pervaded the darkness. Kuro keyed the radio hanging from his combat harness. "How are we looking up there?"

"No contacts," The radio crackled back. "Sarge says Command is reporting a general withdraw of Covenant forces for now."

"Well that's some good news," he returned, rounding the corner his guides had just turned into something that could finally be be considered direct light. "Now if we can... can..."

Words failed the UNSC corpsman he walked into the lantern lit area of the garage only to be confronted by the very last thing he was expecting to see. "What. The. Fuck...?"

"Oro? Orosaki?" The radio crackled back as the soldiers incredulity was clearly communicated over the open channel. "Sit tight, we're on our way down now."

"Uh yeah," Kuro Orosaki finally replied, unable to take his eyes away from what he could barely believe he was seeing. All things considered, he had been prepared for many things; the top at that list being some mangled little girl buried under a mass of concrete and steel, bleeding from multiple wounds. Nowhere on that same list, however, would he have expect said girl encased to be encased within a crystalline ice shard up to her chest. The lanterns refracted their ambient light within her prison of stone and ice; half of the shard jutting out into open air and half still buried in the wall of stone. The girl herself... She had seen better days. Most of her visible skin was discolored or outright blackened to decay, while her clothing- classic Chinese silk by the looks of them, had been leached of color to a pale red. Her hair had likewise darkened, but still held an unbelievable crimson that could have almost been mistaken for an expert dye job.

"Stay with me, now," One of the women kneeling next to the crystal encapsulated women ordered gently, causing the girl's head to lull even though all of her limbs were still ice bound. Her eyelids fluttered back upen and while one still held a brilliant blue iris, the other was clearly a dead orb; sucked of life and only responding to muscle movement. Her single good eye tracked lazily on the woman, who in turn smiled for her. "Nerima, you said? Where is that?"

"Ta.. Tokyo," The girl croaked, and the eye tracked over to her new arrival. "Who's...?"

"He's a doctor. Just hold on a little bit longer," The woman replied calmly, motioning Kuri over. It was enough to break his trance and professional automation filled the gap. The corpsman stepped up to the ice tomb, noting the crystal shards smoldering at his feet and around the base. _Ice_, his brain wrecked through the unlikely prognosis._ Hypothermia... Frostbite... but the condition she's in... _Kuri unslung his medical bag as the volunteer group watched, and prepared to test his hypothesis with a thermometer. The battlefield physician retrieved a small hand-held unit and pointed it at several parts of the ice block, then the freed portions of the redhead's body.

The corpsman blinked, then blinked again, turning back to the group. "None of you have touched the ice, have you?"

Everybody shook their heads, even the woman who had been keeping the girl awake. Which was good, in his opinion since anything connected to the ice caused his laser thermometer to bounce around indecisively in the negative ranges before settling on unreasonably cold. Fortunately, her core body temperature still read around negative six Celsius and her head just above freezing. "How long has she been like this?"

"Twenty since we first found her to now," His original guide reported, shaking his head. "God knows how long before that."

"Holy shit," A pair of footsteps accompanied the stunned words.

"Don't touch the ice," Kuri didn't even bother looking back, recognizing the voice of his fellow soldiers; then shook his head. "Fuck, I don't even know if that_ is_ ice."

"Soul..." All eyes turned back on the girl, who sucked in a laboured breath. "Soul of..."

The doctor stared at the girl without comprehension and filed the words away for later examination in favor of a prognosis and treatment. What he found in that analysis would have scared the shit out of him if the entire goddamn planet hadn't already been under the threat of alien annihilation. The girl had obviously been subjected to sub-zero temperatures; even encased in ice if he were to believe his own eyes. _SOP is to warm the victim,_ he concluded, but even doubted that prognosis. The girl was in rough shape... Far worse than what she should have been able to survive given the time table that they had been told so far. _Bad tissue damage_, he frowned mentally, wondering just how much of her biology was intact. An entire tract of skin along her left shoulder was little more than ice rot, mirroring several patches across her torso that almost looked disease ridden if he didn't already know a terminal case of frost bite when he saw it. Stimulants would likewise be deadly at this stage, and they weren't exactly equipped to chip her out. _Almost like the girl has been in stasis gone horribly... wrong?_

Hospital Corpsman Second Class Kuro Orosaki thought process stopped cold as he stumbled upon the only remaining conclusion. Even in asking the question, there was so much that didn't add up about the situation, let alone the resources on hand to get the necessary answers. But he knew who would and lifted the walkie back up to his mouth, dialling up a new channel as he did so. "Oh-eight-three to command, over."

"Oh-eight-three, go."

"Medical emergency, east Nogowa," The medic spoke calmly into the hissing channel. "Full ride plus excavation, over."

The channel remained silent for a moment, then responded. "Qued up. ETA Thirty minutes."

Kuro shook his head. That wasn't going to do it, but then he already knew what the response was going to be. The invasion had pressed the UNSC infrastructure past the breaking point, and thirty minutes was probably a generous time table. His eyes never left the girl and her single good eye never left his. How she had stayed conscious this long was anybody's guess, but nothing about the entire setup made sense. Thirty minutes wasn't going to cut it and he keyed the channel once more. "Case indigo, situation critical. Human female, approximately sixteen years old, suffering from cryo induced hypothermia; unable to extract. Request expedite."

The channel stayed silent for a full two minutes this time before returning to life. "Case Indigo acknowledged, rerouting Pelican 881 for immediate assistance, ETA plus two minutes. Expect full cryo in ten."

"Roger," He nodded to the unseen speaker. "Beacons coming up."

The corpsman flipped a switch on his belt immediately illuminating his position to anybody on the TACNET command channel. He nodded back to the other soldiers, who did the same thing. One of them shook his head even as he turned back to the surface route. "Case Indigo? I hope to hell you know what you're doing, Oro. I'll call them in topside."

With that, he left the five others to tend to the girl, disappearing around the corner even as all eyes turned back to the frozen redhead. The corpsman turned an apologetic look her way. "It's going to be a bit before we can get help and stimulants will only screw up your vitals at this point. We need you to stay awake, though. Think you can do that?"

Her face scrunched with what looked like pain, but she nodded slowly regardless. "Ca...Can."

_And how you can is beyond me, _he mumbled mentally, but fixed a pleasant expression for the girl regardless. "Teams will be here in a couple minutes. We'll be ready to pull you in ten. Until then, I'm Hospital Corpsman Second Class Kuro Orosaki. Behind me is Corporal Logan Ramirez. You'll have to bear with him since he only speaks basic." The girl's single blue eye flicked from him to Corporal Rameriez, who acknowledged her with a silent, if slightly awed nod. "Since we're doing introductions, what's you're name?"

The eye flicked back to Kuro with an intensity that told him she would be staying awake at all costs. "Sa...Saotome... Ranma Saotome."

* * *

"Which still doesn't answer the question why her?" A uniformed officer paced across the observation deck, pausing only to look down into the intensive care room below and the redheaded girl hooked to enough medical hardware to make her look like a cyborg, let alone keep her from dying on life's knife edge. A nurse clad head to toe in a white jumpsuit took the readings from one of the equipment banks supporting the girl before making an adjustment at the unit's keypad. The officer turned back to the lab coat clad blonde beside him as she was pushing her slim framed glasses back up her nose, also staring down at the devastated girl. "ONI has expended considerable resources to maintain a list of psychologically suitable candidates just for this purpose; and you're just going to pick some girl at random?"

"Hardly random, General," The doctor commented off hand, returning her attention to the cup of coffee she had neglected during her study of the child. "In fact, you could say that an opportunity like this only comes once a millennium."

"While I agree that finding anybody still alive after a cryo accident of that magnitude is extraordinarily long odds, it doesn't justify-"

"A cryo incident, if I may indulge in the pun, is but the tip of the iceberg," Doctor Halsey shook her head, keying in the command to bring up a record on the terminal closest to her. The flat glass display dutifully retrieved a file under the header Saotome, Ranma. She invited the officer to the terminal. "You may find this enlightening. I know I did."

The General looked at the woman, then the girl's picture inset in the file and began reading. Safely occupied, Catherine exited the observation deck and took the stairs down to the ICU entrance, where a UNSC soldier stood guard. The black female caught sight of her and snapped to attention in spite of the fact that the woman approaching her had no offical military rank, and moved aside. The doctor nodded and entered the clean room airlock, declining to wear any of the five surgically sterile jumpsuits hanging off the rack on her right. Instead, she keyed the door, which swished with the slight equalization of pressure as she entered.

"How is she?"

The attending nurse looked up, noting that her newest visitor was not wearing a jumpsuit. This fact was immediately elaborated on by the identity of her visitor, who- like her rank -unofficially owned every square meter of the facility they she was working in. As such, there was only really one answer she could provide in spite of the violation of the clean room procedures. "Life support is doing it's job.. barely. Stable, otherwise, Doctor."

Catherine Hasley nodded, taking a cursory glance and the flat displays rhythmically updating her status digitally before checking back to the sealed observation deck above her where a perturbed UNSC general glowered down at her. Intemperate disposition or no, he had yet to forward and offical objection, so she turned back to the nurse. "Wake her."

nurse dialogue went missing! -Ryan Sollazzo 2/18/10 6:31 AM

"Her condition is terminal," The doctor returned in an unsympathetic tone. "Twenty cc's of theracone."

The nurse took a quick glance up at the officer waiting on the observation deck, who in turn showed no objections to order. It was also unfortunate that the doctor was correct in the end. Eighty five percent of the girl's physiology was already fatally compromised by the cryo induced shock and no one person had ever survived more than forty; Freezer burn, as it was commonly called. What was left was being supported by the array of machinery around her, and even that was in decline.

"Twenty cc's, Maam," The nurse confirmed in light of the fact, and reluctantly punched the requisite dosage into the nearest touch screen. The colourless stimulant filtered into one of the dozen tubes already hooked into the redhead's biology, prompting the girl to twitch almost immediately. Minor alarms concerning the stability of her health began to keen, prompting inciting Doctor Halsey to reach across to the offending equipment to silence them.

A blue eye fluttered open as the drug's dosage took affect, slowly finding its focus and the scanning its surrounding; eventually settling on the blonde doctor standing next to her bed. A slight smile cracked along her lips regardless of her condition.

"I'm... Takin' it I look as... as bad as I feel," The redhead croaked and Catherine simply nodded.

"You are dying, child."

"Hmmf," Her patient coughed with the attempted laugh. "Tell me something... I don't already... know."

"Very well," The doctor nodded, her own slight smile manifesting with the girl's attempt at humor. "The year is 2552. Humanity has discovered faster then light space travel and established colonies on a number of worlds across the galaxy."

The single blue eye as blinked as Doctor Halsey continued ruthlessly. "We are currently engaged in a two front intergalactic war against a extra terrestrial empire that views humanity as a sacrilegious disease to their religion and an alien entity that exists to do little more than consume life everywhere it may be found."

A brief fit of coughing broke the girl's stare up at the woman, then attempted a shrug after it had subsided. "Goddamn story of... of my life."

The girl continued to cast a penetrating stare up at Catherine before relenting with a new question. "Did I at... at least kick Singha's ass before I turned... inta an icecube?"

"If the archives I pulled were any indication, yes," The doctor replied. "Quite spectacularly, I might add."

The redhead tried to nodded, satisfied with the answer. She lapsed into silence for several moments before her single focused on one of the screens tracking her vitals. "So what now?"

"That would depend on you," The blonde advised. "I have records and reports, as well as quite a bit of conflicting data, so I shall ask you directly... Just how good are you, Ranma Saotome?"

That single blue eye locked onto her with nearly terrifying intensity. "I'm... I'm the best you'll ever meet."

If she hadn't literally raised a group of similar warriors herself, Catherine might have blanched at the gaze that met was no bravado in that statement in what was very well this girl's last moments. No ego. Catherine shook her head sadly with the revelation. _Truly a Spartan_, Halsey mused with regret. Even given the age of the records she had compiled on the child, she was truly an amazing specimen in a day when super soldier programs such as the SPARTAN project were stone age by comparison. _A waste_, she decided. Such a child in the here and now equipped with the most advanced hardware mankind could equip would burn a swath through both the Covenant and Flood so deep that it would be ingrained in their racial memories for aeons.

A waste, truly, but not a complete waste.

"Indeed," The doctor began with that goal in mind. A way to salvage the shell lying on the bed into something she could use. "We are in dire need of the best, but your condition is... irreparable. Still, you are a resource that cannot simply be discarded in what is one of mankind's darkest hours."

"Do... Just do what you gotta."

It was Doctor Catherine Halsey's turn to blink surprise at the girl who simply stared back at her with that single, unyielding blue eye._ Even in her last moments... _After a silent moment of recovery, she shook her head. "You might not be so willing if you realized just what I had in mind for you."

"You said... I was dead anyway," The redhead shifted her gaze, looking up into the observation booth to find the officer watching the scene play out from above. "Too much... of me is gone. Can feel it. It's all I can... can do just to hold it together up here." The doctor watched as the girl's face scrunched in pain before finally settling down to continue. "Martial artist... protects those... can't protect themselves."

"Well said," Catherine murmured, then nodded, looking back up to the observation deck. "General, I'll need my team here in ten minutes."

* * *

Pain. Excruciating unending pain. A horizon of agony reflecting upon a sea of excruciating torture. Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts accepted this as her fate; as her final resting place amid the spires of anguish.

Such was that fate of a martial artist, and her last, final mission to the code she had been tasked to uphold.

Another strobe of iridescent agony pulsed through her brain, cascading through every corner of every neuron that made up her existence. Her ice burned body was gone now, a distant memory as the riptide os suffering rolled in, threatening to destroy the last remnants of coherent thought she desperately held on to.

_"Sync rates are falling off! We're losing synapse coherency!"_  
_"Sector corruption increasing!"  
"Ranma! You must maintain focus at all cost!"  
_  
The war that raged within the confines of her skull was a battle waged on an epic scale... The very last remnants of herself versus the scalpels of unbearable pain seeking to dissect her very soul so that it could be catalogued, recorded and if all went according to plan, used to fight the overwhelming odds that sought to remove humanity from existence. It was a battle like none she had fought before... Not like Ryoga... Kumon Ryu... Nothing like Herb. Saffron's fires were a gentle breeze compared to the thunderhead of agony bearing down upon her. Even Singha's prowess was nothing compared to the white hot coal path she now walked.

None of it mattered, however. The life of a martial artist was fraught with peril, and everything she was; Her skill. Her prowess. Her undying resolve. Her very honor.

It was all needed one last time.

_"...Stabilizing! I need confirmation!"  
"Sync rate and Doppler are rebuilding! I don't know how, but it is!"  
"Because she is the best. Proceed with matrix cascading."  
"Buffering initial core, readying proxy insertion..."  
_  
The pain washed in again, and Ranma Saotome steeled herself behind that single immovable constant that had been her life's unwavering focus. The knives swepting in again to take her and she fought them, mentally parrying and twisting around their lances of torment. The doctor had told her the procedure she was now enduring was usually reserved for the dead... that a live mind couldn't remain coherent enough to endure what was required of it.

But she could. She would. Come hell or high water.

Because she was the best. She always would be. It was a title Ranma was determined to take to the grave. Light and pressure built inside her brain as the streams of radiant agony continued to stab at her as if their soul goal was to unravel her very thought process. While it what very nearly the truth, it was also merely an impersonal byproduct of the procedure she had volunteered to undergo.

_"Riemann matrix reading nominal, seventy three percent and building..."_  
_"Brain activity erratic... She's riding the knife edge of synaptic collapse."_  
_"Thirty more seconds, child."_

She was losing ground. The light was gaining purchase on her mind, smashing into her psyche even as she attempted to hold on to the last of her conscious now. Only one thing inhabited that thought process now, and that was the count.

Twenty five... twenty four... twenty three...

Any finesse in holding out against the tidal wave of all encompassing agony was gone. there were no memories of Akane or his mother to hold on to, no remembrances of victories past to anchor with. it was little more than a brutal match of raw will power now; herself against the light.

Eighteen... Seventeen... What came after... Fifteen? Eighteen? No I said eighteen... FIFTEEN... Fourteen...

_"Sync rate approaching threshold..."  
"Data transfer pushing terrabyte levels! Processors are backlogging!"  
"Neural cascade, ninety five percent..."_

The crescendo of lightning jumped across the remains of her will, tearing and eating away at her resolve. Numbers ceased to have meaning. Honor was no longer something her thought process could quantify. there were as no past, no present. there was only her and the ocean of suffering... The reason to resist it had faded into obscurity. It sang out to her being, as if begging for her to embrace it. There was no reason why she couldn't just let the wall of light consume her soul; at least none that she could remember... But she did. There was something important in that resistance and Ranma continued to stand fast against the formless, all encompassing pain.

_"Matrix reading one hundred percent! Lock it out!"  
"Compiling data core!"  
"Reading a full neural collapse! We're losing her!"_

In the world beyond, Doctor Catherine Halsey watched as some of the most advanced data processing hardware known to man twittered over the newly formed Riemann matrix while the machinery tasked with keeping the redhead at the center of her team's activities alive began to lose its fight. It was an inevitable lose, she knew, but that didn't make it any easier to watch the twitching girl succumb to her fate. She stepped around the technicians tending to the newly formed core and past the medical personnel with a sad conternance, brushing the a crimson lock from the girls face where unconscious determination still rode.

Catherine gently loosened the oxygen mask taking up much of the girl's face and pulled it down. The life support machinery around them began to keen as their patient's vitals went terminal. With a sad smile, she caressed the girl's forehead once more with a whisper. "Rest easy, Spartan. Your victory is well earned."

Tension melted away from the girl's features with the words, and it was there Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts rested with peaceful smile upon her lips.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes**  
This was my attempting to find a un-fail point of entry for Ranma into the Halo universe: Soul of Ice gone bad. Even so, the good doctor recognizes Ranma's potential and tries for a first, a fully cognizant personality of the original person, not just based off their component memories. Obviously the original Ranma dies in that process, only to be taken up by AI ranma, who in turn helps the Spartans. But then I realized... halo is fun to play, not write for.


	15. Wishing

**Wishing  
**By Ozzallos**  
**

"**B**ut Mister Tanaka, I-!"

The forty year old professor put a single finger to the lips of the black haired girl, and even though he had silenced her voice, her eyes said everything she was feeling in that moment. "We can't can't continue seeing one another, Hiroko. I am a teacher and you are my student... And even though I harbor certain... _feelings_ for you, it would be improper."

_But you would be oh-so manly for doing so_, Nodoka Saotome inserted mentally as the drama played out on the TV before her and she remained on the edge of her seat as the scene continued.

"But I've seen the way you look at me," The school girl turned away, smoothing the neckerchief hanging around her collar nervously. "You steal glances at me when you think nobody is watching..." Hiroko turned back from the empty classroom's window view, the setting suns rays falling across her face. She took his hand in hers. "But _I'm_ watching, Mister Tanaka, and last night was..."

"If only it were that simple, Hiroko," The man sighed, taking in the beautiful teen woman before him. He pulled his hands away and Nodoka leaned forward, all but knowing what was about to happen. After all, she had seen last weeks episode. And the week's before that. "But... I can't. I'm... seeing somebody else."

Hiroko pulled away as if she had been physically slapped. The school girl's mouth moved but no words came out as the full portent of the 0teacher's words struck home. After another few moments of horror, she finally found the words. "Who.. who is it? It's not another student is it? From our class?"

"No, Hiroko-chan-"

"It's Aida-chan, isn't it?" The girl continued frantically, tears ready to burst forth. She held herself tightly, trembling. "I know she looks at you too, but I love you more, Sensei!"

"It's not Aida, Ko-chan," Professor Tanaka stilled the girl, grasping her shoulders. Tear filled eyes snapped up to hold his own.

"Then... who? Who has stolen your heart from me?" The Saotome matriarche smiled with anticipation and leaned forward as the girl on screen was held in suspense for that singular moment.

"It's... It's your _mother_." The professor admitted and Hiroko suddenly went limp, stumbling backwards.

"My...Mother!"

_Of course your mother, child,_ Nodoka Saotome chimed in smugly. _Mister Tanaka is a manly man, after all. In fact, you haven't found out about his extra ciricular activities with your sister, yet, have you?_

"Hiroko, I meant to tell you _PhzzzzzzZZZt!"_ The red headed woman frowned as her favorite serial was suddenly lost in a lost in distortion and static, the image skewing wildly across the her TV. _Now is not the time, TV-san_, she admonished while another portion of her bemoaned the fact that the funds that had been set aside for a new TV had actually gone to cover the damages Ranma's fiancees had incurred only a scant few months ago. Insurance had covered a majority of the damages, but...

The image cleared for a moment- just in time to show the good professor spinning the girl by the arm, preventing her from running out the classroom door before decending back into static. Nodoka Saotome sighed. _Mister Tanaka's manly activities will just have to wait until_- her thought process paused as she watched the picture ripple. _Well that's odd_, she decided, half tempted to reach out and touch the glass tube itself. It was almost as if the very surface had actually shifted completely independent of the static plaguing it. Her hand reached out on impulse as the rippling continued, only to snatch it back as a face suddenly protruded from the image and into the third dimention.

Nodoka's eyes widened and she scooted back deeper into the sofa as a woman with platinum-white hair and richly tanned skin continued to emerge from her very TV, finally opening her eyes once her ample bussom had cleared the picture. She looked around for a moment before focusing on the Saotome matriarche with an easy smile. "Don't worry, I'll explain everything in just a moment."

Nodoka simply nooded as the woman continued to extract herself from the TV, her long legs finally clearing threshhold after another minute. She rose to her full height and smoothed the blue on white robes that served as her clothing, though not bothering to adjust the long 'V' that displayed her prominant tan clevage or the slit up the side of her robe advertising a single shapely leg. She flipped a long white lock of hair from her face, profering a business card to the mother, who took it in hand tenatively.

"I am Urd, Goddess second class, catagory one," She explained easily, turning around and plopping down onto the couch beside Nodoka. "And _you_, qualify for a wish."

The redhead studied the woman lounging next to her with the slighest air of skeptisim. "Are you sure you're a goddess? Surely a lady of your stature must have more elegant wear than such revealing bedroom attire."

"Bedroom attire? I- It's-" Urd studdered, suddenly self conscious of her the robe she wore, then look back up. Her appearance hadn't even _fazed_ the woman. "And what would _you_ suggest?"

"Oh, a kimono would look splendid on a fine young lady such as yourself," Nodoka commented, standing up and angling for the kitchen beyond. Urd's eyes followed her as she pulled a tray from the cupboard and set a pair of black and white ceramic tea cups upon it. "Are you single by any chance, Urd-san?"

Had she been a tad less observant, Urd would have completely missed the hopeful lilt to the woman's voice. She was obseverant, however, and being a match maker herself, knew exactly where it led. "I'm... _off the market_ for the time being."

"A pity, then," Nodoka returned conversationally, her attention on the hot tea she was pouring. "Though not surprising being the fine example of womanhood that you are... reminds me of my younger years."

Nodoka turned a smile on the Goddess with the compliment, then blinked. Her attire had changed completely at some point during her inattention, transformed from the salacious blue on white robe to a similarly colored kimono. Urd waited for the redhead's reaction as she crossed back into the living room, setting the tray of tea down on the table before them. Free of her burden, Nodoka gave the white haired woman an appraising look. It was mostly a match for Nodoka's own purple and white kimono, save the face that Urd's was styled to reveal more skin than the average kimono would usually allow. She favored the Goddess with a maternal smile to indicate her approval, even though the styling wasn't exactly traditional.

_A privliage of the young_, She decided and offered Urd the tea. The Goddess of the Past took it politely and sipped appreciatively. "No doubt you have pressing business, but if you can induldge a mother's minor request?"

"Of course, Saotome-san," The tan woman smiled, fully prepared to induldge the wish recipient.

Twenty minutes later the Urd, Goddess second class catagory one was found leaning off the edge of the Saotome couch watching the drama play out before her. She shook her head as an older man and much younger woman stepped within close proximity of one another. "Oh, no he wouldn't..."

"Yes he would. There are very _few_ things the manly mister Tanaka wouldn't do," Nodoka commented from her own section on the sofa with a self satisfied smile.

"But with Hiroko's sister!" Urd protested as the scandelous pair came together in front of the professor's car.

"And mother," The redhead added. The scene suddenly faded to black as credits took the the couple's place while dramatic music played in the background, prompting a slightly put out expression from the matriarch. It lasted only for the merest of moments before turning back to Urd with a kind look. "Thank you for induldging in a lonely mother's request. I'm sure heaven keeps a young woman such as yourself quite busy."

"Think nothing of it," Urd couldn't help but to return the sincere smile, taking a final sip of tea. "Have you considered your wish?"

"Indeed, through why the humble wife of a martial artist would recieve one is beyond me," Nodoka commented, setting her own cup aside.

"You have sacrificed much for your family," Urd explained, recalling the file she had briefly skimmed through. "You've endured lonely hardship, yet never forgotton your honor or turned away from Kami-sama. It is the least we can do for a woman as dedicated as yourself."

"It is kind of you to say so," Nodoka inclinded her head gratfully. "In that case, I have decided."

Urd waited patiently.

"I wish for my Ranma to have the most perfect, understanding lovers that my child could have." She replied, reviewing the wish mentally before nodding. There were so many fiancee's in his life after all, and her son was entirely too manly to be satisfied by just-

_FLASH!_

The room was suddenly bathed in an ethreal, near bling blue glow as the Goddess standing before her suddenly jerked ridgedly, her kimono flowing with an invisible breeze as the white haired woman began to float of floor, the aura around her flaring brightly. Nodoka Saotome's eyes widened and she took a step back from the spectacle as waves of ambiant power began to fill the space around her. The aura didn't really faze her, nor did the floating. She was, after all, the wife and mother of martial artists and had been exposed to such happening early on. The power wafting around her however was pure... peacful... _Divine_. The glyph on her forhead began to glow fiercely and abruptly erupted, spearing the ceiling with a brilliant shaft of light that held for a few moments before dying away, allowing the goddess to settle back to the floor.

Urd's open eyes held little in the way of conscious awareness for the next second or two after touchdown before blinking the after effects away and smiling at Nodoka. "Wish granted."

* * *

"Yo, Saotome, spot me."

The red head leaning over a beaten workbench paused, glancing over at the engine block from which the voice came from. Beneath the chain suspended mass of steel and piping was a pair of legs sprawled out, shifting occasionally as the torso beneath worked. Ranma adopted a bland look with the request, turning back to the bench and the small metallic part she had been manipulating. her other hand grabbed another part and she checked the thick manual next to her before piecing the two together. "Spot yourself, Katsu."

"Aw c'mon! I can't take my hand off this and Ryo's got the air wrench in the other garage," The prone body complained from beneath the block. "Besides, you're cuter than he is."

Ranma's cheek twitched and she ground her teeth down, pushing away from her station, sauntering across the bare concrete of the garage and over to the engine Katsu was tending. She wrapped a single hand around the heavy guage suspension chain that bolted to the block and pulled, lifting the mass it held up and away from the man beneath it by an arms length. She looked down at the grease smeared face of the older mechanic as if he were an insect and he boggled slightly before grinning. Ranma simply shook her head.

"You realize I'm gonna drop this on ya?"

The thirty year old nodded, taking the opportunity to wipe his hands off across his ragged overalls while his eyes roamed her body. Today she had deemed only a worn pair of black tangs and braless t-shirt were necessary and Katus appreciated the fashion decision. "Yeah, but from this view I'll die a happy man."

Ranma allowed the slightest smile to cross her face and held the chain for another few second before letting the loose in her grasp; not enough to cause it undo stress, but enough to jar the person below when it ran out of length, causing the block to buck. The man below it 'eeped!', causing her smile to widen before getting down to buiness. The martial artist grabbed the long length of a torque wrench and twirled it through her fingers like a baton. "What do you need?"

"Forty five pounds on the connecting rod bolt here," He replied, and Ranma found the requsite bolt, socketed it and gave it a slight tug. That slight tug represented all the tension the bolt needed and she set the steel shaft aside, bending down to peer back under the engine.

"You good?" She asked, watching him use a smaller ratchet on the oil pan. Katsu looked over to give Ranma a thumbs up, but caught full view of her clevage instead and jerked upright, only to slam his head into the unyeilding engine block.

"OW!" He explaimed, scambling to put pressure on what was a rapidly forming knot from within is black mop of hair.

Ranma smirked, all but cackling. "Yeah, you're good."

"I swear you 're going to kill somebody with those things," another male voice sighed and Ranma turned the same smirk on Daisuke, who also wore his own pair of oil splattered overalls. Unlike the rest of him, his hands were clean and sported a bundle of mail.

"You mean these little things?" Ranma plastered and innocent look across her face as she juggled her own generous charms in hand, causing them no small amount of jiggle. His eyes suddenly glazed over and a few of the letters dropped to the garage floor, cooresponding with the seepage of blood from his left nostril. The next thing Ranma's classmate knew he was being smacked upside the head as Ranma passed back to her bench. "Dumbass."

Daisuke shook his had clear staring back at Ranma in wonder. "I swear I'll never get used to that. Hell, I'm not even sure how _you're_ used to it."

"If I'm gonna be stuck with em, might as well get some laughs out of it," She quipped, returning to the stool and the pile of parts she had been piecing together. Beyond it sat a half assembled carborator and a stack of books. "Besides, pretty decent for this kinda stuff. Small fingers, ya know?"

Her classmate for the last four years watched her wiggle the fingers for a effect and he shook his head. "Jeez, you make it sound like another shop tool. Here. You got something for once."

Daisuke flipped one of the letters from his hand, which Ranma easily tracked and caught between her index and middle finger before its flight path became overly erratic. She flipped the envlope around her fingers to bring its facing side into view. "Nekomi Institute of..."

Ranma's eyes suddenly widened and she glanced back up to her classmate for confirmation, who nodded. "Got mine too."

"Did you open it yet?" The redhead's eyes instantly fell back to her own envelope.

"Not a chance," Daisuke shook his head emphatically. "Too chicken. Besides, the old man would kill me if he didn't get to open it himself."

"Yeah, Mom said somethin' like that too," Ranma agreed, flipping the letter around between her fingers once more before it simply disappeared before his friend's eyes.

"Stupid martial arts tricks," He rolled his eyes, stuffing his own letter into the breast of his own overalls. "Come on, let's have that carbuerator."

"Five more minutes," The pigtailed girl nodded and turned back to her bench, pulling open a drawer and retrieving a screwdriver. Her other hand snatched at the next part in line for assembly and plied unfinished device. Ranma had only gotten as far as the third screw when a the front door swung open, allowing a tall thin boy with coke bottle rimmed glasses and brown hair to run in.

"We got the challenge!" Ranma arched a thin red eyebrow watching as the boy weaved between the larger hydrolic jacks and assorted engine parts, waving a crumpled sheet of paper in hand. Daisuke stepped aside to allow the teen access to the engine Katsu had been tending. The older mechanic slid out from under the engine and the messenger stopped short, staring at the garage owner and the growing bruise on his forhead. "Damn, what happened to you?"

"Nothing," He grumbled, taking the message in hand. "One of the tools got away from me."

"He was staring at Ranma's boobs again, 'Ko," Daisuke supplied, causing the junior shop hand to shake his head.

"I can't believe my sempai is such a pervert..."

"Ah, you mean like the way you look at Yuna when she's-" Katsu grinned maliciously, and the boy's eyes widened throught the thick glasses.

"Your message, Sempai!" Ko interrupted hastily, all but standing at military attention as he handed the paper to him.

Kastsu chuckled, taking the crinckled paper from hand to read, then nodded. "Tell Ryo to get Madaline ready. Race is tonight, race location."

"Already stopped by the other garage," Ko reported, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "He's prepping her as we speak."

Katsu took another look at the letter, then glanced over to Ranma and Daisuke. "Call it a day. You guys go home and celebrate."

"You got more confidence in that than I do," Daisuke shook his head and pulled out his letter, staring at it one more.

"Yuna's riding that tonight, right?" Ranma asked as she saunter over to the wash bin and allowed the warm water to run for a moment before splashing herself into a male. Katsu answered the question with a nod and the bespekled teen behind him simply stared at the person that had gone from nearly his height to almost a full head taller in the space of a hearbeat.

"I'm _never_ going to get used to that."

"You ain't seen Pops turn into a Panda yet," Ranma snorted as he adjusted the tank top to take into account the distinct lack of clevage and an overall wider frame. He join Daisuke at the open garage door, sending a nonchalant wave back. "Give em hell, boss."

With that final farewell, Ranma and Daisuke stepped out in the sweltering summer heat that baked the environment around them. Accompanying it was also the humidty and Ranma's classmate had abandoned the the top of his coveralls, letting them hang at the waist and exposing the plain white tee to open air. Daisuke continued to finger the envelope, prompting Ranma to pull out his own. "How do you think we did?"

"You're asking me?" The teen shook his, running his hand through the black surf curl that made up the part of his hair. "For as much time as we've spent in that damn oven, we had better have done well."

"God knows it's the only place I can get any decent studying done," Ranma shook his head as the pair crossed the street. "How Hiroshi doing with his thing anyway."

* * *

**Crapspace Notes**  
Something a bit more unique and squiky... Nodoka wishes for Ranma to have the perfect mates, and unwittingly binds him into a love triangle with Keiichi and Belldandy in both forms. Messy? Oh yes. Crappy? maybe. But I have other things to do and this fic was a casualty of creative attrition. On that note... Something makes me want to write a Ranma-Peroth fic.


	16. Eris

**Eris**  
_By Ozzallos_

Usagi Tsukino stared at the the gates and the aged placard that swayed gently in the wind above them. The gates themselves had seen their share of abuse, as if they had been torn down and remounted numerous times while the surrounding wall was patched and spackled. Overall, the scene was hardly inspiring, especially when one took into account the noticed posted directly below a hanging bell.

"All challenges, rear entrance. Your challenge will be met in the order it was received." Minako read sceptically, turning a raised eyebrow to her blonde counterpart. "Are you _sure_ this is the place?"

The princess and future queen shrugged, pointing to the wooden sign hanging above. "How many Anything Goes Schools of Indiscriminate Grappling can there possibly be in Tokyo?"

"Meatball head does have a point," Rei agreed, surveying the external property herself with a frown. "Not much to look at though."

"Maybe it looks better on the inside?" Ami forward, though a measure of her friend's doubt manifested in her own voice.

Usagi's blonde streamers swayed with the breeze and brushed out her green knee length skirt. No, this was definitely the right place. She could _feel_ the Eris crystal beyond the property walls; suppressed but there. The anticipation was positively killing her.

"Well, we're not exactly challengers, so who wants to give the bell a ring?" Makoto pointed out, scrutinizing the note warily.

The moon princesses' hand was up without a thought, giving the bell a couple of rings before stepping back from the gate. The pitched echoed across the neighbourhood before being lost to the sprawling suburb around them. It only took a moment for the summons to be answered and gate swung open, revealing twenty some woman of medium height and conservative dress. Her inviting smile quickly lapsed into wonder upon seeing her guests.

"May I help you?"

"Yep!" Minako chirped happily. "Is Ranma home?"

Kasumi Tendo processed the question with a series of blinks while her brain correlated the relevant data: Girls plus Ranma equaled fiancées. Of course, there were other data subsets for the eldest Tendo to consider, such as the mental stability of her new guests, property damage tables and other minutia that would affect her household. While five new fiancées vying for Ranma's affections didn't bode well for the tranquility of the family, these particular ones were, on average, conservatively dressed and appeared polite enough to use the gate as opposed to forcing entry through the nearest wall. Given that, Kasumi decided there was no reason why she couldn't extend the Tendo hospitality to them, such as it was. Anything more was up to Ranma, Akane or Nabiki to clear up.

"He and Akane just returned home from school." She supplied pleasantly, mental dilemma resolved. "Please come in."

Usagi nodded agreeably and the girls fell in behind the Tendo, passing through the gates and seeing the internal grounds for the first time. Over all, it wasn't in nearly as bad a shape as the outside led one to believe, they noted as they stepped down he walkway to the house. The grassy property was spacious and reasonably well kept despite the occasional crater marring its surface, while the koi pond and koji next to the dojo lent it a certain classic ancestry. The house was of decent size too, but in less than pristine condition. The repairs to it were adequate, but serviceable at best and it was becoming more and more obvious to the girls that it had seen considerable action. Shingles missing here, a boarded up wall there, some off color paint where damage had occurred… Even the occasional scorch mark.

"Okay, I stand corrected," Minako whispered, leaning in toward her friends. "Ra-Chan has _definitely_ been here."

Rei snorted with amusement and even Ami chuckled slightly as they all followed their host though the door and into the modest domicile, whereupon bickering could be clearly heard from deeper within.

"And I told you I ain't eatin' it!"

"You will and you'll like it!"

"I will and I'll die!"

"Just do it!"

"Give it to your old man!"

"He's not here!"

"Small wonder."

"Besides, I baked it for you, baka!"

Silence followed the last remark, leaving the girls' eyes wide. Makoto voiced their mutual thoughts first with a whisper. "Sempai is turning down _food?_"

"Fine, give it here."

Kasumi noticed the wide eyes at her back and made a split second decision. "Akane! Ranma! You have guests!"

Internally, she hated to something like this to her guests since they seemed so nice, and knew in reality she was only trading one chaos for another, but the topic of Akane's food was more likely to create lasting household strife than Ranma being traded away for yet more fiancées by his father. In the end it was a command decision that few would have thought the Tendo capable of.

The girls would have be sacrificed.

Akane Tendo stepped out of the kitchen first clad in a pinky piggy embroidered apron, oversized oven mitts and a tray of… Crispies. All five girls looked from Akane to the crispies and stared curiously, their eyes alternating between the girl and her creation while several thoughts vied for their attention. First, the girl before them was a dead ringer for Ami's sister, had she one to begin with. Second, the crispies themselves seemed to quiver. Or maybe it was a trick of the light. Either way, it effectively curbed Usagi's normal impulse to reach out and grab one while explaining exactly why their friend had ardently refused one himself. Akane herself was staring at the newcomers to her residents then noted Kasumi had _the look_. The _fiancée_ look. The only thing that stymied her irritation was the fact that Ranma's fiancées normally didn't arrive in such quantity. Of course, normal didn't exactly apply to Ranma's life and Genma had been very busy trading his son away for God only knew how long and for what. Then there was the girl who looked eerily like her. The two blinked at one another before the kitchen door opened for a second time.

"Now who is gonna—" Ranma words were chopped sort as he froze in the doorway, seeing the guests.

"Fiancées, baka." Akane shook her head irritably, then returned to the girls in front of her. With any luck, she could handle this one herself without her other sister's expensive intervention. "Look ,whatever you were all promised—"

"Ra-Chan!" The blonde leaders face blossomed into a wide smile and was around Akane in an instant, crushing Ranma in a bear hug. She was instantly joined by the other girls, who collected around the pigtailed martial artist in good cheer.

"'Sagi?" Ranma wallowed in shock for a moment, then a smile grew across his own face. "Oh man, this was the last thing I was expectin'! Ami! Mi-chan!"

"Sempai!" Makoto was practically bouncing now, joining the other girls around him. Each bounce or jubilant comment produced a nervous tick in Akane's cheek.

"Jeez, 'Sagi, did ya bring along the entire group?"

Even Kasumi was staring now, watching Ranma's face dance with more emotion than she had seen for possibly his entire stay. These weren't fiancées? They were… friends? Girl friends? Ranma has… they were thoughts mirrored by her younger sister, though with considerably less restraint in terms of emotion, and anger at being left out of the loop began to replace the surprise she was feeling.

"No, Haruka had a race today and Michiru and Hotaru stayed to cheer her on." Usagi explained, disengaging from the hug though no less cheerful. "That, and you know Setsuna."

Ranma nodded knowingly. "All work and no play."

"Exactly."

"RANMA!" All conversation ground to a halt, and every eyed turned on the huffing, frustrated Akane Tendo who had finally snapped at being left out of the loop.

Ranma cringed. "Uh, right. Akane, these are my friends, Odangos here is Usagi. The blond next to her, Minako. Ami, the smartest girl in Japan," The girl blushed slightly with the compliment. "Rei, shrine priestess in trainin' and Makoto here could probably hold her own against the other fiancées. Girls, this is my fiancée, Akane."

Minako let a silent 'oooooh…' loose and the fiancée suddenly found herself squirming under the intense scrutiny, as if she were undergoing inspection. The girls looked her up and down and she felt the need to direct their attention elsewhere.

"It was arranged by our fathers." Akane breathed silent relief at Ranma's intervention which abruptly shifted their focus from her and back to him.

"So _that's_ the obligation." Rei realized and the martial artist nodded.

"Who does that anymore?" Minako wondered aloud, causing the other girls to agree with her sentiment.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Ranma grumbled as Akane watched him continue his easy interaction with the girls. "Old man sprung it on me… us at the last minute."

"There seems to be no end to his foolishness." Ami commented dryly, earning another round of nods from her friends. Akane simply stared.

"Just how long have you known…?" Ranma looked at Akane cluelessly for a moment, then realized what he was missing.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes:**  
Ah, silly Senshi WAFF. Ranma with friends. I was scripting Ranma as having met the Senshi before hitting Nerima and taken on the role of Sailor Eris as a real transformation, having fully bought into the 'greater good' aspect of the role versus the pity party canon shows him in over the curse. In fact, that's pretty much an act just for people indulging in the notion that he should act how they expect him to. Onion layers are peeled and the NWC finally get a glimpse of this real Ranma- one who doesn't mind a female body since it's necessary to the job, shopping or gossiping with good friends. A lack of long term plot and a deficit of desire to write any more SM regulated Iris to crapspace.


	17. BoT: All the Time in the World

Oh look! I found an old USB drive with crap on it!

* * *

**The Best of Times : All the Time in the World  
**By Ozzallos

**I**t was like a sucker punch… A paper cut on her ear drum… Like being turned inside out… Or forced to eat Akane's cooking. It was pure sensory overload, as if she were being torn apart bit by bit and pasted back together in the most excruciating way possible. It was what Ranma Saotome, heir to the anything goes school of martial arts would expect hell to be—Twenty metric ass-tons of agonizing pain lighting up every nerve of her body as she was sucked through a very thin straw composed of molten salt, razorblades and glass.

In reality, she wasn't that far off.

Time and space distorted around the red headed martial artist, folding the mass composing her body across twelve dimensions like some mishapen orgami swan, tearing her apart atom by atom before reshaping her on the other side of the wormholes event horizon, spewing her violently out into open air. Concrete was the next component to be introduced into Ranma's world of pain as he fell through the intervening meter of space and onto the concrete without preparation.

"OooF!" Air exploded out of her lungs as she landed hard on her fuku clad derrière, leaving her in a daze as her brain began to reboot itself. "Sonava—"

"AAAhhhaaaahhh!" Even if her brain had been firing on all four cylinders, one meter of space between him and the wormhole's next occupant in freefall wasn't nearly enough time to react as Setsuna Meiou crashed into Ranma, sending both sprawling in a tangle of bruised arms and legs. The impact left both girls senseless for a moment before their higher brain functions kicked back in.

"Oh, God that…" Ranma began to complain, then blinked. "I'm alive?"

"Owwww…" Setsuna moaned, returning to consciousness. The frazzled green haired senshi swatted one of Ranma's arms off her face. "Uhg… of course you're alive, now get off me."

Ranma pushed out of the entanglement, leaving the woman known as Sailor Pluto to fall back on the the concrete while she checked to make sure all of her limbs and parts were present and accounted for. The red and black fuku she wore had survived through a pocket universe full of super youma had barely survived enough to leave her modesty intact. Ranma was in the process of smoothing the ruffled costume out when she noticed… The crowd. Staring at them.

…Which, all things considered, was only natural after emerging from a wormhole on the sidewalk intersection of a busy street. A small child accompanying one of the adults pointed with wide eyes as the crowd mumbled amongst themselves.

"Mommy! Who's tat?"

Dropped from a dimensional fissure, dressed like a magical girl and fresh off the field of battle, only one thing came to the redhead's mind. She pulled the double bladed staff of ascension off the ground and tilted it back over her shoulder with a crooked smile.

"I'm Sailor Nova. Sorry 'bout this."

"Sailor who?" One of the crowd's women asked, immedietly turning Ranma's rougish grin into a frown.

"Idiot." The real Senshi whispered so only the redhead could hear as she stood up, looking about the crowd _Of course they're drawing a blank_, Setsuna thought in an acerbic tone. Sailor Nova wasn't even a real Senshi. The Guardian of Time frowned, noting their location. They were still in Tokyo, that much was for certain, but if there was one thing she had developed over the last twelve thousand years of service, it was an acute awareness of her surroundings. They were most definitely not in the same place they had depart from. _That wormhole took quite a beating on our way out… Guess a little spatial displacement is a small price to pay for not being vaporized, torn apart atom by atom, wrapped around a singularity…_

The thought heartened Setsuna considerably as she addressed the crowd. "I'm Sailor Pluto. Have you seen our companions, the Senshi?" Blank looks continued to greet the pair.

"The Sailor Senshi?" She prompted, watching people shake their heads. "Sailor Moon? Murcury? Venus?" Pluto took a stab in the dark. "Sailor V?"

"Are they going to the same costume party?" A woman in the back ranks piped up, looking both girls up and down.

"Can I come?" A young girl with blonde highlights asked hopefully. "I can get a cat girl costume to go along with your pop idol outfit!"

The comment left Setsuna's cheek twitching and the majority of the crowd began to disperse having found a perfectly acceptable explanation for the strangely dressed women, even if their falling out of the sky was conveniently overlooked. After all, that sort of thing just didn't happen anyway. All but a few hopeful girls and one guy were left remaining when Pluto spun on a booted high heal back toward Ranma with a brilliant smile. "Oops! Late for the party! Time to go!"

She grabbed the surprised martial artist by the wrist roughly and practically dragged her a few feet to the nearest corner and into a back ally where a cold calculating expression suddenly replaced the care free mask. "We've got a problem."

"Yeah, we're going to be late for that party." Ranma deadpanned, snatching her wrist back from the Senshi. "Look, you may have saved my ass back there in youma land, but that doesn't give you the right to-"

"We need to transform. Now." The Senshi ordered icely, processing her own transformation sequence back into that of her civilian alter ego. The redhead bristled at first, but something in the woman's tone brooked no room for petty argements. The Senshi of Time was serious and Ranma decided to play along. One pink and one light blue flash later found both women standing in their civilian identities, one in a lavender business suit and skirt, the other in a red Chinese shirt and black tangs. Giving the allyway a quick glance, Setsuna Meiou got down to business. "Something's wrong."

"Look, if it's monsters, you handle it." Ranma shook her head affecting a totally uncaring attitude. "Some of use don't have magical girl armor to augment our stamina and I'm beat."

"I'm serious, dammit!" The green haired woman hissed. "Where are the girls?"

"Gone home, like we should be doing." Ranma shrugged, but the question had done its job, seeding doubts. Usagi wasn't they type to just up and leave without knowing if all of her friends were okay. Neither were most of the other girls. The Outers, maybe…

"And your friends?" Setsuna returned pointedly, causing the martial artist to stall.

Ranma frowned. Ryoga would bail. Mousse too. Cologne maybe, but not Shampoo. Or the cat-girl robot. Both would probably set up camp at the base of the portal until it spit her out. The fact that neither had glomped on her the moment she had hit the ground was fairly ominous.

As her brain was reaching for an alternative, a most unlikely thought came to mind. "What about spatial displacement?"

"The first thing I thought of." The Guardian of Time nodded, staring back at the pedestrians passing on the sidewalk at the mouth of their alleyway. "The fact that none of them even know…" Setsuna's voice trailed off and she was left blinking as her brain finally caught up to the Saotome's question. Red eyes turned on the girl with piercing focus. "Exactly what do you know of spatial displacement?"

The redhead blinked, as if she were recovering from one of the bouts of inattention that regularly plagued her. "Huh? Spatial what?"

"You asked if spatial displacement may have caused our problem." Setsuna stated, staring at her unlikely partner curiously now.

"No I didn't." Ranma dismissed the statement. "But it is weird that we ain't anywhere near where we left."

"Right." The Senshi's cheek ticked now, uncertain on whether her part time nemisis was playing games or not. "That would be… Nevermind. I suspect it may be the least of our problems, however."

"What, we just get our bearing and hop on over to the gate." Ranma stated, making for the alley entrance, only to be stopped by Setsuna's next words.

"Assuming it's still there." Setsuna continued, drawing Ranma back away from the street. "Something is wrong here. That crowd didn't even know who the Sailor Senshi were."

"So?" Ranma shrugged. "I didn't know who they were either until that stupid wish."

"This is Tokyo, Ranma!" The Mistress of Time lost her temper, biting back at her redheaded annoyance. "Clueless martial artists aside, everybody knows who the Senshi are!"

"Considering the amount of collateral damage, y'all cause, I'm not surprised." Ranma smirked, earning a deadening glare from the Senshi.

"We do what we have to to save lives." She hissed icely. "if it weren't for us—"

"All of Tokyo would be a youma playground, by now, yeah, yeah." Ranma rolled her eyes, turning away from the woman. "I'm going home. Go find Usagi or something and tell her we're okay. I'm beat."

"I'm serious, damn you!" Setsuna yelled, only to watch the martial artist waver and abruptly waver out of existence. "Get back here! We have a problem and you can't just walk away!"

Ranma could and did, sheathing herself in the cloak of the Umi Sen Ken and leaping up the rooftop above, leaving Setsuna alone in the alleyway with a scant few people staring at her from the sidewalk, wondering just who she was screaming at.

"I hate magical girls…" Ranma mumbled as he hopped across to another building, this one taller than the last.

Much as she hated to admit it, the woman was right, there was something wrong. Even from her vantage point high above Tokyo's street, things were… off. The overall theme was similar, but everything was jumbled. Tokyo Tower should have been a little further downtown, for instance. The Nakamira building, off to the right a little more. It was all skewed just enough to where Ranma couldn't blindly rely on memory to get back to Nerima. She would have to pay attention- lose attention –in order not to get lost.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes**- The offical (but dead!) continuation to The Best of Times, backfilling plot to the end where in Ranma and Setsuna get sucked through a destabilized gate back to earth and watch reruns of 'Sliders' along the way. The initial relationship would start out fairly adversarial in keeping with the tone they started on and slowly move to romance as they struggle to get back home. main cause of death here was work... too much of it. This would be a massive crossover each chapter, requiring extensive fact checking and investigative work this humble fic author simply doesn't have time for. Secondary cause of death was divorsing not just one, but two characters from their canon series. There are work around that could have been employed, sure, but I at least_ try_ to opt for the KISS method of fanfiction- That's 'Keep It Simple, Dumbass' for those of you just joining us :)


	18. The Darkening Season

"Sorka is at the top again!" An anonymous female from the crowd of teens announced as they studied the bulletin board before them. Posted upon it were the final scores of Furinkan's finest, those having the strength, stamina and slightly off kilter view of reality to have survived three years of the institution mistakenly called a school.

Oh, and studying helped too, on occasion.

While martial arts and chaos were normally at the top of the curriculum, the teachers of Fruikan High were determined to get the most out of their students education in the most unorthodox manners possible, even if that meant a badly administered crue cut or literally sucking the life out of said students. Amazingly enough and contrary to popular belief, Furikan's graduation rates were well above the national average, a fact that baffled most education officals. Some would attribute it to the bizarre, yet effective teaching methods when in reality there was a far simpler explanation: Students just wanted to get the hell out of Furinkan alive.

Another student's fingers ran down the list, sorted by grade class and name. "Looks like Yumi has the number two slot… ninety-eight percent."

"Figures." A male voice snorted. "So who's got number three?"

"Ummm…" The finger continued tracking through the list. "Letsee… Seniors, Hinako… No way."

"Huh?"

"No _fucking_ way." Another voice chimed in, coming to the same revelation.

"What? What?" A teen urged, unable to see from his vantage point deep in the mob.

"Third highest graduating score goes to…" The girl paused, taking advantage of the surreal moment, "Ranma Saotome!"

Even as the crowd gasped in collective shock, a certain dark blue haired girls eyes widened in disbelief. One by on, all of the students turned back on her, which was understandable… He was her fiancée, after all and the words 'Ranma Saotome' and 'acedemic excellence' didn't exactly share easy company. In fact, most of those present found them mutually exclusive.

So did Akane Tendo, who stared for a moment in disbelief before promptly fainted dead away.

* * *

Halfway across the prefect of Nermia Tokyo, a certain Amazon elder was having her own son in-law troubles, though as much as she would like to blame him, this particular incident fell squarely in her lap. Beside her stood her heir Xiam Pu in what had been her fashion standard since arriving in Japan; richly embroidered lavender chinsese silks that not only matched her vibrant purple hair, but accentuated her figure as well. The latter was good for both business and fiancé hunting, even if the latter had yet to yield tangible results. Staring up at the store front beside her Mu Zsu, adjusting a pair of cokebottle rimmed glasses to better focus on the spectacle in front of the trio, as did the crowd behind them.

After all, it wasn't everyday you had a rather large pentagram scrawled in blood across the front of your establishment.

If it came down to a blood test, Cologne was releatively certain that the symbol haphazardly splattered across the Nekohan Ten banner and underlying windows and walls wouldn't be human, but that didn't make the threat any less ominous. Human blood would probably attract too much attention, after all. Even so, the message was loud and clear, to Cologne at least. Everybody else, including her heir and duck-boy would be in the dark as to who would commit such a outrageous act. Many would probably assume it was some sort of cult. Close, the Elder sniffed as she eyed the circle and it's multi facetede triangle, the blood running down the side of her business. But she knew, leading to the inevitable question.

"Aiyah! Who would draw such an evil symbol on our resteraunt, grand mother?"

Cologne turned away from the symbol, ,leveling her gaze on the purple haired Amazon. "It was only a matter of time, great grand daughter. Our presence her in Japan has not gone unnoticed."

* * *

**Crapspace Notes-** Every once in a while I'll get the urge to do a Vampire or Immortal Ranma fic like so many other other authors. This one had Ranma realizing somehow that he- rather she (gasp!) -was going to be around for a long, long time via the curse and started taking things a bit more seriously... Not obvious at first, but making roads for the day when he would be forced to part company with those he would eventially have to watch die of old age. Along the way, Cologne screws up and introduces Ranma to beings he really shouldn't be associating with and plot begins. Actually, that's just the vehicle for a plot since this one had no end plot itself. That, my friends, makes it crap.


	19. 4d6

**2d4**  
By Ozzallos

**A**ll things conconsidered, it was a sight for sore eyes. The house before their ragged party was the quintisencial cottage, it's structure composed of solid, gnarled wood wall that bore evididence of being axe cut while its thatched straw rook glowed dull yellow under the mid summer's afternoon. Behind it was the forest, inviting and beautiful along it's tee line, but decending into forboding darkness the further one investigated it;s depths with the naked eye. And entergetic brook burbled along the properties edge, completeing the idellic scene.

"Indeed." Arellette arched a thin brown eyebrow to the aged mage at his side, as he studied the scene himself. A six month trek accross hard land, harder mountains and every vile evil in between... for this? The sharp eared ranger nearly scoffed aloud at the notion.

"This be the home of a Godslayer, ye say?" The shorter being on his left asked with sufficiency skeptisim to nearly mirror Arellette's thoughts completely. That fact was a miricle in itself as neither dwarf nor elf tend to agree upon anything, ever. "I was expectin' somethin' a wee more menacin'... The plate armored dwarf scanned the scene, looking for a threat. "Maybe a cave... A dungeon or such?"

* * *

**Crapspace notes:** Wow, incredibly short, ne? This was my very abbreviated dip into the AD&D side of things. You know, adventures, elves, dwarves, Ranma becoming an old school AD&D god and visiting his native realm for tea and crackers with kami-sama? Yeah, the urge kicks in whenever I read win or fail within this genre. Oh yeah. And Ranma-chan. Lots of that. What's the HTML markup for "chortling" again?


	20. XMen Concept

**Xmen**  
By Ozzallos

"**W**hat's this?"

Kasumi Tendo ceased her humming and looked up to find her younger sister fingering a large gold trimmed white envelope. She shrugged, returning to her dishes. "A letter for Ranma-kun. A nice little red girl dropped it off about a half an hour ago."

"You mean a girl in red," She corrected, fingering the embroidered gold lines swirling along the edge of the envelope. It all but screamed 'money' and she was the sister was tempted to tear it open right then and there.

"No, I mean a little red girl," Kasumi corrected easily, placing another dish into the clean stack while lowering another into her dishwater. "She had the cutest little tail too."

Nabiki arched her eyebrow with the comment, then let her eyes wander back to the letter. Little red girls bearing shiny gold trimmed correspondence? _Oh, I'm definitely opening this now._ Putting thought to action, she found the envelopes seam and pulled her nail across it easily. Kasumi paid the barest of attention as she did so, mildly curious as to the contents herself. The middle Tendo's finger fished through the breach, pulling out the folded letter to spy its contents.

"Greetings headmaster Saotome Ranma, you are hearby invited to participate…" Nabiki's voice trailed off as she reviewed the opening no less than three times before continuing, each line reading more unbelievable than the last.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes:** I... Um... I'm not even sure where I was going with this one. I found it. And that's all. The original file date reads May 5th, 2009 but I can't for the life of me remember even what I was going to do with this one. it was probably born from the fact that most Xmen xovers are indeed crap and that's the only reason I would have started one up myself... out of spite. The only thought process I can reconstruct is trying to diverge from the same ol 'Ranma goes to Xavier's School for Redheaded Step-Children' tripe you see regurgitated time and again. the professor bit was probably something to keep him in Japan and out of the same student or loner role he's usually cast in for this xover... Ranma's own branch of Anything Goes Gifted Students Academy set up in secret. Of course, he'd have to kind of bumble into the job unwillingly, taking on a mentorship role quite by accident, etc etc.


	21. Yesterday's Curse

**Yesterday's Curse**

"Um, can I help you miss?"

Ranma Saotome, currently disheveled air to the Anything Goes School of martial arts froze midstep as the question drifted to her ears. The redhead managed to suppress the twitch that the query produced and slowly turned to the concern citizen, whose eyes widened further upon fully taking in the teen's ruffled state. She was definitely attractive if one could look beyond the mud caked skin, light scratches and ripped silk shirt that looked as if it might have once been a deep red before it had been subjected to… high temperature? Crystal blue eyes found his and he could easily see that dispite the frigid look that the young girl was truly a beauty, one that would grow up to be an absolute bomb shell unless he missed his guess. The girl's ragged appearance couldn't hope to hide her figure and it's tattered state even offered tantalizing glimpses of what was beneath.

Still, the citizen forced his mental observations back on track since her condition was disturbing at best. At best she had obviously been in an accident or even a fight. At worst was definitely a possibility of rape at this point even if her collected demeanor spoke to the contrary. The eyes continued to fixate on him, further concerning him.

"Uh, Miss…?"

"Yeah, you can help," A dead smile to match the cool gaze began to creep across her lips. "First, ya can stop my idiot father from screwin' up my life any more than he already has. Second, find a way out of the **jotzotzuke **Amazon kiss protocals of the. Third, salvage what's left of my best friend's friendship without rippin' her heart out. Fourth, find a good psychiatrist for both Kuno and his sister. Fifth, track down and kill whatever it was my fiancée cooked last night." She paused, and the dead smile turned upward slightly, affecting bitterness. "And if ya should manage that, get Nabs off my ass, keep the martial arts challenges to a minimum and maybe keep Akane from bein' kidnapped for another six months."

The stunned pedestrian blinked, and the redhead snorted to herself, returning back to her original direction of travel. Three steps down the sidewalk she paused and half turned back over her shoulder. "Oh, and if ya can throw me a cure to my curse, it'd be appreciated, ya know?"

Of all the thoughts currently vying for attention in the strangers brain, only one managed its way through the path of confused neurons her request produced. "Ah, which curse is that?"

The girl cocked her head, as if to put some thought into his question, then shrugged. "Pick one. Don't think it matters at this point."

With that, the man was left staring at the bedraggled girl's back as she continued her trudging down the sidewalk.

* * *

_Ding-ding!_

**A**s a rule, everybody is afraid of something. Some people are afraid of spiders. Others are afraid of the dark. A lot of these fears are quite irrational, such as the fear of water on dry land or the color red. Most of Ranma Saotome's fears, however, were quite justified. While many people are afraid of cats, few were wrapped up in fish sausage and tossed into a pit of them. Repeatedly. At the age of five. Nor did they turn into a martial arts berserkers after prolonged exposure to said felines. The same could be said about his fear of water. While this particular phobia was quite innocuous, one had to take into account that Ranma had been exposed to the magics of jusenkyo and could potentially die of embrassment while changing sexes at the wrong moment. Likewise, he was afraid of Akane's cooking, but then who wasn't? Anything that could eat its way through a cast bronze cooking pot, through the countertop and down into the foundation of the house was something to be given a wide berth.

Finally, there was his fear of bells.

Bells were hardly the harbinger of doom for the average seventeen year old Japanese male, unless that seventeen year old Japanese male had been pursued through the back forty of China by a homicidal Amazon, then engaged to marry the very same homicidal Amazon. She was admittedly cute in the eyes of Ranma Saotome, if one could get past the fact that not only had she tried to kill him, but was curse to transform into a cute pink kitten with cold water.

Fear of cats, check.

Fear of water, check.

The bells were almost an aside to that mental checklist, as they invariably signaled the inevitable decent and landing of this Amazon's bicycle on his person, normally his forhead to be specific. Thus it was of little surprise that when the sound reached the redhead's ears she cringed and ducked through the gate to her immediate right in hopes of avoiding the painful event and the glomping that was sure to follow. After that would come Akane. Somehow she would be there to witness the event, where upon Ryoga would wander by…

Thus, Ranma Saotome's fear of small bicycle bells.

The redhead cringed and flattened herself against the inside of the gate wall, hoping to minimize her profile. In retrospect, it could have been any of the thousands of delivery people that conveyed sustenance to the populous of Tokyo, but the Saotome had learned long ago that she was hardly a conduit of good luck and thus pushed her power levels down in hopes to escape notice. After a minute of silence, the pigtailed girl relaxed. Maybe God was cutting her some slack after this mornings escapade she mused and began to take in the details of her hiding spot. _Speaking of God,_ she mused and let her eyes wander across the architecture of the temple grounds she had leaped into during her panicked retreat. The place was a mess, Ranma noted, but its ancient linage was unmistakable. She took a tentative step further onto the property that had saved her from another certain doom and marveled at the peace that permeated the decrepit temple. It may have looked dead but somehow it retained an intangible vibrancy about it. She padded across half dead grass and onto an old stone path that led under a deteriorating wooden arch and to the beaten temple doors themselves, but declined to enter. Instead, she gave the exterior another once-over before simply sitting down on their pitted steps. _May have just found a new hiding place_, Ranma smiled, marveling at how the property seemed simultaneously remote, yet accessible. It was a bit of a hike from her own stomping grounds, but that just meant a better chance to slip the chaos that was usually gunning for her.

Ranma took deep breath and relaxed, something that was a rare commodity since her run-in with jusenkyo. She had the peace and quiet. Now all she needed was a cup of hot water and she'd be set. Or not, the redhead revised mentally. That guy back there on the street still had to come through on his end of the deal.

_What a mess_, she groused, kicking a stone away from the base of the steps. Against all odds she had managed to retain her honor, but it was seriously kicking her ass as of late, especially today. Akane's lunch got away and she—he at the time -got the cold shoulder for even suggesting that it need to be caught before somebody got hurt… Or fed, whichever came first. Not that mentioning the latter had helped matters, Ranma admitted silently. Shampoo was more than willing to step to the plate with lunch after that, prompting Ukyo to join in on the impromptu martial arts cooking tournament. Akane's slow boil reached its flashpoint with the arrival of Kodachi and her paralysis muffins, and it was all Ranma could do to keep from getting pulled apart by any one girl. Something had to give, and that something was named Ryoga. Where had he come from? Where did he go? Ranma Saotome sure as hell didn't know, but he stayed long enough to vent his anger and destroy an entire wing of Furinkan in the process. Not that Mousse or Kuno helped any. Or the principle. Of course, none of _them_ were blamed for the destruction. No, that had all been laid solely at her feet. Akane was angry, the rivals were riled and the other fiancées were frenzied.

Which would explain the tattered clothing, scratches and bruises that she now bore. Ranma shook her head slowly. One would have thought that almost being merried would have settled things slightly...

* * *

**Crapspace Note:** Another one where I've largely forgotten what I was going to do with it. I_ think_ this was my Ranma gets cured fic, but not. Ranma gets a cure (I'm assuming at this shrine here) but quickly finds the price of the cure is his freedom. Without that single obstacle, pressures mount for him to do something concerning the canon fiancee mess while the cure itself eliminated any outlet to goof off, such as scam treats, eat ice cream etc. The weight gets too heavy and it comes to be that Ranma has use the curse as a necessary psychological outlet and comes to re-realize what he did in book 38... It's just a thing and re-curses himself just to feel whole again. An emo drama if i had to categorize this craptastic work. It may have even been my one and only Ranma-Akane match :o


	22. Lyrical Ranma

Assuming you're reading this within a few months of the publish date, yes i'm still alive, yes fics are being worked on and yes, you are- of course -completely awesomesauce.

* * *

**Lyrical Ranma  
**_By Ozzallos_

**.001**_**  
B**attle damage._ In a way, Ranma almost felt sorry for the old dojo, if not a little guilty. Most of the tatame mats at his feet were a complete loss, featuring burns, rips, slices, gouges and the other numerous hallmarks denoting the destructive activities that had taken place on them less than forty eight hours ago. The pigtailed boy's eyes wandered across the devastation, noting that the east wall now sported a semi circular breach into the courtyard beyond. The shaft of light that shown on him now was courtesy of the newly installed skylight that Happosai had been forcibly ejected through after draining the last of the nyaniichuan.

The martial artist shook his head wearily and gripped the bamboo broom in hand tighter as he endeavored to collected another broken... Ranma paused, unsure as to what the composite of splintered wood and shattered glass may have once been, but ended up sweeping it into a pile regardless. Was the disaster that befell the wedding intended for one Akane Tendo and himself his fault? No. That particular effort belonged solely to the middle Tendo just to his right, wandering the space while tallying the damages on a calculator. She too looked up at the crude skylight and frowned before punching another figure into the calculator.

"I'm estimating twenty thousand, not including labor," Nabiki commented after another series of calculations. The martial artist stopped sweeping and sent a bland look in her direction.

"You know you're half the reason this all went south, right?" The sister's eye arched, and he was only allowed to continue for a moment before being cut off. "If you hadn't invited all those people-"

"'All of those people', as you put it, didn't include martial artists," Nabiki returned indifferently, earning a scowl from Ranma. "_I_ merely invited everybody else."

"So use all the money you collected from the gifts!" He snapped, and the teen merely sighed.

"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma," She tisked with mock sympathy, pocketing the calculator as she moved across the room to inspect a crater blasted into the baseboards. "Do you honestly think weddings pay for themselves? That the tux and wedding dress fairies magically knit clothing during the night for your use?"

The pigtailed boy opened his mouth in rebuttal, then closed it for lack of a sufficient rejoinder. While there was still some questions as to how much had gone to pay off the wedding expenses and how much the girl had pocketed, Nabiki was right. _Not as if the Tendo and my old man are swimmin' in cash_, Ranma mentally rolled his eyes, then sighed. He could do the labor portion of the job._ God knows I got practice doin' that_, a portion of his psyche quipped as he tackled the dilemma while in turn granting the middle Tendo her due. Materials, however, were another matter entirely, and he siad so aloud.

"So no money to pay repairs and crap?"

"Not nearly enough," The Tendo turned away from her detailed inspection of one of the tatame mats, then smiled. It was a the smile Ranma would expect from an alligator and he treated the girl before him as such. "Fortunately for us, you are quite the marketable commodity."

Betting pools. Photos. More handkerchiefs. _If I'm lucky_, the pigtailed boy winced while all to readily realizing the precarious situation he was in._ Think, think, think_, was the mantra drumming through his brain now and his mouth blurted the answer before there was time to filter the repsonse. "I'll pay for it!"

Nabiki simply sniffed, cocking her head with amused curiosity. "Really, Saotome. You and what inheritance?"

"Don't worry about that," Ranma returned hastily, leaning fully into the ill-advised strategy now. "I'll fix what I can and get you the money for the rest."

"If you say so," Nabiki still look upon the martial artist with a healthy amount of skeptisim, while the tone of her voice made it clear that she didn't believe a word of it. "But don't keep me waiting. While I may not practice myself, this dojo is the home to my mother's shrine. I doubt any of us will look kindly on its... _disrepair._"

Ranma fought the flinch that threatened to wrack his face from the tendo's emotionless words and cold stare. It melted into indifference moments later and she walked passed him and out through the dojo's proper door. The martial artist waited for another full minuted before loosing the breath that he had held while shaking his head to himself. She was right, of course. It was all a last minute gambit of desperation and needless to say the martial artist had no idea where he would get the money. Waitressing at either Ucchans or the Neko Han Ten was out. They simply didn't pay enough and after this particular disaster it would create more fallout than he was willing to deal with at the moment. _Shitstorm waiting to happen is more like it,_ he added mentally, crossing any employment venture with either off his list.

The pigtailed boy shook his head and propped the broom against the wall to survey the destruction without really seeing any of it. Instead, he focused on the need to aquire funds and the consequences of failure to do so, taking to the entrance himself with the need to catch a breath of fresh air and clear his head. Much as it rankled against him to go along with Nabiki's plans, he wasn't about to contest the importance of the shrine. Still, it would take money he didn't have. Any job he could think of- even one that didn't involve another fiancee -wouldn't bring in the money fast enough._ Wouldn't be in this situation if-_

"Oh, dear," Ranma's head snapped up from his introspection to find none other than his mother walking from the house to the courtyard, inspecting the damage as she drew closer. A mild look of concern crossed her face as her gaze flicked from what lay beyond the interance to the circular hole in the dojo wall. "I must admit, it didn't look so disheveled yesterday..."

"Hey, Mom," Ranma simply nodded with a complete lack of enthusiasim before addressing her missive. "Surprised it's still standin' personally."

The Saotome matriarch joined her son just beyond the dojo's threshold, continuing to study its damage while contemplating her son's involvement in the affair. After a moment, she simply sighed, looking at her son. "He has created a mess, hasn't he?"

Ranma blinked with slight surprise that his mother had even broached the issue of his fathers inadequacies and thus decided to step lightly around the topic instead of engaging in his usual banter. "I can fix some of it, but its still gonna cost an arm and a leg to get it back to the way it was."

Nodoka peered inside the intrance and instantly regretted the act upon seeing the internal devastation wrought upon the dojo in full. After another full minute surveying the damage while Ranma looked on, she removed herself from the doorway, shaking her head. "We'll... we must do the honorable thing, I suppose."

"Honorable don't even begin to describe what-!" Her son was on his way to working up a full head of steam when she bid him gentle silence with a finger.

"Yes, son, I realize the situation has been... Manipulated to a degree by Miss Tendo," Nodoka chose her words carefully as Ranma simmered, but held his tongue as she continued. "The fact remains, however, that there would be nothing to manipulate were it not for Genma's indiscretions."

"I guess that's the polite way ta put it," Ranma grumbled, readily agreeing with his mother's synopisis of the situation... at least until he heard her next words.

"As well your own."

Ranma blinked. "Wha...?"

Nodoka's face picked up the slightest edge of a mischevious smile. "As my manly son, it is certainly your responsibility to either make proper mistresses of the other women seeking your attention or make your position clear. While a large portion of their presence can certainly be attributed to dear Genma, you yourself have let the problem linger for entirely too long."

The pigtailed teen stared at his mother, barely comprehending her words. After his brain had circumnavigated the portion concerning mistresses, he shook his emphatically at the rest. "Yeah, that's great in theory and all, but then what about the next fiancee? And the one after that? Ya haven't been around enough to know that the fat ol' Panda just ain't gonna stop. He sure as hell hasn't for the last decade and change."

"I... I'm working on that," She admitted, and the smile faded into resolute acceptance. Part of Ranma's heart winced to watch it simply evaporate from his face, while another part of him silently cursed his directness. it wasn't the way he had wanted it to come out, but the last forty eight hours had been nothing but one huge- "Be that as it may, this," She gestured to the dojo. "Is still our responsibility. Until my Genma is able to bear the weight upon his shoulders once more, I ask that it fall to my manly son."

Ranma stared at his mother and she turned her gaze downwards with the soft request. Sure, he could have refused her in theory, but she was his mother and after ten years gone from his life... He turned a light hearted smirk upon her instead. "Feh, was gonna do that anyway. No idea where I'm gonna get the money for some of the repairs, though..."

Nodoka's visage returned to him with a gentle, almost humorous smile. "I seem to recall many a times where I was forced to part with trinkets in order to make ends meet while your father was away."

"Which only makes me want to serve him up an extra helpin' next time we spar," Ranma snorted, turning back to the dojo. "Too bad I ain't got no trinkets to... Sell?"

Nodoka watched her son lapse into deep thought curiously. "An idea, son?"

"I... ah... maybe," Ranma replied haltingly as a train of thought formed and boarded in time with the rapid blinking of his eyes. As a mater of fact, he did have stuff to sell. Lots of stuff. Probably not enough to make up the difference, but it was a damn sight better than zero. He returned his attention to his mother. "I gotta something to look into. S'kay if I tell ya about it later?"

"Of course, Ranma-kun," She nodded amiably, turning back toward the house. "I have laundry to wash. Do let me know how it turns out."

Ranma's head bobbed in agreement and he watched her return to the house, then ducked back into the disheveled dojo once she had disappeared from sight. The martial artist took a quick look around and plopped down on one of the undamaged tatames a the center of the devestation, producing a worn green bag from empty space. He dumped the bag uncerimoniously to the ground infronf of him and began to side through the contents on piece at a time. The first item he specifically targeted, pulling an engraved gold braclet from the stash of exotic goods. That's gotta be worth something, he decided, turning it at an angle to look at the ordiment while remembering just what had recided in the three vacant cavities along its circumfrence. Anybody else might have assumed they had once housed expensive jewels, though Ranma wasn't anybody else and knew better. He set the treasure aside with a slight twitch as to the adventure that particular item had spawned and began picking through the pile anew.

Chinese dish set of despair, the martial artist grimaced, carefully edging the plate and matching pair of tea cups off to the side... Well to the side and opposite of the bracelet. Can't exactly sell those, I guess. Ranma gave the bone china another uncertain look before continuing to rummage through the pile of artifacts. Cursed Spatula... Pass. Butterfly brocade? Ranma mulled over exactly who he would sell the rainbow brick of ink too before simply setting it to the side with a shrug. Next came the weapons, and he sifted through a trio of daggers, a bundle of hair pin spikes... A hatchet? Ranma blinked, testing its balance in hand before setting with the other weapons while acknowledging that half the aresenal he had picked up off of Mousse anyway. Ranma's attention was just turning to the accompnaiment of kunai when another glint of gold caught his eye. The teen dug past a folded japanese fan and picked the round ovaloid disk from the its brethern. Wonderful, Ranma thought blandly as he turned the makeup compact around in hand. While the gold and silver inlaid surface promised to be valuable, the magical mirror within wasn't exactly something he could simply shluff off on some poor sap. Last thing I need is for some old guy's store to get sucked in, he chuckled before giving it casual toss, sending it rolling over to join the dish set of dispair. It's metallic surface clinked against the white china and somthing clicked. Ranma glanced back to the sound, only to find himself staring into the open compact's mirror.

"Son of a-!" the world blurred into vertigo as Ranma realized his error all too late and when the disorientation finally subsided, the martial artist slumped with self depreciating irritation. "...bitch."

Ranma earth and sky now consisted of faceted crystal that reflected his image in peicemeal. His only path of escape lay in the heavens; a featurless ringed void already known to be unpassable through regular means. Ok, no worries, he decided, thinking his newest dillemma through. All somebody has to do is tap on the damn thing and out I go. The pigtailed teen reviewed his logic for a moment before frowning. Assumin' sombody doesn't come along, collect all the crap I left out there for the takin and close the mirror. Ranma came to a new conclusion as the picture of a panda pawning off all his loot came to mind.

"I'm screwed."

The pigtailed boy looked around at his crystal glass surroundings, then back up at the looking glass skylight above. Last time a simple leap through the threshold hadn't doone the job. While it was well within his ability to reach, there had been some invisible barrier that had blocked his exit. Painfully, a portion of his conscious added as he recalled the memory of running into the barrier like a bug on a windshield. Well that ain't gonna happen again, Ranma sniffed with mild contempt, mentally targeting the looking glass exit. If there was a barrier up there preventing his exit, then it stood to reason that it could be broken. Ranma nodded with the logic and powered up.

"MOKO TAKABISHA!" The ki shot flashed out and covered the twenty meters in just under a second, where upon it impacted the invisible wall wher it buldged slightly then reflected back down towards its point of origin. Ranma squaked with sudden surprise as he executed a hasty roll to the left, where the attack rebounded with a thud, then reflected again off the space he just vacated. This time it rebounded away a forty five degree angle and into the northern wall where it caught one of the off kilter crystaline facets to the ki technique racing across the across another random trajectory. The opposite crystal wall took the blast a moment later and reflect back into the floor Where Ranma was forced to scrmable out of the way once more as it continued though another three reflections before finally running out of steam with a hollow pop.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes:**

_______Well now how generic was that? 'Generic crap' would have been the answer for those seeking a solution to this multiple choice pop quiz. Really, this opening can take you a lot of places, but it was specifically designed to take Ranma straight into Magical Lyrical territory; the mirror actually being an intelligent device- the __original_ prototype device -that could be activated from the inside. Think of the inside of the mirror as being a mini dimension of crap space plot where diagnostics and device engineering could be tampered with. Ranma would activate it and it in turn would be disappointed with male Ranma's lack of magic, but thoroughly interested in the magical pile attached to -chan in the form of jusenkyo's link. In other words, all your magics are belong to us. From there things descend into a thoroughly average 'Ranma teh lyrical magical girl' plot that runs in parallel to the Nanoha canon. Why the mirror? because Saffron was being pissy and wouldn't let me use his staves for this one.

_______See, you think I just come up with this crap just to torture you (and I do), but really have no idea just how many -chan plots get discarded due to intrinsic fail :)_


	23. Pocket Change

A continuation of_ Exact Change_. You should probably read it first for this to make_ any_ sense whatsoever. Thank Rune Tobor next time you seem him stumbling about.

* * *

**Pocket Change**  
By Ozzallos

**I**t was raining. She hated the rain. There was a time when she loved the rain. She would hop from puddle to puddle and run around heedless of the soaking that undoubtedly awaited her. But that was a lifetime ago. Now all the rain was good for was misery. Lightning flashed through the night sky and she pulled the exotic broad sword from a recently deceased demon, thick black blood mixing at her feet and diluting into the downpour that continued to fall. It could be worse, the lone figure admitted as she stepped away from her victim. The rain could burn as it had in the other place, but fortunately didn't. Here it merely prevented her wounds from closing. She chuckled as her eyes traced the thin line of blood that now dripped from beneath her armor and onto the wet sidewalk below. Another scar to add to her collection. The blade cleared the chest cavity of her victim and the compilation of scales and horns began to smolder, alight with embers dispite the efforts of the storm. The sword flashed once more through the air to free it of the demon's blood before the redhead directed it back into its sheath slung across her back. One last look was all she spared for the burning corpse before turning her back on it. The body would burn out in minutes and the rain would wash away the ashes. Just like her life.

But now Ranma Saotome was back, and it was time to tie up some loose ends.

* * *

The dojo stood.

Ranma stepped inside the property gates with a mixture of awe and anticipation as the rain pattered around her. The soft glow of house lighting beckoned her forward and she felt as if she were living in some dream world, while the sting of her wound told her otherwise. Her hand paused at the door, remembering the conditions she had left- and returned –under. Ranma realized she might not be welcome and opted to simply knock on instead of walk right in. A mailed knuckle rapped on the door lightly and she didn't have to wait long. The door clicked open and she was greeted by the smiling visage of Kasumi Tendo.

"May I help—_oh my!_" The eldest Tendo gasped and Ranma was pretty sure she knew why. After all, it wasn't everyday a redhead you once knew showed up bloodied, clad in armor with a long sword strapped to her back. Little did she know that the universe had a perverse humor. Kasumi stared for a moment, then looked back into the house. Then back at Ranma. Then into the house. "Um… Uh… Come in… Ranma?"

Ranma inclined her head thankfully and stepped out of the rain. She loosened the armored boots she wore and shrugged them off, all while Kasumi stared on in disbelief.

"Who is it, Kasumi?" Nabiki's voice called from the family room and Ranma began to smile. Maybe she had done her job after all. That made for at least two family members still alive.

"Um, I think you might want to meet our guest…" Kasumi called back, stepping lightly through the totally unfamiliar situation. Ranma slid a chain mailed gauntlet off and Nabiki appeared in the hall, a sharp gasp accompanying her arrival as well. Her eyes were as large as saucers now.

"You're… You're…"

"Ranma Saotome." The redhead smiled slightly at her own little joke. "Sorry 'bout this."

Nabiki stared. And stared. And stared some more. In that time Ranma had managed to remove half the armor that looked a size too large on her to begin with. The breastplate clunked to the floor and Nabiki Tendo managed to form a coherent thought.

"You can't be Ranma…" She stated, though entirely uncertain of how accurate that statement was. A cold chill began to creep up her spine and somehow she knew the past had caught up to her.

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "Um, why not?" The armor was removed, revealing a red silken tunic and loose fitting black pants. The sheathed long sword didn't leave her back however. "Say, is Happosai around?"

Nabiki's attention narrowed quickly and she instantly recognized the probe for information masquerading as casual conversation. That would have to wait. Right now there were more pressing matters to attend—

"Who's at the door Biki… chan?" Ranma stepped up behind his fiancée and froze, seeing the redheaded doppelganger in the doorway. Both sets of eyes widened and they stared at one another with no small amount of surprise. "Well this is interesting…"

Ranma-chan snorted with amusment. "Interesting ain't the word."

* * *

Ranma-chan flexed her arm, studying the bandage Kasumi had expertly applied. "I told you, I _am_ Ranma." Even as she said it, doubt had crept into her voice. There was something wrong here and she was missing it. Something beyond the fact that there were now two of them sitting at the same dinner table. Particularly interesting was how Nabiki sat at her counterpart's side, a place that had traditionally been reserved for Akane.

The entire family simply stared across the dinner table. As if bidden by her thoughts, Akane spoke up. "Maybe she's another mirror clone?" The family twiddled with discussion over this new theory as if the new Ranma weren't there.

"AHEM." All eyes snapped back onto her. "Let me make this absolutely clear- I _am _Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Blade Master to the Third—" She closed her mouth suddenly. That was entirely too much information for the moment. She settled for a sigh. "Look, I'm me. I even have the curse." She turned the mug of warm tea over onto her head and instantly reverted back to his boy-type, which in turn made the situation all the more eerie as two identical twins sat across from one another.

Not completely identical, Nabiki noted silently. The new Ranma was harder. Had a more solid build. Scars. And he was right. The mirror clone didn't have the curse. "Ok, there has to be something we can do to sort this out." She thought about it a moment longer. "What did you do the last time you were here, um, ah… Ranma?" her Ranma gave her hand a squeeze to provide moral support, for which she was grateful.

The gesture didn't go unnoticed by the sword bound Ranma. Very interesting. And Akane was apparently ok with it? But that could wait. "Heh… Last time I was here? Cleaning up Happosai's mess. Say, where is he anyway?"

Nabiki paled and crushed her Ranma's hand, earning his undivided attention. "Oh shit." All eyes were on her now. Uncertainty radiated from her now and she stared down at the table. It was impossible. In-freaking-possible! That Ranma was dead! Hell, he shouldn't even _exist_!

"You know something." The statement from the new Ranma snapped her back to the reality that was beginning to twist out of control around her. Nabiki's head moved in the barest of nods.

She turned to her Ranma. "Do you remember what I told you about how I chose you?" The new Ranma's eyebrow arched and her Ranma nodded. Nabiki turned back to the Ranma across from her. "That's him." Now her Ranma stared as well. "Love, if you could get… The Letters."

Ranma looked at his fiancée. The Letters. The fact that they even existed was so far beyond the bounds of belief it wasn't funny, but they were both in his handwriting and even then, the thoughts expressed therein were totally alien to him. How he could have possibly written them in _any_ reality so strained his mental process that he wouldn't have believed it if not presented by the one person who he trusted implicitly—Nabiki Tendo, his fiancée and soul mate. He stood up, gave one last look to his fiancée and counterpart and padded up stairs to fetch the requisite parchment.

Nabiki was somewhat startled by the new Ranma's sudden realization. "Ok, where am I?"

She knew that it was a far deeper question than the wording belied. She decided to probe the depth of his knowledge before answering outright. Besides, explanations would be easier once she had the letters. "Why do you ask?"

"Cuz last time I checked, I wasn't engaged to you." He eyed Akane for a moment, who stared back at him cluelessly. That look was mirrored exactly by the rest of the family. "Hell, an even better question—What's _the date_?"

It was a good question for somebody in your position, Nabiki agreed silently. "January 5th, 1990."

A curious look spread across their guest's face and she began to mumble aloud, taking in her surroundings carefully now. "Only a week…? The dojo couldn't have been repaired… " He stared at his father now and mumbled something about him still being alive. Ranma's attention focused back onto Nabiki. "You got my note?"

She nodded, but the answer Nabiki provided was cryptic at best. "I got the note. Nobody else did." Ranma shot her a look and she held up her hand. "If you can wait a moment longer, I think I can explain everything."

Ranma reined her question, opting instead to get up and walk into the kitchen. The sound of splashing water was heard and a damp Ranma-chan returned to sit back down. "It's easier this way." She answered their silent curiosity and Nabiki agreed. Two identical twin Ranma's was just… unnerving. Her Ranma retuned from her room, two pieces of paper in hand and handed them to Nabiki, who in turn, handed them to Ranma-chan.

"This one you know." She handed her the first letter. And he unfolded it and nodded. She recognized it easily. It was The Ultimatium, the result of too many straws laid across his back .But after what she had been through, Ranma-chan almost wished he could just forget the entire incident. He refolded it and they exchanged papers. "This one, you don't know."

Ranma-chan read the letter. And re-read it. His eyes flicked from Nabiki, then to Ranma and back to the letter. There was no doubt. It was her handwriting. And the knowledge of her night in Zhan Quon was beyond question. But the entire context of the letter was framed as a warning concerning the future. His reality…?

"All right, Nabs, what have you been up to?"

"Don't call me/her 'Nabs'." Both Ranma and Nabiki intoned simultaneously. Both paused and giggled. Ranma-chan was taken back slightly. They _were_ close. Nabiki? Giggle?

"Let's move to the practice hall. This is for your ears alone." Nabiki explained. Ranma-chan couldn't wait for this explanation.

* * *

"We've screwed around with time, Ranma." Nabiki stated as the three settled into the dojo. "I stumbled across a honest-to-God time machine and got a glimpse of the future… Your future." Ranma-chan nodded, simply watching Nabiki as she explained. Nabiki absently noted she was taking it rather well. "The Ranma from that timeline and myself got together a month before _you_ were scheduled to leave with the intent to prevent you from leaving and the Dojo being destroyed."

"So it _was_ destroyed… Dammit."

Nabiki nodded grimly and her Ranma held her for moral support. "We tried a few things but it wasn't enough, so we thought about rooting the problem out at its source."

"Happosai." Ranma-chan hissed, and both Ranma and Nabiki watched an inferno build in her eyes.

"Right," She pressed on. "It didn't work. _You_ could have defeated him. The Ranma I was working with probably could have too. But the nature of time travel ensured that I could only work with a pre-Saffron Ranma if we were to tackle Happosai before he got the demon." Ranma-chan nodded, painfully aware of the odds that alternate self would have faced. "We tried negotiations but they failed. The good news was _that_ Ranma did defeated him. The bad news is that you got busted up pretty bad in the process." She paused… "That's when I took drastic measures."

"Drastic measures?"

"I went back to when I was seven years old and changed things." Nabiki admitted and Ranma-chan stared ate her with unbridled curiosity. "I… I made certain that you would never become Akane's fiancé."

"How…?" Ranma chan asked softly.

"I made some suggestions to myself." Nabiki replied. It had been a long time since she had to delve into those memories… The other life. "Even wrote myself a letter telling me that you were the perfect fiancé, then mailed myself _your_ letters a few years down the road." She smiled, looking at the Ranma sitting next to her. "I was right though."

Ranma-chan puzzled over the two. "So everything is different now?"

Nabiki nodded. "Everything. The dojo stands because we have a solid foundation to build on. It's gone a long way toward curbing Happosai ambition. Between, us Ryoga and Ucchan, he doesn't stand a chance."

An unpleasant smile crossed the redhead's face. "Speaking which, where _is_ Happosai?"

Neither Ranma or Nabiki liked the look in her eyes. The image of Ranma decked out in armor and wielding that long sword that still hadn't left her back was very disconcerting. "Out for the moment." Nabiki answered simply and decided they were in dire need of a change of subject. "I've explained my part in this, but that doesn't explain _you_."

Ranma-chan's evil smile transformed into one of simple mischief, and she used Nabiki's own words against her. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you shouldn't even exist, quite frankly." She stated with certainty. "The only one that even remembers all the crap I pulled is me. The only reason my Ranma here even knows is because I told him."

Ranma-chan looked down at her self, feeling out body parts at random with amusement. "I'm _pretty sure_ I exist…"

"Seriously." Nabiki cut through the humor. "My suggestions to my seven year old self—me –reformatted the entire timeline, not to mention the fact that you're here now." She squeezed her Ranma's arm as if to emphasize the point. "_And_ the fact that I was told that you were…"

"Swallowed up by a demon gate saving everybody's ass?" Nabiki nodded. "Yep, that's about what happened."

"Everybody from that timeframe thought you were dead." She pointed out.

"Pissed, yes. Dead, no." Ranma-chan dissimilated, then an edge of steel flashed through her eyes. "Ranma Saotome never loses." Nabiki watched as her own Ranma smiled faintly, the fact resonated through both Ranmas.

"That where you got the sword?" Ranma injected himself into the conversation after ten minutes of taking it all in quietly.

Ranma-chan stood up and unsheathed the blade. It was almost two blades, parting strait down the center while the dual tips ended in a lethal looking flare. To say it look exotic was an understatement and it nearly dwarfed its owner's current form. "Yah, there are just some problems that martial arts can't solve I found out." She smiled. "For everything else, there's Ketsueki Kaze." She proffered the blade to Nabiki's Ranma, who stared at it in awe.

"Blood Wind?" Nabiki asked warily upon the sword's formal introduction.

"Yep." She confirmed with a disturbing grin. "It was originally a demon blade, but I've been taking some perverse pleasure in slaying them with it."

"Slaying…" Ranma began hesitantly.

"…Demons?" Nabiki finished with incredulity.

Ranma-chan shrugged. "Had to do something to pass the time while I was trapped in their dimension. 'Cides, I was bored."

Both Nabiki and Ranma's thoughts came into convergence simultaneously. She was bored. So she became a demon hunter. Nabiki looked at her fiancée briefly, then back to Ranma-chan. She was clearly insane. "Um, exactly how long were you trapped there?"

"Five years, give or take." Ranma-chan figured. "Heck, imagine my surprise to find out only a week passed here …and finding the dojo intact …AND finding everybody still alive." Ranma handed Ketsueki Kaze back to its owner, who now wore a pensive mask. "There's somethin' I gotta ask ya…" Nabiki and Ranma waited. "How's Akane? I hated dropping the bomb like that, but I had to… Figured the more people hated the circumstance, the cleaner the break would be… But still…"

Nabiki took her hand for a moment. "You still don't understand… _It never happened_." Ranma-chan blinked with incomprehension. "The engagement… The wedding party… The dojo… It never even happened. She doesn't remember a damn thing because that's not how things went." She explained as gently as possible. "_I_ took _you_. Akane is going out with Kuno…"

Ranma-chan's mouth fell open. "KUNO?" Something about that struck her as absolutely hilarious and the other Ranma simply couldn't understand what was so funny. Nabiki could because she had actually lived that timeline herself.

She couldn't help but to chuckle at the redhead's reaction. "Let's just say Kuno-baby finally wore her down."

The girl was smiling wildly. This was priceless! "How about Ryoga?"

"Ukyo."

Ranma-chan's smile withered away and Nabiki's Ranma seemed to accurately gauge the reason for the sudden mood change. "It's okay… He's really been good to her."

"Better be." Ranma-chan grumbled at the prospect of his best friend going out with her old rival and former source of angst. "Shampoo?"

"Just got done kicking her butt again last week." Nabiki smiled ferally and her Ranma looked on her with affection.

"Yeah, she just never gives—" Ranma-chan's thought process ground to a halt suddenly. "Wait… _You_ kicked her butt?"

Nabiki smiled shyly. There was no way this Ranma could have known. "Yep. I kinda, well, suggested to my seven year old self that I take up martial arts. That and Lover-boy here is teaching me on the side." Her Ranma blushed as she leaned into him.

Ranma-chan stared in amazement as the two smiled warmly at one another. They were a real live couple! The Ice Queen had… Melted? She was almost jealous. "Wow, Nabiki… You really have changed…"

Nabiki nodded. "Not just changed. It's hard to explain… I was never the Nabiki you knew. I have her memories from when the timelines merged, but I _grew up_ in this one." She explained hesitantly. "The Ice Queen is like some fairy tale… I know her intimately, but she's not me…"

"Weird."

"Tell me about it."

"Sooo…" Ranma-chan started, using the most innocent face in her repertoire. "When do you think Happosai will be back?" Neither Nabiki or her Ranma missed how she absently fingered the hilt of her sword.

"No idea, honestly." And I hope it stays that way, Nabiki thought as Ranma-chan's glittered with the promise violence, despite of the innocent mask. "Forget Happosai for a moment," _please_, she mentally added. "Have you even given any thought as to where you're going stay tonight?"

Ranma-chan waved the question aside. "I'll manage."

Ranma seemed offended by this. "Hey, you're part of the family too. Hell, you're _me_. I think…"

Ranma-chan was about to protest when Nabiki cut in. "He's right. Give it a few days to think about what's next. Sounds like you have a whole new life ahead of you.

The redhead thought about it for a moment before consenting. "Alright. Then I might as well start my new life with a nice, hot soak."

Ranma stretched as his female counterpart took to her feet. "I might just join you on that one." Nabiki caught his eye. She wanted to talk. Alone. "Be up in a sec."

* * *

"So what was it like?" One Ranma asked the other, both submerged the tension relieveing pool of the bathroom furo.

The new Ranma shrugged. "The demon dimension?" The other nodded. "Pretty much like hell. Sure, there's some nice places, but it ain't exactly a place for people, y'know?"

"Huh." The Ranma native to the current timeline commented. "Five years… Whatdya do?"

An unpleasant grin fell across the new Ranma's face. "Caused trouble."

Native Ranma matched his grin. "Soemthin' tells me they oughta be grateful you found a way back."

"Oh yeah." He replied. "By the time I finally got loose, I think I was in the top five 'behead on sight' list."

"Not number one?"

"Hey, I was workin' on it!" The new Ranma protested, but smiled. "Now I gotta know… How about you and Nabiki? I just can't picture it…"

"Well, I was pissed when the old man first hooked up up with the Tendos…" the native Ranma began. "But me and 'Biki-chan just clicked y'know?"

"Wish I did…" The new Ranma sighed wearily. "Even after nearly three years Akane and I still couldn't pull it together."

The through elicited a chukle from the native Ranma. "Yeah, I kinda forgave Kuno of everything the day he and Akane started going steady."

"Got what he finally deserved?" the other wondered

"You could say that." Both laughed knowingly at the mutual joke. It was nice to know that somethings never change regardless of which timeline you came from.

"Alright… If I stay in here any longer I'll turn into a prune. " The new Ranma commented and stepped out of the furo. The native Ranma's eyes widened in shock as he did. His body had scars everywhere. The predominate feature was a solid line that ran diagonal down his back while several others crisscrossed the remaining space. His chest was no different and the native Ranma silently wondered if that his girl-type held those scars as well.

It was at that moment Ranma realize that they would have to keep this Ranma away from Happosai at all costs. This new Ranma was absolutely insistent on seeing the old pervert and if everything Nabiki said was true…

…Happosai had better watch _his_ back.

* * *

Akane watched the Ranma-_chan _watch _her_ Ranma and Nabiki spar. For all their sanity's sake the new Ranma had taken to his female to avoid the inevitable confusion, but it still hadn't helped to cleared the intense feeling of deja'vu she was feeling at the moment. It didn't help that she would occationally find him- her –sneaking the occasional peak at her. She was beginning to suspect that this Ranma was an even bigger pervert than the one engaged to her sister. Well whatever, Akane decided. She had been training. He'd be in for a rude surprise if he tried anything perverted. She would think that until she caught sight of the dual pronged long sword in its sheath. Now _that_ was a marked difference between her Ranma and this Ranma-chan. The Ranma she knew had an utter distain for weapons. The sword never left this one's side. She even suspected it went to sleep with him. It would have been an amusing joke if Akane hadn't thought that was in fact the case.

The next surprise came when Ranma asked Ranma-chan to spar with them… And declined. Nabiki, Akane and Ranma stared at her in disbelief. Was it even physically possible for a Saotome to even ever refuse a challenge? Apparently it was and Ranma-chan simply explained she was content to watch. Of course, what Ranma knew, nabiki did as well and they both thought along the same lines… Maybe it had something to do with the scars. Maybe they just weren't on the outside. They quickly found out why this new Ranma didn't spar.

She took one step outside the practice hall and was assailed by Genma, who was expecting his morning spring match. To his credit, it was virtually impossible to tell the two apart aside from a minor scar that inhabited the lift side of her forehead, usually covered by hair. The father jumped in ready with a witty retort when we was suddenly snatched from the air and thrown into the ground with crushing force, enough to leave a nice Genma sized crater in the Earth.

Ranma's father stared up into the eyes of the redhead and saw a killer. There was no soul behind those eyes and the less horrified part of his brain noted that it was like watching a computer at work with cold, calculating precision. The redhead- his son –blinked and the computer was gone as if the boy's soul had returned home to roost. The _other_ Ranma. Had to be. His son wasn't that… _Thing_.

"OH, SHIT! Pops!" The female voice exclaimed as if she hadn't a hand in the act. Ranma and Nabiki had been in the doorway and had seen the entire incident. Both stood in silence, having witness the act themselves. It was as if Ranma-chan had snatched the father from the sky as he jumped in and planted him into the ground as naturally as breathing. But that wasn't what worried them. The move was merely amazing. What truly worried them was the way he crouched above the neutralized body, like a spring coiled to maximum tension. Ranma himself was certain that if the old man had so much as flinched from his crater, there was a high likelihood that Pop's would be nothing more than a boneless sack of flesh.

Ranma-chan watched the horror pool in his father's eyes and she reached out to touch him, only to watch him shrink back. Her gesture to reach out died under a crushing wave of depression and tears began to form in her eyes. Before they could break she hopped up to the dojo roof lightly and gave the family one last look before breaking away at high speeds.

* * *

It didn't take long to find his alternate timeline brother, or sister as was currently the case. She sat on the embankment next to the bridge that was also his spot when he just needed to get away from it all. Ranma-chan sent a stone splunking into the resvoir at her feet and he made his way down to her.

"Ya know, he's dead where I come from." She opened without preamble and Ranma sat down next to the redhead and took a small stone from the pile she had collected, sending it into the water in keeping with tradition.

"Can't count the number of times I've joked about that…" Ranma replied solemly. "But to actually have it happen?" He shook the visage off like a bad memory. He wanted no part of it.

"Almost killed him myself there…" She commented. It might have seemed off hand to a stranger, but Ranma was quite literally talking to himself at the moment and knew the weight her voice carried. "Remember what it was like fighting Saffron? We were running flat out… Full power and then some."

Ranma simply nodded. it was the battle by which he measured his abilities by, but somehow he was beginning to think that wasn't the case for the Ranma next to him.

"I've been running on that razor edge for nearly two years." Ranma-chan stated and Ranma's head snapped up. "It's a goddamn miracle that I haven't bled to death on it… Or worse."

"Worse?"

"Yeah. You saw what I did to Pops." She nodded. "That was all automatic. The next technique that would have follow was meant for high level demon. The demon would have been hurt. Pop's would have…" She trembled slightly. "You got no idea what I'm holding back here."

"That's why you got all those scars, huh?" It was a rhetorical question, but Ranma was hoping to draw more than a rhetorical answer out of the girl at his side.

Ranma-chan chuckled without humor. "The scars. Not all those were in battle." Suddenly, Ranma knew this wasn't the turn in conversation he was looking to take. "Demons got some unusual past times, they do. But they got theirs. _Every single last one of em_." Ranma watched her thumb the jeweled hilt of her ever-present long sword. _Defintely_ time to change the subject.

"So was it all bad? Meet any interesting people…Er, demons… ?" He asked, hoping not to trip over another landmine in the process. Ranma breathed a silent sigh of relief when a crooked smile broke through her gloom.

"Sure, it's not all bad. Ya might even meet a few if I stick around long enough." Ranma-chan informed him with a mischievous glitter in her eye. "Oh, speaking of demons, what ever happened to Kodachi?"

Now it was Ranma's turn to snicker. "She's on probation for violating the restraining order Nabiki slapped on her a month ago."

"HA!" Ranma-chan snorted. "Damn, I really could have used one of those back in my time!" A mithful smile settled on her face. "Well at least some good came out of all this crap…"

"What's that?"

"No more goddamn fiancées.!" The redhead smiled widely. "You and Nabs—"

"Nabiki."

"Right, " Ranma-chan sniffed with amusement at the correction. "You and _Nabiki _pretty much lopped that problem off at the wrist. Can't tell you how much I was dreading having to surgically remove Shampoo from my arm or Akane's mallet from the side of my face."

"Hmmm… That reminds me…" Ranma began throughfully.

"Of…?"

"Once the old ghoul gets wind that there is another one of us to be had…" He let the implication hand in there and Ranma-chan rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well good luck to her." Ranma-chan stated and Ranma's eyebrow arched with curiosity. "If Mo-chan finds that granddaughter of hers hanging off my arm, I'll be the least of her worries."

"Mo-chan?"

Ranma-chan's eyes glittered with mischief once more. "Just someone I met about a year ago."

"Riiiiiight." Ranma clearly wasn't buying it. "Well, think we can go back to the dojo without killing anybody?"

"Probably."

"Probably?" Ranma echoed dryly.

"Come on. Ya never know." Ranma-chan flashed a smile as she walked back up the embankment.

* * *

"Damn Pervert!" Akane brought the mallet around hard, missing the annoying little gnome by several light years. "Come back her with those!"

"Ah, so soft!" Happosai exclaimed as he rubbed a pair of panties across his cheek. "Silky darlings!" The old letch bounced out into the living room and was greeted by a curious sight—Two Ranmas, or more specifically, one Ranma and one Ranma-chan. It actually distracted him enough to where Akane's mallet actually came within a few feet of him his person. The Master considered the matter for a moment, wondering if God had finally seen fit to bless him with two Ranma-chan's instead of one. Now all he needed was a glass of water and those dreams would be reality! Wait, he reasoned. It could be a trap. Got to make sure they're real.

_Glomp!_

"Sweeto!"

Happosai nuzzled Ranma-chan's breast and after a few seconds of uninterrupted playtime, looked up to see why this new Ranma hadn't retaliated. Instead, she was looking down at him with a gentle smile while the other Ranma was looking at the pair in abject horror. Akane stood there in much the same manner, only dumbfounded.

"Like that, dontcha?" Ranma-chan asked in a sweet voice. Happosai nodded with a confused smile of his own. "Feels good?" Again, another confused, but happy nod. "I'm glad." Happosai blinked as he watched the very life drain out of Ranma's eyes and the smile drop to a temperature of around absolute zero.

"…_Because it will be the last thing you ever feel._"

Happosai's eyes widened and he disengaged just as a blast furnace of power washed over him and everybody in the room. The air visibly rippled with power around the girl now as she slowly unsheathed the dual-pronged blade strapped to her back, which in turn glowed a menacing red.

She spared a glance over to Ranma, who was frozen in disbelief. She'd been suppressing this much power! It wasn't even a battle aura… It was something foreign… Otherworldly. And insanely powerful.

"Remember how you asked me if we could come back without killing anybody and I said 'Probably'?" Ranma-chan queried and Ranma nodded faintly. "Then again… Probably not." Her eyes swiveled back onto the old master who was noticing those very same eyes were flashing red now.

"Time to die, old fart."

* * *

"Ranma!" The body in the living room didn't respond, so his fiancée gave him a hard slap across the face. "RANMA!" This time his eyes flew open and he bolted upright, nearly toppling Nabiki over. After stabilizing the love of his life, Ranma took stock of the situation. There was less damage than he had been expecting. In fact, the only damage was the four foot scorch mark burnt into the carpet where his counterpart had been standing and the clean six by six foot smoldering hole carved through the far wall. Beyond it was the Tendo courtyard and another hole, this one through the property wall. Beyond _that_ was the slagged remnants of a car, a residential wall…

"What the HELL!" Nabiki hollered, regaining his undivided attention.

"Happosai felt her up." Ranma replied with a hard edge to his voice. "She snapped."

Nabiki surveyed the blast damage. "Snapped? With what, the Death Star?"

"We gotta help him, Biki… If we don't he's a dead man." Ranma explained.

"Now I don't think the master would kill him…" She reasoned, stepping out the hole while making sure she didn't touched the still flowing bits of wall. "Maybe make him try on a couple bras, but—"

"No." He cut her off softly. "If we don't get to him first, _Happosai's_ a dead man."

"You're kidding."

"Uh-uh." Ranma shook his head grimly, following her out the improvised exit. "I don't know what he's been doing in demon land, but our Ranma's power eclipses the master's by several magnitudes. We're gonna need everybody for this one."

Nabiki already had her phone out and dialing.

* * *

Ah, it's the little things in life you miss the most, Ranma-chan thought and she cleaved through another building. Hot baths… Food that doesn't bite back… And fulfillment of two years worth of accumulated vengance. Ranma-chan launched another line of energy downrange, obliterating a minivan with a blue burst power. She snarled as the old fart bounced out with only a singe for her troubles. He was so going to die, die, die, DIE!

Come on, Happosai!" She complainined in a sing-song voice. "This is hurting me more than it is you!"

"You're crazy, Ranma! …or whatever the hell it is you are!" Happsai bit back as another blast lanced his way. If he ever lived through this, he'd have to ask her how she got those to bend into their target like that. "What the hell did I ever do to you?"

"Hell…" Ranma-chan mused as she closed the distance in a blur. "What an interesting choice of words!" Happosai saw the blur simply vanished fifty feet out. He looked around desperately, finally noticing the shadow growing on the ground at his feet.

"SHIT!"

The old master leapt away as Ranma-chan's exotic blade cleaved into the Earth from on high, the magical edge digging deep into the asphalt road they battled on. Flames roared from the strike as it unleashed it's hellish might into the scar. He took the opportunity to send two ki blasts her way, only to watch the energy ablate off an invisible barrier. A circle of hieroglyphics pulsed from the ground around her with each successive impact and the ki shots were gone. What in the world kind of technique was that? A shield? His combatant ripped the blade from the ground and sliced into the air directly at Happosai, who was now thirty feet away. The sword sheared the air and Happosai wasn't quite fortunate enough to dodge the vertical wave front that tore across the distance. He flooded hi sbody with Ki fortification and it was the only thing that stopped him from being torn in half. Happosai shook it off only to find the girl closing the distance herself. The sword flashed as she twirled it around wildly and she jumped in.

Damn, he's going to force me, The perverted old master realized and unleashed the full might of his battle aura. The air around him pulsed and his form of power erupted to life, growing in size at an exponential rate. Ranma checked his advance and watched the aura grow with a curiosity that gave Happosai a small measure of hope… Until a wicked smile curled onto the redhead's lips.

She twirled the blade once more and sighed. "Happi, Happi, Happi… Do you even realize how painful this will be for you if you force me to go through that?" Happosai simply stared and a battle aura fist was brought to bear. "Not that I mind, of course. Might even be more fun that way." The fist roared in and Ketsueki Kaze flashed through the air, separating it at the wrist from the rest of its ki body. The ki fist lost cohesion and did nothing more than evaporate into thin air like a summer breeze. "Now it's time to get down to business."

She flashed Blood Wind in a vertical light and sliced through the main body of ki. Happosai winced. He felt the cut! He shouldn't have, but he—Pain ripped through his body and he could only watch as Ranma-chan herself forced her way into and through the battle aura itself, creating a small bubble of her own reality within the hostile tempest of energy. Happosai nearly doubled over with the intensity of the pain and Ranma-chan simply smiled that cold cruel smile. She took another step in towards him and her own bubble grew larger. She was like a cancer, eating away at his Ki and he could feel every excruciating moment of it as she did.

"Some how 'I told you so' just doesn't cut it…" She chuckled, then hefted the sword back into the air. She slashed through another random portion from within Happosai's battle aura which was starting to loose strength. Happosai's eyes nearly buldged from their sockets. "On second thought… Maybe it DOES cut it!" It was a bad joke, she amended mentally as she pushed through the old fart's field of ki some more. Bad, maybe, but this entire situation made up for it.

Happosai tried to feed more power into the aura. If she was a disease within it, he'd just have to crush her. He was now well into his reserves and could only watch as she took another step forward. Her bubble of reality grew and pain throbbed through him with each cycle of growth. How in the world was she interacting with my ki like that? The battle aura began to dissipate as the strain mounted. Ranma was moving through it easily now and he collapsed to a knee, exhausted.

_CHRAAaaK!_

One moment he was looking at Ranma trying to devise his next move, the next he was looking up her blade and into the sky. His neck easily fit between the two-pronged sword and she looked down its length at him.

"Wha- Wa did I ever do…" Even through his tiny neck fit within the prong space, it didn't make breathing any easier as he weezed out the words. She pushed the blade into the earth another few inches. While the insides edges of the weapon weren't sharp, the point at which they met was, and now it was functioning like a guillotine.

"You would like to know what you did to me?" Ranma-chan asked sweetly and she received the barest of nods, at least as much as the sword would allow. She pushed it down another inch. He now had less than a foot before his body was relieved of its head. She favored him with another soulless glance and began unbuttoning her Chinese shirt. "Remember how you want these _so_ bad? Happosai dared not move. "Well here they are. They're _all yours_." Ranma-chan shrugged the shirt off. And it floated to the ground. The Master could only stare.

Scars.

Everywhere. What he had once known were perfect, flawless breasts were now crisscrossed with scars of every sort. Strait ones. Jagged ones. Scars that looked like something had bitten into her. A larger one ran across her ribs and down her belly. She nudged the sword a few more inches into the ground an only a few remained. Ranma-chan could feel the hilt practically salivating with bloodlust as the demon trapped therein vibrated with anticipation. Normally she would give it quite the opposite of what it wanted, but this one time was an exception.

"These scars represent the sum total of your ambition, _Master Happosai_." She spat the title out as if it were a curse. "This is your lust… your greed for power. YOU did this to me. A year and some change of continuous, non-stop torture simply because _you couldn't let go_." Ranma-chan retrieved the shirt and buttoned it back up, then raised a fist above the hilt in preperation to drive the sword home like a stake. "A quick death is far, _far_ too good for you, but it's the only one I can offer. Nobody goes through what I've been through. Not even you."

"And now it's time for you to die.

Even as she flexed her muscle for the final stroke, the whistling of wind caught her attention. A red blur floated in and she rolled back as a crimson disk scythed between her and the sword, sending sparks flying off the hilt. An umbrella.

_Ryoga._

Ranma-chan twisted around as the umbrella returned to its owner and found the Hibiki wasn't alone. He was flanked by Ukyo, Ranma and Nabiki. Their faces were all business. It was a mixture of emotions that flooded through her at that moment. Bitterness for Ryoga. Friendship and sympathy for Ukyo. Distain for Nabiki and then there was Ranma. She didn't know what to think about Ranma, but it was growing darker the more she thought about it. He had the life she had wanted for so long. The life that she literally killed for. She decided disgust was an appropriate emotion for the clone standing across the road from her.

"_Don't_ interfere." She hissed, and turned back to the sword.

_TwaNG!_

She took a step only to find a small shiruken spatula imbeded itself at her feet. Ranma-chan stopped and turned back toward the trio. Her patience was wearing thin. "Why are you protecting him?"

"He's innocent, Ranma" Nabiki stepped forward. "This Happosai didn't do any of that stuff to you or us."

"Not now," Ranma-chan snarled. "But he will. He _always_ does. And I won't let it happen. Not again." She turned her back once more and smiled at Happosai, still trapped between the blades. "I wonder what other plans you have in store for us, hmmm? Maybe some more incense? How about summoning an elemental to do your bidding? No, I can't let that happen." She took another step back to the sword and felt ki ripple through the air. It closed on her at high speed and her patience ended.

The ki-fused bandanna passed through her after image and the trio stared as the new Ranma literally disappeared from sight, appearing _above_ Ryoga less than a second later. He was slow. Too slow. The double fisted blow sent the Lost Boy into the ground, buckling the earth beneath him. Ranma was faster to react and managed a spinning roundhouse kick before the redheaded demon disappeared from sight one more, rematerilizng behind him. He continued the spin and powered up for a Moko Takabisha, bringing the lethal ball of energy to bear at point-blank range. She simply considered him with that cold, dead smile as he unleashed the strike. It hit and flared with power, only to have it's full potential reflected back at the martial artist. Even as he was blown across the street and the smoke cleared, Nabiki and Ukyo were already jumping in. The flat of Ukyo Kuonji's combat spatual narrorwly missed her opponent. It wasn't designed to be a lethal contact. This was Ran-chan after all. It didn't matter as the attack only hit wind.

Nabiki was already after the evading girl and while Ranma-chan may have had some reservations about putting Ukyo in her place, those same reservations did not apply to the extorting, blackmailing bitch who was attempting to push a Chestnut Fist attack through her. Air pressure began to swirl into Ranma-chan's hand and she shoved the palm into her stomache. The shockwave erupted around her and Nabiki found herself stunned and airborne. She had enough awareness to realize that the high-speed interaction between her tumble and the wall she was heading for was going to hurt. The former Ice Queen braced her body with ki for impact, only to hit something much softer. Under other circumstances, it would have made her smile. Ranma landed lightly and set his fiancée gently to the Earth. She nodded and he leapt back into the fray.

Ryoga was up as well now and Ranma-chan was forced into a three front battle. "DAMMIT PEOPLE, Just let me KILL HIM!" She raged and cut loose two guided beams of power that Ranma and Ryoga narrowly avoided.

"What the hell happened to you, Ranma!" Ryoga screamed as the explosion erupted to his right, peppering him with earthen fragments. "You can't kill him! That's not the Ranma I know!"

"_The Ranma you know!_" She phased through his next ki attack and sent a glowing fist into his stomach. Ryoga's eyes bludged with the damage and he doubled over. "This coming from Mister 'Prepare to die, Saotome!" Another kick snet him into the apartment wall across the street. "You've got the nerve Ryoga… You honorless pig! Sleeping with Akane every damn night!" And angry red ball of power began to bubble in her off-hand.

The distraction actually allowed Ukyo to close to hand-to-hand range. Her future husband was about to take it on the chin and desperation fueled her movement. Not that she even came close to hitting the furious redhead, but it did serve to distract her, causing Ranma-chan to counter the move and sender her skidding over to the trapped Happosai. Ranma was next. He too penetrated to hand combat range only to have his fist intercepted by hers. She stopped him in midair sucked his body dry of ki in the contact. He fell to the earth as impotent as if Ms Hinako had done the job herself.

Ranma-chan studied her handiwork. Nabiki was combat functional but declined to engage him. Ranma was neutralized and Ryoga was still shaking off the effects of that apartment building attacking him. Smoke rolled around the girl as she stepped over the crumbled earth around her. Now if there were no other interruptions…

She turned back to the sword trapped Master and found the last obstacle.

"You can't do it, Ran-chan…" Ukyo growled and hefted her battered combat spatula to the ready.

"You can't stop me." Ranma-chan stated and stepped over to the pair.

Ukyo tensed. "You're not a killer… I know it!"

The Ranma in front of her paused. "I've killed exactly two hundred and thirty times since Happosai sealed me in that dimension." Her eyes narrowed on the sword and its victim. "One more won't hurt."

"It would…" Ukyo let the spatula drop and her eyes watered. "You're my best friend, Ranma. It would hurt me."

There were few things that would have piereced the blinding fury that consumed her. His counterpart couldn't have done it. Nabiki or Ryoga couldn't have touched it. A fiancée Ukyo couldn't have done it either. But Ukyo… As an honest to God _friend_… The one thing he had been hoping for ever since their reunion three long years ago. Not a fiancée, just a friend. His best friend.

Ukyo stepped up to the redhead, letting the spatula fall completely. "Please Ran-chan… Let it go." Ranma-chan stepped paster her and glowered at the sword. Ukyo's tears streaked down her cheeks. "_Please…_" Ranma-chan grpped the sword hilt as the remainer of her opposition watched with horror.

"Old man…" Ranma-chan growled. The sword vibrated with bloodlust in her hands. It was _so_ close. "You had better remember this day. Because if you don't… I'll hunt down _every last one of you_. I'll hunt you across every timeline imaginable until you cease to exist _everywhere_."

She yanked the sword from the ground and Blood Wind moaned with despair. It was being denied! No! Ranma-chan felt this and it caused a little smile to tickle her face. Happosai remained frozen in place, still in shock that he was still alive. Not just alive… given a pardon. She turned her back on the frightened old gnome. "Remember what I said, Old fart. You screw with anybody, I _will_ be back."

The demon blade fell into its sheath with a click and she and Ukyo walked off to rejoin… Her friends.

* * *

**Epilogue**

"Wo Ai Ni!" The purple haired Amazon squeeled at her good fortune. Days ago, Shampoo's situation bordered on hopelessness. She was enaged to marry Ranma Saotome by the kiss of marriage protocols, who was unfortunately already engaged to marry Nabiki Tendo. Normally she would have just removed the female obstacle like she did all obstacles, but the situation was proving… Difficult. Ranma was unwilling and his fiancée was skilled, skilled enough to beat back her advances in their entirety.

But then the gods smiled upon her, depositing yet another Ranma into her life. Better yet, this one was unattatched! The engaged Ranma, Nabiki, Ryoga and Ukyo stared at their adopted brother with sympathy as the Amazon glomped onto arm, applying her entire body to the pigtailed martial artist. But their was an anomaly. He was smiling. It was a mischievous smile.

"Who's the honey, Ran-kun?" Kasumi escorted a guest into the Tendo living room and the group stared. She was 5'7" with curves in all the right places. The tight high cut white skirt and top did nothing to hide them and her neon green hair fell down around her shoulders matching the emerald green eyes set in her flawless facial features. She stepped further into the living room and every movement was perfect and sensual. From her long legs to her round perky breasts, she was absolute perfection.

Nabiki snapped out of her own stupor first. "Um Ranma… Who…?"

The new Ranma grinned. "Friends, I'd like you to meet Morrigan Aesland," He looked at the Amazon hanging of his arm, eyes glittering with amusement. "my fiancee."

Shampoo detatched herself immedietly and dropped into a combat stance. "Ranma only date Shampoo! Obstacle is for killing!" Even as she tensed to charge the new woman, Shampoo's rage began to transform. Morrigan's eyes began to glow and she found she couldn't tear herself away from them! The rage transformed and Shampoo began feeling another emotion. _Uncontrollable lust._ Shampoo couldn't move and Morrigan stepped up and pulled her into a deep, sensual kiss. The groups, save Ranma, would have faceplaneted into the floor if they could have torn themselves away from the torrid scene.

"Um, Ranma-kun…" Nabiki's Ranma croaked with a dry throat. The green haired ethereal beauty finished the kiss, allowing Shampoo to melt bonelessly to the floor.

"Yeah, I kinda forgot to mention she's the Queen of Succubi." He supplied sheepishly as Morrigan stood there with a slightly disappointed air about her.

"Well that didn't last _nearly_ long enough." Moorigan sighed, and took her place at Ranma's side. She turned her attention to the second Ranma. "Hmmm… Now this _does_ have possibilities.

"Grrrr…" Nabiki stepped forward, placing herself between Ranma, Ranma and Morrigan. "Mine!"

"Sorry, Mo-chan. They're off limits."

"What about her?" She sighed and studied the unconscious Amazon who was having some very improper dreams at the moment. Morrigan began to rub up against her fiancée seductively. "Pleeease?" Ranma's smile turned as wicked as his fiancée's and the trio off to the side began to sweat nervously.

"Let's ask her great grandmother first."

**_End.

* * *

_**

**Pocket Change  
Prologue**  
_By Ozzallos_

**Chapter Two**

Main Entry: **hell**  
Pronunciation: 'hel  
Function: _noun_  
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English; akin to Old English _helan _to conceal, Old High German _helan, _Latin _celare, _Greek _kalyptein_  
**1 a **(1) **:** a nether world in which the dead continue to exist **: HADES** (2) **:** the nether realm of the devil and the demons in which the damned suffer everlasting punishment - often used in curses go to _hell_ or as a generalized term of abuse the _hell_ with it **b** _Christian Science_ **: ERROR **2b, SIN  
**2 a** **:** a place or state of misery, torment, or wickedness war is _hell_ - W. T. Sherman **b** **:** a place or state of turmoil or destruction all _hell_ broke loose

* * *

**K**etsueki Kaze wasn't happy. Nobody ever said life as a demon was easy and that fact was doubly so when you screwed up. Kaze screwed up big time. And when you screw up big time, the punishments weren't exactly pleasant in his line of work. Most beings equated punishment with physical pain, but for Kaze, that wasn't the case. His punishment was purely psychological in nature, having been bound to a magical sword for the next millennia or so. It didn't sound bad until the full weight of realization hit him way back when. He had no free will, his powers were slaved to the sword itself and its master; no mobility and no voice. It was quite literally a prison in which the only sustenance came in the form of those the master decided to slay and even then, only a fraction of the victim's life force went towards his sustenance. Truly a small corner of hell in its own right. It had been two-hundred years since his imprisonment and Kaze figured he had another five hundred to go. It wouldn't have been a pleasant term to wait out, but he could manage…

…Until today, that is.

For the last eighty-two years he had been in the possession Demon Vice Lord Len Victus who was currently presiding over the Plane's special torture division. Len Victus had several projects going at the moment, and Kaze shivered at the thought. When you earned Vice Lord Len Victus' special attentions, being trapped in a sword was freakin' Club Med. But something had gone wrong. Very wrong. Kaze couldn't see per se, but he could feel the life forces around him and it came as a shock to watch Victus' life force flare, then vanish. In his experience as a sword, that meant one thing and one thing only… Demon Vice Lord Len Victus, Special Torture's Head Director had just bought it. While nobody would mourn his passing, a feeling of dread settled around Ketsueki Kaze because whatever had taken out Victus was not only nastier, but would undoubtedly take the entrapped demon as his possession as—

A hand curled around Kaze's grip and he knew horror. More horror than just being trapped in a millennia's worth of imprisonment. He tried to resist, but the will of his new owner smashed through him like a wall of fire, carrying with it, spite, righteous vengeance and the need for incandescent justice. He knew who was wielding him now. Even participated in his torture indirectly, and the sword bound demon cringed.

Ketsueki Kaze was now in the hands of Ranma Saotome, former heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, and there was no doubt in the demon's mind… It was payback time.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes:**  
**W**hee! Set the wayback machine for... Crap! Well, not exactly crap, but this is ultimately its final resting place since there are no intentions to continue in any way, shape or form. Hmmm, might do that for other dead fics too. Anyway, this was a continuation of Exact Change, which I had planed to leave well enough alone. I didn't push this particular fic further because it ultimately boiled down to massive OC, angst and completely divorcing the main character from his canon. In other words, sending Ranma to hell. Originals dates on this are somewhere back in 2006? If none of this made sense you probably should have stopped by my profile page and hit up _Exact Change_ first.


	24. And Then Some

**And Then Some**  
_Prologue_

"Oh shit."

Most people would have heard those words and taken offense to the pigtailed boy's coarse language, but then, most people wouldn't know the physics behind those words. Granted, cussing usually wasn't a medium by which you explained Newton's Laws of Motions or Particle Physics, but for Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything goes School of Martial Arts, they were as apt descriptive as any. To understand why, one would have to take into account all the variables, such as the angular momentum created by the high-speed impact of Akane Tendo's mallet. One would also have to take into account the energy imparted by Grand Master Happosai's new cyclotrimethylene trinitramine hexogen bombs. Then came the lust potion courtesy of Shampoo, with more herbs and spices than even Colonel Sanders would care to shake a stick at. Mousses edged weapondry contributed little to the reaction other than to keep the bystandards entertained, while Ryoga Hibiki cut loose with a massive, depression fueled Shi Shi Hadoken.

These events by themselves were nothing the world's premier martial artist hadn't dealt with in the past. Today, however, they combined to form a phenomenon that would have Harvard physicists drooling had they witnessed it first hand. Akane's mallet of jealous rage (no saving throws) smacked into Ranma with a force of sixteen gravities, driving him into Happosai's new and improved munitions, which promptly exploded and vaporized the lust potion Shampoo had thrown in. That's where things would have gotten dicey for the physicists. The potion was bound by magic and its incineration released that magic into the air, where it fed on the power of Ryoga's massive ki assault. With its physical form destroyed, the magic mutated and by the time that Shi shi Hadoken hit Ranma, it was so strong that it tore a hole in reality. When the smoke finally cleared, half the Nerima wrecking crew found nothing but a massive, smoldering crater where the once mighty Saotome once stood.

Shit just happened.

**Chapter One**

A wave of nausea rumbled through Ranma as stars blasted though his vision. He doubled over onto the earth, waiting for some semblance of equilibrium to take hold. Goddamn that crap has got to stop! he fumed internally as his sight slowly began to return. What in the hell was that! Ranma's mental process noticed the lapse and his tactical mindset snapped back into place. He whipped his head up from the ground and began scanning for his attackers… Which had mysteriously vanished. The pigtailed boy stumbled to his feet and wobbled, taking in his surroundings. Man, did he feel weak. The ground around him showed no signs of battle and the courtyard was silent, as if everybody had been spirited away somehow. Ranma took a step and stumbled.

"Oh my." He twisted around less than gracefully to find Kasumi standing behind him and wearing a concerned expression. I let Kasumi sneak up on me? Ranma thought. Jeez, I must really be out of it… The eldest Tendo slid under Ranma's arm even as he teetered on the edge of balance.

"Uuuhg… Thanks Kasumi…" Ranma mumbled. She was surprisingly sturdy, he noted, easily supporting his weight. They began moving toward the house.

"Another run-in with the school bullies, Ranma-kun?" She asked softly and Ranma blinked.

Bullies? Since when have I ever had a problem with bullies? Rivals, gods and fiancées, yes. Bullies? That question would have to wait in deference to the pounding in his head. "Uh, no bullies Kas-chan. Just the usual."

Kasumi looked at her pale charge with doubt. "You really should avoid them, Ranma. This always happens."

Ranma snorted. "Tough to avoid when they're everywhere I go. Here, school, China. Doesn't matter. They'll follow me to the ends of the earth." Damn if only I could find an honorable way out of the fiancée wheel of destruction, he thought.

Kasumi frowned, noting the Ranma's mood. Following him all the way to China? This level of depression wasn't good for the boy. Besides, the problem was really getting out of hand. She could always get Akane to… "Maybe you should take some self defense courses, Ranma."

He surprised her with a laugh as they stepped through the door and into the kitchen. "How 'bout if I learned the Anything Goes school?" his grin was unmistakable and Kasumi marveled at the turnaround in his mood.

Even so, she smiled anyway and propped him against a kitchen counter. "Perhaps you should start with something simpler."

Ranma's smile widened. This was a playful side he hadn't seen much of in Kasumi and he was thoroughly enjoying it. "Did you have something in mind?"

She filled a glass of water for him and continued to force her smile. This is unnerving to say the least, she thought. Maybe he thinks I'm joking? After all, Ranma and martial arts weren't exactly words found in the same company and all their previous attempts… "I think maybe some Tae Kwon Do would be suitable to start out with."

Oh my god, this is great! Ranma thought, then broke out into more laughter. "Bwahahaha! Oh, that's good, Kas-chan…" Ranma gulped the water down greedily and smiled wildly. The way she deadpanned the entire joke…! Priceless! "We've gotta talk like this more often, Kasumi, this is just too… Oooh…" Another wave of disorientation swept over him. "Uhhh… Maybe after I lie down a bit."

With that, he stumbled out of the kitchen, missing the dejected look on Kasumi's face.

* * *

"Well I say we prowl the waterfront tonight." Akane's voice drifted upstairs as Ranma took a single foot out side his room. Whatever it was had taken a lot out of him and even though it was dark now, the hours of rest had done him good. Now he paused. Waterfront?

"Sounds good. Density has been high around there lately." Kasumi commented, furthering Ranma's curiosity.

Nabiki sighed. "That puts us closer to the Sailor strumpet's territory. I don't feel like dealing with magical girls tonight."

"You're a magical girl." Kasumi pointed out. Ranma couldn't miss the humor in her voice even from his upstairs eavesdropping position.

"Well, sure, but fukus?" The middle sister complained. "What self respecting enforcer of justice would be caught dead in a fuku?" Ranma silently agreed on the point, but wondered exactly when Nabiki had become a magical girl.

"Now, now." Kasumi admonished. "The Scouts have helped us out on numerous occasions." Nabiki snorted with light contempt.

"Ok, but who's going to baby-sit Ranma tonight?" Ranma bristled at Akane's words, the only thing holding him in check was the general weirdness of the entire conversation.

"I don't think we have to worry about Ranma-kun tonight." The eldest Tendo replied. "I think the bullies got to him again and he's upstairs sleeping it off."

"He better not be crying like last time." Akane grumbled and Ranma twitched from his concealed position. "I hate crybabies. What if he's awake when we get back?"

"Just feed him the standard excuse." Nabiki answered. "I can't believe he keeps buying them, personally."

"Yeah, Ranma's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed." Akane said agreeably. "I mean honestly. I came home last time covered in sticky black demon blood and tell him it's from my part time job at the molasses factory. Jeez." Ranma's anger went from a roiling boil to light simmer as he latched onto her statement. _That _he definitely had no memory of.

"Well either way, we have an appointment to keep. We leave in fifteen." Kasumi stated and Ranma took that as his cue to sneak back into his room and bed. What the hell was going on here? I eat bullies, not get beaten up by them, Ranma's mind raced furiously. Magical girls? Demons? And they make me sound like the most gullible chump in the book! A dream maybe? No, my dreams always had at least one cat in them and there wasn't one to be found here.

His thoughts were stayed as the soft click of a door being open hit his eardrums. There was a pause of silence before the next click and Ranma knew. He had just been checked on. The suspense was killing him. The martial artist shot out of bed and slid the window open, flipping onto the roof. The Umi Sen Ken technique was initiated even before he hit the shingles, obscuring him from sight and detection. Ranma crouched on the rood and sure enough, the sisters trio appeared five minutes later out in front. The shock of his life came when all three lept into the air and began rooftop hopping away at high speed.

Ranma grumbled a well deserved "What the hell…?" before pursuing the Tendos. Or at least tried to. Roof hopping is as much the maniulation of chi as it is the use of physical strength, and it was at the moment Ranma found out he had the former, just not the latter. "WHAT THE HELL?" he repeated, a hint of panic edging into his sudden and unwelcome observation as narrowly avoid planting himself halfway up and into the first house wall in his path.

* * *

"Your evil deeds have come to an end!" Kasumi declared as she dropped down twenty feet from the monster who looked to be having a bad day. Scratched that, Ranma amended. Bad _life_. Regardless, it couldn't be as bad of a day as the poor saps he had just shredded into various unattached body parts. One part of the redhead paled at the carnage the seven foot tall red skinned beast had caused while the other part duly noted that neither Kasumi or the sisters that covered her flank showed any outward signs of being affected by it.

The monster with horns for eyes and enough fangs to make a shark jealous laughed. The sound was like glass being dragged over a metal surface. "And who are you to stop me?"

"We are the defenders of innocence and justice, the 108th…"

"Ninth!"

"And tenth!"

"…generation of Devil hunters!" Kasumi finished the monologue she had started and all three abruptly erupted into a pink halo of light, their clothes evaporating right before Ranma's eyes. Even though she had been splashed by water on the way over and now wore his girl-type, it did nothing to stem the trickle of blood from her nose caused by gratuitous nudity inherent in their transformation The clothing was quickly replaced by Chinese cheongsam dresses and Ranma shook off the shock, muttering another "what the fuck!"

Kasumi's was a longer red dress, sporting a yin-yang symbol across her breasts while she herself wielded one of the more exotic long swords Ranma had seen in quite a while. Even more telling was that her stance and grip indicated she actually knew how to use it. Nabiki's cheongsam was black and more revealing, ending well above the knee. Her weapon of choice appeared to be two blade-tipped flat batons linked by a long chain. Akane's dress was apparently the sportier version of the two, a combination of a short blue top complimented by tighter knee length spandex shorts. She spun the shaft of her teyari* in one hand, bringing it to bear on their mutual opponent.

Ranma simply shook her head. This was all just nuts. Akane she could rationalize. Not easily, but she had some martial arts experience. Nabiki? _Kasumi!_ What the hell was going on here? Freakin' _Devil Hunters?_

The demon figure in front of the sisters tendo seemed to take it in stride. "Well that's a good thing," he chuckled. "Cuz I brought friends."

Sure enough, he did, Ranma noted as more demon things seemed to melt out of the numorous shadows. Seven, eight, nine… Twelve plus the leader, he counted and the minions began to spread around the girls in a loose semi-circle. If their sudden appearance was surprising, the sister's reaction was even more so, as in the total lack of panic on their part. Kasumi twirled her long sword around like a pro and brought it to bear. Nabiki flowed suit while Akane pointed the tryari downrange menacingly.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes**- What darkness lurks in the heart of men? Crap. That's right: A hart of crap and this crap is old. Seriously old. I probably posted it somewhere at some point, but it's pretty derivative... You know, Ranma blasted into parallel universe, proceeds to remake self etc etc? I didn't say you had to like it, and you're here voluntarily. See how much a masochist you are?


	25. A Time Apart naruto

**A Time Apart**

_By dawns light  
A death,  
and silence.  
The act begins._

Sarutobi stared out over the balcony and on to the winding streets below, alive and bustling with activity. This was his home, Konoha, Village of the Leaf. The Third Hokage took a long drag from his pipe and exhaled, allowing the rich smoke to be taken away by the light breeze. Not twenty years ago, the view below been very different. That view had been one of war. Strife. Destruction. Visions flickered through the elder's mind as the war with the Stone was recounted in his memories. It had been a struggle, but his home had survived. Regrown. Prospered, much like the leaves of its name sake.

The pipe came to his lips once more as he sighted the western village gate. A wider road bore from it, one that cut through several of the less orderly streets and into the heart of town. Beyond the gates, a rugged tree line and… Sarutobi blinked as the flashes of memory came unbidden.

Beyond that had been the Nine Tails. Konoha had been lucky that day. They had known the demon fox was coming. Even so, the Kitsune had managed to smash through their outer guard and lay waste to a third of the village before finally being halted within the Obyaa district. There, Konoha made its stand and defeated the monster.

The old man let loose the breath that he had been reflexively holding, and smoke drifted on the breeze once more.

Konoha had survived that, too. Regrown. But that event had only been just over a decade ago and the village- his home –was still recovering. Sarutobi's aged eyes began to pick out colorful banners lining the streets and building, a staccato of celebration that cumulated around Horiuchi stadium. Most would see the Chunin Exams as a sign of that growth. Konoha was not only hosting the exams this year, but was fielding some of the brightest genjin since the nine-tails incident. Indeed, the Third would be inclined to agree with those optimist, save one crucial detail…

…He was going to die.

There were those who sought to discern events beyond their kin; to perceive the currents of time before its actual passage. Both moral and immoral, those dedicated to such pursuits often employed a variety of methods by which to fathom the unfathomable, methods involving massive amounts of wealth, magic, scrolls and occasionally blood sacrifice. At best, these archaic techniques gave their users the briefest glimpse of a vague possibility, that which may or may not come to pass. At worst, the blood spilt to invoke these arcane rituals would not only taint their soul, but lead them falsely down fate's darkened path.

Sarutobi was not one of these people. Even in this dangerous hour, the Third Hokage of Konoha was not prone to divine his fate by such means. Nor was it was not for lack of ability or power that the village elder failed to consult the muse of temporal possibility in order to further clarify the final outcome of the exams themselves.

He took one last look at the atmosphere of celebration that enveloped his home and nodded, removing the pipe from his mouth before turning back to his office. Like himself, the office had seen the roll of years and after thirteen of those years, had collected enough scrolls, trinkets and items to make even the most spacious of rooms seem cluttered. The centerpiece, somehow clear of such disarray, was a small round table and a crystal ball. It was a powerful artifact in its own right, but bore no such ability to foretell the future as one might think. Instead of trying to coax an unfathomable possibility from it, the Hokage bypassed the sphere in favor of a mannequin and the gray plate of armor it bore. He shrugged off the white and red cloak he wore as a symbol of his position and fingered the smooth steel shoulder pieces. The plating itself was well over fifty years old and probably belonged on somebody a few generations younger, but it was his, the only armor he'd worn during his dual tenure as Hokage.

It was time to don it once more.

A grim smile surfaced, spreading across his wrinkled features. there was no need to guess at the shadows of the future, for he already knew it's outcome as assuredly as he knew that today's Chunin exam was little more than subterfuge in order to bring Konoha to its knees. The Hokage sighed and hefted the armor off its mount, strapping the cold plate of bracer to the black jumpsuit along his left arm. Not that it mattered.

Sarutobi pulled the bracer tight and began to position its opposite. In fact, that particular event was only hours away. The news of his death bothered him little, in reality. He knew he had been living on borough time since the nine-tails. no, it was the village that concerned him. His home. There was little he could do to prevent the invasion without damaging that which was to come, but he not let them overtake his birthplace like thieves in the night either. Select members of the ANBU had been informed. Kakashi and Gai would be on guard. But that was the best he could do… The most he could do without turning all of their existence into a wild unknown. The Third let the sleek armored headpiece rest upon his head and the neck plating fell into place, hiding both it and the armor with his white robe and hat.

Yes, today death would visit him today. Exactly how and when it would do so was a vague unknown, but it would not catch him unaware.

He would be _ready_.

* * *

**Crapspace Notes:** _You could really wedge this crappaliscious intro into a number of fics, but this one had to do with timetravel. If I recall the build correctly, Naruto manages to blast hiumself int the past and become the 4th himself. For that to not be totally squicky in nature, Naruto would have to not be born from the forth and Kushina. This was well prior to the 400+ chapters that now exists and Naruto the 4th would pop out of his coffin (from some sort of stasis) during the Invasion arc and pwn snake boy before Sarutobi buys it. It could have worked, but I have better things to do. Like edit chapter 9b of Hell is a Martial Artist._

_You'll undoubtedly notice the similarity in titles between this and an active fic... Yes, I said active. I recycle the titles of stories don't make the cut A LOT.  
_


	26. Weapon of Choice

_When did I become one of the monsters? Tough call, honestly. I mean, it's not like my life has ever been what you would call normal. In fact, normal for me almost exclusively consists of the paranormal to one degree or another, so I guess it was inevitable that I would start seeing 'em as more regular than regular people. You're lookin' at me funny, but really; some of my best friends could get smacked by that sub-compact you drove here and not even feel it._

_Not sure, but Jusenkyo was the catalyst, I think. Fifteen years of relatively normal life, then- bam -the curse. After that, it was like the crazies started to crawl out of the woodwork. Didn't matter where me and the old man went, it all followed us… So much so it became the norm. Maybe it was the whole 'touched by magic' thing. Hell, could be that I was just about on par with the freaks I was fighting at the time… It wasn't like I wasn't a super powered martial artist myself anyway, right?_

_Of course, the curse didn't help either. The people around Nerima? Yeah, they were kinda used to it. Beyond that, ya get the oddest looks; like I was some magical kitsune or something. Being able to vanish at will and burn chi into the visible spectrum probably didn't help that either, but that's their problem, not mine. The monsters on the other hand… they'd look at me curiously then go about their business. Kinda refreshing, actually; that is if their business wasn't getting' their asses handed to them by yours truly. So yeah, I kicked some ass, took some names and some of those names even got to be friends._

_In the end, I'm thinkin' I'm a victim of my own art when it comes to that. Could blame the Panda for it, but for every finger I point at him, I'd have half a dozen pointing back at me. Besides, I love the Art, and they say you are what you eat, right? Well, I've got this theory… All my opponents? They ain't normal. Maybe back when I was a kid, sure; but these days?_

_So yeah, maybe. Maybe I am._

-Ranma Saotome

**Weapon of Choice**  
**Chapter ONE**

**August 3rd, 2006 - 33'58 North, 88'55 East; 13:40 Local.**

"Master Saotome... Wha-What is that thing?"

The thing in question hissed, a raspy, deadly sound that filled the entire subterranean complex, though the hissing alone wasn't why the thin, tanned man was gibbering and his redheaded female companion were pressed up against an ancient stone wall. The fact that what was causing the hissing was nearly twenty meters high and looked like snake. With arms. And a mean temper. Nor did it help that they had all but stumbled into it's lair and now it was looking to make meal of them. Ranma Saotome took a peek out from the corner they had taken refuge behind and frowned, noting that the gigantic snake-thing had managed to procure swords for four of it's six scaly arms. The swords themselves were ten meter jagged blades of cast iron, borrowed from the monuments around it. As of yet, the gargantuan snake had yet to find them, but that couldn't last.

"Phone," The girl ordered and her compatriot hastened to produce the small rectangle. She snapped it up and hit dialed up a number. A secretary came on the line and she interrupted her polite greeting. "It's Saotome. Get Uzumaki on the line."

The line clicked as the assistant obediently transferred the call, and she could almost hear the smile in the next speaker's voice. "Ranma! I thought you fell off the face of the-"

"Found it," She stated simply and the line went dead quiet.

"Konoha?"

The single word was spoken with hushed reverence and it made Ranma smile. "What's left of it. Buried in the side of a goddamn mountain here in Tibet."

The receiver held its silence for a moment, as if the person were considering the development. "How much of it is intact?"

"Enough," The redhead advised, glancing back around the corner. "Big tower in the center, exactly as you described it..."

"That's great!"

"...and a giant, six armed snake-thing that ain't too happy with us right now."

"Oh..." The pair hunkering down behind the wall could almost hear the person blinking on the other end. "Is he still there?"

"Uzumaki," Ranma's cheek twitched as her voiced descended toward the range of liquid helium temperatures. "When I get back, I'm going to kick your ass."

The line crackled a bit as nervous laughter issued through the speaker. Ranma set the still active phone on a nearby block of dislodged stone and commenced to draw a massive handgun from her back slung holster like a short sword. The flat silver steal barrel was 419mm in length, etched with the calligraphy "Invictus" and housing a massive fifty caliber bore. The redhead clicked the weapon's large, five chamber cylinder open, inspected the Smith and Wesson Magnum rounds already in play and gave it a spin, jerking her wrist sideways. The chamber locked close with a sharp snap.

"Ranma?" The disembodied voice wondered through the open line. "Ranma? Gustov, what is Ranma doing?"

"Master Saotome has drawn a rather large gun, Mister Uzumaki," The redhead's assistant detailed watching as the girl thumbed the safety off what was effectively a hand artillery piece.

"This thing thing have a name, 'Ruto-kun?" She asked, looking back out around the corner as the monster slithered through the streets, closing on their position.

"Orochigami," the youthful voice replied with a note of concern. "Ranma, It's enough you found the place... A gun won't kill it. Wait for me and-"

Ranma Saotome gave the gun a final flip and stepped out from cover and immediately into the Snake's sight. It reared back with an imposing hiss and the girl smirked with all the confidence in the world. "Kill it? Nah, this is just foreplay."

The snake beast caught sight of something red out of the corner of its slitted eye and whipped around, focusing on the girl stepping out from behind the ruined wall. It loosed a ferocious hiss at the interloper to its domain and surged forth, winding its body around to propel its advance while bringing the four giant swords up to strike.

The redhead regarded it with bored expression, taking her armed stance in what was once a ruined street lost to overgrowth and lazily sighted the large bore handgun on the towering snake-creatures head as it closed on her position. The slightest edge of a smirk found it's way to her lips and her finger twitched.

CRaCK!

The gun didn't even twitch and the hard cast fifty caliber round found its mark immediately, imparting its velocity and mass directly into Orochigami's skull, causing it lurch with a squeal, but failing to penetrate its scales fully enough to halt its slithering rush. The massive snake closed to twenty meters and Ranma chose a new target and pulled the trigger a second time.

CRaCK!

A smallish fireball flashed into existence again, instantly accompanied by another hissing squeal of pain. This time the shell penetrated the soft underbelly scales, causing a modest hole and a black burble of fluid to spill forth, but definitely no slowing the beast down. Fifteen more meters evaporated and the redhead took her last aimed shot at nearly point blank range as the first of four swords sliced in. there was no time to gauge its effectiveness and stepped up and onto the cast iron scimitar that carved into the ancient cobblestone, ducked under the second blade and profiled out of the stab of the third. Her new position along Orochigami's right flank denied the fourth blade an angle to strike, but that didn't prevent the snake from trying to crush its victim outright as it passed. The coils slid in to maul the diminutive redhead but the girl simply rolled over the top of its scaled back along her own, taking the last of her two shots at it's back once she had regained her footing. Both rounds mushroomed ineffectually off the plate, though she quickly had other concerns. The lethally sharp tip of its tail was the very last thing to pass, and Ranma flipped easily out of its slashing arcs, landing in a crouch ten meters away while pulling a speed loader from her belt.

Hard as hell on the head, soft underbelly and damn near impenetrable along the back, she noted, releasing the pistol's cylinder with a quick jerk and feeding the next five rounds into them simultaneously. The snake itself paused, looking for the smear of its victim across the earth and it any remains to make a meal of. Ranma yanked the cylinder back closed with a loud clack and Orochigami whirled around, suddenly realizing its victim was alive and well.

Another gravelly hiss set forth in challenge and the woman simply rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Now get your ass over here and lets dance."

The summon practically dove at Ranma, sliding through the ruins like a scaly guided missile. The moment it lurched forward, five shots cracked away from the red head's weapon like machine gun fire, biting at the upper left most blade in a shower of sparks and rending five meters off its length.

The cylinder was back open and five more fat rounds were in place by the time Orochigami had discard the stub of the wounded scimitar and sent a cousin hurling towards her like a scythe, followed by blade number three. The gun was back up and five more rounds exited the barrel in a flash of rapid fire. The first airborn scimtar jumped with ablated sparks then snapped violently in half to send both pieces fly to either side of Ranma. One half slammed into a the remains of an ancient foundation while the other parted left, burying its leading edge into the road, tumbling past her in a shower of debris. Scimitar three was right behind it and she opted to simply side step the intact iron buzz-saw while emptying her weapon and queuing up the next five rounds. Her clothes rustled with the proximity of the steel whirlwind, but she payed it little mind as it smashed into more ruins somewhere behind her.

By the time the chamber snapped shut for the third time, the massive snake was upon her, first cleaving the air with its remaining scimitar before lunging in, mouth wide and fangs glistening with venom. Ranma ducked under the edge of the blade then sidestepped Orochigami's lethal fangs with graceful precision, allowing her unobstructed access to the left side of the creature's face. The gun came up and fired in discrete intervals as its jaw passed less than two meters from her person.

A fang shattered like porcelain. The roof of it's mouth exploded in blood. A large hole opened up, passing through the soft tissue of its jawline. One round was wasted on the scale armor, but the last, final bullet flashed fire against the snakes eye. Protective skin flicked up to guard the slitted eyeball, but the translucent material was far too thin and the Ranma's weapon far too close to provide any barrier whatsoever to the 500 grams of lead.

"AHHHHHEEEiiiiiiEEEHHHHHH!"

An excruciating scream ripped through the air as the organ exploded like a grape. Where the bullet traveled from there was anybodies guess, and the martial artist opted to roll out and away from the wild thrashing that had suddenly consumed her giant adversary rather than find out. Orochigami rolled and twisted in agony, tumbling into several of the site's decayed structures and destroying them like a scaled steamroller as two of its four arms clawed at the wound. Ranma recovered from her own evasion and backed off to a safe distance to watch while writhing coils blindly destroyed everything around them in a cloud of dust and debris. She clicked the chamber of her custom handgun back open pointed the barrel up, allowing gravity to empty the five spent casings for her. Each hit the ground with a slight tink and this time the redhead replaced them one by one as she watched the serpent disappear in the roiling cloud of noise and dust.

The screaming continued and Ranma turned back to where her assistant was still hiding. "Uzumaki still on, Gustov?"

The tanned man poked his head out from around the corner, then disappeared, retrieving the flip phone as the redhead walked over. The phone was already squawking with sound as the man handed the device off. "Ranma! Ranma is everything-"

"Yes, and yes," She cut Naruto off. "Scrolls are in the tower, right?"

"Definitely," The voice reaffirmed, somewhat relieved with the answer. "Is that screaming I hear?"

"Your snake's busy," Ranma returned, glancing back over her shoulder to ensure the creature was indeed occupied. "Anything I should know going into the vault?"

"Traps," The voice replied with certainty. "Seals, ninjutsu, kinjutsu, tags... The whole nine yards. Not even Sasuke could have disarmed everything. Listen, Ranma, I can be on site in less then an hour. We can-"

"Place is buried in the side of mountain, Uzumaki," The redhead shook her head. "The dig goin' in has already destabilized the place and taking out the snake ain't gonna help; let alone disarming the traps. This is a smash and grab operation now."

Silence pervaded the line for another minute before Naruto spoke again. "You're sure?"

"You're paying me enough to where I had better be," She answered decisively. "I know what to look for. Let me... Hold on."

Her voice trailed off and she cocked her head as if listening to something. It wasn't anything that she should have been hearing, but rather the absence of it... And a subtle trembling of the earth. "Ranma?"

The redhead ignored the phone and turned back to her assistant. "Haul ass back to the tunnel. Get everybody off the mountain, got it?"

The man nodded sharply. "I'll have the helo standing by master Saotome."

Ranma gave the man one last nod and he was on his way. She watched him duck into the foliage and turned back to the now silent cloud of dust, giving the long gun a flip before returning it to the back-slung holster. Even as the dust finally began to settle around the snake, a winding shadow was pulling itself up. The snake's head rose clear of the dust, a single slitted eye gleaming while the other was little more than a crater of buckled scales, oozing black fluid. Ranma walked lazily down the street and the snakes beak tracked her every movement before hissing another challenge.

Ranma stopped at the twenty meter mark along the streets edge, watching warily as the snake poured from the site of its scuffle while giving its remaining scimitar a showy twirl. She stopped and brought the phone back up. "Snake's tellin' me i should save my minutes. Gotta go."

"Ranma, wait! There's-"

Click.

She snapped the device closed and pocketed it, turning her attention to her adversary whose tail was lashing across the overgrown roadway with anticipation. Ranma took her position and waited patiently with a deceptively open stance as the giant snake slithered into position, scraping the blade across decayed cobblestone. Ranma snorted with amusement and reached back, pulling one of the snake's discarded blades from its embedded position along the road, wielding the the massive piece of steel in spite of it's size and mass. The point of the scimitar cleared the earth and she twirled it around like a pole-arm, bringing the long blade to bear overhead.

"Don't got all day, y'know?"

A screaming hiss met her challenge and the snake surged forward, tossing the blade from its upper right hand to the middle left, already building the momentum for an overpowering cleave. The Saotome likewise charged and the two met in the street's center, screaming steel and bleeding sparks as the pair of swords bit into one another with equal force. Despite the power the girl was able to exert on the blade, physics favored the snake and the mass it was exerting force the girl to slide back a full five meters. Ranma whipped the blade around like it was a staff, resetting her guard to meet the snakes brutal follow-on strike.

More sparks streaked away from the blades and Ranma parried right, forcing her aggressor's blade off target to take a swipe at the bottom left most arm. Orochigami snatched his arm back just in time to keep from having it forcibly removed at the elbow and countered, sweeping right and using the remainder of its body like bull whip to crush the hapless girl beneath its underbelly. Ranma's blade suddenly stabbed at the earth and she used the failed attack's inertia, using her own blade to pole vault over the roll of scales, pulling the blade with her and pivoting mid air to slice at the snake's midsection.

"RAAAAIIIGHHHHH!"

Steel met scale and with the forces Ranma was capable of applying, parted exposed underbelly for a good meter before running aground amid the harder dorsal armoring. The blade was clear and Ranma rolled with the landing, righting herself just in time to meet the serpent's response directly. Blood poured from the wound but Orochigami was entirely focused on killing the insect that continued to annoy him, beating at her overhead guard with a series of heavy handed strikes that all but bathed the girl in brilliant sparks and notched the ancient blade with each impact. The pigtailed girl took advantage of the forth such strike, dipping her scimitar's blade down left and allowing the Summon's own to slide off into the ground. Ranma stepped out from under his blade, and pulled her blade out of the parried entanglement sweeping the blade deep across the monster's torso. Another scream vibrated the air and his blade was back catching her own weapon out of position and wrenching it from her grasp.

The scimitar flew skyward out of reach and another arm reached in, clawing at the his victim wildly. She dodged with a sidestep, only to meet another claw that racked its dagger like talons down Ranma's back, who in turn seemed to buckle in her own agony before-

Sploosh!

Orochigami's single good eye widened as his prey exploded like a water balloon, soaking his claw and the ground around him with cold water, not the warm blood of fresh slaughter. Even as his head whipped from left to right in search of his victim, he failed to notice the redhead falling from height, grabbing the blade he had only recently deflect skyward with a flip to ride it's newly acquired momentum down into the unguarded length of his back. The snake's dorsal scaling was perhaps the toughest part of his armor, but not even they could withstand nearly a ton's worth of steel with all its potential concentrated into the leading edge of its point. Ranma Saotome gave the blade one last push as she flipped off and away, thrusting the scimitar home with a sickening crunch of crushed scales and decimated vertebrae.

The weapon wasn't nearly large enough to cut the monstrous beast in half but it was imparted into its body with enough force to completely penetrate the muscle and bone all the way into the ground itself, anchoring the wildly thrashing beast to the earth; bathing it in such excruciating pain that it failed to notice Ranma land directly before it in a crouch.

Her arms were already folded to her chest in the form of an 'X'.

Null atmosphere vacuum blades ripped out from the girl as she released the technique eviscerating the air before her and breached Orochigami's soft underbelly. A wide, paper thin 'x' formed along with the already present sword wound and the creature renewed its shrieking, the new wound suddenly spraying viscous black blood into the air. Even with the devastation wrought on the snake now, the Saotome still wasn't done; her hands flashing through a series of symbols as she watched the serpent thrash in mindless pain. She came to the final seal and released the technique's chakra into open air where it found its level. The lush greenery that had reclaimed the ancient ruins around Ranma suddenly began to wilt and brown as it gave up its moisture into the open air, coalescing into a fog that streamed around her like a miniature dragon. Another formed and much as she would have liked a third, there simply wasn't enough ambient moisture to be had, and she raised her hand, allowing the vaporous dragons to swirl around her and spiraled off into the sky they condensed into actual water forms.

Orochigami was just beginning to regain its senses when she pointed directly at him. "Ice Dragon Lance."

The dragons took notice for the redhead's whisper and immediately changed course, streaking down into her target like guided serpentine missiles, hardening into wicked ice lances just before impact. One lance took the snake directly in the throat, penetrating completely through and out its back. The other found His open mouth punching up through the demon's skull and out the back once more. Both lances held their gleaming faceted form before melting to water; quickly followed by another spray of blood. This time, the beast's twitching stopped and it rocked upright for a full fifteen seconds before simply falling to the beaten street with a crash that rocked the immediate area.

Ranma stood by for another precious moment before the earth beneath her feet trembled once more. This time the plants that had consumed the bones of Konoha quivered with the tremor and Ranma broke from the snake's corpse, walking at a brisk clip down the street and up to the partially decayed tower. The quakes had subsided, but she knew her time was short and stepped up to the ancient structures entrance. A pair of massive double doors had once stood as reddish yellow building's entrance, but one had already seen its share of time and action, standing little more than buckled planks and splintering. The other hung to life on a single iron work hinge, hanging precariously on the rusted support. The redhead contemplated the entrance and her course of action in the limited time available as the earth trembled once more. This time, several pieces of the massive cavern encapsulating the ruins of Konoha flaked away from the stone geology of the ceiling , falling away in the form of multi ton debris that crushed entire square blocks across the village's remains.

The towering clouds of dust they spawned decided Ranma's course of action immediately and continued her entrance through the bucked tower door until a new sound ripped through the air; Not the destruction of ancient foundations, but a shrieking hiss that vibrated the very air around her. The martial artist paused and hung her head tiredly.

"You gotta be kidding me."

She turned and sure enough the corpse of the snake was twitching; not in a manner to regain it's balance but... Pulsating in a vaguely disturbing manner. The creature's skin began to lose color and scaling began to peel back, blistering and cracking as the internal writhing continued to intensify. Ranma watched from the doorway with a bored expression, folding her arms as a long seam developed across the dead snakes' length then suddenly burst, gushing black fluid that splattered across the the ground and surrounding ruins. The corpse ceased movement for a full minute, then trembled as something began to extricate itself from the shell of blood and scale. The redhead arched an eyebrow as a new serpent arose from the husk, dripping black blood and completely healed of any previous damage. The yellow and black snake flexed it's coils and turned two glowing red eyes on her.

This particular demon was not as thick or long as its previous incarnation, but it still eclipsed its prey by several magnitudes, prompting said prey to remove the hand gun from its holster and sight the emerging snake. The new Orochigami removed itself from the grave of its previous body and shrieked another hiss, causing Ranma to pulled slowly back on the Invictus' trigger. The cylinder rotated clockwise once and the hammer of the revolver pulled back until it reached it's break. The hammer's curvature snapped back into the weapon to strike the now perfectly aligned fifty caliber round.

Air exploded.

Ranma's arm didn't so much as twitch as the bullet exited the cloud of fire, but the force shifted her entire back across the ground nearly three centimeters as the kinetic energy transferred through her unyielding frame. The massive round crossed fifty meters of distance in less than a second, burying itself in the snake's beak and causing enough recoil to appear as if the creature had been slapped by an invisible hand. The snake shook the impact off and charged, gliding in at much higher rate of acceleration than it had displayed in its previous form. Ranma manged another shot before the beast was upon her crashing through the doorway to devour the small woman within its gaping mouth. She didn't move and held the gun steady even as the massive snake made its final lunge. Ranma began to pull the trigger just as the snake's fangs crushed her.

Forty meters beyond the entrance, Ranma Saotome watched with a smile from a high tree branch as the snakes momentum carried it fully into the structure. Another frustrated hiss cut through the air, only to be interrupted by a jarring crescendo of thunder. Fire tore away from the various openings of the battered tower, quickly followed by more flashes of light that spoke of an almost electrical nature. More screaming caused Ranma to wince and this time a billowing green cloud replaced the fire, then a mass of air cooled to the point of condensation. A staccato of thumps reverberated across the cavern, causing more chunks of stone to fall away from the ceiling to crush another portion of Konoha's ruins. The tower quieted for a full minute and the woman shrugged, hopping off her tree branch to hit the ground when a massive shock wave seized the air. Ranma dropped into a crouch as the entire top of the tower suddenly lit with a violent explosion, followed by several lesser reports of some sort of explosives cooking off. The tower finally took its structural limit of damage and the martial artist watched as the entire left side caved in, prompting her to wince once more.

She was inside the ruined tower less than a minute later herself, marveling at the level of destruction inflicted within yet still having manged to remain intact while another clone- this one a pigtailed boy in blue silks -dutifully took point, probing through path of devastation pioneered by the snake itself; having set off every trap, tag, seal and kinjutsu between himself and the vault. Even so, both Ranmas traced through the corridor of destruction carefully until they happened upon a the corpse that could only vaguely have been described as snake like... That is to say if the smoldering remains of mauled bone, flesh and scale could have been aptly described as snake like. Both Ranma's admired the decimated corpse for a brief moment before the original motioned to the buckled, half collapsed entrance into the vault.

"Door."

Her clone nodded, and the black haired boy took the remaining steps carefully. Even though the door was by all rights already breached, that didn't mean there wasn't some last surprise to-

Shk-shk-shk-SheeEEK!

Both walls the ceiling and the floor suddenly disgorged layer upon layer of iron pikes, perforating the clone in every direction and with enough depth that there was no possibility of escape. The male clone took the stabbing from twenty three points simultaneously and promptly exploded in a minor geyser of water. The curtain of steel held its position for another moment, then released, gliding seamlessly back into the surfaces from which they came. Once gone, there was no visible sign of the trap, so the remaining Ranma clasped her hands together and pressurized her chakra. "Kai!"

The hallway wavered with the slightest distortion with the release and when it had passed, hundreds of exit ports were revealed to line the hallway for a full five meters up to the door itself. The woman studied the five meter zone of death and pulled a single black throwing knife from her belt; a small ticket of paper attached to the handle. She moved off to the nearest bend in the corridor and tossed the blade in, the tag igniting as it left her hand. It twirled through a lazy arc and embedded itself into the ground between the exit ports. Steel hissed again and this time pike perforated empty space. The ticket burned down to the chakra inscribed symbol painted across its face and Ranma stepped around the corner to hug the wall.

BOOM!

Smoke and fiery debris shot past the girl and she counted to ten before stepping back into the hall, noting the now blackened doorway and the burnt, splintered stubs of the ruined pike trap. She stepped lightly past the smoking remains of the trap and through the now nonexistent vault door with a wide smile. Most treasure hunters would have been undoubtedly disappointed by the drab room, which held neither gold or gems. There were no priceless statues, nor was there a weapons cache of any sort. Instead, the redheaded woman's smile was directed at the scrolls. Wall to wall rolled parchment of jutsus and other martial arts related material handed down from generation to generation by masters long since passed from the living.

Relevant to my interests, Ranma nodded agreeably to herself, her eyes scanning the shelving for specific material. And my client, of course, she added as she unfolded a pack from ki folding and began picking scrolls off with single minded purpose. Much as she would have liked to pull every single last one from the shelves, she was on the clock and that clock had been ticking the moment they broke through into the subterranean cavern and compromised its stability. Her tussle with the snake had likewise shaken the geology up further, not to mention the giant fireball that been sent up into the very roof of the cavern. She continued to wander the enormous room, occasionally picking out scrolls emblazoned by the red wax seal stamped with the symbol "Fire" on it, plucking it from its shelving to be tossed into the bag.

Ranma had progressed nearly halfway along the first wall wen a sizable tremor shifted the building's foundation, dislodging the dust that had settled in the last several millennium. The redhead frowned and began to move with less discrimination, plucking at anything that caught her expert eye while moving through the archive as quickly as she could. S-class, S-class, kinjutsu, S-class, Ranma mentally cataloged as she efficiently continued to pull scrolls while another part of her intellect balked at the thought of leaving their brethren behind. It whined and complained that so much knowledge was about to vanish from the face of the Earth, but Ranma paid it little mind, but paused as her blue eyes caught an oddly marked chest. Not that it was the only chest in the room, nor was it the only one that brandished the symbol of Fire Country. What was unusual was the script surrounding the symbol.

Middle Earth shit, Ranma decided as her fingers traced the worn and faded symbols. She pulled a glow stick from her belt to augment the central vent of light feeding into the room. Neon yellow gave the characters more depth. Post fall... but not by much, She decided and set to the task of translation. Third something shadow... the rest...?

The world suddenly lurched violently, doing its level best to knock the girl to the ground. Had she been a normal woman, the violent thoughts of geology in upheaval might have succeeded, but the martial artist took it in stride, opting to abandon the translation and instead rip the cover of wooden plank cover from the chest outright. The hinges protested the effort but parted easily when pitted against Ranma's strength, and her eyes fell upon a crystal orb, slightly smaller than her head encased in padded purple silk. Her reflection blinked back at her, but she grabbed it regardless of the fact that she couldn't positively identify the artifact and let it drop into the bag with the scrolls.

Coming with me, she decided, turning back to the wall as the aftershocks continued to rock the ruins. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go... The mantra repeated itself within her psyche as she began to pull scrolls from their shelves with little regard for content, paying them the briefest cursory glance before deciding whether they would be spared or left behind. Her hands blurred as she continued along the back wall, stuffing the backpack until suddenly the central light illuminating the vault began to dim to the point where her glow stick was the main source of light. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening and when she did, couldn't help but to curse.

"Ah crap," She snarled, sprinting for the vault's entrance, hoisting the backpack up behind her even as the vent's light went completely black. Ranma poured her considerable speed into the sprint and lurched through the door just as the vault itself suddenly ceased to exist. A massive chunk of rock tore through the ceiling and abruptly occupied a third of the space, obliterating one whole wall of the scrolls and filling the entire room with debris. It's cousin smashed through the roof a moment later terminally compromising the tower's stability. Ranma was out into open air by the time the third piece of the cavern roof slammed home, annihilating the southern side of the tower and causing the remains to cave in upon itself.

...Nor was the tower the only thing caving in.

A quick glance at the cavern's ceiling revealed massive rays of sunlight, and with the apex of the cavern destroyed, more began to crumble away with ever increasing tonnage. Nice knowin' ya Konoha, Ranma thought sadly and returned to her sprint, weaving her way through the ruins even as glacial shards fell on the city around her. The ground rocked with the impacts, inciting more instability. Entire square blocks were abruptly flattened by the failing cavern roof, disappearing in pillars of ice and stone. A jagged blade of rock several hundred times her mass impaled the earth before her, but she was up, running horizontally along its surface and flipping over it before it had a chance to fall off balance and flatten the street she had just been running. Ranma hit the earth with light feet and continued her dash as streamers of intense sunlight warred with the mounting clouds of dust.

Ranma was now on the outskirts of the village moving into the harder terrain of rock and overgrowth, hopping over the natural rock outcroppings while dodging the occasional meteoric piece of cavern ceiling that sought to turn her to a fine paste. A quick glance at back into the ruins revealed the utter devastation of the collapse. Little was left of the village now and what wasn't yet buried under tons and tons of stone was about to be. Another shadow engulfed her and she rolled wildly to the right. The ground was stabbed once more by an enormous spire of stone and she slid around it, catching sight of the access tunnel they had originally gained entry into the cavern with. the stone she had just dodged teetered perilously and finally tipped as another impact stole its balance...

...tipping toward her and her exit.

Ranma's eyes widened and she poured on her fullest measure of speed, leaping from rock to rock in order to beat either being flattened or cut of from her exit. The massive boulder's shadow continued to lengthen around her and with her exit still fifty meters away, Ranma knew she wasn't going to make it. Instead of continuing her run she slid to a halt and faced the monolithic rock bearing down upon her. Its fall gained speed, but the girl waited until the last possible moment to thrust a single index finger into the hundred ton boulder as it was about to crush her outright.

"Bakusai Tenketsu!"

**Author's Notes:** This fic is somewhat of an experiment on my part since it won't be told in chronological order. You undoubtedly have questions concerning... Well, darn near everything. I, of course, have answers. Being an experiment, the answers are not necessarily in the order you would expect them to be in, so I ask your patience concerning them. As such, the ANs will probably be a tad vaguer than usual.

**Invictus** - Ranma's heavily modified Taurus Raging Bull 500, stripped and rebuilt to handle 75k chamber pressures. The rounds are large enough in diameter to where the cylinder will only accommodate five at a time. Normally a weapon of this caliber would be ineffective in the hands of a normal shooter, except for the fact that this particular shooter can lift multi-ton boulders and absorb incredible amounts of physical punishment. As such, weight and recoil are not significant factors in its use.

**With Lethal Intent**  
**Chapter TWO**

_A few years as a kunoichi will make anybody jaded, and i guess I was no exception... Especially in my profession. At some point, you just stop believing in the white samurai that will wisk you off your feet and take you away. That's the dream of every girl, isn't it? It was a bit of disgusting irony that Forehead Girl got hers. Not only did she get the shining samurai, but she got the whole package. After becoming Tsunade's heir and getting left behind in her shadow, marrying the man of our dreams to become first lady to the Hokage was just icing on my glass cake of broken dreams._

_It's not like she meant to rub it in my face. Well, at first she did. But it's hard... Really hard to watch The Dream flaunted before your very eyes; so close that you could literally touch it, but completely out of reach. I had to get some space after that, which is probably why I quit medicine and took Ibiki up on his offer. I know people and psychology well enough to realize that I was probably acting on some sub conscious desire to take my pain out on others, but I couldn't help it._

_And damn, was I good at my job._

_But that was a given. I was a Yamanaka, of course. So I used my work to get away from the reality that Sakura-chan got everything that I had ever wanted. As long as I had my job, we could be friends. As long as I could vent my frustrations elsewhere, we could be friends. As long as I had some poor sap that had manged to fuck up so badly as to land himself in a 10x10 cell for me to break mentally and physically..._

_...Okay, so 'fine' wasn't exactly a word I could apply to my life._

-Ino Yamanaka

Unfinished section

* * *

**Land's End**  
**Chapter FIVE**

"Goddamn son of a bitch!"

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts cracked a sweet smile at the man's fuming as he pulled his limp arm from the table, glaring hot death into the girl that had rendered it impotent in the first place. Ranma's patronizing grin increased fractionally as dainty hands pulled his cash from his side of the table to hers, adding to her already sizable stack of pastel Baht. She counted her newly acquired currency briefly, then lounged back in her chair, favoring the crowd that was either groaning or cheering around her as money was traded between winning and losing parties.

"Okay, last one for tonight," She commented, glancing around through the bar's carcinogenic atmosphere. It was a dive that put dives to shame, but there was one thing she was empathizing with one Nabiki Tendo on, some two thousand miles north of her current position on the ass end of civilization... There was a sucker born every minute and, much as she had once cursed the very body she now permanently called home, it was exceptionally suited for this sort of money making. Groans accompanied the comment, but she paid them no mind, pushing out from the rickety table that had obviously seen one too many bar fights for its own good. The knife marks and occasional burn here and there served as a reminder that she wouldn't be overstaying her welcome. Another lesson from the old man, she sniffed, idly musing on just how handy some of the unintentional lessons that had been forced upon her over the years were actually coming in handy now. Time to head on out before they all start feelin' bad about gettin' whooped by some cute little redhead, anyway.

"Hey bitch. My turn."

Too late. There was a day when such a demand would have the speaker an instant trip to the floor, let alone the hospital. Said speaker would be lucky to recover the full utilization of his motor control by the time he got out of the hospital three months later. In fact, that had almost happened to somebody very similar to the man walking through the crowd now; all six feet of arrogant, muscle ripped physique. As it was, Ranma had adapted to the course language that was thrown around commonplace like a martial arts tactic and rolled her eyes without even a twitch in her cheek. "Sorry big boy. You had your chance."

"Make an exception." She stood up and sighed as he moved into her immediate space, staring down at her with a condescending grin. He bent down to her, pressing her with his imposing height until they were nose to nose. The man had spiked brown hair, black goatee and a wild look in her eyes that told Ranma everything she needed to know about the man.

So much for the clean exit, she shrugged mentally. It was all just a few steps above petty thievery and crime, but they were important steps... and then there were the times when somebody like the wall of muscle in front of her justified it all, and she pressed her nose into his. "And what are you going to do to make it worth my while, dipshit?"

"If you win this one," he rose back up to his full height in mock thought, then looked back down at the girl. "I'll fuck your brains out until the sun rises, how's that?"

Roars of laughter filled the bar and Ranma rolled her eyes. "C'mon, you think I already don't get that offer fifty times a day without droppin' into a shit hole like this?"

It was also the sad truth, but the patrons around broke back into laughter regardless. The man's cheek began to twitch with the direct assault on his masculinity and the martial artist prepared to rub salt on a wound she was already well familiar with. "How about instead of your fantasy bedroom life, we talk real world. How much you got, top gun?"

His grin turned to a sneer, but she could tell it was forced now. Hook... "More than you can handle, whore."

"Look we've already been over your daydreams," She snorted, inciting more laughter. Money was already changing hands in the crowd around them and she readied the line. "Lets talk hard cash, not limp dicks. How much can you put up...? Assumin' you can get it up at all."

The sneer turned into a silent glower now and the bar's heckling began in earnest. Ranma took her seat back at the beaten table and the brute crossed to his side, pulling out the seat that had only been recently vacated. "I'll put up-"

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma cut him off, slapping a portion her winnings down on the table. It wasn't a fortune by any means given who she was suckering and where, but it was enough to cause a pregnant pause in the smoke filled room. "C'mon. You can make this interestin', can't you?"

The thug's eyes narrowed on the cash, then flicked up to the innocent expression Ranma had fixed, cocking her head as if she couldn't understand his hesitation. After all, he was such a wall of muscle and she was cute as a button, what was the problem? Of course, it was all but impossible not to smell the setup at this stage, but her challenger was now stuck- purposely trapped -between a rock and a hard place. His only choice now was to either duck out of the challenge and take the girlie man label or take his chance on the setup... which was a forgone conclusion whether he realized it yet or not.

And then it's gonna get messy, Ranma noted to herself as the big man- a mix of Asian and something else took the seat across from her. The dumbass was predictable and she knew that pretty much any road taken with him would end violently, which was why she was going to enjoy putting him in his place. The crowd around her, on the other hand, was a different story. Putting him in his place would probably be too much for them to take and then... Guess he ain't the only one backed into a corner.

THunK!

Ramma's eyebrow arched as her opponent slammed his forearm down on the table, causing the rickety wood structure to wobble. Beside his arm was a stack of baht for the taking as he held her with a sneering gaze. "All of that and you in the sack. I promise I'll be real gentle."

The Saotome snorted, taking his open grip several sizes larger than her own. His arms were long enough to completely deny her of any leverage for her elbow, but it was completely inconsequential. "Don't take a hint too well, but I'll be happy to take your money."

His hand closed around hers like a vice, causing her no discomfort whatsoever as the bartender came up to the table, looked at his mismatched combatants then slapped the table. the crowd roared as the match began and the thug immediately put his full weight behind his arm, muscles bulging impressively as he sought to utterly dominate the redhead across from him. Every bit of logic told most of the people watching that she was completely outmatched and out classed, but fifteen seconds into the contest, his arm had failed to move hers. Fifteen became twenty. At the thirty second mark, the noise started to fall off into murmuring and Ranma favored him with a bored expression.

"Guess it's my turn, then."

For the first time since the start of the match his arm moved. The thug's eyes widened for the singular fact that it was moving on the wrong direction. The crowd was alive again and the redhead increased her strength fractionally, pushing the muscle laden arm lethargically to defeat over the next thirty seconds. The man strained, he grunted, he cursed. Nothing was stopping the girl from inexorably pressing the back of his hand to the back of the table. Less than two inches from the beaten bar table, she stopped and simply stared at him. His gaze flicked nervously from his taxed grip to her equally unyielding gaze and back.

She let him stew for another fifteen seconds to work the crowd, then eased back, letting him fight for each excruciating inch back to the half way point while staring at him. Sweat ran down the thug's brow as she stopped him once more at the half way point straight up in order to clearly communicate who was in control of the match. After another few precious moments she allowed him to push her own arm further to the table ever so slowly while he desperately gripped the table from every ounce of leverage he could. The table creaked and ten seconds later, Ranma's hand gently touched its battered surface.

His eyes widened as she released his grip with an easy smile. "Damn, looks like ya won. Guess this is yours."

She pushed her investment to his side of the table as the crowd rolled in to congratulate the local hero. Drinks flowed and she began to ease her way out of the mass, and was largely successful in doing so until a large hand clamped onto her shoulder to stop her cold.

"What about the rest of my prize?"

Ranma ground her teeth down, recognizing the asshole's voice immediately. She didn't even bother to turn toward him in the attempt to keep her temper in check. "Ya got the money. Take it and don't push your luck."

The grip tightened and he attempted to spin the redhead around. "I'm taking what's mine, bit- huh?"

Ranma grabbed the thug's hand calmly, lifted it off her shoulder as if it wasn't a vice grip and began to twist the palm outward. His entire arm began to twist and pain stabbed through its length as the six foot man was forced to either kneel to her height or forfeit the joint. His free hand grabbed ineffectually at her own to pry it loose and she simple stared at his efforts passively as he sank to his knees.

"I swear this is some cosmic joke," Ranma huffed with mock indignation as she held the brute, a man easily a full torso taller, on his knees in an excruciating wrist lock. She shook her head as the man grunted in pain. "Like God decided my punishment for being being the best damn martial artist you'll ever see was this hot body and to be eternally hit on by dumbasses."

"Let... let me go, bitch!" He all but squealed as she tweaked his arm tighter prompting him to abandon his efforts in favor of the excruciating pain coursing through his hyper extended joints.

"Look, I gave ya your chance," She returned with a bored expression. "Hell, I even lost just to give you a chance to save some face. I mean seriously, what part of-"

Chack-Chack!

"You got to be kidding," She finished, looking over to her right while continuing to pin the thugs joint. Her view now consisted of the large bore of a pump shotgun aimed squarely at her head. Guns began to make their appearance from their various holsters and Ranma rubbed her temple with her remaining free hand.

"We get irritable when somebody runs a scam on our turf, girl," The man behind the shotgun growled, causing Ranma to look down the barrel and into the his sunglasses skeptically.

"But you're okay arm wrestling chicks half your size for easy money, huh?" The redhead snorted and tweaked her victims arm tighter to make the point. Since everything was about to get messy, she went for broke and poured on the venom. "I mean seriously, is this the bar where all the pussies hang out, waiting for eight year-olds to stumble in to muscle around?"

The shotgun's barrel began to quiver as it's owner's temper began to erode. "You're gonna give us back all our money. Then your going to give us all your money. And then we're all going to take turns raping the shit out of you."

Agreement coursed through the bar and Ranma simply sighed.

"That's what the last bar of jackasses said too," She looked down at her still immobile and damn near paralyzed victim, as if looking for advice. "And why is it you always go after the unarmed chicks, anyway? Are guns like dumbass-be-gone for you people or something?"

"Bitch it's time you shut your-"

The shotgun wielding patron snarled only to watch the girl fluidly sidestep his aim. He triggered the weapon on impulse and firearm bucked just to the right of her head, all but deafening her and ejecting nine .33 caliber balls into open air. Since there was no longer a mouthy redhead in there way, the ordinance proceed into the next available barrier. One of the patrons less than three meters away took five of the nine rounds of lead shot directly in the chest at close range, imparting enough force to blow him back into his friends. One of those friends took two of those pellets in the face. Both collapsed in a spray of blood as round number three buried itself in the plywood wall beyond while number four took another one of the crowd in the arm to wound him.

Three patrons had been effectively removed from combat in less than a seconds and the thought was forming the shotgun bearers head to rack another shell when the girl batted the barrel to point into the ceiling, then forced her foot through his kneecap. His weapon fell away with his scream and she profiled left just as another pistol leveled off, evading the new weapon's aim in a blur while never letting go of the man she had pinned to the ground with her joint lock. Her arm wrestling companion squealed as she wrenched at his arm while moving into position to slap the gun away. Another patron yelped as the three rounds found a new unintended target, but the weapons was already skidding across the floor while a stationary round house with the shooters name on it destroyed her target's jaw. He tumbled left, taking more crowd with him.

Unfinished section

**An Ascending Light**  
**Chapter #?**

_**N**orth Korea. If you looked at my jacket, the official debrief will tell you that's where it all fell apart. Things are never that simple, of course. Being a doctor myself, I can tell you better than anybody that a person doesn't just snap. There's always an underlying reason; fault lines, if you will. Mine began in Beijing... Maybe as far back as Moscow, though it really doesn't matter. The psychologists said it was probably a consequence of my cover, and in that, they're probably right. You can only serve as the personal physician to so many high ranking party loyalists while their populace suffered in absolute destitute before a rich vein of contempt sets in, or maybe that was just me._

_In either case, Public Security was correct on one point: It did make for the perfect cover. It was the perfect cover in Russia, and it was the perfect cover in China. I looked after the well being of those in positions of power, while they inadvertently let classified information slip during the course of their visits; information that I passed onto my superiors in Japan. A pressure point here, an "herbal remedy" there... I saw to it that military officers and Party officials in my care became very talkative; and who better to trust than your own state security approved physician?_

_It was such a perfect cover that Vice Marshall Xiao Piyang of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea was dressed down to his skivies for his annual check-up when I calmly reached around and snapped his neck within the privacy of my own examination room. I stepped out of the room to ask for assistance from his two personal body guards, then promptly killed them as well. The psychological examination after my extraction didn't come as any surprise, really, but the involuntary administrative leave hit home. I think the turning point came when they asked if I would ever compromise my cover again in such a manner. There was only one reply I could give them after everything I had heard and seen in North Korea._

_In a heartbeat._

-Public Security Intelligence Agency Debrief

Crapspace ANs - _In case it isn't readily apparent, this one was Doctor Tofu_

* * *

**Random Snippet, later in Rounapur arc**

Ranma watched the vampire's smile with a mixture of emotions that was frightening to even reflect upon. Warmth. Desire. Passion. She wanted this man; wanted to feel the caress of his hand upon her cheek. She could feel it in tingle the parts of her female anatomy better left unspoken of. It almost made what came next for her impossibly heartbreaking, but she embraced the cat's bloodlust and smiled in kind, reached out to him. The fifty caliber revolver flashed out of empty space and into her hand, already leveling off on his head.

"I'm not your puppet, asshole." The redhead smiled cruelly even as the pale handsome man's expression morphed into stunned surprise. He didn't even have time to react as she pulled the trigger, splashing fire against his right cheek. There wasn't even time for the silver hollowpoint to expand inside the Prince's cranium before it exited the back a fraction of a second later causing his head to snap back in a shower of gore. The vampires glamor instantly evaporated from the atmosphere, allowing the woman to breath once more.

The end result was less than spectacular. The vampire's head lulled lazily for a moment, causing a frown to envelope Ranma's expression as he slowly returned his attention to her. Half of his face was masculine perfection. Beautiful and sculpted with a single glistening blue eye that stared upon her curiously. The other was gone with the left side of his face and the tunnel of gore she had craved through stright to the other side.

She considered sending the next chambered round through the other side, but couldn't help but to stare in morbid fascination as the massive wound dripped and pulsed, reparing itself before her very eyes. Ranma had seen bones broken, people shot and wings literally ripped off the back of demigods. Watching somebody's skull repair a thirty centemeter hole in itself was a new one.

"That... stung." The Prince considered the sensation even as muscle rewove iteld along the left side of his face with tension and pain. Only one eye was capable of considereing the woman who shot him thoughtfully. The other was barely in the process of creation. "Silver, perhaps?"

"350 grains." She deadpanned, refusing to look away from the morbid repairs or show any signs of weakness whatsoever. "Blessed."

"Ah. The glamor was horribly rude of me. Force of habit." He shrugged apologetically, then smiled for her. "Perhaps we should-"

She stared, her face an emotionless, controlled mask. Within their were conflicting emotions, however. Shoot the pompus ass or leave the almost insufferably polite and nigh indestructable vampire be? The glamor had also taken its toll. He had turned it off, but its effects were still stiring up an emotional tempest. Here, surrounded by vampires wasn't the best place to be sorting it out, either. In the end, she decided discression was the better part of valor with a snarky response.

"Fuck off."

She responded sharply, interrupting the vampire outright. His eyes widened as the girl whirled around as if to leave abruptly then simply vanished before hsi very sight. The Prince blinked, as did his suddenly alarmed personal guards men who were suddenly scrambling in search of the redhead. Their leader meirly smiled, suddenly having found soemthing- someone -quite fascinating and possibly worth his time.

Crapspace ANs -_ This is now a Vampire Masquerade/WoD xover!_

* * *

**Crapspace Notes:** _Whoooo, this one was all over the place. Underwent several revisions and such. It started out as an experimental fic, in that it wouldn't be told in chronological order. The general premise was that Naruto is effectively immortal with the fox still in belly, explaining his history up to present day tokyo where he takes Ranma on as a student. Sasuke is still alive, explained using the dues ex machina eyeballs and still holding a grudge over past injustices, taking it out on Ranma. Ranma experiences loss, evolution and growth in his own quest to avenge himself on Sasuke. yep, dark. And probably overly complicated. I might cannibilize parts of it for a future fic, but nothing quite so plot-shotgun in nature. Ultimately became too much of a hassle._


	27. Chaotic Neutral

Crapspace Disclaimer: Sorry about the alerts. This is organization and cleanup.  
Disclaimer; This fic features enough ooc to make your eyeballs bleed by means of alternate timeline and events. Your suffering will only amuse me further.

* * *

**Chaotic Neutral**  
_By Ozzallos_

**P**eople were staring.

It had been a rainy day for the little Tokyo suburb of Nerima, which in turn had limited the amount of foot traffic along its wet streets. It was neither a drenching rain, nor a light rain; it simply was, annoying some pedestrians enough to pop open their umbrellas while others simply ignored the sprinkling around them. All the pedestrians on the street, however, were now staring in spite of the patter around them. A random salary man who had ducked out for lunch stood slack jawed while trying to rationalize the sight walking toward him.

It was a dog. A rather large dog, by his estimation, being ridden by a red headed teen girl. A mother and her daughter also stopped to stare as the beast and its rider padded by, the child pointed excitedly as they did so.

On closer inspection, the large canine the redhead rode was much too lean to be classified as a proper dog. Its coat of fur was a dark auburn despite the girl's best efforts to keep the animal dry with the large bamboo umbrella she wielded against the light patter of drizzle. Regardless, few would have mistaken the beast she rode for a dog, as its lanky build and fine coat of fur pointed more towards that of a fox. The thin muzzle of the animal and long, bushy tail only served to reinforce that observation, though the average pedestrian would have correctly noted that foxes simply didn't grow to a length of six feet or stand nearly chest high on four legs alone.

Nor did they have three bushy tails as opposed to simply one.

All in all, the girl was an almost ordinary counterpoint to the animal, save the fact that she rode atop the vulpine with practiced ease, attempting to helpfully keep the umbrella centered over its mass. Walking alone, she would have done a more than a respectable job attracting her own share of attention. She was in her teens and petite, but had curves in all the right places. Her ample bosom provide more than a passing distraction while her exotic red hair and fine Chinese silks further served as a beacon, alerting any red blooded male in the area to the fact that there was a hot babe in the general vicinity.

"You sure about this mom?" The giant fox cocked its head as it padded along and growled softly. The girl sighed stoking the luxurious fur beneath her. "Hell, I don't even remember what he looks like."

The beast rumbled with sympathy and the girl smiled with effort. One leg swung around off the fox's back and she hopped off. "Fine then," She challenged. "If that's the way it's going to be, I'll race you there!"

Suddenly the girl was off sprinting at high speeds down the street, leaving the fox to take stock of the situation. It watched the girl diminish rapidly into the distance, then turned its triangular head to either side, listening to the gawking bystanders who continued to mutter something about a giant fox in disbelief. The fox considered them for a moment then snorted with amusement.

Lean muscles coiled as she sighted the girl, releasing in a blur that left water spraying up in a fine mist where she had just stood.

The fox was gone.

* * *

**A**yumi Tendo eyed the overcast skies with a frown. Not that she was opposed to rain in generally, just that she was opposed to it on laundry day. Laundry was fine and rain was fine, but either on the same did not make for pleasant experience when air drying clothes on the line out back. She weighed her options and decided the laundry could sit damp inside for a few hours. The weather forecast has predicted a break later on today and much as she loathed letting it wait until the late afternoon, she would manage.

Instead, the Tendo Matriarch opted to grab the feather duster from the kitchen wall opposite of her. She pulled an egg blue apron of the hook next to it and began to tie it around her waist while considering the events transpiring in the next room.

Genma Saotome was excited.

Usually she wasn't all that pleased when Genma showed up. It usually meant occupying her husband for a prolonged period of time with shogi and sake, creating two very inebriated males. While she wasn't opposed to the festivities per se, their indulgence went a bit above and beyond, leaving it to her to ensure the girls were elsewhere for the rest of the night.

Those thoughts continued in her mind as she peeked out of the kitchen, watching as Genma handed her husband a card, pointing to it happily- no, _ecstatically_. Her husband's face likewise lit up in a broad smile. She stared curiously as the pair carried on about something concerning China. Truth be told, she could forgive Genma his indulgences and her husband for partaking in them. It had been nearly ten years after all, and Soun, God bless his soul, was helping keep the man from going off the deep end by helping relieve the pressure. She just wish that relief didn't involve the quantities of alcohol that it did.

Today, however, there was no sake. Or shogi, for that matter. In fact, her husband's best friend looked more alive than he had in years. _All over a simple card?_ Ayumi Tendo shrugged. She'd find out sooner or later, even if she had to use the bedroom to pry the information out of So-kun... A fond smile drifted to her lips. He never could keep a secret, especially in there.

Ayumi stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, having schooled the rather heated smirk into a simple smile for the sake of her company. She half expected the celebration to quickly quiet into secretive looks upon her entry into the living room, but no such event occurred. Genma remained all smiles, growing even more excited as she stepped into the room. He snatched the card back from her husband and was over to her in a flash. The gleam in his eyes was nearly maniacal as he proffered her the card.

"She's back, Ayume-chan!"

Ayume Tendo blinked, taking the card carefully while looking over Genma's shoulder at her husband for some reassurance that the man hadn't gone off the deep end. Soun nodded with his own reassuring smile and she turned her attention back to the card. It was, in fact, a post card, one that had seen it's better day if the creases and scuff marks were any indication. She ignored them in favor of the fluid script that adorned the card, reading it semi-aloud.

"Hi. Bringing Ranma from China. Saotome." Ayume stared, then turned the card over, finding a picture of a fat black and white panda chewing on a green stalk of bamboo then flipping it back over to reread the terse message. _After ten years…?_ "This couldn't be…"

"Nodoka's coming home! With Ranma!" Genma snatched the card back, clutching it as if it were a treasure. "Oh, how I've waited for this day!"

Genma Saotome was practically dancing now while Soun's wife boggled. It was the first contact she had seen from her best friend in nearly ten years. Nodoka and her child had been out of communication for so long that she thought the woman had just up and left Genma for another man, never to return. Granted, it was odd to leave her best friend in the dark as well, but Nodoka had always been the flighty sort. It was amazing she had even settled down long enough to have a child in her humble opinion, as the woman liked her men.

_The more men, the better_, Ayumi chuckled mentally with reminiscence of her best friend's character. In reality, Genma was exactly her type- handsome in his youth, daring; an all around bad boy martial artist with a heart of gold. And if she recalled Nodoka's words correctly, 'an absolute beast in bed'. She stole a quick glance at rounding martial artist. Hard to believe, given his current state; that being slightly over weight and balding. Still, the man had what Nodoka wanted, so who was she to judge?

_But after ten years…_ She stepped around Genma, favoring her husband directly. "Are we sure? I mean after so long?"

Soun nodded with a smile. "Genma insists it's her handwriting and China was on the original itinerary."

Ayumi nodded, having noted the handwriting herself. Aside from the deteriorated condition of the postcard, it certainly looked like it was No-chan's, and her husband would know just about as well as she would… She looked back at Genma. "When was the post card dated?"

"May fifteenth." He offered with a quick glance at the card.

Ayumi Tendo made some calculations in her head based on the date and came to a decision. The post card looked like it had taken the long way around to get to Genma, which meant that his wife and her best friend's arrival was probably imminent according to the date. She turned back to her husband. "Would you mind if we cancelled tonight's classes?"

"Of course not, Ami-chan." Soun smiled as the spark of Genma's excitement began to find his wife as well. Far be it from him to deny their first reunion in a decade. "Let's get the girls, too. We'll make a celebration of it."

Ayumi nodded happily and was off to make preparations for her best friend's return.

* * *

"**T**o defeat owner in savage combat, use rear entrance." The redhead read from the placard sitting out in front of the Tendo School of Indiscriminant Grappling. The girl chuckled. "Think I'm liking this place already, Mom."

The fox bared it's canines in vulpine impression of a grin and nudged the girl forward with her orangish-red muzzle. The girl sighed. "Alright, alright."

Her hands hesitated at grasping the lanyard that hung from the gate bell for a moment, but knew mother had been looking forward to this for a long time now. She, on the other hand, was not. They were going to have to explain everything _again_ and that was almost invariably a monumental pain in the ass. _The life of a martial artist and all that_, she shrugged mentally and gave the bell three good rings. Moments later, the sound of light footsteps on gravel could be heard. The redhead adjusted the umbrella to cover more of her companion and the dojo gates opened, revealing a gentle looking woman in her early twenties with her own umbrella to ward away the rain. She wore a simply white blouse and sky blue dress, framed by waves of brunette hair bound by a pink scrunchie.

"Hello, can I help—Oh my."

The woman's eyes instantly left the redhead upon noticing the fox beside her. 'Oh my' was, in retrospect, an understatement as the animal stood nearly neck high to the girl herself, then gained another foot as it sat patiently back on its haunches. Rational thought within the gatekeeper's brain ceased as she stared at an animal that didn't have any right to exist outside of a children's story books.

"Ahem," The redheaded girl coughed, drawing the woman's attention away from her companion. The brunette's head pivoted back onto her slowly, as if grinding on un-oiled gears of disbelief.

"What a pretty… _dog_ you have…" The girl complimented haltingly and the girl seemed to deflate slightly.

"Uh_, yeah_." The redhead nodded, barely suppressing a roll of the eyes. The woman was distracted enough as it was and failed to appreciate her efforts. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Is Mister Saotome in? We checked the house, and mom figures the next best place is here."

"Uncle Saotome?" The question seemed to jar the woman out of her trance, her eyes lighting up. She paused, scrutinizing the girl further. "Yes, he's here... But we were expecting his wife… and _son_."

"Right." The girl known as Ranma deadpanned, not missing the emphasis on the gender either. "I'm his daughter."

The woman was blinking now, processing the new development and the implications that it held. She knew for a fact that Uncle Saotome had never mentioned a daughter, but…

"His daughter?" The redhead nodded cheerfully. "Named Ranma as well?" Another cheerful nod. Kasumi was now thoroughly stumped. "And _your _mother?"

"Nodoka Saotome." The redhead answered. The giant vulpine next to her growled softly and the redhead nodded. "You're Kasumi Tendo?"

Any further speculation by the woman was cut off by the surprise question. "Yes. How did you know?"

Ranma shrugged. "Mom told me. Say, can we come in? This umbrella isn't big enough for the both of us and I'd hate myself if she caught a cold."

Kasumi stared back at the fox next to her, then back to the redhead. _Maybe mother was right_, she speculated silently. Mother had confided in her several times that she thought Auntie Nodoka had left Uncle Genma, but really hadn't put any stock in the theory until now. _Now_, the proof was all but staring her in the face. _A daughter born of an affair, come to see the man her mother was married to… _Kasumi mused. _Messy, messy, messy… _

The eldest of the Tendo sisters broke from her musing and nodded at the girl with a kindly smile. "Where are my manners? Of course you may."

"Thanks!" Ranma chirped allowing the fox to pass first before following into the courtyard herself. Even as they walked the short gravel walk, Ranma found herself analyzing the walk of Kasumi Tendo on pure reflex. _Definitely a martial artist… crowd control… Heavy on the throws… Judo derivative…?_

The distance to the house was covered quickly and both girls closed their umbrellas as Kasumi opened the door, fully expecting the dog to remain outside and the girl to come inside. "I'm sorry but your dog—"

The giant red fox simply sauntered past her. She was about to protest until she processed the oddity of the _three_ plush tails dragging along behind it. The redhead followed in tow, flashing her a smile. "Don't worry, she's house trained—Whoops!"

Kasumi watched as one of the tails animated suddenly, taking a half hearted swat at the girl, who in turn jumped just out of range. Ranma stuck her tongue out playfully then slipped off her Chinese slippers, setting them with the rest of the household's footwear. Kasumi could only stare as the girl finished the operation and followed the huge dog deeper into the house. Something in her brain was nagging her about the animal, something about a fox having numerous tails…

_A kitsune?_

She had to stifle a sudden giggle at the ludicrous idea. _A girl and her magical kitsune. Does that make her a magical girl as well?_ Kasumi considered the insane thought for a moment. _No, she's definitely a martial artist. A good one too…_

In the next room, Ayume Tendo, Soun Teno and Genma Saotome were having more fun than they had had in years, while Akane and Nabiki sat beside the adults, listening to outrageous tales of dating and martial arts, all centered around on Nodoka Saotome. The table was set and the food waiting in the kitchen for the guest of honor, when a giant reddish orange fox simply walked into the living room, looking around.

All conversation ceased abruptly as the family considered this new development.

Its head cocked at them as the fox considered them right back, and Nabiki Tendo was the first to break the silent suspension of disbelief. "Is it just me, or did a very large fox just join us for dinner?"

Ayumi subtly interposed herself between the animal and her daughters. "So-kun… could you, um…"

Before Soun could answer his wife's request to eject the fox by either coercion or force, a petite redhead round the corner behind it, shortly followed by Kasumi. The new girl smiled at the scene. It wasn't her first time to participate in it either. Five sets of eyes flicked from the fox, then to the girl and finally on to the Kasumi, who wore a nervous, befuddled smile.

Soun was the first to speak up. "Kasumi…?"

The eldest sister winced. Not only was it up to her to introduce the new guest, but she was going to simultaneously break some very bad news as well…

"This is… Ranma Saotome," The daughter began hesitantly. Ranma took her cue and bowed. Rapid blinking from the three adults promptly ensued and Kasumi continued. "_Daughter_ of Nodoka Saotome."

All eyes were now on the girl, who sported a pink Chinese top with darker embroidered flowers and gold trim. Even though the double breasted tunic reached up to her neck, it was quite formfitting, leaving nothing to the imagination as to her curves. Where the silk stopped at her belly, the more durable material of her black tangs began. These appeared to be normal wear until she moved or otherwise shifted her weight, revealing slits along the sides that provided brief glimpse of her equally well proportioned legs.

If Soun and Ayumi's brains were fighting to process the new information, Genma's was in positive overload now as he fought through the implications himself. He didn't _have _a daughter. Nodoka hadn't had a daughter. _Unless…Had she been unfaithful? _ Genma's heart seemed to contract suddenly as the logical train of thought followed through, causing him to study the girl further. Much as he would have liked to object to the theory outright, the girl's hair all but squashed it. The shade was all but that of Nodoka's back in the day, proof that the girl shared the same genetic oddity at very least. Her facial features were _definitely_ hers. He knew those too well, while the blue eyes… Genma stalled. That particular genetic anomaly was from _his_ side of the family.

Which just didn't make sense for the affair scenario his brain had first conjured up.

And neither did the other major detail… her age. The girl was fifteen, maybe sixteen years old. Nodoka was giving birth to his boy around that time and another pregnancy would be pretty hard to miss _…Especially with somebody as uninhibited as No-chan_, he added, remembering his wife's exhibitionist tendencies quite vividly. Twins were out of the question as well. He had been there. Hell, Soun_ and _Ayame had been there too. Only one came out and that was a boy.

So what the hell?

"Confused, Genma-kun?" Genma Saotome's attention was stripped from the girl instantly. There was no mistaking that voice. None at all. But it _hadn't_ come from the redhead. It had come from the fox. The other room occupant's were likewise gaping now with the giant animal at the center of attention, which was now melting. The vulpine's form seemed to shift and the only person in the room not staring in shock now was the girl. Fur flowed into an orange and white flowered kimono while a body took shape within. Moments later, a pale woman with vivid auburn hair stood before them with the slightest of smiles. "Under the circumstances, I can't say I would blame you."

"Na… Na… _Nadoka?_" Ayumi stared, completely in awe. Soun's cheek twitched silently beside her. The transforming fox woman also had the kids complete and undivided attention as well.

Genma was likewise floored, his mouth hanging open now. "_No-chan?"_

The fox-woman smiled wider now, and rounded the floor height table, gliding up to Genma with a mischievous smile on her face. Gentle eyes captivated his own; eyes that sparkled with mischief. "I'm sorry I was gone for so long."

Genma eyed the woman that looked so much like his wife. Much as he wanted to vehemently protest the fact that she had just up and left him for nearly a decade, the persistent and sobering fact remained that he had very nearly pulled the same stunt on her. Another fact that he couldn't ignore was that the woman before him was a fox.

In more ways than one.

"Kitsune are known tricksters, old friend." Soun advised lowly, harboring the same doubts as his best friend. Genma nodded, stepping back. Of course, kitsune shouldn't have existed to begin with, but both had seen some very odd things during their time under the Master. He wasn't about to dismiss the possibility that a mythical being had found him for the sole purpose of furthering its own amusement.

"Here we go again…" The redhead mumbled, earning the attention of the daughters. The fox-woman's stepping forward back into Genma's personal space pulled it back to the pair.

"What can I do to prove it to you?"

The woman was close enough now to drive him wild. She looked _exactly_ like his wife. In fact, she looked exactly like the day she had left, as if the last decade had meant nothing. She wore the orange and white leaf kimono just loose enough to afford him a teasing view of her assets and the smell of lilacs wafted around him. Genma Saotome gulped audibly, finding his mouth very, _very_ dry all of a sudden.

"If you are who you say you are, then you'll know something only he would know," Nabiki spoke up, breaking the spell. The woman acknowledged the girl with a nod, smiling.

"Exactly." She confirmed, turning back to Genma with a sly smile. "I particularly recall that night on top of Tokyo Tower. Cloudless night, all alone on the roof of the observation deck and right above the heads of the tourists. The stars… That thing you did with your tongue had me—"

"I'm convinced!" Genma's eyes widened suddenly, bringing the tale to a halt before the more sordid details could be told.

Ayumi nodded slightly, leaning into her husband with a whisper. "Sounds like the Nodoka I know."

Soun nodded sagely. Sounded like the _Genma _he knew, too.

Akane gaped, her face contorting into disgust upon realizing just what was being implied. "Ewww…"

"And if that doesn't convince you…" Nodoka Saotome stepped forward, capturing her husband's lips while applying the rest of her body entirely to the endeavor. Genma stood in surprise at first, but the passionate kiss quickly convinced him that it would be rude not to reciprocate, and hastily returned her efforts in kind.

"Go mom." Ranma murmured, then shrugged. "This might take a while. You guys got a dojo, right?"

It was a rhetorical question, but Akane and Nabiki nodded anyway and Ranma turned for the door, leaving mother and father to engage in their make out session while the rest of the family watched with voyeuristic fascination. Only Akane seemed immune to the public display of affection, snorting with disgust before following the girl out of the room.

Ranma had just stepped out into the open air when Akane appeared behind him, grimacing. "God, I thought I was going to die in there."

"Heh," The redhead chuckled. "Surprised she didn't undress him right there."

That statement brought Akane's mental process to a screaming halt. "That's… that's… _Perverted!_"

"And? Mom hasn't seen my Dad in nearly a decade." Ranma shrugged. "Heck, neither have I. Can't say I blame her."

Akane's indignation at the scene faded with the imminently justified comment, lessened further by the fact that the girl next to her had suffered in the same manner. Lacking a clear avenue of outlet, the youngest Tendo sister turned to an easier target. "But what was that with her…_changing_ like that? And the fox with three tails? It was almost like she was a… a…."

"Kitsune?"

"Exactly!" Akane's bobbled in agreement, failing to notice Ranma's amused response. "Like a kitsune!"

"Because she is," Ranma stepped off the porch and angled to the dojo with a chuckle. "Just like I'm a girl."

Akane began to blink rapidly, digesting the comment before catching back up to the girl who was already halfway to the dojo. "You're… you're kidding. Right?"

Ranma shook her head. "No, I'm really a girl."

"I mean your mother!" The Tendo correct forcefully, completely oblivious to her partner's humor. "She can't be one of those!"

"Sure she can." Ranma shrugged, sliding the dojo door open and stepping in. "That was a pretty tame trick, actually."

Akane Tendo followed the girl in, disbelieving what she had just heard. "You're realize you're saying that your mother is a three tailed kitsune?"

"Yep." Ranma nodded, completely serious, then cracked a faint smile. "Very tragic tale, that."

_Huh?_ was Akane's first thought as the redhead looked about the dojo. _It was a trick_, she rationalized. _Nodoka was playing a trick on Uncle Genma and Ranma is in on it…_

Ranma, on the other hand, was smiling at what she was finding. "Nice dojo. Simple, but elegant."

The redhead let her feet glide across the tatami, testing the stiffness of the surface while getting a feel for the dimensions. Akane glowed with pride for a moment. "Do you practice?"

"Some."

The Tendo smiled. "What styles?"

Ranma snorted with slight amusement, still looking around. "More than I can count. A little of this, a little of that."

"Then how about a little match?" Akane's smile widened. "I won't hurt you, I promise."

The proclamation pulled Ranma's attention away from the surroundings and back to Akane. The slight smile Ranma had been favoring faded as she held the Tendo with a penetrating gaze, her blue eyes seeming to look directly into her. The emotionless gaze persisted, causing the girl to squirm after another moment before abruptly evaporating.

"Nah, think I'll pass." She stated, the slight smile returning. "Need some kata time alone."

_Weird girl_, Akane decided, watching as the girl stepped to the center of the dojo, standing completely still. _And what was with that look—_

Akane's thought process abruptly ceased as the girl exploded. Ranma became a pink and black blur, streaking through a series of lightening fast kicks before transitioning into a series of aerial katas, cutting the air with a series of impossibly quick strikes before returning the mat. Aikido. Jujitsu. Karate. Kung Fu. Akane counted the styles off as the girl stepped through them, her incredulity mounting. It wasn't just the sheer amount of martial arts she was witnessing that had her in awe. It was the speed, accuracy and power inherent in the redhead's form that had her gaping. Akane knew she herself was good. Between her mother, father and Uncle Genma, she was one of the better martial artists in the prefecture. Occasionally, Nabiki could use her speed to corner her, but overall, she could overcome anything thrown her way.

Ranma Saotome, however, was on an entirely different level.

Nabiki couldn't touch her speed and while Akane was suspected she had the edge on sheer power, she knew she couldn't approach the speed or accuracy the girl was employing her massive arsenal with.

Ten minutes later, the girl wound down, barely having broken a sweat. She bowed to an invisible opponent and recovered, wiping a light sheen of sweat from her brow. "Ah, that's better."

Akane gawked. "You're… you're _good._"

"I had better be." Ranma smirked, then put her hands on her hips expectantly. "Well, Akane-chan, let's see what you got!"

"All right!" She grinned, taking the center of the mat as Ranma retreated to the edge. The youngest Tendo knew there was no way she could match the redhead, but she would damn well give her a good show and took a stance.

* * *

"**A**hem," Ayumi Tendo arched an eyebrow as the kiss continued for what was becoming an uncomfortable amount of time for the spectators. Hands began to roam and she was silent glad Akane had already left the room. In front of Kasumi and Nabiki was bad enough. "If you two are done…"

Nodoka Saotome withdrew from the kiss reluctantly, eyes sparkling for Genma alone. "No, not yet. _Not by a long shot_."

The Saotome patriarchs cheeks pinkened slightly, but he managed to reign in his raging libido under the promise that their activities would continue later.

"Some things never change." Ayumi simply shook her head. "Now that you've finished robbing my children of their innocence—"

"A little late there, Mom." Nabiki quipped with a bemused expression.

"I have no idea what you are referring to, mother." Kasumi drawled innocently, prompting their mother to roll her eyes.

"Of course not." The Tendo Matriarch deadpanned, turning back to the reunited couple. "Now that that's out of the way, you had better come give your best friend a hug."

"Gladly" Nodoka smiled warmly, stepping away from Genma and into Ayumi's embrace. "It's so good to see you again! All of you again!"

"We were thinking the same thing Nodoka." Soun nodded patting the woman lightly on the shoulder.

The auburn haired woman shared in the warm glow of companionship for a moment before turning to the two daughters. "My, what a woman you've bloomed into, Kasumi-chan! I'll bet you must have the men eating out of your hand!"

Kasumi just smiled, her cheeks pinkening slightly. "Just one."

Nodoka turned back to Ayumi with exaggerated look of concern. "Don't tell me you've been neglecting the child's education…?"

"Not all of us use men as an appetizer, No-chan." Ayumi Tendo sighed, and Kasumi pinkened further, thankful when Aunt Saotome turned her attention away to Nabiki.

"I used to carry you around as a little girl." The woman observed. "But I don't suppose you remember that, now."

"You used to charge me ten yen for a ride." Nabiki chuckled at the reminiscence.

"And worth every yen." Nodoka added, failing to note Soun lean subtly over to his wife.

"Now we know where she got _that_ from…"

"So that had to be Akane earlier, then." The Saotome woman continued, questioning the middle sister.

"Your make-out session was probably too much for her." Nabiki quipped with slight amusement. Nodoka frowned, turning back to her best friend.

"Your daughters share your looks, Mi-chan," She puzzled. "No reason for your youngest to shy away from a simple kiss."

"Ha!" Ayumi couldn't hold it in this time. "Your simple kisses are blue movie material, Nodoka. Besides, she's having some… _boy trouble_ at school."

Nodoka shrugged the first part of her comment off. "I see. Maybe my daughter can show her a thing or two, then."

Ayumi was chuckling with the comment. _If daughter is anything like her mother, then…_ Then she remembered one very crucial detail. "Um, Nodoka-chan… About that…"

The mood suddenly dampened with those words, and Genma especially felt the return of uncertainty over the entire situation. They were questions that he really didn't want to ask, but needed to be addressed. Fortunately, Soun took up one for him as well.

"And that trick with the fox…"

"Of course," The woman acknowledged their concerns as if they were not only expected, but a routine occurrence. She turned to her husband. "I can assure that not only was I that fox, but the girl is your child as well."

Genma Saotome let the information absorb for a moment but failed to make any sense of it. "But, we didn't _have_ a girl No-chan! She's about Ranma's age… Did you… _we_ adopt her?"

"And how did you pull the fox trick off, Auntie?" Nabiki chimed in herself, more than curious.

Nodoka looked at each of the room's occupants, then sighed. "You might as well get comfortable, as this is going to be a very long story." She turned and stepped back over to Genma, finding his hands. "I can assure you that we only have one child and that child is Ranma, both the boy I left with and the girl that was just here."

"I… but…." Genma stalled, picking through the logic. He couldn't find any in her statement. "That doesn't make any sense though, No-chan."

"Just as I am the woman you love and the fox that entered this room." Nodoka continued softly.

Ayumi Tendo seized a theory and voiced it first. "Are you saying Ranma changes like that? Like you?"

"Not quite." Her best friend shook her head. "I have an unfair advantage over my… _condition_. Ranma doesn't have such a luxury."

"And what luxury is that, Auntie?" Kasumi asked in turn and Nodoka smiled.

"Kitsune are natural shape shifters." She explained easily, turning to Nabiki. "If you could be a dear and fetch us two glasses of hot water. Not scolding, just hot. Ranma will be in shortly. She'll be able to demonstrate our mutual condition much better than I."

"This is decidedly…odd." Soun admitted as the middle sister left to fetch the water. "Were you anybody else, I'd assume this was all an elaborate joke…"

"Sadly, no." Nodoka shook her head. "It's a curse we picked up in China. Does Jusenkyo ring any bells, husband?"

"Jusenkyo…" Genma rolled the name around on his tongue, trying to recall the itinerary he drew up nearly a decade ago. "Something about a legendary training ground in the heart of China?"

"Very good," Nodoka nodded with a mischievous smile. "Except for the fact that it is not a training ground of any sort." She turned to the rest of her audience. "It's a site of nearly one hundred cursed springs, fueled by death magic."

"What… do these springs _do_, Nodoka?" Ayumi Tendo asked tentatively, not sure she wanted to know the answer to anything fueled by death.

"They change things," She replied. "Specifically, they change any living thing that falls in to them into whatever drowned there last. In my case…"

Nodoka's body wavered for the second time since her arrival, swirling in upon itself and shifting impossibly into orange fur, four long legs, a pair of prominent triangular ears and the snout of a _very_ large fox. Genma, Soun, Ayumi and Kasumi stared, as did Nabiki when she stepped back in with two glasses of hot water. Genma's wife held the form for a moment and shifted back, furthering the incredulous atmosphere.

"Nodoka-chan…" Genma whispered, then was surprised by her smile.

"You fell into the spring curse with a drowned kitsune?" Soun asked, disbelief seeping into his voice.

"It's not so bad." The auburn haired woman mused, pulling the two glasses away from a stunned Nabiki. "I have a marginal amount of control over my curse given the fact that Kitsune are natural shape shifters. The curses are water based. Cold water activates the curse, warm water reverses it."

The Saotome set one glass down on the table at their feet and upturned the other over her head. Water flowed and dripped, dampening the woman. Little changed, and for a moment, the family watching thought that nothing had happened whatsoever.

Nabiki, however, was the first to notice. Her hair had lost a bit of the predominantly red shine, darkening. Tiny lines had introduced themselves to the edges of her eyes and lips. The middle Tendo hazarded a guess. "You're… you aged?"

"She's a sharp one." Nodoka directed a smile towards Ayumi who was only now picking up on the change. "Correct. This is the body I was born with. No glamour, no magic, but one-hundred percent human."

"Hmmf," Ayumi snorted, taking the subtle change in. "Glamour indeed. I was wondering why you hadn't aged a day in ten years."

Nodoka Saotome smiled, then faded slightly as she continued the explanation, turning back to her husband. "Ranma doesn't have it quite so convenient."

She let the statement sink in. It took a few moments. Genma's cheek twitched once the realization sank in. "But… Ranma's a _boy_. My BOY."

"And at the moment, she's a girl." Nodoka sighed. This was the part she really was_ not_ looking forward to, and it was all her fault. She had taken Ranma. She had followed the itinerary. She had led them to China.

"A boy _and_ a girl?" Kasumi blinked, trying to process the new information that was just as unbelievable as the Kitsune woman standing before them. More so, if only because being two genders hit a bit closer two home than a semi-mythical fox spirit.

"Yes." She confirmed softly. "Much as it pains me to admit, I did not have a full grasp of Chinese at the time and failed to heed the guide's warnings, nor did he have a sufficient grasp of Japanese to convey the danger in time. I fell into the spring of drowned Kitsune; Ranma, the spring of drowned girl."

"But Ranma is a boy!" Genma blurted, nearly hyperventilating now as parts of his brain began to redline. His only son… supposed to be the best… trained for ten years… _a girl! They needed protection! His son was-_

"How old was he?" Ayumi asked, embracing her best friend in a show of support.

"Seven years old."

* * *

**Ten Years Earlier.**

"**H**usband, exactly WHERE do you think you're going with our son?"

Genma paled, glancing over his shoulder at the redheaded embodiment of fury, then to the child in his arms. His hand had been inches away from the doorknob and success, but those inches might as well have been miles now. "Uhh... Training mission of course! To make a man out him!"

"In the middle of the night?"

"Ehhhh..." The balding martial artist scratched his head sheepishly and Nodoka Saotome pressed her charge.

"You're starting to behave entirely too much like that old, perverted master." She scowled, thumbing the hilt of the family katana. Its lethal potential was a stark contrast to the long pastel nighty she had confronted her husband in. Had Genma been caught it a different situation, it might have been pleasantly- Her step forward was prompted his step back, shattering any wistful fantasies that were floating around in his head.

"But No-chan!" He protested, thrusting the confused gi-clad boy out in front of him as if he were simultaneously defense exhibit 'A' and a human shield. "It's for his own good! He'll be the manly man you always wanted!"

"BUT NOT LIKE THIS!" Nodoka snapped. The expectant silver of the family honor blade never cleared the scabbard. Instead it was the scabbard itself that found her husband's head with unerring accuracy with a sudden 'whack!' The martial artist stood ridged for a moment then slumped over, Nodoka snatching the child away before he fell.

Little Ranma simply watched the scene with wide eyes. His father was out cold.

"Momma?"

"Don't worry, Ranma." She patted the boy's head and set him down, inspecting the growing knot on her husband's cranium_. Should have done that a while ago, but he is right... If Ranma was to become a manly man, he'd need a more challenging environment than Nerima._ With that thought, she pulled the pack from her husband's now inert body and began to rummage through it. _Planning to leave in the middle of the night with nothing more than a mere note, was he? Let's see how he likes a taste of his own medicine! Training voyage, huh? _She snorted mentally, allowing her thought process to take a sinister bend. _Two could play that game!_

She pulled various items and supplies from the pack, looking for clues as to her husband's plans for her son. _Forbidden scrolls... Techniques... Maps… Ah!_ Nodoka smiled almost evilly. A training itinerary, complete with every stop he planned to take the boy; even a few places in China! _I've always wanted to go there._ Nodoka took Ranma's hand and stared back down at Genma with a contemptuous sniff. By the time SHE was done with Ramna, he WOULD be a man among men.

"One moment while I change, Ranma-kun. Daddy won't be awake for a while and we have SO much to do!" The little boy smiled back cluelessly and waited while his mother disappeared, returning wearing gi and overstuffed pack of her own. Her husband's pack was quickly liberated of anything that looked even remotely valuable, and it wasn't ten minutes later that the pair were out into the night, leaving a comatose martial artist in their wake.

* * *

_Knock-knock-knock._

**A**yumi Tendo frowned slightly as the sound resonated through the house, interrupting her preparation of the family meal. The sound also caused her nine year old daughter to pause, the light tapping of her sharp knife silent in deference to curiosity. After all, the last of the students had gone home hours ago and hardly anybody ever came calling at this time of night. Even the occasional challenger usually had more respect than to arrive during the dinner hour.

That fact alone narrowed the list of suspects considerably, and it was with that thought that she handed off the wooden ladle to her eldest in order to ascertain whether or not her suspicions were correct. It took next to no time to transverse the space from the kitchen to the doorway, opening the door only seconds later. She put on a pleasant, if manufactured smile for the person she all but knew was waiting on the other side. No, she wasn't annoyed that he was here right before dinner. Or the fact that she was now obligated to invite him in to partake of said dinner. No, no annoyance here whatsoever. She pulled open the door and the smile almost slipped.

"Genma-san, what a pleas-" Ayumi's initial countenance faded as she took in the man, who was obviously bedraggled and distraught. For once, she doubted he was over simply to partake of a game of Shogi and free sake. _Already smells as if he may have already hit the sake part_, she mused, stepping aside to admit her husband's best friend. In that moment of silent observation, she knew exactly what had happened, and wasn't sure whether to cheer or grieve.

No-chan finally dropped the deadbeat?

"I… I need to speak to Soun…" The same force of will that had kept the smile plastered across her face earlier enabled Ayumi to withstand the tidal wave of spent alcohol emanating from the martial artist's breath.

"Of course. Come right in." She nodded sympathetically. "I'll let Soun know you're here."

Ayumi disappeared around the corner and a moment later, a clean shaven, dark haired man stepped into view, proffering a tanned hand out to Genma. "Old friend! What brings you to this neck of the- " He stopped short, noticing not only a hand lacking his friends grasp, but the distraught state of that same friend. "What happened, Genma?"

"She's gone," The slim, balding martial artist croaked as he leaned against the nearest wall. "Took everything."

"Everything?"

"Scrolls. Techniques. Supplies." Genma Saotome shook his head, wiping some imperceptible sweat away. "Even took the boy."

Soun's jaw dropped. "You mean she and Ranma…!"

"Took the boy on the training mission _I _was going to take him on, buddy." The best friend let out a shaky breath, as if the mere act of being in the Tendo's presence and telling the tale required an inhuman effort to accomplish. "Been gone for almost two weeks now."

Soun shook his head in amazement. He told Genma… _Told him!_ That woman had a temper and a half, and even _he_ knew Nodoka would not take her husband's idea concerning Ranma's martial arts training lightly. The best case scenario would be her insistence to tag along. Worst case? Visions of the red headed banshee and her sword flickered to life inside the Tendo patriarch imagination, causing him to shiver slightly. Her skill with that damn blade of hers was nothing to be trifled with. Soun studied his friend's forehead a bit closer, noting the healing bruise. _At least he got a blunt object this time…_

"Looked for her all over…" Genma continued through the silence as Soun took his arm, leading his best friend further into the house. "Where ever she is now, she's not following my original plan. Could be in China now for all I know."

They stepped into the living room and Soun noted that his wife had already set two glasses of sake on the table, mercifully waiting for her husband and Genma; Nor were any of his three daughters to be found, a small miracle in and of itself.

They knelt down to the table and Soun turned a faint smile on Genma, hoping to lighten the mood slightly. "How bad can it possibly be? She's bound to come back before you know-"

"Ten years."

Soun stopped mid sentence, wondering if he had just heard correctly. "You didn't just say…"

"That's how long I estimate it would take to bring Ranma up to par." His friend admitted in a remarkably sober tone. Perhaps it was the weight of the situation that lent sobriety to his apparent condition? "Ten years to make Ranma a man among men and fulfill…" Genma took a quick glance around the room, insuring they were the only ones present. "Well, you know."

Soun_ did_ know, and it wasn't something he was about to mention as long as Umi-chan was within earshot. The last time he had mentioned an arranged marriage between the two families had left him on the couch for as long as it took to earn himself back into her good graces.

"Ten _years_…" he breathed, still quite unable to believe the timeframe himself.

Genma merely nodded, fingering the crème colored glass containing his as yet untouched sake. "That's how long I estimated it would take to visit the various dojos, temples and training sites in Japan… even a few in China."

Soun could only nod dumbly. While Genma hadn't gone about it with any sort of fineness, there was no doubt as to his sincerity concerning The Pact, especially after hearing the lengths he was about to go to ensure that both schools were joined. Only now, it was his _wife_ that was doing the deed. With that thought, he followed his best friend's example and tipped his own porcelain glass of sake back.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"**F**ight you for the okanomiyaki, Ucchan!"

Ukyo Kuonji's eyes widened at the challenge and the little black haired girl spun around to find a small boy of similar age rushing toward her with a grin on his face. The five year old frowned and pulled the red hot spatula off her miniature grill, bringing it to bear on her opponent.

"Not this time, Ran-chan!" The long haired girl charged the pony-tailed boy, bringing the slight spatula around in a wide arc. The boy met the attack head on, ducking under the swipe to engage her hand to hand, prompting the future okanomiyaki chef to attempt a hasty disengage. Across the park, two smiling adults watched the pair tumble though the rough sparring exercise, noting that whatever they lacked in skill, they more than made up for in sheer enthusiasm.

"Two thousand says my Ukyo will beat your boy this time!" The large man next to Nodoka Saotome challenged, stroking his thick black beard with a confident smile.

The red head simply arched an eyebrow and readjusted the silk enclosed katana that rested in the crook of her shoulder. Like the katana, she too was wrapped in the silk of a fine pastel green and blue kimono. A knowing smile slipped across her face. "Is that's all? Surely you have more confidence in your daughter than that?"

The Kuonji patriarch blinked, momentarily at a loss for words as the children continued to tumble across the open park. He cast a wary look in her direction, knowing that the gentle looking soul next to him was in fact a shrewd woman after only a weeks' stay at the Raiju Ken Dojo down the street. Still, he was raising his daughter to be the best in a long line of Okanomiyaki martial arts chefs, and couldn't let the challenge go unanswered. "Alright, fifty thousand!"

The dark redhead next to him merely smiled. The smile was irritating to the yattai owner, as it had the qualities of knowing everything there was to know but revealing nothing. "Let's make this one more interesting."

"More…interesting?"

"Of course," Nodoka nodded. "Fifty thousand and you pay for our meals the rest of the stay." Oro Kuonji did his best to suppress the twitch her offer incited. Then the smile widened to insufferable levels. "Of course, if you don't want to, I understand."

The implication was obvious and the cart owner bristled. "Accepted! And if he doesn't, you… you…" The large chef was obviously at a loss on what to append to his end of the bet when Nodoka slipped her suggestion in easily.

"Will cook and clean for you and your daughter the remaining week we're here?"

"Exactly!" The owner crowed. It actually wasn't a bad suggestion in his eyes. He was cooking day in and out. Cooking for himself, cooking for his customers and teaching his daughter the family art. A change of taste couldn't be considered a bad thing, and instinct told him the woman next to him was a consummate chef herself. "If Ukyo wins, you owe us fifty thousand and-"

He never got to finish the sentence as his eyes widened to the size of five hundred yen pieces. Ukyo had just lunged in for a final attack with her spatula when the Saotome boy jumped atop it, using it as a spring board to land squarely on the little girl and liberating her creation in the process. His mouth fell slack jawed.

"Oh, well, that was unfortunate." Nodoka stated simply, shaking her head. Oro turned to her, still slack jawed. "I was sure he'd give that cute little girl of yours more of a chance this time."

It took the Kuonji another moment to recover as he continued to stare at the two children, one irritated and put out while the other happily munched on his prize. "That… son of yours is really quite good."

"As is your daughter." Nodoka returned the compliment easily, lessening the sting of loosing five thousand yen and a weeks worth of meals for the father. An eerie glint appeared in her eyes, a glint that went unnoticed by the Okanomiyaki master. Had he seen it for himself, he might very well have considered her next words warily indeed. "It really is too bad we'll be leaving in a week."

"Oh? Why is that?"

_Hook_, Nodoka thought as she continued in an almost wistful tone. "They just make such a cute couple, that's all."

Oro Kuonji looked from her to the pair, who were now more than amiable to one another with their daily match out of the way. "They do seem to be getting along well, don't they?"

Nodoka simply nodded, allowing the man to come to his own conclusions. _Line…_

"Hmmm…" he continued to think on the matter, scratching his bearded chin. The Saotome boy was definitely talented, almost gifted in the realm of martial arts, if he was any judge. "Maybe..."

"What's that?" The redhead asked, trying her best to sound genuinely curious.

"I was just thinking." Oro continued. "That maybe once my little girl is all grown up and your boy is done with his training mission..."

_Sinker. _

"I don't see why not." Nodoka replied to the unspoken conclusion. "Nothing formal mind you. I want to keep his options as open as possible, of course."

"Of course, of course." Oro Kuonji waved the fact away as if it were a mere technicality. It was a silly to think he could lock the boy into such a formal engagement anyway. Honestly, who did those these days? Still, he had his foot in the door and if he could somehow pair the children up, they'd strengthen the family art by magnitudes. "But how will I keep my daughter in touch?"

Nodoka Saotome smiled. It was almost a wicked smile. "I just happen to have our address right here."

* * *

"**S**o what do you think of Ukyo, Son?"

The son in question looked up at his mother as the pair walked back to the Raiju Ken Dojo. He stuffed the last reminisce of his prize into his mouth and shrugged. "He's nice. Makes the best okanomiyaki too!"

The last bit of the Kuonji's creation disappeared into Ranma's mouth, prompting him to lick the bit of sauce from his lips as if to emphasis the statement.

"_He?_" Nodoka arched an eyebrow, latching on the subtle emphasis. Ranma blinked cluelessly at her. Seeing no comprehension forthcoming from the boy, she took it upon herself to enlighten her son. "Ranma, Ukyo is a _girl_."

The boy blinked as her words hit home, stopping him in his tracks. "A… girl?" His mother simply nodded. "But…"

"But what?"

"But she can't be a girl." His head was now cocked thoughtfully, evidence of the internal gears grinding within his five year old brain. "Ucc-chan can fight good and Poppa said girls are weak…"

Nodoka silently ground her teeth together as her son continued to try the logical discontinuity with the limited tools at his disposal. Her thumb began to caress the pommel of her katana ever so subtly. _And to think I had actually thought about taking Ranma back to the house!_ She missed Genma and this martial arts sojourn wasn't exactly a holiday, but the nerve of him! Nodoka took a deep breath and ran a delicate hand through her mane of chestnut red hair. _Not necessarily his fault_, she revised, calming herself down. _The perverted master of his. He corrupted my husband! But then, that's half of what makes him such a tiger in_…

Ranma's mother shook away the dreamy thoughts and steeled herself. No. She could make her son a man among men by herself. She had her family art and a good understanding of anything goes. Combined with Genma's secret techniques stashed safely away in her pack, there was no doubt she could do just as good if not a better job than her husband!

_But first thing's first…_

"Ranma," Nodoka kneeled down to his height on the sidewalk, gaining his undivided attention. "Girls are not weak. Different, but not weak."

"But…"

She shushed him. "I'm a girl. Am I weak?"

Ranma's eyes widened. "No way! But you're my Momma!"

Nodoka nodded knowingly. "But I'm also a girl. Ukyo's a girl too. Is she weak?"

"Uh-uh!" Ranma blurted as only a little boy could, then amended his answer. "Well, not as good as me…"

"Of course not." She agreed, continuing their walk to the dojo. "See? Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she's weak."

Ranma seemed to consider these facts momentarily before returning to his mother's side. "I _guess_ so."

The smile on his face was short lived, however, causing Nodoka further pause. "Now what is it, Son?"

The frown deepened. "That means I can't hit Ukyo now."

The Saotome matriarch now stared at the boy curiously. Surely he didn't still think… "And why is that?"

"Cuz she's a girl!"

Nodoka stared for a moment before sighing, shaking her head. _More of my husband's idiocy, no doubt._ In some ways, such chivalry was evidence that the old master hadn't corrupted her husband completely, but Ranma's full potential depended on knowing just who could and couldn't be hit, and some women wouldn't hesitate to use that fact against him. She returned her attention back to her despondent son and silently thanked God her misguided husband wasn't here to reinforce that belief.

Even so, she obviously had a lot of work to do.

* * *

"**S**trike!"

The small child drew the wooden blade from its scabbard in blurring arc while simultaneously taking two quick steps forward. The bamboo sword connected with its counterpart with a crack as his opponent's guard snapped up, blocking the thrust and parrying it off to the right. The taller opponent had clearly underestimated the child's tenacity and quickly found himself backing up to the edge of the dojo mat as the boy continued to ferociously pound his guard with technique well beyond his years. The practice blade came in for a straightforward attack and the older of the two set up to block and open the child's defenses. The two blades snapped together and the taller boy put all his force into the strike in order to overpower his guard only meet next to no resistance beyond the initial contact. He overstepped and the black haired boy profiled right, spinning three hundred and sixty degrees around. The maneuver took a split second and by the time the child returned to his original stance, the taller boy's back was completely exposed.

The final strike of the match came down in one fluid movement.

The elder boy felt the blade crack against his practice armor and froze as it did so, absolute shock washing through him. The boy couldn't have been more than five… six tops. He was ten. The match had lasted exactly how long he had expected it to last, just not in this outcome. The wooden blade was withdrawn from his back and drew back to his full height numbly, turned back to the boy and bowed. The child did the same and the dojo's chosen returned to the edge of the mat to sit.

Ranma Saotome, pulled off his face mask and returned the blade to it sheath, smiling expectantly at the adults before him.

"Outstanding progress." The graying master nodded, stroking the length of his long goatee. The aged swordsman turned to Nodoka. "Your child continues to amaze me Mrs. Saotome."

The redhead next to him smiled, inclining your head slightly. "Thank you master. Nobunaga."

"And don't think I didn't notice your hand in there as well." He scolded half heartedly. "Particularly that spin at the end."

"I've try and teach him what I remember of my school." She admitted. "Part of the reason we're here, of course."

"Of course." The Master nodded, then turned to the children. "Dismissed."

Ranma bowed to the master, as did several other children along the edge of the mat before filing out the sliding door. Once alone, the old man considered Nodoka further. "You were one of my most promising students, Nodoka. I have no doubt your child shares the same gift."

Nodoka's smile faded. There was both praise and pain mixed in those words. It had been tough bringing Ranma here, but it was needed. While she remembed parts of her school, her son needed more. He needed a master's hand if he was to wield the katana as a man above men and she simply couldn't provide that mastery. Maybe when she was sixteen… But not these days. Still, she could teach her son what she remembered… And maybe learn a new trick or two along the way herself.

"Are you sure you won't take me up on my offer?" Master Nobunaga continued, breaking into her reminiscence. "Gifted is actually an understatement. If you would allow him to stay…"

The redhead produced a knowing smile, but shook her head. "Unfortunately, we have a lot of ground to cover. Much as I would like to, we can only stay through the winter."

"Of course." The master acquiesced. It was the same answer he had received last time, and the last time before that. His former student was absolute set on the martial arts sojourn for her son and it was obvious that she still retained the determination of her teens.

"And about your compensation..."

The old master chuckled, stroking his graying goatee. "I would train your son for free, Nodoka Saotome, but I must admit, this supposedly invincible technique has me curious."

Nodoka nodded graciously with the compliment to her son's ability and pulled an aged booklet from the low cut of her yukata, invariable drawing the master's eyes to the woman's prominent cleavage. He unconsciously licked his suddenly dry lips, suddenly reminded that his former student and grown into quite the woman, one that apparently didn't mind showing it off. He may have been old, but he was still a man; nor was he blind. Her yukata did nothing to hide her generous curves.

If Nodoka noticed his attentions, she paid him no visible mind and handed him the leather bound tome. "You may change your mind once you see its content."

Nobunaga loosened the leather strip and flipped through the book, reading it. His eyes widened as he absorbed the content. "The Legendary Cat Fist! How did you-! Never mind! This work must date back to at least…" His aging eyes began to flick rapidly across its pages, turning the pages ever so delicately, then frowned as he made it midway through the technique's pages. "I see."

"Exactly," Nodoka agreed with the unspoken missive.

"I have heard of stranger methods," The sword master replied, "But the warning on the last page would not seem out of place. Obviously flawed. More than likely large portions of this technique were lost to history and replaced with_… that_."

"And the rest of it seemed quite coherent up to that point," Nodoka sighed then took on a scowl. "I had such high hopes for teaching it to Ranma, but I will _not_ wrap him from head to toe in fish sausage and toss him into a pit of starving cats."

"Nor would I," Nobunaga returned, flipping back through the pages. "Still, there is enough here to at very least build upon. If you would let me research this art further…?

"For as long as you need, Sensei." Nodoka smiled at the request. It wasn't even a question in her mind.

The old master nodded and tucked the booklet into his own brown-gray yukata, then turned to the rack of bokken at his back, pulling two at random. He smirked, handing one to his former pupil. "Now then, let's see what you remember from yesterday."

Nodoka took the sword and fell into her initial stance. Nobunaga did likewise.

"Strike!"

* * *

"**Y**ou very strange one, no?" The portly Chinese man walking ahead of them mentioned over his shoulder in crude Japanese. "This place very dangerous. Nobody use now."

Nodoka simply arched her eyebrow, then stared on ahead to their destination, a number of small pools shimmering in the sunlight. Each spring was marked by one or more bamboo poles jutting vertically from the water's surface to a height of nearly ten meters, creating the effect a sparse forest. The woman considered her guide's words and discarded them. The collection of water and sticks didn't exactly inspire her to superstitious fear, nor should they her son. "Are you prepared?"

Ranma smiled, adjusting the hiking pack and slung across his back. The overly large pack was nearly the size of the seven year old himself, but he bared the load like a man and piped, "Yep!"

The Chinese guide, on the other hand, frowned as his charges all but ignored him. He continued hastily, hoping to regain their attention, "Is more than one hundred spring here, each with own tragic legend!"

Little Ranma took his mother's lead and ignored the guide, shrugging his pack to the ground next to one of the pool's edges. He stared up at the pole-tops. "What should I do now, Mom?"

"Balance," She decided, having interpreted the function of the poles herself. It was, after all, the only thing she figured they could be used for and supposedly the place was a legendary training ground, according to her husband's scrolls. One obviously perfected their balance atop the poles. If they fell, the water would break their fall. "Which would you like to practice first? Hand to hand or katana?"

"Hand to hand!" The black haired boy grinned, leaping up upon one of the poles. He cleared the leap easily and found the pole tip, landing upon it with a slight wobble. Nodoka watched from the spring's edge as the boy's balance destabilized for a moment but recovered. She nodded her approval.

_Just like his father_, she glowed warmly inside. Ranma could handle a blade just as well as he could a punch, but give the child a choice and he was his fathers son, choosing hand to hand first each and every time.

"Ah! Young Sir! What are you doing?"

Both mother and son tuned the gibbering guided out. Satisfied that her son could handle the bamboo tops, Nodoka proceeded to the next step. "Rekki-ken kata, form one. Start slow to get a feel for the pole tops."

The seven year old nodded, wobbling a bit more upon the bamboo pole as his body took the initial pose. He stilled then hopped from his right foot to his left, thrust two powerful kicks into the air, landing shakily atop his perch. Each time the stalk swayed unpredictably, Nodoka felt a tiny pit in her stomach, but her son always managed to retain his balance.

_Punch, punch, punch, kick, punch, aerial roundhouse, switch legs…_ Ranma worked through the kata internally as he slowly built up to something better than the jerky pace he had been maintaining thus far_. Kick-kick- whoops!_ He lowered his center of gravity quickly as the bamboo pole he stood atop began to rock, stabilizing the motion after a few seconds. He righted himself and continued, smiling down at his mother. "This ain't so bad!"

Like the woman before him, the Jusenkyo Guide felt the pit in his stomach each time the child wobbled on his perch. Unlike the woman, the pit didn't go away once the boy stabilized. It persisted and there was a very simple reason why it persisted…

The Saotome boy was currently practicing over the Spring of Drowned Tiger.

It really was a tragic legend beginning about two thousand three hundred years ago, but that fact was quickly forgotten when the boy started to jump from pole to pole. Spring of drowned stork. Spring of drowned anaconda. Spring of drowned badger. The guide paled as his kata picked up speed and complexity, the boy finally settling over one in particular, deep inside the field of pools. The portly man's eyes widened.

"Mrs. Customer! Is very bad if fall in!" He urged, vying for her attention. "Boy in grave danger if loose balance over cursed spring!"

Nodoka Saotome shrugged, watching Ranma practice without turning to her hire. "Thank you for your concern, but my son shall be fine."

The Guide watched the drama play out for another few minutes as Ranma gained mastery over his art atop the bamboo. While not a martial artist himself, he could see the boy was growing used to his balance and increasing the complexity of his movement with it. The mother had noticed too, smiling to herself. She walked over to Ranma's vacant pack and untied the bokken strapped horizontally to the top. She tested the practice blade's balance on reflex with two quick swipes, then turned back to her son.

"Ranma!" The boy stopped his kata with a slight wobble, finding his mother near the edge of the training ground, bokken in hand. He knew what was coming next. "Now the sword!"

She hefted the sword easily and it arced across the training ground, over the bamboo tops and into Ranma's waiting grasp, imparting just enough force to cause the chute to sway. Normally the movement was well within the seven year old's ability to compensate for. After all, he was a martial artist. But the swaying continued and now Ranma's center of gravity was off as he juggled the wooden sword's balance as well. Nodoka winced as the stalk curved to and fro, assuring her there could only be one outcome.

"Wha-! Whaaa!—WAAAA!" Ranma flailed about, but to no avail as the pole's curvature became terminal, dumping him from the top and into the spring below.

_SPAloosh!_

"Ooh! That spring of Spring of Drowned Girl! Is very tragic tale of-" The Guide began, then gaped as Nodoka herself proceeded onto the cursed grounds, winding around the various springs to the one her son fell into. "What honored customer doing? Must hear warning! Is very very bad if you continue!"

Nodoka Saotome was, of course, completely oblivious to the guide's agitation as she walked briskly across the practice ground, glad that the springs had functioned as she thought they would. Her son was undoubtedly good, but it was bound to happen at some point and the water had indeed broken his fall. She had taught him to swim, so her concern was for the most part baseless, save the fact that she was the mother and he the son. She rounded another pool of water and closed on her son's spring. After all, it was her prerogative to worry over her only child.

She watched as her child broke the surface with a slight splash and—Nodoka blinked and halted abruptly just before the spring's edge.

"Ack!" Ranma complained, coughing up the water. "Tastes nasty!"

He shook his head of the excess water and pulled himself up onto the pool's bank. The child took a moment clean his left ear out with his pinkie before turning his attention to his mother. "Sorry 'bout that, Momma. Think I lost the-" He noticed his mother simply staring at him. "Uh, Mom?"

Nodoka blinked several times, then rubbed her eyes. Both actions failed to dispel what she was now seeing. This wasn't her son. If the red mop of wet red hair wasn't a dead give away, the delicate features of his-_her_ face were. This was a girl. _But… but…_ Ranma's mother wrestled with the fact that she had watched only one person fell into the spring- her son- but her son wasn't the child that crawled to shore. _But she talks like my son!_ A stray thought found its way to the forefront of the confusion in her mind. _Something about Spring of drowned…_Nodoka's eyes widened suddenly.

"You okay, Mom?"

Her cheek twitched as she made closer observations. The hair was hers; that lustrous red of her teens and childhood. So were her facial features. The blue eyes were from her husband. _But that's just not…_The girl picked herself up offer her knees, ignoring her soaked state. She was about an inch shorter. _Has a slimmer build_, Nodoka noted through the mounting incredulity.

"Mom?"

_Even her voice was…!_ Parts of Nodoka's brain began to kick out of service as the facts continued to pile against her. _And she's calling me mom! But she can't be!_ Nodoka stumbled backward away from the girl. _Need time to think… Need time to…_

_Spring of Drowned Girl._

Total realization slammed into Nodoka like a freight train. There was magic in the world. There were curses. This was her son. This was her… _daughter?_ It was entirely too much and Nodoka did the only reasonable thing a mother could do upon realizing her son had just been reshaped into a daughter.

She passed out.

* * *

"**M**om?"

Nodoka wallowed in subconscious dark, the last moments of her vision playing through her head. Ranma, she recognized, the black haired, blue eyed child floating before her minds eye. _Spring of Drowned girl…_ The words echoed across her psyche. Her child suddenly changed. His black hair shifted to bright red. He lost mass. Nodoka gasped as the transformation continued. The girl before her was still too young to bare all the hallmarks of her femininity, but the refined, delicate features were enough. "Ra… Ranma?"

"Mom?" The words echoed around her, the girl smiling at her now. "Momma?

"You're… You're…" Her Ranma was _a girl_! Nodoka's heart sank and imploded simultaneously._ Ranma couldn't be a girl! He was supposed to be a man among men! The best martial artist of his generation! He would carry on the Saotome bloodline! His father would advance him in the art! But she… !_

"Momma, wake up!"

Nodoka's eyes snapped open, finding a pair of intense blue eyes looking down at her with worry. Her recognition was immediate. Her son was kneeling over her. Not a girl, her boy. It had been a dream. A highly twisted dream. She sat up slowly and pulled her child into a hug. "Oh, thank God… I thought you… Never mind. It was all a dream."

"Um…"

The Saotome matriarch almost missed Ranma's suddenly skittish demeanor. Questions began to manifest themselves. _If that was a dream…_ She twisted around. She was in a small house. Calling it spartan was an insult to spartan houses everywhere as the predominant features beside the futon she currently sat upon was a rickety table, three simple wooden chairs and the guide she had hired, stoking a black pot belly furnace at the center of the room. "Where am I?"

"This one brought you to his residence to dry off." The guide nodded, turning away from the orange glow of the stove's coals to face her. "Is very very bad luck if fall in springs and get sick too!"

Nodoka noticed the dampness of her gi with his words, frowning. Things weren't making sense. She turned back to Ranma. "Son, what exactly happened?"

"Um, I fell off the pole and into the water," he began tepidly, looking quite uneasy. "When I got out, you looked like you had seen a ghost and fainted…"

"And…?" Nodoka prompted, knowing there was more.

"You fell backwards into one of the ponds." Ranma continued, clearly dreading his part in the story. "I ran to grab you but you were already in the water… And… And…! I'm sorry momma! I wasn't fast enough!"

The boy started to openly cry now and Nodoka took him into her arms on reflex. It was too odd. Ranma generally didn't cry. He was a man even as a boy, and men didn't cry… Well, unless it was really bad. She looked down at the sobbing boy who was apologizing to her between choked breaths. She glanced back at the guide, who wore a sad face.

"Tell me everything. Now."

The portly figure merely nodded. "Young customer practice over Nannichuan, Spring of Drown girl. Very tragic tale of young girl who drown one thousand-five hundred year ago. Whatever fall in now take body young girl."

Her son clung tighter with the words. This was no girl in her arms. She favored the guide with a malevolent look. "Explain. My son is _not_ a girl."

"Is curse, Mrs. Customer," The guide stepped over to the table were four mugs sat. He grabbed two. "Cold water activate curse, warm water reverse."

He prompted her to take the two cups of cold water. She declined with a glare, so he diverted them to the ground beside her. "He said I fell into a spring as well."

"Yes! Equally tragic tale of Spring of Drowned Kitsune, four thousand, eight hundred year ago!"

Nodoka blinked. "You can't be serious."

"No believe, check for self." The guided, shrugged. It wouldn't be the first or the last time somebody had disbelieved his claim, only to be shock by their first transformation.

Nodoka looked down to the water, then back up to the guide. Ranma had managed to pull back from his sobbing, but worry was still evident upon his face. She came to a decision. "Leave us."

It took a moment for her order to register, and when it did, he decided that discretion was the better part of valor and retreated to the doorway, closing it softly. Mother and son sat alone, staring at the cups.

"Was he telling the truth, Ranma?"

"I… I… " Ranma stuttered, faced with a situation few other seven year old boys had ever faced before. "You… fell in… and… There was a giant fox! I've never seen one so big! I was running to jump in but the guide was there, yelling that is was very bad! He got a bamboo pole and fished the fox out and poured cold water on… _you_."

Nodoka absorbed the information. Her son had just told her she effectively turned into a very large fox. She eyed the glasses of water once more. "And what he said about you?"

"I… My hair changes color…" He answered lowly, avoiding eye contact, "And… and…"

'And' went without saying. 'And' all but meant that it was a complete physical change. Nodoka took one of the clay mugs and poured it gently about Ranma. The boy shivered with the temperature, but stood fast. His features blurred and melted before her very eyes. The entire change lasted less than a fraction of a second, but it was Nodoka's eternity. Her son… Her only child… Had become a seven year old girl.

Nodoka stared. And stared. Ranma looked at the ground in shame. The mother pulled her gaze away from the girl that bore an unmistakable resemblance to herself and found the second cup of cold water. She grasped it, her hand trembling. Ranma had fallen into the Spring of Drowned girl. He had become a girl. She, on the other hand, had fallen into the Spring of Drowned Kitsune. Did that mean she would become…?

The woman held the cup over her head, earning her unlikely daughter's undivided attention. Water poured, drizzling around her hair and suddenly the world blurred. Her point of view shifted dramatically and suddenly the world shown with brilliant, vibrant color tinged with grey. She felt…

_Power._

Foreign energy coursed through her prompting her to mumble, "What's happening?" What actually came out from her throat was a series of growls. Her hearing was likewise acute as the cracking of wood fed the black stove at the room's center, snapping light thunder in her ears. Her son turned daughter's breathing was also clearly discernable, causing her to sight the wide eyed… girl.

"M…Mom?"

Nodoka nodded, hoping that simple movement was recognizable enough. Ranma reached out with a hand, curious… Nodoka felt the touch… through _fur_. _Oh, dear God, what have I become? _She twisted around to view more of her own body, find only dark orange fur. And legs. Four to be exact.

Ranma watched as the fox contorted to obtain a better view of itself, frowning. "Why couldn't I fall in a cool spring like yours?"

The fox's triangular head swung back upon Ranma with the comment, blinking. She really needed a better view of herself. Nodoka stood up- an amazingly natural action, a portion of her consciousness noted and walked to the door. "Rrrrrf. Rrrf."

Ranma looked at the fox curiously while Nodoka was silently annoyed that her vocal chords failed to emit anything beyond light growls. Regardless, her neo-daughter seemed to discern her intent and open the door into cool dusk evening. The fox padded outside, noting the guide absently smoking his pipe, waiting for events to sort themselves out. The creek of the door caught his attention and he watched the kitsune make for the edge of the springs with a redheaded girl in tow. The fox found the nearest pool and gazed into its own reflection, cocking its head from side to side in order to get a better.

Nodoka blinked and the fox in the reflection did likewise. Golden amber eyes stared back at her as she angled her head, studying the new body's features. She was the quintessential fox—orange-red fur, white highlights and a lean, agile form. Even the tail was—The mother's train of thought derailed abruptly.

Make that _three _tails.

It was a forceful reminder that she hadn't just become a very large fox. She had become a _kitsune_; A mystical animal known for its trickery and hedonism. _Genma is going to have fit over this…_ She mused, entranced by the reflection. It was an amusing thought until she remembered Ranma. She turned to the redheaded girl beside her, who was likewise staring at herself. Nodoka cringed. _My curse won't be the only thing Genma will have a fit over. _

The girl felt her mother's attention and turned to find the fox staring at her. The enraptured look on her face faded into a frown that she directed to the earth. "I'm sorry momma…"

"Rrrf." The fox growled, shook its head, then padded back to the hut. A damp and fully human Nodoka Saotome stepped out a couple minutes later, adjusting the black belt of her white gi. She walked back over to Ranma with a single mug in her hand, pouring its on the girl upon reaching her. The redhead instantly melted into a boy with the application of warm water, and Nodoka pulled her son into a hug, stoking his hair. "It's okay… It's not your fault… I shouldn't have… I didn't know…"

"But… I turn into a girl!" Ranma complained pitifully, "Girls can't be guys!"

Nodoka tightened her embrace reassuringly in lieu of answers. In truth, she had no answers; neither for herself or for her son. She turned into a giant magical fox. He turned into a girl. It was less of an issue for her, she suspected. Supremely inconvenient, but she was an adult. It could be dealt with. Ranma, on the other hand… he was a boy. She had guided him, raising him as a martial artist and a man among men. Now that expectation fell to a boy who turned into a girl… She continued to hug her son and half turned back to the watching guide.

"Is there a cure?"

"Is not, Mrs. Customer," The guide shook his head and took a final puff from his pipe, walking over. "All cures temporary, some longer than other."

Nodoka simply stared at the guide now. She wasn't looking at him now, but rather through him; through to what had become of their lives with this trip to the outback of China. She looked down at her son, who was looking up at her with questions in his eyes. Both of them were now cursed to turn into something else at the drop of a hat, and cold water was certainly more plentiful than its counterpart. While a temporary cure did sound attractive, she suspected it would only prolong the pain, teasing them with what might have been.

She turned back to the guide on impulse. "This has happened before?"

"Few visitors to Jusenkyo these days, but yes." His large head bobbled, prompting Nodoka's next question. He was their guide after all. They hadn't listened before and this is where it had gotten them. It was about time she started.

"What would you advise, at this point?" She asked, reaching out for direction. One thing she prided herself on was knowing her limits and knowing when she was beyond her depth. Gender and species shifting curses were well beyond that, and if the guide didn't have a clue…

"Honored customers lucky in this one's humble opinion." He returned, surprising Nodoka. "Mrs customer turn into magical creature, not small animal. Is very powerful. Son change into daughter, is still human. Much worse fates than these in Jusenkyo."

"So you're saying…"

"No fight curses," He replied, shaking heads. "Accept curses. Welcome curses. Is not curse then. Go insane otherwise. Have seen."

Nodoka considered the words. There was a certain amount of Zen to them. Karma. It wasn't an easy thing to accept, as his advice ran so very close to giving up. Her first instinct was to fight, especially when her son was a victim along side herself. But if what the guide said was true… She let go of her son and stepped back to her travel pack. The two practice swords had been lost in the pools, but her own katana remained, carefully wrapped and strapped vertically to the bag. She untied the straps and walked back to the lone boy.

There were so many conflicting thoughts echoing through her brain that she barely knew what she was doing herself as she stepped up to the boy who was watching her expectantly. Family honor demanded action in one way or another. She unsheathed the katana, exposing three inches of steel to open air and the slightest hint of paper within the scabbard. Nodoka pulled the paper out, unfolding it solemnly. "Do you know what this is, Ranma?"

The boy nodded with dread. Of course he did, though it was the last thing he wanted to see under the circumstances. It was The Contract.

"You realize you can no longer fulfill this?" She asked, sternly. Ranma produced a much smaller, silent nod. It was hard to be a man among men when you were curse to be a girl part time. "Are you prepared to accept my judgment?"

Ranma's timidness disappeared with the question. His seven year old intellect knew the contract and knew it well. If he failed to meet requirements, seppuku was the only recourse and he was a martial artist. The boy met his mother's eyes. "I am, Momma."

In that moment, Nodoka's heart swelled with pride. Even at seven years old, he was ready to lay his life down for his honor and the art. _This is _my_ son, a man among men even in his last moments._ "The contract cannot be fulfilled as you are."

Nodoka pulled the blade fully from the sheath, causing orange rays of light to flash off its deadly edge in the setting sun. Ranma lowered himself to his knees bowing his head. "Ranma."

The boy looked up to find the seemingly glowing blade overhead, his mother handling it and the contract. Her stern look faded into a loving smile, and she re-sheathed the blade. "Are girls weak, Ranma?"

Ranma blinked rapidly, trying to fathom the sudden turn of events. He had trained at more dojos than he could count and the answer to that particular question was beyond question. "N-No!"

Nodoka nodded. "You are half girl now, Ranma."

"I-!"

"Hush." Nodoka cut the protest down as quickly as it was voiced. "What is the first tenant of Anything Goes, son?"

"Adapt and improvise!"

"Very good," Nodoka approved, continuing. "You have a curse, just as I. Our guide says there is no cure. We must adapt and improvise accordingly."

"I… I guess…?" The boy returned, clearly confused. Nodoka could tell the conversation was rapidly moving above his seven year old grasp of the world and decided simplicity was in order. Still, she hesitated; questioning what she was about to do… It would forever change her son. In some ways, seppuku would be easier than the path she was choosing for her child.

_The path of a martial artist is fraught with peril…_

"The contract shall be amended," She stated, gaining the boy's undivided attention. "It states that you shall be man among men, a martial artist without peer, correct?"

Ranma nodded resolutely. "Yes, Momma!"

"If you were a girl, could you still be the best?"

"Of course!" Ranma blurted, not making the connection.

Nodoka make her intentions absolutely clear in that moment. "So be it. From this point forward, you shall strive to be a martial artist without peer, be it as man among men or a woman among women."

"Wha…? I don't...?" The proclamation caught the boy completely off guard, "I will?"

Nodoka turned to the guide in order to drive the point home. "He will be bare this curse to the end of his days, correct?"

Ranma stared as the guide nodded solemnly. "Is so, Mrs. Customer."

She turned back to Ranma to see if her meaning had sunk in and found Ranma staring wide eyed at the guide, then his mother. "Do you understand now?"

Gears were clearly churning behind the seven year old's eyes now, though the uncertainty remained. "I… I think so…"

"Good," Nodoka approved, "Being a woman among women is an art, just as being a man among men is. In order to fill the terms of the contract, you shall become both."

"Y-Yes, Momma."

Nodoka studied the uncertainty in her son's eyes, which was understandable. She had just told a seven year old boy that he would be practicing diligently to be a seven year old girl, something completely contrary to everything he had been taught to this point. She was certain he would adapt, but… _Not to mention I'm taking liberties with the clan's honor_, Nodoka grimaced to herself, looking upon the boy. He was the last of the line, and God only knew what affect her course of action today would have on the boy… Still, she couldn't bring herself to draw her own son's blood. It was either that, or…

_No going back_, she decided. It was either work with their fates or watch it drag them both down. _Or seppuku for them both_, she revised mentally. Her course became clear in that moment.

"Guide, I'll need another cup of cold water." The overweight man left to fulfill the request and Nodoka eyed her son. He returned a moment later and handed it to her, whereupon she poured it out over Ranma's head herself. His hair instantly took on its bright red contrast, his features softening.

"We have seven years of catching up to do…. _Daughter_."

* * *

**Author's notes:** This has been an on again, off again project of mine for quite some while, mainly due to the fact that I generally don't have the patience to write divergence from day one fics. Still there was enough fun and randomness here that the idea just wouldn't let go, and after working some things out, decided it was time to go live. So live, that I'm already 2.7kw into Ch2 (undoubtedly out of date if you catch this chapter more than a week out). I hope it pesters you as incessantly as it did me :D

**Nodoka;** _Little information exists on just what the characters were like back in their younger years. At best, we get the briefest of flashes, hardly enough to cover a full character's personality in depth. Since this fic is more Nodoka-centric than the series, I've had to extrapolate- _heavily_ –soley based on her canon personality. _

_In canon, she has little redeeming value as a parent aside from loving her son within the confines of her rigid moral structure. Genma may have brought up the training trip in the books, but she fully signed off on it and the condition of seppuku. Worse, she fully considers a two year old stamping the contract not only fully binding, but proof that he had complete awareness of the pact as well. She is also fully prepared to carry out this pledge when she returns to the Tendos later. Also taken into consideration is the fact that she would encourage Ranma to peep on other women despite the Tendo-Saotome engagement, and likewise cares little if other women are chasing him or not._

_Given these facts, I have created her younger self as being bound by her family honor, but somewhat uninhibited. Given that she is the one that has Ranma, she is the one forced to confront killing her own child early on, not having it as a decade old stagnating fantasy through her husband's abandonment. I'll readily admit taking liberties her as our only view of Nodoka that early is thumping of Genma on the head._

_In terms of skill levels, I'm again guilty of taking liberties with her, giving her at least some skill with a sword and some abilities in hand to hand while attempting to provide a reasonable explanation as to why they had deteriorated to the state we find in canon; That being being lethally clumsy at times. That said, I find there is enough ambiguity in terms of her skill with a blade to justify crediting Nodoka with at least some formal training…Only lightning reflexes keeps Ranma alive when Nodoka mistakes him for a pervert in the Tendo household. Credit to NDF for keeping me honest in this section and causing me to shore up reasoning as to why she has any skill whatsoever._

**Nodoka no Kitsune;** _I have Akuma to thank for this idea while trying to flesh out just what curse Nodoka should be afflicted with. As soon as he mentioned a kitsune, there was no going back. As far as justification goes, if you can create an Ashura from Jusenkyo by dunking a stone statue into a spring, I can dunk whatever the damn well I want :p_

**Ranma;** _Given the fact that it is Nodoka that has taken him on the trip, it should go without saying that we'll be dealing with a shift in personality. First, he is being raised by his mother with the personality detailed within this chapter. Second, his experiences won't be the same, altering his personality and abilities further. Some of it will be for the better, some to his detriment. All in all, I believe Ranma's core abilities in this work will remain more or less the same at the equivalent point in canon. A very large portion of Genma's training appeared to be moving from place to place, absorbing the knowledge, then moving on. This doesn't require a martial arts master to accomplish, especially if one allowed the masters in said area to do the teaching. Likewise, I consider a majority of Ranma's ability attributed to his own innate genius. There will obviously be trade-offs, however, as we know Genma added his own flavor of training to the mix. For example, Ranma's endurance won't be absolutely insane as I highly doubt Nodoka is going to do things, like, I dunno… Swim the Sea of Japan? Given this, there will be give and take concerning Ranma's ability in other areas as well._

_On the other front will be Ranma's core personality. Keep in mind he will be raised by the person described in this chapter. In canon, this woman actively encourages Ranma to peep on other women in spite of the Saotome/Tendo pact, with vague expectations of manliness. At best, she is hoping to encourage his masculinity (again, completely disregarding any pacts made by the men and Akane's feelings). At worst, she is projecting part of herself and upbringing upon Ranma, in turn leading to my interpretation of her pre-canon character. Of course, both are completely baseless given that we have no history concerning her. Regardless, her character will definitely affect Ranma for the course of this work, thus the warning at the top of the chapter. _

_Finally, this is not a Ranma-chan fic. Or a Ranma fic. Rather, it is both; thus the title. Enjoy._

_Special Thanks; Ami, Dustin, Philip and Charles._

* * *

**Chaotic Neutral**  
Chapter 2

_By Ozzallos_

"So what's wrong with boys?" Ranma quirked an eyebrow as Akane wiped the sweat from her brow, cooling down from her own exihbition. The dark haired girl grimaced, driving her partner's curiosity further.

"They're all so… so…Ahhhhaaggh!" Akane growled in frustration, then took deep breaths, calming down enough to explain. "They're all perverts! Every single morning they line up at the gates to challenge me for a date. Upperclassman Kuno is the worst of the lot! Poetry spouting idiot."

Ranma boggled. "You have all these guys looking to date you and you're complaining?"

Akane blinked, never having it put in perspective before. That was normally overshadowed by the fact that they were looking to defeat her in armed combat.  
"Well, I mean… I guess, but they try to fight me every day for right to date me!"

"I take it you're undefeated?" Ranma observed, sliding the door open to expose what was now shaping up to be a beautiful partly cloudy afternoon.

"Right." Akane confirmed with a fierce nod. "I beat all of them… Even Kuno… but they just keep doing it!"

"So go out with them." The redhead shrugged, causing Akane to boggle at the sheer notion.

"Are you kidding?" She stared incredulously. "Even if there was one I liked, he'd get beat up by all the others."

Ranma took the lead back to the house and smiled back over her shoulder. There was no mistaking the mischievous look twinkling in her blue eyes. "Who said anything about one?"

Akane stopped short, unsure she heard the girl correctly. "But… that's… I mean…"

Ranma kept walking and Akane sprang forward to keep up, staring incredulously as she continued, "I mean, I know I would. How many guys did you say were throwing themselves at you?"

"About thirty…" Akane's voice suddenly dropped to a timid shadow of its former indignation. Even she realized how ridiculous it all sounded when put in that light.

The redhead reached for the house door with a smile on her face, never looking back. "Then you won't notice a few missing."

Ranma stepped leaving the blinking girl trailing behind, slightly stunned. _Missing a few…? She couldn't possibly mean…?_

The daughter of Nodoka Saotome walked into the living room and all turned to her, Akane following close behind. Conversation ceased abruptly. Ranma looked from one adult to the other, then the two sisters, then back to her mother, who wore her own neutral expression.

Akane looked around curiously at the unnatural silence, then turned to Ranma. "Um, what's going on?"

"She told them." The red head smirked, motioning to her mother who smiled. "So did they believe you?"

"They do," She nodded. The cup in hand didn't go unnoticed either. "But it would be more helpful if they had a more… practical demonstration."

Ranma chuckled. It was a private joke amongst them; that being a girl turning into a boy being more practical than a woman turning into a kitsune. She leaned back to Akane. "Want to see something neat?"

The girl barely nodded, fairly certain that Ranma's definition of 'neat' combined with the air of anticipation in the room wouldn't exactly match her own. That, and the curiosity radiating from her parents and sisters was completely eerie. They knew something. Something she didn't.

Ranma smiled and walked back over to the corner of the room, picking up her large pack. "Just bought the top and don't want to ruin it," she quipped, jabbing a thumb and the fine pink silk encasing her bosom. "Where's the restroom?"

"Down the hall." Ayame Tendo motioned and Ranma was gone around the living room corner.

"What the heck is going on?" Akane hissed as soon as the girl was out of sight. her sisters were on the edges of there seats, obviously waiting for her new friend to return, while her parents waited next to Ranma's parents, and uncertain look about their faces. Uncle Genma was unusually serious looking while Nodoka simply waited…

…for _what?_

Her answer didn't exactly present itself as Ranma stepped back into the room wearing a classic white karate gi that was obviously a couple sizes too large for her. It was a sharp contrast to the overtly suggestive wear she had just worn, producing instead an insufferably cute redheaded girl in oversized clothing. She winked as she walked by, taking the cup of warm water from her mother's hand, then paused, pursuing her audience.

"Watch closely."

Akane watched, as did the rest of her family. Ranma turned the cup over her head and the girl was instantly replaced by a boy of medium height, excellent build, black hair and blue eyes. He filled out the gi perfectly as the girl simply melted away… _Into_ him, Akane gasped, her shock quickly following kasumi's own sharp intake of breath. The youngest tendo stumbled backwards a step.

"What—What the hell?"

It took Ayami Tendo to snap out of her own shock, but when she did a second later, she fixed her daughter with a stern look. "Akane, your manners."

The girl's was gibbering now, "Butbutbut…"

To her credit her sisters were just as shocked, just less vocal on the subject. Ayami pulled Akane over to her, explaining, "Ranma and his mother have a curse. For your Aunt Nodoka, cold water turns her into a kitsune, warm back to a woman. For Ranma…"

"Hot water guy, cold, girl." Ranma smirked, clearly enjoying the disbelief his condition generated. "Besides, I wouldn't exactly call it a curse, anyway."

Thoughts and emotion were jumbled within Akane's brain now. The girl she had befriended was actually a boy! And she had talked about… _Ewww! He-!_ Of all the thoughts rolling around within her conflicted psyche, one surfaced above the rest.

Betrayal.

_"You!"_ The boy blinked with the accusation. "You said you were a girl!"

"I was." Ranma replied simply, earning more of the Tendo's ire.

"But you're a boy!" Akane snapped back. "You lied to me!"

"No I didn't." An annoyed expression crossed Ranma's face now. It wasn't a hard concept to grasp. "I was a girl, now I'm a—ACK!"

"BOY!" The martial artist was instantly enveloped within his father's bear hug, which all but squeezed the life out of its target. Ranma gasped for breath as Genma continued to throttle him. "You're home!"

"G-Good to…see you to… father…" Ranma struggled for breath for another few moments before Genma thrust his son out before him, scrutinizing his boy.

"A fine young man he's grown into, eh Tendo?" Genma suffused and Soun nodded with the comment, if only to humor his friend who was conveniently overlooking the fact that his son turned into a daughter. Genma turned back to his son. "Don't worry, boy. We'll get rid of that girly curse before you know it!"

Ranma simply arched an eyebrow, looking back to his mother. "You told him…?"

"…That there was no cure. Yes, son," Nodoka nodded. Ranma shrugged, returning to Genma, who was frowning.

"Like she said." Ranma affected nonchalance. "Besides—"

"We'll find a cure." Genma stated in no uncertain terms. "We'll correct your _mother's_ mistake and man you up in no time!"

"Genma…" Nodoka growled a warning, only to be interrupted by Ranma directly.

"I happen to _like_ her mistake, father." Ranma's tone took on a measure of frost as he challenged his father's assertion, stepping back.

"Don't take that tone with me," Genma threatened. "I'm your father and I demand you stop this nonsense. You're a man, not girl."

The Tendos and Nodoka watched as the pair faced off, neither backing down from the challenge. Ranma snorted. "Make it happen then, old man."

Genma glared. "Outside, where I can show your girlie ass a thing or two."

Ranma's gaze narrowed sharply and his frosty demeanor turned to full ice. "Just for that, I'm going to kick your butt with that girlie ass."

Ranma found the last glass of room temperature water on the table and splashed himself with it. The boy melted back into a girl and the gi instantly slackened around every curve of her frame except her ample, braless chest. She pulled pulled the gi tight, tying the belt up while glaring at her father. She turned away with a 'hmmf', sliding the back door open forcefully and disappearing outside. Genma stood stunned for a moment then took on his own angry expression, stomping out after the girl. Ayumi and the others looked after the pair, then back to Nodoka who wore an impish smile.

"Aren't you going to stop them?" Kasumi asked and watched Nodoka simply shake her head.

"Far be it for me to get in the way of father-son bonding," She chortled, following the pair outside. "Besides, Genma's about to find out Ranma is a man in every way that matters."

The Tendos digested the gender misplaced comment and quickly followed Nodoka out into the yard where father and daughter were already facing off.

"Last chance to back out, girl." Genma stated in an insufferably arrogant tone.

Ranma put her hands on her hips, supremely calm. "Let's see what you got. What are the rules?"

Genma simply rolled his eyes. "What part of 'Anything Goes' don't you understand?"

"If that's the way—" Ranma almost lost the match right then and there as Genma slid forward at a speed the belied his mass, pushing an blurring palm into the redheaded girl. She profiled right at the last possible moment and the hand caught air. The Saotome patriarch followed the attack in hard, rounding the punch off with and elbow that should have caught her face… only to watch Ranma bend backwards to nearly ninety degrees and flipped backwards, cart wheeling lazily out the attack. It was a move clearly designed to patronize, and Genma recovered scowling.

"Come on, girl," He sneered, "Didn't No-chan teach you to hit back?"

Ranma's laughter took on a clearly feminine lilt. "Of course she did, father. When you give me something to hit back at, I will."

Genma stepped back in and this time Ranma opted to engage, dodging and weaving through her father's attacks. The elder Saotome feignted through a punch combination and Ranma was forced to block for the first time, deflecting the snap-kick that came out of nowhere. Genma capitalized on the deflected momentum, launching into an aerial roundhouse that the redhead had to actually block in order to avoid taking the blow on her chin. The inertia caused her to slide back nearly five meters, her arm throbbing.

_Old man hits hard_, Ranma noted as Genma smirked back at her. _Surprisingly fast too…_ Ranma returned the smirk herself. _But I've seen faster. _She acknowledged the hit with a nod. "My turn, then."

Genma knew fast. He and Soun had been students of the master, after all. This girl… His _son_, was _lightning_. The red blur streaked in and around her father's preemptive strike, found is outstretched arm, reversed the joint and threw him to the Earth with a classic Judo throw. It was an easy move to roll out of and Genma did so with the fluidity of water, but the point had been driven home—there was more to the boy to simple dodging. Genma hopped up from his tumble and reengaged, fully intent on testing the width and breadth of his child's abilities.

He began to run the girl before him through the gamut of his technique, stepping through schools of combat one after another to better guage his offspring's own talent. Over all, he was impressed as the girl evaded a majority of his combinations and efficiently, blocked or diverted what she had to. Genma began to feel a sliver of pride worm its way through the loathing and confusion his son slash daughter produced. Tendo's daughters were good –hell, he'd help train them –but none of them could compete at the level he was pushing the girl before him at.

Ten mintues later and a dozen arts later Ranma was feeling the strain. Her father was pushing and pushing hard, _just like the old ghoul_, she mused ruefully and another punch forced a full on block out of her. She winced with the impact and attempted pulverize his gut with a three kick combination. Two were deflected outright and the third connected, albeit off target.

The elder Saotome hopped back out of range of any follow on she could bring to bear, smirking. "Getting tired, boy?"

"Girl, old man." She retorted, trying her best to look collected. In truth, she was feeling it, bruised and winded. She knew she had gotten her own shots in, but he was _good_. Not as fast as the old ghoul, but the hits he landed were solid ones, and just as she thought she could pin him down, he slipped into another school seamlessly.

Traditionally, that was her bread and butter, but her opponent performed the transitions like it was second nature. Normally the fact that her opponent was better at her own art than she was would annoy except this was her father and her father was one of the founders of that art. A small amount of pride welled up in her, chasing the fatigue away. He was testing her and she'd be damned if she was found lacking after all this time.

"Don't tell me that is all you have, father?"

Genma snorted. Not that he would ever admit it, but his wife hadn't done a half bad job. The child could at least keep up. Now it was time to see how she… HE handled something more advanced. "Try this, BOY."

Genma wavered suddenly and faded from sight, eliciting gasps from the watching family. The man had just up and vanished before their eyes, leaving the girl seemingly alone on the field of battle. Everybody watched with anticipation, except for Nodoka.

"The Umi Sen Ken," She supplied, earning the Tendo's undivided attention. "One of two schools developed by my husband. As its name implies, it relies on stealth, obscuring the user from most forms of detection…"

"A-Amazing!" Soun Tendo gasped, scanning the dueling grounds of their yard for any trace of the man.

"I would have never guessed…" Ayumi likewise stared, but kept the rest of her thoughts to herself out of deference to her friend. …_would have never guess that somebody as lazy as 'uncle' Genma could develop such an amazing technique_.

"I told you he was holding out on us!" Akane blurted suddenly. Kasumi simply nodded and nabiki shrugged at what was a perfectly obvious statement to her. They watched as the redhead before them simply crooked a smile and closed her eyes, bowing her head. "What's she doing?"

"Concentrating, unless I missed my guess…" Nabiki watched curiously as the girl failed to ready herself for what was undoubtably a surprise attack in the making. She wasn't disappointed.

Genma reappeared suddenly behind Ranma, leaping in and arm poised high for attack along the redhead's unguarded back when her eyes suddenly popped open. The girl ducked low and her father sailed overhead and their gazes met in that single split second. The balding martial artist realized his error in the that moment and began to tuck into a roll, but it was too late… The girl cocked her own fist her left arm blurred. Its contact with his gut lasted less than two seconds, but the affect was readily apparent, forcing him another foot into the air while inertia carried him past Ranma. The Saotome elder careened into the ground, tumbling painfully for a few moments before righting the slide. His face emoted nothing but shock as the girl grinned back at him.

"Did I mention we taught Ranma the Umi Sen Ken?" Nodoka asked rhetorically and with a small smile.

The fact that Ranma knew the Umi Sen Ken wasn't so much of a surprise to genma. He'd fumed for weeks once he found out just how much the woman had taken from that fateful night. Genma stared at the girl before him, briefly wondering if his original plan to depart during the daylight hours would have been better before returning to the matter at at hand. No, what had really surpised him was the fact that the girl had detected him through the cloak. Not simply that, but the his gut felt like a steel beam had been shoved through he was certain that she had only punched him once.

* * *

_**Author's Notes:** __Ah yes, the dreaded decommissioned flag. Need I say it again? Too many fics and not enough time to write them all. Call this pruning. Yes, feel free to continue this if you want._ Sorry about the alerts, this is all spring cleaning and I can't turn them off.  



	28. Age of Titans

**Foreword: **Sorry about the alerts. Shuffling stuff around for spring cleaning.**  
**

**Age of Titans**  
_By Ozzallos_

* * *

******_Prologue_**

* * *

**F**uruhata Motoki stared at the charred rubble surrounding him, the remnants of what was left of the establishment once known as the Crown Arcade. He shook his head with a sigh, picking up yet another destroyed piece of furniture. This one appeared to be a chair. Maybe. If it weren't so blackened and warped from exposure to high temperatures, he'd have been able to tell for certain. Didn't matter anymore, he thought, tossing it into the box where similar other discards now resided. Regardless of what it had been, it was junk now.

Whatever else could be said about the Senshi and their anti-Youma activities, they were certainly thorough. Sure, it probably wasn't their fault that the demon had chosen to attack right outside the Crown, but the collateral damage the Senshi's battle had created was quite… extensive. So extensive that the place probably wouldn't be able to open for months. Half the front wall was gone, most of the furnishings gutted and a good portion of the arcade demolished. Furuhata swept another pile of glass and brimstone into a waiting dustpan. All in all, it was amazing that they hadn't gone out of business _years_ ago.

It was also damn miracle he even still had a job.

The crackle of rubble buckling beneath an anonymous foot caught his attention, causing the blond to turn around while wondering just who would visit the arcade in its current state. Furuhata's eyes widened as they fell upon his visitor. "Oh, hi boss!"

A diminutive four foot, eleven inch redhead picked through the maze of rubble, studying the damage with a neutral expression. She flicked her errant ponytail back over her shoulder as she stepped around the remains of a shattered table. "Didn't leave much, did they, Furu-kun?"

Mokoti nodded. "I would have stopped them, but getting between a pack of youma and the Senshi didn't seem like a good idea, Ms. Saotome."

The redhead smoothed out her tan slacks after stepping over another pile of rubble that had one been part of the ceiling. She smiled slightly at the young man's dry humor. "Good call. What are we looking at here?"

"Not much left." He shrugged. "We're lucky the water is still running. Finding a place to drink it, on the other hand…"

"Think I get the idea." The woman bent over, picking up a mangled picture frame. The picture therein was little more than carbonized cinders. "Damn, and I liked this one too…"

"Took out most of the east wall." Furuhata added sullenly. "I don't see us opening back up any time soon." He picked up another piece of the trashed arcade and tossed it half-heartedly into the bin. "I'm really sorry about this, Ms. Saotome."

"Don't worry about that, Furu-kun." His employer waved away his self-admonishing tone. "Stuff like this happens. Not your fault."

On one hand the blond was relieved that his boss wasn't about to bite his head off for something totally out of his control, though he should have been used to her calm demeanor after five years under her employment. She simply didn't get mad, as if the very act were contrary to her soothing nature. And God only knew why she was still single, for that matter. The twenty-six year old redhead was absolutely stunning enough to make nearly any man look twice, yet she didn't go out of her way to flaunt it. On the other hand, she was almost _too_ calm. Surreally so. Things like youma attacks and Senshi hopping around Juuban simply didn't faze her. He'd almost accuse her of being the oblivious sort if not for the fact that she was running a successful business and he had seen her intelligence in action first hand.

"So…" He began tentatively as she surveyed the ruin. "Who do we call first, the insurance companies or the contractors?"

His boss seemed to think about it for a moment, then reached into her powder blue sports jacket. "General contractors will take too long." She replied, pulling a business card from the breast pocket. "We need a specialist. Call her. She'll know what to do."

Furuhata Motoki took the card with some measure of curiosity. Exactly who would help them clean up after a battle between the Sailor Senshi and otherworldly demonic forces in an expedient manner? He studied the card and the gold leaf name printed on it.

"Nabiki Tendo?"

* * *

**Age of Titans**  
By _Ozzallos_  
Editor_- Quizer  
_Backup_- Yarrow, DCG _

* * *

******Chapter One**

* * *

_The Path Taken,_  
_ Regret not._  
_ Forward._  
_ Moving Time._

"**H**i, Miss Saotome!"

The redhead behind the counter turned away from her conversation to the chorus of greetings that accompanied the door chime of the Crown, and couldn't help but to smile. Not only was it good to see business pick back up after the rebuilding of the arcade, but it was nice to see the familiar faces as well. Especially these familiar faces. "Hello girls, nice to see you again. Be with you in a moment!"

Ranma turned back to Nabiki Tendo, who was peering over her shoulder at the girls in question, then returned to the redhead before her. "They wouldn't happen to be…?"

The owner of the crown arcade nodded with a peaceful smile, her eyes full of mischief. "Yes. That's them."

The middle Tendo's own eyes began to glitter with avarice. "Are you sure they don't need…?"

She was cut off with the simple shake of Ranma's head. "Not yet."

Nabiki let a labored sigh escape her lips. "You tempt me, Saotome. You _sorely _tempt me."

An amused chuckle burbled from the Saotome. "I know you better than that, Nabiki-chan. Now if you're done stalking my regulars, let's talk about your payment."

"Really, now." The sister offered dryly. "And I thought you knew me better than that."

It was Ranma's turn to sigh now, and she took the moment to put a single finger to her lips thoughtfully. The moment passed and she pulled a small pocket book from beneath the counter top. "Don't make this difficult, Na-chan."

"It's a simple concept, Ranma-kun." Nabiki admonished with mock sternness. "Your money is no good to me."

Ranma's grip on the pocket book wavered slightly as if mirroring her exasperation on a well tread subject. "I'll not be a freeloader, Nabiki."

The Tendo rolled her eyes. "Haven't we beat this horse into the ground enough, Ranma?"

"Call it a point of principle." The redhead replied. "You render a service, I pay. Simple."

Nabiki began to rub her left temple, as if an excruciating pain were running along it. "Alright, if you want to pay for services rendered, have dinner with us."

"How about Suko's?" Ranma smiled pleasantly. "They have an excellent—"

"At the dojo."

The smile dropped off Ranma's face immediately in favor of a neutral expression. "I'm not so sure…"

"You wanted to pay so badly, that's the deal." Nabiki's grin was almost feral in nature. "See you around seven, Thursday?"

Ranma simply dealt her the neutral stare that served to communicate her displeasure. "You're not going to let me out of this are you?"

"Nope." The woman formerly known as Furinkan's Ice Queen shrugged. "Besides, what fun are buttons if you can't push them every now and then?"

"I can't say I'm thrilled." Ranma managed, tugging at the sleeve of her beige petticoat. "Are you sure you won't accept double?"

The smile she received crushed all hope of getting out of the dinner. "Not a chance."

"Fine." Ranma hung her head in defeat. "Just make sure—"

"I can't believe you did it, Miss Saotome!" Ranma turned back to the counter to find a blond haired, blue eyed girl in odangos and a school uniform staring at the interior of the Crown with wide eyes. She was flanked by two friends; another blonde teen and one with cobalt blue hair. "I thought the Arcade was gone for sure!"

"And rebuilt in only a week…" The shorter haired girl commented with nearly the same amount of incredulity in her voice.

Ranma's smile widened with pride. "Thank you girls. I owe that feat to one of my best friends, Nabiki."

"You _sorely _tempt me, Saotome." She grumbled before putting on her own smile. "Very nice to meet you…?"

"This is Usagi, Ami and Minako." Ranma made introductions, and the girls made slight bows as she ticked off the names. Then she winked conspiratorially at Nabiki. "They very nearly keep me in business all by themselves, especially Usagi-chan."

Usagi's friends smirked and filed the proprietors comments under the 'sad but true category' while Usagi turned a light shade of pink. Nabiki smirked as well, but for an entirely different reason.

"I wouldn't let it worry you too much." Nabiki began. "Ranma used to keep several local ice cream shops in business back in the day. That is when she wasn't trying to use her good looks to get free food."

"With that figure?" Minako stared in disbelief.

Ranma inclined her head modestly and Nabiki's audience couldn't help but to smile. Ami shook her head. "If I had your looks, I'd be raking in free food left and right too."

"Now, now." Ranma waggled her finger. "Let's not harass the hostess. Besides, torment her too much and my three favorite customers won't get their ice cream on the house."

"Ah, the joys of bribery." Nabiki commented as Usagi's blue eyes lit up. Likewise, her friends attention had been captured in its entirety.

"Not at all." Ranma wave the sarcasm aside politely. "Call it a 'welcome back' special."

"Hmmf." The Tendo snorted, clearly amused before turning to other topics. "Anyway, I have an appointment at four, so I'll be taking my leave. Remember, dinner."

Ranma resigned herself to her fate. "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't let me forget."

Nabiki made her way to the doorway, opening it with a light chime. "Of course not. Ja-ne."

Ranma waited until her friend disappeared from sight before turning back to the waiting girls, flipping her long red ponytail back behind her back in the process. She folded her arms and scrutinized her patrons. "Now where there's one of you, there are usually more."

Usagi nodded, blonde streamers of hair bouncing in the process. "Makoto and Rei will be along in a few. Maybe—"

"You saved it!" Minako blurted, and ran across the room to an arcade cabinet, beaming with delight. "I didn't think…!"

"You didn't think I'd open without the most played game in the place, did you?" Ranma smiled kindly at the other blonde, who was enthusiastically inspecting the Sailor V arcade machine.

"So how was your business trip, Miss Saotome?" Ami asked, curiously. It was a well known fact that the owner of the Crown Arcade was well traveled, often having to leave Furuhata in charge to tend the shop. It was also a fact that intrigued the blue haired girl to no end. After all, the furthest from home she had been was, well, Okinawa. Exciting stuff. That, and she always brought back the _coolest_ stuff. "Calcutta, this time?"

"For Love and Justice, fiend!" Ranma arched an eyebrow, watching Minako give the new arcade game a fierce working over. Her battle cry was awarded by several crunching sounds as a twelve hit combo laid her digital opponent low.

"Mmmhmm." Ranma nodded. "All business mostly. Humidity was absolutely horrid, but I did find myself in the most interesting shop during on some of my free time…" She let the pair hang hopefully on her words for a moment before continuing with a wink. "But we'll save that for later. Right now, I believe there's a bowl of chocolate-pistachio ice cream with your name on it, Sa-chan. Rocky road, Ami?"

"Oh, yes, definitely." Ami shook her head vigorously while Usagi was practically salivating at the prospect.

"Minako, Usagi's going to get your Strawberry sherbet if you don't—" No sooner had the words left her lips than the blonde practically teleported over to the trio, taking her seat in front of the windowed glass cooler from which Ranma was scooping. "So how has school been treating you since I've been away?"

"Finals suck." Minako spat, but quickly soothed herself with a bite of sherbet from the bowl the redhead had pushed in her direction. "Sa-chan fell asleep in class again."

"HEY!"

"Says you." Ami retorted. "Finals are downright relaxing after some of the yo-, uh… _extra-curricular _ activities we do."

Both blondes to either nearly choked on their own desserts over the verbal stumble, staring at a Ami who steadfastly refused to make eye contact with anything, let alone the twenty-seven year old shop owner in front of her. Ranma Saotome savored the moment silently, then put on her best vacant smile. "Oh my…You girls are so active in your after school clubs."

Kasumi would have been proud.

Even as the trio sighed in relief at having dodged a bullet, Ranma smiled inwardly, idly wondering if she could induce a heart attack by admitting aloud to knowing that the girls sitting in front were none other than Sailors Moon, Mercury and Venus. And they did try _so_ hard to keep their identities a secret, too, she thought with amusement.

_Ding-ding!_

"See, I told you it was open!" Rei exclaimed, pulling her taller counterpart through the front entrance.

"Ow! Okay, okay! I see!" Makoto complained, snatching her arm back.

"I see pecan praline and vanilla caramel have arrived." Ranma grinned at the pair also known as Sailors Mars and Jupiter. "Pull up a stool, you two."

"Hi Miss Saotome!" Makoto piped enthusiastically. "Wow! I thought that last youma took the Crown out for sure!"

"Takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'" Minako grinned.

"Not for lack of trying, though." Ranma nodded. "The Senshi play rough with their demon toys. I should have Nabiki send _them_ the repair bill, you know."

The red head pretended not to notice the sudden paleness of their faces.

"Eh heh… heeheheh…" Usagi chuckled nervously. "But don't the pretty magical girl soldiers of love and justice protect people from evil and villainy?"

"Of course, of course." Ranma waved aside the comment. "Besides, I've seen places come back from worse." …_And I'll be going to one of them for dinner Thursday_, she appended mentally, none to thrilled at the prospect. "No big deal, really."

Tension quickly drained from the girls around her, and she further lightened the atmosphere by pushing Sailor Pralines and Sailor Caramel their respective flavors of ice cream, who were themselves delighted that it was on the house. The girls began their conversation in earnest and Ranma was invariably drawn away by other customers, only to be drawn back into it minutes later.

"So, Ami, did you ask him out?" Minako leaned toward the girl with a conspiratorial smile plastered across her face. The question instantly converged the girl's many splintered conversations onto one focused topic. Ami shuffled uncomfortably under her friends combined gaze.

"Look, I'm just not ready take that step yet." She replied, her voice quavering slightly. "Besides, I don't even know if he likes me."

"Chicken." Rei commented between spoonfuls of ice cream. "It's easy. Just walk up to him and ask him out."

Ami favored her friend with a dry look. "And that's obviously worked oh-so-well for you."

"Hey!"

"Maybe you should ask somebody with more experience." Usagi inserted, glancing down the counter to the Arcade's proprietor. "I mean look at Miss Saotome. She's beautiful! If she doesn't know how to pick up a guy, _nobody_ does."

Makoto let her spoon hand in her mouth for a moment, analyzing her friend's suggestion. "You know, Ami, meatball head might just be right this time around. She's totally hot, for lack of a better word. I'd be surprised if she doesn't get her pick of guys."

Ami poked at her own bowl pensively. "I don't know…"

"Come on, she helps us out all the time." Minako added, nudging the dark haired girl. "She won't mind giving you pointers on how to nab Shiro-kun. Miss Saotomeeeee!"

Ranma's attention was drawn from her idle chatter with another patron and back to the girls. She drifted back over to their group with a peaceful smile that was all but guaranteed to put anybody at ease. "What can I do for you girls?"

Minako grinned broadly, jabbing her thumb into her friend. "Ami has a question for you."

"Umm… Uh…" The gentle curiosity radiating from Ranma's crystal blue eyes all but drew the words from Ami. "I, um… Need help picking up a guy."

The redhead blinked, stroking the ponytail that had seen fit to drape itself over her left shoulder. "I… You don't really need my advice."

"Oh, _pah_-lease." Rei rolled her eyes. "You have to dress _down_ to keep the guys off you."

_Among other things_, Ranma thought, trapped by some measure of truth in Rei's statement. While she didn't exactly dress down, per se, just very conservatively, which in turn did affect the number of guys that tended to ask her out… if only by a small margin. The woman mentally shrugged. The fact that she actually was beautiful was a condition she had long since become used to and indifferent to simultaneously. Unable to refute the girl's observations, she simply waited while they took her silence as an invitation to continue.

"Ami really likes this guy at school," Usagi began.

"…but is just too darn shy for her own good." Makoto continued.

"So she needs some pointers on how to approach him." Rei rounded out the explanation.

"And we know the guys are just all over you." Minako pointed out as a closing argument, eliciting nods from all five girls. In that moment, Ami's involuntary counseling session turned into a pointed group interest for every girl involved. After all, what aspiring, boy-crazy teenage girl wouldn't want advice from a master such as the one before them? The woman was just too good looking _not_ to have her pick of men.

The redhead gave her ponytail another stroke before flipping it back over her shoulder, resigning herself to her fate with a patience won only through years of experience. Maybe she could even steer them away from her more extreme experiences. With that thought in mind, Ranma settled in. "Well, first, you should never come on too strong. Few guys like a strange girl who suddenly comes out of the blue and hangs all over them, glomps and such."

"Makes sense." Makoto shrugged.

"Take notes, Minako." Rei grinned, causing the blonde to growl.

"Likewise, don't chase them all around." Ranma continued, as if instructing pupils in a classroom. "Everybody likes attention, but everybody needs space too. If you chase him too much, you'll chase him away."

"Subtlety." Ami concluded, mentally jotting the point down. Ranma nodded.

"Exactly. But in moderation." The proprietor warned, clicking a nail on the counter as if to emphasis the point. "There's a fine line between subtlety and manipulation. The latter will end your romance before it even starts."

"She's _good_." Usagi whispered over to Rei, who nodded in kind.

"And the last thing you want to do is resort to drugs, blackmail and explosives." Ranma stated with utter seriousness, and the nods that had been following her lesson in romance instantly ground to halt. _Explosives? _"Extorting or brainwashing your date _will not_ endear him to your affections. And don't—" Ranma paused, noting the wide eyes riveted to her person. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

Usagi opened her mouth, but words failed to come out. Ami, Minako, Makato and Rei simply stared. "That was… um…"

_Riiiing!_

All eyes snapped to the phone down the counter, and every female involved was grateful for the distraction, if for their own separate reasons. Ranma flashed them a brilliant smile. "Oops. Continue this later, girls."

The eyes tracked her as she moved off, and once the proprietor was out of nominal earshot, the conspiratorial whispers began.

"What the _hell_ was that!" Minako hissed in disbelief, still unable to tear her eyes away from the owner of the Crown Arcade across the room.

"Where, exactly did that conversation go horribly wrong?" Makoto asked, shaking her head.

"Drugs." Rei replied with equal disbelief. "I think around the mention of using drugs to seduce Shiro."

Ami had been reduced to a blinking stupor. "I wasn't _planning_ on using explosives…"

"You think it was a joke?" Minako finally managed to tear her eyes off the redhead.

"You know Miss Saotome better that." Usagi glanced back at across the room. "She doesn't joke. At least not like _that._"

"Then what was that?" Makoto questioned, still unable to wrap her brain around the turn in conversation. "Oh my God… you don't think…?"

"It's the only explanation." Usagi Tsukino nodded. "I mean, what else could it be?"

Ami cocked her head. "So you're saying…?"

"She was describing her own experiences!" Rei concluded, bridging the same mental gap. "Miss Saotome used all those methods in her younger days to catch guys…!"

"…And only reaped sorrow." Usagi confirmed sadly. "Leaving her much wiser… but alone."

Makoto was practically sniffling now. "That's so sad!"

"We have to do something to help her!" Minako piped, gaining the nods her friends.

Usagi pushed a fist into her palm, purpose burning in her eyes. "Let's go girls. We have some planning to do!"

* * *

Red hair wafted lightly in the warm evening breeze as Ranma Saotome made her way down the all-too-familiar streets of Nerima, Japan. Little had changed for the prefecture, and the woman had kept her visits just frequent enough to keep up with the minor ones the suburb underwent, yet not so frequent as to become a regular face to the suburb's population. Still, there were a scant few that would recognize her on sight, most of which she didn't mind being recognized by. For the remainder of the prefecture however, her visage would go unnoticed by and large, with an even smaller percentage retaining the vague impression that they had met the redhead somewhere before. That anonymity was all well and good for Ranma, as it provided her with the much needed separation between the past and the present, even if she was here to revisit a small sliver of that past.

Speaking of the past, Ranma mused idly as she paused at a gate and the wooden plank that hung above it. 'Tendo-Hibiki School of Indiscriminate Grappling'. There was a day when the very sight of it would cause her to flinch, but those days were long gone and the sign received her barest attentions as she ignored the bell that hung beside it and pushed the front gate open with ease. She smiled at the sight that greeted her. A group of ten men and a smaller percentage of women were running through a set of katas in white gis, led by a black clad bandana'd instructor. The instructor wandered across the kata line, inspecting each student's form before pausing, noting the redhead for the first time. The martial arts instructor smirked slightly and left the students to their own devices, walking past the line and over to his new visitor.

"Don't you normally teach the advanced class, Ryoga-kun?" Ranma queried the advancing man, eyeing the students behind him.

Ryoga Hibiki nodded curtly. "'Kane-chan's busy." He smiled back as she took his hand gently. "How has Juuban been treating you? Old Nerima misses you, you know?"

Ranma chuckled softly at their customary banter. "Somehow I doubt that. Nabiki isn't cooking tonight is she?"

A sufficiently horrified look occupied the Hibiki's face. "Goodness no! Akane has the kitchen tonight."

"Oh, thank God." The woman feigned relief. "I don't think I could take another meal like…"

"…the rainbow jello dinner. Yes, I know." Ryoga simply shook his head sadly. "It took us a week to catch the damn—"

"_RYOGA HIBIKI!_"

Ranma blinked, and her head swiveled left to find a young blond, no more than seventeen by her estimate, standing on the property wall of the dojo. His weather-worn black cloak flapped in the wind, but that wasn't the primary feature dominating his fashion statement. That was left to the buckles that seemed to cover every square inch of his leather clad person. Arms. Legs. All in all, Ranma was impressed that the boy was still able to move with some modicum of stealth. Not that she hadn't sensed his approach with absolute clarity. Then she noticed Ryoga's slumping body language, indicating that this was, in fact, a regular occurrence. Even his students were groaning. Then there was the bag on buckle-boy's back… those couldn't possibly be…

"Golf clubs, Ryoga?" She asked with a small amount of skepticism creeping into her usually calm voice. The martial arts instructor looked like he was about ready to answer when another outburst from the young man cut him off once more.

"My name Shindo Genji! You killed my father! Prepare to die!" With that proclamation he reached to his back, pulling one of the clubs. His weapon of choice appeared to have a fat steel head and he brought it to bear on the Hibiki.

"You killed his father, Ryoga-kun?" Ranma asked with her most innocent voice and wide eyes to match. Ryoga favored her with a dry look. "Oh my, you're not a nice person."

"You're getting entirely too good at that." Ryoga snorted, then turned his attention entirely onto his buckled challenger. "I didn't kill your father, you idiot!"

"I shall avenger his life with your death!" He bellowed, swishing his golf club through the air decisively. "Your existence ends now!"

Ryoga shook his head and stepped into a loose attack stance while Ranma simply burbled with amusement. "I'll be in the dojo helping Akane fix supper." Ranma took one last look at the advancing blond and smiled mischievously. "You boys have fun."

The martial artist shot the redhead one last glare as she turned on a heel and cleared the immediate strike zone for the house without a look back, totally disinterested in the violent activities about to take place. _Have fun, boys_. The words echoed in his mind, causing him the slightest of shivers after all these years. They had a distinct feminine lilt to them, one that would never belong to the person named Ranma Saotome in his view of the world. Before he could turn the matter over further in his mind, his musings were interrupted by an angry battle cry.

"_FIVE IRON FRENZY!_"

Suddenly, Ryoga Hibiki was engaged in a practical classroom demonstration of his Art.

* * *

A slight rumble reverberated through the house structure, sending ripples through the pot of soup Akane Hibiki was preparing. The vibration of her kitchen caused a slightly perturbed look to cross her face as Ranma fished an apron from a nearby wall hook.

"Honestly, are those two going at it again?" Akane growled, her tone matching the irritation on her face. "I swear, I'm going to beat both of them down myself if they ruin things in here."

Finding the vegetables neglected and a lonely knife, Ranma picked up the cutting implement and began chopping lightly at an offending celery. "Yes, I hear your husband is an axe murderer now." The redhead's humorous demeanor and easy smile seemed to siphon off some of the cook's anger.

"Hmmf. You don't know the half of it." She sniffed and returned to seasoning her stew. "Last time, it was his mother. The time before that, his sister."

"A different family member each week?" Ranma arched an eyebrow, finishing off the stalk of celery and moving on to a hapless carrot.

Akane chuckled. "Pretty much. We're waiting to see just how large his family is."

Ranma shared a mutual smile with her long since ex-fiancée, then twisted her head around the kitchen. "So where is the little scamp, anyway?"

"Doc's office." The cobalt haired woman answered simply.

The redhead nodded knowingly. "Should have figured if she wasn't here cooking with you…"

"I'm not sure which is worse, honestly." Akane grinned. "Aikio destroying the kitchen or destroying Kasumi's patients."

"The patients, I think." Ranma decided. "We know for a fact that this kitchen can take a beating."

Akane Tendo managed a mirthful chuckle through her own silent air of regret at her best friend's words. It would be so easy to read shades of the old Ranma in her humor, shades that in reality hadn't existed for nearly a decade. Either that, or they had been suppressed so deep as not to matter, she thought as her psychology minor surfaced for a moment. Back then, that comment would have been aimed squarely at her and her total lack of skill in cooking. It still was today, but with an important difference- it not only encompassed her past experience in the culinary arts, but her kitchen feuds with Ranma herself and Nabiki's own disasters as well. In fact, Ranma never made a joke about anyone anymore that couldn't be turned directly on herself in some way, shape or form. She sized her friend up, who was every bit the woman she was. Both were twenty seven and fit, though Akane still had an inch or so on her in height. The red head's bust was was still a sore point that made up for that inch, and Akane knew that while she would always be good looking, Ranma was literally stunning. In some ways it had been a good change… Ranma had grown up. She was a respected member of the community. Went to school. Owned her own business… but the price had been high. So _very_ high. Who would have thought she would so long to hear Ranma call her a tomboy one last-

"I know that face, 'Kane." Ranma had stopped her tender mercies concerning the vegetables before her, and Akane now found herself looking into a neutral expression. "Let the ghosts tend to the past. They aren't the reason I'm here tonight."

_Accept it and move on, in other words_, Akane thought and let her sigh escape from the mental prison of her thoughts to open air. "Of course. Speaking of the present, could you go get Aikio, and Kasumi for that matter? All I have left is those vegetables and dinner is ready."

The neutrality of Ranma's countenance was cleared away with a pleasant smile and a nod. "Of course. I might even try and pry that husband of yours away from that silly boy he insists on playing with."

Akane nodded. "Oh, definitely that. Send him home before the street lights come on."

The redhead chuckled and turned away for the door, untying the apron as she proceeded to her appointed rounds. Even as she departed the kitchen, Akane couldn't help but to stare after her one time fiancée and the mystery she held. _Let the ghosts tend to the past, indeed_, she thought wistfully. A difficult task when you're pursuing your own, right Ranma? It wasn't obvious. In fact, Ranma hid the fact quite well from the world, but _she_ had known the red head for over a decade now and her walk told her everything that wasn't said. Each visit, Ranma Saotome's walk was slightly different. The girl had all but forsaken violence, challenges, open sparring and teaching, but the walk was there and so was the Art, even if she took pains to hide it. Nobody Akane knew of had seen Ranma practice in the last decade, but she was all but certain that whatever her families Art had become, it most certainly wasn't gathering dust.

The kitchen door closed with a soft click and Akane Hibiki turned back to her soup, staring at the off-color reflection on its surface. There was only one reason Ranma would keep up the art after all she had been through.

Akane sighed again, banishing her reflection with the soup spoon once more.

* * *

"OwOwOwOW!"

Ranma smiled as the rubbing alcohol was applied with liberal measure to the blond's wounds through layers of shredded leather and broken buckles. Only moments before Shindo Genji's tormentor had been Ryoga Hibiki. Ranma hadn't seen the battle that transpired, but it had obviously been a short, painful lesson for his students to observe. His current tormentor was now female, only four years older than herself. She wore her hair in unbound brown waves and wore a peaceful expression; one Ranma had made every attempt to emulate over the years. Next to her was a small girl in a karate gi, sporting a short crop of dark blue hair, cute fanged smile and rich brown eyes that seemed to glitter every time a cotton ball touched the boy's wounds, eliciting a yelp of pain.

"Do it again, Aunt Kas!" The little girl squealed. Much to her delight, Kasumi smiled and dabbed another wound, producing another yelp.

"OW!" The young man scowled. "I don't need this!"

"Of course you do." The eldest Tendo sister countered. "It would be very impolite of you to bleed all over the court yard." Shindo looked as if he were about ready to argue, but found himself unable to counter the kind rebuke. Instead, he mumbled a barely intelligible apology and Kasumi continued with a smile. "And that arm of yours will need to be popped back into place."

"Look, it ain't gonna need— **OWWWW!**" Aikio Tendo's jingling laughter mixed with Shindo Genji's holler of pain as Kasumi reached in and grasped his arm and shoulder, expertly forcing the joint back into the socket. Ranma couldn't help but to smile at the little girl, having long since decided that Aikio's perverse affinity for pain was well in line with the parents who sired her.

"Oh, Ranma-kun, could you do something about the pain?" Ranma nodded amiably with the request and gave the teen two quick pokes to the back, one at the base of his shoulder blade and the other to the left of his spine's sixth vertebrae.

"HEY! Stop poking—...!" A confused expression crossed the buckled martial artist's face and he flexed his arm. Shindo gave the smartly dressed redhead a puzzled look. "Uh, wow. Thanks. You a doctor too?"

An amused expression overtook Ranma's face as she considered the boy. "No, no. Just a hobby. And I apologize in advance."

"Apologize in advance?" he blond mimed, wondering why, exactly, she would apologize for eliminating his pain with a single touch. Any further questions along those lines, however, were cut off as the master of the Tendo-Hibiki School of Indiscriminate Grappling stuck his head through the half open door and into Kasumi's practice.

"Done with buckle-boy yet? Getting hungry out here."

Shindo's eyes widened and angry fury burned within them. "_You're gonna die, Hibiki!"_ He lurched off of Kasumi's examination bed and managed two steps across the room before those same fury fueled eyes fluttered and rolled into the back of his skull, sending the boy stumbling into the floor, unconscious.

Ryoga looked down to the crumpled boy at his feet, then up at Ranma and Kasumi, who stared back innocent as could be. The Hibiki rolled his eyes. "And I'm supposed to believe he just fell over."

"Oh my, that's an improper place to sleep." Kasumi blinked with all the naivety in the world, looking at Ranma.

"Maybe he has narcolepsy?" Ranma blinked back, equally clueless.

The Hibiki simply shook his head, then looked to his daughter, who was now poking at the corpse of Shindo. "Don't suppose you know what's up with him, Aikio?"

To his dismay, she adopted a similarly vacant expression. "Just found him here, Pop."

Ryoga Hibiki stared blandly at the trio of innocent females and finally sighed. "Alright, fine. Free Pocky for whoever spills it."

"Ran-chan did it!" The little fanged girl blurted, scrambling over the buckled corpse to her father.

"Rats." The redhead feigned disappointment and stuck her tongue out at the girl, who promptly stuck her own out in turn.

His ruse successful, Ryoga scruffed his daughter's head. "Now can you tell me _how_ she did it?"

"Ummmm…" Aikio studied the redhead intently, trying to recall the technique from memory. She began to look a bit lost until Ranma subtly wiggled an index finger with a slight grin. The daughter's eyes lit up. "Oh! Pressure point!"

"Very good." Ryoga gave her a squeeze as she beamed with pride. "Somebody gets some Pocky after dinner. Now go help your mother set the table."

Aikio was out of Kasumi's examination room in a flash, leaving the three bemused adults in her wake. "Defintely a sharp one." Ranma mentioned with a smile as the three filed out behind her. Ryoga hefted Shindo's inert body over his shoulder and followed. "Better watch that mercenary streak of hers though."

"Tell me about it. She's already trying to negotiate her chores." Ryoga admitted. "Let 'Kane-chan know I'll be right in. Gotta toss buckle-boy here out."

Ranma and Kasumi nodded, letting Ryoga go about his duties concerning the disposal of Shindo Genji. Eldest sister noted Ranma's curious expression and preempted the inevitable question. "Oh, he'll just set him outside on the curb. Most of the time Shin-kun just wakes up and wanders home."

The Saotome chuckled and paused, noting the building they had just stepped out of with a critical eye. "You remodeled?"

"I was inspired." Kasumi nodded, pleased that her efforts had been noticed. The structure in question had been shoehorned onto the Tendo property nearly four years ago after she had obtained her medical license. It was, after all, the easiest, least cost-intensive solution for the newly licensed doctor to set up her own practice; simply put some of the family's land to good use. In a way, it pleased Ranma, as there was a certain synergy that existed between the Tendo-Hibiki martial arts school and Kasumi's medical practice. Between that synergy and Nabiki's innate gift for all things business, the dojo was seeing some of its most profitable years since being built.

"The interior remodeling was especially nice." Ranma agreed, opening the door for Kasumi. The smell of delicious food wafted around the pair and suddenly small talk was the last thing on the redhead's mind.

Kasumi smiled warmly as Ranma made her way into the house. It was nice to know that after so much change, some things never would.

* * *

Ranma Saotome politely dipped a slice of steamed pork into an expertly prepared brown sauce and popped it into her mouth with precise care. Had they not known the woman for the last ten years, Ryoga, Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi might have thought it odd that she wasn't wolfing down her food with careless abandon. As it was, they had and the behavior went by and large unnoticed, except by Aikio, who was miming her 'older sister' with uncanny accuracy.

"Ono says 'hi', of course." Ranma continued for her audience as she ran through current events. "I know for a fact that he wouldn't mind the company next time you come through Juuban."

"I'm pretty sure I know somebody he'd like to see more than us." Akane replied, winking at Ranma with a sly grin, causing the Saotome to chuckle.

Nabiki frowned, her rice laden chopsticks pausing before her mouth. "Oh, don't you two even _start_ that again."

"Too late." Kasumi replied, her eyes glittering with the same mischief as Akane and Ranma's. "He's mature, handsome, successful, single… Did I mention handsome, successful and single?"

"The thoughts had crossed my mind." The middle Tendo stated dourly. "And since when is my personal life the topic of dinner table discussion?"

"Since we found out about just how well you two have been getting along." Ranma pointed out with a wide smile. "It's not as if he could keep that sort of secret from me, anyway."

"Well you _are_ practically his family." Ryoga mentioned, then sent a smirk her way. "Are you sure you're ready for Nabiki as your mother, Ranma?"

The redhead cocked her head, as if to consider the prospect. "Hmmm… Nabiki Tofu…"

"And I think you're the only sister not to have a crush on him yet." Akane smiled sweetly, leaning into her husband.

"Seems to run in the family." Kasumi pointed out inoffensively and Ranma nearly choked on the intended humor of her comment, as well as the dumpling she had been nibbling at.

The Tendo scowled and opened her mouth for a retort, only to be cut off by the smallest attendee. "Ono and Nabiki, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

The business woman cast a sidelong glare at the young girl. "Can it, squirt. But since we're airing everybody's dirty laundry, inquiring minds will be interested to learn that Ranma-kun here is host to the Sailor Senshi."

Eating and conversation stopped instantly. Ryoga's gaze narrowed on Ranma. "You _know_ the Sailor Strumpets?"

Akane gave her husband a slight nudge to the ribs, and instead forwarded her own question. "Tell us you're not hanging out with the pretty girls of love and justice now. It's just so… so…"

"Demeaning?" Nabiki supplied with a feral grin, and Akane nodded.

"Exactly." The youngest sister confirmed. "I mean, what is up with those skirts? No wonder they attract so much trouble."

"Now, now." Kasumi inserted herself into the discussion. "Fighting for love and justice is an admirable pursuit."

Ranma nodded in agreement. "For who they are, they manage remarkably well. Nice girls. Well meaning. Can't ask for anything more."

"And good customers." Nabiki added, causing Ranma to nod.

"There is that."

"So are you a magical girl too, now Ranma?" Kasumi questioned between sips of tea. Akane leaned forward with interest, as stranger things had happened 'back in the day'. That, and there was the point that if Ranma _were_ a magical girl, it also meant she was more than likely engaged in violent activities, something her friend had forsaken since days best forgotten. It still wouldn't quite be the Ranma they all once knew, but it was a step in the right direction…

…whatever that direction was these days.

"No, of course not." Ranma waved the theory away. "While I would look absolutely fabulous in one of those fukus, I'll stick to running the Crown." Akane and Ryoga simply nodded with the truth, having long since lost the ability to flinch at the redhead's non sequiturs. "And they _do_ try so hard to keep their identities a secret too."

"I hear Nabiki did a fine job with the reconstruction." Kasumi commented as the conversation evolved around the Senshi. "It was a youma attack then?"

"Yes," The red replied with the slightest hint of weariness in her voice. "While the girls are well meaning, they still need to learn a lesson or two concerning collateral damage. Thankfully, I have an expert troubleshooter on my side."

"Flattery will get you everywhere Ranma-kun." Nabiki bowed her head modestly. "Though it's not as if I haven't had to expedite rush repairs before, I mean with you and Akane…" She watched as Ranma's face lapsed from an easy smile into veiled neutrality, ghosts of the past flickering in her eyes. The rest of the family seemed to hold its breath at the conversational faux pas. "I… uh, sorry about that, Ranma-kun. Wasn't thinking."

Ranma blinked the ghosts away and forced a slight smile. "No worries, Nabiki-chan. That experience is why I called you anyway. You were the best back then too."

Nabiki smiled weakly herself. Even after stumbling over the girl's grave, she still had a knack for making people feel good about themselves. "Thanks, Ranma. But don't think the next one will be free."

"Oh my." Ranma put her hand to her lips in mock horror. "If tonight's payment was supper, I shudder to find out what other horrors await me. So, how is your father?"

"Oh, he's as well as can be expected." Akane took over the topic with the fluidity Ranma had broached it. That fluidity was, of course, a lie. She knew that it was a polite formality to be dispensed with for Ranma and nothing more, as her friend really had no interest in her father's current well being. None what-so-ever, in fact. "Wants to take Aikio on a training mission."

"Mmm." Ranma murmured noncommittally between sips of tea.

"I really hope you're not going to let him pull those antics again, Sis." Nabiki frowned, obviously displeased with the news. The small girl's ears perked up with the mention of her name.

"Grampa says there are Amazon-dragon-phoenix-squids in China!" She gushed with wide eyes, recalling the story. "Can I go?

"When you're older." Ryoga stated in a tone that left no room for negotiation.

"Awwww!"

Ranma smiled and opened her mouth to speak, then cocked her head, as if listening to something. Ryoga noted the pose and extended his own martial arts senses out beyond the dining room walls. "_Dammit_."

Akane turned from Ranma, to her husband. "What?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to call it a night." Ranma stated pleasantly, rising from her sitting position at the table, taking Akane's hand. "Thank you for the wonderful meal. Kasumi, Nabiki. Good seeing you again. Be a good girl, Aikio."

"What? You can't be going so soon! It's only—" Akane Hibiki's objections were halted by her husband's gentle hand on her shoulder.

"He's back."

Akane stared as his words set in, then up at Ranma, who nodded. "But… we sent him out. He should have been busy for another hour and a half. _At least_."

"We can have dinner at my place to make up for it." Ranma smiled, then turned to the door. "I'll make the most scrumptious—"

_Click._

All eyes swiveled onto the door and the graying mustachioed man who stepped through it. He slipped out of his shoes and dusted off his brown hakama before returning his attention to the interior of the house. "I'm home gir—" The words died on his lips upon noting the redhead in tan slacks and a short sleeved black blouse. "Oh, ah, it's good to see you, um, Ranma."

The words spilled forth nervously and Ranma barely acknowledged the greeting, as if it were a given. There was nothing on her face now but an emotional void as she considered Soun Tendo. "I was just leaving."

The room seemed to palpably cool with her words and she took the opportunity to move toward the door, stepping past the Tendo patriarch with an air of indifference. Her hand reached for the doorknob when another hand closed around her shoulder, stopping her.

"Ranma, I just want to…" Soun began softly, only to be cut off almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Remove your hand, Soun Tendo." Ranma ordered icily, never taking her eyes off the door. Her tone was a sharp contrast to the calm pleasantness she had carried through the dinner. "I should hate to have the police disturb the neighbor's peace this time of night."

"But… I… You…"

"Daddy, just let her go." Akane ordered sternly, but softly. Her father's frame visibly slumped, and his hand slipped off the redhead's shoulder. Without another word, she was gone through the door and out in the night. Soun stood in place, motionless, while Aikio looked from one solemn adult to another.

"Why doesn't Ran-chan like Grampa, Mommy?"

Akane sighed, pulling the small girl close. "That's a long, _long_ story…"

* * *

**Author's Notes;**  
_Honestly, I've really got to get off the SM-Ranma xover kick. Too bad my Muse-O-Matic 5000® finds the subject matter just too darn attractive. Anyway, chapters will be alternating between past and present, as to fill in backstory. Yes, everything will be explained, but you'll have to bear with me as I open the Gates of WTF® wide._

Matchups; _Probably not. _Definitely not _A) Any member of the NWC or, B) The Senshi. _

Shindo Genji; _You'll get it. Maybe not. do-ji._

The Crown Arcade; _In canon, this place is used to varying degrees as a communications base to the Moon. In reality, the concept was no more than a plot speed bump, existing in the anime for only one season before being dropped entirely as a plot device. As such, I've taken the liberty of altering events slightly, in that it is not a 'secret senshi base' of any sort. The SM plot obviously did just fine without it, and so will this story. The Crown Arcade in this story is wholly owned by Ranma Saotome._

Timeline: _Approximately ten years after Ranma ½ canon, book 38. Sailor Moon canon has just ended._

Ranma Saotome; _Twenty seven_, _presently retains a female persona for reasons to be outlined later. If this bothers you, shrug._

Special Thanx_ to **Yarrow** and **DCG** for some great scene ideas; **Quizer**, of course, for the editing.. All three are invaluable when it comes to making this fic better than it originally was._

* * *

**Age of Titans**  
By _Ozzallos_

* * *

**Chapter Two**

* * *

_The Twilight,  
__The forgotten.  
__The unseen dances,  
Chaos ensues._

**I**t was a modest size room, floored with crème marble tiling and sparsely decorated stucco walls that curved upwards to an octagonal skylight in the ceiling. Had it been daylight, sun would have most likely shown through the vent, but for now it was night, and a gossamer shaft of moonlight was the room's sole illumination. The celestial glow provided a focus to the chamber's central feature, a marble while pillar; upon it, a box.

That was the target.

A shadow crept along the edges of moonlight, stepping carefully as to ensuring no part of itself touched the pale illumination. The silhouette paused for a moment to consider the highly ordinate, gold trimmed box upon the pedestal, before continuing along the edge of the room. Care would have to be taken in its retrieval. Their had been sentries standing watch over the target, monks whose solemn duty it was to watch over the contents of that box and ensure none passed to touch it. The shadow had dispatched them quite easily. Even though they were skilled in their own right, the intruder eclipsed them by several magnitudes and quickly rendered them unconscious before they even knew a threat existed.

In reality, most thought of the shadow as lazy. They would be correct in that assumption. Training under the master known as Happosai had thoroughly ruined what had once promised to be one of the best martial artists of his generation, though regardless of how lazy he seemed, the shadow was still a prodigy in his own right. When he put his mind to something, there was little that would stop him from obtaining that goal and the monks simply did not pose a credible enough of a threat to stay his purpose.

The shadow's name? Genma Saotome.

A sense of urgency gripped the thief. He had managed to neutralize six of the monks on his way in, but they wouldn't go un-missed forever. Their replacements would arrive, find them missing and would more than likely raise sound an alarm. After that, it would get messy and Ranma wasn't around to distract them…

_Stupid boy doesn't know what's good for him anyway_, Genma grumbled and stepped out of the shadows and into the glow of moonlight. After all, this entire exercise was for his benefit, and he had refused—

The balding martial had managed two steps when the tile beneath his left foot sank slightly, causing adrenaline to shoot like a lightening bolt through his system.

–_DAMMIT!_

He pulled his foot off the tile with the reflexes of a snake, barely missing being impaled by the spear that suddenly thrust upward through the stone. The sharpened tip shot skyward and locked into place, leaving Genma with a clear view of the deadly implement resting just shy of the tip of his nose. The Saotome patriarch took a ragged breath. _Booby traps. Of course._

Genma began stepping lightly across the floor, scrutinizing each and every tile before moving to the next. Ten painstaking minutes and two spears later found him at the base of the pillar, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his head. He paused before mounting the three steps leading up to the pillar, knowing that they were more than likely booby trapped themselves. _More pressure plates_, he guessed, kneeling to the floor to get a view of the seams along each step. _Only question is where the trap will come from…_

He ruled out the ceiling with a quick glance. Nothing deadly would be coming through the skylight and the arched beams were entirely too necessary for architectural support to house anything serious. The walls at his back were an entirely different story, but now too far away to deny him of reaction time, so Genma ruled those out as well. Probably in the steps themselves, then, he decided.

_Slackers_, he snorted. While he may have regretted ninety-nine percent of his training under Happosai, the experience had made Genma one of the best escape artists alive, a skill that carried over into recognizing just what to expect from traps like these. He pulled a thermos of warm water from folded space and held it gingerly over the first step, edging the rest of his body away from the pillar, then let it go.

_Thunk._

Adrenaline fueled reactions went to waste as the thermos just sat there, failing to have been impaled, crushed, skewered or likewise poisoned by a lethal implement of any sort. Genma shrugged. He cautiously stepped onto the step he had just tested and studied the next one up. His reactions still retained a hair trigger, anticipating a delayed action mechanism. _Careful, careful, careful you old panda…_

He poised the thermos over the next plate and dropped it, this time rewarded by series of clicks in addition to the 'thunk'. Muscles poised…

_ShuuNK!_

The trap activated as expected. _Where_ it activated from was completely unexpected. The entire surface of the pillar in front of Genma dropped away into the ground, revealing the column's inner structure. It was not made up of solid marble as first appearances would lead one to believe. Instead, it was wood, metal and approximately five thousand glass marbles the size of a man's thumb, all packed tightly against several small linen bags stained with black soot.

A sizzling his found Genma's ear.

The scent of gunpowder wafted across his nostrils.

Few other men would have had the reactions necessary to capitalize on that split second's worth of warning, while even less that that would have had the aerial mastery necessary to leap straight up as a bundle of sparking fuses within the pillar lit off, finding their respective bags like demons devouring fire.

_**BOOOM!**_

Genma Saotome had just obtained his maximum height and was twisting to land atop the hollowed column when the improvised claymore detonated, bathing everything within three hundred and sixty degrees in a wall of fire and glass. The invisible wall wave front shattered against the temple wall less than a second later, blasting the fine decoration and stonework into little more than pulverized Swiss cheese in a deafening shriek.

Smoke rolled away from the pillar and Genma stood perched atop it and the treasure box like a crouching gargoyle, cheek twitching as he surveyed the destruction. The chamber walls had been perforated to a height of three meters, while the marble directly around the base was flame-scorched. _That _had_ to have woken somebody up,_ the thief frowned. Anybody else in his position would have been turned to a fine paste. Fortunately, he was as good as—

Click-_click!_

The sound brought his thought process up short as he sought the source, all of a sudden finding his world… _sinking?_ Genma blinked. The entire pillar was sinking _into_ the stone foundation now; him with it.

_Not sticking around for another trap!_ He thought, hopping off and snatching the small chest as he did so. The column continued to drop until its top was flush with the ground. The Saotome patriarch backed away from it cautiously as it clicked into place and began rotating. Genma stared. He was pretty certain they wouldn't blow up the entire temple in the middle of town, so what—?

The moonlight that had been filtering through the above skylight suddenly went dark.

"Oh, you've got you kidding—"

_CrunCH!_ _**BOOM!**_

A giant, nearly circular bolder crashed straight through the ceiling, shattering yet more beautiful stone marble and nearly flattening Genma on the spot. The thief rolled out across the tiled floor and began tripping spear traps randomly, forcing the aged martial artist into wild evasions in order to avoid being skewered. The Saotome flipped back twice as three more spears triggered, evading two and chopping the third one away, only to watch in horror as the giant bolder began to roll…

…_In his direction._

The huge circular rock took up most of the now largely gutted room and there was only one way out as the massive piece of geology continued to advance on him. Genma Saotome backed away from the encroaching bolder. Even as the rock gained speed slowly, he could hear monks rallying outside the temple, and only one thought echoed through his brain…

"I'm getting too damn old for this…"

* * *

"**W**e're back!"

Akane Tendo blinked from her position on the living room sofa, turning her attention away from the TV soap she and her elder sister Nabiki now watched, and onto the voice that had issued the proclamation. The door only seconds opened clicked closed and the shuffle of shoes being removed now filled the hallway. Nabiki looked back with a slight smile.

For the sisters Tendo, Ranma Saotome returning from his month long training trip was a portent of mixed messages. For Akane, it was the return of her on-again, off again fiancé, the harbinger of angst and chaos in her life… As well as the return of a person who filled some vague, ill-defined place in her heart, regardless of how rough he was around the edges. For Nabiki, the martial artist's return not only meant the return of her primary long term investment, but a rise in property damage, extortion, betting, and of course, lens time. Unlike her younger sister, Ranma Saotome occupied a rather well defined place in Nabiki's heart; that place being labeled "Cash cow".

After another few seconds of shuffling, Ranma strolled into the living room. His appearance had changed little since the last time they had laid eyes on him, save the fact that he now sported an odd bruise here and there and his tradition blue and black Chinese silks looks a bit worse for the wear. The martial artist flashed a smile at the pair but quickly found his attention diverted by the sobbing television, specifically, a Chinese princess whose lover was _not,_ in fact, found to be slain by an evil demon lord who instead possessed his body and seduced her sister, the temple priestess and devil hunter, thereby creating animosity between the once harmonious pair.

Ranma frowned at the revelation. While this particular episode was unknown to him, the general direction of the plot _was_; his dismay lying primarily in the fact that despite the intricate plot of demons, swords and sorcerers, it had taken him sitting through several excruciating episodes to realize that not one iota of action was to be found in the melodrama the Tendo sisters now watched.

"Uhg, not this again."

Akane threw a look of annoyance his way for the comment that passed as his first words to her in over a month, while Nabiki simply opted to roll her eyes. "Some of us have better things to do than roll around in the wild and pummel their family members for sport."

"As if," Ranma snorted, clearly amused. What could be better than beating up on old pops, after all? "Way better than watchin' fang face there fall in love with the priestess, only to have her father slay the only person who really ever understood her while forcing her to leave with an unborn illegitimate child."

Then, as an after thought, "Oh, hi 'Kane."

Akane simply glared back at Ranma, clearly annoyed at her place in the conversation while Nabiki blinked. Kasumi stepped in from outside with a basket full of laundry at that moment, setting it next to her sisters. "Oh my, how did you manage to get a preview of the next episode, Ranma-kun?"

"Didn't," He shrugged. "That's just the way those things always go."

"Now you're just being creepy, Saotome."

The pigtailed boy simply dismissed the middle Tendo's comment. "So anything exciting happen while we were gone?"

"Actually, we rather appreciated all the peace and quiet," Akane inserted the subtle barb in an attempt to regain her fiancées attention through the most tried and true means available...

"So pretty boring, huh?"

…And rolled a critical miss.

Akane's shoulders slumped at having forgotten that it would take more than a subtle 1d4 insult to get his attention. Having lost the initiative, she turned back toward attempting some semblance of a real conversation. "Pretty much. How about you?"

"Yeah, Saotome," Nabiki piped up, now ignoring the TV drama completely. It didn't help that Akane's fiancé had thoroughly annihilated the plot for her. "Gain anymore curses we should know about?"

The question produced only a slight wince in the martial artist. "Nah. Old man decided to cause some trouble with a bunch of monks, though."

"Oh my…"

Ranma nodded at the eldest Tendo's missive. "Tell me 'bout it. Had his eyes on this stupid box they were guarding." He paused, shaking his head with a new thought. "Damn thing was probably cursed too, now that ya mention it."

"He was going to steal from monks?" Akane's jaw dropped.

Ranma simply shook his head and leaned against the wall to his back. "Ya never did see him when I was a kid. Pop's would grab at anything that wasn't nailed down. Called it 'training'."

Now it was Akane's turn to blinked. Clearly, Genma would be going to hell several times over, though it shouldn't have come as a surprise after hearing about everything attributed to the man's stupidity. Stealing from monks was just as good as stealing okanomiyaki carts and forbidden scrolls, so why not?

"So did he get the box?" Nabiki questioned him with an unnatural light in her eyes, prompting the eldest sister simply frowned upon the sudden display of interest. "More importantly, how much was it worth?"

"Nah." Ranma's grin bordered on feral now. "I beat the notion out of him. Last thing I need is to get a pack of homicidal monks out after me 'cuz of him."

* * *

"**A**h, Saotome-kun," Soun Tendo smiled, pulling away the cigarette as smoke lazily drifted from the porch on the light afternoon breeze. The Saotome in question smiled and dropped his pack down next to his best friend before sitting opposite of the freshly tiled shogi board. "How was… the trip?"

The balding martial artist adjusted his glasses and looked around conspicuously. Satisfied there were no eavesdroppers, Genma Saotome smiled and dug into his pack. "I got it."

The cigarette nearly fell out of his mustachioed partner's fingers. He too looked around quickly before staring at Genma's progress intently. "Truly?"

"Wasn't easy with my boy along," the round martial artist commented, retrieving a square shaped cloth wrapping from his pack. Soun Tendo watched as he began to untie the bindings that held it secure. "Damn monks too, but I got it."

"But… Does it work?" The Tendo asked as the cloth slipped away, revealing the first hints of dark, pitted wood beneath.

Genma shrugged. "Don't know. They sealed it in this damn box with a puzzle lock. I _hate_ puzzle locks."

Soun sympathized. After that training mission with the master to retrieve an idol bust of solid gold, both apprentices were now _very_ wary of puzzles and the giant boulders, poison darts and screaming natives that went with them. _This _particular box was about two hands long and one high; while its aged wood sported tarnished brass work along the joints that ultimately joined into a complex dial with numerous interlocking grooves. The encrusted dial had five rings within the diameter, and symbols spaced evenly at numerous points along the circumference. The Tendo took it gingerly from Genma's hands to inspect it while Genma noted his partner's hesitation.

"Don't worry, Tendo. Been playing with those damn dials the entire way home while Ranma was asleep," He assured the man. "Hasn't killed me yet."

'Yet' was the operative word in Soun Tendo's eyes. Sure, the wooden box looked innocent enough, but so did that silver ball they had retrieved for the master; a silver ball that promptly levitated, produced shining, jagged blades and chased them both for nearly a week before they finally gave it the slip. But then, he and his partner had survived this long and wariness and cunning, and the stakes were high. The artifact in this box could cement the Saotome-Tendo Anything Goes legacy for all time.

Emboldened by the fact, Soun gave the outside dial an experimental turn, followed quickly by the inner four dials. Each clicked obnoxiously with the movement, but failed to yield any further tangible results.

"Don't even bother, Tendo." Genma frowned as his friend gave the puzzle lock another experimental twist. "I've been trying for nearly two weeks. I think we need a specialist."

Soun stopped his experimentation immediately and his left cheek began to twitch. "You don't mean…?"

"I do."

"Are you sure?" The mustachioed man set the box on the shogi board, clearing the tiles away. "Surely a simple puzzle doesn't warrant that sort of overkill…"

Genma let a labored sigh slip. "Desperate times, old friend. The kids have been together nearly a year and a half now. I don't see an heir coming anytime in the near future, do you?"

Soun Tendo's shoulders slumped with defeat. He was right. At the rate Ranma and his own little girl were progressing, the other not-so legitimate fiancées had an even, if not _better _shot at wedding the boy these days, and God forbid his morals slipped _even once_. He was a maturing teenager and there was simply too much competition to risk _that_. Determination steeled his eyes and he nodded to his friend, both standing up.

"Let's do it."

Both men stepped out into the daylight and steeled themselves. What they were about to undertake was not without risk, after all. Had they the time or foresight, both parents would have thought to erect some form summoning circle to protect against the evil they were about to call forth. As it was, they were short of wards, time and common sense, opting to dispense with the safeties in favor of instant gratification. The aging martial artists took a deep breath…

"HAPPOSAI, HAPPOSAI, HAPPOSAI!"

"Sweeto!" Both men twisted around to find the old perverted master bounding over the Tendo property wall, bouncing easily over to them despite the massive cloth sack of underwear straddling his back. "What's up, boys? Ready for a new training mission?"

Genma suppressed the inevitable shudder at the very suggestion. "Uh, no master! We um… uh…"

"Need your help!" Soun stepped in before Genma began to draw too much attention to himself. The Masters eyes flicked from Saotome to Tendo. "To open, uh, this!"

He thrust the small rectangular box out to the diminutive old gnome, who in turn let the massive green bag of panties roll off his back. Happosai snatched at the box with curiosity.

"A present for your master, no doubt!"

Soun paled. "Uh… eh…"

Seconds after having grabbed at it, The old master found his attention completely absorbed by the box. "Hmmm… Very old… Puzzle lock…" His attention returned briefly to his students. "Reminds you of the good ol' days, huh?"

Happosai didn't wait for a response and returned to the box, failing to notice his student's shivering. "Let's see… Long time since I've seen one of this craftsmanship. Don't make 'em like this anymore. Monks of Avalon if I'm not mistakin'."

_Click-click-click-click-_

"These things are a blast, " Soun and Genma simply remained silent as their master began to fiddle with the locking mechanism. "Force the lock and the spell binding feeds back on itself. Literally a blast." Tiny fingers began to manipulate the five dials, prompting them to click in return. "There's also at least thirty dummy combinations you can hit upon, releasing a cloud of acidic vapor on anybody within ten meters."

_Click-click-click-_

Now Genma paled. He had been playing with that thing for a _week_, dialing at random.

"And the obligatory poison darts," The master reminisced with a smile. "Ah, it just takes ya back. Great locks, too bad the makers weren't exactly imaginative. All derivatives of the great elemental puzzle. It's rather simple once- Whoops!"

_Click-click-clickclickcliclickclickclick!_

Genma and Soun cringed as the master's eyes widened, his little fingers spinning the inner most dial well away from the setting he was about to stop on. He looked up at his still frozen apprentices with a smile. "Almost set a dummy combination. Ah, here we go."

_Click-click-CLICK._

"Still got the touch!" Happosai grinned widely. "Now it's time to see what you old boys got your master for-"

"Look, Master! PANTIES!"

"Where!"

The wooden box instantly dropped as the pervert swung around, looking wildly in the direction Soun was pointing. The momentary distraction provided Genma with more than enough time to drop several hundred pounds of stone lantern on the gnome's head from a height of three meters, flattening the old master. Both smiled at one another and Soun retrieved the box. Sure, he would be pissed when he woke up. After all, you just don't double cross demonic evil without reprisal; but by then, their work would be done long before he woke up.

Soun stared at the box with wonder and swung the lid open slowly.

_Phhhfffttt!_ ThWapTHwAPThWApThwaPThwAP!

Eight streaks flew by his nose and he blinked, finding Genma staring at the ceiling of his porch. There, eight feather tipped wooden spikes had managed to imbed themselves in the sturdy beam above them. The balding martial artist simply shook his head.

"Poison darts. I _hate _poison darts." Then he paused with a faraway look in his eyes. "Say, did I ever tell you about how I met No-chan?"

Soun dismissed his partner's fond musings, carefully inspecting the interior of the lethal box in his hands. Its contents quickly earned their undivided attention as their gazes fell upon tarnished gold and gems, twisted and shaped into the form of an antique oil lamp. "Well it certainly _looks_ impressive."

Genma nodded. At very least, it would pay for a few meals once they shined it up. He lifted it gently out of the box and away from Soun; carefully, as to avoid any further unwanted surprises. Satisfied that it was no longer a threat, he took a better grip, turning it to view the lamp from every angle. After another few minutes of study, he frowned and began to shake it. "So how do we turn the damn thing on?"

"It's said to grant a wish, correct?" Soun asked an earned a nod in return. He took the lamp from his friend. "I seem to recall something about polishing magical lamps…"

Genma's eyebrows furrowed with the concept. "Do we need a special kind of polish? I can send the boy-"

"We'll just try this first, old friend." Soun nodded and began to rub the dark golden lamp with his sleeve. "If this doesn't work, I'll have Kasumi fetch-"

"MWUWAHAHAHAAHAH!"

Bluish smoke erupted from the lamps spout, coinciding with the obnoxious booming laughter while instantly causing Soun to drop the lamp. Visions of acidic clouds eating away fleshy skeletons quickly played through his mind and he leapt away, as did Genma, whose own brain was already operating along the same lines.

Fear quickly turned to amazement as the cloud failed to disperse with the summer breeze and instead opted to coalesce into a vaguely humanoid shape. A translucent torso formed, quickly developing smoky arms and a head; all solidifying into features that vaguely resembled a blue man composed of roiling smoke. Aside from the roiling coil of smoke that teathered his waist to the lamp, the thing looked nearly human.

The figure continued to gain definition as they gaped and now three girls and a boy were stepping out on the porch, wondering what the entire ruckus was about. Immediately visible, of course, were the two slack jawed parents. Beside them was a stone lantern misshapenly placed on the old pervert Happosai's head.

This was approved of.

What they found beyond the parents and the misplaced stone lantern caused them to stop short, however, as it wasn't everyday you found a man made of blue smoke floating about your property.

"Oh my!" Kasumi put her hands over her mouth. "Another kidnapper for Akane?"

The youngest sister's cheek twitched, but her eyes remained firmly rooted on the improbably sight before her, that being what looked like a well muscled man dressed in Arabian styled clothing made entirely of blue smoke. Beyond the intricately woven belt, nothing below the hips was discernable, save the blue funnel cloud swirling about.

"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND, MASTER!"

The proclamation stunned nearly everybody present, and the newly summoned Djinni waited for the moment to pass by twirling his handle-barred mustache. Surprisingly, it was Genma's brain that kicked back online first.

"I wish to be rid of my Jusenkyo curse!"

The swirling man considered him with a wide smile. "HA! That I could grant were you my master! Only the one who released me may wish upon the lamp," Properly rebuked, he turned to Soun Tendo. "What is your wish, Master?"

"Ooof!"

Eyes turned back to find Genma doubled over, his son's elbow having been applied brutally to the father's gut.

"That's for not wishin' _both_ our curses away, Pops," Ranma elaborated on the elbow, pulling it away from the stricken man with a sucking sound. "'Cides, didn't I tell ya not to screw with the monks?"

The father balked at the suggestion by lunging at his son, squabbling despite the fact that there was now what amounted to a Djinni in their midst. The mythical being watched their argument with a most amused expression on his face while Soun Tendo considered his wish carefully.

"Doesn't Daddy get three wishes?" Nabiki's direct question to the Djinni effectively stopped any and all argument between the Saotome father and son. Three wishes meant ample opportunity to wish away their curses, after all.

For his part, the gaseous entity merely chuckled. "Were the biped who bound me to this lamp both skilled _and_ powerful, perhaps. Suffice to say, he was not and was only able to exact one wish from our… _negotiations_."

All eyes turned from the Djinni and back to the bearer of the single wish, who contemplated his dilemma. When he and Genma had first discussed it, it had all seemed so easy… Wish Akane and Ranma together in a happy marriage. It was only now that the wish was in hand, so to speak, that the true power that he wielded was realized. For instance, he could very well wish Kamiko back into the world of the living. It was a sobering thought, that. _Surely Genma would forgive the change of plan…_

"I wish… my wife…"

"No," The smoldering blue man held out his hand, stopping Soun's request cold. "Returning loved ones from beyond the veil is not within my power. Nor, for that matter, is wishing for more wishes or more power than I myself have been imbued with. Please keep these limitations in mind when wishing."

"Jeez, didn't think you needed an instruction manual for wishin'," Ranma commented and the Djinni smiled, snapping his fingers. The air exploded before him and a massive leather bound book materialized, instantly dropping to the earth with a thud. The wide tome was easily five encyclopedias thick.

"There is," The Djinni motioned to the huge book now lying at Ranma's feet. "Nobody ever bothers to read it."

Ranma arched an eyebrow, running a finger along the thick layer of dust over the hide bound cover. "Can see why."

Soun barely paid the book any mind. If he couldn't wish Kamiko back then there was only one other thing of value to be wished for. "I've decided."

"Then wish, O'Master!"

"I wish…" Three daughters, one best friend and his son hung on every word. "I wish for Ranma to fulfill his honor to the Tendo family!"

Ranma blinked. He wasn't the only one. "Wha-?"

"MWAWAHAHAHA!" The Djinni bellowed, amusement plainly evident on his smoky face. "A poorly worded wish if there ever was! I suppose it is up to me to interpret your desires correctly!"

"_Very_ poorly worded," Nabiki simply shook her head, disappointed. "And couldn't you have wished for something a bit more lucrative?"

She quickly found her misgivings ignored as the Djinni turned to the stunned Ranma Saotome. "Soun Tendo's wish is for you to fulfill your honor toward his family."

The moment broke and the pigtailed boy simply rolled his eyes. "Ain't nothing' new there."

"Then you shall forgive me for indulging myself," The wispy Djinni bowed in a grandiose manner, and the smile began to make Ranma nervous. "Tell me, you are a martial artist, are you not?"

"The best."

"Excellent!" The man clapped, delighted. "And as a martial artist, you are tasked with defending the weaker bipeds amongst you?"

A small voice in the back of Ranma's mind began screaming, the same voice that usually accompanied Amazon attacks, kidnappers of the month and other such super villains that regularly stumbled across the humble Nerimian prefecture. "Yeah, so?"

"And what would you do when tasked between saving somebody helpless, like, hmmm…" The Djinni made a big production of thinking before snapping his fingers with inspiration. "Dear Kasumi Tendo here will do nicely!"

No sooner had he snapped then the eldest Tendo daughter was enveloped in a large, transparent bubble that shimmered with power. An 'oh my' instantly spilled from Kasumi's lips, though the audio component of the misgiving was clearly absorbed by the barrier.

"Hey! Let her go!" Akane charged forward, only to meet the creature's now cruel smile. His form began to shift away from the blue human he had manifested as and in to that of something more sinister and predatory. Its arms and torso thinned; fingers lengthening into smoky talons as the pleasant face was replaced by a sharp curved beak and glittering blue eyes.

Akane skidded to a halt as the new being before her looked as though it considered her a tasty morsel. Ranma stepped behind her and pulled Akane back, interposing himself between the insubstantial monster and his fiancée.

"Do you ignorant bipeds believe you can simply enslave one of our kind without consequence?" The beaked creature continued in the same well mannered-voice he had started with, a voice totally at odds with the form it now assumed. The slopped cranium turned toward Soun Tendo. "And thank you, _master_, for providing me with such a wonderful opportunity for vengeance!"

"_Moko Takabisha!"_

Ranma's ki bolt crossed the space instantly at point blank range, blowing a large hole _through_ the now demonic looking Djinni and continuing on into the property wall beyond. Whatever devastation the bolt of pure life force managed to impart on the wall failed to transfer into the real target, as the massive hole in its chest held form for a moment before smoke flowed back into the wound, sealing the damage completely. The creature simply chortled at his efforts

"Ha! None may interfere with the dispensation of a wish! Now where were we? Ah yes!" Two razor sharp talons clicked together with the rhetorical question and Genma found himself in a similar prison. A few punches from within the bubble quickly confirmed its robustness. "Now, as I was saying… No, wait. I am missing somebody."

Another snap of the wispy talons produced Nodoka Saotome in the same bubble as her husband. "Yes, that's better."

"Let… them… go…" Ranma growled as his mother came to terms with being transported away from cooking lunch within her home to being translocated to the Tendo Dojo and trapped. The martial artist began to glow brightly now, but the Djinni paid neither him nor his battle aura heed. Akane's brain was screaming to run to her sister's assistance but for once, that impulse was held in check. Something was tickling a basic instinct at the back of her mind that terrified her.

"You must let them go!" Soun demanded with more confidence than he felt against in the presence of such foreboding evil. "I am the master of the lamp and you must obey me!"

"Indee," The cruel smile was clearly communicated through that singular word. "You wished for Ranma to fulfill his honor to the Tendo family. _He shall_." The beak turned back to Ranma. "I shall let them go, but the choice is yours- Kasumi Tendo or your parents."

"And what's to stop me from kickin' your ass and saving em both?" Muscles began to tense as Ranma bought time for his next salvo, looking for a weakness in his opponent to strike at.

"Magic, of course!" The smoking wraith, still bound to the lamp admitted gleefully. "Both mine and the fool who tied me to this relic. It is _such _a pleasure to use the idiot's own machinations against him! But now, will you rescue the defenseless girl or your own blood? The one not chosen will, of course, die a hideous and painful death."

Genma's struggling from within his own bubble ceased, as did Nodoka's ineffectual pounding next to him. Even Kasumi Tendo's eyes went wide with the announcement. The pigtailed boy himself began to quiver and meter long claws of red ki flashed into existence along his knuckles, though he appeared not to notice.

"I ain't jokin'."

"And neither am I," The Djinni wraith nodded, pulling a small hourglass from its smoldering torso. He flipped it around delicately between two talon tips and red sand began to pour through the bottleneck. "You have one minute, else they both succumb to the same fate."

_PhOOOooMP!_

There was no warning this time as the ki blast tore through the intervening space separating Ranma Saotome from the creature, only to have to blow through the creature as it had before with no effect, save a surprised look on the Djinni's face. This time, the martial artist was right behind it, however, launching an aerial kick into the creatures form and following up with a burst from his Chestnut Fist technique. The smoldering creature never even flinched as blades of ki racked through its head, leaving little but streaking smoke to mark their passage. His opening salvo exhausted, Ranma flipped back and landed between the bubbles of Kasumi, Genma and Nodoka. A quick survey of his work indicated no damage and the tiny minute glass was already half depleted.

"This thing is serious," Ranma growled over his shoulder to the entrapped trio from a crouch. "I'll get Kas-chan out first, then get you both- "

"AN EXCELLENT CHOICE!" Ranma's eyes widened Djinni cackled happily, blue smoke roiling within the confines of its form. "I knew you would hold true to your martial arts code. Either way, the wish is to be fulfilled!"

_Click!_

It was a simple snap of the creature's talons, but the horrified faces on the remaining Tendos told Ranma everything he needed to know about the monsters actions. He spun around and glimpsed into hell itself. Kasumi was free of her confinement, but had lost her balance as she gaped at the horrific spectacle taking place. Flames had ignited within his parent's globe and both now withered in agony as both clothing and flesh were silently consumed from within the magical incinerator.

"Dance, mortals! Dan-"

"**RAAAAAARRRRAAAAHHH!"**

The embodiment of undistilled fury spun onto the laughing Djinni, cupping its hands as a pure ki pooled within them. Blue eyes shined with vengeance and Ranma snarled, unleashing a solid blue beam into the tormentor of his parents. An incandescent line of pure life force lanced ineffectually through the Djinni's torso before flickering out. Ranma launched himself in behind it, fully in the grip of nekoken rage. Ki claws came up and sliced diagonly through the smoking torso, then flashed back again in an ineffectual attempt to severe the beast from its lamp.

None of the attacks met resistance and Ranma tumbled through the Djinni but recovered quickly, only to be stopped by the sight of two skeletonal pyres withering in broad daylight. They seemed to stand upright a moment longer, as if held there by will alone before collapsing into a bonfire of carbon cinders and bone.

The Djinni sighed as Ranma sank to his knees. "A pity you humans don't last longer. You all make for such brief entert- Ooh!" Another kick blasted though his head and for a moment, he stared into the blue eyes of unrestrained fury. Ranma Saotome put everything he had into the next punch, prompting the creature to simply laugh. "Much as I would like to indulge your bloodlust, I cannot. The lamp's power is already gathering to take me far away from this comedy of ignorance and stupidity."

Another ki blast splashed through him, and for a moment, the Djinni felt the smallest twinge of… _concern_. It was a damn good thing the boy didn't know a thing about his kind or magic; else he might actually be a threat with that sort of determination. It shrugged the worry off and turned back to the kneeling, horrified form of Soun Tendo. "Regardless, thank you for the entertainment, _master!_ I should only hope for another as ignorant and self serving as yourself!"

Ranma's next punch flew through the monster as the Djinnis smoking body seemed to collapse in upon itself while simultaneously being pulled back into the lamp. The Saotome recovered only fast enough to watch the cloud disappear entirely into the lamp before being enveloped in a bright light. It pulsed blindingly once and Ranma was left staring at empty ground; beyond that, the charred remains of his parents. One of the sisters threw up off to the side, but tearing his gaze away to find out which was all but impossible for the pigtailed boy.

The final embers of the Djinni's magically fueled inferno drifted away with the wind leaving the scorched remains to smolder restlessly.

Genma and Nodoka Saotome, ages 42 and 38, were dead.

* * *

**N**abiki took another nervous glance across the Tendo courtyard and up into the dimming evening sky. Outlined there were the familiar lines of their dojo and atop it, the crouching form of Ranma Saotome. The redhead hadn't moved for hours since the departure of the police, who had grudgingly accepted the fact of yet another supernatural occurrence in their precinct. It was also a sad fact that the late Genma Saotome had a criminal record half a kilometer long, which in turn contributed to the officers' reluctance to probe the incident any deeper. "_Another felon off the streets_," she had heard one of the officers say.

Nabiki Tendo shivered with the recent memory and the statement. She was all but certain Ranma had heard the careless remark as well, though the only evidence that he had done so was the sharp decrease in ambient temperature around him. The frost on the lawn where he stood had opened her eyes a great deal in that moment. The martial artist whom she had passed off as clueless, naïve, and damaged was also one of _incredible_ self control.

There was no doubt that he could break the offending officer and decimate his associates with next to no effort, and the middle Tendo morbidly wondered how high the death toll would climb if that self control snapped, let alone who would be at the top of his list when it did. She didn't like the answers that silent question produced. As it was, the teen martial artist simply stared impassively and answered their questions, as if the small men asking them weren't poking the dragon in their midst with a stick and allowed them to leave with all their vital organs intact. The next time she saw Ranma, he was a she and had retreated to the dojo rooftop where none dared follow.

Daddy had, of course, drank himself into drunken oblivion after the police left, eliminating any traces of sobriety with extreme prejudice, with consciousness following shortly thereafter. _Probably for the best_, Nabiki reasoned, taking another involuntary glance at the figure above. The last thing Ranma needed was to be confronted by the person who was in-part responsible for the death of her mother and father.

_Speaking of confrontations…_

Father may have been comatose, but there was still damage control to be done. Nabiki strode briskly through the house and up the stairs all but ignoring her still shell-shocked eldest sister on the way up stair. Not that she could blame her. The heavy chaos almost always happened far away from their home and always ended happily. _It was probably inevitable_, she decided, clearing the last step and passing her own room in short order. She of all people knew you could only beat the odds so many times before they caught up with you, and they finally had here in a spectacularly gruesome manner.

_Knock-knock-knock._

Nabiki stood at Akane's door for a moment, then pushed it open without invitation, finding the girl simply staring at the ceiling from her bed. There was little doubt in her mind that the same scenes of burning remains were playing out in her little sister's mind, just as they had been hers for the last four hours. Much as she wanted to let her sister deal with the trauma in her own way, the most lethal martial artist this side of Tokyo was sitting on their roof, balancing on a hair trigger.

The youngest Tendo didn't even look as Nabiki stepped into her room. "He needs you," Akane remained motionless. "He… _she's_ on the roof right now, brooding."

"Yeah," Was the only word her sister uttered and Nabiki took it as an invitation, sitting on her sister's bed.

"No, Akane, this is _bad_," She continued, deadly serious. "You know how he retreats to his curse when he can't handle the situation. I'm no psychotherapist, but it's his emotional outlet whether he admits it or not."

Akane turned from her pillow to consider her sister's words. Nabiki immediately noted the puffy red eyes, but pressed forward. "When you get angry or depressed, you break bricks. When Ranma gets depressed, _she_ takes it out on the ice cream stores. If it's really bad, he uses the curse to cry it out. But this… We both know from experience this is something that you can't just cry away."

The sister simply nodded as her own thoughts were invariably drawn off to their late mother before focusing on the crisis at hand. "I don't think he wants to see me right now…"

Nabiki found her rare moments of sympathy increasing in frequency, nodding with her sister. "I'm _sure_ he doesn't want to see anybody now, but he needs to see _somebody_… I'm not that person and Kasumi really doesn't handle this sort of stuff well."

Akane remained silent, prompting Nabiki to play the last card in her hand. "You saw the lawn." The youngest sister simply nodded. "We can't _afford _to leave him alone right now."

Akane stared at her sister in silence. She remembered the lawn. She remembered the nearly invisible vapor rolling off her fiancée, crystallizing the blades of grass at his feet. She remembered, and Nabiki's words hit her with absolute clarity. Akane sat up from her position and wiped an eye clear. "I'll… I'll try."

Nabiki watched as Akane stood up slowly and put one foot in front of the other. Resigned to her fate, the girl slid her door open and stepped out. Nabiki watched after the door a moment longer before falling back onto the empty bed herself, mentally exhausted. Normally she loved her games of manipulation, but today, those stakes had become far too high to be enjoyed. A super powered martial artist was on the edge and she had just sent her sister in to calm him down. It wasn't one of her better moments, but if Akane's fiancé _did_ snap, Daddy was more than likely first on the list, followed by herself shortly there after depending on how Ranma felt.

The sad fact was that Akane was probably the best chance they had of calming Ranma down, and she had just sent her sister into the breech.

* * *

"**T**old him not to screw with the monks."

Akane simply sat with Ranma in silence as the boy stared off into the dusk sky from his rooftop perch, revisiting the cruelty inflicted upon his parents. The callous remark struck his fiancée such that she felt the need to defend the departed father.

"He was just trying to—"

"Help?" Ranma snorted scornfully, her eyes never leaving the fading horizon. "Help himself, maybe. Him and your old man."

The youngest Tendo opened her mouth, but there was little to say on the matter. Even if it had merely been an annoyance before, there was simply no denying the fact now. Their parents had been willing to _wish_ them together through supernatural means… And suffered the consequences in a horrific manner.

"My old man… He deserved that." Ranma growled, prompting Akane's eyes to widen to the size of dinner plates. "Don't look at me like that. Call it whatever you want, but karma finally caught up to the panda."

"But—"

"And you know the worst part about all this?" The martial artist's blue eyes locked onto Akane's sparkling with resentment. "My Mom didn't do a goddamn thing to deserve _that_."

Akane's head turned to view the court yard of her home almost mechanically, as if directed to do so by an outside force beyond her control. _That_ was a scorch mark just outside the house; a meter of blackened grass and earth. Her stomach instantly began to feel queasy again.

"Screw him and screw your old man," The girl spat before her smoldering resentment moved on to a new topic of malcontent. A dark chuckle fell from her lips. "Ranma Saotome never loses, eh? Looks like he lost _big_ today."

Akane knew self recrimination when she heard it and attempted to intervene, putting her hand gently on the redhead's own. "There's nothing you could have done! Nobody could have known they were going to summon a _dinnji!_"

"And that's the point, 'Kane," Ranma shook his head, his voice drained of life. "I'm the best of the best. Twelve and a half _years_ of martial arts since before I could even walk. I've beatin' opponents others can only dream of… And how much good did it do me? My life… a _waste._"

"It's not…" Akane returned softly, though her words went largely unheard.

"Some man I turned out to be," She snorted with bitter sarcasm. "Couldn't even kick that cartoon reject's ass."

She stood up abruptly and stepped to the edge. Panic shot through the Tendo girl as she contemplated just what Ranma might have on her mind at this point. Jumping off the roof wouldn't kill the martial artist by any stretch of the imagination. No, she was worried about what the redhead would be doing _after_ that. "Ranma… don't even think about—"

"Killin' myself?" Ranma looked over her shoulder, a dead smile on her face. "Cut my belly open with my Mom's blade?"

Akane blinked. That was pretty much _exactly_ what she had been expecting.

"Nah." Ranma shook her head. "That's too good for me."

Akane opened her mouth to rebuke girl's dark logic, but she was already gone off the roof and into the night.

* * *

**P**eace and quiet.

Normally it was something Ranma Saotome, now head of clan Saotome would have killed for. A break from rivals, a break from fiancées', a break from pressure and most of all, a break from the grind. Today was just such a break…

…In the worst possible way.

The peace and quiet now pervaded the last place he would wish it to, that being the empty living room of her now empty home. No lights were on as she stood alone in the dark, considering her fate. She hadn't won. Being the best hadn't mattered a damn bit. Because she couldn't hack it, they were dead.

A martial artist protects the weak.

_Yeah, so much for that._ _Got_ _Kasumi out, but only because the damn thing let her out._ Silence was the only reply to her missive as she continued to sink deeper into her depression. Thirteen years of marital arts… her entire life _a waste_.

_Time I could have been with Mom._

_Stupid goddamn fucking Panda_, Ranma snarled mentally. If he had known the lazy asshole's martial arts quest would have led them to this point, he would have kicked his ass and said to hell with it all. To hell with the fiancées, to hell with the arranged marriage, to hell with _all_ of it.

The redhead stood in the dark for a moment before crossing the moonlit room, lifting her mother's sheathed katana from the wall mounting. Technically, seppuku was a job best left to a tanto, but she didn't exactly have one handy. Ranma studied the curvature of the sheathed blade, its spackled red and black finish muted by shadow and darkness. Metal hissed softly as she exposed an inch of steel to open air. A katana would work just as well and all the more ironic it would be the family honor blade.

_CliCK!_

_Honor my ass._ Her thoughts hissed bitterly, snapping the katana fully back into its sheath. This is where the Saotome family honor had led them all… Rivals, fiancées and the slaughter of her entire family. _Not just my family honor, either… That pathetic excuse for my old man's best friend had a hand in this too._

Ranma's thoughts took a substantially darker turn as he contemplated Soun Tendo's survival in spite of his own personal greed. _Shoulda died with the panda, not Mom…Maybe I'll finish the job…Then take out that bag of flesh he calls a master for even introducing the assholes to begin with._

The katana fell to the carpeted floor as the blade slipped from her grasp. No, she wouldn't do that, Maybe if it were just Nabiki… But not Akane. Not Kasumi. She wouldn't punish them for the sins of their fathers.

No, that punishment was hers to bear. Punishment for not seeing the world for what it was sooner. Punishment for letting things spiral so far out of control, and punishment for failing to be that which she had proclaimed time and time again.

"The best," She spat, as if the entire concept was an ephitat and sank to the floor. Ranma melted bonelessly to the carpeted as tears began to cloud her eyes. She had failed and her loved ones had suffered…

…Even that bastard father of hers.

* * *

**A**ll things considered, it was the beautiful morning the weather forecaster had predicted, Akane noted on her walk to school. It was all due to an area of high pressure that had settled over Tokyo, keeping the rain at bay and the temperatures pleasantly mild, much like the days before. Sure, there were showers predicted for the weekend, but the remainder of the week promised to blue skies…

…Even if a shroud of darkness hung over her every action. Beside her was Nabiki. The number of times her older sister had actually walked with her to school over the last year could be counted on two hands, but her sibling had escorted her for nearly a week straight without complaint. She knew part of it was a show or moral support. Part of it… There was a part that Akane just couldn't identify, but she appreciated the company none the less.

It was also a quiet day, she observed as they passed through the gates of Furikan High. No martial arts challenges, no betting pools and no 'die Ranma die'. Akane looked about the students socializing in the front courtyard, half of which were looking back at her and her sister expectantly for exactly the same reason she was looking at them. Another scan of the crowd more or less confirmed her suspicions and fears with a sigh. Ranma Saotome was missing, missing for the forth day in a row.

"I'll go check, okay?" Nabiki replied to the unbidden sigh, to which her sister silently nodded. With that affirmation, the middle Tendo backtracked to the edge of the courtyard where a trio of school girls waited. Her face hardened from the looser emotions that played about it into a cool poker face as she got down to business. "What are we looking at?"

"Nothing at the ice cream parlors or restaurants." The first girl reported. Nabiki nodded, turning to the second.

"Same with the bridge." The girl picked up, flipping through a small notebook. "If he's hiding, it isn't there or under it like he usual does."

"Not at Ukyo's or the Cat Café." The third girl rounded out, shaking her head. "Still haven't checked his house. I'm betting—"

"_Nobody_," Nabiki focused on the girl suddenly, bringing her full Ice Queen persona to bear, "but _nobody_ goes near that house." She swept the cold gaze across all three girls. "Is that absolutely clear?"

Of the three girls suddenly finding themselves nodding, only one was able to find their voice. "But… why?"

The Tendo sister considered the inevitable question and answered with an answer she had worked out well in advance. "It's process of elimination. We find Ranma by finding where he isn't. I won't go into details at the moment, but going near that house may very well be hazardous to your health."

She didn't bother mentioning the fact that the hazard to their health existed solely because of their association with her.

"Well, I guess that doesn't stop us from selling the location to—" The same girl continued undeterred, only to find herself on the receiving end of the cold glare once more.

_You're too good of a student, Mono-chan_, Nabiki frowned mentally but kept the full ice queen persona in place.

"-To _nobody_. The only information that you can be privy to at the moment is that something _very_ bad has happened," She stressed her words. "We stir the pot now and the shit will not only roll downhill, but uphill, sideways and upside down before it's all done. I'll make sure you're all well compensated for your efforts, but that's the most you get for now, clear?"

All three girls nodded without objection. "Good," Nabiki purposely dropped the hard edge of her frost demeanor, scanning the trio. "Otherwise, it's any other day. Usa, you've got rumors. Mono, debt collection. Natsume, stay on Kuno."

"Not Kuno!" The dark brown haired girl groaned, shaking her head emphatically. "Have a heart, boss!"

"Sorry for your luck," The girl named Usa snorted. "The Ice Queen doesn't have a heart."

Something about the comment caused part of Nabiki's soul to shrink unexpectedly, but Monoko was already talking before she could analyze it. "I'll take pity on you, Su-chan. I've done rumors for the past three days. I'll trade you, but you'll owe me."

"Anything!"

"Okay with you boss?" Her subordinate asked, eliciting a shrug from the Tendo.

"As long as it gets done. She returned. "I'll be—"

"I said not now, baka!"

All four pairs of eyes were drawn to the angry yell echoing across the court yard as the attention of the entire student body focused on one short haired girl and a taller boy sporting a hamak and bokken. Nabiki sighed, identifying the two easily. "Speaking of Kuno…"

The upper classman broke from the meeting and started toward her younger sister and Furikan's resident idiot. Even if arguing hadn't been heard by the entire student body, it wasn't hard to guess at the contents of their bickering. Surely enough, Tatewake Kuno's reply all but confirmed the matter.

"But I must know!" The kendoist continued his rant already in progress, further angering the youngest Tendo. "The most foul sorcerer hast not appeared at all this week! If he has been laid low, we must strike!"

Nabiki watched the scene play out. Akane cast a glare upon Kuno that only the insane could ignore. Even the people in there immediate vicinity took a step back. "Shut up! Just shut up, shut up, SHUT UP you clueless idiot! You have no idea what's going on! And if you don't shut up, I'll shut your moronic—"

"Sis," Nabiki attempted to force as much calm into the word as possible. Akane's head whipped around and it was all Nabiki could do not to blanch at the fury inhabiting her sister's face as she attempted to draw her off. "I'll take care of Kuno. You hurry on to class, okay?"

The rage settled into simmering anger, acknowledging her elder sister with a crisp nod before burning Kuno with a another glare and departing for the school entrance. The upperclassman failed to take the hint and moved to follow when Nabiki stepped in to block his progress.

"Kuno baby, what's up?" Nabiki smiled easily, a smile that her victim was not fooled by in the least.

"Stand aside, meddlesome Tendo," He ordered imperviously. "Something has my fiery tigress agitate and I must ascertain what!"

"Forget who you're talking to, Kuno?" Nabiki arched an eyebrow skeptically, forcibly reminding the boy just who brokered the information flowing into and out of Furikan. "Perhaps I can help you out without 'agitating' my sister further."

The upper classman adopted a sage look of contemplation. "Mayhaps it is for the best. Your usual rates?"

"Of course. Mono-chan will fill you in on the details while I check on Akane," Nabiki confirmed, turning away from her mark while brushing by Monoko, leaning in with a whisper. "Take his money, lead him around by the nose but keep it vague. You know the drill." Her cohort nodded silently and Nabiki smiled back at the kendoist. "Ja-ne, kuno-chan."

The boy scowled at Nabiki's back with the familiar title, but quickly turned his attention to Mokoto. "Sasuke! My wallet!" The ninja phased into existence next to Kuno, already subserviently bowing while offering the wallet. The Kuno heir took the wallet without a thought and began to pull several tan sheets from it. "The retainer fee."

Mokoto smiled, counting the money. Natsume had no idea what she was missing. _The upper classman may be borderline psychotic, but he pays out like a loose pachinko parlor_, she grinned mentally, then carried out Nabiki's plan. "Nobody has seen Ranma for days and we know for certain he hasn't been by the dojo."

"Truly?" Kuno confirmed, gaining a wild glint in his eyes. "If something has driven the viper from its nest, I must find out what! Hath thou further information?"

Mokoto nodded agreeably. "Only that he hasn't been in the company of any of his other fiancées either. Details are scarce at the moment, but once we learn more—"

"I shall pay any amount!" The upper classman practically burst, brandishing his bokken. "Anything to smite the wretch that would cause my fiery tigress angst! Undoubtedly, it is he that is responsible for the absence of the vibrant pigtailed girl as well!"

Mokoto heard nothing after the words 'any amount' as her eyes tracked the wide fan of cash flailing around within the kendoist grasp. Her brain rebooted seconds later as the rant continued, her mind on an altogether different track now. She glanced over her shoulder, finding neither Nabiki nor her other associates in sight. "Did you say _any_ amount?"

"Of course!" Tatewake confirmed. "No expense is too great in order to spare my goddesses their suffering!"

Mokoto looked over her shoulder again, then smiled a sharks smile before taking the entire wad of cash from Kuno's hand. "Then I might have just the information you require…"

* * *

"**A**nd I still say this is _not_ a good idea."

"And I don't care." Akane returned matter-of-factly continuing her after school trek down an anonymous street of the Nermian suburb. "I'm going to see him."

"But—" Nabiki inserted as she kept pace, only to be cut off by her younger sister.

"But nothing," She retorted. "He can't keep hiding from the world." She stopped short, as if suddenly realizing something. The dark blue haired girl turned on her sister. "Why don't you want to help?"

Nabiki's mouth suddenly went dry. "I…"

"You're not up to something are you?" Akane accused, fixing the girl with a sharp stare. Nabiki's expression went from pensive to offended instantly.

"No!" She wanted to say '_Hell no!_' in reality. Pissing off a super powered martial artist any further than she already had was not at the top of her list of things to do. Still, it was a justified accusation, she realized soberly, and dropped any indignation she was feeling with a sigh. "Look, no. I'm trying to help. I'm feeding the fiancées general, worthless information at the moment. It won't hold forever, but it will last them long enough for us to find out just what's happening with Saotome."

Akane held her gaze for a moment before accepting the answer with a nod, continuing her trek down the sidewalk. "But even I can tell there's something else, sis."

The silence held for another five minutes of walking before Nabiki continued in a subdued tone. "Right now Ranma has a shit list, Akane, and I'm relatively certain Nabiki Tendo is somewhere near the top of it. I'm doing what I can to help, but he's depressed and angry, so I'm not sure it even matters to him."

Akane blinked back at Nabiki. Her sister- the famed Ice Queen of Furikan –was _scared?_ Of _Ranma_? "What makes you think he would even…?"

"That night. With the police, Akane," Nabiki shook her head slowly. "I watched the entire thing when they weren't questioning us. There was nothing in his eyes. _Nothing._ He was frosting the goddamn lawn, sis." The youngest Tendo considered her words in silence as Nabiki continued. "I'm very good at reading people and I know where the line is when dealing with them. That line moved dramatically in the wrong direction that night with Ranma."

"I think you're reading too much into it," Akane commented, barely hiding her amazement that her sister was actually scared of anybody. "You're trying to help and Ranma's never been the vengeful type. Stubborn, reckless, egotistical, mout—" The sister caught herself with a frown, as if she had broken some unspoken pact with herself. "Anyway, he's just not the sort."

Both sisters rounded a street corner and the Saotome household came into view three blocks from their current position. Nabiki suppressed a shiver as Ranma dead eyes reappeared in her own minds eye, and it was only minutes later that Akane was knocking on the Saotome house door.

_I am not looking forward to this,_ Nabiki grumbled mentally. The missive escaped her lips. "I hope you're right, Akane."

Akane spared her a skeptical glance before returning to her knocking. "Ranma! Get out here!" Her fist hammered at the door with another round of thudding. "Ranma! I know you're in there!"

No response. Nabiki shrugged half heartedly. "Guess he's not here after all. Let's go—"

"No more moping! Get out here!" Akane ignored her sister and continued beating the door. "I'll break this door down if you don't get out here! You know I can—"

Her next round knocking met air as the door swung open, causing her to snatch the hand back lest she hit the opener. Even as she did this, Akane couldn't help but to stare at just who had opened the door. It was Ranma in his girl-type… _Sort of_. The girl before them was a bedraggled mess, still in the same clothing she had fled from the Tendos with. The redhead was pale, had bags under her blood shot eyes, her clothing a wrinkled mess and…

"You stink." Akane stated matter of factly. Her blunt observation, however, failed to illicit the response she had been hoping for. The red headed girl eyed both sisters with little emotion then shrugged.

"Probably." She agreed blandly, then focused on her fiancée. "What do you want, Akane?"

Akane was left speechless for a moment before her brain reengaged. "We're here for you, baka."

The red headed martial artist didn't even blink. "And here I am."

Now Akane couldn't help but to stare as irritation began to simmer under a blanket of concern. "We're here to help you, idiot."

The girl slowly shook her head in a lifeless manner. "Don't need your help, 'Kane. Just go home, okay?"

The door began to swing closed, Akane too stunned to stop it. Just like that, she had been dismissed. No witty comebacks. No verbal repartee. Just… Nabiki forced her foot into the door, stopping it from closing completely in order to buy her sister some time. "We're not done helping yet, Saotome."

The door reopened and Nabiki instantly wished it hadn't. The redhead's dead blue eyes held her and this time she couldn't help but to take a step back. It had taken all the courage she could muster to put her foot in the door in order to help her sister recover what was left of the meeting. Prior to that, she had been more than happy to remain unnoticed- _ignored_ –off to the side. Now she was Ranma Saotome's focus and it was the last place she wanted to be.

"Here to help too, huh, Nabiki?" The feminine pitch wasn't angry. It wasn't spiteful. It was just… Emotionless. Dead. "You really don't want to help any more than ya already have."

Nabiki was agreeing emphatically within the confines of her psyche. All in all, he was right. She really didn't want to be here, but she wasn't about to abandon her sister to whatever Ranma was feeling at the moment. "Possibly not, but—"

"PIGTAILED GIRL!"

In that moment, something inside Nabiki curled up and died as Ranma's gaze lost its emotionless features and gained a hard edge without ever looking for the source of the cry. Rarely prone to curse herself, the only words running through her brain at that very moment were "_Oh fuck_."

A quick glance at Ranma's feet confirmed the worst. Frost. "Um, Akane…"

"Aiyah! Why Ranma hide from Shampoo!"

"Ranma honey!"

"So this has been where you've been hiding, Cassanova!"

"I shall save you pigtailed girl!"

"Ohohohohoho! I shall exact revenge for my Ranma-sama!"

Ranma hadn't even turned back to the mob approaching from the street, her gaze locked on the Tendo the entire time. "Leave. _Now_."

Nabiki took a step back and this time, Akane saw exactly what her sister had been afraid of. She was right. Ranma was on the edge. Too close to the edge, and somehow events had just conspired to push him over. For the first time, she was seeing just what her fiancée had become… A person with absolutely nothing to live for and nothing to lose.

"It's not her fault!" Akane blurted, now feeling some measure of her sisters anxiety. "She's been helping!"

"NOW WHERE AM?"

"Helping." It wasn't so much a question as it was a damning accusation despite the flat tone it was spoken in. Akane watched the group approach from multiple vectors, realizing with absolute clarity just how badly this looked for Nabiki and offered a firm nod in her defense. Lifeless blue eyes flicked from fiancée to sister before passing judgment.

The short redhead stepped past the pair without a word to meet the encroaching visitors at the grassy property line. Shampoo bounced happily while Ukyo sent a casual wave forth. Tatewake strode confidentially forth while his sister leaped around behind him, ribbon a-twirl. Mousse began to brandish edged weaponry and Ryoga locked onto the commotion, homing in on the gathering like moth to the flame. Even as the storm continued to gather, Akane was practically screeching a whisper at her sister.

"What the hell is this?" She hissed, causing the older sister to wince. "If you're lying to me…!"

"This is _not_ my doing!" Nabiki shook her head emphatic, part of her offended that such an accusation would even be leveled at her, the other part knowing that in her heart of hearts she deserved it in its entirety. "The only people who even know anything is happening is our family, the police and…" Nabiki's eyes widened. "Dammit, they'll wish they were never even born by the time I'm through with them!"

Even as Nabiki realized the critical flaw in her well intentioned efforts, the perfect martial arts storm was brewing just behind them.

"Hold, fowl curr!"

"Baked you some Okanomiyaki, Ran-chan!"

"Airen no eat pizza, have noodles!"

"Prepare for your demise, redheaded wench!"

"I'll defeat you for Shampoo!"

"I've seen hell because of-_OOF_!"

All talking ceased as Ranma walked up to the strongest martial artist in the group and sucker punched him with every erg of strength she possessed, blowing the air out of his lungs and causing him to vomit painfully as he fell to his knees gagging. The redhead impassively considered the stricken lost boy for a moment before turning her attention to the now shocked gathering. "All engagements are off. Now leave."

Ranma didn't bother to wait for replies and turned on heel, making her way back to the house where she paused beside Akane. "Thanks anyway, Tomboy."

This time there was a measure of sorrow in the girl's voice. She offered the slightest of smiles- heartbreaking in itself –before stepping back inside the house and shutting the door. The bittersweet moment held for a precious moment before all chaos broke loose.

"What—" _cough_, "What the—" _cough_, "the hell was that?"

"It is good that the violent harlot should break off her pursuit of my Ranma-sama."

"Aiyaaaah…"

"Saotome was… Serious."

"Ran…chan?"

"She is free of the dark sorcerer's—"

"SHUT UP." Nabiki commanded in her coldest tone, silencing the group instantly. "Unless you want you want to be eating your next meals through a straw, SHUT. UP."

She turned to Akane, whom she noted was still in shock. _Looks like explanations are up to me…_ She took a deep, weary breath. "Ranma's going through a bad time. A _very_ bad time. Whatever you think you know about Ranma is, as of this moment, wrong."

* * *

**Author's Notes**; Long time in coming, this chapter. had some writer's block in certain areas and took even longer to work up editing, but finally busted through both. Hope you enjoy it. Chapters will alternate present/past, 2kw into ch3.

**1d4 Insults;** _Yes, I realize these references step over the fifth pyramid of writing, But it amuses me. Humor me, please?_

**You Call this Archeology!** _It started completely by accident, but the more I thought on the matter, the more I could see Genma's history being like that of an Indiana Jones like character, sans the good will aspect. It became very easy to see Genma and Soun looting tombs and such at the behest of Happosai, trigging every manner of traps, being chased by villagers, etc etc; allowing the opening scene and other off comments about Genma's past to quickly find their ways into the fic. Hell, it's almost enough to inspire a stand alone fic. _

**Special thanks **_to Amy and Dustin for that little extra oomf. Editing by me, but it was the best I could do just to publish in the here and now. _

* * *

**Age of Titans **  
Pt3_  
Ozzallos_

_Building light,  
The long road.  
Through destinies' peril  
The champions sleep._

**H**otaru Tome settled onto the elevated padded be with a smile as the doctor before her donned his spectacles and returned the smile, then studied the clipboard he bore. The Sneshi of Silence waited patient for him to flip through the sheets of paper attached to the clipboard as he studied the results of his newest round of tests. All things considered, she wasn't fond of doctors in general, but this one was the exception. She had seen many throughout her childhood and most had been unable to help her with her anemic condition while others simply saw her as a guinea pig once they found out about her gift. The slight apprehension created by those memories quickly faded as the doctor before set aside his clip board, and she silently thanked Setsuna-mama for introducing her to this one as he was easily one of the nicest, most honest physicians she had ever met.

The fact that he was so darn cute didn't hurt matters either.

"I'd say the Tai Chi has definitely been helping out." He commented, pushing his glasses up and circling behind her and placed a palm on her left shoulder, moving downward in discrete increments on her back before circling back around the front of her bed and placing the same palm on her forehead. "Have you been feeling much strain?"

"A little, Tofu-san." Hotaru answered honestly. "Is that bad?"

"Not at all." Doctor Tofu smiled reassuringly. "A little strain is to be expected, as long is it just that—A little."

"Just a little." The girl nodded agreeably. "I can take deeper breaths too."

"That is definitely a positive—" The door to their room clicked open, admitting a short redhead who was donning white lab coat even as she stepped across the threshold.

"You wouldn't believe the traffic today." The woman sighed, still not having looked up from fishing a stethoscope out of the coat pocket. "It was the best I could do just to—"

"Aunt Saotome!"

"Ooff!" Ranma lurched as Ono's patient hopped of the bed and wrapped the new arrival in a cruching hug that seemed quite at odds with her frail nature. Ranma smiled fondly at the girl, patting her gently on the head. "Well now this is a welcome surprise. And how is my favorite patient today?"

Hotaru induldged in the hug a moment longer before answering. "Doctor Tofu say I'm getting better."

"Well I could have told you that and I'm not even a doctor." The woman scruffed the girl's head once more before extracting herself from the embrace. "You've definitely gotten stronger since I last saw you. The Tai Chi?"

Hotaru nodded and Ranma cast a glance at the doctor, who also nodded. "Her immune system is also picking up. Assuming we keep up the pressure points, I would expect her to reach the point where we won't be able to tell the difference between Hotaru and a normal fourteen year old girl."

"Aunt Cologne will be happy to hear it." The doctor's assistant smiled down at the girl. "You've got a lot of people looking forward to your recovery, you know?"

Hotaru was beaming now. This was why she loved this doctor's office… Doctor Tofu was the nicest physician she had ever met and Ms. Saotome treated her a little sister. Ono watched the touching reunion and made a decision. "I'm sure you can handle Miss Tomei here, Ranma. I'll go take care Mrs. Nakari."

Ranma nodded a silent thanks and shooed the girl back to her table. "From that hug, I can tell you're keeping up with your therapy. How about school?" Ranma circled back around behind the table. "Shirt, please."

Hotaru unbuttoned the shirt easily, reveailing a plain white bra and pale flesh. Ranma pressed her fingers lightly to the base of her spine, following the lines of ki. "Okay, I guess. I'm doing good on my tests, but geography is…" Her voice trailed off, gaining a bit of uncertainty.

"MMMmmm?" Ranma probed with exaggerated interest, then poked at a nerve cluster along her sixth vertabra as if to emphasis the point. In reality, is was a particularly nasty clump of chi gathering along her ki pathways. If not delt with, the clump would sap the girl's energy and weaken her, much as others had already done. Eight months ago her entire system had been clogged with the anamolies.

Today, they had reduced the blockages to only three primary clusters while simultaneously building her stamina. Between what she knew of Ono's school and the Cologne's techniques, she had been knocking them out steadily while building her stamina with the Tai Chi… The theory was that while she was knocking out the big stuff, her own physiology would keep up the new status quo. Ranma poked at the same cluster, and inch to the right.

Hotaru shook her head as a wave of dizziness accompanied the pokes, a sensation she was well familiar with by now. She regained her equilibrium and answered. "I'm… not doing so well in geography… The teacher says I should concentrate more, but…"

Ranma's fingers moved away from the cluster and continued their journey up the school girl's spine, idly wondering what was causing the part time Senshi consternation. If it had been her in geography, the lapse in concentration would easily be explained by her being bored out of her skull. Ranma chuckled at the memory, but then, this was Hotaru. Gentle, studious and an all around attentive person. She new after seven months of pressure point, acupuncture and shiatsu therapy that Hotaru was the last person to—Her brain bridged the gap.

"It's the boys again, isn't it?" The senshi produced the slightest of nods and Ranma frowned. A senshi she may be, but she hadn't had it easy in a child. Among the many speed bumps along the way had been people finding out about the girl's gift, either treating her as a freak or case study along the way. It was a feeling Ranma herself knew all too well. "Well, I imagine they'll grow out of it eventually, realize what a petty girl you are and ask you out, but until then then…"

"Some…Some of the girls, this time, too." Hotaru frowned, then watched with wonder as her physician's mood brightened.

"Well that's not so bad then." Ranma replied encouragingly, her fingers tracking across the middle of her spine to the left side of her back, pressing three points lightly in rapid succession. "Girls tend to be more specific about their dislikes, usually because you're prettier or so something better then them. I've found it's even worse if a guy is involved."

"Ah… I see?"

The redhead nodded, continuing her work along her ki pathways. "Just look at it this way… They are either jealous because of your looks, you are doing something better than them or you have the attention of a guy they like."

Hotaru blinked as everything suddenly came into focus. Was it really that simple? They… _Envied_ her?

"Hold on to the edge, little Firefly," Ranma advised softly and Hotaru's hand found the mattress lip, knowing what was about to occur. A particularly large clump of chi, as it had been related to her in past treatments and Miss Saotome was about to break it up. If past experience was any indication, it wouldn't be a pleasant-

The world abruptly tipped over on its side and a gentle hand found her shoulder to keep to keep from falling off the bed with the sudden case of vertigo. Another sharp press And the vertigo abruptly disapated and the wobbling girl was left blinking. The redheaded adult peerer around the disoriented girl with an apologetic look. "That one was rather deep. Are you okay?"

"I... Yes, I'll be fine," She returned, still gathering her wits. Removing the clumps of chi was never fun, but it was a temporary inconvience... Not at first, though. When they first started the treatments, she would throw up almost violently and the Miss Saotome would be ready with the garbage can. These days, it was just dizziness.

"Good. That was the last one," A smile melted onto her physician's face, and she wandered away from the table to open a drawer. Ranma removed a length of bundled purple cloth, and Hotaru recognized it immeditely, shifting positions to lay down on the bed she had sat upon. The woman nodded, unfurling the cloth to reveal twelve silvered lengths. "Time for the needles."

_The needles_, Hotaru reflected. Acupuncture, the second part of therapy. needles in anybody elses hands were something to be feared. She had been to other doctors and their needles, usually consisting of sharp jabs and stinging pricks. Miss Saotome, however, was a master. Their effects were felt , but the needles never were, and she almost always felt better after their employment.

"I was surprised you weren't with the girls Thursday," The woman continued easily, her finger tracing down the girl's back in precise intervals. Those, Hotaru felt. The needles, on the other hand... She could have had ten of them in her back and not know they were even there. "Usagi was happy to partake of your share of Tin Roof, however."

The news almost made Hotaru want to cry, but she settled for a sigh instead. "Haruka-papa's was racing that day... Michiru-mama and i were cheering her on."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**_ And there was a wail and gnashing of teeth. It's not that I don't like this fic, it's just I have time of finite quantity and there are other fics i'd like to work on more. if you would like to take this fic over, be my guest. If you are sending me a PM asking to take this fic over, I know you haven't read this and won't respond :) This is house cleaning and there will be a few others to follow._


	29. Bits of China

**Foreword: **Sorry about the alerts, folks. Shuffling fics around for spring cleaning.**  
**

**Ranma ½ - Bits of China**  
Alt Fanfic  
By Ozzallos

Part 1

**Chapter I**

** "S**tupid ol' man." Ranma Saotome grumbled as they trod down another dirt road somewhere through the interior of China. The training mission had not gone well and there was exactly one person to blame.

The redheaded girl cast another glare at the giant Panda walking beside her and her stomach growled, a not-so-subtle reminder of just how well things hadn't been going. Sure, here's a great idea! Let's swim across the Sea of Japan to find a legendary training ground! And while we're there, let's take in all the sights, sights like 'Spring of Drowned Girl' and 'Spring of Drowned Panda'! Not exciting enough? How about starving to death on the trail because somebody didn't pack enough supplies or bring enough money! Ha ha! No big deal, we can always steal what we need. Think of it as a Martial Arts exercise, Boy!

In fact, 'not gone well' was a serious understatement, Ranma snorted sarcastically. 'Horribly wrong' would be a more accurate assessment of their current situation, which basically consisted of wandering aimlessly down some rugged trail for eight days without food. Oh, and lets not forget that I'm a girl now too. Stupid ol' man. At least he got the panda puddle. Deserved worse. As if bidden by his thoughts, the aforementioned panda stopped suddenly and produced a wooden sign that read:

"Break camp!"

Ranma nodded, and the two ambled off the side of the road, through the dense vegetation and into a small clearing. Ranma unpacked the essentials and lit a fire, slowly warming a pan of water over it. For all of their other problems, water had been in plentiful supply. It was a mixed blessing however. While the frequent rainstorms kept them hydrated- and thus alive -It also had this nasty habit of activating their curse. Cold water 'on', hot water 'off'. Hot water was, of course, the scarcer of the two, which meant both father and son were getting used to their cursed forms quite unwillingly.

Finally the water had reached a suitable temperature and the Panda snatched it off the wire set, dousing himself completely. Before Ranma now sat his old man in a karate gi and glasses, who had considerately left absolutely no hot water for his own curse.

"Thanks a bunch, Pops." Ranma female timber quipped irritably, drawing more water to be heated for his girl's body.

"Hmmf." Genma Saotome shrugged with indifference. "Stop acting like a girl, Ranma. A real martial artist must be ready to endure hardship-"

"Day or night. Yeah, yeah." The girl blew him off. It was a speech she had heard many times to rationalize any number of screw-ups the old man made. Even as she put the pan of water over the fire, thunder rumbled in the distance, causing her to smile. She dumped the water out and stood up. "I'm going to scrounge for food. Enjoy the fire." _While it lasts_, she added mentally, walking off into the rainforest.

* * *

Ranma was ten minutes out from their impromptu campsite when the downpour began, torrential walls of rain soaking anything and everything. Everything included one redheaded martial arts prodigy, but this time she didn't mind. The old man got his, no doubt about it. No way was he going to stay dry in this stuff, she thought, holding an overly large palm leaf overhead. It was a poor excuse for an umbrella, but better than nothing. And better than Pops probably had at the moment, she grinned evilly.

The storm died out quickly as she knew it would, allowing Ranma to continue her hunt for food. She could almost predict them like clockwork after four months in the wild with nothing but the pack on her back, she noted wryly. She did have to give the old man his due on that particular score- It _was_ excellent survival training. Totally unorthodox and completely unnecessary, but there were merits to it. Slim ones. Very, very slim ones.

It was now an hour and a half into her search for food, and the best she had been able to find was some unidentifiable berries. Ranma looked them over, very tempted to pop a few in her mouth, but she wasn't _that_ foolish. They could be anything- including some nasty poisoning -so she stuck them in a little pouch and kept moving. The redhead was just crossing a small stream when she heard the sharp _twang!_ of metal against metal echo up the hillside. Ranma instantly went to high alert, easily recognizing the sound of one blade biting into another. She went to a low crouch now, tuning her senses through the ambient jungle noise and heard more of the sharp sounds. Pitched battle, she thought, as they continued. Still a ways off though. I could head back to camp, no one the wiser. Or I could see just who is having a sword fight in the middle of a stinkin' Chinese rainforest, she smiled, finding that particular option much more appealing than sitting with the Panda. Heck, maybe they'll even have food.

'They' did, as it turned out, and she watched the fight continue from the forests' edge. Ranma spied as a purple haired Chinese girl wielding oversized bambori continued to repel attacker after attacker in a series of one on one duels. She was pretty decent, the redhead observed, but the food was by far more interesting. It was a veritable banquet and nobody was touching it. In fact, nobody was even looking at it. All eyes were on the puffy haired Chinese girl as she proceeded to pound another opponent into submission. I could sneak in, Ranma thought as her entire being began to center around the sucking hole in her stomach. In and out. They'd never notice a few dishes gone.

She began to take a step out of the forests' edge and stopped as a voice echoed from the depths of her skull. "_Be a man, Ranma! A real martial artist must be prepared to do whatever it takes to survive!_" Wheels began to turn in her brain. Even steal, pops? Where's the honor in that? "_But you're starving!_" Another voice echoed from the same pit. "_Who's gonna notice?_"

"Damn you, old man!" She growled softly as she folded to her knees, clutching her head. "Git out of my head!"

"_That's just like a girl, Pathetic and weak!_" Ranma's fist pounded the dirt. It's your fault, Pops! All of it! I won't steal for you! "_Do it! Prove your worth to me, boy!_"

"I said **NO!**" she punched the ground once more, leaving a sizable dent this time. She stared at the dirt and her fist buried into it. The voices were silent. Her breathing finally began to return to normal and she smiled thinly. Take that ol' man. Then she noticed the shadows. Rain shouldn't be here for another- She looked up and into the eyes of one purple haired Chinese girl flanked by two exceptionally masculine women, swords hanging loosely off their belts. The trio was all business. Ranma called upon her exceptional linguistic skills to solve the problem facing her.

"Um, eh… Nihao?"

* * *

**Chapter II**

**T**he redhead was led- with some degree of deference, she noticed -to the center of the village, where a mostly female crowd awaited the arrival of the interloper. It was all Chinese, but Ranma knew insults and heckling when she heard 'em and the mob threw them in earnest. She was prodded into the center where the crowd had opened the space in a loose circle, and from it, the purple Chinese girl appeared on the opposite side, unarmed.

She squeaked something in mandarin. And Ranma simply stared. The dialogue was obviously directed at her but she didn't have a clue as to the content.

"Uh, I don't speak…" More high-pitched mandarin cut her off, and the Chinese girl was looking more than just annoyed now. Ranma shrugged wearily. It wasn't as if she was looking to piss these people off, but she couldn't understand a word-

"She wants to know why you have trespassed on the lands of the Joketsuzoku Amazons." A gravelly female voice came from behind her. Ranma spun around to find an old woman balanced gracefully on the tip of a cane, her large eyes framed by a mane of gray hair that fell behind a green robe. The fact that the other amazons weren't crowding her didn't go unnoticed by Ranma.

Ranma looked from the Chinese girl to the old woman, probably some sort of elder, and answered, "I… I had no idea I was in your land…" Then some survival instinct kicked in at the last moment and she added, "…Honored elder."

The old woman relayed the information to the crowd and the girl, who rippled with angry sentiment. What that sentiment was exactly, Ranma couldn't tell. But the tone was clear enough.

The girl belted out another round of mandarin and Ranma turned back to the Elder for a translation. "She says that you must be a scout from another tribe." The Elder's gaze narrowed on the redhead.

"N-No!" Ranma took a step back. "That's not it at all!"

The Elder didn't bother translating as her physical reaction communicated everything the rest of the tribe needed to know. "Then why are you here?" She prompted.

Ranma sighed. Here it is, the story of her life. It would either make her or break her with these people. "I'm on a martial arts training mission from Japan. I was told," She didn't bother to add who had told her, she thought cynically, "That there were many techniques to be learned in China. As to why I'm here," Ranma set a depressed shrug. "I'm so lost it's not even funny."

The Elder turned to address the Chinese girl and the crowd as a whole, rattling through the translation. Another round of incomprehensible murmurs rippled though the crowd, though the tone wasn't hostility this time much to Ranma's surprise. Respect? Empathy? Even the Chinese girls' face was reflecting those same emotions. What the…?

The Elder saw the confusion in Ranma's face. "You are a Warrior Women among a village of Warrior Women, stranger. We are the Amazons of Joketsuzoku and a training sojourn such as yours is not to be taken lightly." Her gaze narrowed once more on the redhead. "However, all have their place in this village and as a warrior, you are bound by our edict."

"What… does that mean?"

"It means you shall fight for your place among us, redheaded warrior." The Elder answered firmly

"I didn't come here to-"

"It does not matter what you came her to do or not to do." The old lady cut her off decisively. "Win and accept your place as an equal. Lose and become our slave… Or _die._"

Ranma's eyes widened as The Elder presumably relayed the conversation to the rest of the village, which promptly began cheering raucously. Oh crap, Ranma thought and their circle began to widen for the impending duel. They're serious about this. Well she sure as hell wasn't going to be a slave and dying was the pits too, so…

"Just what are the rules to this duel anyway?" She asked the elder, who had been talking to one of the crowd.

"Anything goes. To the death, depending on the mood of your opponent." The elder stated and was slightly surprised to see a tiny smile creeping across the strangers face for the first time since her capture.

"Anything goes, huh?" Her blue eyes were flashing now with an edge of steel in them. "I think I can handle that."

Ah, a true warrior then, the old woman realized and acknowledged her with a smile in return. "Then your opponent is Shampoo."

Ranma stepped further into the ring and the purple haired Amazon warrior- Shampoo -did likewise. She sized the girl up, remembering the scene as she had spied on the girl from the bushes. Ranma hadn't seen much of her hand-to-hand abilities, but she knew the Amazon was fast. She didn't bother to bow to her opponent, as the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts didn't practice such niceties. Instead Ranma dropped into combat stance to indicate her readiness and the Amazon smiled, doing likewise. The crowd went silent as they waited for the first move.

Shampoo lunged and the duel was joined.

The purple haired Amazon was every bit as fast as Ranma remembered and the arc of her fingers knifed in for the first attack, riding along the girls arm and body in a graceful line. Ranma slid to the left in a trail of dust, allowing the arm to arrow by before bringing her own fist high to deflect the attack skyward. It connected but not at full force because at the same moment, the edge of Shampoo's right palm swept in for hard chop. The redhead pulled away from opening up the Amazon's guard completely and ducked low. Even as the palm chopped away at nothingness, Ranma was already on the way down, turning her low dodge into a spinning sweep which gathered nothing but dust, the Amazon having hopped lightly back. Ranma recovered and flipped back to open the distance. Both combatants dropped back into their stances to consider their next moves.

The Elder was impressed. This redhead _was_ a Warrior. While Shampoo was still young, she was by no means a pushover and considered one of the leading candidates to someday rule the tribe itself. The tournament they had found this stranger at was evidence of that, as most of her opponents went down within the first thirty seconds to a minute. This match might go for considerably long unless she had totally misread the skill of the redhead's opening moves.

The Amazon was smiling now and Ranma recognized it as one of mutual respect. She returned the compliment then went on the offensive, launching herself into a high flip. Ranma completed the first arc and fully extended her right leg on the downward cycle, narrowly missing the Chinese girl who rolled away quickly. The redhead wasn't done yet however, and shifted the momentum around so that leg follow her, meeting the arm Shampoo had thrown up hastily in order to block the kick meant for her head. It was a solid hit, but Shampoo used the force of it to slide back, launching herself back to her feet. Ranma came up as well, but not quite fast enough to retain the initiative and the Amazon began a series of kicks. Ranma was dodging and deflecting each one, but losing ground in the process. The next kick came in as a feint and Shampoo instead used that momentum to spin and thrust two fingers into redhead's shoulder.

Warning blasted through Ranma's mind as she brought up her guard and fell for the feint, now out of position for the incoming attack. She watched the two fingers extend and she knew the attack for what it was- A pressure point, one that would probably render her entire left arm useless if it connected. Instead of backing away, she pushed into the attack and slid sideways. The surprised Amazon had expected a retreat, not a step forward, and it threw her timing off. The fingers connected and Ranma's entire arm screamed with needle sharp pain. Even as her brain registered the agony and deadness, part of it smiled as the Chinese girl's miscalculation left her entire right midsection wide open. Ranma's palm cracked into Shampoo's ribcage with considerable force and the redhead continued her slide in, rounding the strike off with a savage elbow. She jumped skyward for a roundhouse kick but the Amazon had already gone low, rolling away and breaking contact.

Ranma's left arm was now dead, but it had been payed for in cash as Shampoo recovered back into a fighting stance, heavily favoring her right side. There were definitely broken bones in there, Ranma observed coolly. My left arm for her ability to breath well. Not a bad trade all in all.

Both combatants were now grinning ferally through their pain and launched at one another simultaneously, Ranma planting a hand to the earth to launch skyward while Shampoo arced in with knife-like grace. Both warriors came together in a deadly flow, rolling and twisting as their attacks were blocked, countered and renewed. The combat was pure and deserved the complete silence of the Amazons watching over them, one warrior entwined with the other in a dance of death that had become much more.

The redhead had just reversed the Amazon's attacking arm when it hit her- Ranma lost her grip on the girl as her guts twisted inside out with cramps, probably due to severe malnutrition. She knew she had pushed her body too hard in this condition and now was going to pay for it. Even the momentum of her attack faltered as her entire midsection began to explode in pain. Shampoo watched her guard fall and delivered a decisive palm to Ranma's chest, blowing her opponent back ten feet before sliding to a stop at the edge of the Amazon circle. Ranma struggled to right herself as the Chinese girl arced in for her final attack, but her body wouldn't cooperate between the pain and battle damage. She propped herself on a knee as the Chinese girl closed the distance. Ranma knew she wasn't going to make it up in time.

Shampoo covered the final few feet, but slid to halt in a cloud of dust at the last second. She floated back out of range and considered her battered opponent from a defensive guard. After a few more seconds of observation, Ranma watched as she turned to the stick elder and rattled something off in mandarin. The elder responded by hopping into the ring, finally balancing above Ranma. She too made her own observations before turning to turning to the crowd with a proclamation Ranma couldn't hope to understand. She finally made it to her feet, but knew she was probably looking as badly as she felt. The Elder finished her speech and the entire crowd of women- and a scant few man -Burst into applause and cheering.

Again, the old women read the expression of confusion on the girl's face. "You have acquitted yourself quite well, young warrior. You are an _Equal_ among us."

* * *

**Chapter III**

**"B**ut… She had me…" She stared at Shampoo, then at the elder. The circle had collapsed as the women intermingled with one another, undoubtedly discussing the most excellent duel they had just witnessed. An uncrowded circle of respect, however, was maintained around them at all times.

"Indeed she did, young one," The elder agreed, "But it would have been a dark stain on her honor to strike one down who hasn't had a meal in over a week or shelter for longer."

An Amazon from the crowd offered Ranma a walking stick and began to look over her wounds. A similar attendant found Shampoo. "That obvious, huh?"

The Elder chuckled. "Not at all. You hide it well. So well that my Grand daughter didn't even notice until the last possible second." A warm smile crept across her face. "And that is an honor that you bestow upon us in and of itself, fighting in that condition and still displaying such prowess without asking quarter."

Ranma winced as the woman she was guessing was a healer spread some whitish salve across one of several open wounds. "Grand daughter?" She looked at the purple haired girl who was having her ribs attended to. The Amazon produced a friendly smile and nodded, apparently aware of the conversation's general direction.

"Yes." The Elder nodded. "And since you have been deemed worthy to receive such, I am named Cologne, an Elder on the Village Council."

Ranma's mental process stopped momentarily as her words sank in. Not just an honored elder, one of _the_ honored elders. She silently thanked whatever had sent that tiny bit of intuition to curb her normally sharp personality that was the result of too much time on the road with Pops, no doubt.

She bowed as best she could through her pain, leaning heavily on the walking stick. "Thank you, Honored Elder. I'm Ranma Saotome." She didn't find it necessary to throw around the fact that she was the heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts just quite yet. Or the fact that she was really a guy. Something told her that would _not_ be a welcome revelation in this village of warrior women.

Cologne considered the young girl in front of her carefully. This one was indeed fine stock. Highly skilled for her age, polite to her elders and without a doubt, the heart of an Amazon Warrior. And some of her moves had been quite exotic, while she could swear she'd seen one or two of them somewhere before. And who knows how that duel would have turned out if the girl had been at her peak and not suffering from malnutrition. Of course, she favored Shampoo, but it would have been a glorious duel regardless.

The Elder began weighing her options. Yes, a way must be found to absorb this one into the tribe. Simply recognizing her as an equal wouldn't be enough. She would continue on her sojourn and be gone from us forever. By the worn look of her gi, she has obviously been on the trail for many weeks, if not months without respite. And nearly ten days without any real food. It probably wasn't the first time, either. Yes. That is the way, she thought. We shall bind her to us. Feed her, clothe her and teach her our ways. She is looking for Chinese techniques, of which we have plenty. We shall adopt her into the tribe and perhaps through my grand daughter and this one, break the back of The Musk for good.

Cologne broke from her scheming to find Ranma and Shampoo laughing at one another as the two compared their injuries, seeing who could produce the most pain with a single poke. Cologne smiled, watching the pair. And that is exactly how I'll do it.

* * *

Later that evening, Shampoo invited her new friend to the banquet table that was her prize for winning the Tournament Ranma had watched earlier. It was her right to do so, and Ranma Saotome happily- no, _eagerly_-accepted. Shampoo smiled as the redhead profusely thanked her and tore into the food.

"I like her, Grandmother." She stated simply in mandarin. "She's a very nice girl. Quite funny too, even if I can't understand a word she says."

Cologne chuckled, watching Ranma as well. "Yes, she is quite animated, isn't she?"

Shampoo giggled. "And an excellent martial artist." Her smile faltered slightly. "She would have been very tough at full power."

Her grandmother nodded. "Indeed. So what say you?"

The Amazon looked from her Grandmother to her new friend. "It would be sad to see her go so soon, but her journey will carry her away from us."

"As I would expect." Cologne looked at her granddaughter with tender concern. Of course there were tactical considerations to be made in binding the redhead to the tribe, but there was an equally valid non-tactical reason as well- Shampoo had a severe deficit of friends. The child was probably one of the best martial artists of her generation born in the village, and that climb to the top hadn't been an easy one. Along the way were bitter duels, rivalries and occasional bodies, but very few friends. Such was the way of the Amazon. But this redhead was not of the Amazon. The same rules did not apply in their entirety and the bond of friendship had already been made through blood. Yes, this will fit every angle perfectly.

She leaned over to Ranma, switching to Japanese. "Saotome, how long do you expect your sojourn to last?"

Ranma paused before taking another bite out of her chicken wing. "Jeez, I'm not sure, wandering around aimlessly like this." She thought about for a second. "Six months. Maybe a year if something interesting turns up or we get lost some more."

_"We?"_

Cologne watched as two emotions crossed Ranma's face simultaneously: embarrassment and disgust. "Uh, yeah. My old man's camping out in the hills. I left him out there while hunted for food."

The Elder listened and watched Ranma as all pretense of politeness was dropped on the subject of his father. At least she had a healthy grasp of a man's station in the grand scheme of things- Left at home to clean while the female does the hunting. She turned to Shampoo and rattled off something in Chinese, who replied in turn. Ranma looked at the Purple-haired Amazon whose eyes were lit with concern.

"She asks if that was the demon you were wrestling with when you were first captured?" Cologne translated the question. Even Shampoo had seen the change in the redhead's body language.

Ranma looked at Grandmother and daughter. She could easily deny it, but she hadn't lied to them yet and so far she'd come away pretty good on the deal, so why start now? "Yeah. It was."

Another lever, Cologne noted silently, and flipped it just to see what would happen. "You could bring him to the Village here. We have ample-"

"_No._" Ranma cut the elder off firmly. "He may be my father but that doesn't mean I'll make excuses for him. He'd use me to rob you blind and make off with the goods behind your back."

"If our women caught him stealing, he'd be gutted and left for the buzzards!" Cologne stated with incredulity. "No _man_ would foolish enough to cross an Amazon!"

"All the more reason to keep him out there." Ranma jabbed a thumb back into the wilderness, and took a bite of the wing she'd kept waiting.

Such excellent leverage, Cologne marveled silently. That would come in very handy if needed in the future.

"Then I have a proposition for you, Saotome." The redhead put the wing aside this time, turning her full attention to the elder. "You are on a mission to learn secret Chinese techniques. The Amazon Tribe of Joketsuzoku just happens to be in possession of many such techniques." Shampoo watched the two silently, wondering what grandmother was up to and Ranma leaned closer with interest. "I offer to teach these you these techniques for as long as you want- or are_ allowed _-to stay." She added the last part as a subtle reminder of her father's invisible leash.

"R-Really?" Ranma's eyes widened. Screw the old man, I'll stay here until I learn 'em all!

Cologne watched the anticipation roll off the girl. Ah, she seeks knowledge with an appetite. _Even better._ And now the lynchpin. "Of course, I would need to make you a formal member of the tribe and teach you our ways. I'm sure you understand we can't teach our techniques to outsiders and only to people we absolutely trust. Would that be a fair and equitable arrangement?"

Ranma went for it hook, line and sinker. I mean, how bad could it possibly be, she thought. Food, a roof and all the techniques you wanna learn. Heck, could probably even spar with Shampoo. She's almost as good as me in my girl body. "Y-Yeah. Sure, what do I have to do?"

The elder nodded at Ranma and hoped to her cane and up onto the table, gaining the attention of the diners. She rattled off a mandarin speech that sounded dreadfully formal. Ranma looked of to her right and watched as Shampoo's eyes continued to widen, a silent 'oh!' forming at her lips. Cologne finished by tapping her cane on the table with a resounding rap, as if to formalize whatever she had just got done saying. With it, the entire table of women jumped up and cheered for Ranma, who was very confused at this point. She looked at Shampoo once more and her wide-eyed trance was broken as she locked onto Ranma. She broke out into a huge smile and bounced onto Ranma to hug her, squeeling wildly.

"What in the world did you say to them?" Ranma paniced, looking up at Cologne.

"I told them from this day forward you and Shampoo are sword maidens, sisters in battle and friendship. Ranma Saotome, you are now _Joketsuzoku Amazon._"

* * *

**Chapter IV**

** I**t took a couple days before her Amazon doctor pronounced her fit to hike, but when she did, Ranma packed some supplies, food for her father and set out. Those few days had been enough to burn off most of the resentment she had been feeling toward the old man, especially after being well fed and provided new clothing, both which she hadn't seen in a long time. At the moment she was wearing a traditional red silk Chinese shirt and black pants, both courtesy of her new sword-maiden sister, she chuckled at the thought. _Sister._ Who woulda guessed.

She stepped into the campsite, finding the smoldering campfire and Pops sleeping next to it. "Hey, wake up ol' man!" Genma Saotome yawned obliviously and turned over. Looks pretty well fed for somebody that should be staving for ten days now, she observed dryly. Ranma gave the sleeper a light kick. "I said get up, Pops, or I'll eat all this food myself."

Genma's eyes popped wide open. "Food?" He sat up to see his son holding a basket.

She sat down and shoved it over to him. "Yep. Real stuff, not berries and twigs."

The Father tore the basket open and found that his son had indeed struck pay dirt. Chicken, sausage, rolls, pork buns. "Where in the world did you get all this?"

It was a rhetorical question Ranma realized as he was already stuffing his face with food without care as to the answer. She answered anyway just to see the reaction. "Oh, the Joketsuzoku Amazons."

Genma's eyes widened and he spit half the food out of his mouth, the other half he chocked on. Yep, she smiled inside. That was the reaction she was looking for. "Are you crazy boy? If they catch you stealing from them them…!"

"…I'd be gutted and left for the buzzards, yeah I know." Then Ranma winked. "But I didn't steal it."

"Then how'd you get it, boy?" Genma now sat up, intently curious. The new clothing hadn't gone unnoticed either. Genma plowed a roll into his mouth, awaiting the answer.

"Um, well, I got captured, fought the grand daughter of a council elder and became her friend." She paused momentarily, as if trying to remember it all. "Yep. That's about it."

The father blinked. Yeah. That's it. Then he began turning it all over in his mind. "Hmmm, maybe we can work this to our advantage…"

Saw that one coming, she mentally laughed without humor. "Probably not a good idea, Pops."

"Why not?"

She sniffed dryly. "First and like you said, they'd hunt you to the ends of the Earth and string you up. But thinking that you still might want to try it, you gotta remember they're Amazons. I don't dare let 'em know I'm really a guy, let alone bring another one in there." Ranma looked at her father now intently now. "You heard how they treat their guys?" Genma shook his head and Ranma answered. "_Like wives._"

With that train of thought shut down, Genma clearly wasn't happy. "Then there's no point in sticking around."

Now all she had to do was convince him… "But they've got those Chinese techniques we've been looking for!"

"Really?"

"Really." Ranma confirmed. "Got the Elder to promise me to teach em since me and her daughter are friends."

"HA!" Genma snorted suddenly. "That's my boy! But I can't stay out here forever while you learn 'em."

Ranma pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded in her pants. "Gotcha covered." She handed it to her Father, who unfolded what looked to be a hand drawn map. "That's the closest civilization, about fifteen miles south. Should be able to stay there."

"Excellent, boy!" Genma complimented. "You learn those techniques and pick me up when you're done!"

"I'll keep you posted!"

Ranma smiled as they both packed up, walking in different directions. Normally she might have felt a twinge of guilt using her father like she just had, but his conscious promptly quieted upon finding the wrapper of a power bar at the perimeter of their campsite. So he _was_ holding out on me… _Jerk._ She walked off, watching storm clouds form in the distance. Ranma smiled and pulled out the red bamboo umbrella Shampoo had loaned her for the trip. _Have fun, Pops._

* * *

"Today lesson Amazon law." Shampoo stated as Ranma struggled to keep up with her mandarin. It wasn't that she was speaking like an uncivilized lout; just that Ranma could only catch every other word. In fact, it was _Ranma_ speaking like the uncivilized lout. The last two months had done wonders for her vocabulary as her integration into the Tribe had embarked the redhead on a crash course in language immersion. But whatever her progress in mandarin, her combat studies were proceeding at a fine clip as Shampoo and various members of the tribe began teaching her the subtle arts of pressure points.

"Amazon Law?" Ranma blinked and her sister smiled. She thought she knew Amazon law. She had seen enough of it, after all. The village was a warrior class system that leaned heavily on the concept of 'survival of the fittest' without taking it to its self-destructive conclusion. The female was definitely the dominant sex in the society whereas the men were kept subservient and ignorant, useful for little more than tending the village and mating. Even she couldn't help but to take a poor view of these pathetic excuses that were labeled men. No, not Men, she amended. _Males._ There was a world of difference between the two. Of course, she dare not expose her curse to anybody in the tribe for that very reason. She was a Man, a real man and not one of these tribe males, but she doubted her friends would make the distinction, as it was hardwired into their brains from birth.

That aside, Ranma had observed that the tribe operated much like a wolf pack. There was a hierarchy maintained through mutual combat and duels, the winner retaining rank and precedence over the loser. It was an easy system to understand, one through which Ranma had established herself as an Alpha Female along side Shampoo several times over since her arrival. After the initial buzz of her duel with Shampoo and subsequent naming as sisters, a few of the other women apparently thought that Ranma was easy pickins. After all, Shampoo had her dead to rights in that duel, so putting her in her place should have been easy, right? With a full belly and a roof over her head for the first time in months, the new redhead corrected that assumption with a vengeance, and it was now going on two weeks since her last challenge. Apparently, the sound thrashing she had given her last opponent had sent a message to the other women. In fact, her self-control slipped during that duel, causing her to ruthlessly pound the Amazon into the dirt. Normally she allowed her challengers some quarter. This one received none and the judges had to call the duel closed before she broke her victim for life. But the message was loud and clear: _Don't screw with the new girl._ Ironically, the ritual duelings produced very little in the way of hard feelings and Ranma often found herself working with the same tribe members she had only hours ago defeated in battle as if it were a fact of life. It _is _a fact of life here, she corrected herself. I'd better get used to it.

"Sister know most Amazon Laws," The purple haired girl waved the question aside, knowing her sibling's thoughts well enough by now. After all, the last two month had been a crash course in Amazon language and etiquette for the redhead. "Shampoo teach Kiss of Death."

Kiss of Death…? Ranma mouthed silently. "Sounds…painful."

Shampoo nodded seriously. "If Amazon defeat by outside woman, Kiss of Death only way of honor." Ranma listened intently as she continued. "Only kill outsider restore honor."

Ranma was visibly taken back. That was kind of… Extreme "But…_WHY?_"

"Amazon rank determined by duel." Shampoo explained and Ranma nodded, well familiar with this particular nuisance of Amazon hierarchy. "If outsider win, put entire tribe at risk. Outsider have opportunity to control. No let happen, seal breach with life if need. Retain personal honor."

Ranma nodded, understanding the concept. Highly extreme, but logical given the structure of Amazon society. Defeat a few key Amazon's and you might just be able to insert yourself into a position of power under the right circumstances. Granted, she couldn't imagine what those circumstances could be for the life of her, but it did make some sort of sense.

"What if Ranma defeat Shampoo in first duel?" She asked tentatively. "Shampoo give kiss of death?"

Ranma's sister shook her head. "No, different. Duel determine Ranma as equal. Honorable, no threat to tribe ranking. Both agree on duel." Shampoo smiled and Ranma smiled back.

Two months had seen both girls grow close, and Ranma absently noted that her friendship was becoming much like that of her childhood friend, Ucchan. The Amazon was quite fun to be around and she didn't have to worry about walking on eggshells around her like most girls she'd met elsewhere. In fact, neither had a problem brutally pounding on one another during their routine sparring, since both were there for a reason, and that was the betterment of The Art. And to have fun. It had been a long, _long_ time since Ranma had somebody she could simply cut loose with in friendship and on the mat.

The lessons continued and Shampoo outlined the various other Kiss protocols, including the Kiss of Marriage, at which Ranma blanched. Both girls laughed and Ranma forced her sister to continue in Japanese. It had been a game they had started, half their conversations would be conducted in Mandarin for Ranma's benefit while she taught Shampoo Japanese for the other half. The results were the same, however, both girls ending up sounding like uncivilized louts much to their mutual amusement.

Shampoo finished the lesson and smiled slyly at her sister. "Tic and Tac plan ambush today."

Ranma smirked knowingly. Shampoo's little cousins were quite taken with Shampoo's new sister, and when they weren't hanging on her, were using her to hone their skills through obscure and unorthodox ambush tactics. "Tic and Tac always ambush. Maybe hang cousins by roof this time."

Shampoo laughed openly, then asked, "Ranma take bath with Shampoo?"

The question had been asked enough times in Ranma's two month stay that she didn't freeze up at the thought. It was an innocent enough question and she was still getting over the embrassement of seeing the Amazon in the nude on occasion, but under_ no_ circumstances could she ever permit herself around a sizable amount of hot water. She suspected the curse activated less on the amount of water and more on the surface area it covered, which meant a hot bath with her sister was _completely_ out of the question.

Ranma tried to affect embarrassment and waved Shampoo off politely, but she knew the excuse would only work for so long. After all, six months to a year was a long time for a girl to turn down such an offer from a close friend.

* * *

"How are your studies progressing, daughter in-law?" Cologne asked Ranma. She had been called into her hut two weeks later and now the two sat smiling at one another, drinking tea. Cologne's hut was a mystical place, Ranma had long since observed, filled with trinkets, jewelry and scrolls. She couldn't help but to stare everytime she came in, always finding something new on the shelves. If old Pops ever got wind of this place… Ranma thought grimly. She didn't have a fond opinion of her old man, but she'd hate to see him strung up simply because he couldn't control his greed.

"Very well, Honored Grandmother." Ranma replied, inclining her head in deference. While the elder was subject to the same rigid code of dueling and honor as the rest, it had become quite obvious that Cologne's skill easily eclipsed her own through teaching and the occasional sparring match. She was a hard, but fair instructor, something Ranma could respect. "I have mastered five ranks of pressure points and their counters, and am progressing through the sixth. Shampoo has been very helpful in that area of The Art."

Cologne nodded, taking another sip of tea. "You are hungry for techniques, daughter in-law. It will not be long before we will begin advanced training." She watched the girl's eyes shine brightly. "But we are here to discuss another matter, however." Ranma waited patiently for the elder to continue. "Why do you not take a bath with my granddaughter, Saotome? She is very concerned."

Ranma's well masked facade of control faltered visibly this time. _She knew._ How much remained to be seen, but she suspected at very least and Ranma knew that her body language had just confirmed that suspicion.

She looked down at her clay mug of tea. "I… I can't say."

"_Jyusenkyou._" The Elder stated with certainty and Ranma's head snapped up, eyes wide. Just how much _did_ she know?

"Y-Yes. Jyusenkyou." Lying wasn't even an option at this point. Now it was all damage control.

'Tell me, daughter in-law, which spring did you fall into?" Cologne asked, leaning across the table. Ranma simple stared at her mug in silence. Cologne now considered her next move very carefully.

For all her openness and honesty toward the tribe, she had finally stumbled on the one secret the redhead was not willing to share. She could, of course, simply splash her with the hot tea in her hand and find out, but if she was to be bound to the tribe, her next steps would have to be taken very carefully indeed. Were Ranma of lesser ability, she might very well consider that approach- pride be damned -but she was obviously a martial arts prodigy. Cologne wasn't prepared to risk that future on the simple splash of a cup, and today she decided to take the high road.

"The springs of Jyusenkyou bear any number of strange and disgusting creatures, Daughter in-law. You are not the first nor will you be the last to fall victim to its curse." She explained, and the redhead slowly turned her eyes back upon the elder. "I understand your fears and will keep your confidence until you yourself are ready, Saotome." She paused before continuing, "Shampoo, however, deserves to at least know why you remain evasive on the topic."

Ranma nodded slowly. "She does, Honored Grandmother. I will tell her as much."

* * *

**Chapter V**

**T**he boy was getting _strange_, Genma Saotome noticed as she stopped by the village of Xing Zhao for her monthly status report. He could understand better than anybody why he wore the female persona more often than not, as an ill-timed rain shower would blow his son's cover, but there were subtle things that were beginning to disturb him. The girl at the restaurant table in front of him was not the same one that had come up with this cockamamie scheme six months ago.

Ranma's external appearance was telling enough, which had moved from a traditional silk shirt and pants, to a feminine silk vest and a matching bottom, while the loose ponytail tied into her hair had been allowed to grow out to about the middle of her back. For all her external changes, the ones to her personality were more worrisome. The girl gained a frosty exterior in mixed company and if Genma wasn't mistaken, an air of superiority beyond the usual Ranma. That same frosty exterior was far quicker to displease than the Ranma who had began this journey, and he had seen how decisively she dealt with displeasure on the last guy who had made a pass at on the way into town. Thankfully, not that many were foolish enough to do so since her entire presence practically screamed 'Amazon'.

"Oh, and let's see… Grandmother has started to us the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken technique." Ranma smiled as she continued her status report, brining Genma's mind back to the table. That was another disturbing thing, he noted. Why was she referring to this tribe of savages with such familiarity? Unless he missed his count, Ranma had mentioned a sister, two cousins and this grandmother throughout the numerous reports he had received. "It has the potential to-"

A patron of the restaurant bumped into her chair and Ranma's head whirled around. Genma watched the icy exterior snap into place and the offending man froze as she made eye contact. The girl's cold blue eyes demanded quick redress with the promise of consequences if it wasn't received promptly. Fortunately, the patron had well honed survival instincts, as the Amazons were well known in this area.

"Um… Uh… My humble apologize!" he sputtered and the girl turned back to her father, the man no longer an item of interest or even worthy of a reply once etiquette was satisfied.

Genma continuted to watch as the frosty exterior snapped away and was replace by something closer to his son's personality.

"Hmmm, now where was I…" She began as if the incident had never took place. It would have never occurred to the father that in the last six months, Ranma had been fully immersed in Amazon politics, their ways of honor and had seen over twenty ritual duels that would challenge her ranking within the tribe and thus her ability to learn her new techniques. It had been a hard school, one that demanded immediate satisfaction to insult, and Ranma had received enough of_ those_ from her contemporaries that continued to treat her as an outsider. Cologne and Shampoo had coached her early on that such action could not be tolerated by her or it would become worse. Needless to say, Ranma was quick study and it was becoming second nature to correct any and all trespasses with the use of liberal amounts of force.

Genma frowned. "Y'know boy, maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Ranma stopped and looked at his father curiously. "I mean, we can learn techniques from anywhere without nearly this much hassle."

"Whaddya mean? It's better than the trail, y'know?" The father considered this. Ranma _was _right on that account. "And I'm actually learning new stuff every day. It's better than falling into another spring or something." Genma mumbled in agreement. "Let me buy you some sake and we can talk it over."

Which sounded like a damn good idea, he thought, totally unaware that he was being ruthlessly manipulated.

* * *

Month eight had seen the ritual duels drop to next to nothing as she went about her daily business of helping the Tribe, her standing in it all but solidified. Shampoo and herself had mastered the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken- Chestnut Fist -and grandmother was promising an even more spectacular technique once she and her granddaughter returned from a training exercise today. Cologne had called it the _Hiryu Shoten Ha_and Ranma eagerly awaited her return so that they could get started.

She heard footsteps crunch behind her at a run and turned to find a white robed Chinese boy with long raven hair bound up to her, past her and over to a dead wooden stump nearby.

"Ranma!" He exclaimed, catching his breath. "Did you ask her for me?" The wooden stump didn't reply.

"Glasses, Mousse." She ordered in passable mandarin.

The boy whipped around as Ranma's voice came from a direction he wasn't expecting and he promptly donned a pair of thick glasses. He blinked. "Oh! Sorry about that Ranma!"

She stared at the boy in front of her with amusement. Normally mistaking her for a tree trunk would have been grounds for a duel by anybody else, but Mousse was one of the few exceptions she made to that rule because of his 'handicap'. In fact, he was on of the few males she could stand among the tribe, if only because that despite his bumbling, he was reasonable skilled. At least he was _trying_ to be a Man. That, and he has a serious crush on my sister, Ranma chuckled inwardly. He would ask her out, get shot down, rinse, repeat. It was an endlessly amusing process.

"Did you ask her, Ranma?" Mousse had learned early that Ranma was a direct conduit to Shampoo's ear and was always seeking the redhead's favor in his quest. Now she held his ego in her hands. Ah, what do…?

"She said she'll think about it."

Mousse took her hand and shook it profusely before running off in ignorant bliss. Ignorant because Shampoo had said no such thing. Her words had been closer to '_Not a chance in hell_' if she remembered correctly. Honestly, I shouldn't lead the boy on like that, she thought wistfully, and continued to walk through the village and back to her hut.

She stopped at the door, hearing a soft crying from within. Ranma stepped in and found her purple haired sister sobbing at the table, face buried in her arms. She looked up to see who the intruder was, finding Ranma. Positively identified, she got up and flug herself around the redhead, crying into her shoulder.

"Wha-What's wrong, Sis?" Ranma flashed with concern and wrapped her arms around the trembling Amazon.

"Stu-_Stupid Grandmother!_" She looked up, anger burning through her teary eyes.

Now Ranma was very concerned. Shampoo hardly ever went off on their grandmother and never without good reason. She had learned that the woman could be tricky and devious, and Ranma had seen that trait hurt those around her before, both intentionally and unintentionally.

"She took me to _Jyusenkyou_ to train!" Shampoo had now disengaged from their embrace and her anger was climbing higher.

"_You've got to be kidding…_" Ranma breathed in disbelief. Why couldn't these people just dig their own stupid bamboo playground to train on!

Shampoo nodded, "Grandmother got too aggressive and…"

"…Knocked you in." Ranma shook her head. How could she be that careless with her own grand daughter?

Shampoo sat back down at the table and thumped it with a hard fist. "Maybe she just wanted both her daughters cursed." She said with angry spite. "Maybe we cab throw Tic and Tac in next!"

Ranma pulled out a chair and sat down next to her. "God, and I thought my old man was the only one with a monopoly on stupidity of that magnitude." She wrapped an arm around her sister, having long since been immune to the embarrassment of close personal contact with her, especially as a girl. Especially this girl. "Don't worry. It's not the end of the world… I should know." Ranma winked.

Shampoo's mood broke with the encouragement and suddenly she smiled. Ranma had always marveled at how quickly her moods were prone to change. "I have an idea!" She ran over to the heating kettle and poured out one glass of hot water and drew some cold water from a bucket. She set them on the table with a mischievous grin. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!"

Ranma frowned. "I'm not sure that's such a good-"

Ranma never got to finish as Shampoo dumped a glass of cold water on her person. Ranma's eyes went wide and she froze.

_"AAAAAHHHHAaaaaaARRRAAAHH!"_

* * *

The first clue that Cologne knew something had gone wrong was the desperate high pitched scream from across the village. The next came shortly thereafter and she thought she heard the enraged howl of a cat. Her self-loathing over the day's events broken temporarily, she hopped out the door and pogo'd across the village to find…

_…A warzone._ The place that had once been Shampoo and Ranma's hut was no more. In its place remained shredded debris as dust and bits of wood floated away with the wind. The rest of the tribe had gathered now, weapons out, marveling at the degree of the devastation. What enemy had done such a thing? The final cloud of dust cleared and in the middle of the gutted hut sat one little pink and purple kitten completely unharmed. Cologne barked an order to a nearby warrior and she promptly retrieved a glass of hot water and towl for the Elder. The elder hopped over to the waiting kitten and dumped hot water on it, producing a nude, purple haired Chinese girl who took the towl she was offered to cover herself.

"Quickly child, what happened?" Cologne urged.

"Ra- Ranma went insane!" Shampoo reported, as if unable to believe it herself. "I.. I showed her my cursed self and she screamed, then changed…"

"Changed into what?" The alarmed elder prompted. She scanned the wreckage for any sign of the redhead but found none.

"A… A _cat!_" Shampoo stated, still in disbelief. "It was the body of Ranma, but she was a cat inside! I didn't mean to scare her!" Shampoo was on the verge of crying for her sister.

Cologne examined the wreckage, noting the clean slices through even the thick stumps that supported their hut. "You did not do this, grandchild. Something far more sinister is responsible." She looked at Shampoo now. "Your form may have been the catalyst, but this is the work of the _Neko-ken._"

"Cat fist?"

"Indeed." The elder responded. "It is a High Art, exceedingly hard to master and even harder to defeat. It is, however, a rare form for one reason and one reason only," Shampoo looked at her with plaintiff eyes so that she could know why her sister had gone berserk. "Those that survive the training are invariably driven insane."

"But Ranma is sane!" Then Shampoo began looking at the structure that was once their hut. "_…Or was_."

Cologne nodded thoughtfully. "The fact that she survived the training is a miracle in and of itself, but the fact that she is still sane…" She looked at the ruin. On average, she added mentally, "is quite impressive."

She turned to the Amazons that had gathered. "Fan out. If you find Saotome, _do not _challenge her unless you feel it necessary to lose your life this day. She is not in control and will likely kill any she perceives as a threat. Report her position back to me. Go."

The warriors disappeared into the rainforest, and Cologne was left alone with her thoughts. So the redhead holds two secrets. I was wise to bind her to the tribe but _this_… This was totally unexpected. How much potential does Ranma Saotome hold? Any woman that can be trained in the Neko-ken, survive and remain as sane as she has thus far is _exceptional _stock.

She must be found at any and all costs.

* * *

Enough was enough, Genma decided, packing up and heading out of the village with a lot on his mind. He was as eager for his son to learn new techniques as the next person, but the effects it was having on him… And having to remain a girl almost one hundred percent of the time… And in the care of those Amazons. Yes, he had come to a decisive conclusion- Manhood first, techniques second. Besides, if Do-chan ever found out… Genma Saotome shivered at the visage of his wife angrily wielding the family honor blade.

He never was able to get an exact location of the village out of the boy, but he knew the general direction as he hiked along the hillside. He would use their original campsite as a baseline and work his way outward from there. It couldn't be more than a half a day in one direction of the other. Once the village was-

_"RRrrrrEERRROOOOWWWW!"_

Genma froze as the sound echoed throughout the hills. He knew that sound because it was ingrained into his very soul. The father slowly turned around to find Ranma Saotome perched on a high tree branch staring down at him with feral eyes. Her body was arched and poised to strike. Stupid Amazons showed the boy a cat! Genma realized. His brain raced. Ranma was a handful when he learned the technique at five, let alone now!

Genma snatched a leafy branch from a nearby bush and began to waggle it back and forth. "_Heeerrree kitty-kitty-kitty!_" Neko-Ranma's eye shifted from their narrow slits to wide-eyed curiosity as she tracked the branch. "_Oooh yess! Come and git it kitty!_" The father's other hand slowly grasped the steel pan in his pack. Thoroughly intrigued, the cat-girl jumped down from her fifteen-foot high perch and pounced onto the branch with a smile. Genma smiled too.

_"THWaaNG!"_

Genma Saotome considered his unconscious son, who was now growing a huge knot on the back of his head. The father shook his own head and sighed, dragging her by the ponytail down a dirt path.

"Come on, Boy, let's get you away from those Amazons."

* * *

**Author's notes: **

**Kiss of Death:** _The original series has little to say on the matter beyond those who receive the kiss of death must die to restore an Amazon's honor. By itself, this would seem to be an exceptionally stupid rule, even for some backwater tribe in China, so I actually gave them a reason why they were forced into such extreme measures to restore their honor. Sure, there's no basis for it in the series, but it's a dang sight better than 'just because' in my opinion._

**Timeline:** _Ranma's stay with the Amazon's has set him back nearly eight month, months they would have been spent being pursued by Shampoo in the original series. With the Amazons, Ranma does not yet sport her trademark pigtail since she hadn't encountered the guy with the dragon whisker, but will (by some bizarre space-time freak of nature known as my keyboard) when Ranma and Genma finally move on. Likewise, she is far more skilled by the time she arrives at the Tendo Dojo than in the original timeline because the trip to China actually amounted to something other than a quick dip in the cursed springs._

**Dialogue:** _I hate it when fanfics simply text-dump the manga dialogue into a story as just a series of quotes with no supporting framework as to the circumstances and conditions they're being spoken in. It's why I've tried so hard to embellish the original script as much as possible so you're not simply reading what would basically be a manga with no pictures.  
_

**Why Shampoo?** _I don't think she gets a lot of press (other than the lemon sort) because she was so dang easy in the series. All Ranma would have had to do was say 'ok' and it'd be all over. Not much of a story there, so I'll try to carve one out of it._

* * *

**Ranma ½ - Bits of China**  
Alt Fanfic  
By Ozzallos

Part 2

**Forward: **Part 2 is incomplete and will likely stay that way. You have been warned :p

**Chapter VI**

**"Y**O! Cut that out!"

A crowd had gathered to watch the bizarre pair that had been running up and down the wet streets of Nerima, Japan. 'Gawk' was probably a more accurate description, as it wasn't everyday you saw a giant Panda trying to make a meal of petite redheaded girl. Some of the bystanders were even thinking about intervening on the girl's behalf when she spun into air and nailed the Panda with a roundhouse kick, sending the offending bear sliding across the street. The Panda's 'victim' landed gracefully and slid into a defense stance.

"Your move."

The crowd continued to gawk. Was she talking to the Panda? As if to answer their question, the giant animal was up again and barreling back down the street, attempting to hit the young combatant with a volley of massive paws. The redhead dodged gracefully, but her icy mask told the crowd that her patience was wearing thin

"Well I still say this say this whole thing sucks!" The next paw cam in and she grabbed it, locking it in place with both arms. "…Picking my fiancée for me without even asking!"

The Panda's momentum did the rest. It was huge, but the redhead was pissed, and she flipped it down into the waiting concrete brutally. The 'No U-Turn" sign beneath the Panda's impact didn't stand a chance. She glared angrily at the defeated bear, catching her breath.

"I'm going back to China." The fuming redhead stated in no uncertain terms. "So suck on that, Old man!" Without another word she hoisted her hiking pack and began to walk off.

_ KlonG!_

The girl sank to the concrete unconscious, a victim of the Giant Panda's Anything Goes School of Martial Arts final attack No U-Turn Fu. The Panda dropped the mangled sign with a clatter and hefted the girl over its shoulders.

All in all, it was just another really rotten day for one Ranma Saotome. It had been one month since waking up at her father's campsite with no memory as to how she'd gotten there or where she was. She had known it was the cat-fist rage and the only thing Father had told her was that this was where he'd tracked her to… Which was in the middle of exactly nowhere, China. Her first thoughts had been for the village and the condition she'd had probably left it in given her destructive cat tendencies, but they were once again well and truly lost and the old man had insisted they needed to return to Japan for a matter of family honor.

If he'd have said anything else, she would have just left right there on the spot to finish training. Maybe even find a cure if she was lucky. But if there was one thing the Amazon's had honed for Ranma in her eight month stay, it was a razor sharp edge of honor and she acquiesced for the time being. Along the way back to Japan, they had starved some more and Ranma managed to pick up a new curse. This one caused the male Ranma's hair to grow at an unbelievable rate. While it wasn't quite as insidious as the Jyusenkyou curses, it seemed as if life was forcing him into that female body at every turn. Fortunately, he had obtained a countermeasure- The Dragon Whisker -to bind the hair that he and she now wore in a pigtail at all times.

And then only hours ago, he found out just what the matter of family honor was: An arranged marriage with the Tendos', a friend of his father. The plan was to engage Ranma to one of his daughters, thereby joining the Tendo Dojo School of Indiscriminate Grappling and the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts under one banner. Needless to say, the young boy/girl was livid. THAT was the matter of family honor? He was barely sixteen! Marriage could wait! Finishing grandmother's training took precedence. Then he could safely find a cure for the Jyusenkyou curse. Then maybe… Just maybe, he could think about a date. But an arranged marrige! HA!

Unfortunately, Genma Saotome had other plans as he carted the unconscious redhead the last few miles to the Tendo family Dojo.

* * *

_Six miles away, three daughters sat at their dining room table as their father explained the good news. "Ranma and his father have been on a voyage of training." The raven-haired father with a well groomed mustache spoke, "Recently it seems they crossed into China."_

"Wow! China!" The middle sister, Nabiki Tendo exclaimed, clearly enamored with the idea of going out with a man of the world. The excited expression framed by her short brown hair was obvious.

"What's so great about walking to China?" Akane Tendo grumbled and brushed a lock of her long cobalt blue hair aside in annoyance.

Nabiki ignored her. "Is he cute?"

"How old is he?" The eldest sister, Kasumi Tendo finally joined in with of mild irritation. She did have better things to be doing right now, after all. "Younger men bore me."

Niether sister could stand it any longer. "What kind of guy is this Ranma?" Both Nabiki and Kasumi asked simultaneously.

Soun Tendo shrugged. "No idea."

Nabiki leaned forward, trying to confirm what she had just heard. "No Idea?"

"I've never met him." The father had indeed said it.

All three sisters were about ready to protest when the sounds of close quartered combat erupted from outside, followed by somebody saying something about letting go of something. It was obviously a brawl and the family leapt from the table to get a better view.

"Ooooh! It must be Ranma!" Nabiki ran outside with anticipation, the father following close behind.

He instinctively knew who it was. "Saotome, my friend, we've been waiting!"

Even as Kasumi and Akane reluctantly joined their sister and daughter, they were surprised to find them retreating just as fast, Giant Panda in hot pursuit.

"Hey! YO!" the redhead slung over its shoulder exclaimed suddenly. "You're scaring 'em spitless!"

Chaos erupted from the Tendo sisters as they press their father for information, who clearly hadn't been expecting a Panda to take up residence in their dojo. The bear stopped short, planting the redheaded stranger promptly in front of the four.

After a few seconds, Soun Tendo pointed. "You …wouldn't be…"

"Ranma Saotome." The newcomer confirmed shyly, then a look of irritation passed through her eyes. "This is all his fault," jerking a thumb back to the panda.

Soun had no idea what the boy had meant by that last comment but was clearly overjoyed regardless, grasping Ranma by the shoulders. "At last! You've come!"

Nabiki leaned forward. "Ooo! He's cute!"

Soun pulled his future son in-law into a hug and suddenly froze. He was remarkably soft in the chest area. The father pushed him back to confirm what was becoming a growing sense of horror. Soun looked the boy over, as did the daughters upon seen his reaction.

Nabiki poked at the boy's ample chest as if to believe it herself.

"Um, could you please stop that?"

For Nabiki, there was only one inescapable conclusion. "He' Is a GIRL."

Soun Tendo simply passed out.

* * *

_"This is all your fault, Daddy!" Nabiki laid into her now conscious father, clearly upset that her cute guy had turned into a cute girl. "You should have made sure!"_

"Well he said he had a SON!" The father protested from his futon where he'd been dragged after passing out.

Nabiki grasped one of Ranma's breast and gave it a few good squeezes to prove her point. "Do you see a son here? Hmmm? DO you?"

The redhead was clearly uncomfortable now. In fact, she was fighting eight months of Amazon code that would demand instant action over such an affront. "You really _need _to stop that."

Fortunately, the younger sister intervened before she could take the matter to the next level. "Hey, join me in the practice hall." She smiled. "I'm Akane. You want to be friends?"

A practice hall. An honest to god practice hall, Ranma mused silently as she followed Akane out to the dojo. Now how long has it been since I've seen one of these, let alone dueled in one? Ranma didn't even take note of her mental terminology, as simple 'sparring' hadn't been in her vocabulary for over a year now. Most of those duels had been fought outside, in the elements as no holds barred style combat. In fact, the only rules she abided by in that combat was the longest standing one-Don't break your fellow Amazon sister so much as to compromise the safety of the entire tribe. Which still left Ranma a lot of room to inflict considerable pain and suffering.

"You do karate, don't you?" Akane pressed the rhetorical question as they stepped onto the mat.

"A little."

"Then let's have a little match, Okay?" Akane smiled. "Just for fun. Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

Ranma simply nodded. Even as she charged, Akane couldn't have known exactly what she was getting into as Ranma's mind clicked fully into Amazon mode. The girl had issued a challenge and Ranma was the Alpha Female. Everything in her village had been a test or some matter of honor and even 'little matches' such as these had a tendency to be brutal, despite the 'little' tag. Her brain made a rapid series of adjustments. She was a Joketsuzoku Amazon being challenged by another female warrior. Save her sister, there could only be one response.

Akane stepped in and threw her first attack. Anything after that however, was a hazy memory as Ranma's arms spun in a windmill fashion. The next thing she saw or felt was the jarring impact of the dojo floor. The world snapped back into focus and Akane's eyes widened. She twisted around to look up at the redhead, who was simply standing above her, observing the fallen girl with cool eyes. There was next to no emotion in those eyes, Akane realized with a start and began to debate whether she should even attempt another attack.

For the Amazon in Ranma, the situation was obvious from the moment the girl had assumed her fighting stance. This female was so hopelessly outclassed as to not even warrant dodging, let alone waste the energy to move. And from the look in her eyes, Ranma noted that her credentials as Alpha Female had been firmly established. With her Amazon satisfied, a more human Ranma smiled and lent Akane a hand up.

Akane took the hand as if it were a snake or some other venomous creature, that is to say very carefully. "You're really THAT good…" She breathed as if not believing it herself

Ranma pulled her up and smiled lightly. "I had better be," then her smile faded slightly. "After what I've-" She stopped herself, but the smile returned.

Akane watched the girls' expression flicker and those same emotionless eyes were now alive with them now. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize she had endured… Something. Something unpleasant. And that was probably an understatement, Akane realized. Maybe I can cheer her up…

"Well, I'm just glad you're a girl." Akane smiled and the redheaded girl gave her a questioning look. "It's just… I'd really hate to lose to a boy!" Her good deed done for the for the day, Akane walked out of the dojo, leaving Ranma in uneasy silence as two sets of emotions raked her. The first was from Ranma Saotome, who sizzled with resentment at being the aforementioned boy she just lost to. The second was the Amazon, who resonated with the comment as if she had just found a tiny bit of home.

* * *

___"EEEEeeeEEEEEEEYAAAAAHHHH!"_

Akane bolted past her sisters wearing nothing but a small bathrobe and a furious expression on her face. They watched curiously as she lifted the heavy stone head of their birdbath off its foundation with some effort.

"I'll weigh him down!" She huffed, bringing the stone around. "I'll drown him in the bathtube!"

Now Nabiki had to ask. "Akane what is it? What's that for?"

"THERE'S A PERVERT IN THE BATHROOM!"

Nabiki and her sister debated the issue a bit longer before Kasumi came to a realization, "That's odd. Ranma was in the bath just now."

As if on cue, the sisters heard silent footsteps and turned to find an approaching boy who they had never seen before and did not belong in the dojo.

"Who… Who… " Nabiki found her voice first, but had a hard time plying coherent thoughts to it. "Who are you?"

The black hair pigtailed boy looked embarrassed. "I'm Ranma Saotome." Then, with a look of irritation, "And this is all Pop's fault."

* * *

_The entire family now sat in the family room, the Tendo sisters facing the two Saotomes. Soun made introductions._

"I'll explain it once more." He began, sitting beside the newcomers themselves. "This is my dear old friend…"

"Genma Saotome." The older man with glasses and a white handkerchief around his bald head supplied. "And this is my son…"

"Ranma." The boy rounded out the introductions.

Akane was visibly fuming now and the two older sisters questioned the pair in disbelief. Genma decided a visual aid was in order and expertly grabbed his son and flipped him into the coy pond outside. What broke the surface was quite female and quite upset. Not only that, but she took offense to his expressions of humiliation over his son's condition, which promptly earned him a one way kick to the coy pond courtesy of the girl herself. The resulting splash produced one giant, irritated panda. It took several minutes and two cups of hot water for things to settle down enough so that a reasonable explanation could be had.

That explanation was Jyusenkyou and its cursed springs as Ranma's father detailed the salient points of their adventures abroad in China. What should have been a fifteen minute tale lasted a half an hour as the recounted story opened some not so old wounds. The ensuing battle turned father to Panda and Son to girl. Having straitened things out, Soun Tendo turned the panda back into his old friend with a kettle of boiling hot water while Ranma declined the invitation to second degree burns.

"No sweat." Soun Tendo declared, having a firm grasp of the situation now. "Your problem isn't so terrible after all!" Ranma looked at the Tendo with doubt as he presented his daughters. "My daughter Kasumi. Ninteen. Nabiki, Seventeen and Akane, Sixteen. Pick the one you want and she's your fiancée."

vThe situation was just too bizarre for the daughters, and two opted out immediately by pushing their youngest forward as the sacrificial lamb.

"Me?" Akane began in shock. "Marry that Pervert? Never!"

Ranma, who was content to remain a spectator, was drawn into the debate rather forcefully. "Say-Whaddya mean 'PERVERT'!"

"You looked at my body, pervert!" Akane retorted testily.

"Hold it!" Ranma stopped her short. "You walked in on me!"

"It's different when a girl sees a boy!" Akane rationalized while their parents laughed at the cute couples' first spat, to which Akane mentioned something about Ranma being a couple by himself. She was just about to continue her tantrum when the redhead simply turned her back on the sister.

"Goodbye!"

"Where you going, boy?" Genma asked forcefully.

"Back to Joketsuzoku!" His female son declared with finality. "…To finish my training and maybe find a way to change back for good! This is no time for 'fiancées'."

Then the Amazon stirred, absolutely certain in her superiority. "By the way… You took a pretty good look at me too. Besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl. I mean I've been around plenty of naked women as a woman." It was true too. After eight months in the hands of the Joketsuzoku Amazons, the female body held little mystery for Ranma. That was when the Amazon decided to thrust the knife home with a condescending laugh.

"And I'm built better to boot!"

Akane boiled over, lifting the dining room table high into the air and down on Ranma. It never hit its target. The whirlwind spun around and the table connected with a fist, splitting it cleanly in two. The pieces fell harmlessly off to the side of Ranma and Akane now stared at those cold eyes once again, realizing that she may have just made a slight error. The Amazon within began to consider several tactical options with which to deal with this trespass when a voice interrupted its calculations.

"Ranma!" Genma barked, and her eyes swiveled onto him like a vice. It was a look he had seen all to many times and he knew what it meant for Akane if left to it's own devices. "Remember your family honor!"

The redhead blinked as her Amazon psyche shuddered. Honor. It was one of the few things she had left from this shambling nightmare. She blinked once more and the Amazon withdrew, it's only consolation being that the girl in front of her named Akane represented absolutely no threat to her in rank or physical prowess. Wasting the time to discipline her would almost be too effortless.

Ranma gave her father one last glare. "One day you'll flip that switch once too often, old man." Then she was gone out into the courtyard.

With the redhead gone, all eyes turned to Genma for an explanation, who in turn looked to Soun. "Old friend, we're going to have to have a talk about the Boy."

* * *

_"So your saying when he's a boy Ranma is…" Soun began, as if not quite grasping the concept._

"Is Ranma." Genma nodded. "More or less. But when he's a girl there's something else behind those eyes."

"From the curse?" His friend offered.

"No, from the Amazons."

His friend tensed. Every accomplished martial artist knew something of the Amazons of China. Even his master had recounted several tales about them. They were independent, ruthless and occasionally cute. They were also above all, accomplished martial artists in their own right. "But, I thought the Amazons were… More legend than fact?"

Genma shook his head. "No. They're real and we found 'em. The boy infiltrated the tribe to learn their techniques and came out… Changed. I'm sure they brainwashed him somehow." Or simply provided him with everything that he couldn't, but that thought never crossed his mind.

"What does that mean for the engagement?" Soun asked with a slight edge of panic.

"I'm not sure," He rolled the question around in his brain. "But watch your daughters around the girl-type, especially with that Akane's temper. That's when she's the most ruthless."

"But… Why?"

Now this was a question Ranma's father had put some thought into himself. "The Amazon's are a female dominated clan. Something tells me Ranma had to do more to learn their secrets than just smile nicely to the elders and it must have been pretty heavy stuff to put that noticeable of a dent in my son's attitude."

Soun nodded, understanding, but not. "Alright. I'll try and coach my Akane to keep her temper in check." Then he considered the situation for a moment. "Maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all."

Genma shot a queer look at his longtime friend.

"After all, she's a fireball, which makes the two a perfect match!"

* * *

_"I'm telling you Kas-chan, they're going to be trouble."_

Ranma snapped out of her rooftop stargazing as the voices floated softly through the night air. It had been the Nabiki voice, Ranma recognized, and a sliver of Amazon awareness brought a threat assessment to her conscious. Physically she was nothing, it decided. Those eyes, however… She was a predator and bore watching. The majority in standing, currently Ranma, thought she was fairly attractive, though the breast poking had been a little much. The sliver agreed but otherwise refused to call forth the remainder of its Amazon host. The action could be… Overlooked.

"Why do you say that, Nabs?"

Kasumi, both Ranma and the sliver agreed. No threat in any way shape or form, which automatically shuffled her into a different class: Protection. Both portions agreed that the first duty of a Martial Artist was to protect those who could not protect themselves, and Kasumi was mentally filed away into that watch list.

"Have you seen how much they fight?" Nabiki replied. "They're gonna break stuff left and right, I tell you. That table was only the beginning."

"Oh my." Kasumi said thoughtfully. "You might be right. And the way our father's friend ate…"

"…Is going to mean a much bigger food bill." Nabiki agreed with her sister's realization. "Especially if Ranma is like his father in any way." She sighed. "I'm going to have to find a way to make money off them one way or the other if we're going to pay the bills…"

Ranma blanched at that one. Being compared to her father was… Was… An affront. It was an affront that stirred the Amazon fully, but not to violence. Ranma sat up and hopped off the roof, walking back inside the house and past the parents. Both parts agreed. It was an insult, but not the kind that would demand the restoration of honor in a physical manner. It merely required… Correction. Immediate correction. She padded up the steps and found Nabiki's room, murmurs still coming from it. Ranma rapped sharply on the door.

Nabiki stood up from her bed, looking at Kasumi quietly. Nobody knocked in the household and Akane was in the bath, which meant either Ranma or his Father. Last she saw, his father was talk to their father, which probably meant… "Come in, Ranma."

Ranma increased Nabiki's threat potential by another notch with a thin smile and slid the door open. She walked boldly into the center of her room, the Alpha Female purposely invading their space in its entirety. Nabiki recognized those cool eyes and mental stood on guard. They were the same ones she' d seen split a table in half, though nowhere nearly as intense now. That, and she had overheared- read: spied on -the two fathers and their discussion on Ranma's Amazon troubles. This would be a delicate tightrope to walk, she realized.

"What can we do for you, Saotome?"

Ranma's thin smile grew slightly at the sisters no-nonsense manner and the Amazon began adding points to her threat assessment left and right just on how she felt. No physical threat to be sure, but her mind would be the deadly weapon here. Much like Grandmother, she thought with no small amusement. She could be friends with this one if things turned out right. Not equals, but friends would do.

"The question is what can I do for you." Ranma corrected the sister. "I overheard at least part of your conversation."

Kasumi, content with staying on the sidelines, looked at her sister with concern. She knew it too and if this was the Amazon talking…

"You compared to my old man and that is not acceptable." She frowned, eyes glinting. "You're right Nabiki Tendo… With us around things are likely to become worse than better. I've lost a lot on that stupid martial arts trip, but one thing I haven't lost is my honor." She considered them both now, eyes softening further. "I've got no love for this engagement, but I'll help however I can as a guest."

Nabiki opened her mouth, then closed it, staring at the redhead thoughtfully. She was sure that the Amazon was in there right now, watching, but contrary to what she had heard from the girl- er, boy's father, it wasn't an uncontrolled whirlwind temper. It was… Strict. She was going to have to do a bit of research at the library on Amazon etiquette just to see what hot buttons they could avoid pushing with her. Call it 'know thy enemy'. One thing was for certain; there was no doubting her sincerity.

"Ok, I'll take you're word on that," She replied. Because it would be very bad not to take your word for it, Nabiki suspected silently. "But what about your father?"

Ranma laughed with a mild snort and it was the first not so tightly controlled emotion to break through the icy exterior. "He won't lift a finger to help you. In fact, he'll try and take advantage of everything he can here."

"I see." Nabiki stared at Ranma's matter-of-fact summary of her own father. "Then we'll just have to find a way to use him some-" Nabiki stoped suddenly, realizing she was detailing vital tactical information to the son of the victim. Instead of the glower she was expecting, a wide smile was plastered on the face of Ranma Saotome.

"Count me in."

* * *

_It was high time to get out of this body, Ranma thought as she undressed for a bath. Not that she wasn't used to it by now. Nearly a year wandering around in the rainforest of China and among the Amazons had all but erased that particular gender sensitivity, but it could get… Tedious. Not all the time, but there were days when she could feel it pull at her very being. Staying in it for too long was not necessarily conducive to her masculinity, she decided. Especially with my Amazon. Even she could see it from a third person viewpoint if she really focused, but it had become harder as of late and she knew it was affecting her behavior, sometimes radically. It was like a combat stance, Ranma had long since rationalized because it was the only way she could even describe it to herself. She had gotten used to a certain behavior set over the last year in female form and after prolonged exposure, had inadvertently adopted the Amazon persona as his girl-type 'stance'. Female meant Amazon, and his mind and body had gotten quite used to that fact, especially when there was usually so much at stake. If it had just been eight months of casual contact, things would probably be different. But it had been in-depth, up close and personal every single day._

It was another disturbing fact that combat was now beginning to feel more comfortable in his girl type than the boy, which wasn't necessarily a huge surprise given her activities over the last year and a half. Water, water everywhere and not a drop of it warm, she mused darkly. And that was the double-edged sword she faced with the tribe. There was a price to staying and learning those secret arts, and that price was one-hundred percent girl, one-hundred percent of the time. And she was actually beginning to like it there, Ranma thought with a hint of sadness. Shampoo was a great friend and it was a simple life. Cologne was a hard but fair instructor. A lot simpler than all the twisted schemes I'll have to deal with here, that's for sure. Why do I always lose the good friends? Ucchan… Shampoo…

Ranma sighed and tossed the last article of clothing into the basket. Now completely nude, she slid the bath door open to find herself face to face with a shocked and equally nude Akane Tendo. After a moment of quiet turmoil, Ranma could feel the anger building within the sister, and the Amazon snapped into place in response. Akane's rise to anger stopped short of blowing as she looked into those cool blue orbs once more. They dared her to throw an insult.

The door to the house slid open and Nabiki poked her head in. "A-chan, are you almost- Oh." She watched the two nude women stare one another down in the bath doorway. If Akane lost it or Ranma tried to press forward… Either way, it would be Akane on the losing end, she was sure of it.

"Ranma…" The redhead blinked once as Nabiki carefully used her name. Akane watched as the cold eyes flickered momentarily. "Helping us out means not eating my little sister." She wanted to avoid the word fiancée if at all possible, as it probably meant next to nothing in Ranma's book. Ranma looked back at Nabiki and a thin smile cracked the ice. Amazingly enough, she stepped aside, allowing her sister to pass. She really needed to find out more about the Amazons, Nabiki decided in earnest. This game was just too touch and go for comfort. Besides, I thought I was a mercenary, not a negotiator.

As if bidden by her thoughts, she watched Akane's face contort with anger. That wouldn't do at all. "Akane!" The face faultered. "You're done. Let it go." Akane's eyes flicked one last time over to Ranma and she gathered her robe on the way out with a contemptuous sniff. Now alone, Nabiki looked over Ranma who in turn looked her over. She nodded with silent thanks and slid the bathroom door shut.

The middle sister sighed, amazed enough that she had successfully defused the situation when two observations came to mind. First, no feminine modesty whatsoever with that girl. I could have probably stared all day without her flinching. What kind of life had she led? And second, what she had said earlier was no boast.

She _was_ better built to boot.

* * *

_**Chapter VII**_

** S**chool, Ranma snorted with contempt as he walked lightly on a chain-linked fence. It was a new day and he was going to… School. When was the last time he had been to one of those, he wondered. Five? Six? For all his gripes, he had to admit one thing-It was a damn sight better than wandering around lost in a rain forest with no food or shelter. So yeah, I can stand school, Ranma decided, then looked down at the girl he had been following to school. Now that is something I can't stand. Macho chicks. They had been trading witty retorts all morning long about how neither was actually engaged or even wanted to be in the presence of the other, which was fine by Ranma. Besides, the Amazon was displeased with her at the moment, so being as far from her as possible was probably the best thing anyway. He could feel her grumbling beneath the surface. She'd stay there as long as he was a guy, Ranma knew, but he was as close as he wanted to get to that particular disaster waiting to happen. Cold water plus Akane plus insult minus anybody to intervene equaled a painful lesson in Amazon etiquette, Ranma was certain. Well, I'll try and hold myself back if it comes down to it. Try to convince myself she's not worth the effort. But as a girl, he'd know there'd be no guarantees.

Now granted, there were plenty of macho chicks that were her village sisters, and he liked most of them well enough, but they also followed the same code he did. Or she did, rather. Sometimes keeping it all strait was a royal pain. But this one was self-centered, had no code and could not even begin to satisfy the multiple breaches in etiquette Ranma had endured. He consciously forced the bubbling Amazon down, which was a much easier task as a guy. In fact, he preferred it that way. The less overlap between sexes, the better.

The stick-boy wanted to fight again, Ranma sighed inwardly. Upperclassman Kuno was nowhere near his level and yet he insisted on dueling him. Frankly, he was lucky it was he the senior had challenged and not the girl, Ranma observed. I'll happily play around with the buffoon. The Amazon would have broken him, being an official challenge and a boy. That was a serious infraction. Boys just didn't challenge Amazon girls. It was the way of things, and that way of things was enforced quite brutally.

Their arrival at school had been… Eventful. Apparently Akane had a fan club, Ranma noted and watched as she proceed to beat the tar out of half the male student body. Now that was impressive and the sliver of Amazon awareness made a note of it. Quite a bit like home, it noted and Ranma had smiled in spite of himself. Obviously the men were battling for the affections of the female and while it wasn't quite Amazon, it'd been the closest thing he'd seen yet to home. Apparently it happened every morning too, and that's where Kuno came in. The student had taken instant offense to him living under the same roof as Akane and after a small scuffle had taken larger offense to the fact that they were engaged, however unwillingly. Not that either Ranma or Akane explaining the matter to him helped, so they took the fight outside.

Off the third story.

With the gym pool right below them.

"Yow!" Ranma exclaimed and cursed himself mentally as he realized his error. Yet for all of his problems, Kuno was on the worse end of the stick as he hadn't been expecting the jump. Or the Pool. And if he played his cards right, one angry little redhead.

_SPLAaaSH!_

The duel could wait, Ranma decided and the Amazon grudgingly agreed as his body shifted into a girl on contact with the pool water. Right now the priority was to maintain her cover because the last thing she needed right now was more complications in her already complicated life. She was just imagining what the entire school would do when it found out they had gender changing student in their midst. God, life was so much simpler back at the village she sniffed and glided beneath the water, only to find Kuno floating on the surface face down. His eyes were open but the boy was clearly senseless.

The Amazon grumbled. Boys challenging girls was one thing and while she'd normally be happy to let him drowned here, she then wouldn't have the satisfaction of beating him into the ground later. Besides, it'd be a mark against her honor if she simply let him drown before the duel even began. So she grabbed the upperclassman to float him to the side and much to her surprise, was promptly grabbed- groped, she amended -back by the student.

"RANMA SAOTOME!" Kuno erupted from his unconscious stupor with a gasp. "I FIGHT ON!"

Enough was enough. She oughta just give this fool a Kiss of Death and be done with it, but that would require her to lose and that would be, of course, impossible for her to do. Ranma toyed with idea of throwing any future fights just so she could enact the protocol, but personal honor was more important than personal vengeance at the moment so she settled grabbing the upperclassman head and flipped him onto the dry concrete. Hard. The move also had the advantage of catapulting Ranma up and away from the prying eyes of the other students above.

* * *

_"Upperclassman, I challenge you!"_

Ranma smiled from her tree branch. She may not like the girl, but this was the proper way of things.

Akane had found Ranma in her treetop perch half nude and ringing out her wet clothes. After a few insults, she taunted her with a kettle of hot water, much to the redhead's annoyance. She was really going to have to teach that girl a lesson one of these days. But then Kuno arrived and she immediately redeemed herself in a most Amazon fashion. Maybe Akane wasn't a total write-off after all, Ranma speculated.

"So be it!" Kuno exclaimed, "If you win… I shall let you go out with me! Thus I shall lose with all my might!"

The guy was insufferable! Ranma grumbled as she struggled to pull in the kettle Akane had hastily thrown just before the upperclassman arrived. Kuno stepped in with his bokken for a high overhead strike and Akane slapped the blade between her hands, instantly brining it to a halt. The momentum brought him in and she fell backwards smoothly, planting a solid foot into his chest. The move pushed him skyward…

_KLONG!_

…And into Ranma's kettle, much to her irritation. Recognition flashed through the student's eyes as he found Ranma waiting on the tree branch. It was the girl from the pool. "So. Did you see where that boy in the pigtail went?"

The fool didn't know about the curse yet? "Uh-uh."

"That coward!" Kuno fumed. "Running away from a fight! No doubt he feared my prowess! Bah! He is no man! He is no man!"

The Amazon awoke fully and she dropped the kettle with Kuno attatched to the ground below. She jumped down as well. "I can take you any time! Come on!"

"Heh! Amusing." The upperclassman retrieved his wooden sword from Akane. "Well should you win… I will allow you to go out with me!"

The strike came in as a blur, but Ranma was already in the air. Akane could only watched as she observed those familiar eyes slip into place. Ranma had become… Cold. Like their sparring. And the table. She hadn't overheard their parents on Ranma's Amazon like Nabiki had, but she knew the eyes.

"And who's asking to go out with YOU?" The Amazon slid down the reverse edge of the bokken and planted a powerful foot into the side of his face. She knew that that hit alone would have been sufficient to put Kuno down, but she wasn't done. He was a boy and she was an Amazon girl. Boys didn't challenge Amazon girls. Period. End of story. Mousse she could tolerate. He knew the Code. This one however… This one was going to get hurt.

Even as Kuno began to lose his balance, Ranma landed lightly herself and shot two more kicks into his gut, sending him into her tree with a shattering thud. She stepped forward and unleashed a roundhouse kick to his dazed head, smashing his other cheek. The stick-boy fell away, crumbling under his own weight. Ranma grabbed the sword before he hit the ground, noting the boy still retained some kernel of awareness.

Akane watched horrified as those eyes of ice bore into Kuno. "Know this, Kuno… I own you. Challenge me again and I will break you." As if to provide an object lesson, she snapped the wooden sword in half with a hand and it fell to the earth by his body. Lesson done for the day, Ranma walked off across the school property, leaving Akane and the stricken Kuno looking on after the girl.

* * *

_"And then he just tore into Kuno!" Akane explained with an edge of panic to her sister later that night. Nabiki sat on her sister's bed reading a book as she listened. "The first kick would have done the job, but three more after that was… Overkill!"_

"He?" Nabiki queried with an arched eyebrow.

"Okay, she."

"That's because Kuno's a boy," Nabiki replied cryptically.

"What do you mean by that?"

Nabiki waggled the book she was reading for Akane's benefit. "Ancient Customs of the Chinese Amazon." She recited the title, looking at her sister. "Had a hell of a time find it at the library today." Now Akane was thoroughly confused. "You were already gone so you didn't hear about Ranma's… Adventures in China. She ate, lived and breathed Amazon culture for the better part of a year."

Akane shrugged. "So?"

"They're a warrior based society ruled by women." Nabiki explained. "Ranking is determined in no small part by prowess in combat. If you want to move up in rank within an Amazon village, you challenge the person above you in the form of a ritual duel." She flipped the page, continuing her summary. "Insults and physical threats demand immediate action by the recipient. If honor is not satisfied, the member will have no choice but to engage in physical combat to restore her honor."

Nabiki watched as dread crept into Akane's face "…Oh crap."

"'Oh crap' indeed." Nibiki nodded. "According to the rules I'm reading here, she's been very patient with you so far."

Akane paled. After what she'd done to Kuno… "Um, where does Kuno tie into this?"

Nabiki smiled. "Like I said, he's a boy. Boys are second class citizens to the Amazon women." The smile faded and she pointed to the book. "According to this, she'd be well within her rights to take his life for even thinking of challenging her."

Akane's cheek twitched. "But Ranma's a boy…"

"Which might be the only reason he's still alive." Nabiki shrugged. "Beats me. I can't even begin to comprehend how Saotome's juggling all the different aspects of his life, such as it is." She paused, then looked at Akane. "And if the book is right and what you told me about Kuno today is accurate, you should be receiving a visit any time now."

As if she had timed it such, there was a sharp rap on Akane Tendo's bedroom door. She looked at Nabiki with wide eyes and she simply shrugged.

"Um, come in?"

The door slid open and a female Ranma stepped in. Both sisters immediately checked the eyes and found they maintained a temperature above freezing.

"What can we do for you, Saotome?" Nabiki asked then smiled at her little joke. A thin smile crept across the redheads face, but promptly disappeared.

"I'm here to address a matter of honor with Akane."

Akane shuddered internally. Oh crap, she's not actually going to enforce that stupid code is she! I'm gonna get my butt-

"It was not my place to interfere with your duel with Kuno." She stated in a voice considerably closer to room tempreture. "Please accept my apology." The redhead bowed formally, much to Akane's surprise. She looked from Ranma, then over to Nabiki. What the-!

"You were already engaged in a duel with Kuno, A-chan. If I'm reading this correctly…" She watched as Ranma's eyes flicked from her to the book she was holding. "She had no right to interrupt such a duel… Especially when the boy was yours to do with as you will."

Ranma took a step forward, cocking her head to read the title of the book Nabiki held. "Ancient Customs of the Chinese… Huh!" She sniffed in surprise. "How'd ya know?"

"Your Daddy blabbed about it to our Daddy." She explained. "Anything he knows, we know." Then she looked at Ranma seriously. She had to ask. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you apologizing in your girl form?"

Ranma looked as if to be considering her answer carefully. "Because it satisfies Honor."

"And your boy form wouldn't?" It was more a statement than a question.

Again, Ranma hesitated. "It's more… 'Appropriate' this way."

"Because of all the time you spent with the Amazons."

Ranma nodded slowly. It wasn't often she had the duality of her thought process called into question. It was a curiosity in itself for her as well.

"Yes. I…" She looked as if she weren't about ready to continued, but pushed on. "I was forced to remain a girl nearly one-hundred percent of the time in their company. All their values, the honor and Code fell to this body to be carried out…" She paused once more. "…It just wouldn't mean the same thing… In the other body."

That's some heavy-duty compartmentalization Ranma's got going on up there, Nabiki noted silently. That could wait, she decided and turned to Akane. "Don't you have something to tell her as well?"

The sister looked at Nabiki curiously, then mouthied a silent "Oh!" in surprise. She promptly got up and produced her own bow. "I… Uh… Sorry I… Didin't realize…" She looked at the book, which was explaining everything she had missed. "Let's just call it even, Okay?"

Ranma looked at the girl for a second longer and nodded.

"I'm still not going to be your fiancée." She stated firmly. Nabiki looked at her in disbelief. The girl just did not know when to keep her mouth-

"Likewise." Ranma smiled. It was a mutual understanding. As long as the girl didn't go off and continue to poke at her honor with a stick, things might actually turn out okay. It was obvious she was one of the Alpha Females at her school and even her behavior in regards to the boys there reflected that fact. Yes. This would do until she found an honorable way out of the twisted mess her father had tied her into.

"And no offense, Ranma," Nabiki began tentatively, "But you do kinda need to lighten up on the whole Amazon thing."

Ranma looked at her more sharply than she meant to, then softened. "I… I know. It's just… They gave me back… the only thing I have left in the world."

Akane now observed the girl in front of her with a new sense of revelation. This was the girl she's seen after their match… The girl that had lost something… Something big. And it was obvious the Amazons didn't restore her manhood, so…?

"What did you… Lose?" Akane asked with some hesitation. But she couldn't help it. The eyes flicked over to her, but there was no anger.

"Everything that mattered." She settled in and told them the whole story. Being sold for rice and two pickles, thrown repeatedly into a pit of starving cats, swimming to China. On the trail for months with little food or shelter. Forced to beg and steal. And to top it off, barely remembering what his mother looked like. The sister's disbelief deepened with every word.

"By the time I stumbled across the Amazons, the curse was beginning to take a backseat to everthing else," She continued. "It became just another thing, y'know? Sure, a big thing, but after everything else even the big things just become things." Then she looked up at the pair with a warm smile. "But the Amazons gave me some of those things back, but especially my pride and honor. I learned that this curse is a small thing compared to losing that." Ranma sighed. "I miss my sister."

"Sister?" Akane questioned with an arched eyebrow.

"Daddy said you were an only child." Nabiki chimed in.

"Uh… In China." Ranma corrected herself with a shade of pink on her face. "I was adopted into the tribe and she's been my best friend…"

Ranma's voice trailed off and both sisters looked on her thoughtfully. Even Akane, who was dead set against marrying- let alone marrying a gender cursed guy -wasn't immune to the plight of the girl in front of them now that the facts in their fullest measure were known. Ranma had everyone and everything taken from him- and her -and was now being forced into an arrangement nobody in their right mind would have concocted… Which said a lot about their parents.

* * *

_**Author's notes: **__See, I told you it was unfinished. Not sure if I will finish it at this point. The story seems a tad too moody for what I was aiming for, though part one had promise. After that, it just got too far away from "Ranma" for my tastes. That and I really just don't feel like a complete rewrite of the series with Amazon Ranma all the way up to his meeting with Shampoo (which is where I planned on wrapping the this series up originally). A clear case of lack of vision :p As an example, I blasted the two parts of "Exact Change" in a fraction of the time while this was in progress. Somebody is definitely going to have to bug me to get this completed :p_


	30. Saffronification

**Saffronification  
**_By Ozzallos_

**Part One : Death.  
**_Prologue_

**R**anma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stared into the steaming pool of water with no small amount trepidation. A sidelong glance across the rippling surface revealed the expectant visage of the white haired Captain Kiima with the child Saffron at her side. Behind her stood Koruma and Masara; to their right, the advisors and royal court. The crowd were all waiting for one thing and one thing only.

Her.

The martial artist stared down into the pool fed by a phoenix figure head while the twitches at her back reminded her of the events leading up to this crucial moment. All she had to do was take a final step into the bath to complete the cycle …_Or so they said,_ Ranma thought darkly. They weren't even sure whether it would work or not, but she was honor-bound to try. Besides, Ranma thought, she was long past the point of no return already. With a finally look to the winged entourage, she took a deep breath and frowned.

"This had better be worth it."

The Captain of Phoenix Mountain nodded. "For all of our sakes."

She held Kiima's gaze for another moment before stepping fully into the body of water, kneeling down to immerse herself within. At first, she felt nothing. Then a tingle. A minute later, her eyes widened as crystalline thread began to race across her skin, sprouting up from the water and entangling her body. Her first reflex was to fight the threads and she found them every bit as unyielding as the first time she had encountered them only months ago in Saffron's presence. This time, however, the entrapment was voluntarily. The redhead forced calm throughout her body and allowed the threads to take her, deadening appendages as they encased her entire body. It wasn't five minutes before they had nearly covered her, and a feeling of sleepy lethargy overcame her consciousness. Now she would either die, or…

The final fissure closed over Ranma, sealing her into a world of darkness.

* * *

**Chapter ONE**

"**F**ive thousand yen."

Ranma froze in his kata with the words and turned toward the middle Tendo, standing in the open doorway of the dojo of her namesake. Several things passed through his brain nearly simultaneously, the first of which was that she was purposely disturbing his practice with her scheming. It just didn't happen, as even she seemed to realize that the dojo was one of the few places where he could obtain a small measure of peace in his chaotic life. The second thought that he grasped was the abnormally large sum of money she was charging for a total unknown. With these two facts firmly in grasp, Ranma came to the conclusion that the sister had come into information of considerable importance, as she rarely yanked his chain these days.

Not since the failed wedding, at any rate.

The martial artist weighed the pros and cons of parting with such a sizable sum of money even though it grated against him to turn it over to the Tendo standing in front of him. Still, his life was nothing but chaos, and unlikely as it was, Nabiki was one of his few allies in perceiving that chaos before it fully came home to roost. He considered the girl who would be starting her first semester of college for another moment before nodding.

"My tab." Nabiki pulled out a small notepad with a frigid smile and nodded herself, making the requisite annotation to Ranma's running tab. Not that she kept tabs for many people. In fact, they numbered on a single hand. But Ranma was not only a valued source of income, but reliable when it came time to pay up as well. That, and he just refused to carry a wallet. The notepad disappeared and the mercenaries smile faded slightly.

"They've set a date."

It took the pig-tailed martial artist a moment to digest the terse statement. "Set a…" Ranma began, then his eyes widened as realization slammed home. "Oh no…" He stared at Nabiki searching her face for confirmation. The lack of her arrogant mask said it all.

"When?"

"A month from now." Nabiki confirmed softly and Ranma swore in spite of himself.

"Damn, damn, damn, DAMN." He balled his fist and stared an angry floor into the dojo's floor. It was too soon. Way too soon to deal with… that. He returned his attention to the sister. "You're certain?" She cast him a bland look that told him that he ought know better than to question the accuracy of her information. "Uh, right."

Ranma worked the information over in his head and came to the only course of action left available to him. They couldn't let this bite them in the ass again. "I'll tell Akane."

Nabiki was about to protest until she noted the seriousness set across his face. If there was one thing she knew in her profession, it was not only knowing when and when not to cross the line, but more importantly perceiving the line to begin with. By informing Akane directly, Ranma was cutting her out of another profitable source of income, but she also knew that face. He wasn't happy and he would be damned if this was going to happen again.

She acquiesced and Ranma stepped by her and out into the open evening air. No big deal, she mused. There were other ways to make money off the situation. Ways that might even help the couple this time around.

With that thought in mind, she palmed her day-timer, and opened up to the phone section labeled "fiancées".

* * *

Akane Tendo sat on the roof of her house in silence while the fiancé of her arranged marriage stood aside, staring into the night sky. The moment stretched on for another precious few minutes before she simply sighed. Ranma took his eyes off the star lit night and looked down at the cobalt blue haired girl. Her next words mirrored his own thoughts exactly.

"It's just … Too soon."

Ranma nodded, opting not to break his silence. He had already come to the exact same conclusion. Their lives had only recently returned to some semblance of normalcy and the last thing either of them need was another shotgun wedding attempt. Another moment of silence drifted between the two before being abruptly abandoned by Akane's fist as it slammed into the roof, buckling the shingling beneath. Ranma arched an eyebrow, noting that only a fraction of her anger managed to bleed through to her strike. After all, she could put a hole in the roof just as easily as he could.

"Why! Why can't they just leave it alone?" She snarled, ending the rhetorical question with a sniffle as tears threatened to break.

Ranma knew there was probably a profound answer to that question. Probably something along the lines of the parents living vicariously through the accomplishments of their children, or some other meaningless psychobabble. True as it may have been, Ranma had a far simpler explanation.

"Because they're both complete morons."

Akane blinked at the statement and managed to smile after it made a pass through her brain. Yeah, that was about right, she decided. What other parent would engage their kids and not even tell them until the last possible moment, _then_ attempt to force them together at every turn? Sure, arranged marriages still happened, but most people went into them knowing about the event, even if they had never met the husband or wife to be. And only complete morons would be blind to the challenges they faced. A gender based water curse? Multiple rivals, male and female? Bi-monthly kidnapping attempts? The list simply did not stop and their parents seemed all but oblivious to it.

A slight chuckle escaped Akane's lips and Ranma smiled. It only lasted for a moment before fading away. "We gotta find some way out of this… Or take control of it ourselves. Can't let my old man or yours do this to us anymore."

Akane nodded in total agreement, and after a moment of silent contemplation, stood up. "We need a plan."

Ranma let loose a wry smile. "Plan? What's that?"

Akane scowled, but there was no heat behind it. "Funny one, Mister 'make it up as you go'." Ranma's smile widened, but abruptly disappeared as his eyes lost focus. He turned away from Akane and stared off into the night. "What?"

"Bein' watched."

Even with the fading light of dusk working against him, Ranma was able to make out a figure perched on a light pole beyond the Tendo property across the street. Now he frowned as his martial arts enhanced senses strobbed out around the stranger, seeing an identity through tendrils of ki. The frown deepened as they recognized the aura all too readily, and the pigtailed boy reflexively prepped for battle. Akane felt her fiancé's power spike abruptly and she took a defensive stance off to his flank. She had no idea who it was out there, but if Ranma was on guard, so was she.

"There will be no need for that, Ranma." The feminine voice drifted softly across the night. It did nothing to lessen the Saotome's guard, and Akane herself recognized it instantly.

"_Kiima._" She growled in a tone that promised great physical violence. Ranma put a hand on her shoulder, preventing the inevitable step forward that would unleash that violence. Not that he could blame her. The kidnapping and drowning attempted just to obtain her body in the form of a curse was still fresh in her mind.

"Better start talkin', Kiima." Ranma smiled grimly. "I can't hold her back forever."

The shadow expanded as the figure unfurled its wings. She gave them an almost lazy downward beat that allowed her to glide the distance from the light pole to the edge of their roof, illuminating her for the first time. Little had changed in the woman as she still wore the elaborately decorated white Chinese leotard and matching hair in a short crop. All in all, one could almost overlook the fact that she was not only their enemy, but hardly human. Needless to say, the wings and fingered talons shattered that illusion outright.

"I ask a truce of you and yours." She began holding her hands out as if to emphasis she was carrying no weapons. It was entirely symbolic, of course, as Ranma knew that her hands weren't the female captain's deadliest weapons.

"A truce?"

"And your help." She continued, taking a step forward, then to both their surprise, kneeled before them. "I ask you to hear me out. After I have explained, my life is yours regardless."

Ranma blinked and he could feel Akane's anger dissipate slightly. She had moved from the 'stomping bird-girl now' phase of her anger to 'stomping bird-girl later', after they heard what she had to say. Ranma folded his arms and looked on her with slight contempt. "Fine, whatever. So spill it already."

Kiima looked up at him, then cast a wary glance over to Akane. "It is for your ears only, Saotome." The martial artist was about to protest when the Phoenix cut him off. "You have bested Saffron in combat and are probably the only person who can help us. It is a matter of honor for you and you alone."

"I got enough matters of honor to last me a lifetime." He retorted dryly and in a tone that indicated little interest in whatever problems she had. Kiima winced, but held his gaze. "Any reason I should care about this one?"

"Because you're the cause of it all." She replied seriously. The answer was sufficiently cryptic to gain Ranma's undivided attention, even as he ego riled over the fact that a certain overgrown, egoistical bird boy shouldered a large share of the blame.

He turned to Akane, who in turn tore her eyes from their rival, looking upon Ranma incredulously. "You can't be serious considering…!"

"Don't I know it." Ranma sighed, but continued. "Gonna need some time alone, Akane."

"Do the words 'it's a trap!' mean _anything_ to you?" She boggled, not believing that the martial artist would even consider…

He took her hand. "I'll be fine, 'kane." Then he turned, casting a hard glare into the waiting Phoenix woman. "_Won't I?_"

For the briefest moment, fear pooled into the captain's eyes before being replaced by resolve. As formidable as she was, Kiima knew her limits. She simply didn't pose a credible threat to the Saotome at this point. Even so… "I come under a banner of truce. You have my word."

Ranma nodded and squeezed Akane's hand lightly. She rolled her eyes and grumbled something before taking to the ladder, leaving the Martial Arts heir and Phoenix Captain to talk in the night.

* * *

It was another hour before Ranma stepped back into the house, and concern immediately flared within Akane at his appearance. He was pale. Deathly so. The person she had known for so long as the receptacle of ultimate confidence was anything but at the moment.

"Kiima…?" She asked hesitantly and Ranma shook his head.

"Gone." He replied simply, then looked beyond her to Nabiki, who sat watching the scene curiously. "I need a ticket to China Nabs. Yesterday."

"What..?" Akane started, totally blindsided by the sudden turn of events. "You can't…!"

"That'll cost a bit more than my usual services, Saotome." Nabiki considered the martial artist carefully, also taken back by the new development. "More than you have on a good day, I'm afraid."

"Mom'll take care of the bill." Ranma returned, intriguing the middle Tendo further. Ranma was one to take care of his own debts, not lean on others to help him out of one. The fact that he would be relying on his mother for this one was ominous in and of itself. Nabiki nodded, content with watching events play out. She could make money on the back side with the fiancées, if need be. Akane, however, wasn't.

"But…! You can't…!"

"I'll be up in my room packing." The martial artist padded up the stairs, leaving a gaping Akane and thoroughly puzzled Nabiki in his wake. Kasumi stepped into the living room and watched Ranma ascend the stairs curiously.

"Oh my, is Ranma-kun going somewhere?"

Nabiki blinked. "You could say that, Sis."

Akane's head whipped from one sister to the other, then bolted after the pig-tailed fiancé. She was up the stairs in a flash, finding Ranma already in the guest room and loading up his hiking pack. "Ranma what the HELL is going on?"

The martial artist froze in the process of stuffing some clothing into the weather worn pack and simply sat there beside it while the fiancé waited for some- _any_ -forthcoming explanation. After a moment, he drew a deep, trembling breath…

"It was different with Saffron…" He replied softly. "He was trying to hurt you…"

Akane shook her head with incomprehension. They had had this conversation before and at length. Saffron wasn't his fault. Of all the chaos that was spiraling out of control in his life, that particular event was in no way his fault, let alone the degree to which it escalated. Killing never sat well with the martial artist and even though he took pains to avoid such outcomes, it had been inevitable with the self righteous Phoenix king. Even though Saffron had survived, the incident had gone quite a ways toward checking Ranma's views toward himself and the art.

"Of course it was different," Akane knelt next to him, with those thoughts in mind. "We've been through this. It wasn't your fault. You can't listen to Kiima-"

Ranma's head swiveled to face her and she was taken back by the hollow look in his eyes. "You don't understand…"

"So help me out here!" She pleaded, desperate to get some sort of handle at just what had spooked Nerima's premier martial artist so badly. It wasn't quite the effect a cat would have produced, but almost worse in a way. Akane could even sense the emotional turmoil roiling within her fiancé. "You have to give me something here!"

Ranma sat there like a frozen statue, staring at the frantic Akane for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Remember what Saffron told us before the fight? How he was his people's light and power…?" Akane nodded without comprehension. Ranma waited for the answer to come to her, if only so he wouldn't have to relive his darkest hour again. She stood waiting and Ranma sighed. "I killed him, 'Kane… Not only did I kill em' but I trashed Jusendo in the process." Akane's eyes widened as the horrible realization began to seep into her consciousness. "All they got now is a kid Saffron and he ain't nearly old enough to endure the ascension process yet." He paused and a pained expression took over his face. "I did that, and now they're dyin…"

Akane opened her mouth, but the sharp retort that instantly sprang to mind died on her lips almost immediately. "Dying? Who's…? They… They had it coming… Didn't they?"

The pain in Ranma's eyes deepened exponentially. Even Akane couldn't bring herself to believe the words she just spoke. "Maybe Saffron… Maybe Kiima and their court… But… But…"

"How bad could it possibly be?" Akane whispered softly and Ranma stared into the floor.

"People who had nothing to do with the fight are dying." Ranma shook his head, barely able to comprehend the magnitude of the ripples he created in his battle against Saffron. "Hell, I ain't opposed to a little suffern' on their part, but they don't deserve total extinction."

"Total… Extinction?" Akane gaped and Ranma simply nodded.

"Can't let it happen, Akane." Her shock seemed to finally free the martial artist of his motionless depression, allowing him to continue to stuff his meager belongings into the pack once more. "_Won't_ let it happen."

Ranma stuffed one last article of clothing into the pack before hefting the bulging bag as if it weighed nothing. He strode out of the room with pack, Akane close behind. "But you're going tonight?" She asked, the frantic edge still accompanying her words.

"As soon as Nabs gets the tickets-" Then his shoulders slumped. "Hell, ain't even got enough time to say goodbye to Mom."

"Where you going, boy?" Genma stood at the foot of the stairs, arms folded and a serious expression set across his face while Soun stood beside him reflecting a similar demeanor. "Weren't planning on going somewhere, were you?"

Akane watched the depression evaporate, instantly being replaced with determined resolve. "Ain't got time for games, Pop."

"Your father is right, Son." Soun stepped up with a piercing stare. "You have obligations here. Specifically to my Akane."

Ranma's gaze narrowed sharply on the parents and he took the steps one by one. Each one seemed to collect an intangible aura of menace around the pigtailed boy, causing the parents to falter in their resolve. Halfway down the stairs, his eyes locked onto Soun Tendo specifically.

"I don't have to remind what I did at Jusendo, do I?" The question met with wide eyes and Soun found his neck involuntarily shaking his head no. Ranma's actions there were beyond question. Another step brought him closer and his gaze locked onto Genma. "It's a matter of honor, Pops."

"But-"

It was the only word that managed to leave his father's lips before being cut off abruptly. "Don't try and stop me."

"It-"

"People are dyin' because of me, Pops." Ranma continued in a more forceful tone. "Even you can't ignore that."

The elder Saotome thought on the matter as Ranma held his gaze and shook his head. "Alright, but you still have an obligation to Akane." Soun shook his head as Genma continued. "Therefore we'll have to move the wedding date up."

Akane sucked in a breath from behind Ranma. "Move… it up?"

Ranma was taken back as well. "Um, to when exactly?"

Genma turned to Soun with a smile. "Now sound good to you?"

"Indeed it does, Saotome!" The Tendo nodded. Ranma's left cheek began to twitch. While Akane began to visibly glow red.

"What? You gotta be kidding!"

The martial artist agreed and was readying his own opening salvo of physical violence when Nabiki stepped up from behind the parents, cutting in. "No time for that. Your plane leaves in just under three hours."

"Oh my…" Kasumi began. Having observed the entire spectacle, she took her cue from the younger sister. "That's barely enough time to get there and check in."

"Now wait a minute!" Genma protested as Ranma shoved past the parents. He was abruptly blocked by Nabiki.

"You don't intend on keeping Ranma from his flight, do you?" Genma was rendered speechless. "Because if you do, I'll be out over eight hundred thousand yen, and guess who will absorb _that_ cost?"

"But he can't-" Her father whined and Nabiki turned on him as well.

"_Plus_ carrying fees and interest."

"Uh…" Genma stumbled, but recovered quickly. "The boy can take Akane with him!"

Ranma flinched as Soun nodded, fully backing the new proposition. Finally, the martial artist to put his foot down.

"No."

"Boy…" Genma growled, once again irate that his parental wisdom was being countermanded.

"I said no." Ranma eleaborated, then turned to Soun Tendo. "I can't guarantee this ain't all one big trap, Mister Tendo. I can't put her in danger like that again."

Soun shut his mouth right there and turned to Genma. "We can have the wedding when your son gets back."

The balding martial artist nodded, knowing that there was no way that his old friend was going to push forward with the plan now. Instead, he opted to take the high road. "Sound like a plan, Tendo."

Ranma stared at Nabiki curiously and she smiled knowingly. Part of Ranma couldn't help but to be amazed. The other part shivered. He owed her more than money for that one. He even managed to make it to the door before being stopped by a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Akane Tendo.

"How long will you be gone?"

Ranma shook his head. "No idea. Not for long I don't think. All they need me to do is top off their reserves or somethin'. Can't be that hard."

"I guess…" Akane grumbled with a significant measure of doubt. If things went as planned in their lives just once, it would be a damn miracle.

"Don't worry 'bout a thing." Ranma smiled. It was the first one she had seen since Kiima had delivered the news. "I'll be home before ya know it."

* * *

Ranma Saotome stared through the humidity saturated air to the sight before her; nearly a hundred small pools with worn bamboo poles jetting skyward at variable lengths. They directed her attention up into the roiling clouds that seemed to insist any trip to China be made in her cursed form. The redhead rolled her eyes and studied the springs once more, noting that many had yet to recover from the monsoon only months before. The result was a blending of their numerous magically energies that no person in their right mind would stray near.

With that in thought, Ranma set up camp a good hundred meters from the edge and took to the task of erecting the tent and lighting a fire, the latter being more for the preparation of food and less toward the reversal of her curse. After several trips to this particular piece of real estate, she knew the absolute futility in keeping her birth form, while truth be told, it wasn't so bad. Her last trip here had put that particular aspect of her curse well into perspective, if nothing else. Not that she was going to spend any more time in it than absolutely necessary, just that it was useless to even bother with in a region that dropped water from the sky at such frequent intervals.

It took only ten minutes for the Jusenkyo tour guide to notice the newcomer, and the portly middle aged man stepped into Ranma's view with an expression that betrayed something more than idle curiosity.

"Is very strange for one sir to visit Jusenkyo so often, no?" The Guide cocked his head, staring at the redhead who had only months earlier played no small part in the rescue of him and his daughter. "Only Musk visit springs so often."

"Don't I know it." Ranma replied with some trace of irritation, inviting the Guide and his daughter to join him. The irritation lay mainly in the fact that his entire life seemed to revolve around China, Jusenkyo in particular.

"So what honored Sir do here now?" The little girl known as Plum piped, sitting beside him. She poked the camp fire with a stick while staring at him with wide eyes. After all, it wasn't often that a virtual legend and her very own savior came to visit. "Fought Amazons, fought Musk and fought Phoenix peoples. Is no more peoples to fight!"

A slight tick developed on Ranma's cheek as her words were filed under the 'sad but true' category events of her own life. Knowing her luck, she'd find somebody to fight. Maybe there were some lizard men or something back in the hills somewhere…

Her sarcastic musings were cut short as the Guide finished another puff from his pipe. "Yes, why honored Sir here this time?"

"Meetin' up with the Phoenix."

Both father and daughter's eyes went wide. "Aiyah! Is another fight?"

The martial artist shook her head. "Just a friendly meeting… I hope."

The portly guide cast him a dubious look before settling back into his seat. If there was one thing he had realized by now about this particular guest, it was that he was the harbinger of chaotic upheaval. Somehow, he doubted anything tied to the boy from Japan would go as smoothly as he was hoping. With that thought firmly in mind, he took hold of his daughter and bid the redhead fair well, fully intending to batten down the hatches before all hell broke loose once more.

Alone once more, Ranma turned to the unlikely series of events that had brought her to this point as the sun drifted across the sky. It was as if the strange and unusual had found her at age fifteen and conspired against her ever since. They had been her companions since her fall into Jusenkyo the first time, and one couldn't help but to wonder why. The martial artist sighed, staring at the springs once more. The only thing she knew for certain was that the strangeness in her life made for _excellent _martial arts training.

Of course, that was the high point of her life. The worst of it was only now manifesting itself, casting an enormous shadow across her soul as the fate of an entire people rested on her shoulders as a direct consequence of her actions. Akane was right. There really wasn't any choice but to take Saffron out. But the consequences to such an action was staggering. Never before had any of her decisions affected the world at large and now here she was with the fate of an entire race hanging by a thread. Killing Saffron had been an easy decision at the time. It wasn't even one she had to think about since there wasn't any question when it came to Akane's life.

But now…

Some link she didn't fully understand had been severed between Saffron and his people, and innocents were dying because of it. Killing a person- even Saffron -hadn't sat well with her after the fact. Knowing that innocent people were dying as a direct result was unbearable. Honor demand that she act. Ranma shook her head in disgust and palmed a smooth stone at her feet, sending it skipping into the springs.

She just hoped Mom understood.

Another pang of regret echoed through the lone Saotome. No sooner could she interact normally with his mother, fate felt the need to intervene once more and call her away in the only possible manner that the martial artist would respond to… Honor. It was her greatest weakness and she was painfully aware of it. There were just some days Ranma wished she could abandon it outright, but those thoughts were always tempered by the reminder of her father and his actions. At least she wouldn't have to deal with the fiancées, the redhead chuckled to herself in a humorless fashion. She'd taken care of _that_ little detail with Nabiki just before stepping onto the plane.

A shadow blotted out the sunlight momentarily and Ranma jerked her head up, finding the backlit winged form gliding in the air above her. To anybody less familiar with the area, they might have been inclined to believe the heat and humidity were affecting them, as this particular form appeared to be an angel or some other miraculous vision. Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, however, knew better.

The winged shadow circled the site once more before being joined by two more shadows. It didn't take a genius to realize who they were, and Ranma's suspicions were confirmed as they descended onto his campsite. A slight plume of dust accompanied the backstroke of their graceful landing and Ranma eyed Kiima's escort with a frown.

"Hope you're not thinkin' about going back on your word." Ranma stepped forward, studying Koruma and Masara warily as they flanked their Captain. Both Phoenix men looked to Kiima, who shook her head.

"No." She replied, holding the martial artists gaze steadily. "They're as much for your protection as mine."

Ranma gave them one last glance and turned back to the noodles stewing over the fire. "All I can say is yas better not be yankin' my chain on this. This ain't a joke I'll just shrug off."

Kiima stepped into the camp wearing a neutral mask. "I assure you , Saotome, it's every bit as dire as I explained in Nerima."

Ranma simply nodded, appearing to focus on the preparation of her instant noodles. "Remind me to get Nabs to talk to you about natural gas or fuel oil investments or something'…"

Kiima took the attempt at levity as an invitation and stood next to him and the fire. "If only it were that simple." She replied, gaining Ranma's undivided attention. "The resources provided by our Lord extend beyond mere heat and light. Such descriptives are crude at best."

"Then what are we talking about, exactly?" The martial artist probed as she dug into her pack, tossing her guests a few more packs of noodles. The dark skinned Koruma stared at the colorful plastic wrapping without a clue as to what to do with it while Masara shook his with curiosity.

"Life itself." Kiima replied and Ranma paused in the preparation of his own noodles. "Our Lord serves as a conduit for our people, his life force feeding the others around him."

Ranma rolled this new information around in his head and decided to ask the most obvious question first. "So why not just find another one of your own kind to do the job?"

Kiima shook her head. "Few born of our kind actually have the ability to ascend as Saffron, and while their used to be an adequate number, time has all but put out that particular fire."

"But I thought…"

"We were immortal?" The Phoenix women finished the question and Ranma waited silently. "Mostly. Some simply choose to pass on naturally while even ones such as ourselves can be extinguished by a determined enough foe."

"Something tells me you got quite a few of those…" Ranma commented absently and missed the scowl produced by Masara. "Must be pretty bad to be askin' me for help."

"You… Weren't our first choice." Kiima replied carefully, eliciting a dry chuckle from the female Saotome. "Regardless, we have no other and you are known to keep your word." Ranma shrugged and the female Phoenix continued. "Once you have rested we will escort you up to Phoenix Mountain. With any luck, your stay will be a short one."

"You can say that again." Ranma replied with an expression that never quite rated a smile.

* * *

The pit in Nermia's premier martial artist deepened with every step she took into the depths of Phoenix Mountain, a pit having nothing to do with food. The hike up Phoenix Mountain was a relatively easy one by Ranma's standards, her only complaint being the lack of any ground level access as she traced a path up the narrow crags of the slumbering volcano. Even that wasn't a major concern to the martial artist who had swam the Sea of Japan in full hiking gear no less than two times, a task several magnitudes harder than the one he faced now.

Ranma cleared the final cliff that marked the entrance into the lowest entry point into the mountain, letting her pack drop onto the hard rock as she turned toward the majestic view behind it. Blue eyes soaked in the landscape below, though much of the lush greenery typical of the Qinghai Province was shrouded a rolling blanket of mist.

_Undoubtedly waiting to rain on some other poor Jusenkyo cursed fool_, Ranma thought with dark amusement.

Not that it mattered from where he was currently perched. Apparently the thick mist below was content to stalk easier prey than the individual standing several thousand feet above it. Besides, that one was already in its cursed form. Her escort circled right and bled altitude until they were level with the rock outcropping she occupied. The gust of their landing caused her traditional red and black Chinese silks to billow slightly as the backbeat of their wings caught them, then subsided. The redhead ignored the Phoenix guard a moment longer as she continued to pick out the valley in detail. Between those two mountains was Jusenkyo itself… About ten, no, fifteen kilometers west of that were the Amazons.

Ranma paused in her sightseeing with the thought. With any luck, her last minute instructions- and payment -to Nabiki would keep them out of his hair for the duration of this ill-fated sojourn. The other fiancées he was less worried about. They were mostly tied to Japan and all were pretty much certain she'd be back sooner or later. Cologne and Shampoo, however, would think nothing of packing up and returning home to set up a new base of operations in their pursuit of her. Sure, she couldn't stop them from returning home, but the instructions she left with the middle Tendo should keep them off the mountain and out of her hair. Combine that with the threat posed by the Phoenix themselves… Ranma shrugged. In a perfect world, at least.

"So what's first?" She turned back to her escort, who appeared to patiently waiting for their guest's attention to return to them. "Sooner we get this over with, the better."

"Agreed." Kiima nodded, joining the petite girl's side as Masala and Kurama took up station behind the pair. Leading Ranma into the cave, she continued. "First, we visit the Phoenix Stone."

"Phoenix Stone?" The martial artist's eyebrow arched as she was led deeper into the mountain. The large tunnel she was being escorted through gradually began to change the further in they journeyed. What had started as rough stone misshapenly carved into the side of a valcanic mountain gradually began to smooth until the rock she was walking upon ended abruptly in favor of smooth dark quartz tiles and tool refined walls.

"Our interim source of life and power." She explained. "When the number of Greater Phoenix began to dwindle, the wiser among us perceived the crisis we faced today, that being the lack of a Greater to distribute their life force amongst their people because of their reduced adolescent state."

"Like Saffy." Ranma nodded, missing the scowl the whimsical name produced among his escorts.

"Like _Saffron_." The Captain emphasized the correction before continuing with tale. "To stave off this inevitable threat to our people, a stone of pure crystal was carved out of the volcanic rock by our most skilled artisans; a crystal that could amass the mighty power of the Greater Phoenix."

Ranma Saotome cocked her head curiously now. "You saying you got a large crystal battery up here somewhere?"

"Essentially, yes." Kiima replied, leading the Saotome up a new flight of stone carved stairs. "The Greaters fuels the Phoenix Crystal, which in turn acts as an alternate source of power for the host until they are reborn and mature, thereby retaking their mantle once again."

"Okay, and now what's wrong?"

"You are." The Phoenix woman stated without emotion. "Though this crisis was inevitable, you have precipitated it prematurely with disastrous consequences." Ranma gave her a leaded glare but managed to reign in her mouth as the Captain continued. "As I mentioned earlier, time has left us with only one Greater Phoenix to lead us and our encounter with you has interrupted an already precarious cycle of rebirth and renewal. Saffron has been maturing for the past four years. If allowed to mature naturally, he would have grown into his full power in about another four."

"Okay, so I'm missin' the part where I became the big bad guy here." Ranma retorted sharply, tired of having what was amounting to mass extinction laid solely at her door step.

Kiima's own patience began to wear, but unlike the girl at her side, had a reason to maintain an extra measure of it. "Because Saffron is the last of the Greater Phoenix, we have been drawing on the crystal for the last four years and could ill-afford to wait another four for nature to take its course."

Realization dawned on Ranma just before she was about to clear the narrow stairway. "So what you're saying is that you guys don't have another couple of years left on the crystal and I just knocked back the only source of life back into childhood?"

"Essentially, yes."

Ranma stood stunned for a moment as the full implications of the act fell down on her shoulders. "Damn him… The hell… It wasn't my fault. He didn't have to threaten Plum… Or Akane…"

Taloned fingers now rested on Ranma's shoulder, causing her to look up into slitted lavender eyes. "A measure of the blame rests upon my shoulders as well." Kiima admitted in a haunted voice. "He was my responsibility to raise, yet I often foisted him off on that old incompetent fool, Muskrat, turning him into an arrogant, self centered brat."

The martial artist stared into those eyes for another moment and shrugged. If Saffron's own commander could admit some small part in this goddamn mess they were now irrevocably tangled in… "Yeah, well… Not like we couldn't have just let him use Jusendo and go home, I guess."

Kiima simply nodded with the redhead's admission and turned back to the double doors that sat atop the stairway. Her talons sank into what looked like an inlayed combination lock, twisting it twice right and once left before the doors shuddered with a loud thud. Taking the audio cue, the Phoenix Captain swung both open wide to admit Ranma into the mountain's interior.

Ranma Saotome shrugged off the sweltering wave of heat that blew through the dormant volcano and stepped inside. Much like her previous visit, bare rock had been carved and refined into grandeur, while the trapping of luxury hung about the grand hall they had just stepped into.

The grand hall she now stood in was, in fact a giant cavern with a series of interconnecting bridged above and below. Had Ranma a more educated background, he might have realized that the cavern was the remains of a lava chamber that had since drained and put to use by the Phoenix people themselves. Here, the sky was alive as they swooped in and out of the enormous cavern, from one flight to another going about what appeared to be their daily lives. Some were armed, while others simply carried material and supplies across their winged backs as they glided about their business. The martial artist made particular note of that fact and silently strengthened her resolve to see this through. Whatever her history with them, the Phoenix had their share of ordinary people too; people that in turn fell under his martial arts code however much she wished to deny them. Even so, it begged the question…

"Don't see why ya need me." She glanced back to Kiima, motioning to the busy sky above. "They don't seem too bad off, or am I missing something?"

"This is one of the satellite halls that surround the core of Phoenix Mountain, the populous of our civilization." The Captain explained patiently. "Regardless of the condition, life must go on, and those able to, do so."

"So the sick ones are somewhere else." It was less a question and more a statement, to which Kiima simply nodded.

"Some are merely sick. Others are…" She left the statement hang, allowing Ranma to easily grasp the unspoken conclusion. "With any luck, we can stop our people's degradation before the condition spreads."

"Ya make it sound like a disease." The redhead observed as they crossed the span in front of them. One look over the side revealed a drop that even she wasn't likely to survive. That was also when she noticed that she and her escort had gathered the attention of some of the passers by, who soared around them in a small flock to gain a better glimpse of the new comer.

"Only superficially." Kiima explained. "Think of it as lights tied to a power source. Some lights require more energy to operate. Others are tied more closely to the power source." Seeing understanding in Ranma's eyes, she continued. "Now realize that our very source of life and energy is running dangerously low. Those of lesser abilities have become weak and frail, while those with closer ties and higher consumption usurp the supply quite unwillingly."

Cannibalism came to mind, but Ranma figured such a thought wouldn't be well received at the moment. Besides, it wasn't their fault. Unless she missed her guess, the only way to slow the drain would be to lighten the load on this crystal of theirs, which meant more people would have to die.

"Fortunately, that is not your concern." She said, all to easily dismissing the morbid conclusion the Saotome had already come to. "All we require of you is to recharge the crystal, thus preventing further casualties."

"Right." Ranma leveled a stare at the Phoenix woman. She made it sound so easy. The martial artist all but snorted. _Woman obviously doesn't know my life_. "Then let's be about it."

* * *

**Chapter TWO**

**T**he Crystal was huge, Ranma observed as she walked around it in open admiration. Not pretty, but huge. Regardless, she was quite sure that Nabiki could hock it for a tidy some of money if given half the chance. The crystal itself was dark and murky, illuminating the smaller lava chamber they now stood in with a dull glow. Dying was her first thought, and she realized the light bulb analogy was closer to the mark than she previously realized. Whatever it was running on was in short supply, an effect that manifested itself visibly in the weakening illumination.

The giant shard hung suspended above a pit of orange lava, its orange illumination and grumbling echos evidence that this volcano was not quite as inactive as it appeared from the outside. A harness grafted to six cables held the crystal in place as super heated updrafts distorted the very air around the geological anomaly, as if magic was visibly manifesting itself around the shard.

Ranma Saotome gave the dying crystal one last glance before turning back to Kiima. "You do realize I got no idea what to do with that damn thing, right?"

Behind the Phoenix woman, the elders of her people began to grumble. She secretly despised all the pomp and attention this was getting, but such was beyond her control. Her only task was saving her people, not dressing up in elaborate costumes in the process.

"Traditionally, the Greater Phoenix simply touch the stone themselves and feed power into it." She provided, ignoring the older Phoenix to her back. "Any of us can do this, but none have the power a Greater can manifest, let alone enough to recharge the crystal itself."

"So just touch it and force power in?" Ranma arched a red eyebrow skeptically, receiving only a final nod from Kiima. "Uh-huh. Need some hot water." The Phoenix Captain looked at her curiously and Ranma elaborated. "Guy side has a larger ki-resoivor."

Kiima nodded and whispered to Kaoru, who left quickly and promptly returned with a wooden pitcher of hot water. She in turn, handed it to Ranma who put it to good use. The resulting shift in genders produced the male she was well familiar with. "I am concerned that your body will not be able to withstand the heat of the updrafts around the crystal." She mentioned as the now male Ranma turned back to the wavering crystal. "I have already summon the Gekkaja from storage should you need-"

Ranma waved the offer away. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but the Gekkaja wasn't how I was able to withstand Saffron's heat."

With that, she watched with wide eyes as a mere human stepped into the super heated updraft that buffeted the platform extending out to the giant crystal. Phantom wind immediately took hold of his loose silks and pigtail, sending them flowing upward as he studied the crystal closely. From his closer vantage point, he could make out the geological stresses that had gone into its formation as the dim glow refracted within its many angles. A sent caught his nostrils and Ranma glanced down, immediately finding the edges of his red silks starting to brown from the intense heat.

Best get this over with, then.

He put a single hand to one of the faceted surfaces and winced, pulling it back as heat seered through his nerves endings. Heat resistant he may have been after the Phoenix Pill incident, but that didn't mean he couldn't still feel it. Whatever. Not that he hadn't had his share of pain for a lifetime anyway. What was a little bit more? With that lovely thought, Ranma pushed his hand back onto the cloudy surface and gritted with the pain that flowed into his palm, through his arm and poured wholesale into his brain. The distraction lasted only a moment before he was able to blot it out and focus his energies. The martial artist still wasn't sure exactly how Saffron fueled his attacks, but all he had on him at the moment was ki, and Ranma imagined the formation of a huge moko takabisha in his mind.

More.

A glow erupted around the Anything Goes heir as he continued to pool his energy, unconsciously feeling out just how much the crystal could handle. Its capacity was _huge_. Did Saffron really have that much power? Had anyone asked him in that moment, Ranma would have denied he'd ever thanking God that the kid didn't have any more control over his power than he had displayed in their final battle. The pigtailed boy found his limit and thrust the waiting energy into the crystal, causing his battle aura to flare brilliantly before subsiding completely. Likewise the crystal seemed to flash with life as well, before returning to its reduced state. Ranma fell to one knee, spent entirely. Behind him, Kiima's voice filtered over the dull throb of the lava pit.

"We all felt… Something."

Ranma wearily glanced up at the approaching Captain and struggled to both feet. "Yeah, something about covers it, but that's about it. Goddamn thing is huge inside."

Kiima was frowning now. "Do you think…?"

Ranma took a deep breath, centering himself after the massive exertion. "Honestly, I ain't too sure. I got good burst energy and my ki reserves are pretty damn big, but… But either Saffron was usin' something different or he's got better sustained output… or both for all I know. What I do know is I fed everything into that I could into that thing short of goin' unconscious and barely touched it."

"If I may…" A crackled voice inserted, and one of the Elder Phoenix stepped forward. He was marked by a cane ending in a plume of bright red and orange feathers and a mane of graying hair atop his wrinkling head. "The power was indeed substantial, but brief. It was being consumed by our people almost as soon as it entered the crystal. At most, it will last us a couple of days on top of our current reserves."

"So Ranma theoretically can recharge the Phoenix crystal…" Kiima began, only to have Ranma round out her thought.

"…but only if yas all stop drawing on it."

The Elder nodded. "In that, the Greater Phoenix excels, being able to both provide for our people and charge the crystal simultaneously."

Ranma shook off the fatigue that was setting in. "I can try again later, but I can't see the results bein' much different."

Silence met the statement, only answered by the bubbling din of the lava pit. Kiima was the first to break the hopeless quiet. "Perhaps another try tomorrow. Failing that, we release you from your obligation. Would that be acceptable?"

The black haired teen gave only the barest of nods. Hell no, it wouldn't be acceptable that he couldn't help these people, Ranma groused mentally, though he had little choice. If he couldn't power their damn stone, he couldn't power their damn stone, end of story. Then he'd go back to Japan with the ghosts of an entire civilization on his back.

Damn it all.

"Tommorow, then."

* * *

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts set his pack down... In a nest. It was his accommodations for the night and the martial artist couldn't help but to find a sort of morose comedic value in the situation. Ranma Saotome, bane of the Pheonix, camping out in one of their nests as a guest of honor. That much was evident by the height of the nest in the main cone of slumbering volcano that was Phoenix mountain. Kiima had informed him that the higher the station in Phoenix society, the higher the nest mounting. Indeed, his was the highest, as Ranma could look out the window and down into the smoldering caldron below while layers of flying Phoenix went about their lives. The carpet was a coat of thick down, while the furnishings and fixtures themselves spoke of opulent luxury, furthering Ranma's disbelief in the entire impossible scenario that had been given form only months earlier. The nest was even complete with a luxury bath and washroom. His appetite considered the large fruitbowl set on the rich oaken table in the center of the room, but was unfortunately interrupted by a knock at the door.

For a moment he paused. What was the protocol for receiving guests? Answer the door? Just let them in? Have them state the password? "Whatever…" Ranma snorted. "Come in."

Kiima again, Ranma observed dryly, only this time she had... The pig tailed teen took a closer look at the boy she held hands with, and the boy stared back with red eyes. Even if Ranma wasn't able to place the form immediately, the flaming red and orange hair was a dead giveaway. Ranma blinked. Even if it was Saffron, this one was many years younger than the one he had first met, yet still older than the incarnation he had left with Kiima six months ago.

"You recognize him then." Kiima stated, noticing the Saotome's confused countenance.

"Not sure if I believe it, but yeah, I recognize him." Ranma nodded slowly, still slightly confounded by his randomly aging nemesis.

"Is that him, Kiima-chan?" The little boy spoke up, tugging on the Captain's silks and pointing to the man before them.

"Yes, Lord Saffron." She stated simply and the boy disengaged his hand from hers, steping toward Ranma, who was already tensing for a confrontation. Little kid or not, he knew bird-boys ultimate potential. Ain't no way-

Whatever thoughts were flowing through the martial artists brain were immediately derailed as the orange and red haired boy fell to his knee before him, prostrating himself fully before Ranma.

"On behalf of the Phoenix People, I wish to thank you for your efforts here and now."

Ranma blinked. That had been the last thing he had been expecting. The kid was… polite? A far cry from the arrogant brat he and his friends had first encountered. The questioning look didn't go unnoticed by Kiima.

"As I mentioned earlier, I have taken it upon myself to ensure that the past is not doomed to repeat itself." She supplied, and Ranma nodded dumbly.

"His age?"

"We mature far more quickly than humans do." The Phoenix Captain replied as the little Saffron recovered from his bow, now looking up at Ranma curiously. "He should reach the age you first met him in about another year and a half. Only then will he be able to endure an accelerated ascension within our mystical springs."

"Can I have a cookie?"

Ranma blinked, as the question was clearly directed at him and was a sharp contrast from the utter seriousness of the gratitude he was displayed only moments before. "Uh…"

"Not now, your Highness." Kiima saved him from the crestfallen look the boy produced. "It will spoil your appetite."

Ranma could hardly believe it. His former adversary, the one who had nearly killed him and Akane… "Awwww, you're no fun!" Then Saffron turned back to him. "Is it really true you change into a girl?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Like Kiima?" the boy pressed, and Ranma shook his head.

"Not like Kiima." Ranma shook his head, then with a conspiratorial smile, leaned down into the boys ear. "Better looking."

"I heard that." Kiima grumbled as Saffron's eyes widened, then smiled herself. "Considering what I've heard, you've adapted rather well to your condition."

"Feh, not like I'm gonna get rid of it anytime soon." Ranma dismissed the subtle jab easily. That, and it's fun to screw with the brains of former enemies, he mused silently as the little Phoenix king blinked curiously at him. Kiima stared at him a moment longer and simply shrugged, lacking a weapon with which to taunt the martial artist further. "How much does the kid remember, anyway?"

"Not much." Kiima admitted. "The Greater among us remember little until they ascend, especially when it is forced, such as our attempt last time. He would eventually come into his own memories, but not for months afterward."

"Explains why he was a complete…" Ranma's insult stalled, finding little Saffron staring at him with child-like innocence. "Eh, explains the issues he had last time."

"True." The captain agreed. "Until they come into their hereditary memory, Greaters are heavily dependent on their upbringing in the here and now. If that upbringing is lacking…"

"Right." The martial artist agreed, having all too much experience in what a lacking childhood could do to an adult. Sadly, not just in Saffron. Ranma turned to the little boy now. "How much you remember of me, squirt?"

Saffron considered the question, concentrating. "I, um… Remember you… We used to play together! With your friends!"

Ranma sighed. The kid's memory was swiss cheese, obviously. Yeah, they played together. They played rough. No point in encouraging that memory though. "Yeah, sure we did, kid."

"Let's leave Ranma for now." Kiima inserted, pulling the child back. "He needs all the rest he can get for tomorrow."

"'Kay. Night, Ranma-kun! Let's play tomorrow!"

Ranma was left dumbfounded as the pair left his nest. 'Let's play tomorrow', he thought sarcastically. Yeah, right after I save everybody from a slow, withering death.

* * *

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stared at his goal once more, the darkened eight meter tall crystal suspended above a pit of lava that gurgled angrily at him. Unlike yesterday, the Phoenix had seen fit to provide him with robes that would withstand the heat he was now being subjected to, as his last pair of Chinese silks had burned severely. Red and black continued to flutter in the updraft as before while the martial artist stared into his own faded reflection, mentally preparing himself.

Even that wasn't as easy as it sounded.

While the breakfast they had provided was more than ample, the last nights sleep had quite literally been hell. As a rule, Ranma didn't dream much, and whatever he did dream was fairly guilt free on average. Not so last night. Last night the dead came to haunt him, pleading for his help. They followed him throughout China, begging him. Back to Japan. And all the while, he didn't have the power.

The Saotome shook the memories of last night away even as his entourage stood back in hopeful silence. Either he could do this or he couldn't. With that thought, Ranma pooled his power once more, committing nearly every reserve he possessed into one massive core of power. His hand made contact with the crystal and pain seared through his palm once again, distracting him momentarily as he continued to build the core.

Almost…

NOW.

"_AHHHHAAARRRR!"_

Ranma Saotome dumped everything he had into the transfer, illuminating both himself and the Phoenix Crystal in bright blue flash that was over in seconds. When Kiima's vision finally cleared, she found the crystal slightly brighter and Ranma collapsed upon the platform.

_The damn fool must have put nearly everything into that last attempt!_ She thought, then turned back over her shoulder. "Masoru! Karou!" The pair rushed forward without further prompting, hefting the martial artist up and away from the ledge where upon an Elder in attendance knelt down to inspect him.

"Physically, he's healthy…" The graying old man reported as he let his hand hover over Ranma's head, then chest. "His chi, however, is severely depleted."

"Hardly surprising." Grumbled another elder. "That was about a weeks worth that time. Impressive for a mortal."

"But still not enough." Kiima surmised. "Take him back to his nest so that he may recover."

As she watched the teen being carried away on a stretcher, the Phoenix Captain couldn't help but to feel despair. Ranma Saotome had been their last hope. There were no other others. No more Greater Phoenix. No artifacts of power. And now, no Ranma Saotome, one of the few mortals to beat a Greater in single combat.

In short, their fate had been sealed.

* * *

The pigtailed marital artist's view faded back into existence with a couple of blinks and a massive headache that seemed to drive a red hot spike through his brain. Served him right, he thought through the dull throb of pain and set to task of sitting upright. That's what he got for helping arch nemesis. A shuffling to his right caught the martial artist's attention, who turned to find a boy red eyes and fiery orange-red hair staring at him

"Uh, what's up, Squirt?"

"You okay, Ranma-kun?" the boy asked and Ranma winced with the sincerity in his former arch nemesis' tone.

"Yeah, just got one mother of a headache…" He massaged his temples and swung his legs out of bed. Now if he could manage to stand upright…

"Kiima-chan said you shouldn't try to walk for the rest of the-" Saffron blinked as Ranma took to his feet with a slight wobble.

"Kiima-chan is still in the habit of underestimatin' me." The teen stated as he fought for balance while his equilibrium stabilized. "Damn that last attempt really sucked it outta me."

"Was it enough?" The boy asked innocently, causing Ranma to frown.

"Not even close." He admitted truthfully. It irritated him, quite frankly. He was the best. Given time, he might be able to dump a significant amount of ki into the stone, but the Phoenix people didn't have that sort of time. A goddamn prodigy he might have been, but there were only so many ways you could build up inhuman reservoirs of ki without killing yourself in the process, and those took time. It all amounted to one thing…

Ranma Saotome was going to lose this one.

"And we shall keep our end of the agreement." The pigtailed teen turned to the new voice, not even needing to see her to know it was Kiima in the doorway. "You may depart with our blessing and thanks. Your efforts were far more than the Phoenix expected, given our…" She looked down at Saffron next to him and smiled slightly. "…mutual history."

The three stood in silence for a moment until Ranma let out a sigh. He hated losing. "So do you have a backup?"

"We are presently combing every square inch of our archives for just such an alternative." Kiima replied and Ranma turned to his pack, stuffing what little he had chosen to unpack earlier back in. "Suffice to say, however…"

"That I wouldn't be here if you were that confident you'd find something." Ranma finished, eliciting a frank nod from the Captain.

"Regardless, you have more than proven yourself." Kiima continued. "Our elders say you rode yourself to very edge in that last attempt. We can ask little more of you."

Ranma stared at the pack as if it were the ultimate symbol of his failure. "Look, I don't like leavin' like this. I don't lose. Is there anything I can…?"

"No, and frankly, it would be better if you did so." The statement earned the Saotome's undivided attention and Kiima elaborated. "If nothing changes we _will_ fall, and history has demonstrated that the fall of great civilizations tends to be less than civilized. People will undoubtedly looking for something or _somebody_ to blame."

'Somebody', such as the martial artist who set this entire chain of events in motion, Ranma surmised grimly. Damn it. Damn, damn, _damn_… He shook his head. There had to be a solution. Had to be something to prevent last nights dream from coming to pass. He wouldn't much cry if it was just Saffron. Kiima dyin' would cause him to lose little sleep. But an entire goddman race?

"There's always a solution…" He mumbled to himself as his hand closed around the packs' straps. "Always a way to win…" But what was this one? Even if he went all out and sacrificed the last of his ki into the crystal, it'd only gain them a handful of days. Ranma shook his head and hefted the backpack across his shoulder, leveling a no-nonsense stare into Kiima. "I ain't givin' up. Ranma Saotome don't lose and I'll keep searching for a way to help yas."

"But there isn't…"

"There's _always_ a way to win." Kiima almost shuddered at the hardened ice that was now manifest in his gaze. "Ask anybody who knows me. I eat long odds for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

The only question now was just what he'd have to do to beat these odds.

* * *

The departure from Phoenix Mountain was mostly a somber affair, kept only in the 'mostly' category by the happy, go-lucky child Saffron, who insisted on accompanying him to the ledge he had first gained entrance. Beyond that, it was almost a hero's farewell in reverse, as the populace of the mountain turned out to wish The Man Who Had Tried to Help But Failed a farewell.

That in it self had been eye opening for Ranma, as the sick were revealed to him for the first time since his visit. These men, women and children were pale imitations of their brethren and looked almost starved. Life was literally draining out of them and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. If the Phoenix fell, those faces would haunt him until his final days. They were sunken bone, while the feathers that graced the wings on their backs appeared to be falling out. Brittle husks aptly described these victims of war and Ranma cursed the series of events that had brought them all to this point. If Saffron hadn't tried to kill them… If they had just let Saffron use Jusendo…

It was a damn orgy of tragedy and misunderstanding on a massive scale.

His first stop would be the Amazons, he had decided on his way down the mountain. The price for their help would be a high one, Ranma knew without a doubt. First, their relationship with the Phoenix was tenuous at best, while their active pursuit for him only aggravated matters. If they only asked for him to marry Shampoo, he'd be lucky.

Ranma grumbled at the thought, a thought that was quickly checked by the realization of exactly why he was doing it. Exactly how much of a sacrifice was too much when faced with the deaths of few thousand people? His freedom? The freedom of his children? God only knew the asking price the Amazon's would impose, and that was assuming they could help to begin with. Not as if there was a spring of drowned…

Ranma stopped short, turning back down the rock path and staring up at the volcano he had just descended. No, that wouldn't work… Even the Phoenix themselves had to hold the potential to become a Greater Phoenix for_ that_ to work. Kiima had explained it in detail. Every volunteer that tried the accelerated ascension had been encased in an egg and died because they never held that potential. She didn't elaborate on exactly how many had sacrificed themselves in just such a manner, but he gathered the number was in keeping with their desperation; that is to say high.

Still… The Amazon's wouldn't help. If there was one thing he knew, it was Cologne and her wiles. Even if she decided to help their ancient enemies survive, the price would be too high. His own allegiance to them he could stomach, but God only knew how many generations of his own blood he'd have to promise into slavery afterwards. He'd have no leverage and no hope for the favor he was asking. Hell, that didn't even take into the very real possibility that they'd all stab him in the back one way or another. Dealing with the Amazons were like dealing with Nabiki, save the fact that the Amazons played their games on deceptively lethal terms. 'Course, Shampoo wasn't all that bad a consolation prize, but there was something to be said about living free or die trying, and Ranma didn't fancy the thought of living out his days as a second class citizen of the Jotsuzuke.

But if the Phoenix did have the water… Heck, at least one of them had to have drowned in Jusenkyo some time in the last four thousand years or so… Lord knew everything else had. He could try it like that at first, and if that didn't work…

Not like he had any better ideas on the horizon in the time allotted.

His course decided, Ranma Saotome turned back toward Phoenix Mountain and his fate.

* * *

"You must be joking." Kiima spat at the assembly of elders before her, numbering twelve total. Under normal circumstances they served whichever Phoenix held power, that being of the Greater variety. Though they were a base of knowledge and wisdom to be drawn upon, days such of these hardly qualified as normal and thus the power they were granted had grown accordingly to deal with the crisis. The Captain of Phoenix Mountain grumbled internally at this thought. While virtual martial law didn't grant them total power, it gave them just enough to inflate their egos and generally become pains in the asses.

Her ass, mostly.

"Which of you fools came up with this idea?"

"It's the only way!" One of the wrinkled old men hissed, stepping forward. That would be him, Kiima decided and frowned as the elder continued. "Your champion has failed and now we have little choice but to-"

"SILENCE!" The Captain stepped forward, allowing her hand to rest on the hilt of the blade strapped to her him. The inclusion of Koruma and Masara at her back only served to drive the point home. "We will not stoop to blood sacrifice for such petty gain!" Her baleful gaze swept every across every one of the men and women before her now. "I've seen same scrolls you have. That technique will buy us three months after the crystal dies. It's not worth the blood we'll have to spill to buy it."

Another elder had just stepped forward to insert his own opinion when a new voice stopped them all cold.

"Somethin' telling me that search of the archives didn't go so well."

All eyes turned toward the grand archway to find a black hair pigtailed teen sauntering in with an expression that held faint, if manufactured amusement. The guards at the arch had already stood aside to admit him entrance, and the gathering of Elders stared with wide eyes. Even Kiima herself was shocked to see the martial artist so soon, but schooled her expression into one of cool expectance, if only to spite the old assembly behind her. "True. Neither did the following next three scourings."

"Huh." Ranma Saotome walked up to Kiima as Koruma and Masara stood at relaxed guard. "And blood sacrifice is the best you could come up with."

It was hardly a question and Kiima simply nodded, allowing the silence to speak for itself. Thankfully, the same idiot elder from before saved her the troubling explanation that tended to follow discussions on using the life blood of innocents to fuel ones selfish desire to live a scant few more months.

"Don't judge us, Landling!" The graying old man turned his spite on Ranma, who simply stared back impassively. "What would you do to save something precious to you? To save your entire race?"

"I'd be willing to kill a god."

Any further argument from the old man died instantly on his lips as the point was driven home with all the penetration of a fifty caliber round through hot butter. In that moment, every single person in the room was reminded once more just who they were dealing with, as it was easy to forget that the unassuming blue eyed boy was the one single handedly responsible in forcing Saffron's rebirth. The moment passed as the look of stone flowed from his face, replaced by a more casual demeanor.

"Jusenkyo's been around for a few thousand years, right?" Kiima blinked at the liquidity of the young man's mood and sudden change in topic.

"Er, yes." She fought through her lapse in thought. "Three thousand four hundred and eighty to be exact."

"Created during the Great Sundering." An elderly woman elaborated, brushing strands of fading orange hair from her head. "It was there that the great armies of the-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Ranma waved any further explanations off. It was undoubtedly a very, very tragic tale that was of no concern of his. "Don't care. How many of yas have fallen in?"

Silence greeted his queries for a moment until another elder stepped from the group, this one obviously not faring well in light of the crisis they faced. His feathers were faded and it was obvious the old man was struggling to remain upright. That didn't, however, stop his righteous indignation. "The Phoenix don't fall into Jusenkyo, _boy_. We are the mighty Phoenix! We-"

Ranma rolled his eyes and Kiima found herself staring at the boy in fascination. "_Please._" He cut another elder off with little regard as to their rank or station. "Everything has fallen into that damn place, so where's the Spring of Drowned Phoenix?"

"We told you, the Phoenix don't-!"

"Destroyed." Ranma's head rotated on Kiima at the word. "Near the beginning of Jusenkyo's creation when its nature was still unknown. One of our brethren foolishly strayed too close to the spring's settling chaotic energies and was all but dragged in."

Ranma nodded, his guess all but confirmed. "Then all we gotta do is wait for the Springs to settle and-"

"No." Kiima stopped the martial artist. "As soon as our people realized the nature of Jusenkyo and what it had become, the Phoenix Lord of the day, Tsingtao annihilated it himself."

"Damn." Ranma whispered, his body poster instantly fading from confidence to defeat. "Guess I get to talk to the Amazons then."

"Amazons?" The Captain's ears perked up. "What were you planning, Ranma Saotome?"

"Somethin' marginally better than a blood sacrifice." He grumbled, decidedly not thrilled with the prospect of dealing with Cologne. "Look, it don't matter now."

Kiima considered the teen for a moment before spinning around on a heeled boot. "Koruma. Masara. Go to the royal vault and fetch the Abysmal Staff. Full guard."

The pair snapped to attention immediately and were gone out of the room nearly as fast as Ranma could draw his next breath. Now he couldn't help but to look curiously at the Captain of Phoenix Mountain. "What's that about?"

"While the spring did not survive, samples were taken." Kiima explained. "Less than a handful remain to this day."

"You can't DO this!" the most annoying elder stepped forward, quivering with rage. The Royal Apocathary requires those samples to-"

"ENOUGH!" Silver blurred through a glassy arc and the sound of steel hummed through the air as Kiima's sword cleared its sheath. When it was visible once more, Ranma found it pointing squarely at the old man's forehead. "Mind your station, fool. The role of an advisor is to _advise_, not dictate."

"I, uh... that is..."

"Were you to look beyond you petty ambitions, you would realize that another sacrifice is taking place." Her lavender gazer fixed upon the old man like a skewer, causing him to sweat visibly. "Have you thought about what, exactly, the Saotome is asking?"

"I..."

The sword wavered, and the Phoenix woman pulled it away and re-sheathed it in one smooth motion. "Of course you haven't." She sighed, shaking her head in disappoint as if confronted by a clueless child, then turned to Ranma. "Are you absolutely certain?"

"Don't see no other choice." Ranma shrugged with a look that belied the seriousness of what he was about to undertake. "Don't see no other way to boost my power before ya guys buy it. Can't say I'm happy 'bout it, but then dealin' with the Amazon's ain't at the top of my list either."

Another elder from the assembly of twelve present suddenly realized the martial artist's intent, his jaw dropping. "You can't me serious... Even if you do, there's no guarantee that you'll have the required power! The original victim wasn't even a Greater!"

"He's right." Kiima nodded solemnly. "In fact, you might very well sentence yourself to our very fate, as a Phoenix curse will more than likely tie you into our power structure... Or lack thereof."

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't." He deadpanned, watching the tanned Phoenix Masara return to their chamber with a golden staff in hand, flanked by Koruma and another ten fully armed and armored Phoenix. It was a rather plain golden rod, the martial artist noted as he studied the staff that warranted so much security. Plain, aside from the pair of silver on gold wings at the tip encircling a larger, decorated cylinder. "Don't suppose the victim was a guy was he?"

"Spring of Drowned Phoenix Girl." Kiima replied with a humorless smile and Ranma huffed.

"Figures." He shrugged, watching Masara hand the stave off to Kiima, who in turn began to unscrew the top of the winged cylinder. "Then we'll just use it on my girl type. Shouldn't be too much different."

"That will not work." The reprimanded elder forwarded, his attitude effectively curbed by Kiima's threat into something a bit more... contributing. "The curses have been found to be additive. If it is power you seek through the water, applying it to your cursed self will quite possibly muddy it into ineffectiveness."

Ranma Saotome arched an eyebrow, considering the old feathered mans words. That'd make sense, he realized, his thoughts turning toward Pantyhose Taro. _He_ came back with goddamn tentacles. God forbid I actually jump into the Spring of Drowned Man as a girl, he mused darkly as visions of some of Daisuke and Hiroshi's doushinji manga came to mind. "As a guy then?"

"Will debase your current curse in favor of the new one." Another elder replied. "Which is why it is considered a cure if applied correctly."

"Right." The martial artist nodded. All in all, it shouldn't be too far removed from what he had already experienced. Would have been better if it was a guy Phoenix though, he grumbled mentally. By then, Kiima had already retrieved a long crystal vial from the staff and handed it back to Masara.

"Regardless of how the curse works, the fact remains that you still might not have the power even as a Phoenix." Kiima fingered the vial, careful not to disturb the cork stopper holding the liquid therein.

"Yeah, thought about that after you went over the whole Greater Phoenix bit." Ranma stepped up to Kiima, taking the vial into his own hands. "If it don't work, then we go with plan 'b'."

"Plan 'b'?"

Ranma uncorked the vial with a grim smile. "Those hot springs of yours still working, right?"

* * *

**Chapter THREE**

**R**anma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stared at the full length mirror, taking in every detail that was reflected back at her from its golden phoenix decorated surface. Physically, there was a lot to take in, and the first thing her eyes were drawn to were the wings now adorning her back. She could actually feel them, flex them and once she gathered enough courage, could probably fly with them. _That _was a sobering enough thought. They were predominantly white, with a fleck of orange-crimson here and to offset their purity of color. She extended one somewhat hesitantly, staring at it through the mirror. It was like a new, rarely use muscle, Ranma noted silently. She could use it and feel it as if it were a part of her, but fine motor control was obviously lacking. Must be what Shampoo, Ryoga and Mousse went through with their curses, she realized in her introspection.

Other details weren't quite as obvious until one focused on them, and Ranma brought her left hand to eye level. What had once been the delicate, but hardened fingers of a female martial artist now extended into razor sharp talons. She could now without a doubt disembowel an opponent if she wasn't careful, a revelation that caused Ranma to frown. They were easily every bit as lethal as the ki claws of the neko-ken. Her hair had also taken a slightly more exotic twist with the transformation, gaining subtle orange highlights that, while nearly imperceptible in indoor lighting, shifted in the natural sunlight as if on fire. Aside those notables and the occasional tuft of reddish feathers sprouting from behind her ears, her physical form remained largely unchanged. It was a dubious blessing in the Saotome's eyes. On one hand she hadn't really gotten any worse. Assuming one could ignore the details, her looks would still undoubtedly charm the average stranger or random ice cream clerk, though she found herself wishing for a closer approximation to her male figure; that being taller and slightly less… developed. Ranma shrugged at that last thought. Regardless, it was a form she was comfortable with these days and that comfort lent an anchor of stability despite the storm of change she had endured. Besides, if she was going to be a woman- or Phoenix for that matter -she might as well be cursed to be a good looking one.

Wings, she could live with. Talons? Okay, sure. Even the stray feather here and there was doable; even if a soft down had been found in places best left unmentioned. But then there were the eyes. Her pure blue eyes still reflected back at her from the mirror, but with a notable difference: The iris were now slits. That change alone lent her features a far more predatory look than what could have been accomplished by the wings and claws alone. It wasn't just _how_ they looked either.

It was what she _saw_ through them.

What had once been 20/20 vision was now impossibly acute, and Ranma was finding it difficult not to fixate on whatever here gaze rested upon, studying it with an intensity previously unknown to her. Subtle differences in textures that she would have never noticed as a human now stood out like night and day, while the distance that she could perceive such detail had increased to a dramatic extreme.

That had been the most obvious change, but she could tell others were waiting beneath the surface to manifest themselves. _In an undoubtedly unpleasant manner_, she snorted to herself.

"You make a pretty Phoenix, Ranma!"

Ranma's eyes flicked across her own reflection and to that of her nest entrance, where a little boy she knew all too well stood. She rolled her eyes as the once and future king of the Phoenix stepped into her temporary residence. "Don't get used to it, kiddo. Once I'm done helpin' yas all out, it's back to being a guy for me."

The boy seemed to frown at her words, but it was a short lived one as he stepped closer, eyeing Ranma with intense curiosity. "Kiima is teaching me how to fly. Can you fly yet?"

"Heh, hardly." Ranma laughed, turning away from the mirror and slowly flexing her wings outward. "Can barely extend the damn things without screwin' up my balance. Almost as bad as when I got my first curse."

"Kiima doesn't like her change." Saffron commented, studying Ranma's new wings closely. "Says it feels like an anchor on her soul or something."

Ranma arched an eyebrow at the profound thought, but otherwise smirked. "Serves her right. She's the one that took a dunk in the Spring of Drowned Tomboy."

"Tomboy?" the gleaming orange and red haired boy blinked. "No, she becomes a groundling just like you."

"Nevermind." Ranma chuckled softly. Even as she was about to change the topic, another movement in the doorway caught her eye and Ranma smiled. "Speaking of which…"

"I trust I am not intruding?" the Captain of the Phoenix offered as she stepped into the nest. Ranma shook her head and Kiima took the invitation to remain. "How are you…adapting?"

"Aside from the weirdness and my balance being all screwy again, just peachy." Ranma answered with slight, but innocent sarcasm. "Felt that drain you mentioned too. Been pluggin' the hole with ki, but it's a pretty big hole."

"That would be the open connection that is our crisis." Kiima stated, utterly serious. "A Greater Phoenix would normally feed his brethren, or failing that, draw upon the crystal reserves. Unfortunately and as you are already well aware, Saffron is too young to ascend, while the drain upon the crystal prolonged and intense. If it holds out another two months we will be lucky."

"Gettin' a better idea of what yer facin' with each passing moment." Ranma commented, staring down at the boy who was simultaneously the problem and the solution. "Look, I'm more than willin' to buy you the time you need, but I got my doubts."

"Doubts?"

"Doubts." Ranma reiterated. "Takin' this form has deepened my ki reserves, but after years of training, I have a good idea where I stand. I don't think it's gonna be enough, frankly."

"Damn." The woman whispered, eyeing Ranma intensely. "Are you sure? Can you at least try?"

"Heh. Didn't go through all this trouble to pack up and go home." Ranma shook her head, adjusting the crimson and black body wrap she now wore to accommodate her wings as if to emphasis the point. "I said I'll try, but just warnin' ya, plan 'b' is looking less like 'b' and more like 'a' at the moment."

"I… see." The Captain concluded hesitantly. "Then we should prepare the hot springs."

"Yeah, I ain't lookin forward to it either." Ranma grumbled aloud. "Two helpings of Jusenkyo is more than enough for one lifetime. Don't need any more magical crap piled on me."

"_This_ magical 'crap' could kill you." Kiima stated, deadly serious. "Saffron is a known variable. He was once a Greater and will be once more when he is old enough to endure the accelerated ascension. Those without such potential die in the transformation. They are magically encapsulated in an egg and forced to undergo a rapid metamorphosis, only to perish under the stress they are forced to endure. It is painful, lonely death."

"Yeah, been there, done that, almost bought the t-shirt." Ranma returned flippantly as the memories of her own near entombment surfaced. "Not as if I got much choice now with this hole in my ki."

"You can return to your male form." Kiima stated, eliciting a frown from Ranma.

"Sure, but what's gonna happen when I change back?" He asked rhetorically. "And make no mistake, cold water _will _find me and I _will_ change back. You oughta know that better than most people."

It was true, Kiima realized. Sure, she had taken on the Akane curse for the greater good at the time, but nobody had mentioned just how damn annoying it was to be splashed several times a day, as the magic itself attracted its very trigger. So what happens to a Phoenix who reverts back to their native form with no power source to draw upon? The Captain shook her head. It probably wouldn't be pretty by any means.

"Besides, I gave ya all my word, and between you and me, it's better than the alternative."

"What alternative is that, Ranma?" Saffron spoke up for the first time since the adults began to converse. Ranma fixed the red eyed Phoenix prince with a intense gaze.

"Amazons."

Both Saffron and Kiima nodded, needing no further explanation.

* * *

Ranma Saotome stared once more at his newest nemesis, the Phoenix Crystal.

So far she had come up oh for two against it, and wasn't exactly liking the odds on the third round either. She knew her limits as a martial artist, and while her newly infused ki had grown, the redhead was all but certain that her supply would come nowhere close to fueling the demand or the reservoir she was attempting to feed. Once again she put her hands against the dimly glowing surface and was pleasantly surprised that her newly acquired body found its temperature much more tolerable than her previous attempts, regardless of the fact that it continued to be suspended over a molten pool of lava while super heated updrafts wafted around her.

The updrafts were surprising in themselves as they buffeted her new wings and triggered something in her psyche… An urgent longing that she knew for a fact hadn't been present before, yet remained unidentifiable. It was all she was able to do to keep those wings from spreading out quite involuntarily to… Ranma shook her head in order to banish the impulse. She was here to do a job, not indulge in her bodies newfound quirks.

Taloned fingers clicked against the crystalline surface and she concentrated, manifesting a light blue glow as the assembled entourage of royalty, guardians and advisors looked on. Just like before, Ranma decided. The crystal had accepted her power before, so if it worked, why fix it? The martial artist-turned-phoenix pooled her power into an astral ball, forcing it along the ki paths of her body and into what were now her talons. There, the build-up of ki waited as she fed its core, the crystal waiting to eagerly suck it up. With a final push of will, Ranma committed the last of her reserves and thrust the virtual moko takabisha into its crystalline maw.

The muscular tension of her body instantly dissolved as the ball of super dense ki left her, fueling the massive stone with pure light blue radiance before settling back into a dull glow. Ranma's audience was blinded in that split second, and when they finally came to, found their savior an inert mass of flesh and feather before them. Koruma and Masara needed no prompting this time and ran to the martial artist side and hefted her up off the platform and to a more stable location, where an attending physician looked the girl over.

Kiima simply remained neutral as she watched the Royal Physician attend to Ranma. She had felt the energy spike clearly that time, but in the end, the martial artist had proven correct in her assessment of the transformation and the affects on her ki reserves. It was significant, but again, not nearly enough to cover the deepening deficit within the crystal. With their latest fears confirmed, the Phoenix Captain, pulled Koruma to her side and issued the fateful order.

"Ready the spring."

* * *

Ranma studied the hallway she was now transversing, flinching slightly with all the memories it was triggering from her last stay in mountain. 'Stay' was perhaps an inappropriate descriptive for the Nermian rescue mission that was, in reality, a full blow assault. They had taken this very walkway that would inevitably lead her once again into the magical springs that were to have been Saffron's path to ascension; soon to be hers. The lack of sufficient geological plumbing had diverted the Phoenix to Jusendo and thus the final, climatic battle that had led her back full circle to this very spot, along this very hallway.

The irony was positively sickening, in Ranma's humble opinion.

But this time, she wasn't the adversary. _Hell, this time, she had wings_, she groused mentally. Honor had led Ranma to this point. It had forced her into the original confrontation with Saffron and now it was forcing her down this very path to save his people, many of whom were innocent bystanders in that private little war fought months ago. Had she a slightly less developed conscious, she would have called them casualties of war or simply chalked it up to their just deserts. That's probably what her father would have done. Of course, there was a reason she had taken great pains not to emulate her father's behavior.

The soft sigh Ranma produced went unnoticed by her escort as they closed on the entrance into the main foyer and the Spring itself. In front of her was Kiima, Captain of Phoenix Mountain and interim commander and chief until her Lord Saffron- current walking along side Ranma -was old enough to ascend by the very means she was about to utilize. Behind the martial artist Koruma and Masara stepped in time with a short platoon of armed Phoenix in tow, while the Counsel Elders brought up the rear of their procession. _Damn honor_, she continued to grumble mentally. Always leading me into situations like this one. It wasn't another moment before she and her escorts stepped into 'this one', a steam filled chamber carved out of solid lava rock, richly decorated with all the trappings of royalty. This is where her honor had led to now, and possibly her death. This time the low chuckle made it past her lips. Then again, nobody ever said honor was fair. Besides, if she was to go down, there were worse things to go down for than trying to save an ancient civilization.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Kiima pressed. "This spring represents either life or death. Unlike your attempts with the stone, there is no in between."

The redhead contemplated her words for a moment as their group began to spread out around the springs' edge, then took a step towards it herself.

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stared into the steaming pool of water with no small amount trepidation. A sidelong glance across the rippling surface revealed the expectant visage of the white haired Captain Kiima with the child Saffron at her side. Behind her stood Koruma and Masara; to their right, the advisors and royal court. The crowd were all waiting for one thing and one thing only.

Her.

The martial artist stared down into the pool fed by a phoenix figure head while the twitches at her back reminded her of the events leading up to this crucial moment. All she had to do was take a final step into the bath to complete the cycle …_Or so they said,_ Ranma thought darkly. They weren't even sure whether it would work or not, but she was honor-bound to try. Besides, Ranma thought, she was long past the point of no return already. With a finally look to the winged entourage, she took a deep breath and frowned.

"This had better be worth it."

The Captain of Phoenix Mountain nodded. "For all of our sakes."

She held Kiima's gaze for another moment before stepping fully into the body of water, kneeling down to immerse herself within. At first, she felt nothing. Then a tingle. A minute later, her eyes widened as crystalline thread began to race across her skin, sprouting up from the water and entangling her body. Her first reflex was to fight the threads and she found them every bit as unyielding as the first time she had encountered them only months ago in Saffron's presence. This time, however, the entrapment was voluntarily. The redhead forced calm throughout her body and allowed the threads to take her, deadening appendages as they encased her entire body. It wasn't five minutes before they had nearly covered her, and a feeling of sleepy lethargy overcame her consciousness. Now she would either die, or…

The final fissure closed over Ranma, sealing her into a world of darkness.

* * *

Vision.

"_Would you like to be friends?"_

"_I'll destroy your happiness!"_

"_Pick the one you want. She's your fiancée."_

"_The life of a martial artist is fraught with peril, Boy."  
"Sweeto!"_

"_You enemy of women!"_

"_What can I get you today, Ran-chan?"_

"_Nihao Ranma!"_

"_That's my manly son!"_

The faces of ghosts floated through her disembodied consciousness, bringing with them fragments of memories, some fond, others best forgotten. Not that the disembodied consciousness had a choice in the matter as they seemed to float around her in an unbidden tempest around her. Names. Places. Memories. They all floated in the twilight around her and any effort she made to reach out to them failed as they floated beyond her grasp. All of her strengths. All of her weakness. Her pride. Her Victories. Her failures. All laid bare before her and all just beyond her reach. _Look, but don't touch._

Flight.

The geothermal rises caught her essence and the disembodied consciousness quickly found herself being carried aloft, away from the molten core that was Phoenix Mountain and up the primary vent. She raced upward with a gentleness that belied the speeds she had obtains, shooting out of the dormant volcano as if she herself was pyroclastic fragment. Free of the thermal plum the kernel of awareness drifted away from the mountain and across the Bayankala range and the greenery that carpeted the earth for hundreds of miles in every direction. Her attention turned to the west and she drifted over a clearing that shown with brilliant speckles of reflected sunlight. A closer look would have revealed the numerous bamboo poles jetting skyward, as if they were reaching out to grab her.

But, no. they had already gotten her twice. A third time would not do at all.

She allowed the wind to carry her away to the west and beyond another ridge of mountains. Nestled between them was a small community of huts with specs that went about their daily business. Amazons, of course the disembodied awareness realized.

They would not have her either, though she would have to deal with them in time.

The updraft from the nearby mountain range caught her once more as she crossed the ridge, sending her spiraling higher and higher, until the clouds were her only companions. Blue sky and clouds. And…

Power.

The vision before her evaporated abruptly as if it were a fragile negative exposed into incandescing brilliance. Streamers of fire danced and burned around her, weaving their essence through her very being. They found the memories like snakes and consumed them, flashing to life like micro novas as they did so. Those ethereal detonations set off there brethren nearby and soon the corporeal intelligence was a supernatural pyre, dancing with heat and fury. It was all she could to do to maintain cohesion as each explosion threatened to tear her very essence apart. Experience would shatter and break away under the stress. She grabbed at the burning fragments desperately. A memory would dislodge as a micro nova cooked of violently. She replaced it before it could float beyond her reach.

Another cluster cooked off and she knew searing pleasure.

And unyielding pain.

The fiery weave was now integral to her being, too deeply entrenched to remove even if she had wanted to do so in the first place. This was the path; the only one she could take. Fire heated her very soul now, building with intensity as the weave strengthened, pulsing with a life of it's own. Nor would it remain confined It would seek others, she realized, tying them to her. She was the link. The cornerstone. The foundation upon which all was built. The eternal, flaming pillar to forever light the way…

The flaming pillar died away, leaving her glowing as the only light to illuminate the endless night.

* * *

**Author's Notes;**  
Don't look at me like that. I warned you all this one was coming :p This is the second story in my selfproclaimed 'ification' trilogy, and if the match here isn't obvious, well, take another look at the title. I'm also commiting to the third book right here and now. It shall thus be named… **Shinjification!**

With that out of the way, let's clear this one up- All fics are live. Do yourself a favor and assume you'll get another chapter until I call a ToD.

_The Dark Crystal;_ One of my most favorite creations by Jim henson, it's my inspiration for the Phoenix Crystal. Whay you try to imagine it, think Dark Crystal.

_Power Structure;_ Saffron is reported to be his peoples heat and power. Of course, canon paints this in a rather silly light if you look at that chapter, but if we assume that he was actually serious about that fact, I have constructed a method by which Saffron literally is, feeding power and more importantly life to his people. This trickle-down power structure is my interpretaion of that.

_Honor;_ i wanted to creat not only a situation that was powerless for Ranma to ignore through his code of honor, but one where the events he instigates have a much larger impact than any he has previously known. Up until this point, his life has little impact outside Nermia and this is the first time he has had to actually deal with the large scale responsibility for his actions.I have _Minthil's_ story "Ranma's Little Dryad" to thank for this piece of inspiration, that is Ranma dealing with the larger consequences of his actions.

_Innortal;_ I got nothin' but respect for you bro :D

Hella Thanks; To DCG, MageOhki, DeltaTheta and a few last minute shots from Trimatter. Peeps kick ass.

* * *

_**Part Two : Rebirth  
**Chapter 4_

**A**kane tendo threw her bag of books across the room where upon they impacted the headboard of her bed and rebound with some force, boucing twice before settling on the beigh surface of the spread. It was a practiced shot she had performed many times before and thus failed to give the landing zone a second glance before proceeding to the desk. Of course, things didn't always go that smoothly, the University freshman admitted silently as she reached for a small misshapen stack of letters piled among the clutter of the desk. One time she had performed the exact same shot without looking, only to realize Hitomi was lounging in the landing zone a moment too late.

It had taken the better part of two weeks to get back into her roommate's good graces.

Bill. Junk. Junk. Bill. Junk. Shiny Gold decorated envelope with Phoenix Emblems and-

The youngest Tendo blinked. Phoenix emblems meant exactly one thing and one thing only, that thing instantly confirmed by the Chinese writing scrawled incomprehensively across the surface in exaggerated script.

"Ranma!"

The name escaped her lips quite unbiddenly and once she realized it, amended his title to "That jerk, Ranma!"

Jerk, was of course, an apt descriptive as any for the fiancé that had skipped town no less than three years ago. Unlike many of the other epitates she sometimes substituted for his name, this one was one of affection. Kinda. He may have skipped town, but he had kept in more or less regular contact, though this particular correspondence was the most elaborately decorated to date. Normally, it came in non-descript plain white envelopes.

"Whoa, who's that from, 'kane?" The dark haired girl was broken from her trance and glanced up, finding her roommate slipping through the door. Hitomi smiled. "Wait, let me guess- That jerk Ranma?"

Akane produced a crisp nod and the black haired girl with twin pigtails stepped in closer, staring at the golden leaflet adorning the post. "Wow. Getting fancy this time."

Akane produced another crisp nod and went back to staring at the letter. Hitomi was right, even if she didn't follow the thought to the next, most logical conclusion. It was a sharp departure from the normally plain post she received from the Quinghai providence, which in turn indicated that it held something of portent. A tapping foot caught her attention and her eyes swivleved back onto Hitomi, who appeared to be growing quite impatient.

"Well, you going to open it or admire the pretty gold birds all day?"

"Uh, right." With that, she flipped it over and found a wax seal, imbedded with an elaborate crest- another Phoenix if she wasn't mistaken -and ran a nail across it. The crimson wax cracked and soon she was digging into the envelope itself, pulling expensive parchment from its folds. With it, several rectangular stubs fell to the floor. Hitomi was on them in a flash, more than eager to partake in the latest happenings with Akane's Ranma. The dark blue haired girl had barely even began to unfold the parchment when a sharp breath caught her attention. Her roommate was blinking rapidly, counting the stubs numbering four.

"Um, Akane…" Hitomi shook her head as if the paper in her hands didn't actually exist. "These are first class plane tickets to _China..."_

* * *

Kiima was sound asleep when the first spike of power tore through her brain and quickly reduced her innards to molten plasma. Her body arched out of the chair she had been slumped asleep in quite involuntarily. The burst of flame lasted a moment before settling into a warm glow that once again allowed her to regain control of her bodily functions. From the intensely violent reaction, an outsider might have thought that the Phoenix Captain had just undergone an excruciating ordeal. What else other than mind numbing pain would wake a being from the dead of sleep, fill them with incandeseant white heat and leave them panting in a slump?

Of course, they'd be absolutely wrong.

The world came back into focus for the Phoenix Captain and a quick check of the incubation chamber reveal the Ranma's egg unmolested, but her personally guards Koruma and Masara sprawled across the ground in the same condition. Little Saffron was also wide awake from his position beside the egg, staring at her in wonder but little worse for the wear. For the first time in months she not only felt alive, but alive and powerful, and she instinctively knew that the same thing had happened to every citizen of Phoenix Mountain.

The crystal had been cut out of the loop and the circuit was complete.

The Captain smiled, finally regaining her composure while her guard found their own feet once more. All eyes were now on the egg, which, if scrutinized close enough, was seen to rock. Saffron's own eyes widened as the egg rocked against him, prompting him to take a step back.

"Kiima-chan, is Ranma going to-?"

"Any minute now." She nodded and watched as the egg now began to rock in earnest. Elders and citizens alike began to filter into the chamber to watch the spectacle as the faded golden splotched egg drew their attention like a magnet, seemingly girating to an unseen beat. After another ten minutes of vibrations, it suddenly stilled. It was a moment of slight panic for Kiima, kept in check only by the fact that liquied heat continued to flow into her soul unchecked. That warm blanket reassured her that the girl therein was not only still alive, but thriving. The stillness of the egg seemed to be transmitted throughout the very crowd that watched over it, until-

_CRAaaCK!_

A massive fissure ripped along the top of the mottled golden orb, accompanied by a violent jet of escaping steam. The plum soon subsided as the eggs internal pressure equalized, but was quickly followed by another jarring crack. A large shard fell away soon the be followed by others as the violence inside continued to escalate. Fissures that had begin to invisibly creep across the circumference of the egg widened into visibility, flaking away until the breach was finally wide enough to allow two, mucus laden wings to rise from their stricken cradle. They rose to their full extension and more pieces of the egg parted from their host, allowing a wet, resin coated form to follow them. Streamers of the slime seemed to flow from what was obviously an entirely nude Phoenix female, her formerly bright orange on red tresses dampened by the egg's moist innards. A taloned hand wiped more mucus away from her eyes and face, allowing slitted blue eyes to show with bright intensity, though utterly devoid of intelligence.

A thin smile crept across Kiima's lips, and she motioned her Lord Saffron away from the rapidly disintegrating egg. A new Greater had come into the world and there was tradition to be dispensed with, not to mention biology. Ranma Saotome, Greater Phoenix of the Phoenix People would, after all, be starved after the accelerated metamorphosis she had endured within the egg ,and it was her duty to sate that need. With that final thought, Captain Kiima turned back over her shoulder to the waiting attenedants.

"Bring in the herd beasts."

* * *

"Can we come in?"

Ranma Saotome threw a heated glare at the door that muffled voiced sounded through and ground her teeth together. Had anybody actually been in the room with her, they would have seen anything but the confident martial artist of yesterday. Instead there was a fiery maned girl, huddled on the bed with her knees pulled tight against her chest and newly aquired wings quivering. The dragon whisker had not survived the transformation, allowing her tresses to float about her shoulders freely, framing her tear strewn face.

She had been ignoring those on the other side of the door for more than a few hours now.

"Go away."

It was actually the best she could manage… Under the circumstance. The egg had done weird things to her head. Messed with the wiring, she was sure of that. But she could deal. Give her a bit of breathing room and she could deal. She had dealt with being transformed into a curvy girl and she could deal with being transformed into a curvy girl with wings, claws, and… And a perchance for live meat.

No, she couldn't deal with that last part. Not so soon.

"We're very, _very_ sorry for not informing you, Mistress." Then, as an after thought, "There just wasn't any time."

Kiima's voice. But very sorry wasn't cutting it at the moment. Once moment she had been floating through some weird ass dreamscape that was playing all kinds of merry hell with her psyche and the next she awoke, covered from head to toe in blood with the carcass of dead animals around her.

They may have been cows, judging by what was left of their bone structure.

They were definitely still warm.

So was the piece of flesh resting between her talons. And the salty iron taste in her mouth. But that almost wasn't the worst part of it. No,_ that_ was beat out by the fact that there was still one cow nearby that had somehow remained untouched. And she wanted it. _So very, very badly_. Bloodlust screamed through her brain and the desire to rend its living flesh from its body was so strong that she found herself uncoiling from her last… kill and moving to this new, unspoiled one.

It was only her years of martial arts discipline that kept that talon from flashing out to remove its very life from her presence.

"And stop callin' me Mistress!"

But that was merely an annoyance. If anything, she was making that particular point out to be a bigger deal than what it was, if only because it was easier to think about than the damn cows. Once they had coaxed her from the blood soaked hatching grounds, Kiima's entire attitude toward her had changed. It was no longer the 'grudging ally' shtick. It was that full blown 'take me to your leader' reverence, and Ranma was only now getting the idea just who that leader was. She was, after all, feeding the life forces of thousands upon thousands of people now. And if she concentrated, she could feel every damn one of them. Not that she wanted to at the moment. That, she blocked out… along with the cows.

She _still _wanted that last one.

Talons dug into the soft down bed she was huddled upon, parting the sheets like they were nothing more than warm butter. Her only consolation in this epically screwed up buisiness was the fact that she had, in the end, won just like she said she would. But even now, Ranma was pondering just how high the price of that victory actually was.

_Marginally cheaper than dealin' with the Amazons, no doubt_, a voice at the back of her brain resonated, one she whole heartedly agreed with. Still, she wasn't human any more. Not by a long shot. A girl curse was one thing, but to not even be human? Was this how Taro felt? What the _hell_ was she thinking?

No way, Ranma snorted mentally. Taro was in for the nickel and dime power ups. Sure, they all combined to create one freaky combination, but they were pretty ordinary creatures when considered individually. Even the damn yeti. Her? She'd skipped all those pissant springs and gone for the big prize, voluntarily blowing her humanity in one big wad.

**Crapspace Notes **- _I thought it over, kicked it around with a few people and decided that I had angled the plot in a direction entirely away from the point of an -ification fic, which is to say, a match without artificial additives or preservatives. Among some of the highlights to this craptasitc plot were Ranma-chan and her eggs, mating flights and a decent helping of Phoenix chan hormones to get us past the initial discontinuity of a Saffron+Ranma matchup. That, and its even hard for me to see the plausibility of such a match up, even though I was building Ranma's honor in as a heavy component toward that end. Unfortunately, the end result is this fic is dead. See the addition of the part 2 snippet for the last of it._


	31. Plan B

**Plan B**  
Prologue  
_By Ozzallos _

"**I**'ve always envied the love you share…"

Blood burbled up from the mouth of the woman at Sailor moon's feet; the result of a myriad of internal injuries sustained at the hands of the blonde towering over her. She managed to brush a long lock of luscious red hair from her eyes, not bothering to wipe the crimson fluid from her mouth. It didn't matter.

She'd be dead in minutes, anyway.

Queen Beryl stared up at the daughter of Serenity with a mixture of disgust and admiration, marveling at just how badly she had underestimated her opponent. For all the girls' naivety, she was her mother's daughter and had the all the power needed to back up her crusade of love and justice… even if it would lead to the death of billions. The thought fueled her resentment for the princess, but its edge was lost, partly due to the fact that she was dying. Her Master's control was fading with her life, and with it, the all consuming hate. Oh, Beryl still hated the blond for the events her and her own would one day precipitate, but it was the hate for it's own sake was fading. And her power. No need to fuel the body of a soon to be corpse, right Metallia? Beryl thought bitterly. Now there was only regret left to fill the void. Regret that she had failed to stop the spawn of Serenity.

The world began to grey out as blood loss and organ damage took its toll, causing the red head to sink further. Death was coming, and even as it claimed the evil queen, one through burned through her despair. Death would not stay her purpose. She had failed here, but for Beryl, death was only the beginning.

There was always Plan B.

* * *

_October 15th, 1969. Nineteen years ago._

A pair of chocolate brown eyes peeked out from around the corner of the local market, her scarlet curls of hair shifting with intensity as the sunlight refracted through their layers. Nodoka Toki stroked the ever present practice blade at her side as she stalked her prey with nervous intensity, her blue and white school uniforme fluttering with the breeze as if keyed to her nervousness. The prey in question was currently across the street, laughing over some obscure topic with his best friend.

That was half the problem in and of itself.

Oh, sure, it didn't help that the man of her dreams was absolutely gorgeous, hunky and a superb martial artist to boot. That alone made him nigh unapproachable, as his very presence sent goose bumps across her skin and shivers down her spine. Nor didn't it help that martial arts was his all consuming passion to the exclusion of all else, including girls in general. But his friend… Even if she managed to get by her own romantic jitters, Mr. Dreamy's imposing stature _and_ his life focus, there was his best friend, who never seemed to leave his side. One hunky martial artist was more than enough to make her task nearly impossible, but the presence of _two_ while asking the first out?

Panic began to grip Nodoka and her breathing quickened. She could do this, she could do this… Genma was a manly man. A man's man. Handsome, strong, a martial artist… _and single_. He could be hers… All she had to do was take a step… Step over to the pair… Unfortunately, there was another portion of her mind that refused to disengage her hand from the brick wall she hid behind or move her feet in the desired direction. She stood immobile, nearly shaking for another precious few moments before the opportunity passed and both young men continued down the street, laughing.

Another missed opportunity.

It took a good minute for the labored breathing to subside, and once it did, she simply slumped into the wall, spent. The redheaded kendo practitioner took one last look down the street and sighed wearily. At least that went better than last time. Last time she nearly fainted from hyper ventilation. There was always next time, she thought, then frowned. Who was she kidding? She had been doing this for nearly six months straight. She knew him and his schedule like the back of her hand in that she followed him around so much, and somehow, he had not only failed to notice her, she had failed to work up the nerve to ask him out. The situation was becoming quite intolerable!

The uniformed schoolgirl shook her head and turned to leave in the opposite direction, immediately finding herself face to face with a taller woman with pale skin and a mane of flowing red hair. Nodoka blinked, lerching backwards as to avoid running into the woman who had invaded her personal place so thoroughly. The woman in the deep blue dress smiled slightly and took her hand, keeping the school girl from loosing her balance.

"And how are you today, Miss Toki?"

Nodoka blinked, as she pulled her hand away from the unexpected contact. How did she know…? The question forced more observations, and the Toki in question noted that while the girl- no, woman –herself may have looked somewhat Japanese, the liberal cut of her dress was quite foreign and very our of place on the warm summer's day. More telling was her hair. It's flowing red tress nearly matched her own, and Nodoka knew the odds of finding another such genetic anomaly in a society predominated by black hair was next to nothing. The fact that they matched the woman's eyes only fueled her curiosity to nearly insatiable levels.

"Who…are you?"

The redhead opposite of her smiled a bit more. Her sharp features ensured it looks positively impish in nature. "Think of me… as a friend."

Nodoka Toki cocked her head, unspoken questions practically radiating from her. "A friend?"

The woman nodded. "A friend who can help you with your problem."

"But I don't have…" The kendoist's words trailed off as she watched a knowing smile crawl across the older woman's face.

"Your boy problems." Nodoka's face instantly took on a pink hue and the woman's impish grin reasserted itself with a vengeance. "No, no problems at all I see."

Nodoka's breath quickened once more as the words conjured up mental images of Genma Saotome, not all of them decent and most of him in one compromising position or another with her. "I… but… how…?"

The redhead looked upon the younger girl with an almost pitiful expression. "I know all about your romantic pursuit, child." The girl was left speechless. How in the world could this woman whom she had never met know what was on her mind and her heart! How could she…! "…and as mentioned, can help."

"…h-how?"

"I have the means to make him yours."

The younger redhead's eyes widened and caught a breath. _Genma… Hers?_ The suggestion was ludicrous, of course, but that minor detail rocketed straight past her common sense. "You can…?"

"I can." The taller woman stated certainly, then continued with a narrowed gaze. "But you must do something for me, of course." Nodoka's brain had short circuited over the prospect and she found her head nodding wildly in spite of itself. The woman smiled, and had the school girl been more aware, she might have noted the malicious turn in her lips as she pulled the a locket from the folds of her dress.

"Of course!" Nodoka blurted, heedless of the troubled waters she was sailing into.

The older redhead took her hand and pooled the silver locket into her palm. "But we'll talk about that _later_. Simply wear this necklace in the presence of the one you covet and he will bend to your desires. Now go."

Another round of enthusiastic nodding and the woman was gone after the object of her pining, leaving a smiling red eyed, red haired woman in her wake, one who promptly wavered out of existence.

* * *

Prologue notes  
**Timeline;** _Present day 1989. Nodoka, age 37. Meets Genma 1969, age 18. Ranma born, 1971, age 20. All timelines are in keeping with Ranma ½ manga publishing dates, plus or minus as per my interpretation. Sailor Moon and Ranma timelines are happening in parallel._

**Nodoka Toki;** _Maiden name pre-Saotome marriage. Toki is a famous Samurai clan for those curious as to the origin. Yes, irony._

**Plot;** _The polar opposite of Heir to the Empire. Enjoy_ -evil grin-

* * *

.01

* * *

"**T**ake me seriously, jerk!"

Akane Tendo's gi shifted across her body as her arm reached full extension, its fist tagging at the air where Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts used to be. Instead, he was leaning just inches out of reach with a patronizing smile plastered across his face. That smile had been there for the last ten minutes, and Akane had yet to remove it in the violent manner she was hoping for.

"Come on, Akane," Ranma replied as he stepped easily around another hasty combination thrown in by the youngest Tendo. "You know I don't hit girls."

Akane stopped suddenly, fully enveloped in rage. "Don't hit _girls?_ You hit Kiima!"

Ranma fell out of his sparring form and looked on Akane without a clue. "Yeah, so?"

Akane gaped, and the rage retook her. "SO SHE'S A GIRL!"

"Nah, Kiima's a Phoenix person." The martial artist waved the fact aside. "'Cides, she was trying to kill us."

The Tendo's knuckles whitened as she balled her fists. Ranma logical disconnect only fueled her anger to its fullest measure. "So am I going to have to kill you just to take me seriously?"

Ranma simply stared at the girl. They had been through this too many times. It had never been the fact that Akane couldn't take the hits. It wasn't even about the fact that she was a "girl" and therefore inherently weak. The martial artist scoffed at the notion, as his own curse had pretty much erased that particular gender bias completely. _He_ was a girl half the time and _she_ was the best, regardless of his father's feelings on the matter. That however didn't aside the fact that women were, by and large, the less physically durable sex and it was his job as a martial artist to be ever-conscious of that fact... Even when dealing with a certain irate off-again, on against fiancée.

Had Ranma actually communicated those thoughts to Akane, she might have been a tad more understanding and half a percentage point less likely to contemplate the pig tailed martial artist's violent demise. This was sadly not the case, however, as the former thoughts were intercepted by his mouth and were translated as:

"As if. You'd have to hit me with those big ol' gorilla hands first."

A red aura immediately snapped into place around the cobalt blue haired girl, her face contorting with fury. She took a menacing step forward and Ranma took one back in turn, eyes widening.

"WHAT… DID…. YOU…. SAY?"

Each word ground out of her mouth as if it had been painfully torn apart and pieced back together in her psyche before falling from her lips in an excruciating manner. From across the courtyard, Nabiki watched with amusement as an intricately cast, honest-to-god _Dwarven warhammer_ slid out from behind her sister's back.

The middle Tendo shook her head. Whatever smooth talking gifts Genma Saotome may have had were definitely _not _been passed onto his son. Or maybe it was one of those life lessons you learned on the road while trading your offspring in as collateral. She shrugged mentally. Ah well. Either way, his loss was her monetary gain. In a few seconds, the martial artist would be airborne and more then likely a wet redhead female shortly thereafter, where upon Nabiki would offer her services in order to help defuse the situation… For a modest fee, of course.

"But… Akane, I mean...! It's just…!" Nabiki smiled as her little sister wound up the hammer, despite Ranma's gibbering. There's the wind-up...

"**RANMA NO BAKA!"**

* * *

**Plan B **by _Ozzallos_  
A Ranma ½ - Sailor Moon crossover  
**Part One**  
-Roll credits to _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_, Greenday-

* * *

1.00

* * *

**WhaaAMM**_! SpaaLooSH!_

**C**old water rushed around the martial artist as he hit the koi pond at high speed, triggering the Jusenkyo curse that would process Ranma Saotome from an heir to an heiress of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū. Tendrils of invisible magic flashed out across the wayward pigtail boy, reorganizing his body at the cellular level as he sank. The entire process took only a moment, and by the time Ranma had stabilized within the turbulent waters, he was now most definitely a she; a cold, wet, irate she.

Had anyone asked her how it felt to be magically transformed from a boy to a girl in that moment, Ranma would have more than likely said it didn't feel like anything and she was a guy, dammit. It would have also been a lie. Two years ago, it had started out as the truth. Indeed, once she had adjusted for the balance after first acquiring the female body, it was all but impossible for the martial artist to retain a total awareness that the curse had, in fact, activated. Time, however, introduced Ranma to that only reinforced themselves with each and every shift. Each change only served to highlight the difference further until the pigtail girl couldn't help but to notice what she had come to know as the _real_ curse leaking through.

There was, of course, the external changes. Beyond the annoyance of becoming a busty redhead that superficially resembled her mother, Ranma's female body lost a fair portion of its physical strength in the process. The transformation wasn't a total loss in her eyes, however, as what she lost in strength was made up for in speed and flexibility. But that wasn't what truly bothered her. No, the changes went deeper.

Much deeper.

Things came faster to her mentally. Her thought process was clearer in that female body. Oh, she wouldn't admit it to another living soul, but it was as if the curse opened a mental intensity switch wide; nor was it was not a coincidence that some of her most complex techniques were acquired while in said form. The Hiryu Shoten Ha training. The Chestnut fist. Her impromptu defeat of the Dragon Prince. Not to mention any number of obscure martial arts training challenges she had been forced to endue in her cursed form. The cursed processed once more on impact, and even as the magic settled, Ranma could tell…

This change was _different_.

_What the hell…?_

The Saotome recovered from the momentary shock of being malleted across the Tendo property, taking stock of the situation. _This really needs to stop_, she noted, stabilizing herself in its shallow depth. Her life was weird enough, and if her curse was going to act up, the last thing she needed was Akane precipitating matters so violently.

_She's way too violent for her own good, _Ranma groused in that split second, suspended in the pool. Her life was chaotic enough without having that violent fiancée taking everything she said out of context.

As if I don't have enough problems with the other fiancées! What, did she think she could just hit me with impunity? I'm getting sick and tired of being the proverbial red headed step child in-line for Akane's beat-down. Hell, I'm the best! I don't need this crap.

_Maybe it was time to teach her a lesson..._

Yeah, if she wants to play martial artist, it's time for some real lessons. I'd be doing her a favor. Somebody that strong and that unskilled really needs to be put in her place. Can't have that sort going around thinking they're everything they aren't. Hell, Akane ain't even close.

_HURT her._

That'll get the point across. Maybe that's where I've gone wrong. Maybe she hasn't suffered enough for the art like I have. She just doesn't take it seriously. Maybe it's time we correct that oversight.

_Make her SUFFER._

Oh, she'll suffer for the art, alright…

Nabiki Tendo watched with an impish smile as Ranma broke the surface of the water, expecting the customary "Whatja do that for?" Of course, the why behind that particular outburst would be as obvious as the day was long to Nabiki. Akane's part-time fiancée had a horrible perchance for sticking his foot in his mouth in a most epic manner. If she didn't know any better, she'd think Ranma had purposely mastered the art like any another weird martial arts technique.

The smile lasted only as long as it took the soaked red to step back out onto the yard's grass with her own smile. It was a _cold _smile, one Nabiki herself had been known to use herself in business dealings… All without the cries of righteous indignation.

Something was off _Very _off with the martial artist.

Akane watched Ranma approach with the smile and began to simmer once again. The malleting had done wonders to relieve her anger, but the last thing she needed was to see her _fiancée _so soon, let alone with that goddamn smirk on her face. Had the anger been less all-consuming, Akane would have noted the martial artist's sharp departure in behavior. Normally Ranma wouldn't have been found anywhere _near_ the girl after the first malleting, let alone come back for seconds. The youngest Tendo hefted the hammer up once more as Ranma closed on her.

"Can't take a hint, can you, baka?"

"So you want me to take you seriously?" The question stalled Akane's towering rage abruptly. She blinked at the Saotome.

"Well of course I do!" She blustered, stepping into an attack stance. What did the sex changing pervert think she had been pushing for over the past two years? "Take me seriously and I'll show you what I can do!"

A dry chuckle spilled from the red head as she stepped into her own loose stance. "Then it's time for your first lesson…_ Pain._"

Akane's eyes widened with the word, spoken in a cold tone she had never heard from Ranma before. It was also her only warning as the redhead slid forward at blinding speeds, forcing Akane to bring up her defenses on pure reflex. The martial artist cut through the hastily assembled guard with ease, flowing into her chest with a knife-like spiral movement. A single palm found the youngest Tendo's stomach… and _exploded_.

_**BOOOooooM!**_

The sound rattled the windows for blocks as the thunder of over-pressure ripped outward, blowing the cobalt blue-haired girl into the ground and sending her skidding across the courtyard wildly. Nabiki's jaw had nearly left its hinges as Akane tumbled to a halt with Ranma frozen in form while a super-cooled vapor spiraling off her arm. _She hit Akane!_ Ranma actually _hit _Akane! The middle Tendo hit a mental roadblock. On one hand, she knew a look at her little black book would reveal that somebody just hit it _big_ in the betting pools. The odds she had given on this particular event actually occurring were absolutely staggering, after all. On the other, her would-be brother in law had just _hit_ her little sister. Oh, sure, she had been asking for it for the longest time; _literally,_ but not like _this_. Nabiki Tendo's eyes were glittering. One way or the other, she'd be extracting a large amount of money from Saotome in the very near future.

Ranma broke from her stance abruptly and advanced on the stunned girl, who was struggling to her feet. "Lesson number two…" The red head paused ten feet from her victim, allowing her to regain her footing. Akane made the mistake of stepping into her next stance. "...a martial artist _suffers_ for their art."

Fear loosed across Akane Tendo's thought process as she stared into that wicked smile and red eyes. It shown with something she had never seen in Ranma before… malice and cruelty. The girl took a step back as she realized what was happening; Ranma _was_ taking her seriously, and for the first time, reality burned her ego away. She was in no way prepared to- _wait… Red eyes?_

The redhead stepped lightly forward and Akane went firmly on the defensive, deflecting Ranma's first casual probes before her fiancé got serious, once again disassembling the youngest Tendo's guard with ease. She flipped around behind Akane and snatching a flailing arm out of the air. Ranma pulled the girl back and locked the joint painful on the edge of hyper extension, eliciting a yelp from the would-be fiancée.

Ranma leaned closer, pressing her ample chest into the Akane's back. Warm breath tickled her ear. "These are the primary tenants of a martial artist, _A-chan_… _Pain_ and _suffering_."

"Ranma, this isn't-! _AAah!"_

Ranma sighed, pulling the arm back further. "I see you haven't learned your lessons yet. A martial artist must be able to endure _pressure_. Tell me, A-chan… how much pressure can _you_ endure?"

"Let go of—_AhhhhhAAiiegh!_" Another prolonged tug at her arm cut Akane's protest off abruptly. Ranma tisked the girl.

"C'mon 'Kane. Thought you were a martial artist." Had Akane actually been facing her tormentor, she would have noted the clearly bored expression on her face. "I think it's time for the third—"

"That's enough, Saotome!"

The tugging stopped and Ranma's red head swiveled onto the source of the objection, which was advancing upon her position. Nabiki stopped cold as red eyes locked on to her. _Oh, crap,_ was the middle Tendo's first thought. _Not more magical bullshit._ It wasn't so much the red eyes that brought her to a halt, but the emotion they radiated. Cold, uncaring cruelty. That may have been Ranma's body, but she sure Ranma wasn't home at the moment. And there was _no way_ she was going to mess with whatever _was_ at home.

"I'll let you know when it's enough, Na…_biki?_" Ranma's speech faltered, and with it, the red eyes. They flickered red a moment longer, then faded out to their natural colors. She stood there for another moment, blinking as if trying to assemble a coherent thought when she suddenly realized what had happened. Her grip snapped open suddenly, and Akane bolted away, whirling around with a fearful expression on her face.

"What—WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING!" She cried out, her bitter rebuke echoing in Ranma's ears.

"That's what I'd like to know, Saotome," Nabiki added with cold indifference, staring a hole into Ranma with her best poker face. In reality, she was on the edge of being terrified. Her hold on Saotome rested on how much she could manipulate and control the martial artist. If that control suddenly ceased to exist, the closest analogy she could think of was loosing a deadly predator among their family. When it came right down to it, Ranma could be and had proven herself quite lethal. Nabiki really didn't like the idea of that leash slipping off in such a dramatic fashion.

Ranma's head snapped from one girl, then to the other without really seeing them. "I… I don't…. we were… sparring…"

"And that move you used with the cold air was sparring?" Nabiki pressed icily, hoping an offensive approach would keep Ranma off balance and control firmly hers.

"I…" Ranma focused on Akane once more, noting her painfully clutched stomach, remembering every moment of the attack. The technique she had used was a variation of the one employed against Saffron. The cold ki in her arm was transferred through her spiraling punch and into Akane's hot ki, the resulting vortex acting something like a shaped charge as the two interacted. Sure, she hadn't fueled it with nearly enough power to achieve the same lethal result, but the fact that she had even used it in the first place… not simply meant to use it- meant to _hurt_ her with it… There was still a part of her rejoicing over the fact even as she considered the implications. It wasn't simply an alien concept; it was very nearly horrific to the martial artist. Akane wasn't anywhere near her skill level, yet she had employed a potentially deadly technique… _out of spite_.

_She deserved it._

The thought burbled up from the depths of its own volition, and Ranma found herself all but agreeing with it until it registered against her mental filter. Sure, she was a violent, impulsive monster that needed put in her place from time to- Ranma's mental process ground to a halt as she focused on the contamination that was weaving itself into her thought process. _What the hell is wrong with me? _She shouldn't be thinking of grinding that pompous little…

The redhead focus back out into the real world, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. There were nothing but friends around her. Friends that didn't deserve to be hurt out of petty spite. Even if Nabiki had- Ranma cut that thought off before it started, easily recognizing the road it would eventually lead down, and Nabiki would be for worse off than Akane if it came down to it.

_Yes. FAR worse._

"I… I'm sorry." Ranma blurted suddenly, edging away from the pair. "Somethin's wrong. Gotta think." With that, the martial artist was gone past Kasumi and into the house. The eldest Tendo stared after her curiously as the remaining sisters gathered around.

"He… He _hit_ me…" Akane mouthed, still unable to believe it herself in spite of the painful throbbing she was clutching at her stomach. Nabiki simply stared into the house where Ranma had retreated up stairs.

1.01

* * *

"_Unable to comply. Timeline not found_."

Setsuna Meiou stopped the absent filing of her fingernails abruptly and stared at the intricately carved double doors known as the Timegates, arching an eyebrow. The ancient device was her sole companion in the black void, and she eyed it dubiously. _Timeline not found?_

"Rescan. 4800EE7XA.889991000-beta, time-space."

The dimly glowing gates seemed to pulse momentarily with a light glow, before settling back to the originally dim visage. "_Unable to comply. Timeline not found_."

A frown crossed the long, green haired woman's face. Timeline 4800EE7XA.889991000-beta was her favorite, after all, representing the last best hope for the survival of all of mankind. Even so, the chances of anything actually having happened to it were quite small, Setsuna thought as she smoothed her fuku out on reflex. She had been shepherding this particular probability along for nearly 14,000 years off and on, tugging at a thread here, pulling at a thread there… sometimes employing a sledgehammer to ensure humanities highest odds of survival against the coming apocalypse.

The Senshi of Time stretched out a white gloved hand and exerted her will on the local reality, summoning the Time Key into existence. The heart-tipped stave wavered into being and fell into the waiting hand. There were some days when she had to give the timeline a severe beating with the sledge hammer to ensure the Crystal Tokyo probability, but she had to play the hand she was dealt.

Sailor Pluto mentally snorted, bringing the staff to bear on the Time gates. Since the fall of the Crystal Millennium, that hand had been damn short of cards. Regardless, she had managed to coax thread 4800EE7XA.889991000-beta up to 98.0299333 percent prevalence, and this particular anomaly was more than likely nothing more than a temporal ripple floating through the gate's shielded matrix as they were wont to do occasionally. Annoying, but hardly threatening to the future of Crystal Tokyo.

Setsuna shrugged. "Gates, display prevalent reality as of eleven-oh-eight-break-five, absolute."

The gate pulsed softly once more, considering her request. "_Display branching substructures?_"

"Yes."

"_Display all variant outcomes?"_ The gate queried in its calm feminine voice.

Setsuna blinked._ Variant outcomes?_ "Yes."

"_Display all truncated timelines?"_

A chill rippled across the Senshi's psyche. It shouldn't be asking this many questions. "Yes."

"_Include paradox events and temporal cascades?"_

Sailor Pluto gripped the staff with ever mounting trepidation. The gates should have processed her request four questions ago and she _really_ didn't want to answer in the affirmative again.

"Yes."

The Timegates pulsed brightly and seemed to ripple as reality distorted around them. Setsuna Meiou stepped back, recognizing the effects of high-bandwidth computations processing within the massive artifact. The bright glow peaked and the sky around Pluto suddenly exploded into a chaotic mass of fractured lines, script and pulsing red warning indicators. Floating through it all was a thread that shown more brightly than the rest, but chose to flicker across the sky along its lesser brethren like lightning. Sailor Pluto's jaw dropped.

There was no way in _hell_ that was timeline 4800EE7XA.889991000-beta.

The Senshi's cheek began to twitch as she stared into the jumbled mass of glowing thread. After taking a moment to collect herself, Setsuna managed a coherent thought. It was a rather simple one. "Gates… Located all timelines with the Crystal Tokyo outcome."

The answer nearly gave her a heart attack.

"_Searching. Outcome not present."_

"No…" Setsuna Meiou, sole survivor of the Silver Millennium whispered hoarsely as the phantom lines danced above and around her, flickering from one path to another in unpredictable chaos.

1.02

* * *

The hastily called meeting at the Cherry Hill shrine caught the Senshi in various states of dress. For the most part, the Inner's had assembled in their school uniforms, while Haruka and Michiru had been found in casual business attire and elegant dress respectively. Regardless of the clothing they had been found in, all eight soldiers of love and justice were now staring at the impassive Setsuna Meiou, clad in her own lavender business suit-skirt combination, who began the meeting without the usual mystery or preamble. Had they thought on the matter further, the fact that the woman hadn't taken the opportunity to sneak in and scare Usagi silly would have been a foreboding portent in and of itself.

"So, do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

The Senshi blinked. There wasn't supposed to be bad news. Chaoswas defeated and the woman before them had all but assured them that it had been the last major enemy before the Great Ice. Sure, that was bad news all by itself, but largely the unavoidable sort.

Makato raised her hand timidly. "Um, the good news?"

The gaze she turned upon the girl made her shiver. "There is no good news."

"But I thought you just said…" Usagi cocked her head without a clue.

"Crystal Tokyo is gone."

Silence reigned for a moment as the statement was absorbed by Pluto's audience before Moon broke it abruptly, followed closely behind by the other Senshi. "Gone? How can it be gone!"

"If I may," Michiru leaned forward with concern in her eyes. "How does Crystal Tokyo simply vanish?"

"And no offense," Ami began, flipping open the compact of the Mercury Computer. "But aren't you supposed to prevent that sort of thing?"

Setsuna's shoulders slumped with a sigh and her emotionless face finally betrayed her. "Under normal circumstances, yes… The Timegates allow me to see and influence a timeline toward a given outcome."

"But…" Haruka inserted, causing Setsuna to involuntarily grind her teeth in frustration, evidence that her normal self control was being hard pressed.

"Assuming that outcome has the possibility to exist in the first place." She continued. "As of now, Crystal Tokyo no longer exists as that outcome."

"_At all?_" Rei blurted, eliciting a nod grim nod from Pluto's Senshi.

"But that would require _every _timeline to be devoid of even the _chance_ that Crystal Tokyo could exist?" Ami asked, clearly intrigued by the dilemma.

"Very good." Setsuna managed the compliment through her own stress. "The timeline has been polarized in favor of either a complete extinction event or an uncertain survival that does not include Crystal Tokyo. It could break any which way at this point."

"But there's the chance that humanity can survive?" Moon stroked one of the long blond streamers of her odango, hoping some good could come of such dire news.

"Oh, that's not the best part." Setsuna shook her head and Minako groaned.

"We're not going to like this, are we?" A grim, humorless smile crept across Setsuna's face. Sailor Venus frowned. "Oh, we're _definitely_ going to hate this."

"Beryl features prominently in every damn one of them."

Usagi's eyes bulged as she began to choke on the cracker she had been nursing while the rest of the room erupted into undistilled chaos.

"Beryl? How the hell?"

"She's dead!"

"Didn't Moon bury her?"

"Impossible!"

Setsuna simply nodded at each one of the charges and waited for the room to subside into a simmering malcontent. "No, she didn't survive Moon's final attack, that much I'm sure of. If she had, I would have seen this coming a long time ago and warned you all."

"Then how…?"

"I suspect a reincarnation event." Setsuna replied to the question on everybody's mind. "Such an occurrence would be the only way to circumvent the causality nature of the time stream and thus my observations via the Timegates."

"So what can we expect?" The sudden change in Usagi's tone earned her the Senshi's undivided attention, nor could they help but to note how the mention of her first nemesis seemed to bring out the steel in what was usually a bumbling, clueless schoolgirl.

"I wish I could tell you, your Highness." Setsuna automatically reverted to Usagi's formal title. "As it is, I'm confronted with the formidable task of combing through no less than three hundred thousand, eight hundred and sixty one potential threads, then selecting which holds the highest probability towards a desirable outcome."

"That sounds… time consuming." Ami point out, and Setsuna nodded wearily, rubbing her temples.

"I had nearly 14,000 years to build the last one up." Setsuna sighed. "As it is, every indication I've seen so far points to a decisive event sometime within the next three months."

"So you're basically saying it's a crap shoot." Minako pointed out. Setsuna nodded once more.

"Essentially, yes." She elaborated. "As of the moment, there are simply too many prevalent outcomes and not enough time to sort through them all."

"Then we'll play it by ear." Usagi Tsukino stated with uncharacteristic decisiveness. "We put Beryl down once. We'll do it again if we have to."

1.03

* * *

Ranma Saotome sat alone in silence, burning a steady, if entirely figurative hole into the wall of the guest room she had called home for the last two and a half years. The casual observer might mistake the redhead's steady, unflinching gaze as some new martial arts technique. Maybe a meditative state of sorts. They would have been shocked to learn that there was a war being waged in his mind, a war that would decide the balance of her very soul. She knew she was basically a good person at heart, but somehow, that heart was being corrupted, like a rot spreading outward. Thoughts that she would have never entertained under any circumstance now manifest themselves like shadowy tendrils weaving through her being, and it scared her beyond anything she had previously known.

Those thoughts ran contrary to her martial arts code, and for the first time in her life, she was considering violent reprisal against the most minor of trespasses. Pain. Torture. At one end of the spectrum, the martial artist had been horrified. Akane was the first recipient of the dark malice that was growing inside her, and perhaps the only saving grace in that was that she could take a hit or two. In fact, she could have probably stretched their little game a bit longer. What was a little pain between friends, after all?

That simple thought served to push Ranma's horror to new heights as it demonstrated the polar opposite end of the spectrum. It was the part of her that enjoyed such musings that scared her the most. Prior to her last transformation, that part of her had literally been non-existent. Now the dam was crumbling, like the time she had hit her head sparring. _That_ particular incident had brought her feminine side out in its fullest measure. Could this new change be attributed to the same catalyst? Ranma discarded the hypothesis almost as quickly as it came to mind. No, she was actually aware of the change this time; the malice wrapping itself around her very thoughts like a seductive whisper. She could even see the perilous balance she rested on now. If she gave that darkness even the slightest leeway, it would consume her thoughts with a voracious appetite.

_Knock Knock Knock._

The pigtailed girl's ki strobed outward on reflex in an attempt to ascertain who was disturbing her peace. A frown enveloped her face, as it was the last person she want to deal with. She represented perhaps the most dangerous threat to her stability at the moment; one she really wasn't looking forward to confronting at the moment.

"Go away, Nabs."

The door clicked open in response and Ranma's frown deepened. Still, she held her gaze on the wall, almost afraid to look at the Tendo and the shark-like smile her face undoubtedly held. "You owe me, Saotome."

The redhead's cheek twitched, but otherwise managed to keep her breathing calm and steady. "So put it on my tab like ya always do."

Nabiki ignored the redhead, stepping fully into the guestroom in order to assert total control of the situation. She fingered the glass of warm water in hand as she considered the girl sitting cross-legged before her. "Oh, I don't think your tab is that big, Ranma."

"So what else is new?"

Nabiki managed to keep the scowl off her face and took the question in her standard arrogant tone. "Today you lost me lots of money, Saotome. Not only did you lose me lots of money, but you lost me lots of money by hitting my baby sister."

Ranma's breathing began to quicken as her brain began to contemplate alternate outcomes to her conversation with the Tendo; _violent_ outcomes. The bitch had no right to try and squeeze her for money, especially not when she could literally squeeze the life out of—The redhead caught her breath suddenly. "Said I'd owe ya." She whispered, her heart pounding in her ears. "You don't wanna be here right now."

"Please, Ranma-_kun_." Nabiki retorted with an edge of sarcasm. "With as much money as you owe me right now, I _really_ want to be here. Maybe we can work in a trade as well."

"Nabiki, don't…"

"Nothing a few hours in front of a camera won't fix, I suppose." Nabiki mused with a cold grin. "I happen to have a few bikinis that—"

Ranma rose from her position slowly and gracefully, turning her gaze on the middle Tendo. Red eyes stopped her business transaction cold. Nabiki watched a small, evil smile form on Ranma's lips, causing icy dread to grip her. "I think we can arrange something, Nabs." Nabiki took a step back. "A pint of blood? Maybe a pound of flesh?"

_Oh shit._ Nabiki's brain raced as she watched her handle on the situation crumble completely. She had been banking on the fact that Ranma would be sufficiently mortified after hitting Akane that she would be pliable to her demands. Now… now it was time for plan 'b'. Nabiki Tendo gripped the warm glass of water in her hand and tossed it at her future brother in-law in hopes to break the malice with a curse transformation, only to have her retinas liquefied as the red-head's battle aura flared suddenly. The Ice queen scrubbed her vision clear of the giant white spot dancing therein, only to find the impossible—Ranma Saotome, still a girl with a cloud of frost wafting around her.

"Oh shi—URK!"

A single arm shot out and Nabiki suddenly found Ranma's iron grip around her neck, lifting her skyward as if she were nothing more than a rag doll. The middle fought to suck in a breath as the redhead smiled wickedly up at her.

"Do you realize how long I've been waiting to do this? It's time for your lesson, _Tendo_." Nabiki began to wheeze desperately, ineffectually hitting the martial artist who could take the blows from a dragon prince. Ranma cocked her head as if trying to decipher a foreign language. "What's that lesson, you ask?" She pulled the girl in closer with no effort at all, her feet still failing to touch the ground. "Extortion, blackmail and intimidation only work when your mark gives a damn."

Light began to fade from the Tendo's eyes and her struggling slackened as oxygen deprivation took its toll. Her struggling weakened as Ranma continued in an almost merry fashion. "After all… How smart could you possibly be by screwing with a person who can destroy half a mountain and a wannabe god?"

"Ra- Ranma… please?" The grip slackened enough allow a desperate gasping breath as the psychotic girl's head turned smoothly to the door, finding the eldest Tendo trembling with an uncertain, panicked look on her face. Red eyes locked onto hers and she took a step back in reflex, but managed not to flee in terror at the scene she had stumbled across. "I… I…" The sister stuttered as the eyes studied her as if she were a bug. Lacking the immediate words to extricate Nabiki from her potentially lethal predicament, she ducked into a low, _low_ bow. "Please! Please don't hurt her, Ranma-sama! She only means well… My sister can get carried away at times, but please!"

The arm remained a rigid vice, pinning the girl to the wall despite its owners diminutive stature, but the redhead remained impassive, staring down at Kasumi. Ranma held her gaze on the bowed, trembling woman another moment longer before turning back to Nabiki. The middle Tendo watched in muted horror as Ranma's red eyes sparkled with amusement, her lips cracking a sardonic smile. "At least one of you knows your place around here. Play games with me again and not even your sister will save you."

With that proclamation, Ranma's hand snapped open and Nabiki instantly fell, her knees instantly giving way as gravity connected her back to wooden guestroom floor. She didn't bother to get up. Her legs were dead weight at the moment and all she could do was stare up in frozen horror as the redhead stared down, clearly amused. And what would she do if they did work? Run? An icy dread flowed down her spine, but she resisted the urge to shiver in deference to survival instinct. No, the point had been driven home with absolute, uncompromising clarity. If the redheaded bitch gloating above her decided her life was forfeit, _no _amount of running would stop that event from coming to pass.

"Hmmf." Ranma snorted with contempt and turned back to the door. "I think it's time… it's time… grrrrrrr…"

The feral growl only caused Kasumi's trembling to increase and push her subservient bow lower while Nabiki gaped silently from her crumpled position as Ranma's hand floated to the side of her head, her fingers digging into its red tuft. The growl grew more tenuous until the sound was ground into distinct syllables. "This… ain't_… right!"_

Ranma's own legs buckled down to Nabiki's level as her left hand continued to dig into her skull while the right hand formed a fist, auguring into the floor. Wood splintered under the impact and the girl pulled her forearm out of the hole, only to plunge it in again. Nabiki flinched with the strike, pulling herself even tighter into her protective ball. Kasumi continued to tremble from her subservient bow, refusing to make eye contact with anything but the floor. Wood buckled a third time and this time remained rooted to the unnatural hole the martial artist had dug. Sweat glistened off her brow and the labored breathing she had produced began to ease. It was still another minute before Ranma could safely take her eyes off her target to check on those around her. Nabiki huddled against the wall, Kasumi frozen in terror.

She began to feel sick to her stomach.

"I… I gotta go…" Ranma hastened, drawing back up to her height. "Something isn't right…"

Nabiki simply stared at the pensive blue eyed girl trying to form a coherent thought, concern flashing between herself and her sister. _The real Ranma_, Nabiki thought in between the flashes of terror. Real or not, there was no way she was moving from her position until the Saotome was _gone_.

As if divining her very thoughts, the redhead moved to the open window and disappeared out into open air, leaving two absolutely terrified Tendo sisters in her wake.

1.04

* * *

The Neko Han Ten.

It had been a long walk, and Ranma Saotome breathed a silent sigh of relief as the familiar lines of its store front came into view. The entire walk there had been a battle… No_, a war_ as she fought to screen the destructive impulses that seemed to assail her on a whim.. Like that street vendor leering at her. He was first in line to have his neck snapped if she gave into for even a moment. And it would be such an effortless act too. All she would have to do was skip over with a syrupy smile on her face, lure him in for a kiss on the cheek and twist his head forty five degrees to the right.

Ranma smiled. She was sure that it would produce a satisfying crack.

The redhead basked in the warm glow the thought produced before the smile withered and died. She had just planed the murder of some helpless shmoe for little more than the trespass of staring at her. Not that she could blame him. What man wouldn't want to spend a tumultuous night of passion with her? The smile returned. Regardless, it was the principle of the matter. He wasn't that good looking, at least not good enough looking to leer at her and let—

"DAMMIT!" Ranma's fist went into the nearest wall, putting a sufficiently damaging indentation into it. The fact that it was brick went completely unnoticed, as did the fact that pedestrian traffic was now making a wide berth around the petite redhead.

_What in the hell is wrong with me!_ She screamed mentally, trying to get a handle on the rogue thoughts that seemed to be invading her brain at random. It just didn't add up. She hadn't been exposed to any new curses, poisoned, drugged or the like. It was just another day in the life of Ranma Saotome. Sure, that day was unusual according to the standards of the average person, but she had already contemplated the painful demise of half a dozen people on her way to the Chinese food establishment. She had unleashed a Moko Takabisha on a stray dog that had crossed her path… And felt _good _about it. _God, I'm turning into a sadistic bastard…_

Which was why she was now standing in front of the restaurant known as the Neko Han Ten. Cologne wasn't her first choice when it came to helping her nail whatever it was afflicting her psyche at the moment, but her first choice had moved out of Nerima without a forwarding address. While she trusted Tofu a hell of a lot more than she did Cologne, the old ghoul came with references. Ranma didn't know what she had floating around in her head, but she did know she was ass deep in mystical bullshit and that was right up the Elder's alley.

_And if she tries to marry me off to that Amazon whore, I'll snap the purple bimbo's neck as well._

Ranma blinked as her hand pulled on the front door handle. _Yeah, right_, the saner portion of her brain countered. That was the other reason she was seeing Cologne. The old bag could handle her if she lost control. There weren't many people in the area that could take her out if necessary, but much as she hated to admit it, Cologne was one of them.

The crowd was sparse, Ranma noted as she stepped into the moderately air conditioned space of the café. She knew from experience that would change in another hour or so as the dinner rush descended upon one the most popular restaurants in lower Nerima. _God knows I've waitressed this place enough to know that first hand…_ Shampoo was servicing a patron at table five, not having noticed her yet, while Mousse had noticed her from behind the counter, a fact evidence by the scowl on his face. The matriarch, however, was nowhere to be—

"Airen!" the lithe Amazon set her platter down on an empty table and eagerly bounced over to the redhead. Ranma's eyes widened as Shampoo took notice of her and advanced on her, all while radiating an enthusiasm that forced her to take a step back.

"Uh, look Shampoo, now ain't the time!" the attempt to wave the Chinese girl off was largely ignored. "I need to talk to the old—oof!"

The hands she had been attempting to wave the Amazon off with came into contact with silk encased breast as the girl pressed herself into Ranma. The fact that she was wasn't wearing a bra became largely irrelevant as she applied her entire body to the effort. "Shampoo too too happy to see Airen! Now go on a date!"

"Get off! I only came to-!"

Shampoo leaned in, breathing into the girl's ear while her ample bosom pressed into Ranma's own. "Maybe take Shampoo to back room for playtime?"

Internally, Xiam Pu wasn't really expecting an answer. It was part of the game, after all. Likewise she wasn't expecting the object of her affection to suddenly relax into her embrace.

The kiss came as a complete shock.

Shampoo's eyes widened as Ranma's lips found her and took her with a very passionate kiss. It was everything she had professed to want in the entire two year pursuit of her Airen, yet it was wrong. All wrong.

Passionate embrace? Check.

Tongue? Check

Girl type? Check.

And that was the problem. Ranma had, admittedly, adjusted admirably to the curse in her eyes. You either do so or go insane. But Ranma was still Ranma and the Ranma she knew wouldn't be accepting kisses from her, let alone as a— Ranma pulled away from the kiss and Shampoo was able to glimpse her red eyes for the first time. The accompanying smile was utterly devoid of warmth or compassion.

"Play time's over_, bitch_."

Alarms tore through her Amazon brain and she spun out of the embrace on pure reaction alone. All in all, she fair much better than Akane and manage to break contact decisively before the typhoon Saotome was on her. Fists blurred in at four hundred per second, pressing Shampoo back as they were deflected from her improvised defense. Her own chestnut fist training helped maintain parity through the assault, but failed to intercept the roundhouse kick that came out of nowhere, or the follow up Moko Takabisha that blew through her shattered guard.

The hostilities signaled an end to their meals and the handful of patrons within the dining area scattered.

"_ShampoooOOO!_" Mousse was over the counter in a flash. "Damn you, enemy of-!"

Ranma didn't even bother to take her eyes off Shampoo, instead sighting her left arm blindly and unleashing another bolt of ki as the boy closed to point blank range. Air shrieked, ending with a sickening thud less than a second later. She didn't even bother to admire her handiwork, and instead stepped over the remains of a splintered table. Shampoo had gone through several of them before finally leaving a sizable dent in the wall, where she now fought to regain her balance.

Ranma walked through the wreckage with at an unhurried gait, affecting a feminine sway as she closed on the struggling girl. "Man, and you're Cologne's heir? I just ain't seein' it."

"Stupid demon come out of Airen!" Shampoo spat, wiping a trickle of blood from her lips as resumed a painful attack stance. "If no come out, Shampoo take out!"

"HA!" The redhead shook heartily, clearly amused. "You're welcome to try, but there ain't no demon in here." Ranma tapped on the side of her skull for dramatic affect. "Just little ol' me."

"Demon talk, talk, talk." The Amazon sniffed with contempt. "See how like Shampoo serious!"

The girl blurred in with knife like grace and Ranma sighed as she took the first attack and deflected it into impotence. _Amazon wu-shu_, her brain mentally identified as the kicks and punches came in. Great for speed and pressure point attacks, but against the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū? Ranma yawned as she feigned a step back and out of her Aikido stance, twisting to avoid another strike and stepping into a modified Judo form. A snap kick came and Ranma smiled ferally, grabbing the leg and twisting it to lock the joint. Shampoo spun off balance and was deposited hard into the floor once more.

"Thought you said you were gonna get—" Air whistled off to her left and Ranma's hand came up on reflex, snagging a kunai out of midair inches from her skull. Red eyes studied it curiously as what looked to be a holy ward tied to it burnt down. She cast a glance towards its owner, who was in his own attack stance, pushing a pair of coke bottle rimmed glasses up his nose. "Stale, Mousse. Really, really—"

_**BOOOoooOOM!**_

Flames hit the symbol inscribed on the seal's face and detonated, engulfing the pig tailed martial artist in a sheet of flame that Shampoo barely managed to role out of in time. The fireball engulfed nearly a quarter of the Neko Han Ten, annihilating anything at ground zero and setting off the establishment's sprinkler system. The unnatural shower quickly brought the angry flames under control, not revealing the burning remains of a martial artist or her unconscious body, but rather a smoldering silk shirt.

Shampoo's head whipped around, searching for the Saotome in vain before barking a sharp order in mandarin. Mousse slid another five tagged kunai out of his sleeves, fanning them between his fingers as he too warily watched for the redhead.

"_Time to die, duck boy." _

The low whisper came from behind as Ranma dropped her Umi Sen Ken cloak and poised for a high powered strike to the base of his skull. Shampoo couldn't assist without hitting her childhood friend, and her surprise had been total. The outcome could be nothing less than fatal. "Nighy, nigh—"

Poke.

Ranma's eyes widened as a sharp pressure punched her left shoulder. Suddenly, her limbs deadened and the world began to darken. She had never even gotten a chance to turn around. _Goddamn pressure point…_

"Thanks, old ghoul."

With those words, Ranma fell over unconscious.

1.05

* * *

The first General of the Queens Protectorate watched as a healthy cloud of steam rolled up and away from the small glass held within his hand. The amber liquid contained there in could have easily been mistaken for some form of alcohol on sight alone, but the scent that drifted up and to his nose told him otherwise. A thin blond eyebrow arched skeptically as he considered the liquid and the host who had provided it.

"Lantia, of course." The blond general smiled, earning the slightest hint of acknowledgment from the woman across from him, and continued. "From the fields of Olympus, and well aged without a doubt."

"You have yet to disappoint me, Stenis." Queen Beryl smiled warmly, taking a sip of her own tea. "But now, can you maintain your much vaunted reputation?"

General Stenis Alanvaad affected a put out mask for a moment before a wry grin returned. "It pains me to know that you doubt my mastery of fine teas, but I shall press onward regardless." The red haired queen snorted with amusement as his face lapsed into intense concentration for her benefit, and took another sip. "Hmmm… I'd have to say… fifteen hundred, third harvest. It was a slightly breezy day."

Beryl's amusement turned into burbling mirth. "A slightly breezy day, was it?"

The blond nodded with stoic seriousness. "Out of the west at six kilometers per hour."

"Indeed." She sighed. "It looks as if I shall be owing Kiu-chan another favor, though I will have her pull the weather archives if she is to collect."

Alanvaad chuckled softly. "Such is your fate. But why you should choose to dispense such a fine vintage for my sake is a mystery."

The Queen put her glass down and began to pick at the leafy greens of her salad. "Is it such a crime to serve a visiting dignitary in accordance to his station?"

"Were I here in an official capacity, possibly." He returned nonchalantly. "But I'm not, so this lunch and the accompanying three hundred and fifty year old brew is quite excessive."

"Really, now?" Beryl brushed back a lock of red air that had seen fit to trespass over her shoulder. "Some might consider that as even more of a reason to do so."

The general stared in to the Queen of Earth's red eyes, weighing the hint that she had just laid at his feet. All in all, they were slightly unnerving to behold, a product of the Earth's royal genetic line. Regardless, they twinkled at him, as if they held the key to a particularly amusing riddle.

"Straight to the point, as always, hmm, your Highness?"

"Now, now, Stenis." Queen Beryl tsked, now openly amused. "Special envoys don't exactly grow on trees, you know?"

"So they don't." the blond general admitted openly before cutting into the smoked beef briquette framed by a medley of vegetables on an ivory plate. "Though I was hoping to enjoy this delicious lunch before getting down to business."

"Ah, so it's _that_ sort of business, is it?" The red head cocked her head, feigning curiosity. The gesture was not lost on her guest, who was all but certain that his unofficial visit held no curiosity for the monarch what-so-ever. Beryl rose from the table with a grace that accompanied her station. "Then let us conduct it in the open air. The last thing I need on my schedule is another stuffy room with yet more politics."

With that comment, she nodded to the servant across the room, who had stood by all but invisibly throughout the meal. The smartly dressed woman in black slacks and coat brought a finger to the bracer on her right wrist, touching a small imbedded crystal. Pure sunlight immediately pierced the room in a blazing shaft as the west fall and ceiling fell away, revealing a beautiful blue sky spackled with puffy white clouds.

A light breeze was carried along by the wind, wrapping around the Queen's long red tresses and sending ripples along the formal cut of her purple body wrap. "Ah, much better." Once again she turned to her servant. "We'll need some time alone."

General Stenis Alanvaad watched the servant depart with the same discretion she had waited on them with, then turned to find Beryl walking along the newly opened up balcony that overlooked Earth's capital city. He pushed his own dish aside and stood to join her, admiring the view as he walked. The architecture was certainly a far cry from the crystal spires of Luna Rey. The skyline had a chaotic feel to it, and even the sky scrappers were built to unlikely configurations and angles. Entire sections of the city were swathed in a riot of color and diversity, belying the order that had been built into its host society. Only kilometers beyond the city core were the beaches, where the waves of the ocean lapped at the shores of Atlantis.

It was a scene he didn't wish to spoil, but he knew the Queen already had some privy to his visit… That, and the monarch of the Earth was a direct woman. Might as well air the dirty laundry while she was in a receptive mood.

"The Queen is concerned, your Majesty." The general began without taking his eyes from the skyline below. "Her Imminence has been getting reports from Royal Intelligence that Terra is lapsing into a state of… unrest."

"Unrest?" Beryl turned toward the blond now, arching a red eyebrow. She gestured to the city beyond. "As you can see, there is no unrest here."

Alanvaad grunted an affirmative. "While I agree that the visible signs are lacking, we have strong evidence of an underground movement. _Several_ underground movements, as a matter of fact. Queen Serenity was surprised that you hadn't taken steps to mitigate their influence already."

A look of consternation enveloped the monarchs face. "Had I known…" she stared out into the city, as if trying to pick out the rogue elements of her society by eyesight alone. "Regardless, Terra takes its responsibility very seriously. The neck of the empire should not loath the head, and vice versa."

The blond nodded. "The Queen shall be gratified to her your assurance. However, are you sure Terra's intelligence has nothing? Could it be so deeply subverted?"

"I would like to think not." Beryl shook her head. "Most of the staff was hand picked by myself or officers I trust implicitly. Still, Serenity-chan voices a concern; it is my duty to investigate the matter."

General Alanvaad allowed himself a slight smile. The meeting had gone better than expected. There had been unsubstantiated rumors that Beryl herself was involved in the activity, but the level of concern she was displaying… "The Moon will lend you any assistance you may require. We know as well as anyone that internal probes can be… _messy _endeavors."

"Of course." Beryl returned, as if the offer was a given from the outset. "I don't suppose Prince Endymion could lend his personal assistance to the matter?

"Unfortunately, no." Alanvaad replied smoothly. Smoothly, because there were other rumors… Rumors that the Queen of Earth had a thing for his superior and future king of the Moon Kingdom. They were, however, simply that: Rumors, and the manner in which she had broached the Princes name made it nothing more than that. "He is currently on a diplomatic mission to Nexia for the next two months."

"A pity." The redhead replied in a seemingly bored tone. "It looks like I will have to start with you then."

"With me?" The general turned, instantly locking on to the pair of red eyes that were her genetic heritage. They were glowing. "Queen—"

Beryl struck like a snake, her hand shoot out to grasp that man's face while a sickly dark aura formed around her. His first instinct was to move, but found himself frozen—_trapped _by the glowing red eyes that pulsed with power. A cruel smile began to form along her lips.

_Why can't I move? I should be able to over power her easily! _

"Because you're my puppet, General." The blond's eyes widened as the woman seemed to read his mind. The boiling darkness around her snaked up the woman's arm, into her hands and through the digits of her fingers, where it met his skin.

"AAARRRGGG!"

The Queen of Earth shook her head. "Screaming will do you no good, Stenis. Just open up your mind and it will all be over shortly."

Another pulse of power flowed through her hands and this time, the man's entire skull glowed, as it were being baked from the inside. His knees buckled and he hit the floor while Beryl maintained her grip. "Why…. Why are you doing—AIIIIEEEGHGGGGHHH!"

"On second thought, scream all you want." The woman shrugged casually. Dark energy continued to feed along her arm into her victim's cranium. "There is nobody here that will help a Servant of the Moon. As to your question… Its long past time to settle up with that bitch on the moon and the whore she calls a daughter."

"Serenity is not—_AAHHHHARRRGHHH!"_

Alanvaad's skull burned brightly for a moment as Beryl forced a spike of unholy power through their connection. The only thing keeping him from dropping to the floor now was her grip on his face, her nails digging into his forehead.

"She's taken him from me, you know?" The Queen continued conversationally as the generally kneeling before her withered in agony. "Not only has she taken the only man I love away from me, she'll destroy my beloved home. I've seen it. A beautiful ball of ice. I'll see that bitch _burn_ for her trespass."

Alanvaad gasped for breath. His lungs felt as if an inferno raged within them. His head… his brain was _boiling_! "You can't… can't…"

"I can." Her red eyes fell upon him once more. "_We_ can."

_We can._

"I… NO!" Power flared, obliterating any thought in a stream of endless pain. "AHHHHHHAAAARRR!"

"We _will _bring the kingdom down, Stenis."

_We will bring the kingdom… Wha? NO! I won't! _

"I won't help—!" Another shriek of agony cut his protest short. The general's skull was all but encased in shadowy power now as light filtered through the briefest breeches in the magical tempest.

Queen Beryl's cold smile simply widened. "You are my loyal servant. My _slave_."

_I am her loyal servant. Her… No… what am I…? I can't…_

"The Moon Kingdom is our enemy."

_The Moon Kingdom is… is our…_

"Obey me without question."

_Obey her without… without… I…_

The red haired queen nodded with satisfaction.

"You are MINE."

"I am yours." A dull voice droned out.

The queen pulled her hand away, clapping like a giddy school girl. The blond swayed momentarily, but remained kneeling. "You live only for my desire."

"I live only for your desire."

Beryl nodded, pleased. "Stand."

The general stood, somewhat mechanically. The spark of life was completely gone from his eyes and soul. The Queens hands found the cloth obi that held her purple wrap in place and tugged up on it lightly. The obi fell to the ground and the body wrap opened like a gift, revealing the Queens pale, nude form.

"Service me… _Jadeite_."

1.06

* * *

Ranma Saotome's eyes snapped open, finding herself lying face up staring at a ceiling. Whose ceiling it belonged to was rather easy to discern as the faces of Shampoo, Mousse and Cologne were well within her peripheral vision. The latter wasn't a particularly pleasant sight to wake up to.

"Are you… _well_, Son in-law?"

The martial artist considered the voice that grated against her ear drums and the meaning behind it. Her body had a few aches and pains but that wasn't the focus of the old ghoul's question. The dream had no doubt been a result of being put out like a light, but it had been so…_Creepy_. That woman was a certifiable psycho.

Ranma's thought process stopped cold.

_Just like somebody she knew_.

"Not by a long shot." The girl admitted while attempting to prop herself up on the table. A quick look around told her she had been moved to the back storage room, the table she was on having been converted to a makeshift bed. Her tiny fingers rubbed her temples, not so much to relieve a headache but for sanities' sake. "If I start ta act weird again, don't hesitate to put me out."

"Indeed." Cologne nodded. "Now perhaps you should explain why I had to tell the fire fighters there had had been a gas leak within my establishment?"

Ranma snorted slightly. "Was that the excuse you used?"

"And a few thousand yen in the right hands." Cologne added, cutting down Ranma's amusement at the source. She cast a glance at Mousse, then back to Ranma. "Would you have killed him?"

The red head stilled suddenly and paled as she remembered the incident in its entirety. Every move, every blow, every _feeling_. Then the memories… What that woman had done to that general guy. That red haired woman. In the first person. "Maybe ya oughta get me some hot water…"

The hoarse whisper told the matriarch everything she needed to know, and nodded toward the myopic duck boy to fetch the water. "Tell me everything."

"I ain't actin' right." Ranma immediately complied with the request as she watched the male Amazon go. _Musta broke his glasses in the fight. He'll be lucky to find his way back_. "Small things are settin' me off. I'm overreactin' to everything."

"As with Shampoo?"

Ranma cast a glance at the purple haired Amazon off to her left, noting she was standing at a wary distance. Whether by orders or of her own volition, the martial artist decided it was better that way, though the two sheathed jian within easy reach of her person were disconcerting.

"And Akane. And Nabiki." She detailed, causing Cologne to consider their martial arts heir skeptically. To attack Shampoo was decidedly outside what she considered proper behavior for the Saotome, but the girl was an Amazon. She could take a hit. Akane was even more surprising, but not too outlandish. The girl got on everybody's nerves sooner or later. As did Nabiki, but that was the real surprise. As bothersome as the middle Tendo was, Cologne knew she was beyond reprisal in terms of Ranma's code. The girl was as intelligent as they came, but there was no way should compete physically. "I used a modified, low powered Hiryu Hyou-Toppa on Akane… to teach her a lesson. And Nabs…"

Cologne's sole focus was entirely upon the young Saotome now. "What _did_ you do to Nabiki Tendo, son in-law?"

Ranma remained silent for a solid minute before whispering. "I… I didn't kill her."

_No, you didn't_, the Amazonian matriarch thought to herself. However, she knew the message was in what Ranma _wasn't_ saying.

"All I know is I got another goddamn curse or somethin'" The red head shook away the feelings of guilt for another time. "It ain't nuthin for me to hurt somebody bad and I need you to fix it."

"Demon with red eyes?" Shampoo inserted for the first time, causing Ranma to cast a queer look in her direction.

"Red eyes?"

"Killing eyes." Shampoo nodded, looking at her grandmother for permission before continuing. "Airen's eyes blue now, red when attacking."

_Something's off…_ The redhead thought, looking from one Amazon to the other for a clue. There was something she was missing, but what… _Goddamn new curse is playing mind games with me_, Ranma grumbled internally. She even had red eyes to go along…

"The chick had red eyes too…"

"Chick?" Cologne questioned, clearly at a loss. "Any clue you can provide us—"

The storage room door creaked open, admitting Mousse. The duck boy cleared the boxes and proffered a glass to Ranma with all the spite he could muster. "Water, Saotome."

"Yeah… Thanks…" She reached for the glass on reflex, only to stop an inch from actually touching it as her voice trailed off. Ranma stared at Mousse. The boy was angry, no surprise there. His look was one of pure resentment, but…

A piece fell into place, and her intellect devoured it greedily.

Ranma took the water and set it aside, instead turning to Cologne. The old woman looked back curiously as she considered her for a moment, then folded her arms. "Say, old ghoul…?" Cologne adopted a bland expression. "How can Mousse see without his glasses?"

The Elder's visage faltered ever so slightly, but it was enough. "I am unsure of what you mean."

The pigtailed girl turned back to Mousse. "And for that matter, where'd those explosive blades come from?"

"I've been saving them for just the right occasion, you enemy—"

"Yeah, sure, right." Ranma blew him off, shaking her head. "Like there ain't been enough of those in the last two years."

"Son in-law, I fail to see how this helps us—" Cologne interrupted, only to be overridden herself.

"Come off it, granny." She was up off the table now, angling for a better position now that her paranoia had been triggered in full. "He tossed that thing with Shamps in the line of fire. And that was pretty decent teamwork there… And you ain't locked him up for it yet. I maybe all screwed up stairs, but I remember everything about it."

A light scraping off to her left attracted her attention and Ranma turned slightly to find Shampoo gathering the pair of swords leaning on the wall next to her. The martial artist frowned. "So that's how it is."

"No, son in-law. There is more to this than you realize." Cologne hopped up to the tip of her cane, balancing upon it easily. Ranma took a step back.

"I'm beginning to think you had somethin' to do with this, Old Ghoul." Ranma cracked her knuckles, ultimately knowing that if it came down to it, things were going to get messy. _And if she did have something to do with it, I'll just have to make sure nobody finds any of their bodies…_

Shampoo muttered something in mandarin, something that Cologne understood and nodded. "You're changing even as we speak, son in-law."

"In fact, I'm beginnin' to think it'd be safer to chop all of you into finely diced pieces." Ranma said, ice leaking into her voice. Blue battle aura began to light the room. "Just think, Nerima without the Amazons… I know it gives _me_ goose bumps."

"Control yourself, Ranma Saotome." Cologne ordered sternly, and the advance of darkness was checked momentarily across the red eyed girl's psyche. _Not son in-law?_ "We are _not_ your enemies."

The battle aura faltered slightly and even Shampoo could see Ranma's eyes fading back and forth between blue and red. "Yeah, then who the hell are ya really?"

Cologne took a deep breath. "We're guardians of the Container."

* * *

**Author's Notes**-  
**W**riter's block was a bitch to get past on this one, namely in how to handle a reincarnated Beryl and her generals. Thankfully, I've finally gotten past that particular point, even mapping out a tentative match up. Maybe. One thing this fic is _not_, since concern has already been expressed on the matter… It's not a vengeance fic. I have no plans for Ranma to complete divorce him/herself from her own canon or likewise kill off the .5 cast. Also, Ranma's personality will not be completely displaced, but you should know me well enough by now. I just don't do that. A lot. Mostly. Maybe.

One thing this fic is, is a onna-Ranma fic. Did I just lose have the reader base there? Again, you should know me well enough by now. All I can promise is that I won't mary-sue the hell out of her in the process.

SM Canon; _It's almost as annoying as Tenchi Muyo to follow. For our purposes, the original generals are dead, as half the time they come back to Tux as slain Jedi Knights anyway._

Stenis Alanvaad; _The first of Beryl's thralls, aka Jadeite. The process was inspired by SG1, using a wrist devices to liquefy an individual's brain. If you don't watch the series, this makes no sense. Suffice to say, it's an excruciating process._

The Silver Millenium; _It's composition isn't something I had to worry much about in Heir, but now that the Terran side features prominently in the plot, I have to give some consideration to how the SM was actually composed. My first thought is it is a power share, The Moon Kingdom as the guardians of the people and the Earth Kingdom as its administration. It would also give Beryl the necessary pull/resources to execute a coup de tat. Effectively, her rank is similar to Serenity. Said rank is almost necessary if one assumes a larger intergalactic scale of demonic subversion._

Mousse vs. Kunai; _No, there is no Naruto crossover here, though the scene does pay homage to it. It also represents trenching for future plot._

Ranma vs. Body Replacement; _Ranma demonstrates this knowledge in Book 35 vs Konatsu._

* * *

**Plan B**  
Chapter 2

_By Ozzallos_

"**S**hift the fifty third armored corps to the left flank." Queen beryl directed to the host of demonic staff around her. Her finger settled on a map tabled before those gathered. "EMP the holo trenches here, here and her and sap the orbital siege batteries."

"Resistance will be substantial in that area, my Queen." One of the demons, this one with red skin rumbled as a sharp talon traced along the same map. "Their wards are firmly entrenched and well defended. Our last intelligence indicates three lances of armor and a substantial number of infantry holding that position."

"What kind of infantry?" A woman to Beryl's right hissed. If she were honest with herself, 'woman' was a rather generous word for the serpant with a human torso, six arms and slitted eyes. A beam of energy scorched across the night sky followed by a violent flash that refracted off her purple scales. Regardless, the youma Aeriseth was her chief of staff, second only to Jadeite within her command structure. Since _he_ was currently engaging the Queens Eighth Fleet on the outer edge of Jupiter, Aeriseth was well within her prerogative to question the composition of Cytherean's defense force.

In fact, she encouraged it. The reptilian female was one of the more intelligent of the massive force she had managed to summon.

"A core of elites reinforced by reservist and quick bake clones." The demon continued, detailing the opposing force. "Sources say, three hundred mounting crystalline battle suits while the remaining fifteen hundred are in standard field plate.."

The serpentine woman nodded before turning back to beryl. "While we need those siege batteries taken out of the equation to land any heavy ordinance on the city itself, the forces holding that district are indeed potent."

The evening wind caressed the length beryl's crimson locks as she contemplated the dilemma. there was little doubt she could direct enough force against the Shinda block to take the anti-orbital batteries through attrition alone, but every demon she could keep alive here was one more she could land on the Moon when the time came. But that fact had to be balanced by the operational time table she was running. Economy here gave the enemy time to recover and regroup elsewhere. She had seen to it that Serenity was fighting fires all throughout the solar system. If her forces should ever get a handle on those fires…

"No. To kill the Queen we must remove her guardians from play." Beryl tapped at the maps grid. "Pull the Fel Reavers back from the east and have them start assaulting the main gates as a diversion. Give them half an hour, then pour everything into Shinda and annihilate those batteries. Suicide runs if you have to. I want them down so we can drop youma directly on the capital."

The collection of ranking demons nodded and began to disperse when Aeriseth hissed, returning attention to their table. "And remember the primary objective. If any should happen upon the Queen of Venus, do not engage her. She is to be our master's thrall like the rest of the generals."

* * *

**Author's Notes**: _And another one bites the dust. Our author's attention span is sadly that of a fly and he has other stuff- including a life -to work on. This would have been Ranma's flashback to lead into the chapter. As before, if you want to continue this, it's all yours._


	32. Cabbit Days

**Cabbit Days**  
By Ozzallos

**Phase 001**

* * *

**Curse:**** 1** a prayer or invocation for harm or injury to come upon one. **2** something that is cursed or accursed **3** evil or misfortune that comes as if in response to imprecation or as retribution **4** a cause of great harm or misfortune.

* * *

_SpaLOOoooSH!_

**T**he Guide shook his head in equal parts horror and morbid fascination as yet another one of his Honored Sirs took the fall. He had told them- _Warned them_ –not to prance about the springs. Several times, in fact. But does anybody ever listen to The Guide? _NOOoooOOoo._ Both Honored Sirs just jumped up over the cursed site like there wasn't a care in the world. Normally, there was an unspoken truth in the portly little guide's line of work—You follow the guide, he leads you around and you have a decent time. The guide knows the lay of the land and it's in your best interest to listen to his advice. Of course, that unspoken truth went right out the window concerning the Honored Sir named Genma Saotome, he noted with a certain dismay. Not that he really felt sorry for large martial artist. Somehow the Spring of Drowned Panda suited the man perfectly. No, the sympathy he felt was directed at his son. Had his fall been three feet to the right, he wouldn't have been so badly off. _That_ would have been the Spring of Drowned Girl, and at least the young sir would have still been human. But the fates weren't smiling upon the martial artist and he fell into _that_ spring…

"Aiyaaa! Not _'Spring of Tiny Drowned Demon!_'" The guide shuddered as he watched a furry mass sputter in the water. "There is tragic legend, _very_ tragic legend of small trouble-making demon who drown in spring seven hundred year ago!"

What hopped out of the spring wasn't the easiest to identify, if only because it lacked a natural home in Earth's ecosystem. It was small, furry and had wide, fluffy ears. One could easily mistake it for a rabbit or even some breed of cat, if not for the large eyes and deep blue gem set in its forehead. The Guide shook off his shock. Not many people fell in that particular spring- if any. It was a small one, which probably explained the matter. After all, it was tough for _anything_ to fall in the two by two foot puddle of water surrounded on all sides by its much larger cursed cousins. The Guided sighed. "Now whatever fall in take body of tiny demon!"

_"MiYAH!"_

* * *

"YO! Cut that OUT!"

Had Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts fallen three feet to the right, those words would have been spoken by a curvy, five foot two redhead that eerily resembled her mother's heritage. Sadly he hadn't, so those words were now being spoken by something that really didn't have any business being found in this star system. A panda fighting a redheaded girl in the streets of downtown Nerima would have been enough to turn anybody's head, but what was fighting the Panda now… Most simply muttered something to themselves and continued walking in deference to their sanity. Those that threw caution to the wind would note that whatever was battling the Panda was _probably_ female and _definitely_ well proportioned. Oh, and furry with sharp ears and a wild mane of red hair marked by a darker streak down the center while the fur itself was a reddish-brown and seemed to shift with intensity in the sunlight. These observations pretty much led to one conclusion—Ranma Saotome was not having a good day. Scratch that; Make it a _year_.

The redhead spun around and nailed the pursuing Panda- her father – with a roundhouse kick that sent him skidding across the street, stunned. She smoothed the red Chinese shirt she now wore and favored the Panda with irritated look. He was actually going to try and fix her up with a fiancée! With his curse in full effect, no less! The idiot! Ranma watched his father-turned-Panda's aura flare and felt the renewed offensive before it even began. The entire situation was just plain _screwed up_, she thought darkly and dodged the Panda's initial assault easily.

The first few months following the incident had been quite traumatic for the pigtailed boy as he suffered from a curse that reminded him entirely too much of a cat. Have you ever seen a small demonic cat-rabbit go into the Neko-ken? It's not a pretty sight. His only consolation in recovering from the incident was the fact that he really wasn't a cat, but that's where his troubles with the Amazons began. Sure, it didn't help that Pop decided to eat their tournament banquet without their permission, but all hell positively broke loose when they saw Ranma in his tiny demon form. The guide mentioned something about 'slaying the ancient demon' and 'razing the village', but most of the details of his translations were lost in the run for their lives. The village literally emptied out and a purple haired Amazon teen led the charge to 'return the evil from whence it came'.

The weeks following were a life and death game of hide n' go seek as half the Amazon nation sought their hides, while the purple-haired girl known as Shampoo rapidly became a common sight throughout their travels. It was this life or death desperation that drove Ranma into accidentally finding his- or her -current form, something resembling a normal sixteen-year-old redheaded human female but never quite succeeding in the task. While the idea of becoming a girl _anything _was repugnant, it did tend to throw off their Amazonian pursuers. It was a fact that surprised Ranma to no end, especially given how- ahem –'exotic' the body appeared. One pursuer refused to be shaken however, and if he never saw her again it would be a damn miracle.

Another panda fist blurred in and she smiled, allowing the fist to phase _through_ her body. The curse wasn't all bad, she admitted silently as she chose the right moment and dropped back into existence to lock the Panda's forearm solidly in place between her own. Whatever the hell her cursed form was, it was _powerful_. One of the fringe benefits was that she could hover and fly in both little demon and demon girl forms. She used that power now, hauling the offending bear ten feet into the air and throwing him into the waiting concrete with a massive thud. The other power was that she could actually pass through solid objects. Likewise, the humanoid body was lightning fast and could easily take punishment that would turn anybody else into a bleeding pulp.

"Hmmf!" Ranma sniffed with contempt at his pandafied father as she floated slightly above him. "I'm going back to China! So suck on _that_, old man!"

She turned her back and touched down, only to have a traffic sign violently applied to the back of her head. Normally this would have had absolutely no effect on the martial arts demonic rabbit cat girl whatsoever, but it still took concentration to maintain that form. It was getting easier day-by-day, but the surprise cuased her concentration to break and Ranma collapsed back into that wretched, yet ever-so-cute little furry demon. Tired out from the day's exertions, the only thing Ranma could do was glare menacingly at his father as he took the cat-rabbit by the scruff of the neck and hauled him off.

* * *

"MiyahMiyahamiayaMihYA!"

The pitiful cry was the first thing that attracted the residents of the Tendo Dojo to the scuffle occurring outside, as the giant panda once again apprehended his son turned tiny demonic critter. Soun and Nabiki Tendo's sprint to the front door turned into a hasty retreat as the visitors thought to be Genma and Ranma Saotome actually turned out to be a giant Panda in possession of a cute rabbit-like creature. The Panda invaded their home, and the furry creature Miyah'd some more. Had the frightened Tendos possessed any sort of universal translator, its plaintive cries would have been interpreted somewhere along the lines of, "Hey! Yo! You're scaring 'em spitless!"

The panda stood before the family and slapped the little creature down in front of the Tendo patriarche, who stared at it curiously. It looked like a cross between a reddish-brown cat-rabbit. The thing stared back, and Soun was at a loss. Kasumi, however, wasn't.

"Oh, it's ADORABLE!" Her hands shot out as fast as any martial artist Ranma had ever seen, and the next thing he knew, he was being smothered in a tight hug that pressed him into her ample bosom. The little demon's brain turned to jelly under the assault, but quickly solidified in desperation. As pleasant as the experience was turning out to be, it was FAR too compromising, especially once they found out… The furry critter struggled to no avail as Kasumi continued to pet and cuddle, and Ranma realized drastic action needed to be taken. He reached down into his tired reserves and forced the transformation. The next thing the eldest Tendo knew, a nude, reddish furred sixteen year old girl with pointy ears was suddenly sitting in her lap.

Both stared at one another for a moment until Ranma realized the nudity part of her predicament. "Eep!" Ranma jumped out of her lap and landed a few feet away, desperately trying to cover the essentials.

"Oh, my…" Kasmui breathed, quite amazed that her cute little pet had turned into an equally cute teenage rabbit-cat girl. "And you are…?"

The teen stared at the ground, avoiding eye contact. "Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."

Soun Tendo gaped. Not only _wasn't _Genma's son a boy, but Genma's _girl_ wasn't even a girl! Nabiki leaned in for a closer look and decide to roll with the obvious. "'He' is a girl and 'She' isn't even human, Daddy." When confronted with the facts, Soun Tendo took the only recourse available to him.

He passed out.

* * *

**Phase ****002**

* * *

**Pervert:** **1 a** to cause to turn aside or away from what is good or true or morally right. **b** to cause to turn aside or away from what is generally done or accepted. **2 a** to divert to a wrong end or purpose. **b** to twist the meaning or sense of ******.**

* * *

**"W**ell he said he had a son!" Soun protested from his impromptu bed, Kasumi having made her father comfortable during his short period of unconsciousness. The mental state of her parent did not concern Nabiki, who was currently quite perturbed at having been denied a cute globetrotting boyfriend.

"Do you see a son here? Hmm? Do you?" Nabiki reached over to the young woman's breast as if to make an object lesson of them, but stopped short, eyeing the furry mound beneath Ranma's red silk shirt. On second thought, probably shouldn't be touching the cat-rabbit girl's equipment, she decided hastily and pulled her hand away.

Akane sat quietly opposite the girl in question and observed the exchange. The new girl looked nice enough… Given, you know, the more unusual aspects of her physiology. Namely, the pointy ears and fur. Maybe I should invite her to spar with me, Akane thought, until another question filtered through her mind. Do transforming cat-rabbit girls even _know_ karate? Only one way to find out…

"Um… Excuse me, but _what_ exactly are you?"

All conversation instantly ceased as the remainder of the household focused on this all-important question that nobody else was willing to ask. The answer they got was quite unexpected.

"I'm a guy, of course!" Even Nabiki blinked at this revelation and gave the creature next to her yet another once-over. Curves. Breasts. Eyes. Lips. Guy? It may have not been human, but it sure as hell wasn't a guy. Ranma saw the disbelief on their faces and decide to take a more active approach. "Can somebody get us some hot water?" Kasumi smiled and left for the kitchen, more than happy to assist the cute girl in her request. She returned minutes later, a kettle of hot water in hand. Ranma turned it over, spilling a portion of its contents over her body, which promptly reversed his curse. Before them now sat a slightly disheveld black-haired teenager. He pulled out a small length of twine and tied his hair back into a small ponytail on reflex before turning his attention to the Tendos, who now stared incredulously at him. Well, except for Kasumi, who maintained her adoring smile. The look she gave him unnerved the boy somewhat as he turned the rest of the pitcher over onto the Panda behind him, revealing Soun Tendo's best friend.

Genma Saotome sat down beside Ranma. "Let me explain it…."

Half an hour and two brawls later, Soun Tendo was pretty sure he had all the facts in place. Totally and completely unbelievable facts to be sure, but the evidence was sitting right in front of him. Cold water activated the curse, hot water reversed it. Genma turned into a panda and Ranma turned into… Well, he still wasn't sure about that part, but whatever he turned into, it was definitely female in its humanoid form. His problem wasn't so bad, actually. Since he was technically still a boy, he was eligible to marry any one of his three daughters. At least it made for an easy decision.

"Pick the one you want. She's your fiancée," The father offered helpfully to the furry girl next to him. Soun's testing of his curse had left _her_ in that state and now she eyed him with some measure of doubt.

Akane was the first to speak. "NO WAY!" All eyes snapped onto her person. "Don't you see! He's not just any pervert…! He's… He's…. He's a SUPER pervert! " The girl was close to hyperventilating now and Ranma frowned. "He turns into a she! She isn't even human! She's a furry cat-rabbit GIRL! Not only that, she turns into that little…THING! UH-UH! No Way!"

Soun frowned and turned to the remaining two girls. Akane could be so… Nabiki interrupted his thoughts. "I have to pass, too. While I'm sure it would make for an excellent business opportunity…" She let her objection trail off into silence and Soun looked at the final sister.

"Oh, my," she stated as all the responsibility fell into her lap. She was just about ready to speak when Ranma spoke up in her place.

"No."

"No!" Both parents exclaimed simultaneously.

"No." Ranma repeated and a pointed ear twitched with irritation, but then he smiled at the eldest Tendo sister and said, "Look, I ain't got nothing against you Kasumi, but I ain't about to force anybody to marry me like this." Ranma's smile turned to a frown once again. "Hell, I don't think _I'd_ even marry me like this." The furry girl stood up suddenly as if coming to a decision and turned to the door.

"Where are you going, Boy?"

"Back to China!" Ranma retorted. "…To find a way to change back for good! This is no time for _fiancées_." The furry girl turned back to her newest source of angst as she reached the doorway, favoring Akane with a haughty look. "_By the way_, you may not like this body, but you have to admit... I'm better built to boot!"

To say that Akane Tendo wasn't one to take constructive criticism well was an understatement and she gripped the table, sending it down into Ranma with furious anger. It then came as complete shock to watch the table pass through her body completely as if she were a ghostly apparition. Unfortunately, the increase in her own chortling blinded the redhead to the first of many mallets that would find her with eerie precision. The shock broke her concentration and Ranma instantly reverted to her smaller form, which was mashed with ease. Nabiki stared and Kasumi's eyes widened with horror. She snatched up the cutest little creature in the world and favored her younger sister with a menacing glare that caused her to shiver.

"That is no way to treat guests, _little sister!_" She admonished sharply, then turned her attention to the unconscious bundle of fur cradled in her arms. She looked upon it with sympathy and left the table for the upstairs guest room, leaving a slightly confused family in her wake.

For once, Genma Saotome wasn't sure exactly _what_ his son had coming.

* * *

"Ah! She's awake!"

Those were the first words to greet Ranma's ears as she struggled through the warm lethargy that clouded his brain at the moment. Her eyes slowly pried themselves open to be greeted by an angelic sight: Kasumi's face looking down at her in absolute adoration. Ranma felt a hand scritch her head softly, eliciting an involuntary purr from her throat. It was a feeling that she would have like to continued to indulge in until she realized something was a bit off. She took stock of the situation, and it didn't come as much of a surprise that she was in critter mode. What did come as a surprise was the location from which she was receiving Kasumi's attentions. There was a reason she felt soft, warm and comfortable, and that was because she was being held firmly to the eldest Tendo's breasts. _Again_. The mental reboot came a bit more quickly this time and Ranma managed to squirm her way out of her grasp and activate the transformation into her humanoid girl mode. She gathered her clothes at lightning speeds and faced the two Tendos, minus one Akane.

If it could be seen through her fur, Ranma was now blushing a bright pink, but her stammers were cut off by a gentle smile from Kasumi. "Are you okay? Don't think too badly of Akane." The cat-rabbit girl gaped, dumbfounded. Kasumi _knew_ he was really a guy, so what the HELL was going on here? "She's really a very sweet girl… She's just a violent maniac, that's all."

Ranma blinked, and Nabiki sitting next to her sister rolled her eyes. "Oh, good Kasumi, that makes a lot of sense."

The furry girl with pointy ears simply shook her head and thanked the girls for their help, before deciding it was high time for a nice, long soak. The sooner she could ditch this body, the sooner the weirdness would stop. Hopefully. Yeah, right. Ranma walked down stairs and phased through the bathroom door without any conscious thought. Stupid, violent tomboy, she fumed. Why'd she have ta hit me so hard? Ranma rubbed the knot on her head and slipped out of her clothes and set them in the waiting basket, missing the clothing already in the beside it. Who would want to marry that violent chick anyway?

She was about ready to phase throught the furo door as well when it slid open, putting her face to face with one slightly stunned and very nude Akane Tendo. Cat-rabbit girl took one look at the macho chick in front of him and watched the rage build in her eyes. Luckily, Ranma was a quick study when it came to violent activities.

_WHiiiIFF!_

Akane's fist blew clean through Ranma's cheek and out the back of her head, causing the girl to stumble forward, off balance, and _through_ Ranma's furry female phase-shifted body. The redhead favored her with a quick "Nyaah!" before stepping into the furo room herself and locking the youngest sister out. Sure, there'd be hell to pay when she was done, but there's nothing like a little short term self-gratification.

* * *

**Phase 003**

* * *

**Chaos:** **2 a** A state of things in which chance is supreme; _especially_ the confused unorganized state of primordial matter before the creation of distinct forms - compare. **b** the inherent unpredictability in the behavior of a natural system (as the atmosphere, boiling water, or the beating heart) **3 a** a state of utter confusion **b** a confused mass or mixture.

* * *

**N**abiki stared at the now currently male Ranma Saotome as he balanced high atop the chain-linked fence. If it weren't for his…_issues_, he would have made a fine catch, she admitted silently, then looked at her sister walking along side. Akane was practically a small reactor boiling with malcontent. Nabiki would catch her snatching angry glances every now and then as they walked to school and knew the exact reason why. It wasn't that the Saotome was necessarily a bad guy, but he already had no less than four strikes against him before he even managed to open his mouth. First, he was a guy. Bad news when associating with Akane Tendo. Second, he transformed into a girl. Pervert proof positive. Third, the girl wasn't human. Perverted transsexual…Alien? Forth, he and she transformed into a furry little… Thing. That made for a Super perverted trans-sexual-trans-species cat rabbit alien. Nabiki wondered silently if the he/she aspect should actually count as five strikes, but discarded the unnecessary detail. Then he had to open his mouth, and that was all she wrote. Sure, Akane might have deserved every word, but that was beside the point, and she had never seen anybody so deep on her sister's shit list as the fence-borne martial artist.

And all that was just in the last night.

Then there was the question of how to make money off their new houseguests. Pandas were easy. Renting Genma out to a few parties every now and then would be a simple matter. A cat-rabbit girl, however… Photos were out. She just couldn't imagine much demand for those sort of photos, and truth be told she _really_ didn't want to associate with the people that _would_ be interested.

"I'm _not_ marrying an alien pervert, you know!" Akane interrupted her sister's thoughts with the unsolicited proclamation, and Ranma scowled in response.

"You're tellin' me?"

"So don't hang around me at school!" Akane's roiling boil of resentment continued unabated as if the boy had never even spoken.

"Don't worry!" Ranma snorted with contempt. "I can't stand macho chicks like you!"

Nabiki watched as those words summoned Ranma's father out of nowhere, who promptly began to try and teach his ungrateful son the finer points of the arranged marriage concept. Tried, and successfully found himself taking a dip in the reservoir below. The incident wasn't entirely without casualties, the middle sister noted as Ranma's evasive techniques landed him square in the path of an elderly woman's water blessing. The splash of water hit and Nabiki watched once again in amazement as the boy transformed into his cute, furry animal alter ego.

Akane had an entirely too self-satisfied look on her face and Nabiki walked up to the pile of clothes and the cat-rabbit at its center. She picked up the dejected creature by the nape of its neck and smirked. "Something wrong, Saotome?" It squirmed in her grasp.

"MiyAH! MiyhAHmiYAH!"

Nabiki blinked. It even _sounded_ cute. She hadn't a clue as to what it said, but the meaning could be discerned easily enough. It also didn't take a rocket scientist to realize why it hadn't gone alien-girl yet. While modesty didn't seem to be one of Ranma's strong suits, she was betting the desire not to be seen nude in public was. "Alright, we'll get you some hot water. You _owe_ me, Saotome."

Doctor Tofu was intrigued, to say the least. While he wasn't a zoologist by any stretch of the imagination, college education did have its benefits and he was pretty sure whatever it was sitting on his table didn't exactly belong on Earth. Granted, he had seen stranger things than the cat-rabbit in his time and training, but even he had to admit it was a tad odd. Of course, 'odd' didn't quite cut it when he returned from fetching the hot water to find a clothed cat-rabbit girl sitting on the same table. He stared and it helpfully took the glass from his hand before he dropped it himself. 'Odd' _definitely_ didn't cover the transformation from cat-rabbit girl to human boy as the poured down on him. Or at least he thought it was a him. It sure looked like it.

"Uh.. Ranma Saotome," The boy introduced himself, hopping off the table. "It's a curse." Doctor Tofu nodded dumbly. Of course. Sure it was.

"Ranma, get out here, we're going to be late!" Nabiki called out and Ranma gave the Doc a quick thanks as the trio continued on their way.

* * *

"I DESPISE MEN!"

Ranma watched from the wall as the angry girl with cobalt hair cut a swath of death and destruction through the mob of hormonally driven boys. It heartened him to know that not only was Ranma _not_ the only one, but Akane Tendo was in fact a violent maniac like Kasumi said. Nabiki was conducting some sort of business from the sidelines as the last boys fell, allowing the female combatant to wipe the sweat from her brow. Yikes, Ranma thought grimly. He respected the fact that she was strong and reasonably skilled, but there was no WAY he was gonna get engaged to somebody with THAT sort of temper. All the strength and technique in the world didn't matter a lick without discipline and that _monster_ down there had zero. He was mulling over how to get out of this insane three-way engagement when he noticed movement at the edge of the massacre.

"Truly such a boorish lot…" Damn, just how popular was this violent girl, Ranma wondered as the new boy stepped into the war zone of fallen bodies. He tuned out the guy's monotonous droning, barely catching his name as he continued his speech. The word "fight" brought him back to the present.

Ranma looked down to the nearby Nabiki. "Hey Nabs, what's going on there?" An annoyed look crossed her but her reply was cut off by the guy in question.

"You there!" The wooden sword whipped around to point at Ranma and he hopped off the wall. "You are being quite familiar with the beauteous sisters Tendo!" Nabiki winced. "Who are you, Boor? Ah! But it is the custom to give one's own name first! Fine then! Mine I shall give!"

Ranma thought he'd die of bordom as it took "The Blue Thunder of Furikan High" ten minutes to actually get to the point, and another five minutes to challenge him. By that time, Ranma had almost fallen asleep. Something about living with Akane, speaking ill of her, yadda, yadda, yadda. Even the exciting part- the fight –was cut short by an unexpected rain shower and it was only by shear luck that ol' Pops was able to rush him in doors before the transformation took full effect. Hellva way to start the day. Just what his classmates needed to see. Sure they'd find out eventually, but he just hoped they wouldn't take it as badly as that angry little Tendo girl.

And that was all _before_ he jumped out the window.

Somehow The Blue Thunder couldn't get it past his thick skull that he wasn't engaged to any of the sisters, let alone that violent tomboy named Akane. So they took the fight outside. From the third story window. And into the gym pool. It wasn't one of his brighter moments, Ranma decided as he hit the water, but at least he was prepared for the change this time and initiated a relatively new technique. The curse activated and as soon as he felt it, Ranma dug in hard and forced the transformation into his demon-girl form. The result? The transformation from critter to girl happened so quickly that she didn't lose her clothes in the splashdown.

Kuno was a little worse for the wear, not having expected the jump or the subsequent impact of the hard water below. He was out cold and Ranma was going to hate herself in the morning for what she was about to do. Can't exactly leave him to drowned, can I? Ranma thought and began to pull the wayward kendo champion to the poolside whereupon her furry breasts were prompt groped

"RANMA SAOTOME, I FIGHT ON!"

The reaction was swift and painful. Ranma growled and locked the student's head in place before flipping him hard onto the dried concrete before flipping herself over the fence and out of sight, leaving the students to wonder why Ranma's body looked more reddish with longer hair.

Probably just an illusion.

* * *

"Two thousand yen." Nabiki stated, looking up at the furry, half naked girl. One hand was held out, waiting expectantly while the other contained a tea kettle full of hot water.

Ranma gave her a sharp look. "Do I look like I have two thousand yen on me?"

Nabiki arched an eyebrow. As a matter of fact, no she didn't. Her clothes were wet, her fur was wet and she was wringing out her wet pants.

"Just how dumb can you be?" Akane walked up behind her, glaring at the alien girl. "I mean, jumping into the pool like that of your own free will, pervert." Pantless and tree-bound, the best Ranma could reply with was an obnoxious face.

"Nyaah! NyaaaH!"

Akane growled, but Nabiki pre-empted her. "Alright, Saotome. I'll put it on your tab. _This time._ Next time I want—"

"Whither Ranma Saotome!"

Nabiki sighed and passed the kettle to Akane, who in turn threw it at Ranma. Whether the action was out of spite or not was uncertain, though she managed to catch it. Barely. "Really Kuno-baby, you shouldn't get so worked up."

"If it isn't the mercenary Nabiki and the flower Akane Tendo!" Tatewake exclaimed and altered his course. "Have thou seen the rapscallion Saotome! No doubt he feared my prowess! He is no man! HE IS NO—"

_KLOONG!_

Tatewake Kuno's furious monologue was interrupted by the application of a tea kettle to the side of his head. The dented kettle fell to the side and Kuno shook the ringing out of his skull. He turned to the tree. "That hurt you… know?" He blinked several times. "You! You're that water nymph! So… Did you see where the cowardly boy in the pigtail went?"

Ranma hoped down from the tree, visibly seething. "I'm not going to hang there and take this! I can take you anytime!"

Nabiki smiled to herself. The last the thing you EVER wanted to do to Kuno if you were a girl and that was to challenge him. Congratulations Saotome… You've just ensured your stay at Furikan High will be a miserable one. Of course, being a, um… "Water Nymph" might keep him away entir—

"Heh! Amusing. Well should you win…I will allow you to go out with me!" The Tendo sisters face-planted into the ground even as Kuno rushed the tree-bound water nymph. Both thinking the same thing_… The guy will date anything that moves! _Human and otherwise, evidently.

Kuno's first slash cut _through_ Ranma's body and she simply stepped forward and applied a high round house kick to the sempai's face. "Who's asking to go out with you?" The upper classman slumped to the ground as darkness filled his vision. "And guess what, Kuno… Ranma Saotome is even better than me!" She dropped his bokken and the three women- well, two girls and one demonic alien girl –left the scene of the crime.

* * *

A very male Ranma turned over on his futon that night, recalling the conversation with his father. Yeah, the sisters had looked out for him… To some extent, at least. Akane could barely stand him and he was already in debt two thousand yen with Nabiki. Did Pops honestly expect him to be a fiancé to any of 'em…? Even Kasumi was a bit on the scary side. He was beginning to suspect that accidental splash at of water at supper hadn't been so accidental after all. More like a poorly veiled excuse to cuddle with his critter form. Not that he was one to talk, but the entire household had _issues_. Big ones.

Ranma Saotome, cursed heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts drifted off to sleep and as he did, barely paid any mind to the voices he was hearing from the depths of his subconscious. If he would have been more aware, he wouldn't have identified them as voices, per se… but sounds… Like they were trying to tell him something. Something that sounded like…

…Miyah?

___**End Part One**_

* * *

**Authors's Notes:** _This particular fic was an experiment in more ways than one. First, to see how close to the canon I could keep it after drastically altering Ranma's curse. Second, to keep from boring everybody with scene rehash since we're basically going over the same manga timeline. I've found myself reading other people's fics and simply skipping over that rehash until I got to the next "inspired" part. Hopefully I'm keeping these sections lively for you. Finally, I began this story before even knowing "Spring of Drowned Miyah!" existed, so any similarities are entirely coincidental.  
_

**Cabbits;** _Trying to stay as canon as possible, we already know they exhibit many of Ryoko's powers. Floating and phase shifting through solid matter being the primary in both cabbit and humanoid forms. While not specified in any series, it wouldn't be a huge stretch to assume that a cabbit could product blaster fire and possibly even teleport in humanoid form like Ryoko as well._

**Transformers;** _Ranma's modes break down quite simply—The cabbit is his default curse mode that will always appear with cold water. From there, Ranma must expend energy and concentration to shift into humanoid mode. A tired or sufficiently distracted Ranma will find himself reverting back into cabbit mode. Finally, there is battleship mode. Since it is a natural state, it requires no effort to maintain. (Because I said so). Note, ALL modes are subject to the rules of his curse. Draw your own conclusions._

**Akane;** _Get over it :p_

**Kasumi;**_ Her actions toward Ranma are not nessisarily designed to angle the matchup in her direction. Just an illustration of how eccentric_ _she can be, nothing more._

**Ranma;**_ has a ponytail, not a pigtail. I decided to skip the noodle curse since it would cause trouble to no end given her humanoid crabbit's penchance for wild hair. the dragon whisker would come off, he'd go back to being a guy and 'lo, instant growth. To unwieldy of a plot device to deal with constantly, so I omited that little side trip._

**Crapspace Notes:**_ This one has been lingering on the edge of death and rewrite for a while and finally it flatlined.  
_


	33. Pretty Magical Girl Ranma

**Pretty Magical Girl Ranma **  
By Ozzallos  
_The Short Goodbye_

** Part One**

_** "B**akuai Tenketsu!"_

Ranma spun left as the Lost Boy's Breaking Point technique turned what had once been a perfectly good sidewalk into a detonation of hailing concrete. Fragments ripped through the air where the martial artist had been standing, impaling the wall behind him like some misshapen shotgun blast.

"Ryoga, I really don't have time for this!"

He ducked under the next spinning roundhouse kick that took a chunk out of the already pulverized wall behind Ranma. …And he was only aiming for, oh, my head, He thought sarcastically and began to probe his opponent's defense with a few combinations of his own. Ranma frowned. All the basic stuff was meeting with solid deflections, which could only mean one thing-Ryoga had been practicing.

"You'll make time for my vengeance, Ranma!" Ryoga snarled and renewed his offensive with vigor. "I've seen hell because of you! _…AGAIN!_"

Sidestep. Duck. Quarter flip. It was all automatic as Ranma wondered just what hell he had inadvertently visited on the directionally challenged combatant this time. For Ranma, hell was Akane with a kitchen all to herself, but lord only knew what he had done to Ryoga. Dodge. Reversal. Roll out. He's probably just pissed that he got lost in the bathroom again. In fact-

"I said pay attention!" Ryoga face contorted with rage while both hands began to glow. Whatever, Ryoga. Like a stupid ki blast is going to-Wait. Both hands? "Shishi Houkou Dan Double!"

Ranma's responses were still on automatic when the duel ki-shots roared in. His initial movement would have neatly removed him from the path of the first, but however neglected to take into account a second ball of spirit energy. Blue light bathed his person as the blast flashed toward him at high speed. For most people, the situation would have spelled certain disaster. Of course, most people weren't Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts either. There was a reason this boy was called a martial arts prodigy and it showed even in how he reacted to the unexpected attack. It was a nearly impossible movement as Ranma whipped around to face the blast and generated his own blast. The two met in a blinding flash and the pigtailed boy was blow across the street landing feet first into another wall that promptly buckled on impact. He fortified his body with ki for the shock and flipped out of the crumbling indenture and back onto the street.

Sloppy, Ranma chided himself. Sloppy and careless. I just got too used to him dealing the same stale moves for months, that's all. I guess I should take it as a complement. After all, he's just copying my Moko Takabishi Double blast. Now Ryoga affected an arrogant smile from across the street and it was starting to get on his nerves.

"Really P-chan," Ryoga's smile evaporated like a snowflake in hell. Hit, Ranma smiled wickedly "Can't you come up with something original?"

"DIE, RANMA!" The pig boy snarled in undistilled rage and launched another Double blast downrange. Ranma was already in the air as the energized balls of ki obliterated the street he'd been standing. Now that's a difference, Ranma noted as tumbled through the air into Ryoga. Wonder how many doubles he can actually light off? He put the question on hold and powered up his own Moko Tababisha, bringing it down on Ryoga like a ki jackhammer.

_"Cra-CraaaaCK!"_

The shock stunned Ranma, his downward momentum stopped by two more blasts that simultaneously intercepted his own. Power erupted around him, reversing his fall violently. THREE doubles? He extended, turning his uncontrolled aerial tumble into a controlled, skidding landing. Ranma now considered his opponent in a new light as he recovered back into a combat stance. While he could pump out single blasts all day long, doubles put considerably more strain on his system and two was his limit. Ryoga had just cut loose with three and by the looks of it, wasn't showing signs of significant strain. Impressive, Ranma thought, but not good enough. He powered up another ki blast and sent it down the street, where Ryoga was more than happy to meet it with his own one more. The two flashed together, annihilating one and other in a release of incoherent energy.

The second's worth of blindness was all it took and Ranma was inside the lost boy's guard with three hard kicks to his mid-section. The force sent him into the opposite wall with a satisfying crunch. He pressed the attack, but Ryoga recovered and managed to deflect the next round of blows. He rolled right and came to rest by his hiking pack, grabbling the traditional red bamboo umbrella that was never far from his side. Ranma skipped back as the umbrella swung in and watched it take another chunk out of the already abused apartment building wall they had been dueling around. The umbrella popped open and Ryoga gave it a mighty hurl. Now it was Ranma who had to roll away as it cut it's own path down the street, it's bamboo edge slicing down light poles and traffic signs in the process. The pig-tailed boy was up again and ready to press his attack once more when he noticed the faintest edge of amusement on Ryoga's face. Shit, the umbrella! The warning blasted through Ranma and he went prone. The umbrella whistled back overhead, cutting brick out of the wall and gutting a fire hydrant before returning to Ryoga's outstretched hand.

The resulting fountain of water doused both combatants, but only one had an umbrella. Part of Ranma was getting pissed. He was now a she, cold and wet. The other part had to give Ryoga his due. The umbrella had been popped open too fast and too conveniently not to have been a preplanned move. Two attacks and some humiliation all combined into one move. Nice. The pressure from the hydrate dropped to a burble and the last of the showers pattered down on Ranma who found Ryoga smiling coldly once more. Smile while you can, pig-boy, she thought evilly. My overall power may have decreased, but my technique is the same and I even get a slight bump in speed.

Ranma blurred forward in a spray of water and Ryoga brought his weapon to bear, only to have it neatly sidestepped. Two deflections later and she opened Ryoga's guard wide and unleashed the Haku Dato Shin Sho into several parts of his body. The lost boy instantly knew it was the beginning of the end of the fight. The attack would punch super-concentrated spikes of ki using the girl's fingers tips through his body. Overall, the damage radius was minute save the fact that the spikes would reach through his own ki fortified body and into the vulnerable points. The first hit his chest. A second into his abdomen. His arm. Another chest shot. Then the redhead's hand began to glow and began to power up a ki blast at pointblank range. Ryoga watched with disbelief. Did she even realize…?

Even as the ball of destructive ki energy coalesced in her hand, she knew there was something wrong. Ranma shoved the ball of power into Ryoga's chest only to watch it ablate off his person with slight pressure, it's energy scattering harmlessly as her bare palm impacted his chest. It almost burned, nothing more.

The moment stretched eternally as the two stood frozen in the street, Ranma holding her striking stance while Ryoga simply stood there.

The moment passed and brought the umbrella back down and swatted the girl into the already scarred wall, leaving another to match Rtoga's previous. Stars blasted through her vision as she hit without preparation and she fell to her knees. Ranma's mind was racing as it fought around the daze. What the hell was that! The Haku Dato Shin Sho not going through his body was bad enough, but the raw ki attack she had produced didn't have anything behind it! The girl looked up to find Ryoga simply waiting behind a neutral mask. Fine then. Again! Ranma recovered into an attack crouch and powered up the next ki-ball and frowned. Something was very wrong. It was everything she could do just to keep the matrix to contain the energy, let alone feed power into the damn thing. Ryoga stepped forward, watching Ranma curiously now. He could see it too. Ranma glanced at him, then the ball in her hand. She willed herself to feed it. To power it. But power was dissipating through the containment matrix she had woven faster than she could feed it and the pathetic ball began to flicker. Her eyes widened. She couldn't power it? Ranma shoved the dying ball into the waiting concrete where it hit with a dull thud and scortched the ground, but otherwise did nothing to harm it.

She stared at the burn mark, unable to meet her opponent's eyes. "The Haku Dato Shin Sho didn't get through." It was half question, half knowing statement. If it had, he sure as heck wouldn't be standing up strait right now.

"No. The ki blast was also… _Pathetic._" Ranma's head snapped up, glaring at Ryoga. She drew up to her full height, which was still a full head shorter than Ryoga. This can't be happening again. She could attempt to draw the boy into the Dragon, but she wasn't going to take the fight that far. Too much property damage associated with that attack for the nerima suburb. Ranma tried to pull more power from her body and was barely able to form the container for the ball this time. She was going to have to do the unthinkable. Ryoga was too strong to fight on her female body's merits alone. Sure she was fast, but the connection to the ki within her was tenuous and her control fleeting at best. One good smack from Ryoga without her body fortified by it and she would…

"Ryoga… I… I…"

"No." Ryoga stated with certainty. He knew exactly what she was going to say. "I won't accept your forfeiture of this match." Ranma stared at him now. If he decided to press this match there was a very good chance he could pull it off. Kill her maybe. "You're not even worth fighting right now. You're weak."

Ryoga glared at the girl in front of him with contempt before snatching up his pack and walking back down the street from whence he came.

* * *

Akane watched her fiancé walk through the gates. He was a she and obviously having a very bad day if the look on her face was any indication. As the redhead passed by her, Akane knew just the thing to snap her out of it.

"Baka."

Ranma paused, tilting her head to finding a warm smile on Akane and the redhead managed a weak smile of her own. Truth be told, the engagement had not been going well and they both knew it. That didn't stop either from trying however, and the fact that they had gone from disgruntled acquaintances to an almost sibling relationship was a miracle unto itself. Ordinary people would have snapped long ago under the constant turmoil and stress that plagued their daily lives, but Akane and Ranma weren't ordinary people. They had both been entered into a prearranged marriage by their parents, bound by their will and honor to continue the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts of which Ranma was the heir apparent. As if that pressure weren't enough, Ranma had his curse, two more fiancées that would claim him by any means necessary and numerous more rivals that would kill him over the previous fact.

"So what happened?" Akane was almost afraid to ask, because the look in her eyes spoke of a heavy burden. It was something she had seen too many times and recognized it instantly. There was little they could keep from one another these days.

Ranma's weak smile vanished and was replaced by a slight frown. "It's… It's gone…"

Gone? What's gone, Akane wondered? Ranma saw the question on her face and simply stretched out a hand. A look of intense concentration flickered across her face and her hand tensed. Akane watched as a ki orb flickered to life and Ranma strained herself even more. The ball grew slightly and gained more presence, then began to waver. Her breathing began to labor and beads of sweat popped from her forehead. The ball was now the size of a cantaloupe, but it wasn't like any Akane had seen before. The ki ball suspended in Ranma's hand was a pale imitation of the destructive force she knew her fiancée could unleash at the drop of a hat and this ball was… dying. Her eyes widened as the containment matrix began to unravel and raw ki diffused into open air before collapsing entirely in on itself.

Ranma dropped to her knees, plainly exhausted. "That's the best I can do, Akane… I can barely feel it inside of me…"

Akane simply stared down at the redhead, still piecing together the implications. That can't be the best! He's unleashed ki blasts that would annihilate a small building! "You can't… At all?"

Ranma stared at the ground. "Nothing. Ryoga won't even fight me now…"

Which was probably for the best, Akane thought, but neither was she kidding herself. The only time the two passed up a brawl was if it would constitute a breach in their honor. Without ki to tap, Ranma was… Almost ordinary. Which by any measuring stick was still exceptional, just that going to toe to toe against an opponent like Ryoga would be tantamount to suicide. No ki to augment his movements, to fortify his body or to unleash the devastating attacks he had come to rely on in dealing with any number of advesaries he faced over the last three years. She may be pleased that he couldn't fight Ryoga, but there was no understating the magnitude of the problem.

And once his rivals found out…

…Let alone the other fiancées in waiting.

"Come on, baka." There was no harshness in her voice as the redhead looked up at Akane. "I'll get Kasumii to draw you a bath and we'll schedule an appointment with Doctor Tofu."

* * *

The Doctor's hands pressed down Ranma's spine with deliberate precision as the young martial artist waited shirtless on the physician's examination bed. Doctor Tofu walked around him now and poked a few more fingers into his pecs and abdomen. "And you say you first noticed this in your female form?"

Ranma nodded. "I was able to produce two Moko Takabishas before the change. Now it's like I can barely grab onto anything inside of me…"

Doctor Tofu stood up, and looked from him, to Akane and back. "Then I think I'm going to need to examine your girl-type as well." Ranma visibly twitched and Akane's face froze.

"I'll be waiting outside." Akane stated with no small frost and exited the examination room promptly. It never helped to remind Akane of the curse.

Ranma sighed. "Alright, Doc. If you think it's best." He wasn't looking forward to a partially nude examination as a chick, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd had one at Tofu's hands and Ranma always appreciated his professional demeanor throughout the checkup. A cold glass of water and some shivers later, The Doctor was back at her spine, tracing the ki lines along it, then around the breasts. The girl's cheeks turned a light shade of pink but she otherwise maintained her silence.

Doctor Tofu turned from the table and retrieved a thermos or warm water, offering it to Ranma. She proptly spilled the contents over her person. "You can come back in, Akane." The fiancée opened the door and returned to her seat staring at the two men expectantly.

"I'm not sure how to explain this…" Doctor Tofu picked over his next words carefully. "For a high ki user such as Ranma, there are well established routes and points his power flows along, normally the result of years of training and discipline in the art." Both followed so far. It was a fact they were both intimately aware of as martial artists. "Through that discipline, the user can call upon the reserves stored within his or her body. The more orderly the distribution and storage, the easier it becomes to access. That would be Ranma on any other day."

"But not today." Ranma grumbled.

"But not today." Tofu confirmed. "From what I've been able to map throughout your body, there is very little order in those pathways at the moment. In fact, there was even less order when you transformed just now." Ranma was beginning to look very unhappy. "It was almost as if the transformation disrupted the established lines of ki throughout your body…" He thought intently for a moment, then retrieved another glass of cold water. The doctor placed a single finger on Ranma's forhead, a powerful point of chi, while the other held the glass ready. "One more time with permission?"

Ranma shrugged and was doused with the water. Tofu concentrated on the points feeling the complacent ki shear and tear with the change. He then grabbed the warm thermos and repeated the process. Again, the ripples tore through the point, creating disorder. Doctor Tofu stepped back and contemplated the experiment. Then he noticed Akane's and Ranma's pink face as they stared at one another. "Uh, right. Sorry about that. It would appear as if my hypothesis was correct. I could feel the shearing that time."

The shirtless martial artist didn't like where this was going. "Every time I change?"

"It would appear so." The Doctor confirmed, handing Ranma his silk shirt back. "It's not that your ki is gone, so much as it's impossible to form in an orderly manner. It would certainly explain your fight with Ryoga."

"But why now?" Akane asked the most obvious question before Ranma could open his own mouth.

Doctor Tofu scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well, you've had the curse for about three years, right?" Ranma nodded. "Maybe it's just taken that long to break down the path ways. It could even be the curse further adapting to your body for all I know. You might want to ask Cologne or-" He stopped short as both teen's radiant glare fell upon him. Both had enough Amazon games to last them a lifetime, and neither wanted to know the old hag's price for help this time. "Or maybe not. But regardless, I can theorize two immediate conditions these ripples create. First, every time you change, your ki becomes impotent. Second, the longer you remain in one form or the other the more of a chance it is given to rebuild their pathways."

Ranma was now looking at the man in horror. "Um… How long… To rebuild the pathways?" And that wasn't even the least of his problems. Everytime he changed! He was a water magnet for cryin' out loud! That was a hell of a combat liability against the people he faced on a regular basis. "But Ryoga wasn't affected…"

He hated to keep giving the boy unknowns, but… "Honestly, I'm at a loss. Maybe it's simply a random element imbedded with the curse. Frankly, magic isn't my specialty." Doctor Tofu thought on it a moment longer. "But if you would rather avoid the Amazons I might be able to help with a referral…"

"A referral?"

"A friend of a friend of an uncle, actually." Tofu elaborated. "Maybe he'll be able to tell you more. The only thing I can suggest is to keep your changing to a minimum."

Ranma looked at the good doctor with a critical eye. "Right. A minimum."

Somehow he just didn't see that happening.

* * *

"Oh look! Halley's Comet!" Genma pointed off into the air and Soun twisted around to see. After all, those things only come by every seventy-five years or so. Genma scooped another shogi piece from his distracted opponent's board.

Soun Tendo turned back to their game. "I must have-" He stopped, eyeing the board carefully. He could have sworn there was a piece right there… "Old friend, did you happen to see piece I just moved?"

"What?" Genma feigned ignorance with a skill that could only come from years of practice. "Wait a minute. You're not trying to cheat again are you?"

"No, no… but I could have sworn…" Soun tried to retrace the moves that led up to his subsequent missing piece.

"Look Tendo, I don't have time for-" Genma's banter was cut off as the front dojo gate opened, admitting a diminutive figure. He stood only slightly talker than Happosai and the most obvious features to strike the casual observer was the rather large domed shell he wore over his head. Next was the long cane resting lightly on his shoulder, ending in the shape of a bronze spade ring with two more rings hanging from it. The rings jingled lightly as the old man approached the pair playing shogi on the house porch.

"Where might this one find Ranma Saotome?" The crackled old voice addressed the Soun and Genma as he came to a stop next to the board.

Genma Saotome eyed the old man warily. No significant ki readings. He's old. Not much of a threat by himself. A monk maybe? "You're not here concerning a fiancée are you?" The old monk shook his head. "A rival?" Negative. "Seeking revenge?" Another no. Genma considered the old man once more and shrugged, turning back to the house. "Get your butt out here, Boy!"

Ranma padded down the stairs and found the parents with a guest outside. "Keep your shorts on, Old …man?" He found the monk staring up at him, studying him intently. Oh god, not another old ghoul…

"This one hears you have a minor problem, young one." The old man smiled mischievously and Genma's ears perked up. Problem? This would be the first he'd heard of one.

Ranma winced. Damn. Secret was out. "Um, yeah. A problem."

"With a curse." The monk probed deeper.

"Uh, yeah… Are you…?"

Genma relaxed. Whew… Thought he had a new problem there for a moment.

"This one was referred by Doctor Tofu, yes." The old man confirmed. "The ki is still disturbed?" Ranma nodded and his father's gaze narrowed on him. Maybe there was something to this after all. The boy was holding out on him, he was sure of it.

"Kneel." Ranma did so, coming down to the monk's height. "This one does not deal with ki, but with magic. Mind you this one is not your personally physician to help or call at your whim, as only the curse interests him…" He paused, staring at Ranma with ancient eyes. "…_Not you._"

Ranma arched an eyebrow. Pretty damn direct, but whatever. Not as if they were going to become best buddies anyway. Just tell me what's happening so I can get on with my life. Ranma nodded, and the old man seemed placated.

"Now that we understand one another, let us begin." Genma and Soun watched as the Monk lowered the staff and hanging rings onto the boy's head, closing his eyes. The bronze spade began to glow with a light jingle and the old man closed his eyes, concentrating. Ranma could feel a wave pour through his body, reflecting around inside his very being. The feeling continued for several minutes before finally washing away entirely.

The Old man returned the staff to his shoulder, frowning. "The damage is irreparable." Ranma's jaw dropped with proclamation and the old man continued unaware. "The taint of death magic surrounds you. Powerful death magic. If your doctor was correct, the side effect is most likely associated with the chaos of its implementation."

Ranma's mind was barely able to form his next coherent thought into words, still stunned by the certainty of the old monk's prognosis. "Wah… What about removing the curse?"

"Ha!" The monk laughed and his staff jingled lightly as his small body shook. "This one does not believe it can be done, but will humor you. Tell this one about the curse and its result."

"It's the Jyusenkyou curse." Ranma explained through his ever-mounting depression. "Basically a hundred springs, each with their own drowned victim. Anybody who falls in," He shot a hot glare at his father, "will take the form of whatever drowned there last. Cold water activates the curse, warm water reverses it."

The monk looked at the boy thoughtfully for a moment and shrugged. "The amount of spilled blood is enormous. And it continues?"

Ranma shook his head. "No longer. The site is destroyed."

The old monk considered him, watching the flames glow in his eyes. Destroyed in a manner that he had no small part in, this one bets… "Unless you are will to sacrifice a greater number of souls or ally yourself with extremely powerful magic, this one does not believe the curse can be reversed."

The glowing flames switched to panic. Damn it! I'll be dog meat before the end of the year! I can't stop myself from changing long enough for the ki to settle and while I could probably take out the lower level opponents around here on skill alone, anybody even approaching Ryoga's level is going to hurt. Bad. Think… Think… Think…

The old man nodded and turned his back on the Ranma, walking back toward the gates. "Um, maybe I can learn magic!"

Genma's eyes popped open. He didn't know what was going on, but that was most likely the most ridiculous comment he'd heard from the boy in years. "Magic! Are you daft, boy? You're a martial artist, not some stage magician!"

The monk turned back to Ranma with a frown. "You are an unsuitable vessel. Willing, yes. Good student, yes. But your body is closed to those arts by nature. Nothing you can do-"

Ranma was standing over his father now breathing anger down on the man. "Dammit, Pops! Keep you mouth shut! I'm in serious trouble here!"

Genma's fist shot out and grabbed the boy by his shirt, pulling him down. "Listen, Boy! A true martial artist must be ready day or night for trouble!" His father used the downward momentum to plant a foot into Ranma's chest. "And not rely on magical parlor tricks!" Genma kicked out hard, rolling backward and suddenly, Ranma was in flight. There could be only one landing zone.

_SpaLOoooSH!_

"Waddja do that for?"

The Monk stopped short of pulling the gate open and looked back toward the female voice, finding a soaked redhead waist deep in the property's koi pond. He walked back over to the pond's edge and stared at the girl curiously.

Ranma wasn't exactly happy and his sum total experience with old people staring at her such as this one was that they were either perverts or manipulative backstabbers. "Whaddya want now? You already said no, so leave already." Besides, it was time for her to kick some panda ass, she thought darkly.

"Your curse?" The monk asked simply.

"Yeah…?"

He nodded. "This form is open to the teaching. It has great potential."

It wasn't the first time in Ranma's life that she was both thrilled and crushed simultaneously. So she could learn magic, but he couldn't. Great. Would anything else like to conspire against my male form, she thought sarcastically? But still, it was a shot. Not just at restoring his ki, but his form as well…

"But why not me as a guy?"

"Because magic is not like ki. You harness the forces around you and manipulate them as they pass through you." The old monk explained patiently. "Life force creates ki. Magic is. Your body must be naturally receptive to those forces so that it may pass through you and your male self is dead to magic. This one believes that your female self however, hold great potential."

Ranma stepped out of the pond and was processing the new information when her father stormed over. "Boy, you ARE a MARTIAL ARTIST!" A hand reached out to grab her shoulder, but paused just out of reach. The redhead blinked in surprise and found her father floating a foot off the ground. Floating?

She looked down at the monk, who simply smiled mischeviously. "This one has not had a promising student in several hundred years. Do not disturb us." Genma's arms and legs flailed wildly as he drifted lazily over the pond.

"Ra- Ranma! Stop him!" Genma pleaded desperately and the girl smiled. If the old monk was looking to score points with her, he was certainly doing a fine job of it now. Now if he'd only drop-

_SpaLOooosh!_

Ah, that's the stuff, Ranma smiled wickedly, and led the old man back to the house, leaving a giant wet Panda in their wake.

* * *

"It is not so easy." The old monk sat inside at their dining room table, sipping the tea Kasumi has so graciously served them both. "To reverse the death magic surrounding you requires an equal or greater amount of magic, either willing or …Unwilling."

Ranma nodded slowly, Akane having found his side only moments before to hear the explanation. "So we're not talking about a quick fix here."

"Years of practice. Dedication to the Art will be required." The old man confirmed solemly.

It sucked, but there was one thing about the Old man that had his immediete respect-He didn't sugar coat the issues or mislead him. Yet. Sakkarin he called himself. Evidentially he found Ranma worthy of revealing his name considering they might be working together.

"Look, I know better than anybody that the arts require sacrifice," Ranma sighed wearily. After over a decade in constant unceasing training, he had better know that fact by heart. "But I've got a lot of… friends who have just been waiting for an opportunity like this to get to know me better."

Sakkarin nodded. "You concentrate on the end goal, yet there are many steps to strengthen one from here to there. Endure and you will face your… 'friends' easily." He said the last with a twinkle in his eye.

Ranma was thinking long and hard on the old man's words. Even something simple like floating people around would make his opponent's think twice… The idea was already gaining merit in his mind when another, more pressing question rolled forth. Nabiki, who was out at the moment, would have been proud.

"What's in it for you?"

Again, the mischievous smile appeared. "You, of course. As this one's apprentice, you shall carry out tasks for him. And if you have as much potential as this one thinks you do, his name will be carried far and wide through circles most powerful."

Ranma thought on it some more. Apprenticeship wasn't so bad. Performing tasks wasn't bad either. Can't be much worse than Old Pops has already put me through, he thought grimly. But there was…

"All that time as a girl, Ranma?" Akane voiced his concerns as if she were his thoughts manifest. Ranma nodded soberly. Yeah, that was going to be a problem.

Sakkarin took another sip of tea. "Only during class and practice. It is the only way you may learn but you are not required to stay female exclusively." The monk watched Ranma dwell on the matter and decided not to push too hard. "This one does not require a decision today." He slid a gold coin across the table. "Think on it tonight and tomorrow and let this one know before sunrise of the day after."

"More tea?" Kasumi walked in smiling gently at the old monk, who returned her smile.

"Thank you, but no." He pause a moment and cocked his head slightly. "Kasumi Tendo, you are fascinated by the medical arts, are you not?"

Kasumi looked down at Sakkarin. "Oh my, yes… How did you know?"

"The house whispers of your desires, Kasumi Tendo." He smiled. "It is very fond of you."

She had known the dojo was part of her just as much as she was part of it, but had never considered the relationship from a metaphysical standpoint, let alone from one that would find the house aware of her presence. "The house is… fond of me?" Now Akane and Ranma were starting at the old Monk.

"Indeed." Sakkarin confirmed. "It also desires you to pursue your dreams…" Then he winked. "As long as those dreams do not take you away from it for so long."

Medical school had always been on her mind… A nurse's license, maybe more were the dreams floating though her head. Kasumi was a sponge when it came to medicine. She had borrowed numerous books from Doctor Tofu and raided the public library for everything she could get her hands on. She just didn't spend her days at the house idle and now she found herself actually running out of material that could be considered easy access. The next logical step would be a university, but she couldn't even think of that until Ranma and Akane got together. Kasumi's mood soured a bit. And they were certainly taking their sweet time to do it. No that she could blame them, but…

"Are you offering… To teach me as well?" She ventured and the Ranma-Akane couple's eyes widened. Kasumi? Magic!

"Magic, yes," Sakkarin grinned a wrinkled smile. "but the divine art of healing is best left to others, not this one. Still, this house whispers highly of you and your desire, while this one can feel your potential as well. An excellent student you would be."

Now Akane was feeling slighted as her older sister began to seriously consider the offer. Everybody was going to run off and learn something but her! "Um, what about me? Can I learn some magic too?" she asked hopefully.

Sakkarin had already decided on that from the moment he saw Akane Tendo, the un-fiancee of Ranma Saotome. "Goodness no!" Akane's eyes flew open in shock. "Too much chaos flows through you. Discontent. This one could not assure your own safety in the teaching."

"WHAT!"

A bright blue aura flashed to life around the girl as her eyes lit with fury over the perceived slight. Her hand slowly pulled a large mallet from behind her back.

Ranma was now mentally at DEFCON one. "Akaneeee…" He whispered up to her softly, but with much trepidation. First, the last thing he wanted to do was interpose himself between the girl and her anger, second, she was about to assault his potential sensei and third… "_Remember the panda._" He hissed softly.

The battle aura dimmed slightly and the hammer drawing hand froze in place. The panda in question had been dunked into the pond with little to no effort on Sakkarin's part. That wasn't so much of a big deal, except for the fact that the panda continued to be dunked. Repeatedly. He'd fall into the pond, rise back up, fall and rise again. All courtesy of the little monk's magic. To their knowledge, the process was still going on outside even as they spoke. Akane slide the hammer back in place and settled for a heated glare before spinning away from the table and stomping upstairs to her room.

Sakkarin smiled that mischievous smile once more, then looked back to Kasumi. "Ranma learns this art out of nessesity. You learn it out of desire. This one is certain that at the conclusion of your training you will be a Healer of the highest rank and regard." Kasumi's own eyes widened now and the possibilities raced though her mind. Her dream could come true! Albiet in a most unorthodox way, but she loved…

"Again, you need not decide now." The old monk stated, standing up from the table. "I thank you for your hospitality Kasumi Tendo, Ranma Saotome." His fingers snapped and the monk was gone in a flash of light and poof of smoke.

Tendo and Saotome were left to simply stare at one another in awe.

* * *

"Boy, you had seriously better not be considering learning magic." Genma snapped at his son from across the dinner table.

For once, he and Akane were in agreement. "Honestly Ranma, magic tricks are for kids."

Ranma ignored his fiancée and smirked at his father. "Yeah Pop? I didn't exactly see the special technique that got you out of the pond."

Now it was Soun Tendo's turn to jump in. "Your father is right. This is the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, not Magical Arts."

"What happened to the 'Anything Goes' part, Daddy?" Nabiki quipped and Ranma had to smile. He tried not to let it spread to wide since the knife called Nabiki would just as soon slit his own wrists as their parents.''

Ranma consumed another morsel of food. "Look, I explained the problem already. My transformation disrupts my ki now. I am a water magnet. Do the math, people." Then he had a wicked idea. "Heck, Nabiki oughta be happy to have me out of the house just to get rid of the damage and food expenses anyway."

Nabiki snatched a glance at the young Saotome. It was an obvious ploy to get her on his side, but an effective one regardless. That was no small consideration, but she couldn't let him off too easily. "True, but then I loose all the income from your pictures." Ranma's cheeks turned pink. That's what I was looking for, the middle Tendo thought with delight. "But he's right. Our outgo would be substantial less."

He mentally sighed in relief. Nabiki was a lock. "Besides, it's not as if I'm giving up the art or running out on the engagement. In fact, I'm doing it to get the art back."

"Hmmf." Genma snorted. "We'll see. But don't even think of running off until we've decided."

"Oh, hey, no problem, Pops."

* * *

Truth be told, he had decided for himself by the next morning. Ranma had been thinking on the matter for the entire night and realized learning that art wasn't just a means to an end, but something fascinating in and of itself. I mean come on, he thought that night. If you can make something float around, what else can you do? And disappear before their very eyes? You can't tell me that wouldn't be useful in a battle. So the day rolled along, marked only by the passing of the occasional fiancée glomp, a mallet queen's temper and surprise attack by Mousse. I was lucky, Ranma realized. The fiancées weren't hostile and Mousse was easily taken out by his natural abilities. Granted, without the ki to fortify his body, he had to avoid Akane's mallet of death, but thank God he was fast enough for that.

Now night had fallen and the decision was made. He only had one thing left to do before he did whatever he was supposed to do with the coin.

_Tap Tap tap._

Kasumi looked up from her book and found a male Ranma hanging down into her window. She smiled and opened it up, letting the young man in. "You really ought use the door, Ranma." She said with mock reprove. Not only was it his normal mode of entrance concerning the sisters, but she could guess easily enough why he was here, but she asked anyway. Besides, it was a rare occurrence to find Ranma in her room. Helping her in the kitchen, yes. Miscellaneous chores, sure. But she could literally count the number of times he had been in her room on one hand.

"What can I do for you Ranma?"

Ranma looked her, uncertain how to proceed. "Well, the old guy offered, um… Well, that if you wanted to come along… Y'know. Just thought I'd stop by before I left."

"You're not going to wait, are you?" Kasumi observed. Not that it was a surprise. "Neither of our fathers will be pleased."

Ranma shrugged with indifference. "It's not as if I'm running of to China. Or marrying another fiancée. Heck, I've even got a shot of getting rid of the damn curse. Ain't no way I'm passing that up."

Kasumi saw the certainty in his eyes. She had been on the fence herself, which was surprising in its own way. She had a strong loyalty to her family and the house, and it no small part in her thoughts. Now that the monk Sakkarin had mentioned it, she could feel the house. Its approval. It was willing to let her go. Encouraging her to live her dreams. Kasumi looked at Ranma. His confidence. The house's approval. It was all she needed to tip the scales.

She pulled the packed suitcase from under her bed and Ranma about fell over in shock. "You've already packed!"

"Shhhh…" Kasumi smiled, finger at her lips. "I had not decided until a moment ago. Still, this whole business about leaving in the middle of the night…"

"Tell me about it." Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'd tell 'em if I could, but you know the parents. Pops said maybe, but maybe means no. Akane would get furious and if the other fiancées ever caught wind of it, I'd never have a moment's peace. And that's not counting the likes of Ryoga, Mousse, Kuno, Kodachi and God knows who else."

Kasumi nodded with sympathy. His life was horribly complicated most of the time, and she certainly couldn't blame the boy for running off in the middle of the night to pursue his dreams. It inspired her at the same time, though. To pursue her dreams as well- A world-class physician! A giggle escaped Kasumi's lips and Ranma smiled knowingly. Her face turned to a visage of contemplation for a moment.

"We should leave a note."

Ranma nodded. Wish I had thought of that, he mused. "You better write it. We both know anything I put on paper will be mud." Kasumi smiled again. So true. She sat down at her desk and began scribbling a note to indicate their leave of absence. "Oh, and make sure to tell them I didn't seduce you or nothin'." Kasumi couldn't help to giggle once more and it heartened Ranma. "And remind 'em that I'll make sure nothing will happen to yas. Oh, and that Akane-"

"I think they'll understand, Ranma." She smiled back at him. Maybe he really does need a break form all this. There's just entirely too much pressure on him for a boy his age.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He said agreeably, then something else occurred to him. "Jeez, I hope they don't starve."

Now Kasumi couldn't decide whether to frown at the disparaging of her sister's cooking or smile at the compliment to her own. Lacking a clear avenue, she opted for a mild instruction. "I'm sure Akane will be fine. I think the house will take care of her."

The house, Ranma thought. That was still an odd concept to grasp, but he had to agree. The martial artist patted a wall gently. "Yeah, it's been a good house. First real home I've had in nearly a decade." Then he chuckled. "It'll probably be happy with the break I'm givin' it and all."

"Ok, done." Kasumi left the note sit on the desk and stood before Ranma. "Now what?"

Ranma dug the gold coin out of his pocket. Thank God Nabiki hadn't seen it or he'd be risking his life and sanity keeping it from her. "Um, he just said use it." The eldest Tendo looked at it curiously as well. "Hmmm… We'd like to see ol' Sakkarin now?"

The coin began to vibrate in his hand and Ranma dropped it to the floor in shock. What the-! The golden disk began to glow as it sat on the floor, and continued to glow until no detail could be discerned from its surface. Both Tendo and Saotome took a step back when it started to change shape, first into a bright square, then elongating into a three-foot by two-inch rectangle. Then it began to grow. The base dimensions remain the same but it climbed in height to about the size of a…

The glow faded and before them sat a door, supported by nothing and complete with doorknob and intricate oak finish.

"Uh, right." Ranma stepped forward, looking around the other side of the unsupported door. Weird, but cool, he thought. Kasumi looked at him with uncertainty and he grasped the doorknob, turning it. The door itself clicked open, and their eyes looked on in awe.

"Well, come on you two," Sakkarin quipped. "This one doesn't have all day!"

* * *

**Author's notes**

_**O**k, ok… Standard Fanfic Plot #6: Ranma goes magical, gets some back. I dunno, it just seemed like it'd be fun to try out myself. Hopefully I'm doing a good enough job so far for yas. Enjoy part 2._

**Sakkarin;** _In casting this character, you'll need a reference to the game Samurai Showdown (or Spirits, depending on how anal you are). He looks exactly like the character Caffeine-Nicotine, but is of course, a mage. I would have just used Caffeine-Nicotine as his name her if it were so damn cumbersome and corny. So I chose an artificial sweetener instead. Hey, doesn't that stuff cause cancer too?_

**Kasumi;**_ I didn't originally intend on the Kasumi match up, but after about page five, I decided I like the idea the more I thought on it. Generally, Nabiki is more fun because of all the angst that she brings to the table, but I'm sure I can get by with magical girl Kasumi quite well. It'll be fun, trust me._

**Thanks-**  
Shaule Sachs/Zaxxon - The Travelers; _Somewhere along the way, my idea got kind of tangled up with his and I have to admit, it is one of the better multiverse Ranma fanfics I've read. …Even if it is a tad on the lemony sub-dom side. Seriously though, this fanfic originally started out staying within its own timeline and world with Ranma learning magical arts. Frankly, it's a lot more fun now :D_

* * *

**Pretty Magical Girl Ranma **  
By Ozzallos  
_Be It Ever So Humble_

** Part Two**

** A **seven-foot line of vertical light cut into the local reality, forming atop a water tower in Nermia, Japan. The line increased to a three-foot width, forming what amounted to a luminescent two-dimensional wall. The first figure that stepped out of the unnatural barrier was a diminutive five-foot two redhead clad in an elaborate earthen brown robe, decorated with royal blue highlights. It wrapped around the neck, leaving shoulders and back bare. A shawl draped around those smooth shoulders and her step onto the water tower was accompanied by a jingle, the result of the rings hanging off spade tipped staff in her hand. She looked around, smiled slightly and held out a hand to the waiting trans-dimensional gateway.

The next figure that stepped through the door of light had a peaceful air about her as she took the redhead's hand. Her rolling brown hair wavered in the wind softly, as did her dark blue kimono-like dress. The golden dragons along its lines seemed to ripple with life as she stepped carefully onto the water tower top. Whereas the redhead's free hand was occupied by a staff, a thick leather-bound book rested in hers, golden leaf flashing in the sunlight. Her robe cleared the gateway and the redhead nodded. The act seemed to cause the wall of light to shudder and collapse in upon itself as if it had never existed.

They both stepped to the edge, and the brown haired woman's peaceful serenity cracked slightly in favor of a frown. "Now Ranchan, you _know_ I don't like heights." There was no anger in the reprove, just a mild reminder of the fact. She could get over it though. All of Nerima stretched below them and it was a beautiful view.

"I know Kaschan…" The redhead smiled sheepishly. "I just wanted to gate in where I knew nobody would take notice of us." Ranma took in the expanse below her for herself. "Besides, I can't count how many times I came up her for some peace and quiet."

Kasumi had all but forgotten the height, agreeing with Ranma on that matter. One could easily appreciate that fact… Especially if one were a martial artist who used to have three fiancées, two scheming parents and too many rivals to count. "We might want to change into something a tad more appropriate before we step off your little foot-stool here."

Ranma blinked with mild confusion before her words finally caught up to the redhead. Oh yeah. What had been her standard girl-type fashion statement for the better part of two years now would probably tend to draw some attention to their person. Probably no more than leaping martial artists, giant pandas and flying Pheonix birds, but that was no reason to give the entire family a heart attack. She smiled as the image of her father's reaction to the robe played out in her mind.

"Ahem." Kasumi brought her attention back to reality with amusement in her voice. "We need to give them _some_ time to adjust."

The redhead smiled wider. Leave it to Kasumi to know exactly what she was thinking. Ranma blinked, and her clothes evaporated, replaced by a silken red Chinese shirt and black pants.

"The jewelry too, Ranchan." Kasumi pointed out with that same amused smile. Ranma grumbled and willed the jewelry from sight. Now only the staff remained and Kasumi knew better than to contest Ranma on _that _issue. It served as a magical focal, defense and most importantly, a fond memory. She too willed her apparel away in favor of a simple pink dress with elegant white frills. Like the staff, the rich leather bound tome remained firmly in her hand.

"Ready?"

Kasumi nodded, and they both stepped off the water tower's edge, floating gently to the ground.

* * *

_Akane Tendo spun stepped through another kata with vigor, the day's exertion evident as sweat dripped from her. It had been a month and a half since the disappearance of her sister with the baka pervert and she still worried. Sure, it had left her undisputed control of the kitchen and yeah, the note from Kasumi was a small comfort, but it simply wasn't like her to just up and disappear into the night, note or no. Ranma, sure. As much as she grumbled over the matter, she could easily see his point of view these days. The week following the disappearance was sheer chaos as one fiancée after another popped in to inquire- sometimes forcefully -on where their fiancé had run off to. It didn't help matters when they learned her older sister had skipped town, but at least it had been Kasumi, since nobody in their right mind would believe that Kasumi had a thing for Ranma or the fact that Ranma would take advantage of Kasumi. The Fiancées of Destruction were still suspicious as hell, but that pairing would have been the last thing on their minds._

In the end, the truth set them free. Ranma had gone off to learn new techniques, which was the truth. Kasumi had gone off to medical school, which again was the truth. What the family dared not tell a soul was that they had ran off together, to the same school to learn _magic_ of all things. The devil's in the details, Akane smiled internally, and set up for another kata. Dad was furious of course. It took nearly two weeks for demon head Soun to finally exhaust itself while Genma promised he'd boot his son so hard his grandkids would feel it. Suffice to say, the baka had quite a bit of explaining to do when he got home and her sister had better be-

"You've been practicing."

Akane froze mid strike. That voice. It was a girl, but that voice! She spun around and around found Ranma Saotome in his female form leaning against the back wall of the practice hall, grinning.

"RANMA, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" She stomped over to her, unsure whether she was going to lay the boy-girl out or just chew his ass off. Or both.

Her anger only caused the redhead's grin to increase. "I can't tell you how much I've missed that."

That stopped her immediately. The anger was still there, but the comment wasn't a jibe at her expense. It was pure honesty, and she knew Ranma well enough to know that for a fact. The anger stalled momentarily, she took stock of the girl in front of her. It was the same Ranma that had left her a month ago, yet something indefinable had changed. And the staff? For the first time she noticed a staff leaning against her body, rest in the crook of her collarbone. In fact, it looked like the old guy's staff if she remembered correctly. Did they give them out like candy or something? Enough curiosity had built up to stay her anger until she could formulate something close to probing questions. A tongue lashing wasn't nessisarily out of the question either.

"Did I hear you yell Ran-" Nabiki popped her head into the practice hall to find Ranma leaning against the wall and her little sister barely reigning in her anger. Nabiki recovered from her surprise rather quickly. "Ooh, a lot of people aren't going to be happy with the betting pool." Ranma shared her humor with a smile. "Most people weren't expecting you back for another month." She stepped into the dojo fully now. "So where you been, Soatome?"

Ranma affected a lazy shrug. "Magic school. Here and there, mostly."

"HEY!" Akane's rage fired back up once more. "I'm asking the questions here! Where's my sister!"

"Probably saying 'hi' to her parents." Akane missed the subtle twist in grammar but Nabiki did not and her grin instantly died, eyes narrowing sharply on Ranma.

"It would seem we have a lot to talk about, Saotome." Nabiki remarked flatly, but it did nothing to dent Ranma's spirts much to her surprise. The dyanamic has changed, she noted silently as the redhead pushed herself off the wall, walking past Akane to the doorway she stood in. That pointed observation didn't even produce a blush. That's a lot of change in a month and a half. The staff jiggled happily as it balanced lightly on the redhead's shoulder. Another oddity. I'm missing some serious information here, she decided.

'Ranma, I'm not done with you!" Akane charged, intending to forcefully stop the girl by gripping her shoulder. Or at least that had been the plan. Her hand slapped down and through her shoulder which promply faded from existence, causing Akane to stumble, flailing desperately to maintain her balance. Nabiki watched in shock as Ranma popped back into existence behind her sister. Freakin' magic school indeed. Ranma tipped the staff downward beside Akane so she could grip it and maintain her balance. As soon as the sister righted herself, she tipped the staff back to her shoulder. Akane couldn't believe it either and stared at Ranma with incredulity.

"But… you were just… Where…?" Akane was gibbering mess, anger forgotten for the moment.

"We are so gonna make money off that move, Saotome." Nabiki smiled evily, yen signs flashing in her eyes.

"I miss you too Nabiki, but no." Ranma's light smile never faded from her face as she walked around the still stunned Akane.

Nabiki blink. Wait. Did Ranma just say _no_? To _me_? That set her analytical brain into motion. Nobody bluffs me, least of all a martial arts jock named Ranma. "Oh, I think I can persuade you to help out."

Ranma paused beside her, never changing in tone or her expression. "Naw. Besides, I learned a little secret a few years back…" She let Nabiki hang with curiosity and gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, whispering, "Blackmail only works when your victim gives a damn."

* * *

_The redhead proceeded out of the practice hall, leaving two stunned sisters in her wake._

"Boy, you've got a lot of explaining to do."

Genma Saotome looked at the girl in front of him with seething irritation. To his left stood his wife Nadoka Saotome and his right, Soun Tendo. The Boy- or girl as the case was -had disappeared for a month and a half to go learn magic tricks, of all things. That was the last thing the heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts should be doing, let alone departing with his fiancée's sister in the middle of the night.

"Quite right, old friend." Soun rebuked sternly, eyeing his future son-in-law. "Highly improper behavior."

"Indeed." Nodoka chimed in, but with a twinkle in her eye. "You should have taken Akane with you too." The pair at her side faceplanted into the floor as she lost herself in visions of her manly son seducing two Tendos.

"Not like I wanted to go with the baka in the first place!" Akane retorted from behind Ranma, watching the scene from the edge of the living room with her sisters Nabiki and Kasumi. The middle sister stared at Kasumi with piercing interest. Like Saotome, she had been gone for forty-five days and returned with an indefinable something. And like the pigtail boy, seemed to have an artifact in her possession at all times. For him it was that odd ringed staff. For her, it was the rich leather bound book.

Ranma's father swifty recovered from his wife's words and continued. "…Not to mention you're still prancing around like a girl with that stick." He paused momentarily. "We're awaiting, Boy."

Kasumi stiffened at the mention of 'the stick' and she quietly prayed that the elder Saotome wouldn't push that particular button too many more times. The slight but audible intake of breath didn't go unnoticed by the middle sister. Nabiki was definitely going to be pumping her sister for information tonight.

"Easy, Pops." Ranma smiled, brushing past the parent's misgivings. "It was a training trip to fix my Ki pathways." Well, more than a training trip, she amended silently, mirroring Kasumi's thoughts exactly as if he could have heard them.

"And what of my daughter?" Soun menaced, threatening to burst into a demon head at any moment.

"Invited by Sensei." Ranma replied easily. "I just told her I was going."

The answer seemed to mollify the parent for the moment, but his own father continued to probe the matter further. "We told you not to leave without our permission, Boy." This gained nods from the two remaining parents.

"Come on, Pops," Ranma started with a hint of dejection. "If you had a potential cure in your grasp, would you wait for permission to go get it?"

Genma opened his mouth, then closed it, looking at the girl in front of him. A moment passed and he asked, "Well… did you?"

Now Ranma smiled. "Kas-chan and I are workin' on it."

Even as Nabiki's poker face slipped, she watched Nodoka's eyes shine brightly. The Saotome matriarch just heard what I did, she thought. Both sets of eyes were instantly on Kasumi even if Genma, Soun and Akane sat blissfully unaware. Kasumi simply smiled her peaceful smile, but both women recognized the term of endearment the moment it had left his lips, and it certainly hadn't been one uttered by him before.

"Hmmf!" Genma snorted, staring down his son. Gone for forty-five days and the only thing he had to show for it was a jingling staff. Pathetic. Speaking of the staff… "Yield the stick, Boy. There's no place for weapons in The Art!"

"Mr. Saotome, I don't think that…" Kasumi stepped forward to warn Ranma's father, but was ignored as his hand shot out to grasp the length of the staff. Genma's hand locked around the shaft and tried to pull it back, meeting with resistance. Ranma's smile vanished instantly.

"I said _let go_, boy!" Genma pulled harder, failing to notice his son's blue eyes glowing now.

Another tug and Ranma's patience broke violently. "Back off, Old man!" Ranma pulled the staff back suddenly, and Genma with it, over extending the father's center of gravity. She gave the shaft a hard slap with her free hand that sent it twirling clockwise, its rings singing the entire time. Already off balance, the father began to flip as well and Ranma extended out left, sending him flying into the living room wall with considerable force. The glow in her eyes softened momentarily and she held up two fingers, whispering a something intelligible. Genma's ki poured through his body as it reflexively braced him for an impact that never came. He opened his eyes and blinked, finding himself upside-down, suspended four feet in the air and inches removed from the wall itself. The entire family stared in shock, save Kasumii, who simple sighed.

Ranma walked over to his father. "Get this through your head right now Ol' man," She fumed. While the majority of her heat was directed at her father, the proclamation obvious went for everybody in the room. "There are only three people who can even _touch_ this thing. One of em's dead and you're not the other."

The glow faded from Ranma's eyes and she took a deep breath to calm herself and the action seemed to disrupt whatever was holding her father in the air. With no warning, he fell to the wooden floor with a painful "oof!" She continued is a calmer voice. "If I didn't go for the training, I'd be dog meat, Pops. You know what I face. I'd be screwed in a battle without my ki."

The father stared at his boy from a painful upside down position on the floor while Soun broke the silence. "No worries, Son! You've only been looking for a month and a half. Something is bound to-"

"We've been looking for nearly _twelve years_." Ranma's tone dropped to sub zero temperatures. Her shoulders slumped with fatigue and she padded up the stairs silently, save the ever-present jingle of her staff.

Every eye was riveted on him until he turned the corner. Once out of sight, they all snapped to onto Kasumi.

"Oh my." She murmmered, suddenly the center of attention. "Ranma-kun is right though. The Jyusenkyou curse is saturated with death magic. It has been extremely… resilient to our attempts to break it."

Nabiki couldn't hold her silence any longer. She arched a skeptical eyebrow. "Twelve _years?_"

Kasumi sighed. The questions would only get tougher from here on out. "For all of you, only a month and a half has passed. For us…" Kasumi paused, looking into the eyes of each family member carefully, "Nearly twelve years have passed. For Ranma, that mean she is an accomplished mage. For myself it means that I have become skilled in the healing arts." Kasumi made her way to the stairs herself. "Please realize in your dealings with Ranma-kun that all of your information on him- and her -is quite out of date." Not to mention myself, she added mentally, turning on them without another word for the stairs and her room.

* * *

_Nabiki stewed in her room, unable to focus on her homework. She pushed away from her desk and paced the room, mind running furiously in circles. __Twelve years?_ It was absolutely unbelievable coming from Ranma's mouth, but Kasumi never lies. Ever. If she said they had been gone for twelve years then they had somehow been gone that long …But the implications. And the clues. She didn't have all the information yet, but what she did have was leading- albeit vaguely -to a very disturbing conclusion. First, the dojo. Explaining things to _their_parents. Daddy didn't exactly rate a plural all by himself. Second, their familiarity, as in the fact that Ranma had no problems violating what she normally perceived as Kasumi's personal space or confiding in her. Next was her own sister's subtle reactions to the parental confrontation and finally, her defense of Ranma in that meeting.

The middle Tendo dissected these facts carefully. On one level they were behaving as very good friends would to one another, almost best friends. That alone was a disturbing change from the last time she saw the two. But the hints… The hints themselves were pushing her to a more startling conclusion. Which of course, was impossible. Kasumi had Tofu. Ranma had Akane. And a curse for that matter. _And_ fiancées in waiting. _Twelve years is a long time to get to know one another…_ A voice from the back of her head whispered. But it was Kasumi! Ranma! _They're only three years apart in age,_ it countered her objections. But… But… Ranma was a barely a man!_ Twelve years ago._ The whisper reminded her. Jeez, that would make him older than me now! But they didn't look any younger whatsoever!

Nibiki's attention snapped back into the real world. Time to get some answers. She stepped out into the hall and found Kasumi's room, twisting the handle. Traditionally, there had been no real privacy between the trio, so it was understandable that when the door swung open Nabiki's entire world shattered.

Kasumi. Arms. Legs. _Entwined_. Around Ranma's marvelous male physic. The rhythmic movement and soft caresses on her bed ground to a halt as their heads snapped to the doorway, the couple's eyes locked onto Nabiki. Part of her was thankful that a thin sheet covered the lower half of the obviously nude partners while the other half of her just wanted to _see_. _Well there's your answer,_ the voice in the back of her head mused. _And you didn't even have to ask the question._

Something close to a coherent though began to form in her mind when another door clicked off to her left. "Oh, you're talking to Kasumi… too?" The words died on Akane's lips as she stepped up to the doorway with Nabiki. Her eyes widened and her mind stopped receiving input. Ranma… Her fiancé… Kasumi….! Whereas Nabiki couldn't tear her eyes away from the couple, the reality circuit breaker in a Akane's brain slammed down hard and she simply proceeded down the stairs. Less than ten seconds later a piercing howl echoed through the dojo.

_"EEEEIiiIiAAAAAaaAHHH!"_

A door slammed somewhere downstairs And Ranma's head dropped in defeat. Kasumi closed her eyes shaking hers in disappointment.

Nabiki took a deep breath. "I'll give you two a moment." Her gaze narrowed on the couple. "You have _so_ much explaining to do."

She didn't know the half of it.

* * *

_Ten minutes later, the two separated, clothed and went to find their respective sources of angst. Kasumi sat down on Nabiki's bed, smoothing her nightgown out while her sister's gaze bored into her. She couldn't wait to her this one._

"Oh my…" It was less of a statement and more a resigned sigh. Amazing how two simple words could be bent to form so many emotions, Nabiki through wryly. "I have no idea where to begin."

Nabiki did. "Let's just start with the part where you began shacking up with Saotome and take it from there."

Kasumi winced, but they had been prepared for this eventuality. Granted they had both hoped to explain everything under calmer, more controlled circumstances, but…

"Ok then," Kasumi decided. "Seven years ago."

The middle Tendo choked. "You've been… With him…_ For seven YEARS?_"

"And her." Kasumi smiled mischievously, something she Nabiki hadn't seen since their childhood. The comment did nothing to hold her sister's choking, but she could let Nabiki just interrogate her and not have any fun.

Nabiki eyed her sister wearily. Obvious Ranma wasn't the only dynamic to change here. Ranma and Kasumi. Ranma-chan and Kasumi, for that matter! And she obviously had no problems admitting the latter either. Kasumi, the happy hentai homemaker. Nabiki's mind boggled.

"Dare I even ask why?"

Kasumi nodded. "Some of the tasks Ranchan's Sensei sent him on were …_arduous_. I had taken to following him around as much for mutual company as to make sure he stayed out of trouble." She looked directly at Nabiki with a smile. "Of course, you know Ranchan and trouble."

"As in he's a magnet." Nabiki supplied and Kasumi nodded once more.

"That particular errand for Sakkarin-sensei ended up lasting two years on the Sha-Ni Plane." The sister watched as Kasumi's eyes clouded darkly. "It wasn't a very pleasant world to put it mildly."

Nabiki considered choking once more, but settled for a hacking cough instead. Wa- _World?_"

Kasumi's eye's brightened. "Of course! You don't think we stayed on Earth for the last twelve years now did you?"

Nabiki gaped. "Forty-five days, Sis! Count em. That's how long you've been gone to us."

The smile faded. "Yes it is easy to forget sometimes." She continued, "Anyway, we spent the next two years fighting for our lives, though it was Ranma who took the brunt of keeping us alive. Not simply kept us alive but sacrificed to keep us alive." Kasumi saw the question in her sister's eyes. "Ranma's male form is barren to magic and crippled to ki because of the curse, so he stayed in his female form for nearly the entire time to protect us both."

"So female Ranma can perform magic but male Ranma can't?" Nabiki thought she grasped the problem.

"Exactly." Kasumi confirmed. "And since he can't use ki in either form, his skill in the martial arts- while still exceptional -was nowhere near the level of what we faced on a day basis. So instead he would use offensive magic and I would keep him spell healed and summon as backup."

Nabiki blinked. Did she even want to ask? "Summon… what, exactly?"

"Oh, elementals, undead, giant spiders… maybe a demon or two but they can be testy at times." She replied casually. And the scary thing was she meant it casually too. "Well by the time we returned home, we had become an inseparable… and..."

Nabiki sighed. "Nature took its course." Kasumi let the silence speak for itself. "You have _no_ idea how many betting pools you just ruined. So I take it since you share the same bed you're also…"

"Happily married."

She couldn't suppress the sharp intake of breath. That is going to take some getting used to hearing, Nabiki realized. Ranma was now totally off limits to any and all fiancées. "God, this is going to become a nightmare once it gets out."

Kasumi's next words sent shivers down Nabiki's spine. "I've lived through nightmares. They'll either accept my claim or they'll be… disciplined." The finality of that statement was stunning and Nabiki no longer had any doubt that she could back that claim up fully and completely. The eldest Tendo looked directly at Nabiki now, dangerous storms flickering in her eyes. "And I almost can't wait until the Amazon's try to force Ranma's hand. They'll find he has become a _very_ changed person."

* * *

___ "SEVEN YEARS?"_

That was Akane. And Soun Tendo. And Genma Saotome. And Nadoka. Akane's piercing scream had woken everybody up and the entire family had now cornered Ranma in the family room as she related the same basic tale to her audience. The parents had taken the news surprising well, but that was to be expected. When it came right down to it, Kasumi and Ranma had predicted their responses with startling clarity, i.e., one Tendo girl was ultimately as good as another. The two fathers straddled the middle ground in their feelings on the matter. They didn't want to see Akane hurt, but the Dojo's future was positively secure, as was their retirement. Mother and Akane were on totally opposite ends of that spectrum, however. Nadoka was positively delighted as there was no longer any question of_ if_ there would be grandbabies, but _when_. Her son was without a doubt a manly man.

Akane on the other hand was an anti-matter mixture of crushing depression and betrayal and the bright blue aura flickering around her was the clearest indication of that. Sure it had been a rocky relationship and it had been slowly getting better, but to instantly go from THE fiancée to castaway without warning was indescribably crushing, and both Kasumi and Ranma had been dreading this very moment for seven years.

Ranma looked down at the floor now and it was as if his solid frame visibly shrank. "We… We've been together… For twelve years. Training. Fighting. Hopping from world to world knowing nobody else. Trusting nobody else. For most of that twelve years I've only had two people I could rely on. And that's Sakkarin-sensei and Kas-chan."

"_Worlds?_" His father looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. The remaining three were likewise, save Akane who still radiated disgust

"Yeah, worlds." He looked up meekly at the family, Akane's aura flickering but somewhat diminished. "Some of them were beautiful… The Plane of Azeroth… Arcadia… Faerûn … But some were nothing short of hell." The meekness disappeared and fire began to burn in his eyes. "Those places made me sorry I ever bitched about your training trips Pops, and in those places I had exactly one person I could rely on no matter what."

"But… Us…!" Akane's aura had all but faded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Three years together, Ranma!" She screamed at him plantiffly.

"Dammit Akane! I tried! WE tried! _For five years_ we tried!" Ranma said, frustration creeping into his voice. "Neither one of us thought it'd be proper! Hell, half the time I think the old fool sent us on errands just for match making purposes!" There was annoyance in that last part, but everybody before him noted the affection he named the old fool with. Ranma clutched the staff that had followed him everywhere for the last four years.

"But that all changed after Sha-Ni." Ranma shook his head and the edge of steel crept across his features. "Two solid years of constant life and death struggle all because of my damn quest for a cure. I can't tell you how many times I almost lost your sister and frankly I don't give a damn if I ever find one after that."

The entire downstairs family reeled. Never once had Ranma even come close to giving up his dreams of being one hundred percent male and right here and now they had just heard the impossible. Even Akane's smoldering resentment and betrayal was checked by the shocking admission.

"I dunno… Maybe someday." Ranma admitted, but an aura of gloom and haunted memories hung around him. "But I got my priorities strait on that place…"

"So I'm nothing to you now…!" Akane's voice cracked and the tears continued.

And now came the moment Ranma had dreaded for so long. "You're a friend. A best friend… But the engagements are over. For everybody."

The hand came in across his right cheek and Ranma did nothing to avoid the stinging slap. "I don't think I can take a friend like_ you._"

With a final tearful glare, Akane had gone to lock herself in her room.

* * *

_Sunlight crawled through the windows and Nadoka Saotome stepped softly out of the guest room that she shared with her husband. Even as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, a delightful smell tickled her nose. Food. Breakfast. And by the smell of it, a __good_breakfast, which shouldn't have been possible. With Kasumi gone, Akane had tried to take over the kitchen with disastrous results. The family still wasn't sure what she had served that night so many weeks ago, but the moment it slithered off their plates, the youngest Tendo was relieved of her command in a most expeditious manner. Nadoka stepped in to take over the kitchening duties and it had run smoothly ever since, which brought her to the dilemma at hand. Akane couldn't cook. She had just woken up. Nabiki never stepped foot in the kitchen, so who could possibly be fixing such a delightful aroma?

Nodoka padded down stairs and saw Ranma outside through the window practicing his katas. She sighed, heartened her to know that he wasn't slacking off on his manly practice. Nadoka stared at her son a moment longer before seeking out the kitchen and the only person who could possibly divine such a breakfast aroma. _Ranma's wife!_ While she would have never outright admitted the fact out loud, she was secretly glad that Akane had been disqualified, however rude the surprise may have been. She was a good girl, but she had a long way to go before she would be worthy of a manly man herself and it had been all she could do to keep the ex-fiancée from destroying the kitchen entirely. Nabiki wasn't much better when it came right down to it. Of course she had a head on her shoulders and was attractive, but trust in that one was sorely lacking. Maybe given time, she could amount to a womanly woman but fate had conspired against both the younger daughters. Of all the Tendos, only Kasumi came close to her the womanly ideal for her son. Now if she could be persuaded to take up some combat training, she would be perfect. Maybe even the katana, Nadoka smiled to herself. I could teach her while the grandchildren run around…

Nadoka pushed open the kitchen door and her pleasant daydreams were rudely interrupted by the impossible sight playing out in front of her: In the middle of the kitchen fixing breakfast was indeed Kasumi Saotome, but standing in a whirlwind of controlled chaos. Bowls floated. Spoons mixed. Knives sliced through the air. And Ranma's wife stood in the middle of it all humming a tune with a peaceful smile, as if she were conducting an orchestra. Being a womanly woman herself, Nadoka wasn't one prone to fainting spells though what she was now witnessing severely taxed that ability.

"Oh my…" Kasumi noticed her visitor and the state of shock she was in. She walked through the busy cloud of floating kitchen implements and gently took her mother in-law by the arm, leading her out of the kitchen and closed the door. "Take a deep breath Mrs Saotome… It's ok…"

Nadoka did take a deep breath and her grip on sanity was helped in no small part by Kasumi's calm demeanor. It took a few moments for a coherent thought to tumble from her brain to her mouth. "Ah… Is it okay to leave… Um,_ that_ going on in there without you?"

"Oh most definitely." Kasumi replied happily. "Most of those are enchantments. They'd continue to work even if I fell asleep." Nadoka blinked, still trying to wrap her head around the concept. "Now the omelets I pay special attention to." She smiled mischievously.

Nadoka shook her head, sitting at the table. "Do you always cook like… _That?_"

Her daughter in-law shrugged. "Mostly, but it's always good to get your hands dirty once in a while." Then she cocked her head curiously. "Of course, it has been a while since I've cooked in a proper kitchen too."

Ranma's mother nodded dumbly, still trying to take it in. In lieu of anything that made sense, she decided to latch on to something she could make sense of.

"So when can I expect grandchildren?"

* * *

_"Come on Boy! Let's see what you learned!" Ranma halted his kata and turned around to find his father and a smug look plastered across his face. The pig-tailed boy smiled right back and gave the staff in his grip a graceful twirl, sending its rings singing. Genma frowned. "Without the stick, boy."_

Ranma sighed. He just wasn't going to let good enough alone. "Kas-chan?" Kasumi poked her head out the patio door. "Could you watch Sakkarin for a moment?" She smiled and took possession of the staff.

"I thought only two other people could touch the stick…?" Genma eyed him suspiciously and watched Kasumi ducked back into the house.

"Yep. I'm one and your daughter in-law is the other." Ranma stated matter-of-factly.

Genma bit back a sharp retort. That whole daughter in-law thing out of the blue is going to take some getting used to, he thought as he stared at his son taking up a an unusual battle stance. His body was facing him edge on to present a minimal attack aspect while the right arm arched gracefully outward, the left curled around in a hook. Whatever that was, it sure as hell wasn't a standard Anything Goes technique, he observed and took up his own battle stance.

Ranma watched his father take up a dragon stance. Before the two had parted company last, he was able to beat his father a solid eight out of ten times, assuming ol' Pops didn't outright cheat. Now he was facing him for the first time without the ability draw on ki or even a weapon to even the odds. Ki did a lot for the martial artist. It acted in offense and defense, softening and deflecting blows that would otherwise break bone while enhancing muscle power and reaction times. High ki users were even able to mold that power into a variety of hand to hand and ranged attacks …Much like I used to be able to, Ranma thought with some regret. Any damage I do today would be on my physical merits alone. Likewise any damage I take. But that's what the Dancing Leaf school specializes in, Ranma smiled. It will make for a good opener.

The two engaged simultaneously, Genma leaping into a high arcing tumble that brought him down into his son, who was already sliding right to avoid the hard kick and the numerous combinations the attack would open up. The Dancing Leaf was an art of minimal contact, maximum damage that he had picked up on the Plane of Hyrule. Ranma darted in and tapped his father forcefully, sending his airborne attack out of control and spinning into the ground violently. The style also emphasized the subtle magnification against an enemy's own attack against it, and Genma found that out the hard way as he augured in with a pillar of dust and rubble. Ranma didn't wait. He switched stances and rushed into the cloud, finding Genma easily despite the lack of visibility. The Jyuuken School was next and tagged several key points along his father's body. While he didn't necessarily have the gifts that could put the school to its full use, the pigtailed boy targeted the major ki points, reducing the flow through them. It wasn't the decisive shutdown a true Jyuuken master could achieve due to his handicap, but the attack would help even the odds in the long run.

Ranma jumped back just as a roundhouse kick blew by his head and Genma re-engaged with vigor. The attacks were coming faster now and Ranma struggled to keep from being decisively engaged. His father feinted and reversed with a punch that landed his ribcage at full power. Ranma rolled away, favoring his side. It was days like these he missed the ki buffering he had come to rely on so many years ago.

"You're getting soft, Boy!" Genma leered. "I haven't even dipped into the clan special techniques yet!" Despite his bravdo, Genma was getting concerned. The boy may not be able to use ki, but he had more fighting styles than you could shake a stick out now and that punch should have hit with substantially more power.

"You just go ahead and try those techniques, Pops. But I gotta warn ya," Ranma affected lopsided grin, "you'll get hurt when you do!"

Genma ground his teeth at the challenge and watched Ranma slide into yet another attack stance he had never seen before. Fine. Time to put the boy to bed and go get breakfast. Genma charged in and initiated the Umi Sen Ken, abruptly fading from sight. Even as he cloaked, Genma knew something was wrong. His ki was being restricted? Ranma saw a faded ghost of his father and initiated the Coup de Vitesse school on the shocked old man, abandoning his usual defensive measures for a brutal and crushing offense. There was no elegance in the favored style of the Sphynxian Plane and Ranma opened Genma's guard like a can opener, landing several punishing kicks and an uppercut even as the father realized his technique had been breached. His ki buffering was also limited thanks to the Jyuuken school of attacks and he took the damage, yet it still wasn't enough. The father spun off, breaking contact and retook the offensive. His ki output may have been limited, but the speed it provided was sufficient to do the job as he landed two more punches to Ranma's gut before grabbing him by the shirt and flipping him into the koi pond with a splash.

A female Ranma sputtered to the surface, spitting out pond water, but instead of the usual cursing Genma expect to hear, she broke the surface with a wild grin.

"Damn, just like old times!"

Genma limped over to the ponds edge and did something most un-father like-gave Ranma a hand out of the pond. He eyed the smiling girl warily "What the hell's happened to you, Boy? You got some good hits in, but…"

"Yeah, but not enough power." Ranma shrugged, already used to the fact after twelve years of hand-to-hand combat experience without ki. "That's why I slapped the ki points on you in the opening moves, Pops. You got too big an advantage in offense and defense for me to fight normally."

Genma stared with sympathy. "That bad?"

"Hell yeah." Ranma admitted openly. "Think of all the crap I can't unleash without ki… Chestnut fist, the Dragon, my Moko Takabisha, the Umi Sen Ken, the Haku Dato Shin Sho…" Ranma simply shook her head. "That's half the Anything Goes School heavy offense right there, not even counting the fact that your attacks land with full force without ki shielding." Genma winced, only now realizing until just now how bad it actually was. "Now Kas-chan could probably hold her own against you, but it took me three schools of combat just to give you a bruising."

Genma nodded, but froze suddenly. "Kaschan…? _KASUMI!_" Ranma's father did double take as he realized just who his son, the redheaded girl was talking about. "We are talking _our _Kasumi, right?"

"Sure. We've only had ten years to polish her skills." Ranma remarked casually and headed back to the house. "Taught her everything I know and every style you just saw me use here… And unlike me, she can use her ki, even if she doesn't have the raw capacity we have …Or _had _in my case."

Genma had a pensive look about his face as he watched Ranma. He had just come to a sobering realization. "Kinda hard to take over the dojo if you can't master the art, Son."

"Aw, don't worry about it, Pops. I've had some time to think this over." Ranma brushed his concern aside. "I can still teach everything we use in Anything Goes and Kaschan can spot on some of the higher ki techniques." The father was still worried. " 'Cides, I would have kicked your butt if you've let me fight with Sakkarin." Even as he said the name, Ranma held out her hand and the staff materialized in midair, dropping into her waiting hand with a jingle.

"Neat trick." Genma remarked testily. "But you can't rely on a weapon, Boy."

Ranma stopped short of the patio door. "You're right, Pops. That's why we learned how to do this…" Ranma held out his free hand and quickly formed a series of complex signs. Her eyes glowed ever so slighty. The koi pond rippled and a glob of water the size of a baseball separated from the surface, floating up and over to the pair. The orb rippled lazily above her palm and Genma stared at it with incredulity. She extended her hand suddenly and the glob of water shot across the dojo property, obliterating Akane's pile of anger management bricks with a loud crash. When the dust cleared, only scattered debris remained.

Genma Saotome gaped, his estimation of magic usage suddenly increasing. "Well why the hell didn't you use that on me earlier, Boy!"

'Was a guy." Ranma admitted. "Boy-type can't use magic, and God knows I've tried."

"No ki or magic?" His father just shook his head in sympathy. "Cryin' out loud…"

"That's what I've been tryin' ta tell ya, Pops."

* * *

_**Author's Notes**  
__ Having fun with this chapter dropping hints at just how extensive Ranma and Kasumi's training has been and the family just now realizing how much change has occured. Hope you're enjoying it so far, and if you can guess guess all of the obscure references littered throughout this chapter without looking at the notes below, you have my sympathies ;)_

**Azeroth; **_The World of Warcraft._  
**Arcadia;** _The World of Skies of Arcadia_  
**Faerûn; **_The World of Forgotten Realms_  
**Hyrule;** _The World of Zelda_

**Jyuuken;** _A fight style that emphasizes precision lethal strikes to disrupt the chakra (for our purposes, ki) flow throughout the body. Only members of the Hyuuga Clan have been known to use this style to its fullest potential due to their unique ability to "see" chakra/ki flow throughout any living organisim. _Reference anime Naruto.

**Coup de vitesse; **_Coup de vitesse is a fusion of several western and oriental martial arts, developed primarily as a hard style where emphasis is placed on offense sometimes at the expense of defense, resulting in a very brutal and effective style. Coup de vitesse lacks the elegance of judo or aikido. It is an offensive hard style that borrows from every martial art, from savate to t'ai chi, and distills them all down into sheer brutality. _Reference David Weber's Honor Harrington series.

**Dancing Leaf;** _An Art of minimal contact, maximum damage. The style also emphasized the subtle magnification of an enemy's own attack through redirection. I made this up._

**Ki;** _Though it's never been explained in-depth in the series, I attribute ki as playing the same roll as chakra does in Naruto… It powers nearly every super human ability Ranma performs, from augmenting rooftop hopping to allowing a body to utilize advanced combat techniques, such as the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. Without the ability to properly utilize this ki, Ranma is limited to standard combat forms. While many are still lethal, a skilled ki using opponent of equal skill will have a substantial edge in movement, offensive and defensive techniques over a skilled non-ki user._

* * *

**Fiancées of Destruction**

**Part Three**

**N**odoka watched in amazement as dishes floated out of the kitchen, setting themselves onto the table in orderly precision. The aroma had begun to awaken the other family members and Nabiki found herself staring at the unusual sight as well. She _had_ to find a way to make money off that! Behind her was Akane who was still smoldering from last night's revelation, but even that was checked by the sight in front of her. The only one who seemed oblivious to the matter was Kasumi, who was intent on watching father and son- or daughter as the case now was –talking outside.

It was really, _really_ hard to get mad at her older sister Akane was finding, but she was working up to it. Part of the problem was that Kasumi was the oldest sister after all, and if push came to shove, could have claimed Ranma at any point during their engagement. _Did_ claim Ranma, she corrected herself. The second biggest hurdle to stoking that bonfire of resentment toward the sister was that she was genuinely sweet, nice and well meaning. Even though she had imminent domain concerning the engagement, nobody believed she would actually _take_ that option. But she had and it left Akane out in the cold. The thought threw a bit more fuel into the furnace. From fiancée to nothing in forty-five days without a single clue, and Akane was beginning to wonder if they had been fooling around before that. Yes, that had to be it! Besides, when has Ranma ever shown restraint? Probably been fooling around for _months_ before the incident and ducked out just to consummate the affair! _But it's Kasumi, you idiot_, a voice rang in her mind. _She's not capable of that level of duplicity!_ True, Akane thought. So there had to be another reason. Then Ranma must have taken advantage of her sweet nature and—

"Coming to breakfast, Akane?" The gentle voice called to her and she snapped out of her introspective. The entire family had already seated themselves and was digging in, save Kasumi, who had a concerned look to her face.

Everybody focused on Akane with those words, cutting off any strategic withdraw she had in mind. The youngest Tendo forced a smile. Fine then. No surrender, no retreat. Even as she made her way to the table, another cold, hard spike was driven through her: The spot normally reserved for her by Ranma was now occupied by Kasumi herself. _Of course,_ Akane thought irritably, kicking another log into the mental pyre.

"So what's with the book, Sis?" Nabiki asked, motioning to the ever-present book on Kasumi's person. It now sat in her lap even as they ate breakfast and curiosity finally got the better of Nabiki.

Kasumi paused, considering the answer that would best relate to her audience. "It's my medical encyclopedia." She smiled. "It's a storehouse of every medical condition known to exist across seventy two planes of existence and nearly as many remedies to those conditions. Disease, curses, spells and the like."

Nabiki's eyes flashed with greed. Medical information _and_ cures from seventy-two planes of existence! What medical specialist would sell their _soul _for that book, let alone part with vast sums of money for it? "Um, just where might a person _acquire_ a copy?"

It was all Kasumi could do to not to giggle at the lunacy of what her sister was suggesting while Ranma choked on her food outright. "Well, first you would have to journey to Candlekeep on the Plane of Faerûn and obtain Masteries in Alchemy, First Aid, Herbalism and Spell Healing under Lady Galadriel-sensei's tutorage. Only upon your graduation do you receive The Book."

Nabiki simply stared.

"She's actually being modest. Kasumi was named a High Cleric of the Radiant Order just over two years ago." Ranma remarked and the eldest sister blushed slightly. "Not to mention the fact that she holds Artesian ranks in every one of those fields and has been personally anointed by the Goddess Belldandy herself."

Nabiki shook her head as if to clear it, digesting all of the impossible information. "Um, okay… Maybe I could, um, borrow it?"

"Of course!" Kasumi replied cheerfully and passed the ancient tome to Nabiki.

It only took a few turns of the pages for Nabiki to realize why a mischievous grin stuck to her sister's face. "What the…? It's written in gibberish."

"High Elven." Kasumi corrected. "And even then, it's heavily enchanted so only the owner can read it."

She passed the book back to her older sister with irritation. If she didn't know any better, she'd think that Kasumi had gained a sense of humor somewhere in her travels. Meanwhile Nodoka beamed with delight from across the table. She hadn't understood half of the qualifications her new daughter in-law held, but everything she had hoped for since the birth of her son was finally falling into place. Ranma was without a doubt a Man Among Men, caught in the act of servicing his wife, who was indeed shaping up to become a Woman Among Women. Blessed by a Goddess and pregnant no less! The part about 'holding the embryos in stasis until they settled down' went right over her head, but the mention of _twins_ did not. Nodoka fidgeted happily and suddenly produced victory fans from out of nowhere. The rest of the family simply looked at her as giant sweat drops rolled down the sides of their heads.

Soun Tendo took another bite of his breakfast looked at Ranma. "You've been gone for twelve years did you say?" She nodded. "So why don't you _look_ any older?"

"Well, a lot of our training took us to out of the way places and our method of travel isn't exactly convenient." Ranma explained. "Some gates to other worlds rotate hourly while others rotate over years, so Sakkarin-sensei took the measure of drastically slowing down our biological clocks with a few spells."

"Slowed down?" Nabiki questioned precisely. "_How_ slowed down?"

Ranma looked at Kasumi. "Ten to one?"

"Twenty to one." She corrected her husband.

Close enough, Ranma thought. "Twenty years of real time to one year of physical age."

Nabiki did a quick number crunch and twitched violently. "_That's a lifespan of over a thousand five hundred years!_"

The pigtailed girl shrugged. "Hadn't actually thought about the math before."

Now Nabiki was getting frustrated. Not only was the cure to every aliment across seventy-two worlds less than three feet from her person, but the secret to near eternal youth was right in the same room with it! "You _do_ realize you're driving me nuts, right Saotome?"

Ranma smiled with delight. "_Yeeeaaah_." Kasumi couldn't help but to giggle now. The tormenting smile faded into an easy grin. "Tell you what… We have a deal for you."

"A deal?"

Kasumi nodded, pulling out a small suede pouch. It was purple with a silver strand drawstring tied to keep the contents from spilling out. Ranma continued, "Yep. If you can stop cheating, extorting and blackmailing people, you get what's in the bag."

Nabiki's eyes flicked from one smiling Ranma to one smiling Kasumi, then back. "What's in the bag?"

"Can't tell ya." Ranma's smile widened.

"It's a surprise." Kasumi added pleasantly.

Nabiki's gaze narrowed on them. "That's not a very good deal. Or safe, for that matter. We're talking the dojo's primary source of income." The couple simply nodded and the rest of the family watched with fascination. Nabiki? Give up Blackmail? Impossible.

'Entrapment' was the first word that came to her mind as she weighed her options. There were several considerations to be taken into account… First, both knew that the games she played were the dojo's sole income. Granted, she enjoyed those games to a certain extent, but they had been born out of necessity first. The second consideration was Ranma, and he was a big one. The last three years hadn't exactly seen any love lost between the two as he had been her primary source of income. Fortunately, he wasn't one to hold too big of a grudge, but she couldn't discount the possibility of revenge entirely. Kasumi counter-balanced that concern however. She wouldn't take revenge on her sister and if she were married to Ranma, most likely wouldn't let him either. She was good with guilt trips like that and something told Nabiki that her sister was extremely adept at managing her husband's ego.

So if they knew they were cutting off my income and her sister probably had her best interest at heart, the logical conclusion would be that whatever was in the bag would somehow compensate her for the loss. Nabiki ran through the facts a couple more times before deciding that stepping out on faith was probably the best option. Not her favorite option by any stretch, but probably the best one.

"Ok. Agreed. I'll take the bag."

"No blackmail, extortion or related activities?" Ranma asked once more just to be sure. "If we find you cheat, your present will go up in smoke. Literally."

Nabiki sighed. "I promise." Kasumi handed her sister the pouch, and she eagerly dug into it, finding _jems_. Jems of every size, shape and color imaginable. She held a large ruby up to the sunlight and gazed at its flawless beauty. I don't even want to _guess_ how many carets the stone had, she thought and continued to pour the stones into her hand. Black diamonds. Luminous pearls. She rolled another stone around in her fingers and it refracted light in every color of the rainbow through its blood red core. God only knows what that is, she wondered and set it back down into the pile.

"Buying yourself back into our good graces won't work, two-timing pervert!" Akane spat even as she stared at the fortune in front of her sister. Nabiki looked at her as if she had spoken sacrilege.

"Akane… Just shut up." The entire family's jaw dropped with Nabiki's words and the youngest sister was reeled. She let stones pour through her fingers. "We just went from broke to fabulously rich, so don't screw it up for the rest of us, okay Sis?" Then she turned back to Kasumi and Ranma. "What if I would have said no?"

"Then we just would have had to tease you one stone at a time." Kasumi smiled.

Ranma leaned over the table now also grinning. "Consider your ban on blackmailing my revenge."

"Ha!" Nabiki laughed loudly. "Then you need to take vengeance on me more often!"

Akane's fist slammed down hard on the table, causing the dishes to hop. "What is wrong with you people! That hentai Casanova seduced my sister and you're all fine with it? He's a foul sorcerer and if you have an common sense you'll kick him out on the streets!"

Kasumi frowned. "Please don't talk that way about my husband, Sister."

Akane stood up suddenly with a look of panic in her eyes. "Don't worry, Kasumi! I'll help you break his lecherous hold on you!" She blasted Ranma with one last glare and stomped out of the house for parts unknown.

Nabiki watched her as the door slammed shut behind Akane. "Is it just me or did she sound a lot like Kuno-baby?"

* * *

**G**enma stopped his son and his wife at the foot of the front gate. "You're not taking off for another twelve years are you, Boy?"

It almost sounded like concern, Ranma noted and shook her head. "Nah. Just going out to tie up some loose ends." Genma nodded, then watched in horror as her clothes were replaced with the slightest wave of her hand. Her silk chinese shirt and pants had just been replaced by a light yellow midrift and tight bluejeans. Not only was it _not_ conservative, but it was accompanied by jewelry; a sharp departure from the Ranma that had left them a month and a half ago. She tipped the staff back over her shoulder while Kasumi simply remained in her own dress, content with her current fashion.

"You can't seriously be thinking of going out like that?" His father gasped, looking around wildly to see if anybody saw them. His boy was now a girl and feminine. Very feminine.

"Sure, why not?" Ranma shrugged. Of course she knew exactly what the problem was and she just couldn't help but to enjoy watching the father squirm.

"I know you got a curse Boy, but don't you think that's taking it a bit far?" Genma twitched, hardly believing that his Son would be so… _indulgent _with his female form.

It was fun to torment him Ranma admitted to herself, but he was going to have to get used to the new facts of life sooner or later. "Look Pop, you musta missed last night's episode. I _don't care _no more and since I don't care no more, I might as well look good doing it." Genma was rendered speechless, so she continued. "I lost all interest in finding a cure after two years in that hellhole so I thought I might as well settle in for the long haul."

"But…"

"No buts." Ranma cut his father off. "It's also a tactical consideration. Most of my power resides in this body and today I'm breaking engagements and takin' names. You know damn well the Amazon's aren't gonna take no for an answer." Either his father's mind was stuck in neutral or he was seriously contemplating what his son was saying since he remained silent.

"It's nothing more than a fashion accessory to him, Father." Kasumi added brightly, having long rationalized the matter herself. She even encouraged it to some extent for her husband's own mental well-being, not to mention that it kept the bedroom lively. No need for father to know that, however. The word 'father' snapped Genma out of his contemplation sharply. "Besides. He's a man in every way that matters so there's nothing for you to worry about."

Genma sighed. Obviously the Boy's own wife was okay with it and that was a topic whose road he really didn't want to wander down anyway. "All right, Boy. Have it your way. Na-chan won't be happy with you though."

"Mother has twin grandchildren on the way, so I doubt she'll mind too much." Kasumi smiled and Genma's eyes widened before simply passing out.

Ranma shook her head at his wife. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

His only reply was a serene smile.

The pigtail girl snorted and her left hand extended and she began to form a complex multi-part Seal with her fingers.

"_Contingency_," she whispered to no one in particular and a blue aura flashed to life around Ranma. A series of complicated hieroglyphic rings flared to life on the ground around her, shining skyward before fading away as if they never existed. "Guards in place, Kas-chan?" Kasumi nodded and the two left the Tendo compound hand in hand.

* * *

"**D**amn you, Ranma!" The Lost Boy fumed, causing the pedestrian traffic around him to stop suddenly. He looked up to find twenty or so sets of eyeballs riveted on his person, while whispers began to filter through the air. Ryoga's face turned a bright shade of pink. Of course it didn't help matters that the aforementioned object of his angst wasn't within a few thousand miles of his location. This was, after all, Paris. He pressed on through the crowd, which was now giving him a wide berth anyway and stepped right into the path of…

"RANMA?"

Actually he would have never recognized her if it hadn't been for Kasumi Tendo at her side. Not that Ranma actually looked any different, just that her current fashion was so out of place on the martial artist as to create a mental short circuit in Ryoga's brain. In this case, Ranma plus feminine clothing did not bridge the recognition gap. Neither did the jewelry for that matter.

"Ryoga!" He watched as Ranma's face lit up with a smile and she dashed across the remaining few feet to crush Ryoga in a hug. It was a brief hug, but long enough to kick another dozen mental circuit breakers out of play. "God damn it's good to see you, Buddy!"

What the hell! Ryoga's brain desperately rerouted function through the areas that hadn't yet gone off line and tried to make sense of what was occurring. He had left his rival to his fate just over a month ago and in that time was now wearing feminine clothing, jewelry and had no problems with displays of affection or close contact regarding his girl-type. The higher logic centers of his brain began to shut down, so he settled for something simple instead.

"Ranma, what are you doing in France?"

Ranma snorted with amusement and Kasumi produced a cute giggle. "Welcome to Tokyo, bro!" Ryoga reeled and Ranma was practically bouncing around him with energy. "Man, I can't tell you how much I've missed you!" Even Kasumi stepped over to him and clasped his hand in warm friendship. It was obvious to the pair that the Lost Boy was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so they dragged him into a local coffee shop where he could recover his mental footing. It was really too bad they were going to have to destroy it outright once more as they had their family. Regardless, several burning questions gnawed at Ryoga.

"Are you still weak, Ranma?" It was absolutely blunt and to anybody else would have been perceived as an insult, but Ranma wouldn't have it any other way.

"In the manner you mean, yeah, I am." Ryoga's face registered shock. Over a month and still no cure? "The curse seems to have a random element in it because of all the blood sacrifice. It's chaotic like that and it disrupts my ki pathways each time I shift forms. Hell, you've got me so outgunned in terms of raw martial arts power it's pathetic."

The Lost Boy was stunned on to many levels to speak. Did Ranma just admit… Defeat! But in a way it made sense. Even he couldn't help but to notice that the same chaotic element that had crippled his chief rival had also magnified his own ki-output ten-fold, and with this new information all the pieces fell into place. It also went a long way in explaining why he could now pump out Shishi Houkou Dan Doubles like water from a facet.

"I see." He finally concluded. No Ki meant no real martial arts. No martial arts meant no rival. Even his honor couldn't justify dueling Ranma in his present state. "But there's got to be a—"

"No." Cure? Ryoga blinked at the finality of her statement. Ranma took his hand on the tabletop they sat at, surprising Ryoga once more. He made a weak attempt to pull away but encountered resistance. "And I think it's time you knew the _whole_ story."

He could only sit back as they detailed their lives over the last twelve years and continued to hammer Ryoga with reality crushing disbelief in story after story. Their apprenticeships in the magical and healing arts. The master Sakkarin and his errands. Their journeys to other worlds. Life and death struggles against horrors unspeakable. The wedding hit him hardest.

"_MARRIED?"_ Ryoga looked as though he had been stricken by a bus. "But… But… Akane?"

This time Kasumi took the question. "You have our permission to pursue her if that is your wish." The statement had the desired affect, instantly bypassing the normal short circuit that would have led to the outrage of poor Akane's heart being broken.

"Just like that?" Ryoga stared at the pair in clear confusion.

Ranma shook her head. "Not just like that. We've been off-plane for just over twelve years and have married in that time. Kas-chan even has twins on the way."

"Akane will need somebody… close to her in the days ahead." Kasumi took the conversation over smoothly, soothing Ryoga as she explained the situation. In reality, this conversation had been mapped out five years in advance as both Ranma and Kasumi could predict each family member's response with startling clarity. That clarity extended to Ryoga who if not handled like the time bomb he was, would erupt into full Akane-defensive mode that would stoke his fury for quite possibly the rest of his days. "Do you think you could do that for my little sister, Ryoga?"

Does she think I can do that? Ryoga realized with no small amount of shock. It's only been my driving focus since meeting Ranma, for cryin' out loud! Revenge may have been out of the question now, but this was no paltry second best. Even as he considered the possibilities of such an arrangement, the inherent dangers manifest themselves to him quite readily.

"If she ever finds out…"

Ranma nodded. The curse has its grip on him too, and holding a loving relationship was much harder when you led the double life of your spouse's pet pig. "Kas-chan?"

Kasumi smiled took Ryoga's hand from Ranma. "This won't hurt a bit." Before he could question what wouldn't hurt a bit, her hand began to glow and in it, his. Her eyes began to glow likewise and he gasped as Kasumi seemed to look through him. It only lasted a few seconds but in that time he couldn't tear his eyes from hers and not for trying. The glow fade and her smile returned.

"What the hell was that!" Ryoga had managed to capture the attention of the entire café and turned beat red. He slumped down into his seat and stared at the two with ravenous curiosity.

"A consultation." Ranma grinned, then turned to his wife. "What's the prognosis, Doc?"

Now it was Kasumi's turn to smile widely. It always gave her a tiny thrill when her husband recognized her skills as a consummate professional. "Actually better than yours…" The look on Ranma's face said it all. Total surprise. "I might very well be able to break both curses at once."

"WHAT!" Ryoga shot up from the table and stared at Kasumi in awe. This time he didn't give a damn who was watching him. "Are you… serious!"

Kasumi's wide smile settled back into a serene one and Ranma marveled for perhaps the thousandth time at how Kasumi could convey so much emotion with little minute change to those beautiful lips of hers. "If it were just the Jyusenkyou I would have no chance neutralizing it, much like my Ran-chan's current condition. But the addition of your directional curse makes a cure possible. They overlap on one another creating instability and there is a chance- a _small_ chance –that I can set them against one another."

"Both… at once?"

She nodded, but her smile faded. "We cannot assume the procedure will be without risk, however. The death magic of Jyusenkyou is strong and your directional curse has held its power for generations. The only reason I'm even able to affect change is due their chaotic overlap, and playing with chaos is not something to be undertaken lightly."

A cure. But a risky cure, Ryoga realized, looking from Kasumi to Ranma. "My only question is… Why?"

Ranma's girl-type smile burned a hole through any suspicion he was still harboring. "Cuz Ryoga… I learned somewhere along the way that rivals are a dime a dozen and enemies are even cheaper. You've always been there for me and now it's payback time."

He was stunned. This wasn't the same Ranma he had left out on the streets over a month ago. There were so many questions that needed answering, but that statement by itself told him that they could wait.

"It will take a few days to prepare." Kasumi stated and he nodded dumbly.

_Me and Ranma. Friends._ Who would have thought…?

* * *

**Candlekeep;** An ancient fortress-turned-library, south of Baldur's Gate and north of the kingdom of Amn and its capital, Athkatla, also on the Sword Coast. Located on the Plane of Faerûn. Reference game Baldur's Gate I & II

**Lady ****Galadriel****;** Elven female, aka- Lady of the Galadhrim, Lady of the Golden Wood, Lady of Lórien. Reference JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

**The Radiant Order;** An association of clerics, spell casters and alchemist dedicated to the healing arts. I made this up.

**Belldandy;** Nord Goddess of the Present, fiancée to Keiichi. Reference anime Ah My Goddess!

**Ketteiteki Hi**; An Ôdachi, Kasumi's weapon of choice. Its name translates to 'Decisive Light'. The Ôdachi is a Japanese long sword, not to be confused with its shorter katana brethren.

* * *

**Crapspace Bonus Track:** _**  
Detour 1/2**_ (an alt version of this fic or, "Ranma teh Succubus")

Chapter o1

**T**he screech of torn metal and dying animals echoed across the park as a jagged edge of light punctured the sky. Kids and parents alike ran for their lives while the tempest grew into a pitched crescendo ten feet above the ground. Had anybody actually stayed around to watch they would have been amazed to see a female fall from the sky, sheathed odachi in one hand with a fiery red ponytail trailing through the air. She landed into a graceful crouch and thumbed the hilt of the sword, allowing an inch of steel to glitter in the sunlight. The woman scanned her immediate surrounding warily and relaxed once it became clear that there was no threat. She notched the long katana back into its sheath and was starting to draw to her normal height when the vortex disgorged another figure who promptly bounced off the Saotome's head. The diminutive foot and half high gnome recovered from the bounce and flipped gracefully to the earth where upon the redhead shot him an annoyed look, then shrugged. Both looked back up at the flickering porthole of light, which promptly collapsed in upon itself.

The old gnome scratched his head. "Looks like the ol' boy ain't coming."

The woman sighed, shaking her head. "Jeez, how could he possibly get lost in a slip hole?"

The old man nodded and his eyes brightened. "Sweeto!" He jumped up and found a cushioned landing between the V-neck that held the redhead's generous breasts, where he snuggled in as if it were a throne.

Ranma Saotome rapped him on the head lightly with the pommel of her odachi but otherwise favored him with an affectionate look before plucking him off and affixing him to her shoulder. "One of these days you're gonna have to stop that, ya old fart." She took one last wistful look into the sky.

"That's what you always say." Happosai chuckled. "Don't worry. He'll be along in a few days."

"Better be." She snorted. "Or his ass is mine."

"Isn't it already?" The old master retorted with no small measure of humor.

"Hmmf." Ranma sniffed. She tied the sheathed sword into the belt of her white and blue kimono-like robe. "Dojo?"

"Dojo!" Happosai confirmed happily, pointing the way with his pipe.

Kasumi hummed a merry tune as she fixed dinner, though few would believe that behind her mask of serenity was a very discontent woman. Not that she didn't enjoy looking after the family and working in the kitchen, but there was something missing from her life. The family filtered in while she set the table. It was rather ironic that it was the very calm around the dojo that brought that feeling to the forefront, and Kasumi remembered back to a time when she would have enjoyed that calm. That was two years ago, then Ranma Saotome dropped into their lives and turned it upside down while shaking them sideways. He had been the catalyst in their lives that helped them break death's shadowy grip on the family. For the space of two years, Ranma and company had unknowingly helped them all in one way or another through his bouts of chaos, rivals and fiancées. Of course there was the property damage. And the incessant duels. The bickering. And extortion. But regardless of how bad it got, it was a new life, and it had come not a moment too soon.

Now it was gone.

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, betrothed to Akane Tendo had been missing for over a year now. The circumstance of that disappearance were plain enough, Kasumi recalled as the family began eating. Meals these days normally consisted of small talk and the like, but nothing outlandishly exciting. Nabiki still cooked the books. Akane still pounded on boys and she still maintained the household. Occasionally Genma or Nadoka would drop by to see how things were doing, but other than that, their lives were quickly sinking back into the pre-Saotome slump. He had departed in the middle of the night, leaving only a note to explain his reasoning, which was to find a cure. The curse had finally manifest a random element within it, one that disrupted the young martial artist's ki pathways every time he shifted forms. The consequence of this was that his ki usage became impotent for an extended amount of time, resulting in a serious handicap in battle.

Ryoga had been the first to notice apparently. Without ki to speed up his attack fortify his body, Ranma fell quickly and yet Ryoga would not finish the fight. He had recognized the fatal weakness and refused to exploit it, following the same code of honor as he had before. Shortly thereafter, the family had found the note detailing his quest for a cure and neither had been seen since. Granted, Ryoga-kun might be pure coincidence. After all, he did have a perchance for misdirection, but his absence for an entire year was unusual even for him. Like wise, the old master. The total lack of panty raids had left Nermia stunned, not that anybody complained. Him being gone was best for all parties concerned, regardless of the circumstances he disappeared under.

Kasumi was about to serve seconds when she paused, subtle awarness rippling across her consiousness. It was the house Wa and it had been disturbed, she noted, pausing in her duties. Something was about to happen. No idea what, but it felt strangely familiar. Almost as as it…

"Pretty ladies!" Happosai bounced into the room, radiating lecherous enthusiasm. With a light flip, the old master landed squarely on the table's center, favoring the sitting occupants with a grin. Kasumi was glad she was already standing. He quickly swiveled to the Tendo patriarch and Soun stiffened under his scrutiny. "Miss me, Tendo?"

"No- Um, YES! Yes, of course, Master!" Soun Tendo choked, hoping his trespass went unnoticed.

Happosai nodded, either missing the slip or simply ignoring it. He turned back to the two seated daughters, ignoring Kasumi completely. Nobody messed with Kasumi, and being such a sweet woman had nothing to do with it. She controlled the food and one did not want to upset such a lofty station in the household. The elder pulled a lacey pink bra from his pocket, unfolding it to proudly display. "Now which of you pretty ladies would like to model this for—"

_Whap!_

"Ow!"

"Remember the deal, ya old fart."

All eyes snapped onto the new comer who had just rapped Happosai across the head with the end of her scabbard. It was a moment of deju'vu as the four Tendos studied the woman; she could have easily been Nadoka Saotome. She was 5'6", wearing a white and blue kimono that hugged every soft curve, as if the deep 'V' neck that displayed her ample cleavage wasn't enough. Nabiki was already eyeing the jewelry, which her expert eye instantly appraised to be worth a small fortune. The stranger brought the sheathed sword back up to her chest, cradling it in her arms in a most Nadoka fashion, reinforcing the illusion further. Yet there was one thing that shattered it completely: The fiery red hair. It was totally off from the Nadoka they knew, especially when it was braided into a long waist deep ponytail. The pieces fell into place for Kasumi and Nabiki simultaneously.

"RANMA!"

Akane stood up with a start. It was impossible! Her body was completely different! Her face smoother… It was as if she were in her mid twenties instead of the eighteen year old martial artist that had disappeared. But it was! She bolted from the table and crushed Ranma with a bear hug. After holding it for several seconds, she released it and gave the redhead a good slap across the face.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"Ow." Ranma rubbed her cheek, but maintained her smile. "Nice to see you too."

**Crapspace Notes:** The whole_ 'Leave, come back agian more powerful than before and completely OC'_ is just stale ameature night for the most part. I have better thigs to do.


End file.
